Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
…
"-And they all perished, leaving no survivors. But enough about the latest failed venture in reality television!" A chipper, well-dressed Kikainoid sitting behind a news desk said cheerfully, adjusting the papers in her hand as the image in the upper-right corner of the screen changed from footage of the cast from Survivor: Amazon devouring each other in a horrifically graphic feeding frenzy – really, what had the producers been thinking, making one team comprised entirely of Amazons? – To a graphic of the Star Fortress Orochimecha perched atop Mount Fuji with ninjas and dinosaurs squaring off against Youkai at the base. "It has been one week now since this year's annual invasion, courtesy of the Youkalien Star Hegemony, began… And just as quickly ended thanks to an unprecedented cease-fire orchestrated by members of the Shinobiryu clan, who claim to be the first ninjas in the world, something several of the more prominent ninja families in Japan have been disputing since their arrival on the global stage.
"Unfortunately," the Kikainoid continued. "While the Shinobiryu clan was unable to convince the Youkaliens to leave our planet alone for a change, they were able to convince them that, instead of a standard invasion, they would compete in a series of challenges over the next year with the fate of the world in the balance. They also have agreed to allow the Youkaliens to capture and enslave innocent civilians during these challenges, something that has earned them the outrage of the international community, and more than a few past Sentai teams who think they should have just fought them the traditional way rather than trying to do something different. When pressed on the issue, the leader of the Shinobiryu clan, Queen Tyrajonin, had this to say:"
The feed changed to show an irritated-looking Tyrajonin at a press conference, squinting as camera flashes kept going off right in her face, clearly struggling not to snap and eat whoever was doing it. "Look, I know it wasn't an ideal solution, but we did the best we could to try and prevent all-out war, and besides, I'd have liked to see your politicians do a better job."
The camera returned to the studio, where the Kikainoid said, "Said politicians immediately condemned her for this comment, but have yet to issue any statement as to what, precisely, they might have done differently.
"Speaking of the politicians, a number of governments in contested territories and third-world nations around the world have been trying to curry favor with the Youkaliens by rounding up minorities, criminals, and other "undesirables" and offering them up to the invaders as "volunteer" slaves in hopes that the Youkaliens will leave them alone. While the Youkaliens have accepted these tributes, they've made it clear that they will not be granting these countries any special treatment, and if and when they succeed in winning their contest with the Shinobiryu clan, they will suffer the same fate as the people whom they sacrificed. The international community has decried these nations for their treatment of their less well-off citizens, but there have been rumors that quite a few first-world countries, including the United States and our own Japan, are attempting to coerce certain parts of their population to "volunteer" for servitude to the Youkaliens in exchange for certain benefits for their families and loved ones, as well as using this as an excuse to empty prisons. Upon hearing these rumors, King Tokiwa – may he reign forever – had this to say:"
The camera switched to Sougo Tokiwa holding a press conference in front of his palace. "Cut it out you guys, that's really not cool!"
The camera returned to the studio. "What effect, if any, his scathing comments will have on the leaders of the suspect nations has yet to be determined," the Kikainoid stated.
"On a related note, an alarming number of people have been volunteering of their own volition to join the Youkaliens, believing that a life of slavery is actually better than how things are for them now. While the Youkaliens have not been going out of their way to abduct people, as per their agreement with the Shinobiryu clan, so far they have been more than willing to accept any volunteers. They have also been rather actively searching the country for Youkai, whom they claim to be distant relatives of, in hopes of helping them regain their heritage as citizens of an intergalactic hegemonic Empire which vastly predates human civilization. Reactions among the Youkai populace have been mixed."
The feed immediately cut to a handsome young man dressed in purple ninja garb and a gorgeous busty dark-skinned vulpine woman with extremely long red and black hair seated in what appeared to be a palace. "Well, finding out I'm descended from aliens certainly came as a bit of a surprise," commented the woman, a box with the words "Yako Tsuki: Nogitsune, Assassin, Dominatrix" appearing at the bottom of the screen. "But I think in some way, I guess I've always sort of known. I've always kind of wanted to see the stars…" She grinned. "It certainly explains why I took so much pleasure in thoroughly enslaving my husband! Must've been in the blood."
"You didn't enslave me," protested the ninja, the words "Rentaro Kaguya: Kamen Rider Shinobi, Totally Yako's Slave" appearing at the bottom of the screen.
"Yeah I did," Yako replied.
Rentaro bowed his head. "Yeah, you did," he admitted.
The feed again switched to show the interior of a palace even more opulent than the previous one, looking strangely like the interior of the Star Fortress Orochimecha, a woman looking almost like the twin of the Youkalien leader seated in a grand throne while a woman looking almost like the twin of the Youkalien leader's consort was lounging at her feet and children looking almost like the twins of the Youkalien leader's children and their best friend/playmate/pet/slave/fiancé played in the background.
