Written for Sirius Black Fest 2020.

"How the hell did you manage to sneak that thing in here?" James laughs, as he watches Sirius unpack his record collection, his record player already set up. "It's taking up the entire desk."

"Like you ever use the desk anyway." Lily rolls her eyes, taking an excited look at the record player. "We have one of these at home, well, an old one. This looks so…"

"She's got a point, Sirius," James agrees. "How did you manage to get a thing like that?"

"I know someone." Sirius shrugs, checking out one of his records, just as Remus enters the room. "Ah, Remus, you know this one?" he asks, trying to change the subject.

"Should I?" Remus asks, before carefully taking the record from his friend and checking it out. "Boston… no, I can't say I've heard of it. Is it any good?"

"That's the name of the band. How can you…?" Sirius begins, before looking at his other friends. "You know Boston, right? 'More Than a Feeling', 'Peace of Mind'?"

"I think so." Lily nods. "It sounds familiar."

"Familiar? These are… James?"

"I doubt the noise you listen to is anything I would want to listen to," James shrugs, before flopping down onto his bed.

Remus is still checking out the record, when Sirius grabs it from his hands. He goes over to the record player, and within seconds, the first notes of 'More Than a Feeling' are blaring through their room.

Remus isn't listening though, not really, he is too busy watching Sirius' face. How he has his eyes closed, the smile on his face slowly growing bigger, before he starts nodding his head along to the oh so familiar musical solo.

"Seriously, that song is a fucking masterpiece." Sirius grins as the song begins to fade out.

"It's good." Remus agrees, feeling a tingly sensation going all through him, and not just because of the music either. But just seeing the pure extasy on his best friend's face, and knowing, seeing, what music does to him, it makes him feel all warm and tingly. He wouldn't dare tell Sirius that though.

He had once come close to telling him that he's had a crush on him for years, but James had walked in and the moment had passed. At the time he had been angry with James for ruining his chance to tell Sirius, but now, almost a year later, he is relieved he had, because what would he have said exactly? He knows that Sirius loves him, and that what they have is more than friendship, but to put it into a few simple words like 'I like you' or 'I have feelings for you'? It almost didn't feel like it would do it justice. So he had kept quiet instead.

Well, that is not true exactly. He had told Lily, who has been trying to get him to talk to Sirius, trying to convince him that it doesn't matter what words he uses, but that it's the message that matters. But the moment had passed, so now he quietly longs for him, hoping that one day he will find the right words to say to him.

"Yeah, I don't see it." James shrugs, making them all snap out of the atmosphere the music had created. "It's just so… it's a bit repetitive, isn't it?"

"Seriously, James?" Lily rolls her eyes.

"It's not exactly…"

"Exactly what?" Lily dares him, but James knows his girlfriend well enough to shut up and let it go. So instead, he gets up from off the bed, and wraps his arms around her waist.

"Let's see if we can find something to eat, huh?"

"You're an idiot," Lily mutters, a smile slowly forming on her lips, before giving him a quick kiss.

They say a quick goodbye, before leaving Sirius and Remus to it, Remus still thinking about how happy, how lost in the moment Sirius had looked.

"Can I listen to another one?"

"Yeah, of course," Sirius laughs. "What do you want to hear?"

"Anything." Remus shrugs, flashing a small, almost nervous smile, before sitting down on his bed and watching Sirius taking his time to pick out another record.

"Okay, so… I know it's a little… give it a chance, okay?" Sirius says, and Remus can't help but laugh at how he seems nervous, almost like he's about to share his own work. Or, as Remus quickly realises, he is nervous to be judged for something that obviously means so much to him.

Heart's 'Crazy on You' starts playing, and Remus lies back on the bed, closing his eyes to take it all in. But the acoustic guitar quickly goes over into an electric one, the woman's deep, powerful voice filling up the entire room.

So Remus opens his eyes again, just to see Sirius' reaction, and he finds him standing there, silently mouthing along to the words, his hands moving as though he is playing the guitar on the recording himself.

