The sun was hot and bright as the Daisy Cruiser glided into Rico Harbor off the shore of Isle Delfino. Oddly, there did not seem to be anyone working the docks, so the crew went about setting up their own ramp to disembark.

"You think we have time to make sandcastles?" Wanda said.

"This isn't a vacation!" Waluigi said. "Sunny says the dream gem is here and we need to find it before Mario. If either of you waste time, I'll leave you behind."

"What, on my ship?" Daisy said.

"Don't tempt me."

"Pft. Whatever," Daisy said. "Let's go."

They stepped out onto the pier and found it silent and empty. The only sound was a rhythmic bass pounding coming from the direction of the downtown area. It was eerie to see the streets of such a big city devoid of life, and it put Daisy on edge. Houses were boarded up or abandoned and forklifts were left abandoned in the middle of obvious work.

"Yo, anyone here?!" Daisy called out to no reply. "Are you dead or what?!"

"Quiet!" Waluigi said, pressing her and himself against a wall. A swarm of Beezos zoomed overhead, scouting. The three of them hid under a cafe awning.

Daisy hummed. "I don't like that."

The noise got louder as they approached Delfino Plaza. Speakers were strummed up around the roof tops blasting some strange racket. It was like a crude imitation of pop rock song. The vocals were a gargling sort of mumble and the guitar shreds were awkward at best.

"Hold on," Waluigi said, cupping a hand around his pointed ear. "I recognize that drumbeat! It's the same as that Tryclyde freak!"

"We must be on the right track!" Wanda said. "Look!"

There were posters plastered over every surface and window advertising a band: Wart and the 8-bits World Tour Premiere! There were no tour dates, just a list of every major kingdom and an ominous statement of Whether You Like It or Not.

"Looks like we found our perpetrators," Daisy said. "What do you think they did to the locals?"

Waluigi shushed her and pointed. A row of piantas shackled with chains were herded down the street by a team of snifits into the local courthouse. Daisy crept after them and leaned against the door to eavesdrop.

"Get to work you chowder heads!" The lead snifit squawked. "Either you make band merch or we fill you full a holes!"

Rows of piantas and smaller shelled noki villagers were chained to working benches with sewing machines, industrial CD burners, printers, and some sort of machine barfing out enamel pins.

"This is inhumane!" A pink pianta with a white mustache and bowtie said. "These t-shirts designs are all iron-ons! That is a terrible value for what you're charging!"

"Shuddap!" The snifit spat a bullet into the ceiling which made the piantas and nokis quake in fear. "We'll be as chintzy as we want! Profit margins are what matter! We're gonna be so famous it won't even matter!"

The locals gasped at his audacity.

"Not if we got anything to say about it, punk!" Daisy burst into the room and somersaulted into a radical martial arts stance to confront the villains. Everyone gave her a quizzical look.

"We?" The snifit said.

Daisy noticed her comrades had failed to join in on her heroic pose. They were still gawking from outside the entrance.

"What are you doing?!" she said, gesturing for them to follow. "Get in here!"

Waluigi minced in through the door, hands in his pockets. "Is this a bit? If you're going to do a bit you need to tell us first."

"Hi!" Wanda said, fluttering inside. "We're here to stop you, I think."

"Stop us?" The snifits and shy guys shared a roar of laughter. "Who even ARE you people?"

Daisy pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. "Yes, hi, I'm Princess Daisy. Obviously. Big time hero."

"And I," Waluigi flicked a rose out from his sleeve, "am the Great Waluigi."

"Wanda."

"Never heard of any of you."

Daisy cracked her knuckles. "I'll make sure you remember this then."

The music blaring on the town speakers cut out with a sharp record scratch followed by a soft ping ping pong noise.

"Hey hey hey, this is DJ Mouser coming at you LIVE through the Delfino Emergency Broadcasting System, or as I like to call it my Emergency Tune Blasting Jukebox! I just wanted to let all my little fans and foot soldiers know we have an intruder down in the Plaza!"

"Oh no!" Wanda said. "They've found us!"

"That's right, that meddlesome Mario is down by the lighthouse getting in the way of production! I want all roadies on deck to give the plumber a sound thrashing, capiche?"

All the shyguys and snifits in the room hopped into formation and rushed past Daisy out the door.

"Hey wait just a minute!" Daisy said. "What about us?! We're intruders too!"

"Sorry," the lead snifit said without stopping. "Haven't got time to play with you losers. Something serious came up."

Waluigi and Daisy exchanged wounded expressions that turned to the most bitter fury.

"Get back here you mask wearing creeps and I'll SHOW you SERIOUS!"

"This is an insult! The Great Waluigi will not stand for it!"

"Guys! Wait for me!"

"Um! Could one of you unchain us before you leave?" A prisoner could be faintly heard calling after them.

The speakers crackled overhead as they raced through town: "Looks like you chumps need motivating. I'll put on our gnarliest battle tracks, just for you. Lose to that chump and you're all on merch duty! Get crackin' lads!"

The voice of the radio huckster cut out and an up-tempo grunge metal song spun up on the speakers. The platoon of shy guys rounded the street corner ahead. Daisy and the others stumbled to a halt as they spotted Mario already in the middle of a pitched battle against waves of minions. He leapt, performing an octuple jump off the heads of enemy soldiers and clearing out entire crowds with the swing of his hammer. His battle cries of 'Yaha!' and 'Whoa!' and 'Yippee!' rose over the din of battle as bodies piled up around him. He showed no sign of slowing down.

"This is terrible," Waluigi said.

"Is it?" Wanda said. "Looks like he's got things under control."

"That's the problem!" Daisy said. "At this rate, he's gonna save the day before we even do anything. We can't let that happen!"

A shy guy was knocked back so hard it crashed into the wall nearby and burst into a gory shower of coins.

Wanda vibrated with agitation. "Who cares about the credit!? What matters is that we help people! It's not a competition!"

"Don't be stupid, it's 100% a competition" Waluigi said. "If we help Mario we'll be no better than side-kicks. You understand that?"

Daisy imagined being a footnote in the newspaper article. "Ugh. That'd be the worst. I'd rather die than be a side-kick."

"Didn't you call me a side-kick earlier?" Wanda said.

The question hung there a moment.

"Anyway," Daisy said. "It's not fair that Mario gets to be hero every time while us less prominent noble souls languish in obscurity. What an absolute glory hog! Just look at him!"

Mario raced across the beach, arms held wide, shimmering with rainbow Starman Power as he plowed through an entire line of tweeters, ninji, and snifits.

"Disgusting," Daisy said.

Waluigi stroked his chin and then took Daisy aside. "I've got a scheme," he said low enough so Wanda would not hear.

"It would sound less evil if you called it a plan," Daisy said.

Wanda gave the two of them a weird look. Waluigi waved for her attention.

"Hey Sprixie. Think you could scout the air and figure out where that Mouser guy is broadcasting from?"

"I guess that's a good idea," she said, and fluttered off into the sky.

Waluigi turned back to Daisy once Wanda was out of earshot. "I already electrocuted Mario today, so it'll take some time before the idiot defaults back to trusting me. I need you to take the field on this one."

They locked into a sports huddle.

"What's the play?"