CHAPTER 7
Claire:
Her eyes had to be glued together. She thought it to herself as she tried to unpeel her lids that seemed crusted shut as she was resentfully yanked into consciousness. Some alarm was buzzing, and she needed to figure out how to make it stop. It was making her head scream.
She finally managed to open her eyes enough to realize who the arms that were wrapped around her belonged to. They were warm enough but the wrong size and weight. Leah's.
The previous night flooded into Claire's mind with a sharp clarity once she saw Leah still asleep in her dress from the night before with her arms around her. She lifted her head to look over Leah's shoulder at the queen size bed across from them. That's where the chirping alarm was coming from. It was a phone.
"Sophia!" Claire groaned.
Sophia mumbled something before she finally rolled over and silenced her phone alarm.
The room sat in silence with the six-inch stretch of ridiculously bright sunlight hitting first the carpet and then Sophia and Gracie's bed before illuminating the dust particles hovering through the air from the crack in the drapes.
The silence helped Claire's headache but what she needed more than anything was to rehydrate. Since she was in Las Vegas, she wished she could blame her hang over symptoms on the alcohol she'd consumed the night before, but she really had only had the one glass of champagne she'd told Quil about and she hadn't even finished it. Her dehydration stemmed from the fact that she'd cried out every single once of moisture in her body.
When she'd left Quil in the elevator, walking away as confidently as she could manage, as if nothing he could say or do could ever phase her, she'd barely made it halfway down the hall to her room before her hands started shacking so badly she could barely work the room key. By the time she was in the room her eyes were spilling over and she couldn't breathe normally without concerted effort.
So she did what she always did when she knew she was going to fall apart. She hoped in the shower. At least that way if anyone followed her up to the room, they wouldn't hear her. It was annoying that Quil had told her to shower because now it felt like he was stealing her coping mechanism. Now if she did shower it'd be like she did it because he'd said to. She tried not to think about it, but it was basically impossible not to as she started quaking and racking out sobs faster than she could turn on the water and strip her clothes off. By the time she hoped in, the water hit her in a burning stream. She jumped forward with a small yelp but was somehow grateful for the pain, for that spot on her back that she could focus on instead of her entire gut and heart and the way all her limbs felt like they needed to fold in on her like they were shrink-wrapping themselves to her…. She figured they probably thought they could protect her heart if only they pulled in tight enough…. It was flawed logic, and completely pointless.
Her heart was destroyed. It looked like the drapery covering a window in a haunted house. Completely shredded and sheer, flapping with even the smallest breeze.
By the time she climbed out of the shower and wrapped herself in the tiny white hotel towel, her false lashes were left on the floor of the shower, her body was red from the too hot water and her knuckles were swollen from the biting she'd done to muffle her sobs.
When she opened the door to the bathroom, Leah was already standing there in the room waiting for her. Claire gave a start of surprise before she peaked around the room to check if Gracie and Sophia had also followed her up.
Leah shook her head before she muttered, "It's just me. I convinced them to stay and live it up with the guys."
Claire nodded her head gratefully from where she stood in the doorway without ever quite looking at Leah, feeling too embarrassed and uncomfortable to actually leave the bathroom and get dressed. She didn't have enough control yet to interact with someone. She hadn't been expecting anyone else to be in the room and she suddenly liked the idea of being able to get back in the shower.
"Claire." Leah said insistently, almost angrily, waiting until Claire looked up to finally meet her eye. As soon as Claire did, she immediately regretted it. There was too much sympathy and understanding there. Claire's eyes filled with tears and she brought her fist halfway back to her mouth before she spotted the teeth marks still indented in her skin and dropped it again.
"He's such a-…." Leah started before she faded off without finishing. She took a deep breath in before she spoke again, "… But you already know that…"
Claire nodded her head in agreement.
"You don't need to hear it, do you?"
Claire shook her head this time.
"You love him." Leah surmised simply in a soft voice and the sob that escaped Claire in response felt almost like a cough it was so violent and refused to be contained.
Leah just let out a painfully sympathetic sigh before she stepped forward wrapping her arms around a naked Claire only covered in a towel so small that it had to part in a six-inch slit at her hip to completely cover her breasts at the top.
They didn't speak as Leah held her in the bathroom doorway with steam still pouring out. Claire just leaned against her and sobbed so hard it felt like it was going to break her apart from the inside out. She ran her hands up and down Claire's arms from the back before she grabbed the back of her wet head and held it tightly against the shoulder of her white dress until it was soaking from Claire's hair.
Claire had no idea how long they stood like that, but her feet were numb from the lack of padding under the industrial hotel carpet and her hands were numb from being squeezed under her armpits as she held her towel to herself.
Leah finally sniffed and wiped at her nose and eyes so briefly that though Claire wondered if she'd been crying, she couldn't tell with how quickly any evidence had been removed. Leah suddenly pulled Claire's bag over to them from where she'd left it by the door. She leaned down and dug through it for a moment, obviously exploring the options when she suddenly froze with her hands on something. She looked up at Claire with something deeper than sympathy…. It took Claire a moment to register the difference but suddenly it clicked.
It was empathy. Leah knew exactly how much pain she was in right now because she'd been in that much pain before herself.
Claire had always known the story that Leah had once been in love with Emily's Sam but until this moment she'd had no idea what that'd actually meant for Leah.
Leah's hands were steady as she pulled out whatever she was touching that had made her look at Claire with such understanding, and there was a small flash of gray before she held it up and Claire had to bite her lip and look away again.
It was the stupid Seahawks sweatshirt. The one that she probably shouldn't even associate with Quil anymore since it'd been at least three years since he'd worn it and she had claimed it from him long before they'd ever started dating.