Remus can almost feel the smile bursting from his face, but when Sirius turns in his direction, he quickly closes his eyes again, not wanting him to feel in any way caught out or embarrassed by his enthusiasm.

But when the song ends, and Sirius goes over to play it again, Remus sits up.

"What do you think?"

"I love it." Remus smiles. "She's…"

"She's great, right?"

Remus nods, sure that if he were to say another word, he would tell Sirius how much he loves to see him like this. Smiling, happy, carefree.

But he doesn't say those words, instead he lies back down again, and they listen to the rest of the record in silence.

"I can't believe they haven't found out about that thing yet," James says as Sirius puts on another record. "Surely Dumbledore must be hearing the noise too?"

Lily glares at him, so he quickly adds; "Not noise as in… just that it's loud, you know?"

"You think I didn't think about that before I brought it in here?" Sirius asks, a confident smirk on his face. "No one can hear it outside this room."

"So if I were to…"

"You're not going anywhere," Lily says, grabbing James' arm and pulling him back onto the bed. "We're trying to educate you here."

"With that?"

"Yes, with that. It won't do you any harm to hear some good music," Lily says, sharing a smile with Sirius. "Now shut up. It's Fleetwood Mac. You do not talk shit about Fleetwood Mac, okay?"

"Please tell me you've heard of Fleetwood Mac?" Sirius asks, but Remus just shrugs. "How is that even possible? It's Fleetwood Mac! Everyone knows Fleetwood Mac!"

Remus can't help but laugh at the shocked and slightly offended look on Sirius' face, but he shakes his head.

"'Go Your Own Way', 'Dreams'…?"

"Doesn't ring a bell."

Sirius looks like he is about to burst, but he swallows back whatever he had been meaning to say, before lying down next to Remus.

"This… you think Heart was good? This is… it's Fleetwood Mac, yeah?" Sirius stumbles over his own words, "Stevie Nicks? She is everything."

Remus smiles to himself, before closing his eyes and letting his head fall back into the pillow. Every song is as good as the one before, if not better, and he wishes the music could go on forever, but when a new song begins, he can feel Sirius grabbing his hand.

"Listen," he whispers, and when Remus opens his eyes, he sees the excited smile on his face. "Just listen, okay?"

"Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise…"

Remus has almost lost himself in the music, the song almost having seemed to have come to an end, when far away in the distance a bass can be heard.

That's when Sirius squeezes tightly into his hand.

"This is it," he whispers, just as the music grows bigger.

Remus can feel Sirius' hand getting clammy, his excitement taking over, even as they are lying on his bed. It almost makes Remus lean in and kiss him. But when he notices Lily watching them from James' bed, he quickly decides against it. Because even if he is to go through with this one of these days, this isn't exactly the ideal situation, is it?

"What are you doing, Remus?" Lily asks when the others have gone down for dinner. "I know you're lying to him about the music. I could believe you didn't know Boston, but Fleetwood Mac? Everyone knows Fleetwood Mac."

"Yeah… of course I know them," Remus sighs, wishing Lily weren't so clever. "But you see the look on his face when he thinks I haven't heard a song before, right?"

"What, the look of frustration?" Lily laughs. "One of these days his head is going to explode. If you try and tell him you haven't heard of Queen…"

"When he thinks I am hearing these songs for the first time," Remus tries to explain. "When he thinks he can give that to me."

"So you're lying to him to…," Lily begins, but then she sighs. "To see him happy?"

"You see how excited he gets."

"You know he'll find out sooner or later, right? I swear, don't even try and pretend you don't know Bowie, or Queen, or…"

"I won't," Remus quickly says. "and I will tell him the truth. But not yet."

"Just tell him you like him." Lily rolls her eyes, before giving him a big hug. "Seriously? 'Oh, I don't know Fleetwood Mac. Who's that?' You're an idiot."

"I know…"

"Lily said you would like this one," Sirius says, when he and Remus are alone in their room later that night.

Lily had suggested she and James go out for a walk, and when Remus sees the David Bowie record in Sirius' hands, he knows exactly what Lily had tried to do. She had tried to set up the perfect moment for him to come clean to Sirius and to tell him about his feelings, and although it is indeed the perfect moment, he can't get himself to say the words.