"I'm not totally sure how to feel about this," the insanely beautiful vulpine woman confessed, the words "Kyuubi-no-Okami: Kitsune, Youkai Royalty, Immortal Sorceress With Power Rivaling the Gods, Trillionaire, Quite Possibly Owns our Network" appearing at the bottom of the screen. "Here I've been secretly controlling a sizable portion of the world for years, and then these aliens claiming to be relatives show up and try to just take everything over, wanting to drag all of us Youkai into the light of day? I mean, sure, I wouldn't exactly mind a world where Youkai rule over humans, but trying to convince us to change our diets from fear to positive emotions instead?! Honestly, I'm not sure that's the kind of world I want my children to grow up in!"
"Their leader's really hot, though," commented the cat woman, the words "Neko-no-Hime: Nekomata, Surprisingly Safe For Work Internet Celebrity, Professional Concubine" appearing at the bottom of the screen. "And they have such adorable children!"
"Ours are cuter!" Kyuubi insisted.
The feed changed back to the studio, where the Kikainoid said, "This triggered an Internet flame war over whose children are more adorable which continues to rage to this day. The only thing everyone can agree on is that the next year will certainly be an unusual one, even by Earth standards, and all eyes are on Japan as the clash between Shinobiryu and the Youkalien continues to unfold.
"And speaking of… It looks as if the first challenge of the year-long contest is about to begin. Our veteran Sentai correspondent is reporting live from the field even as we speak. Bae, what's the situation out there?"
The camera changed to show what appeared to be an oversized vaguely humanoid fly wearing suspenders, tiny spectacles, and with a microphone for a proboscis somewhere in Tokyo. "Things are pretty tense out here, Samantha!" The fly reported, the words "Fierce Beast Fly-Fist Bae: Sentai Correspondent" appearing at the bottom of the screen.
The camera zoomed out to reveal that behind him were several police barricades barely holding back an unruly mob who were cheering and shouting and waving signs. "As you can see, there's quite a lot of people here to see the first event!"
The camera split in two, Bae being pushed over to the right while Samantha reappeared in the left side. "Bae, why are there so many people there? Shouldn't the area have been evacuated, considering that any human that wanders into the challenge zone is fair game for abduction and enslavement?"
"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" The oversized fly remarked sardonically. "However, security has been oddly lax and it doesn't seem as if the authorities were trying very hard to clear everyone out. A less charitable person might suggest that the local government is using this as an excuse to remove some of the less desirable elements of society, seeing as how this is one of the poorer and more crime-filled districts of our fair city, and if most of its residents got snatched up they would have minimal difficulty gentrifying the area and putting in lots of fancy high-rises and gated communities."
"But of course, as a purely objective reporter, you would never suggest something like that," Samantha said with a straight face. (Not that her face had the ability to be anything but straight, as a mechanical life form, but that was irrelevant.)
"Of course," Bae said with an equally straight face. (He was a hideous insect creature without a visible mouth, who would be able to tell?)
"Are those people here to support or protest today's events?" Samantha inquired.
Bae shrugged all four of his shoulders. "It's a bit of both, Samantha. We've got people here to cheer on the ninjas, and others blaming them for the current situation. We've got people telling the Youkaliens to go away, and others begging them to take them with them. Honestly, it's a miracle a fight hasn't broken out oh wait I've spoken too soon," Bae grunted as behind him, people started throwing fists and smacking each other over the head with their signs. Uniformed police officers tried to break up the commotion, but they didn't seem to be trying very hard. A few of them even appeared to be joining in.
"Perhaps not the best way for us to represent ourselves to our alien visitors," Samantha commented.
Bae shrugged. "Eh, they were planning to conquer us anyway, I imagine their first impression of us was already fairly low. Oh, what's this? It would appear that the ninjas have appeared!"
The crowd started getting even more agitated at this, their cries raising in volume and the police giving up on trying to keep them under control. The cause of this agitation, five youths in color-coded ninja gear, looked at the throng with more than a little concern.
"There sure are a lot of them…" Akira muttered. "And they don't seem very happy to see us."
Tetsu scowled. We're trying to save their lives, he signed angrily. The least they could do is be a little grateful.
"I think many of them are," Sora told him, noting how several of the signs seemed to be in support of them. "But I suppose I cannot blame them for being angry at us. We are, to an extent, to blame for how the next year is going to go."
"What were we supposed to, let the Youkaliens do whatever they wanted?" Mozu complained.
"I think they expected us to be like other Sentai and fight the Youkaliens indiscriminately rather than trying to negotiate," Kenji, wearing a bracelet with a glowing blue jewel on his left wrist, commented, fingering the handle of his Dinintana nervously. "It would've been messier, but at least it's familiar."
That's dumb, Tetsu signed. Just as dumb as all of them being here! They'll just make themselves targets!
"Don't worry, once the fighting gets started they'll rather quickly realize they have better places to be," Bae commented, buzzing over. "Trust me, I know from experience-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Akira screamed, drawing her sword and frantically flailing it at Bae, who fly all over the place to avoid getting his head lopped off. "Giant talking bug! GIANT TALKING BUG!"
"Akira, we have bigger bugs back home," Kenji chastised his leader, trying to hide how freaked out he was as well.
"NOT ONES THAT TALK!" Akira shouted, eyes wild.