Claire just nodded her head in answer to it and Leah stood without speaking as she grabbed the opening of the hoodie and dropped it over Claire, towel and all. Claire hated herself when she took a deep inhale as Leah brought it over her head, knowing that she was fruitlessly hoping it would somehow, someway, smell like him. Nothing was ever as comforting to her as much as his scent was. Leah backed away as soon as it was on and leaned back into the bag before she tossed a pair of gray cotton panties at Claire that bounced off her stomach since her arms were still wrapped around herself in her hoodie.
She finally dropped her towel as she fed her arms through the too long sleeves and let it fall out the bottom before she bent down and grabbed the panties, immediately stepping into them and yanking them in place under the hoodie. She yanked her hair out and then looked back to Leah already sitting on the bed on the far side of the room that they'd already decided would be for her and Claire.
Leah just looked over and then gestured with her hand for Claire to join her.
She ran almost falling over in her haste to get back to the safety of Leah's arms in a race before she could start sobbing again. She lost and was a blubbering mess by the time she made it on the bed.
Leah shushed her softly and just held her as she sobbed hysterically.
"He doesn't want me." Claire finally whimpered.
Leah nodded with her chin hitting Claire's head where it was tucked against her neck. "I know." She sighed and her voice sounded thick enough that Claire thought she might be crying again.
As much as it hurt to have it admitted to her, there was relief that Leah was the first to actually acknowledge it. To not say that he was just a giant douche or that he'd come to his senses and change his mind.
"Why can't I make him want me? I'm his imprint, he's supposed to love me!" Claire cried. "I didn't think that would ever end but it's like he just stopped loving me!"
"I know, Claire, I know." Leah crooned softly to her, "Just let it out."
And she did. They didn't talk anymore. Claire had just cried until she couldn't cry anymore, and Leah had just held her. Eventually she must have fallen asleep since she was currently in the same position she'd been in while she'd cried except now they were both lying down half tangled up in the bedspread instead of against the headboard bolted to the wall with her hair now in a dried tangled mess. Claire could feel the chill from the air conditioner hitting her bare leg since it was hanging out of the bedding and she'd never put on anything besides her panties and hoodie and half her butt felt like it was hanging out, she'd probably be embarrassed except that the other girls were sleeping in their dresses from the night before and Gracie had half a boob hanging out and was in some serious danger of a nip slip.
Claire's mind started running through the night before while she thought about her own outfit Leah had insisted on dressing her up in and doing her makeup like her own personal Vegas themed barbie doll. The makeup she'd enjoyed, it was the romper that she'd laid out on the bed for her that Claire had an issue with. It was short….and it was strapless. The other girls had sleeves and even what Sophia called her 'time-to-get-rowdy-dress' seemed to cover a lot more skin.
"Claire! You're not a baby, this is Vegas! Let's get our sexy on!" Leah had said in response to just the look on her face without ever giving her the chance to even vocalize a protest.
"I know, but that just seems like a LOT of sexy….. we should probably tone it down…. If Quil sees this he is not going…" she started hesitantly, and Leah actually growled in response.
"Oh, so Quil gets to approve your outfits now?"
Claire rolled her eyes in annoyance since Leah was so obviously trying to bait her into it.
"That is kinda a lot" Gracie weighed in and Claire immediately gestured her hand in her direction as she looked at Leah like she was proving a point.
"Didn't you say you brought a white blazer?" Sophia leaned out of the bathroom where she was curling her hair to ask.
"Oh, that'd be cute!" Gracie suddenly agreed even as Leah made a face like she was sucky a lemon.
Claire nodded as she reached into her bag and pulled out the blazer. "I can do this." She agreed as she set the blazer next to the romper. It'd still be more leg than she'd ever shown in anything other than probably a swimming suit, but Leah was probably right…. It was Vegas. "I can't do that." Claire said certainly as she pointed at just the romper on the bed.
"Fine." Leah huffed like it greatly inconvenienced her.
Things had all been good from there. They'd finished getting dressed and headed down to one of the bars for predinner drinks where Leah tried to push Claire into talking to every guy that even sort of glanced her way, and Claire rolled her eyes and pretended to enjoy the attention. They'd had dinner there at the restaurant attached to the bar in the same hotel-casino they were staying in that had some sort of celebrity chef from Food Network. The food had been good even if it was crazy overprized and Claire had started to get really jittery after all the energy drinks Leah and the other girls had pushed on her, they were all drinking and had wanted her to join too but knowing her very limited tolerance she had decided to wait until at least after their show. They were throwing back glasses of champagne and Leah was drinking sidecars like it was going out of style… there'd be no way she'd have been able to keep up with them.
She was so full of caffeine that she'd been just as excited as the other three girls when they'd finally pulled up in an uber and then made their way through some crazy casino mall to a theater where the Backstreet Boys were doing their residency.
The other girls were more hyper and giggly than Claire had ever seen them, especially Leah who sang along to every song and screamed like a legitimate fan girl when AJ suddenly appeared right in front of them in the gap between the front section and the back section they were sitting in, singing along with the other boys in similar positions.
Claire had laughed and taken tons of photos and videos. She'd sang along to the chorus of the few songs she knew and tried to speculate on which boy she liked the best even though she was the only one who didn't already know the boys all by name and had picked out which one she was going to marry at least fifteen years before.
She'd been laughing hysterically at Leah's emphatic singing of I Want It That Way when the song ended, and the music suddenly changed to a more meaningful melody.
That's when the lyrics started,
"Baby… Please try to forgive me."
The laugh suddenly caught in Claire's throat. Something about the way he'd phrased baby was so familiar. Painfully so.
It was familiar because it was so similar to the way Quil used to call her baby and she couldn't breathe as her attention was suddenly riveted to the stage.
"Stay here don't put out the glow."
The first verse started to play out like it was right in front of her. Like it was for her. Like she'd never really heard the song before (in fairness she figured she probably never had).
"Hold me now don't bother…
If every minute it makes me weaker…
… You can save me from the man I've become…."
Claire's eyes were suddenly stinging, and her tear ducts felt like they were swelling. Could she save him from the man he'd become?