So instead he just goes over to the window, and he stares down at the grounds, silently wishing Sirius would just be able to read his mind.

But Sirius starts the record, Remus trying his best to hide how much he loves these songs. But when Sirius joins him, their arms touching, he opens his mouth to come clean.

"I have to…"

"I was thinking…"

"Sorry, you go first," he quickly says, kicking himself for backing out again. But something in Sirius' eyes tells him that he was about to say something important as well. The hope inside of him grows bigger that maybe, just maybe, Sirius is trying to build up the courage to say the same words, but his hope is quickly shattered.

"Never mind, it's nothing."

"It's beautiful," Remus tries, and Sirius stares at him for a moment, before smiling, realising that Remus is talking about the song. "Thank you, for sharing this with me."

"Everyone needs to hear 'Life on Mars?' at least once in their lives," Sirius chuckles nervously, before looking out of the window. "Thank you, for letting me share it with you."

Remus can feel his stomach doing cartwheels, and when Sirius takes his hand, he feels the blush creeping up on him. He still can't speak the words though, it's like they are stuck in the back of his throat.

"Remus?"

"Mhm?"

"Never mind."

"I hate it when you do that."

"Me too."

"If I have to hear that song one more time…," James begins, Lily quickly cutting in.

"I love your music, Sirius, and you know that, but it's been the same songs over and over again this last week," she sighs. "Just tell him what you're trying to do, please!"

"I'm not…," Sirius quickly says, but by the blush on his face Remus can tell that he is lying. "I wasn't trying to do anything."

"God, you're both as bad as each other!" Lily laughs. "You're pretending not to know these songs, you're…"

"Wait, what?"

"Sorry," Remus mumbles. "I just really like spending time with you, listening to your records…"

"And we couldn't do that if I knew you knew them?" Sirius asks, looking more than just a little confused. "Why would that matter?"

"You look so happy when you think I'm hearing a song for the first time…"

"He looks happy because he sees that you like his stuff." James shrugs. "It has nothing to do with you hearing it for the first time. Right?"

"Right," Lily agrees. "And you, playing these songs over and over, trying to get the message across? 'You're Just What I Needed', and 'I Want You to Want Me', and don't even get me started on 'Songbird'? Seriously?"

Remus awkwardly stares down at his feet, not sure what to say, and he can tell that Sirius is feeling just as uncomfortable, because he isn't even trying to come up with an excuse.

"Just talk to each other, please."

"And please stop it with the music," James tries, Lily already dragging him out of the room.

"I guess I ehm…," Sirius begins. "I guess they have a point."

"Sorry I lied to you."

"I don't care." Sirius shrugs. "I just like listening to music with you. Sorry if I got a little carried away."

"You didn't," Remus says, but the tension in the room can still be cut with a knife. "What they said, about those songs… I know they're just songs you like. I know it didn't mean anything."

"Yeah, they did," Sirius chuckles. "I was hoping you would find out, and not Lily, but…"

"She's too clever."

"Right."

"Is this why you wanted me to listen to your music?"

"No… yes… no," Sirius sighs. "I mean it, Remus, I want to share this with you. Music, it's… I can't even put into words how it makes me feel, and what it means to me."

"I know."

Sirius almost objects, because no, Remus doesn't know. But when Remus awkwardly takes his hand, he realises that he does know.

"I saw it," Remus tries to explain. "Why do you think I enjoyed those moments so much?"

Sirius brings their heads together, but then he just sighs, before wrapping his arms around Remus.

"We really should be better at this, right? We've known each other for years… why can't we just… you know, say it?"

"Because we've known each other for years," Remus chuckles.

An uncomfortable silence follows, until a noise can be heard outside their door, and it makes them step away from each other.

"We should ehm… we should probably go down to dinner."

"Yeah… give me a minute, okay? I'll be right down," Sirius says, and Remus almost tells him no. He doesn't want to leave him alone, not now.