"Wait, I think I recognize that insect," Sora said, grabbing Akira's sword arm and managing, with considerable amount of effort, to force it down. "You're… Fierce Beast Fly-Fist Bae, right? An ally of the Gekirangers?"
Bae stopped buzzing around and hovered in place now that Akira was no longer trying to kill him. "Well, 'ally' may be a bit of a stretch, but I certainly wasn't an enemy. Mainly I served as a combat commentator during the giant battles, though I did help cure Gou Fukami of his werewolfism that one time. Was roommates with the guy for a while before I got involved in legitimate journalism."
Sora glanced at Akira, who was still very tense. "You see? He's a good guy, we can trust him."
"He just said he was a journalist," Mozu pointed out.
Sora considered this. "… Okay, fair point, but we probably don't need to kill him."
Very reluctantly, Akira sheathed her sword. "Sorry for trying to kill you," she muttered, not sounding like she really meant it.
Bae shrugged. "Eh, wouldn't be the first time, won't be the last. I just have one of those faces, you know?"
"What are you doing here?" Kenji asked the fly suspiciously.
"I'm one of the top correspondents for the network I work at, specializing in Sentai coverage," Bae explained. "I've been reporting on the shenanigans of pretty much every group of not-spandex-wearing superpowered monster-fighting individuals for over a decade now. My small size, agility, and spending roughly 4000 years in the stomach of a dead chameleon lady make me more than qualified for this sort of thing."
Everyone gave him horrified looks. "… 4000 years?!" Mozu cried.
"Don't worry, I was dead for most of it," Bae assured them. "So! Seeing as you're the new guys on the block and there isn't really a lot of information about you – hardly a surprise, I suppose, since you've spent most of your lives in a secluded ninja Academy – care to tell our viewers a few things about yourselves? Nothing big or juicy, just a couple of tidbits to help the public empathize with you?"
Tetsu frowned. We don't need them to empathize with us. We are here to get a job done. It doesn't matter to us whether they love us or hate us, he signed.
"I care…" Mozu murmured. "A little bit."
Akira exchanged glances with Sora, who shrugged. "I guess it can't do any harm…" She muttered. "Nothing prying or sensitive?"
Bae shook his head. "Nope, just describe yourself in a couple sentences. Who are you? What motivates you? Why did you become a ninja?"
Akira smiled at that, relaxing slightly. "Oh, that's not too bad. My name is Akira, Akira Tyruga of the Tyrannosaurus tribe."
The words "Akira Tyruga: Tyrannosaurus ninja" appeared at the bottom of the screen.
"You don't look like a Tyrannosaurus," Bae commented. "Well… All right, I do see a bit of resemblance, but…"
"The Shinobiryu clan is divided into tribes, each of which is comprised of a specific species of dinosaur as well as the humans who train alongside them and learn that dinosaur's brand of ninjutsu," Akira explained. "Each tribe has a different role to play in our society, as well as a unique brand of dinpo, or dinosaur ninja power, based off of our totem dinosaur."
"Is that dinpo why you seem to have certain… Saurian features?" Bae inquired.
"Sort of," Akira confirmed. "Tyrannosaurus dinpo is the most powerful of all, as well as the rarest, which is why the Tyrannosaurus tribe rule the Shinobiryu. Only a handful of humans throughout history have been able to manifest it, and those who've mastered it become a bit like dinosaurs themselves in the process. I am currently the only human in the Tyrannosaurus tribe, the adopted daughter of the leader of our tribe and overall ruler of the clan, Tyrajonin."
"So you're a ninja princess!" Bae remarked, elated. "That's great! Everyone loves a princess!"
"Well, I happen to think of myself as more of a badass ninja warrior who also happens to be royalty," Akira confessed. "My mom has named me heir to the throne, and I intend to become a Tyrannosaurus Shinobiryu so I can take my rightful place as queen one day."
"Become a dinosaur? Is that something ninjas in your clan can do?" An intrigued Bae asked.
Akira shrugged. "It's never happened before, but I don't see why it can't be done. Dinpo is capable of pretty crazy stuff, after all."
"Fair enough," Bae replied. "As a former human myself, it would be hypocritical of me to say something like that is impossible. But, just be sure that, if you find a way, you do it properly. Don't make the same mistake I did. It's how I wound up in a chameleon lady's stomach for 4000 years!"
Akira gave him an unnerved look. "I'm… Pretty sure that won't happen to me."
Bae laughed, a tinge of hysteria in his voice. "That's exactly what I thought, and then I got stuck in a chameleon woman's stomach for 4000 years!"
"And it clearly did not affect you at all," Kenji muttered.
Bae turned his attention to him. "Now you, sir, are an unexpected sight. According to eyewitness reports from the negotiations last week, there were only four ninjas present when the Shinobiryu made first contact with the Youkaliens. And yet here you stand, a fifth ninja! Why the change?"
Kenji made a face. "There were supposed to be five us to start with, but I was… Initially unable to draw the Dinintana blade that would allow me to become a Sentai. Another member of my tribe could draw the sword, but he was deemed completely and utterly unworthy and so was denied a place on the team. He… Then did something incredibly foolish which further demonstrated his unworthiness, and… Well. Let's just say he's never going to bother anyone ever again."
