Heyy, next chapter! Any comments or replies are deeply appreated. They're super motivating and I haven't been getting many. Thanks to the person who replyed twice!!

Meredith's pov

I walked into Dr. Wyatt's office, a smile plastered on my face. I plopped down on the comfy couch and locked eyes with her.

"Good morning!" She raised her eyebrow, suspiciously analyzing my sudden, content demeanor. "How are you doing?"

"Fine." I nodded contently. "Well, I feel so much better after expressing my feelings to you last week! So thanks, but that's all the therapy I need for now." I waited for a response, but all I found was her blank stare before she finally spoke after long silence.

"Meredith, that's not a good idea."

"You said I wasn't coping. You were right. I talked about my feelings. Now I'm fine. So thank you, but that's enough for now." I stood up and headed for the door.

"And here we go again." I turned around at the sound of her annoyed sigh.

"Excuse me?" This woman was crossing the line.

"You're not done. You came to one session." She didn't seem to care about my reasonable request.

"Ugh, fine. You win. I'll sit through this one too." I huffed with exhaustion and sunk into the couch, disdain emanating from my slouching figure. I wasn't in a mood for arguing. "But I'm totally fine," I stated resolutely.

"Okay then," Wyatt pointed at the cup of coffee I was holding. "How much coffee have you had today?" She looked up at me questioningly.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Do you sleep?"

I froze, unable to answer.

"How long?" She asked softly, as if reading my thoughts.

"A little more than two months," I confessed as I took a breath.

"That means this started before Ellis's situation did." Dr.Wyatt's gaze locked with mine. "Any idea why?"

I shook my head.

"Are you sure? Because that would make this way easier."

I stayed quiet.

"Fine" She started again after a whole minute of prolonged silence. "What happened two months ago?"

"Again?" I rolled my eyes with exasperation.

"Didn't I help you the last time?" I refused to meet her gaze. She was right, though I didn't want to admit it.

I finally responded by giving her a tiny nod.

"So trust me."

"Nothing happened."

She raised her eyebrow, unbelieving of my simplistic tale. "I mean it. Literally nothing happened." I let myself be further enveloped into the sofa.

"Alright. The insomnia used to be your main PTSD symptom so-"

"I've dealt with the mother crap. No need to talk about it."

"If it's not a problem anymore there is no harm in talking about it. It shouldn't be that difficult anymore" She gave me a sympathetic look.

"It's not." I faked a confident grin. "I've dealt with it."

"No, you didn't. You had a breakthrough, felt a little bit better and left treatment way too early to fully process it."

"My mother isn't the problem." I responded emotionlessly.

"So what is?"

I found myself unable to respond. I had no answer for her.

"Okay then." She continued after my lack of a response. "How about you tell me about a trauma?"

"Which one?" I smirked.

"You choose." Dr. Wyatt shrugged.

"Are we playing a new game now? Pick a trauma?" I desperately wanted to annoy her, but deep inside I knew my efforts would be futile. She was probably the most stoic person in the world. Externally, at least.

"Sure."

Amelia's pov

The moment I entered Meredith's house I headed straight for the stairs. As I rushed into Ellis's room I couldn't help but stand, transfixed. She was hurriedly crushing some drugs with a stapler, determination evident on her features. It took a few moments for her to notice my presence, and bolted upwards in surprise, smashing her head into the cabinet. The tendrils of blood dripping down her face afterward cut through my trance. I slowly approached her and looked at the laceration.

"You're gonna need stitches." I sighed. "Go clean yourself up. I'll be in the car," I added softly.

"I-"

She immediately stopped when I turned around and gave her a death glare.

My meandering gaze stopped at the bag of pills beside her bed as I took a deep breath. I silently advanced towards the bed and methodically placed the white, glistening toxins back in the baggie again.

That's when it happened.

That old feeling I haven't felt in a long time crept up on me from a place I didn't even know existed.