She wanted to blink and clear her throat to try to stave off the emotion suddenly rocking through her, but she couldn't look away from the stage when the stupid chorus suddenly picked up.
"Looking back on the things I've done…..
I was trying to be someone,
I played my part,
kept you in the dark,
Now let me show you the shape of my heart."
By the time AJ picked up the second verse Claire's eyes were spilling two large tears that refused to be contained and slid down her cheeks like they were just pioneering the path for the rest to follow. She immediately looked away and wiped at the trail as she sniffed and wiped her makeup under her eyes that Leah had spent so much time applying. She looked back up at the stage to try to pretend she was fine when she caught sight of Leah on the other side of Sofia, making up the end of the line of their group and watching Claire too shrewdly. She had clearly caught Claire's reaction and now looked concerned.
"I'm gonna find a bathroom!" Claire yelled in a hurried rush to Gracie next to her who just nodded without looking away from the nearest boy on stage as she sang along to the words.
The chorus was just picking up again as Claire made it out of the row after forcing her way in front of three other people. Her eyes refused to cooperate as two more tears forced their way out again and she was practically running up the stairs to get out of the auditorium as the lyrics rang over her again all about trying to be someone and keeping her in the dark.
It's just a song! Just a stupid song! She berated herself as she climbed toward the exit. It's a freaking BACKSTREET BOYS song that probably came out before I was even born!
She finally made it out the door with a huff, there was still too much music coming out through the door and she looked around desperately before she spotted the nearest restroom down and to the left. She was relieved until she made it inside and realized they were broadcasting the concert into the restroom.
The only thing she could think to do was lock herself inside a stall so that she at least had privacy as the lyrics from the song rained down on her unrelentingly.
She didn't understand what it was about this song, but it was clearly hitting too close to home and bringing something out in her she didn't want to acknowledge. It was the reason she never listened to ballads anymore. She wanted to blame it on the overstimulation of the whole show. The lights and the volume and the way the sound was blasting at her from all angles but even in the restroom with it as only background noise it was still hitting her right in the chest like a baseball bat.
It was everything she ever wanted him to say to her but everything she could never imagine he would.
"I'm looking back on things I've done! I never want to play the same old part!
Keep you in the dark…
Now let me show you the shape of my heart…."
The song finally ended just as she realized what it was about it. She wanted him to be broken. To be as devasted as she was. To regret what he was doing…. And he would one day… somehow, she was sure of it… she just wasn't sure if it'd be soon enough to make the difference… and what if it wasn't? … what if they were both just left broken and devastated and filled with regret? What shape would her heart be in then?
She could have stayed for a couple more minutes and analyzed her feelings about it all, but then Leah would be even more suspicious, and she really didn't want to since she was trying not to cry, so instead she pulled a piece of gum out of her pocket, wiped her eyes, blew her nose and headed back into the concert.
The other three girls were all singing along to a song about a cellphone and a cheating boyfriend. Claire personally didn't get it, but the girls all seemed really into it and by the time Leah was looking back at her again she was laughing and taking pictures and pretending to sing along too.
By the time the show ended Claire was exhausted and wondering if eleven thirty was too early to go back to the room. Bennett wouldn't be home to call yet, but the room would be quiet, and she could rest her feet that were aching in her stilettos Sophia had talked her into. She was just about to mention it as she waited for a natural break in conversation between Sophia and Gracie who were gushing about their concert excitement still when Leah looked over at her with that evaluating stare again and she knew if she was ever going to convince anyone she was fine she needed to stay and live up the party for the rest of the night.
Since it was now surge pricing, they decided to just walk the distance back to the hotel. It was just across the street on the strip and about three hotels down, the good news was it gave them the chance to stop and see the water show at the Bellagio, which Claire had never seen before and was set to the soundtrack from Game of Thrones. The bad news was that Claire's feet were killing her and that it was over a hundred degrees outside. Literally. Even in the dark at eleven thirty pm it was that hot.
"Just take it off. Stop being such a prude!" Leah snapped at her. Leah's friendliness drastically decreased in direct correlation to temperature increase.
Sofia looked over in response before she spotted Claire trying to fan air into her blazer and rolled her eyes, "You really wanna get pit stains on it?" she asked skeptically and Claire rolled her eyes in return before she finally stripped it off, immediately grateful for the air hitting her now bare skin.
They'd barely gotten to the casino and had just ordered their drinks from the cocktail waitress when Gracie had suddenly giggled. Everyone looked at her when she looked at Claire and laughed, "That guy's totally into you. He keeps checking you out."
Claire immediately turned in the direction she'd indicated and spotted the guy fifteen feet away and staring at her in a very non-discreet kind of way. The second she looked over he smiled at her.
"OOOh! Claire, you need to hit that!"
Claire turned back to give Leah a dirty look.
"Alright, well maybe don't hit that. But you need to go flirt with him. At least talk to the guy!" Leah insisted more reasonable, and Claire looked back to see him still watching her.
He was kind of cute. Tall but probably the same height she was in her heels. He had this great texture to his hair that was cropped short on the sides and then combed sideways more than up. Something about it made Claire want to run her hands through it to see what it felt like….
That was new… she was not used to ever being curious about strange men or what their hair might feel like. He smiled at her again and she caught sight of the dimple hidden in his left cheek. That dimple did something to her and made her gulp as he stood up from the slot machine it looked like he was sitting at more than playing and walked over to her.
Sofia did some form of a giggle mixed with a squeal as she grabbed Gracie and started pulling her to the nearest table that looked like it might be blackjack. She poked Claire hard in the lower back before she left and Claire supposed that was supposed to wish her luck….. or possibly dare her to stay… she really wasn't sure, but she figured she'd now have a bruise on her back to help her figure it out.