Because Tricerajonin stepped on him, Tetsu signed.
"He didn't need to know that," Kenji hissed.
Bae (presumably) blinked. "Wait, one of your Shinobiryu stepped on-"
"He had it coming," Akira insisted curtly.
"In any event, they still needed a ninja from the Triceratops tribe to take up the fifth spot," Kenji explained quickly. "So they came to me again. My name is Kenji, by the way. Kenji Keratos."
The words "Kenji Keratos: Triceratops ninja" appeared at the bottom of the screen.
"You said that you weren't able to draw the sword before. What changed?" Bae asked.
"Well, initially, my dinpo wasn't strong enough for me to draw the sword," Kenji explained. "You see, the blades can only be drawn by ninja with high enough dinpo levels, and mine wasn't quite good enough."
"They don't judge by worthiness?" Bae inquired.
The ninja shook their heads. "If they did, a certain individual would never have even been able to touch it," Sora groused.
"I was still the best candidate for the job, so spent the last week training almost nonstop to raise my power level," Kenji continued. "Even then, it still wasn't quite good enough, which is why I'm wearing this," he explained, showing off his bracelet. "It's a dinpo booster; a training tool we use to help new initiates who are having difficulty activating their dinpo by giving them a little push to help them awaken their inner power. Normally it wouldn't be much use for a ninja of my level, but it was able to nudge my dinpo just over the threshold I need to use the sword."
"Doesn't that count as cheating?" Bae inquired.
"No more than using training wheels on a bicycle," Kenji said with a shrug. "It's just a temporary measure; after a few fights with a heightened power level I should be able to draw the sword without relying on the booster."
"The Youkaliens are aware that he's using the booster, and are okay with it," Sora added.
"I see," Bae remarked. "So just who is Kenji Keratos, other than being a replacement for some other guy? That must've smarted, by the way."
"It did," Kenji confirmed. "Especially since that guy was able to use the sword instead…" He squared his jaw. "But he's not here, and I am. That… Baka nearly triggered an all-out war and disgraced the entire Triceratops tribe. I fully intend to redeem our honor by being the hero he could never have been."
He shrugged. "Other than that, there's not much to talk about. My family has been part of the Triceratops tribe for generations, I was the top of my class, and – like everyone except for Tetsu – recently made chuunin."
"And why is that?" Surprised Bae asked Tetsu, who grimaced.
I'm a member of the Ankylosaurus tribe, Tetsu signed, helpful subtitles appearing at the bottom of the screen. We are very strong, but also supposed to be very spiritual. I'm good at the first, but… Not so much at the second. I've got a… Bit of trauma that I joined the tribe to try and get over, but… So far inner peace has eluded me. The name is Tetsu Kirishima, by the way.
The words "Tetsu Kirishima: Ankylosaurus ninja" appeared at the bottom of the screen.
"I see," Bae said, sounding solemn. "I'm guessing it has something to do with your inability to talk, but I won't press further, and I hope you are able to find what you're looking for."
Tetsu gave him a faint smile. So do I.
"Which just leaves you two," Bae moved on, glancing between Sora and Mozu. "And you are…?"
"Sora Kazekiri, of the pterodactyl tribe," Sora went first, the words "Sora Kazekiri: pterodactyl ninja" appearing at the bottom of the screen. "If the Tyrannosaurus tribe are the rulers of the clan, the Triceratops are the guardians and fighters, and the Ankylosaurus our spiritual core, the Pterodactyls are the keepers of wisdom and history. We possess records dating back to long before the dawn of humanity, and pride ourselves on being scholars and researchers as well as warriors. Like Tetsu or Akira, I wasn't born into the clan; I actually used to attend a different ninja Academy when I discovered references to a clan claiming to be the origin of all ninja deep within the archives. I was able to piece together the location of this progenitor clan and embarked on a journey to their ancestral homeland, assuming I would find some old ruins and ancient texts describing long-forgotten ninja secrets which would help me outdo my academic peers." He smiled ruefully. "I didn't expect to find that the clan was not only alive and well, but was led by dinosaurs. I honestly thought they were going to kill me, but they were so impressed that I was able to find them all by myself they allowed me to join."
"And what about your previous academy?" Bae asked.
"They were led to believe I was dead," Sora answered. He hesitated, then frowned, a worried look on his face. "Which… Probably isn't true any longer… Shit, that's going to be trouble down the line."
"We'll deal with it when it comes up," Kenji assured him.
Sora nodded gratefully. "In any event, not only do I get access to knowledge and ninja lore thought lost to the ages, like Akira, I am also searching for a way to become a Shinobiryu. I've always been fascinated by the concept of flight, and if I were to become a pterodactyl, I would be able to do so under my own power, instead of needing to rely on gliders and the caprice of the winds."
"That and it would make it easier for you to be with your girlfriend," Akira joked, causing him to flush.
"Nobody needs to know that," he hissed.
"Girlfriend?" Bae inquired, immediately latching onto this line of questioning.
