A/N: Honestly, this is a little sad too, mostly because I can't think of happy stuff right now. Please feel free to leave a review and if you can, I'd love me some happy Calzona ideas to write about.

Looking (out) for her

I fished out my watch that I had put in my lab coat before my surgery and looked at it, the watch that Arizona had given me for my thirty-sixth birthday, back when we were still together, when we were still married, before she cheated on me or even before she got on that goddamn plane. It had a black leather strap but the dial was silver in color with a touch of rose gold to it. It was like the perfect combination of mine and Arizona's style.

It was 6:28? Shit! I need to… I need to go or I'll miss it. I quickly finished scrubbing out and dried my hands on one of the towels before I fastened my watch on my hands, grabbed my lab coat and maybe my way out.

I can't… I cannot miss it.

I pull my scrub cap off and stuff it in my coat as I try my best to make it. I don't even care about the braids that I had put in my hair to keep it out of the way during surgeries. I was a freaking doctor. I didn't have time to free my hair between surgeries. I finally came to a halt before I checked the time again

6:32

Okay, I still had time! I didn't miss it! I hope I didn't miss it. I leaned over the railings of the sky walk as I looked out. What has my life become? When did I become this whiny person, who…

"Dr. Torres?" I heard someone calling me, but I didn't turn.

Whatever it was it could certainly wait for a could of more minutes and it wasn't like a 9-1-1 page so whatever it was, it wasn't an emergency. But this was… me bring here was and I wasn't going to look away because someone wanted a consult or something.

"Dr. Torres, it's Dr. Robbins" that got my attention.

I turned to see what was wrong. Alex was standing next to me with a worried expression on his face.

"What is it Karev?" I asked.

"It's about Dr. Herman. Robbins is taking it pretty hard, she needs-" I cut him off before he could finish.

"That's not my job anymore" I said as I turned back. I did not want to miss it and I did not want to miss it because of Karev. "I… I can't be that person for her"

There! There it was. I smiled as I looked ahead and crossed my arms on the railing as I leaned my head on my arms. I knew that I was smiling. I couldn't help myself.

I can feel Alex's eyes on me. "She needs you and from what I can see, you aren't doing anything important but staring at the freaking sky. I'm not saying sleep with her, but at least go talk to her!"

"Karev, what I'm doing right now is none of your business" I replied.

"You think we don't know that for the past month or so you run to the skywalk everyday at the same freaking time and stand here, on this very spot for a solid ten minutes just staring at the sky" Alex says as he leans beside me trying to stare me down. "It's been driving Robbins crazy which has been driving me crazy because she drags me here to see what you have been doing for those ten minutes"

I didn't know that Arizona knew about this. But I know for a fact that she doesn't know what I was doing here. Honestly, it makes me feel a little relieved that me just staring at the sky has been driving her insane. Insane enough to rope Karev in.

"Chop chop. Let's go Torres"

"Five more minutes," I asked, still looking up at the sky. Karev quietly stands beside me. I respect him for that. I respect that he didn't ask me any more questions and just let me be. After a few minutes passed by I turned to look at him. He was looking at his phone.

"It's her eyes" I whispered.

"What?"

"Her eyes" I repeated as I turned towards the window and point at the sky "Here look"

"What am I looking at exactly?" Karev asked as his demeanor went from patient to restless.

"At around 6:36 pm, the sky gets this district shade of blue that's the exact color of her eyes" I said as I watched the final touches of slowly blue disappearing from the sky.

"What?" Alex asked again.

I sighed. It was difficult admitting this to another person, it was like a secret that I was holding onto for someone and I couldn't let go of it no matter what which made me want to scream it to the whole wide world

"I was just finishing up on surgery and going to check up on one of my patients when I noticed it first" I waited for Alex to scoff or tease me about it or say something at least, but he remained quiet. "It's not like it's close, it's the exact same shade" I said.

"So, you like to stand here and watch the sky?"

"It's the only way I can look at her eyes unapologetically and not have mine express how I truly feel" I admitted.

"She's hurting too, you know," he admitted.

I looked at the sky one last time before I turned to him as the sky settled into a deep navy colour "I know, but I don't want her too" I said. It was true. She had been through enough and if I could, I'd take all of her pain away, but I can't at least not without losing my mind in the process.

"Cal-"

"No, you don't have to stick up for her. We are past that point Alex"

"But you are hurting too," Alex said.

I didn't realize the meat head had grown a heart. Arizona was good for him. She almost taught him to be a decent human being.

"Every damn second" I admitted.

"What happened to you guys when did you stop talking?"