The tantalizing demons beckoning me, taunting me to place the beautiful orbs onto my salivating tongue…

I stared at the drugs for a few moments. Before I knew it, my hands began to tremble as I felt their smooth, beckoning touch caressing my fingers. My eyes widened with a terrifying surprise as I panicked and dropped all the pills onto the floor. I emitted a small gasp before snatching my keys and bolting out the door.

Before long, the tranquil darkness of the car surrounded me as I began to take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I slowly lowered my gaze to my hands, faint in the lack of light, though still noticeably trembling. And the steady breathing wasn't helping. Unable to discern what else to do, I grasped for my phone and dialed Addison's number.

The 10 seconds I had to wait felt like a lifetime.

"Hey, what's up?" I finally heard crackle through the speaker.

"Hey, do you have a few minutes?" I started as calmly as I could.

"Sure, you okay?" She asked, obviously concerned. "You sound kinda… Shaky"

"Define okay." I took a deep breath before staring at my hands yet again.

"What happened?"

"Well, tonight I went into Ellis' room and… And she was about to sniff some oxy. She noticed me, jumped, and cut her head open. I wanted to take the pills out of her room, but it was too much so I just decked it and now I'm sitting in my car, waiting for her. And I might be having some really mild anxiety attack" I explained quickly.

"Define mild."

"I lost control of my own breathing for a minute and now I'm trembling and I feel like I'm going crazy" I took a shallow breath, on the verge of hyperventilation, though I still figured it was relatively normal.

"Doesn't sound that mild to me" Addison noted.

"Starting back in drugs is worse." I smirked. The sound of her voice was already doing its magic.

"Do you want to talk or just sit in silence while you calm down?" She asked.

"Talking is fine." I closed my eyes, waiting for her response.

"Okay, well what are you gonna do now?"

"Well… She needs stitches, so all I'll do is go to the hospital with her, stitch her up, do a toc screen, and then I'll drive her to the appointment with her new therapist." I bit my lip.

"You found a new therapist?"

"Yeah. I think that she'll be a good match" I nodded.

"That's great" We stayed quiet for a few moments as I ventured deep in thought.

"How are you feeling?" her question brought me back to the present.

"Better." I took one more deep breath. "Thanks, Addie" I looked out the window.

"She's coming," I sighed. "I have to go."

"I'll check in with you later!" She added cheerily.

"I figured!"

Ellis got in the car the second I hung up.

I peered in her direction. She had placed a bandage over the cut, which would suffice for the trip. As I started driving, the only sound present was the soft humming of the engine .

"It was just-" I quickly cut her off.

"Don't."

Once we arrived at the hospital, we entered an empty exam room. I rolled up my sleeves and put on some gloves when Richard entered the room without noticing Ellie at first.

"Shepherd, you paged me?" He then glanced at the girl. "What happened?"

"She cut her head open sniffing oxycodone or vicodin or whatever" I huffed exasperatedly. "And I am pissed, so you and I are having a meeting." I opened a suture kit forcefully to prove my point.

He quickly eyed both of us and finally asked. "You good stitching her up? Because I definitely can-"

"I have sutured my own hand once, Richard." I proceeded to clean the wound. "Drunk," I added as I began to apply antiseptic to Ellis' head. She winced

He froze for a second, unable to provide a response. "Well-"

I, yet again, didn't let him finish. "And five minutes later I was operating on one of my friends."

"Why did you suture yourself?" He cast me a surprised glance.

"Because my other friend would notice me doing so. And she was an AA member too, so she would lecture me on drinking." I sighed recalling that crazy night. "And she would be right."

"You haven't done that?" I asked.

"Suturing myself?" He raised an eyebrow. "No."

I numbed Ellis' forehead and started suturing slowly and precisely. I could feel his gaze rest on my work. "But you are really good at this". Ellis resorted to stare at us through the whole procedure, Richard didn't want to interact with her because of my obvious annoyed mood. I still had to tell Meredith, which terrified me the most about the whole situation. When I was finished I handed her a cup from a nearby cabinet.

"Pee in it" I instructed. She opened her mouth to say something, but I had already turned around.

"You okay?" Webber asked once she left the room.

"Yeah." A twinge of sadness lurked within my long sigh.

"Yeah."