A/N: Thanks for those reviews, folks. As y'all may have noticed, it's going to take a little while to really get the Zade going in this story, but it will happen, trust me :)
(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)
Chapter 7
"Okay, you've got your eggs, bacon, pancakes. Muffins are right over there, coffee's almost ready and juice is to your left," said Annabeth, serving up breakfast with a flourish.
"You really go all out here," said Wade, eyes scanning over the counter and all the delicious food and drink on offer. "Or is this just because o' me?" he checked.
"Much as we care, Wade," said Lavon with a grin, "this ain't about you, man. This is breakfast, Lavon Hayes plantation style."
"Well, thanks anyway," Wade told him and AB both as he took a seat and started piling up his plate. "At least I seem to be hungry and all. Docs up at the hospital seemed to think I might have some loss of appetite and such, but I don't."
"That has to be a good thing." AB smiled, pouring him so coffee now it was ready. "Are you sleeping okay too?"
"Out like a light the second my head hit the pillow, didn't wake up 'til the alarm went off," he told her, which seemed to please her.
What he failed to mention was the dreams he had in-between and there sure had been plenty of them. Wade wasn't sure why he was surprised to find that Zoe Hart seemed to be haunting his sleep. After all, she was the last person he saw last night before he went to bed and one of the few people he had spent a significant amount of time with since his accident.
With all his other memories having upped and left him, at the very least temporarily, Wade only had the past week or so to work with. His mind spun out in all directions, making up tales of himself and Zoe running around together. Not that he knew for sure they were all made up, but he suspected as much. They sure had done a lot of arguing in some of those dreams, and then, plenty of making out in others.
It did make him wonder if any of that really happened, but Wade knew better than to ask. After all, nobody was supposed to tell him anything significant at all. Besides, chances were good his unconscious mind just made that stuff up. He and Zoe were friends, from all that he'd been told, and certainly from the way she was with him since he come out of the hospital. That being so, he couldn't think they argued much, and if they were any closer than friends, that much at least she would've told him, he was sure.
"Wade?" said AB then, worry in her voice and on her face when he looked at her. "Sweetie, are you okay? You looked kinda peaky."
He opened his mouth to answer her but never really got the chance as the back door opened and the very woman who had been distracting him from his breakfast walked right on in.
"Good morning," said Zoe, smiling widely at all three of them.
"Mornin', Z," Lavon greeted her, pouring a coffee and handing it to her. "You look all kinds of chipper this morning."
"I just woke up with a good feeling about today, that's all," she said, smiling particularly at Wade, or so it seemed to him anyway. "How are you feeling this morning?" she asked him politely as she took a seat.
"As well as anybody does when they got no memories, I guess," he told her, shrugging his shoulders. "I seem to be getting spoiled in the breakfast department, but no complaints here," he said, flashing AB a smile and glad to see her looking less worried by now.
"We already told you, this is the normal state of affairs for breakfast time here," she reminded him. "I'm just happy to see you smiling, that's all."
"Well, what's to be miserable about?" said Wade, shovelling some eggs into his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. "I figure I got two legs to walk on, two arms to carry stuff with, and I'm not in any real pain or whatever. So, I don't remember much of anything, but there are folks worse off, right?"
"That's probably the best way to look at it," Lavon considered. "When I think about how bad that accident coulda been..." he trailed off, shuddering horribly.
Wade swallowed hard and concentrated on his breakfast. He didn't much want to think about how bad it could've been either, and a quick glance at the girls proved it was a topic neither one of them wanted to focus on themselves.
The car wasn't exactly a right off, but it was pretty bad, from what Wade had been told. Since he couldn't remember how to drive right now anyway, it didn't matter so much to him, but what might've been was not a topic to dwell on, he supposed.
"Uh, I was thinkin' I should prob'ly go see my old man later," he said then, thinking it was as good a subject change as any. "'Course the problem is, I don't exactly know where he lives or how to get there..."
"Oh, I'd be happy to drive you," AB said fast. "You want to go after breakfast?"
"That was the plan, since I don't have to be in work until later," Wade agreed. "You sure you don't mind?"
"Absolutely not," she told him, grinning yet. "I need to head home and check on some things anyway, I can drop you off at Earl's place on my way, and if you need picking up from there later on, you can just give me a call. I don't have much in the way of plans today."
"That's real kind, AB, thank you," Wade told her, looking sideways at Zoe when she made a strange sound. "You okay, Zoe?" he checked.