Leah seemed too entertained to follow Sophia's lead and stayed firmly planted by Claire's side as the guy approached and Claire suddenly realized he had a full sleeve of tattoos in just black and white on his left arm coming out from under his t-shirt, something about it made him seem both dangerous and more approachable at the same time and her stomach flipped inside out as he came right toward her.
He was just in front of her and opening his mouth to say something when the cocktail waitress suddenly appeared at their side before he got the chance to.
Claire laughed naturally at the untimely interruption and he smiled at her again, letting his dimple wink right at her for the second time. Claire had to look away as she grabbed the drink the waitress was trying to stretch across her and handed it to Leah next to her before accepting her own drink in turn. The waitress finally turned away to hand Sofia and Gracie their drinks behind them and Claire cleared her throat just as a slot machine a few feet away started zinging. She took a sip of the champagne since she figured it couldn't hurt in the helping-her-feel-less-awkward-attempting-to-flirt-with-someone-who-wasn't-her-soulmate department.
He smiled like he could read her nervous thoughts as he watched her take her first sip.
"Are you drinking alone? You know that's bad luck." He teased and his voice was so much smoother than she'd anticipated, she also liked that he'd teased her, made a joke of acknowledging the awkwardness of the situation.
"But I'm not alone?" Claire countered back as she raised an eyebrow in challenge.
"Yes you are!" Leah immediately chimed before she turned away and moved to hop on the nearest slot machine. It was far enough away that if she didn't have supernatural hearing, she'd never be able to overhear them.
He laughed again with that smooth voice as Claire feigned confusion to look at Leah behind her and then down to her drink in her hand before looking back up again, "I guess I am drinking alone."
He suddenly looked around them for a second before reaching over to an unattended craps table next to them and grabbed a random bottle that had obviously been left neglected there.
"Now you're not." He said confidently as he tilted the bottle like he was toasting to her.
Claire started to laugh until he actually started to aim the bottle for his mouth, "You aren't really going to drink that, are you?!"
"You tell me." He challenged but he smiled again so that his dimple was showing and softening the effect.
Claire wasn't quite sure what that comment even meant but he was obviously flirting with her and she felt she was decently holding her own in return which if she could just manage to get through an entire exchange without completely losing her dignity and walk away knowing someone, somewhere, had expressed an interest in her, she'd take the win and go to bed happy.
"I'm Everett." He said with a laugh, letting her know he'd just been kidding.
"Everett." Claire repeated as he nodded his head in confirmation and smiled like he liked how she'd said his name, "I'm Claire." His dimple showed again when she said it and Claire's stomach tightened in response, she suddenly wondered if it was possible to become obsessed with something as innocuous as a dimple within less than three minutes of talking to someone.
He nodded his head again like he was satisfied that he'd managed to discover her name.
"What are you drinking, Claire?"
"…. Oh… just a little celebration." Claire replied like she was adept at flirting, really she just thought it sounded better than 'my first glass of champagne for the night….. I can probably only have one before I'll become a sloppy mess'.
"I could get on board with that." He replied like he liked her answer, "Can I buy your next drink?"
Claire giggled as her heart beat a little faster and she suddenly wondered if he was asking her to leave to go somewhere he could buy her a drink, but she brushed the thought aside since she was clearly with a bachelorette party.
"Uh I think the drinks are free." She accused as she narrowed her eyes teasingly at him.
Everett chuckled in response before he admitted, "I just couldn't think of a better excuse to come talk to you."
Claire let the first truly sincere smile of the entire night light her face as she looked down for just a second before she bit her lip and looked back up at him. The problem was as she looked back up to him, she saw who was behind him.
She'd always wondered what Quil had looked like when he'd broken Coach Dooger's jaw that day at her high school….. she didn't need to wonder anymore because this version of Quil looked way scarier than any she'd ever been familiar with and he wasn't even looking at her. He was looking directly at the man with the sleeve of tattoos and the dimple who'd made her smile.
"So, where…." Everett had started to ask before he faded off to turn and look over his shoulder to see what she was looking at just as Collin was suddenly jumping right in between them.
Claire was beyond confused at the next exchange, from Collin kissing her, to Everett apologizing to him like Collin, of all people, had some sort of claim on her to no one even acknowledging Quil and what he was to her, until Everett had obviously made his escape, clearly eager to be far away from Claire and all the complications she brought with her.
Claire was speechless until Collin made his light beer comment and then it was just funny enough to laugh with everyone else about it.
It was funny until it wasn't when Quil suddenly started berating her loudly enough that everyone in their group, and then some just casual passer-byers, got a good show as he reamed into first her, and then Leah who stepped forward to try to take the brunt of it.
He was louder when he was drunk. Even the few times she'd seen him drink more than just a beer or two were enough for her to notice the pattern. He was loud and he was unreasonable.
.
Sofia's phone started buzzing again, gratefully bringing Claire back to the present but also making her headache again.
"Sofia," Leah, who Claire thought was dead asleep, suddenly growled loudly, "Turn that shit off before I rip your legs off and you can't walk down the aisle."
.
It was only an hour later that Claire was in the elevator with the other girls on their way down to find the casino buffet and meet the boys for breakfast. She'd managed to drink a little water and braid her tangled hair before throwing on her swimsuit again followed by the same pink romper (this time with straps) that she'd worn over it the day before. She'd had to apply some concealer on her red swollen eyes but so had the two hung over girls next to her.
Her heart skipped a beat when they walked into the buffet and saw the table against the far wall with the boys already eating. She immediately realized that Quil wasn't with them and hated the swirl in her stomach that was both a relief and a disappointment. She barely missed a step in reaction to it before she caught back up and pulled a chair out to sit down by Tag.
Everyone shared normal greetings and beach bags were set in designated seats while drink orders were placed before the girls started to move to get food out of the line. Claire had just turned to walk away when Leah leaned across the table to ask,
"So, where is he?"
Brady and Collin both looked at each other before they shrugged and Collin replied, "Still sleeping it off."