Tetsu is dating Petra, daughter of his tribe's leader, Pterajonin, Tetsu signed.
Bae paused. "So… Is she adopted like Akira, or…?"
"No, she… She is a pterodactyl," Sora muttered, turning red.
"… How does that even work?!"
"Life finds a way," Kenji stated, quoting Ian Malcolm. Sora facepalmed as the others chuckled.
"That it does. That it does," Bae agreed sagely. Turning to Mozu, he asked, "So that just leaves you."
Mozu nodded. "My name is Mozu Kariya, of the raptor tribe," she explained, the words "Mozu Kariya: Raptor ninja" appearing at the bottom of the screen. "Like Kenji, my family has been a part of the clan for generations. In fact, we are one of the oldest families, and can trace our bloodline back to the very beginnings of the clan, back when the first war with the Youkaliens broke out. I have a rather weighty family legacy, and I'm doing my best to live up to it."
"That must be tough," Bae said sympathetically. "I'm sure your family is proud that you're one of five heroes who will save the world, though!"
An expression of sadness briefly flickered across her face. "Unfortunately, I'm currently the last Kariya. The raptor tribe specializes in espionage and assassination, so we have the highest mortality rate. I lost my parents at an early age, and have been raised by my sensei, Raptorjonin, ever since. I… Can't really remember what they were like, but I know they would be proud of what I've become."
"I'm sure they'd be especially proud that you've managed to gain the affections of our next queen," Kenji said half-jokingly.
"Oh, you and Akira are dating?" Bae asked as Mozu turned very pink and started spouting gibberish. "That's wonderful! Is this a recent thing, or…?"
"Very recent," Akira said, blushing and glancing briefly at Mozu, who turned even pinker and nearly fainted. "We're, um, we're still figuring things out."
Bae nodded in understanding. "Ah, young love… So, Mozu, does that mean you're also going to become a Shinobiryu, or-"
"Oh look, it's the Youkaliens!" Mozu shrieked, desperately wanting to change the subject.
Indeed, Asteroibotchi was approaching, followed by a small entourage of Uchuhage. "Hello again, humans!" He called cheerfully, waving as he came over. "Good to see you again! And… It seems you have a new friend?"
Kenji nodded and extended a hand. "Kenji Keratos. I'm here to round out the team and replace… Him."
Asteroibotchi frowned warily at the blue ninja. "I see. I trust you will be nothing like that one, I hope?"
Kenji rapidly shook his head. "No, I'm here to regain the honor of my tribe and make up for the disgrace he inflicted on us."
Asteroibotchi brightened and shook Kenji's hand. "That's good to hear. I'm sure you will do your mentor proud, and not get stepped on like your predecessor."
"We really don't need to keep bring that up, especially in front of the cameras," Sora hissed.
"Yes, I wouldn't mind a little more context-" Bae began.
"And who is this little one?" Asteroibotchi asked, glancing curiously at the oversized fly.
"He's with the news," Akira explained, nodding at Bae. "He's here to report on our fight."
"Oh! Wonderful! That explains the camera," Asteroibotchi realized, waving at the camera. "Hello, Earth! There is no need to be afraid of me, I mean you no harm!"
"Other than you intending to conquer and enslave us all," Mozu commented.
Asteroibotchi nodded obliviously. "Like I said, I mean you no harm!"
"So, you're the first monster of the week our intrepid young heroes will be facing," Bae noted, buzzing around Asteroibotchi to observe him from all angles. "And certainly a lot friendlier than most!"
Akira nodded. "Yeah, the Youkaliens are like that, it's… I'm not sure if it's refreshing or unnerving."
A bit of both, Tetsu signed.
"So just who are you, big guy?" Bae asked the rock monster.
"I'm Asteroibotchi, a proud Youkalien Warrior!" Asteroibotchi declared, puffing out his stony chest as the words "Asteroibotchi: Youkalien Warrior" appeared in a box at the bottom of the screen. "I've served under General Onimusha in over a dozen campaigns and have brought much glory to the Hegemony. I started life out as a slave, but after decades of loyal and dutiful service, I earned the right to be reincarnated into the mighty form you see before you. My species are the ancestors of the Youkai you call "Daidarabotchi." I have power over meteors, but what I'm especially proud of are my hugs, which I've been told are very warm and comfortable, and I aspire to one day be able to prove this to the royal family." He spread his arms. "I don't suppose you'd like a hug?"
Bae eyed the immense, very strong, very hard extraterrestrial nervously. "I'd… Rather keep things professional, thanks."
Asteroibotchi pouted at this.
"I'll hug you," Akira volunteered.
"Wait, is that really a good idea and she's already doing it," Sora groaned as Asteroibotchi happily enveloped the red ninja in a hug.
Her eyes widened in amazement, and she leaned into the embrace. "Ancestors, this is comfortable," she moaned happily. "And so warm…"
"Thank you," Asteroibotchi told her warmly. "I'm sure this isn't quite as comfortable as when Her Divinity graced you with a cuddle – pretty much the entire Hegemony is immensely envious of you, by the way – but I'm pleased it passes muster."