"Me? I'm fine," she said, shaking her head. "Nothing going on with me, not a thing," she insisted, taking a big bite out of the muffin in her hand and continuing to smile too widely even as she chewed.
Wade liked Zoe a lot, he was pretty sure he had before he lost his memories, maybe in a way that he shouldn't, but he certainly liked her well enough as a friend even now. That said, he was starting to wonder if she wasn't just a little on the crazy side of line. Of course, from what he had seen of the residents of Bluebell so far, there was a good chance she wasn't the only one.
"Dr Hart, are you even listening to a word I'm saying?" Brick snapped, so loudly and sharply that Zoe physically jumped in her seat.
She had sort of been listening, kind of, maybe. Truthfully, she hadn't heard much of what her partner had been telling her in the last few minutes. It might've been about an appointment he needed her to cover, but honestly, she couldn't say for sure.
"I'm sorry, Brick," she apologised, shaking her head as she looked up at him. "I'm just a little distracted today."
He looked mad at first, but soon sighed and softened a little, moving closer to the desk and perching himself on the edge of it.
"Is this about Wade Kinsella?" he checked. "I wouldn't be at all surprised if it were, given how things have been with you two over the past year, and now with his condition and everything..."
"It's just so weird," Zoe admitted. "I mean, when we first got together, things were so good, and then when he... when he cheated on me," she said, wincing at the very thought even now. "I didn't know anything could hurt that much. I wasn't sure I could ever move past it, but we sort of... we found a way to be okay again. We were friends, sort of, and then just when I'd decided to go to New York for a while, to clear my head and figure out a way forward, he chases me down and tells me he loves me."
"I did hear a little something about that," Brick confessed. "Lemon told me," he explained.
Zoe sighed. "Not that it matters now. I mean, with Wade having amnesia, he doesn't remember that he loves me. He doesn't know that we dated, that we broke up, or anything that happened with us over the last two years. Just when I was starting to understand what I was feeling, he went and forgot everything he ever felt for me, and... and I know it's not his fault, I know that, but it hurts," she admitted, looking up at Brick as her eyes filled with tears. "It's so selfish and stupid, because he has to be suffering way more than I am, but it just hurts."
"Oh, Zoe, I know that it does," he said kindly, the father in him coming out as much for Zoe as it ever did for Lemon or Magnolia in times of trouble. "I know things have been hard on you since you came to Bluebell, how you struggled to fit in and all, and I know I didn't exactly help matters for a while there," he confessed with a wry smile. "Wade was one of those people you came to rely on, long before the two of you ever got closer. He and Lavon, they became your family, didn't they?"
"I guess so," she admitted, swiping at one eye in an attempt to keep herself from openly crying. "It's so weird having him not know anything that happened with us. It's like resetting from zero, except it's not even that because... because he's not Wade. He looks like Wade and mostly talks like Wade, but something is just missing."
It was so stupid and she knew it. Zoe wasn't oblivious to what the missing piece of Wade was, because it was so damn obvious. He had amnesia, it was his memories that were gone, but it was strange how much difference that really made. Before, when Zoe had dealt with patients that had similar problems, she never fully appreciated how much those people suffered, and perhaps more than that, how badly it could affect their loved ones.
"I'm afraid we're all just going to have to learn to muddle through with Wade just exactly as he is, Zoe," said Brick with a sigh. "And as much as I'd like to think things will change in time, you know as well as I do, this could be a permanent situation."
Zoe nodded her head. "I know. I think that might be what scares me the most. If Wade is never the guy we knew before... I almost feel like I can't be the me I was either."
She really wasn't sure if she was making any sense, or even why she was telling Brick all this stuff. She might have been better sharing it with Lavon or AB who were the greatest of her friends, but somehow, it made more sense to tell Brick. He was a doctor too, after all, and understood the medical side of Wade's problems. He was also far enough removed from the very personal parts of Zoe's romantic relationship with Wade that he could be a little more objective, she supposed. She did tend to overshare on details with her BFFs.
"You know, Zoe, when you lose somebody from your life, whether it's their choice or not, you think you won't ever get through it. Sometimes, years on, you're still trying to find a way, but in the end, you do cope with these things," Brick told her. "Trust me, I know."
Of course, he did. His wife had disappeared out of his life a long time ago now, and though it wasn't the same situation that Zoe found herself in, she supposed there were similarities. However a person left, it still hurt when they were gone, and those left behind just had to learn to deal, come what may.