Claire turned back around and stepped back to the table until she was gripping the high back of her chair in front of her.
"Sleeping it off? He wasn't that drunk when I said goodnight to him last night." She asked as she looked first at Collin and then at Brady.
"He may have gotten into the mini bar when he got back to the room last night." Brady offered hesitantly and Claire suddenly noted that no one had actually mentioned his name like they were all protesting it somehow.
Claire bit her lip as she hesitated before she said, "Maybe I should check on him….."
Leah immediately glared at her and Claire looked away guiltily since she had fallen asleep in Leah's arms after crying herself senseless over him just hours earlier.
"He said he'd be down by ten thirty." Collin assured her unconcerned before Leah had a chance to respond, "Get some food, Claire. I have a feeling you're going to need a good meal today."
"Why's that?" she asked confused.
Collin opened his mouth to respond but suddenly lurched forward with a small bang and Claire realized that Brady, who was across the table, had stomped on Collin's foot.
"Just because you need to be prepared to lose a bunch of money to me today." Collin answered easily as if that'd been what he'd wanted to say all along.
Claire decided to let it drop since she didn't really want to know what Collin had meant. By the time she came back to the table with a plate full of waffles Quil had come down and was already at the table eating a massive bowl of scrambled eggs. Claire studied him and the dark circles under his eyes as she approached but when he looked up to make eye contact, she immediately looked away, too uncomfortable to look directly at him.
"Hey." He greeted her quickly as she sat in the seat across from him where she was sandwiched between Collin and Tag.
"Hey." She said in a very fair impression of brightness while she more tilted her head in his direction without ever actually taking her eyes off the rolled silverware in her hand.
"How'd you sleep last night?" he asked speaking directly to her and ignoring the rest of the group as he obviously tried to engage her.
"Fine." She sighed as she focused on cutting apart the waffle in front of her into perfectly equal pieces while she listened to Tag and Collin explain the way blackjack works to Gracie.
"Claire." Quil said clearly refusing to just let her be.
"Hmm?" she asked as she took her first bite of waffle doused in syrup and perfectly paired with strawberries and whip cream, it was delicious but somehow, she could barely taste it and felt more like she was chewing cardboard.
"Can you just drop the damn fork and look at me so I can at least see your face this morning?" he snapped angrily, and the entire table became silent as everyone else stopped talking and Sophia actually did drop her fork.
Claire looked up at him in angry shock, but he sighed as he put both of his elbows on the table and leaned forward so he could push his palms over his eyes and dig his fingers into his forehead and then groaned like he was pain.
His face looked a little green and the circles under his eyes were not a friendly shade of purple. His eyes themselves were an insane deeply veined bloodshot before he covered them.
"…. You're still my imprint, as everyone is clearly too eager to remind me, which means I still need to be able to see you, remember?" he groused without moving to look up at her so it was more like he was speaking to the table as a whole.
Claire sat in stunned silence for a moment as the entire table started almost squirming under the uncomfortable pressure he'd left them in before she recovered enough to say,
"Yeah, sorry. That must be so inconvenient for you."
Quil finally looked up from his hands to stare at her as he clearly tried to read her face since her tone had been so nonchalant.
Brady snorted slightly into his water before he started choking and Sophia started pounding against his back. Leah was sitting next to Quil across from Claire and smirked at her proudly before she looked away as she took a sip of her mimosa. Claire couldn't see anyone else's reaction's, but the atmosphere felt less tense.
"Claire…. I didn't mean-" Quil started in a softer tone than he'd probably used with her since before her dad had died.
"So, what did you think of the Backstreet Boys, Claire?" Collin cut across him to ask her and Quil suddenly looked around the table like he'd just realized they'd all been there, privy to the conversation before he looked back at her. "Are you now a convert to nineties pop?"
Claire maintained that stupid electric eye contact with Quil for just one more second before she finally blinked and looked toward Collin on her left as she laughed and was relieved when it sounded so authentic.
"I loved it." She answered brightly. "Definitely converted. I think they might have actually just hit their sweet spot…. You know? like a good wine; they just get better with time."
"Or cheese!" Collin offered helpfully and Claire laughed again in response as she took her next bite.
She never looked across the table at Quil again and the one time his leg brushed hers under the table she immediately pulled her feet back so they were tucked under her chair. When she'd been silent for a few minutes and he sucked a breath in like he was about to say something she quickly turned to Tag on her right and asked him to explain to her how Top Golf worked.
She figured she'd made it through and was in the clear when the group stood up to let the girl's go on their way down to the pool. Sofia and Leah had stayed back slightly so they could kiss Brady and Collin goodbye, but Claire had managed to fit into a group with Tag and Gracie as Gracie showed them both pictures of her three-year-old on her phone. They were just making it back to the hall of the casino when Claire felt a hand gently touch the back of her upper arm. She knew instantly that it was Quil from the way her heart rate jumped and the heat from his fingers seemed to send a zap all the way down her arm. She faltered a step, and he was suddenly speaking quietly next to her ear from behind as he almost begged,
"Claire, wait."
Her heart dropped to her stomach in a mixture of having wanted him to stop her from walking away for weeks now and also the undeniable knowledge that there was no way he'd say something she wanted to hear now that he had stopped her.
"What Quil?" she immediately whined quietly, unintentionally showing how much he really did affect her.
He suddenly got a little awkward as he took a half step back, so he was more facing to the side then her as he ran a hand uncomfortably through his hair.
"Look….. I'm sorry." He struggled to say, "I obviously owe you an apology."
"For what?" Claire asked in shock and her tone made it clear that she didn't disagree with him but more that there was so much he needed to apologize for she couldn't even imagine what he'd pick to start with.
He sighed before he finally turned to look at her and put a hand on her upper arm, she stiffened slightly in response but instead of pulling away he started softly rubbing his fingers up and down a small four-inch path on her bicep.