Mozu was vibrating, looking like she was about to explode. "I'm her girlfriend," she hissed. "The only person she's supposed to hug is me!"
Sora rolled his eyes. "Mozu, she's a lesbian, he's not going to steal her from you."
"No, but Kyukogo might," Mozu growled. "I mean, just look at her! She's ridiculously gorgeous, has giant boobs, absurdly fluffy tails, is royalty like Akira, hell, she's more or less a goddess…"she sagged. "How am I supposed to compete with that?"
"You don't have to," Kenji reminded her. "Akira picked you, not her."
I don't know, it did seem like they were flirting before, Tetsu countered. I think there was chemistry between them. And she didn't seem particularly upset at the idea of being a member of Kyukogo's harem and having Mozu at the same time.
"I'm pretty sure Akira is poly," Sora reasoned.
"But I'm not!" Mozu grabbed. "I mean, I don't mean to sound selfish or anything, but I don't want to share her! There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"
"No, there isn't," Sora agreed. "But this sounds like something the two of you need to work out on your own."
Tetsu nodded. Yeah, your relationship drama is fun to watch, but we don't actually want to be a part of it.
Mozu rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks, guys."
"So, how is this going to go?" Akira asked Asteroibotchi when the Youkalien finally let go of her. "Is this a straight-up fight, or…?"
"The game is meteor tag!"
Everyone glanced up to see that a vessel resembling a junk ship only with thrusters, an energy sail, and other high-tech accouterments appeared overhead. The vessel was ostentatious but not gaudy in its ornaments, and Kyukogo, Nyajou, and the children were seated in a luxurious pavilion on the deck, being pampered, fed, and fanned by slaves while other members of the court looked at the city below with great interest, also attended by slaves. Kyukogo smiled, waved, and winked at Akira, who grew flustered, causing Mozu to seethe.
"Your Excellencies!" Asteroibotchi cried, getting down on one knee. "I am honored that you chose to grace us with your presence!"
"The children thought it would be more entertaining to watch the event in person rather than from the palace," the kitsune explained, looking at the three little Youkaliens in adoration, Kyuhime and Nyahime so excited they look like they were going to burst while Usatan nervously hid behind her giant ears.
"Do your best, Asteroibotchi! We're rooting for you!" Kyuhime cheered.
"You do good too, ninjas! We aren't rooting for you, since we want Asteroibotchi to win, but we hope you all have fun anyway!" Nyahime added.
Akira moaned. "Oh ancestors they're even cuter in person."
I wonder if part of the reason they've been able to conquer so many planets is because nobody wants to disappoint children so cute, Tetsu signed, enraptured.
Asteroibotchi bowed his head. "I will endeavor to do my best, little princesses! I shall not let you down!"
"Just do your best, soldier," Onimusha, standing next to the palanquin, said gruffly, folding his arms and nodding at the warrior in approval. "It doesn't matter in the long run if you lose this battle, there's many more ahead of us. Win or lose, so long as you demonstrate that you've given it your all, you'll have done us proud!"
"Thank you, General!" Asteroibotchi cried happily.
"… Wow, they really aren't like other bad guys, are they?" Bae murmured in disbelief.
Sora nodded. "It takes some getting used to, yeah."
"What was that about meteor tag?" Kenji called up at the ship.
The ship lowered a little, allowing them to see that at the edge of the deck was a low table with Bix and one of the imp magistrates seated at it, the ornate patterns on his mask and robes as well as the size of his hat making it clear he was a very big deal. "The game is simple," the imp, Chief Magistrate Shinza, explained. "Asteroibotchi will summon a meteor storm to bombard this portion of the city. Just like our initial attack last week, the meteors will be nonlethal, destroying buildings and infrastructure while teleporting any humans caught in the blast to the Orochimecha to begin their new lives as our slaves. He will receive points for each meteor that hits the ground, with extra points awarded for every human he manages to abduct, and a massive bonus will be applied to his score for every ninja he manages to defeat."
A large holographic screen appeared in the air above the junk, the word "Youkalien" written at the top over a long string of zeros.
"The Shinobiryu clan, on the other hand, will receive points for each meteor they destroy and human they save," Bix spoke up. "However, their main objective is to defeat Asteroibotchi to put a permanent end to the meteor storm. Taking him out will massively add to their score, but they must remember not to neglect the meteors, or they may lose the challenge even if they defeat him due to having too low a score. That is why Uchuhage will also be present, so they can pad out their total by gaining bonus points for each one they defeat."
A second holographic screen appeared, the word "Shinobiryu" written at the top over a long string of zeros.
"Why does she look like a human with a dinosaur head?" Bae murmured to the ninjas.
"Only one of her parents was a protoceratops Shinobiryu, the other was human," Sora replied.
"… How-"
"Life finds a way," Kenji repeated.
Bae found himself uncharacteristically speechless. "… You know, I probably don't need to know the answer to that too badly."
"Remember, all parties are to refrain from killing each other," Shinza added. "So kindly try your hardest not to hurt each other to badly. If there are any deaths on either side, the event will be canceled to evaluate whether or not it was deliberate, and, if it is ruled not to be an accident, there will be… Consequences."