But he goes downstairs anyway, and he joins James and Lily, who bombard him with all kinds of questions, but who quickly keep quiet when they realise that the conversation hasn't exactly gone as they thought it would.

Remus fills his plate, trying his best not to think of all the things he wishes he would have said to Sirius. But when he hears a murmur going through the Great Hall, he looks up, only to find Sirius making his way to the front of the room, a determined look on his face.

"What is he doing?" Remus asks, but before anyone can answer, Sirius has cleared his throat, everyone by now staring at him, curious as to what is about to happen.

But when he starts singing, it only takes a split-second for Remus to realise what is happening.

"Take me now, baby here as I am. Pull me close, try and understand…"

"I'm going to kill him," Remus mutters, but others are cheering Sirius on, and he goes on singing.

"Come on now, try and understand the way I feel when I'm in your hands…"

"So romantic," Lily gushes, grabbing Remus' clammy hand. "You know he's doing this for you, right?"

But before Sirius can even get to the chorus, Professor McGonagall has gotten up.

"What exactly do you think you're doing, Mister Black?" she asks, an unimpressed look on her face.

"Oh, I was just…"

"I think it's highly inappropriate to sing such a song here, don't you think?" she cuts him off. "Why don't you sit down and enjoy your dinner like everyone else, yes?"

"No," Sirius says, making her look even less impressed. "I ehm… I'm trying to ask someone out. But you're kind of interrupting?"

"Inter… Mister Black, may I remind you that…"

"If I could just finish the song… Professor?" Sirius asks, making everyone gasp, ready for him to be expelled then and there.

"And this ehm… person you are trying to ask out. Who might that be, exactly?"

"Well, you see… I kind of wanted to ask him after the song…"

"Mister Black!"

"I was trying to ask out Remus," Sirius mumbles, Remus burying his face in his hands when he sees everyone turning to see his reaction. "It's kind of ruined now though, isn't it?"

"Well… I suppose you and Mister Lupin better go talk somewhere a little more private. Don't you think?"

"Sure, Professor McGonagall," Sirius mumbles, but before he can turn, she leans in, a small smile on her face.

"Good luck, Mister Black."

Sirius flashes a nervous smile, before going over to Remus and leading him out of the Great Hall.

"I guess that wasn't one of my better ideas, huh?"

"You think?" Remus laughs. "That song is…"

"Not the best to ask someone out?"

"Were you really trying to ask me out?" Remus asks, but when he sees the big grin on his best friend's face, he can't help but smile.

"I just got up and sang Patti Smith to you. What else can I do to make you go out with me?"

"You know we can't go back in there now, right?" Remus laughs. "That's all they're going to be talking about."

"So why don't we go upstairs and listen to some music instead?"

"Fleetwood Mac?"

"I thought you didn't know them?" Sirius teases, playfully nudging Remus in the arm. But Remus leans in, and he presses a nervous kiss against his lips.

"Sorry… I've been meaning to do that for a long time…"

"Good." Sirius smiles. "Me too."

They go up to their room, but when Sirius is picking out a record, he turns around, a troubled look on his face.

"You haven't changed your mind already, have you?"

"What you said, about seeing how much music means to me… did you mean that? Can you really see it?"

Remus gives a nervous nod, not sure where this is going.

"You know you make me feel the same way, right? No, more… that feeling, like… in there, when you're listening to a song, and it fills you up with every good thing you've ever felt?" Sirius asks, putting a hand on his chest, and Remus nods again. "That's how you make me feel, every time we're together."

"That's a lot."

Sirius puts the record on, before lying down next to Remus. He brushes the hair from his eyes, before carefully kissing him, his hand lingering on the side of his face.

"Would you really have sung that whole song in front of everyone?"

"Of course!"

"You're lucky you didn't get expelled."

"Expel me for what? I didn't do anything." Sirius shrugs, a mischievous grin on his face. But then it turns nervous, and he sighs. "Are you and me…"

Remus gives a nod, before making himself comfortable in Sirius' arms, the music playing in the background.

"Did you really think I didn't know them?"

"Nah… everyone knows Fleetwood Mac."