"For last night." He admitted with a sigh and Claire looked off to the side where the walking traffic was moving past them as she tried to blink away the moisture suddenly forming in her eyes. Wasn't last night enough!? How can I still be producing tears!? "I still don't think I was completely wrong but I obviously could have gone about it in much better way….." he continued in his still too soft voice…. It was softer than his touch and it made it almost impossible for her to not start crying.
She just nodded as she blinked harder and then finally looked up at him standing too close in front of her. She knew it was subconscious on his part, he obviously needed the contact with her and didn't seem to notice as he subtly moved closer to her, but it did funny things inside her stomach that made her hate herself and his smell made her struggle to not lean directly into his chest just so that he could hold her.
"And…. I'm sorry for what I said about your outfit…. That was …. below the belt." He continued awkwardly but his dark eyes burned much more confidently down into her.
She nodded again before she finally said simply but in a broken voice, "Thanks. I appreciate that."
He sighed like he was relieved, and he started rubbing her arm again, this time bringing his free hand up to touch her other arm in the same way so that his hands were moving in sync against her skin.
"So, you think you can forgive me and not be mad at me anymore?" he asked and suddenly the lighter tone of his voice made her feel like if she just closed her eyes they could be right back in the kitchen of his apartment after one of her cheer competitions as he asked her to forgive him. Only she wasn't a naive fifteen-year-old anymore and his offense hadn't been trying to hold her hand….
She started shaking her head as she looked down toward her feet and closed her eyes. It was a mix of denial and confusion, it was so much harder to think clearly when he was touching her, even as casually as he was.
"No? You're still mad at me?" he immediately asked sounding worried, and she looked back up at him so that when their eyes were snapped together in an undeniable hold things became clear for her and she stopped tearing up.
"I'm not mad. I was never mad at you." She answered simply right into his too dark eyes, she could barely even make out his pupils and she hated how blood shot they were.
He was the one to break the eye contact when he looked away and muttered, "You were definitely mad last night."
She shook her head again as she muttered simply but confidently, "No. No, I wasn't." He quickly looked at her in confusion and she clarified, "I was hurt."
His eyebrows raised before he looked away again and dropped his hold on one of her arms so he could rub at his chest from the center outward like it ached there, "Because I embarrassed you?"
"No, Quil." She answered easily and he looked back at her again just as she finished, "because you don't want me."
They just stared at each other with his hand still on her one arm and his other frozen against his chest, their eyes glued together and the words hanging out there, stuck somewhere in the space between them.
"Claire…." He seemed to stutter, and she waited while he hesitated and struggled to say whatever it was he was thinking.
"Claire! Aren't you coming!?" Sophia's voice called from about twenty feet away and suddenly the bubble popped.
Whatever it was he was going to say was immediately forgotten as he dropped his hand on her and shoved it in his hair while he rubbed at his chest again.
Claire blinked and looked around her as the sound came flooding in when a tour group walked past, and she realized the girls were standing around waiting on her. Leah was only ten feet away and looking at her so sympathetically Claire wondered if she'd heard the whole thing.
"Thanks for the apology. I'll see you later." She said briskly before she turned away without letting him respond.
She was at Leah's side seconds later and they fell in step together as they caught up to Sophia and Gracie.
"Sorry about that!" Claire said easily as she smiled at Sophia, "Ready to go work on that wedding tan?"
"Everything okay over there? Sofia asked as she nodded toward where Claire had just been standing with Quil, "He was looking at you so intensely it was making me nervous."
"Oh." Claire chirped in surprise, "He was just apologizing for last night."
Sophia suddenly smiled excitedly, "Well that's good, right?"
"Yeah, of course." Claire answered even while knowing that Sophia was implying more than she wanted to acknowledge.
"Everyone ready?" Gracie asked patiently and they all nodded.
As they turned to make their way out to the pool and Leah fell into step beside her, Claire suddenly sighed since she knew the other two couldn't hear her and there was no point trying to downplay what had just happened when it was clear Leah already knew.
"Should I not have said it?" Claire suddenly asked her pointblank and turned to look at Leah beside her.
"I don't know, Claire….. I just really don't know…." Leah answered honestly and Claire bit her lip until Leah put a comforting arm around her shoulder and they stepped out into the Vegas heat.
The rest of the day was spent lounging beside the pool and shopping as they did touristy things all down the strip. Claire bought a pair of red fussy dice for Bennett to hang on his rearview mirror. It was more a joke since she knew she needed to bring him something tacky, she also bought him a hat that read, my best friend told me EXACTLY what happened in Vegas. She bought an M&M dispenser for Jamie at M&M World that would hold more M&M's than he should eat in the course of a year but that he'd probably devour within twenty-four hours of her giving it to him.
It felt like a blink and suddenly Claire was in the hotel room with the other girl's getting ready to go meet up for dinner with the boys in the restaurant downstairs.
She suddenly groaned as she turned away from the suitcase she'd been digging in, "I just don't know, Leah! Everything is either going to leave me way too hot and sweating like crazy or else give Quil a heart attack when he sees it.
Leah suddenly huffed, "This is ridiculous!" before she abandoned the towel she was running through her cropped hair and suddenly made her way to the wall where all their suitcases were lined up. "Here, at least start with this." She said as she shoved the nude color strapless bra Claire had bought just for this trip at her. "If you're wearing anything that will cover a normal bra than you're doing Vegas wrong."
"Well thanks for the vote of confidence!" Claire quipped back to her, "'No, Claire. Anything you wear always looks fabulous! You can't go wrong, you always nail it!'" she said in a lower octave obviously doing a poor impersonation of Leah.
Sofia and Gracie immediately laughed but Leah completely ignored her as she grabbed at a pair of black high waisted shorts that had about six million buttons holding the fly together. "Here, these aren't completely atrocious, but we really need to go shopping together to improve your wardrobe when we get back home." Claire stuck her tongue out at her as she took the shorts, but Leah just continued, "Seriously, Claire, you dress like a mix between a twelve-year-old and a kindergarten teacher."
