They had a dining room. They had proper cutlery. They even had tables. Of course, the men on the boat preferred eating on the deck and swinging coffee from metal mugs instead of from the delicate coffee service displayed in the ship's Great Hall.
Severus thoroughly enjoyed this aspect of this vagabond lifestyle.
Hermione, not so much. She looked utterly out of place with her handkerchief splayed on her lap and her floating plate of sardine toast.
The ship had plenty of other foods as well, but the crew preferred to imagine they had nothing but those canned sardines, cracker toasts, instant coffee and home-brewed rum. In fact, they were content with eating them thrice a day.
Severus was determined not to aggravate Hermione with his presence. He sat far enough to give her space but close enough to suggest he was not content with only being a friend. As soon as he lowered himself, Hermione began to fold the little, white cloth.
"Eating in the open brings back…bad memories," Hermione told them before retreating to her room with her breakfast. He watched her disappear down the steps.
"Do you like the tunic? It was a present from Turkey from a dear friend." Viktor nudged him. "You must join your dame! It will cheer her up."
"Certainly not. I don't believe anything that comes along with my presence will have a pleasant effect on her."
Viktor whipped a flask out of his pocket and poured the homemade rum into both of their mugs. The flask seemed never-ending and appeared during any sign of conflict. In fact, Severus began to think he had a great many flasks conveniently hidden around his body.
"You know in what your problem is? I watch you for two days now. You say many, many useless things. And a man must say few, but very important ones." Viktor took a sip straight from the flask. "That is what they say in Bulgaria."
"And the Bulgarians are good with women?"
"Ah, but no. The Bulgarian woman have a saying: take what man says and then do it your own way."
"Not much different from the English then."
"Women, a mystery! But we love them very much." Viktor raised his brows. "Now, go."
Hermione was reading a Medical Mysteries of the Wizarding World. Likely doing research on that rare blood disease Viktor's girl had. He took the open door as a sign of free entry.
"I'm busy. Unless you need my strictly professional assistance in anything?"
"I do. Viktor would like to swim through the Dead Man's Lair. Says it's a shortcut to Barbados to see his Shaman Witch. Have you researched the topic?"
"No, I'm afraid geography is my weak point. And you?"
"No. But I have been considering the sirens. If they're anything like the ones in the Black Lake, we should be cautious. I am not sure he knows the risks he's facing."
They headed to the ship library to see if they could find anything that would help. After hours of reading (with a break for sardines and coffee), he felt far less prepared and with even more questions about their dubious journey under an overconfident Captain. They left to their rooms, books in hand.
"No choice but to trust the man by the steering wheel," Severus said. "I suppose if we sailed this far on his plan, we will be fine."
"Our only choice by the looks of it. Goodnight."
Severus really only said the words to cheer her up. Had they worked? Potentially. Knowing Hermione, she was probably pouring over the books under her bed covers instead of sleeping. Severus decided to do the same.
He read over Mermaids and Mermen. Then he flipped through Anthology of Caribbean Medicine. And just as he reached the middle of Tales of Warmer Isles, a beautiful song lured him to the deck.
He shook his head. Perhaps Viktor's men were also artists. Perhaps it was the rum singing in them. Just to be sure, he decided to head to the deck and check. He slipped on his boots and followed the choir of voices.
Everything about the ship was changed. The sails seemed whiter and softer under the glow of the moonlight. Severus could not take his eyes off the mesmerizing waves that changed color with every lap of the boat. He reached forward to scoop the gems hidden in the foam.
Two hands pulled him forward and dumped him on the deck. Hermione was standing in front of him in her nightgown. Her wand in hand.
"You almost drowned! You idiot! Were you thinking?"
He watched as a siren crept on board by the railing. She had her claws on one of the sailors and her mouth was wide open. Hermione shot the creature back into the sea.
"Steer the ship! I will cast a Muffliato on their ears so they won't hear the Siren Songs."
Steer the ship? If only Viktor had spent less time fondling Hermione and more time teaching him, then perhaps he would know how to work the bloody construction. Severus ran to the quarterdeck, prepared to do the impossible. He grabbed the wheel and turned. He heard his shoulder crack. He turned the wheel the other way. The wheel had ideas of its own and spun whichever way it pleased.
Flashes erupted from the deck. Hermione was having more success with her end of the mission. Severus looked around for anything that could help him. He stuck a wooden plank between the spores of the wheel, securing it in place. The ship rocked and groaned.
Viktor, dressed in violet robes ran forth and reassured the group that everything was under control.
"Under control Captain? This is what you call under control?" Severus cursed as a barrel missed him by an inch and heaved overboard.
"All part of the adventure Mr. Sneg!" Severus had known him for three days and concluded that nothing in the Bulgarian's life came without extra gift-wrapping and confetti. Even now, the gold chains around his neck sparkled in the moonlight and his robes looked far more fitting for a theatrical production than for a heist.
On deck, Hermione had cast a Siren off a boy. He wailed and clutched his arm. Severus grabbed a bat and hit the monster straight across the head.
"Straight shot!" Hermione finished the job. "They don't teach you that in Defense class?"
"It's all Cokeworth." He wiped the slime off his sleeve. "The Ministry won't take that away from me."
"I'm glad they didn't." Severus pointed behind and Hermione barely had enough time to cast another Siren to its demise.
When the sea settled and the boat had been repaired for sailing, the team gathered in for a celebration.