"In addition, if Asteroibotchi defeats all the ninjas, the event will end, but if the ninjas defeat him instead, there will be a second round where they must battle him again as a giant monster," Bix continued. "Because let's be honest, we all know it's going to happen eventually, so there's no point acting like it's going to be a big surprise."
Bae, the ninjas, the crowd, and pretty much everyone on Earth murmured and nodded in agreement.
"Does everyone understand the rules as they have been explained?" Shinza asked.
The ninjas and Asteroibotchi nodded.
"Then transform, so we may begin," Bix squawked.
Akira glanced at her teammates. "This is it, guys. Everyone ready?"
Kenji nodded. "I've been training for what feels like my whole life for this. Let's do this."
"This will bring me one step closer to my dream," Sora murmured. "I'm ready."
Tetsu grimaced. I'm not sure I am, but… This isn't about me. This is about everyone else. I'll do what needs to be done.
"For you, I will always be ready," Mozu told the Princess devotedly.
Akira flushed at this. "Okay, then. Let's do this!"
In unison, all five ninja raised their scabbards into the air, pressing the coins set into the hilts of their swords with their thumbs.
"TYRANNOSAURUS!"
"TRICERATOPS!"
"PTERODACTYL!"
"ANKYLOSAURUS!"
"VELOCIRAPTOR!"
They swept the sheathed swords to the air a few times, performed a few hands seals, then held the weapons horizontally in front of them, one hand gripping the scabbard and the other the hilts. "Henshin!" They cried (except for Tetsu, who had to sign it).
"DI! NIN! JA! DI-NIN-NINJA!"
Akira stood atop a platform in a sea of lava, a large ninja scroll with a picture of a Tyrannosaurus on it hanging behind her. Her dinpo exploded around her, then crystallized, encasing her in red Amber. The interlocking gears on the blade and scabbard started spinning and the coin on her sword flashed once, twice, five times, and suddenly the Amber shattered as she drew the sword from the scabbard, revealing she was now wearing a very form-fitting tunic vaguely resembling a red Shinobi shozoku covered in scale patterns with black accents over her torso, a black undersuit also covered in scales over her arms and legs, and red gloves and boots, also scaled. A black sash with a fiercely roaring Tyrannosaurus done up in red crossed her chest diagonally. The tips of her gloves and boots were clawed, and she had gold shoulder pads with Tyrannosaurus teeth carved into them. In a flash of light, her head was covered in a red helmet crossed with a ninja mask resembling a Tyrannosaurus, with a jagged black visor emulating its mouth and metal feathers growing from where the ears would have been. Without warning, the back of her helmet exploded, and her long flowing hair burst out to hang down her back, burning brightly like a crimson flame.
As the lava erupted around her and the Tyrannosaurus on the scroll came to life and started roaring, Akira slashed her blade through the air, proclaiming, "The True Queen roars, and all kneel in supplication to her Majesty! The Royal Shinobi, TyrannoNinja!"
Kenji stood atop an island in a large pool of water, a large ninja scroll with a picture of a Triceratops on it hanging behind him. His dinpo exploded around him, then crystallized, encasing him in blue Amber. The interlocking gears on the blade and scabbard started spinning and the coin on his sword flashed once, twice, five times, and suddenly the Amber shattered as he drew the sword from the scabbard, revealing he was now wearing amuscularform-fitting tunic vaguely resembling a blue Shinobi shozoku covered in scale patterns with black accents over his torso, a black undersuit also covered in scales over his arms and legs, with blue gloves and boots, and scaled. A black sash with a fiercely roaring Triceratops done up in blue crossed his chest diagonally. The tips of his gloves and boots had nails like a Triceratops, and he had gold shoulder pads with Triceratops horns carved into them. In a flash of light, his head was covered in a blue helmet crossed with a ninja mask resembling a Triceratops, with small horns and an angular black visor emulating its mouth and a small ridge growing around the back resembling a Triceratops' frill.
As the water surged around him and the Triceratops on the scroll came to life and started bellowing, Kenji slashed his blade through the air, proclaiming, "When the horned Defender charges, all must yield or be trampled beneath his feet! The Guarding Shinobi, TriceraNinja!"
Sora stood atop a mountain in a sea of clouds, a large ninja scroll with a picture of a pterodactyl on it hanging behind him. His dinpo exploded around him, then crystallized, encasing him in yellow Amber. The interlocking gears on the blade and scabbard started spinning and the coin on his sword flashed once, twice, five times, and suddenly the Amber shattered as he drew the sword from the scabbard, revealing he was now wearing a slender form-fitting tunic vaguely resembling a yellow Shinobi shozoku covered in scale patterns with black accents over his torso, a black undersuit also covered in scales over his arms and legs, and yellow gloves and boots, also scaled. A black sash with a fiercely roaring pterodactyl done up in yellow crossed his chest diagonally. The tips of his gloves and boots had talons like a pterodactyl, and he had gold shoulder pads with pterodactyl wings carved into them. Membranes resembling pterodactyl wings hung from his wrists to his waist. In a flash of light, his head was covered in a yellow helmet crossed with a ninja mask resembling a pterodactyl, with a bony crest angling backwards and an angular black visor emulating its beak.