Claire just scoffed her offense as she made her way into the bathroom where she could put on the bra and shorts….. she did notice that Gracie and Sofia weren't exactly correcting her, and Claire suddenly wondered if she should let Leah give her a wardrobe update.
When she came out again Leah was holding something that shimmered in a silver sparkly way and said, "Here- Sophia donated this for the cause."
Claire rolled her eyes as she lifted the top for inspection. It was basically just a low-cut camisole made up of a very shimmery but mostly sheer material. She looked up undecided to see Sophia smiling excitedly and knew that there was no way she couldn't wear it without hurting her feelings…. It was cute anyways so Claire threw it on without looking in the mirror to see the result and wondered if she could get away with wearing sneakers tonight to go with her shorts.
"Here." Leah said as she held out a pair of heels for her to take. Though also black like Claire's heels from the night before, this pair was only four inches and in an open toed bootie style that looked like it'd lend a little more support to her poor feet, "Like this, Claire." Leah said easily as she suddenly grabbed the front of Claire's top and slipped it behind the first couple buttons of her shorts just under her belly button.
"Wow. Do you think the next time you could ask before you stick your hand down my pants?" Claire said critically and the other girls started laughing in response.
By the time they were walking into the restaurant less than an hour later Claire had to admit that Leah had a gift. She'd finally taken in her full appearance in the full-length mirror after setting Leah lose on her hair and makeup. She was wearing dark lipstick and fake lashes again and the front of her hair was pulled back to accentuate the long waves hanging down to tease the bare skin of her back. Her legs looked extra long thanks to the help of the heels and shorts and the sparkles of Sophia's top made her skin look somehow extra soft and tanner than before. Basically, she looked fantastic.
She had stopped in the gift shop with Gracie to help her pick something out to take back for her son, so they were the last ones to make it to the table and she was relieved to see the seat saved for her beside Leah at a corner. Quil was sitting on the other side off the table and two people over so that Claire was across from Brady and Sofia.
The restaurant was crowded and bustling so it was hard to hear each other but Claire was nervous about what the guys might say about her clothes as she sat down, especially after the way Quil had reacted to her outfit the night before even if he'd already apologized. It was definitely more sensual than anything Quil, Brady, or Collin had probably ever seen her in. Fortunately, Sofia and Gracie were both wearing similar things and Leah was wearing a strapless jumpsuit that had slits up both legs that ran from her ankle to her hips and fit her body like it'd been tailored to it….. it seemed to have stolen the show, especially since Claire knew for a fact she wasn't wearing underwear under it because the slits on the side went so high.
The first few minutes were unduly tense for Claire as she waited for the attention to focus directly on her, but she finally started to relax after the appetizers were served and Leah had insistently poured some of the champagne Sophia and Brady had ordered for the table into her glass. She did notice Quil eyeing her glass disapprovingly until she caught his eye and sent him one of her warning looks, the kind that said, watch it, I know what I'm doing. The kind she'd only started giving to him after they'd started dating. She was nervous about how he'd respond, especially to the intimacy (imagined or real) of the look she'd given him but was relieved when he'd smiled to himself as he'd rolled his eyes at her before turning back to Gracie next to him and continuing the conversation.
The meal went smoother than Claire had allowed herself to hope for. By the time they were dividing up the check and standing to go, the glass and a half of champagne she'd allowed herself to have were helping her to feel more relaxed and carefree than she'd been all weekend, without quite getting to that slippery tipsy slope and she was finally starting to feel some of Leah's contagious enthusiasm for the club they were headed to that was the next step of their evening plans.
Since they'd done separate bachelor/bachelorette activities the night before Brady and Sophia had planned ahead to spend their last night in Vegas together in a combined party, the next part of which was hitting up the exclusive nightclub in the hotel next door. Sophia had triple checked with Claire before leaving to make sure that her fake ID would get her in the door. Claire assured her that she'd never had a problem getting in anywhere in Tennessee and that with Leah's make over skills there would be no way anyone would question her adulthood on a glance.
She was just making it to the door of the restaurant, laughing with Leah at Collin's stories of his surprisingly bad skills when it came to horse race betting when Sophia (who hadn't limited herself to just a glass and a half of champagne) suddenly sidled up in between Claire and Leah, linking both her arms with theirs and giggled,
"Claire, you will never guess who I ran into on our way into the restaurant! It was supposed to be a surprise but I'm too excited that Mr. Tattoos with the nice hair is meeting us at the club to keep it quiet anymore!"
Claire and Leah immediately looked at each other in shocked confusion as Leah asked, "The guy from last night!?"
"Yeah!" Sophia squeal excitedly in a shrill that really only dogs should be able to hear. "He recognized me and I told him Claire and her boyfriend….." she giggled the word as she nodded her head to Collin next to Leah, "…broke up after an ugly fight when he left last night! He's coming to meet us there! He said to have you save him a dance, Claire!" she suddenly wiggled Claire's arm as she finished in a suggestive tone.
Claire's eyes opened drastically as she and Leah looked at each other in alarm again.
"This is not a good idea." Collin immediately said in an almost whisper more to Leah than anyone else. Claire immediately whipped her head back to the table to try to spot Quil and guess his hearing radius in the noisy restaurant, but he wasn't there, and she couldn't spot him in the crowd.
"It's just a dance…." Leah said but the hesitancy was clear in her voice, "She can just tell him she's not interested and to get lost if she has to."
"But!" Sophia started almost angrily, clearly not picking up on the serious edge of Collin and Leah's tone, "She IS interested in him! Aren't you, Claire!? I saw the way you smiled at him! You've only ever looked at Quil like that!"
Claire felt the heat pool in her face and was about to try to respond even though she had no idea what to say when Quil's voice suddenly cut in right behind her and her stomach dropped somewhere close to the basement,
"Right, Claire?"