"Somewhere between Africa and the plane crash… I don't even know anymore" I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream at god forgoing this to me. To do this to us. But I couldn't. I had to be strong. I don't get to cry. Even though I lost my best friend, I almost lost my wife, I have to be the strong one. I don't get to be upset.

"Hey come here" Alex hugs me. Honestly, he and I were never that close but I have to say that this feels nice. I took a deep breath as I tried to gather myself but big heavy tears started making their way down my face faster than I could reach up and wipe them away. Never have I felt so alone in my life.

"I'm sorry Alex I didn't mean to break down on you" I apologized. Alex was not my person.

For the longest of times Mark was my person and then eventually, I had no one. "You were there when I was scared shitless, glad I could be a shoulder to cry on"

I was confused, when did that happen?

"When?" I asked.

"Heart in the elevator"

Oh yeah! He pretended to be someone he was not just so he could get a hot surgery to perform "Heart in the elevator!" I whacked Alex on his arm as something else came to my mind "I thought we were sworn to secrecy about it"

We celebrated that night, like really celebrated and I asked him not to tell anyone. But clearly he told Arizona about it.

"We are"

"But you told Arizona!" I accused him.

"I thought you did!"

"What?"

"She kept me out of good cases for a solid month! Every time I walked into the room, she told me to take cover because she was loading up on bricks to hit me with" I smiled. I was familiar with her green monster and her weapon of choice. "You should… she really needs you right now"

"I don't think- " I started.

"No, she doesn't need the wife version of you but the 'I did this before' version of you"

"What is the 'I did this' version?" I asked.

"Arizona's going to have to make the call to switch off life support and it's freaking her out. She was trying to be calm, but I know her too well."

"She wouldn't-"

"Hermon gave her twenty-four hours. If there were no improvement-"

"But this was surgery, she wasn't battling a life or death situation where her leg had to be cut of or had chest injuries so bad that only-"

"She made Robbins her medical proxy and that's what it states"

That's crazy. It's extremely difficult to make this decision for anyone. Your best friend, your wife or even your mentor. She shouldn't have to do this!

"Arizona shouldn't have to do this, isn't there Hermon's family who can make the call?"

"Nope, maybe an ex-husband, but I doubt he knows about the surgery otherwise that bastard should have been here"

"This is wrong, why did she force herself on Arizona to make such a tough decision on her"

"Robbins is tough she can handle it"

"I know she can, but she doesn't have too"

"Callie, you had to do the same for Mark and you were literally planning treatment options for Derek, heading your own department, looking after your daughter and taking Robbins' abuse. "

I looked away. I didn't know that everyone knew so intimately about my personal life.

"She wasn't abusive" I said but I couldn't maintain eye contact.

"We both know that you don't want to bad mouth her, but she was my mentor, she still is. I know how she gets."

I nodded, not knowing what else to say.

Both Alex and I were quiet for a moment before he broke the silence "You get your fix?"

"What?"

"Of the sky? Of her eyes?"

"I could never get my fix, but I guess it's enough for now. Where is she?" I asked. We weren't friends really, but if she needed someone, I didn't want her to be alone. Not right now when she had such a huge responsibility in her hands.

"In the on-call room that she and Hermon were staying in"

"The one on the second floor, next to the attendings lounge?" yes, I might have kept tabs on her. She was my wife, I love her… um loved her. I needed to know that she was okay.

"That's the one" Alex replied before he walked off leaving me all by myself.

"Callie?" I heard Karev calling me.

I turned around. "Thanks for… you know being there for her. I know you guys aren't cool with each other, but this means a lot to me"

"I'm glad she has you Karev, but I swear to god if you tell her about the skywalk thing, I'll be stocking up on something much more dangerous that bricks"

A/N: So… What do you think about this one? As always please feel free to leave a review.

I know it was a little rushed but I had this idea and I had to write it down even though I have like a billion things going on right now. I knew that if I waited to finish this it would slip out of my mind and would be as great as I once envisioned it.

I don't think this was as sad as the ones I wrote before, but yeah it was a little sad.

Also, I was thinking about putting an index as the first chapter, because all of these stories are one-shots so if you want to read one particular one. I want a page that tells you which chapter to look at.

This idea was born when I was desperately trying to find a ficlet in the sea of one-shots and by the by I still haven't found it. Maybe you guys can help?

I want that story where Callie is spending the night at Mark's when she hears Arizona screaming through the baby monitor and goes to her room to comfort her. This is when they weren't talking to each other and Arizona was abusive. Callie soothes her and leaves but accidently drops the baby monitor which is how Arizona finds out that Callie had been there with her.

Again, please review, it helps me know what I can do better!