As the wind howled around him and the pterodactyl on the scroll came to life and started shrieking, Sora slashed his blade through the air, proclaiming, "When the winged Scholar rises into the heavens, no knowledge is beyond his grasp! The Soaring Shinobi, PteraNinja!"
Tetsu stood atop a boulder in a vast field of stones, a large ninja scroll with a picture of a Ankylosaurus on it hanging behind him. His dinpo exploded around him, then crystallized, encasing him in green Amber. The interlocking gears on the blade and scabbard started spinning and the coin on his sword flashed once, twice, five times, and suddenly the Amber shattered as he drew the sword from the scabbard, revealing he was now wearing a bulky form-fitting tunic vaguely resembling a green Shinobi shozoku covered in scale patterns with black accents over his torso, a black undersuit also covered in scales over his arms and legs, and green gloves and boots, also scaled. A black sash with a fiercely roaring Ankylosaurus done up in green crossed his chest diagonally. The tips of his gloves and boots had nails like an Ankylosaurus, and he had gold spiked shoulder pads resembling an Ankylosaurus shell, with similar spikes growing from the sides of his arms and legs. In a flash of light, his head was covered in a green helmet crossed with a ninja mask resembling an Ankylosaurus, with thick plating, a pair of short horns growing from the sides of his head, and a wide black visor emulating its mouth.
As the earth trembled around him and the Ankylosaurus on the scroll came to life and started bellowing, Tetsu slashed his blade through the air, signing, When the humble Sage achieves nirvana, nothing can disrupt his spirit! The Unbreakable Shinobi, AnkyloNinja!
Mozu stood atop a tree stump surrounded by cherry blossom trees, a large ninja scroll with a picture of a raptor on it hanging behind her. Her dinpo exploded around her, then crystallized, encasing her in pink Amber. The interlocking gears on the blade and scabbard started spinning and the coin on her sword flashed once, twice, five times, and suddenly the Amber shattered as she drew the sword from the scabbard, revealing she was now wearing a sleek, form-fitting tunic vaguely resembling a pink Shinobi shozoku covered in scale patterns with black accents over her torso along with a very short miniskirt, a black undersuit also covered in scales over her arms and legs, and pink gloves and boots, also scaled. A black sash with a fiercely roaring velociraptor done up in pink crossed her chest diagonally. The tips of her gloves and boots had claws like a raptor, with her boots having the infamous sickle claw, and she had gold shoulder pads carved with raptor fangs. In a flash of light, her head was covered in a pink helmet crossed with a ninja mask resembling a raptor, with a jagged black visor emulating its mouth and metal feathers growing from where the ears would've been.
As the cherry blossoms billowed around her and the raptor on the scroll came to life and started screeching, Mozu slashed her blade through the air, declaring, "When the warrior maiden opens her heart, the purity of her love makes her unstoppable! The Heartful Shinobi, RaptorNinja!"
As the backdrops vanished, the five ninjas briefly crossed their swords. "We are the warriors of shadow who protect the light, bringing the prehistoric power of the ancient world into a new era!" Akira declared. "Shinobiryu Sentai…"
"DININGER!" They cried, striking a pose as color-coded explosions erupted behind them, the flames briefly forming into the images of their respective dinosaurs roaring.
"We are the ninjas who will never go extinct!" Akira cried.
Based sniffed and wiped away a tear. "Ah, that brings me back."
Quite a few of the bystanders applauded, including the Youkaliens. "Wow, that was really cool!" Asteroibotchi gushed. "Did you guys practice that?"
"Actually, yeah," Sora admitted. "It took us a while to get the timing right."
"I kept getting freaked out by the explosions," Mozu confessed.
I got tinnitus, Tetsu signed.
"Well, it was a marvelous display, all the same!" Kyukogo assured the ninjas.
"That was so cool, Mama!" Kyuhime squealed.
"Do you think they can do that sort of thing for us once they're our slaves?" Nyahime asked hopefully.
"I don't see why not," Nyajou remarked. "Having a team of super-powered ninjas on our side would certainly make future conquests a lot easier, not to mention fun to watch."
"You're going to need to actually enslave us first," Akira pointed out. "And we're certainly not going to make it easy for you!"
Kyukogo smiled happily. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She glanced at Bix and Shinza. "Judges? Shall we begin?"
Shinza nodded. "As you wish, my lady!" He glanced down at the warriors below. "Heroes of Earth! Proud Youkalien warriors! The time has come to begin this, the first contest in the year-long battle between the Shinobiryu clan and the Youkalien Star Hegemony!"
He raised a folded fan. "When this fan drops, let the battle commence! Three…"
The ninjas got into a battle stance.
"Two…"
The Youkaliens crouched, preparing to spring into combat.
"One…"
Bae quickly flew away to get a better vantage point, his cameraman rushing after him. The princesses were bouncing up and down giddily, squeezing a rather red Usatan between them.
The fan dropped.
"BEGIN!"
And so it began.