His voice was calmly sarcastic, but it shook the way it did when he was angry and when Claire turned around his hands were shaking even worse than his voice.
"So that's you're plan to get my attention while we're here? Play dress up and dance on guys in a club you have no business being in while you drink your weight in champagne?" Claire opened her mouth more to try to cut him off than to even say anything, but he continued confidently, "Because you think that is what will make me want you? Seeing the sixteen-year-old lie her way through Vegas, boozing on the alcohol your friends have to buy for you and jail baiting yourself to some guy who has no idea what the hell sort of drama you're tangling him up into in your game to try to get a reaction out of me?"
He finally stopped and Claire's ears started ringing in the silence that followed which was odd since the busy restaurant kept moving around them as if the earth hadn't just stopped spinning, but she couldn't hear any of it and she took an actual step back like that could distance her from his words.
His words that hit like a slap to her face, and stomach. His words that were the cruelest, both directly and through implication, that he'd probably ever said to her. His words that he'd just said in front of all their friends now standing around waiting to see how she'd react while looking varying ranges on the spectrum of uncomfortable to completely pissed off (Leah) but were all looking equally sympathetically toward her -pitying her- waiting for her to respond to Quil as she just stood there with her mouth gapping open.
When Leah suddenly reached around a stunned Sophia to put a supportive hand on Claire's back she suddenly snapped out of her shocked trance and turned away to the side so that Leah's hand couldn't reach her and she was no longer staring stupidly at Quil, silently praying for him to take it all back, to rewind the entire last five minutes.
"… You know what, guys?" her voice finally mumbled unsteadily to the floor as she felt like she couldn't breathe "…. I think I'm going to call it a night." She finally forced herself to look up at everyone but found she could only manage eye contact with Collin. She didn't understand why but it was the least painful to look at him. Maybe because when he looked back his eyes seemed full of understanding instead of the pity she feared.
Calling it a night was all she could think to say to her whole audience of friends watching her so closely, and there was no way she could look back at Quil to say anything directly to him, and yet unlike the night before her voice held no certainty when she said it. She just sounded shaken and unsure even as she tried desperately to brush it off without causing a scene… though it was pretty hard to pretend it didn't matter when she suddenly felt like she was drowning... like Quil's words were already an instant replay pulling her down as strong and fast as a brick around her ankles.
"NO! Claire!" Sophia suddenly whined as she grabbed tighter onto Claire's arm, Claire hadn't quite managed to shake her off of.
Brady was suddenly there, silently peeling Sofia off her without quite ever looking at Claire who was just more embarrassed for it and started to suddenly tear up in response to the fact that Brady who had helped Quil teach her how to swim and teased her about wearing a one piece the entire time couldn't look her in the eye…and her voice broke when she said, "-No, really. I have a bunch of homework to do…. and I wanted to call Jamie…. and I promised Bennett I'd check in…. and my mom had this thing she needed me to email her… and Rachel needs…" she suddenly faded off when she realized a tear had just leaked out and was making its way down her cheek as she focused on making way too many excuses even though her voice just shook worse with each consecutive one.
She finally started backing away as she lifted a hand in a half-hearted wave like that would convince everyone she wasn't affected and continued on in her much too shaky voice even as she realized she wasn't fooling anyone that she was fine, "…You guys have fun tonight though, seriously. Congrats again, Brady, Sophia."
She still had tears leaking out faster than she could brush them off but was already to the entrance of the restaurant as the horrified group watched her try to make her escape while she basically blubbered. Leah was nodding supportively at her and she was just turning to make her exit when she felt Quil's hand hit her side like he was trying to wrap an arm around her. His voice still sounded angry when he said,
"Wait, I'll walk you up. Make sure you make it okay."
Her eyes slammed shut in response; thankful she was facing away from the group as the humiliation continued to wash through her.
He needed to walk her up because she was too young and stupid and weak to even make it to her room?
Before Claire even registered it, Collin was suddenly there standing behind her as he got in between Quil and where she was standing.
"No. You won't." Collin's voice said calmly but ringing with an air of calm authority she'd never heard in it before.
Claire turned to see what was happening as she took a couple steps farther away, managing to distance herself from Quil because Collin held him at bay with a hand directly on his chest, his threat clear: if Quil wanted to follow Claire, he'd have to go through him first.
"Collin-" Quil huffed, and the one word rang with such deadly authority that Claire was surprised Collin didn't immediately back down. "Get your hand off of me."
Collin completely ignored him though as he looked directly at Claire and his eyes locked with hers in a way that only Quil's ever seemed to... it must be because they were the same dark shape. They were incredibly intense as they locked in on her and he said simply, "Get out of here."
Claire was already following his command as she turned around and moved as fast as her heels would allow her, this time not even trying to fake a confident walk as she stumble-ran away just as Quil's voice rang out behind her, already fading into the distance, "Like hell she will! Get off of me before I break your hand! Claire!" he suddenly barked her name harshly after her, but she was already gone.
She ran all the way to the elevators where she ran directly into the open doors that a group had just walked out of and hit the button for ten before she collapsed directly on the floor as the doors shut and let go of the tears that she had never actually been able to fool anyone weren't there, directly into her palms as a sob escaped her just as the floor lifted.
When the elevator chimed, and the doors opened, she forced herself back up on legs that shook and walked like a fresh fawn down to her room, barely able to hold herself upright as she fought the sobs off. Her hands shook as she unlocked the door and then again as she grabbed all her toiletries off the bathroom counter and while she zipped her bag closed and while she fumbled with her phone until she managed to open the ride share app.
Her hands shook as she pulled her suitcase behind her down the hall and into the elevator.
They shook as she dragged it through the casino lobby and out to the side of the valet where the car was already waiting.
And her voice shook even worse than her hands as she told the driver to just drop her at terminal one.