The other similarity Brick and Zoe had was losing someone who left a piece of themselves behind. A version of Wade still existed in Zoe's life, and Brick would always have his daughters as permenant reminders of his wife. It reminded Zoe that she wasn't the only one suffering and it made her want to try harder and feel less sorry for herself too.
"Ugh, I just have to get over this!" she told herself crossly. "I'm sorry, Brick, you were trying to ask me something before."
"Just about covering an appointment this afternoon," he said, waving away her concern as he stood up again, "but don't you worry about that."
"No, no. If you need me to take an appointment for you, I will," Zoe insisted, holding out her hand for the file. "Honestly, the longer I'm here, the later I'll go home and... well, as horrible as it sounds, the less I have to see my neighbour." She sighed. "I just need some time to wrap my head around the concept of Wade Kinsella 2.0, then I'll be fine."
"I'm sure you will." Brick smiled, handing her the patient file. "But if you ever need to talk to somebody, Zoe, well, since Harley never did get the chance to be there for you..."
"Thank you, Brick," she said, smiling back at him.
It really did mean a lot.
"So, how are you doin'?" Wade asked Earl from his place perched on an old armchair, hands clasped in front of him because he was a little nervous about relaxing too much here.
The little cabin didn't exactly look too clean or smell too fragrant. He supposed that was just how things were when an alcoholic lived by themselves in the woods.
"I'm doin' just fine, son," said Earl, all but throwing himself down on the couch and wavering a lot even when he got there. "I should be the one askin' how you are," he insisted. "That head o' yours doin' any better?"
"Well, I'm not in pain or anything," Wade assured him, one hand rubbing his forehead as if he needed to demonstrate somehow. "I been havin' some odd dreams and such, and my memories are still all missin', but aside from that..." he trailed of, shrugging his shoulders, not really knowing what else to say.
It was strange when he started to question himself on why he went to see Earl in the first place. Wade wasn't sure he really had a reason, beyond the fact that this was his father and so, surely, he ought to check in with him once in a while.
Maybe it was a kind of instinct, Wade thought. Maybe it was knowing Earl had a drinking problem and seemingly no other family around to keep an eye on him. Now he was sat there with him, of course, he had no idea what to say.
"Wish there was somethin' I could do to help you, son," said Earl then. "The way the pretty doctor tells it, wouldn't do too much good tellin' you all the things you're missin'. She seems to think that could only make it worse."
"That's what they tell me too." Wade nodded. "I know a few things anyway, mostly 'cause folks told me by mistake. Uh, George said I had a brother?" he said then, watching Earl's face for some kind of reaction, be it good or bad.
"Yes, sir, you do." Earl smiled widely, only for that expression to fade very fast. "Our Jesse. Haven't seen him in a good long while. 'Course things were never the same in this family after your momma... uh, after she passed on."
He had to clear his throat twice just to finish the sentence and the moment he did, Wade felt his heart tighten in his chest. His mother was dead. He had suspected as much since nobody mentioned her, though it was just as possible that his folks had divorced and she moved away or something. It seemed that wasn't so.
Wade felt kind of sick. Not remembering his own mother was bad enough, but now knowing she was gone and he would never know her, it seemed so wrong. He felt bad and guilty and overwhelmed all at the same time. He sure wasn't ready for the tears that came to his eyes and ran down his cheeks unchecked.
"I'm so sorry, son," said Earl fast, looking like he felt equally as bad as Wade did. "I never shoulda mentioned... I mean, you wouldn't remember that either, I guess."
Wade shook his head, since he didn't have the words. He watched Earl get up onto shaky feet and move towards the mantle shelf. Then he was coming back towards Wade, holding a framed photograph out at arm's length.
Taking the picture from his father, Wade stared at what was clearly much younger versions of both of them, plus another son and a mother. This was his family. His absent brother and his dead mother, neither of which he recognised at all. Rushing from the room, Wade assumed it was instinct or logic, maybe a little of both, that got him to the bathroom in time before he threw up spectacularly.
People kept on telling him he was lucky to have lived through his car accident, to not be more badly hurt in a physical way, and Wade didn't doubt they were right. Still, they didn't know what it was like to be how he was now, to have so much missing from his brain, so much lacking from his life. A week in and it was already too much to deal with half the time, and though Wade knew all he could do was suck it up and try, it did not come easy.
To Be Continued...