Chapter 06
I nibble at my lip, my hands clenched together in my lap as I glance around the waiting room. I'm the only person in here, as Dr. Greene runs her own private practice. The waiting room is quaint with a few cushioned chairs sitting on the deep purple carpet, pushed up against cream-colored walls. The receptionist sits at her desk in the back corner of the room, focused on whatever task she's completing on her computer. Soft instrumental music plays throughout the room, providing a sense of relaxation into the atmosphere.
"Bella," a familiar voice calls me softly. I glance over at Dr. Greene as she stands at her now opened office door. Standing, I offer her a small smile and start walking across the small room.
"It's good to see you again," she greets, moving to the side so I can walk into her office.
"Yeah, it's nice to see you, too," I mumble awkwardly as I take in the familiar office. In the far left corner of the room sits her desk, but she doesn't normally sit there while she's with me, or any client, I imagine. Instead, there's a set-up of two beige armchairs and a brown leather couch in the center of the room. A glass and gold framed coffee table separates the couch and the chairs from each other. The chairs are angled slightly towards each other so it can be easy to talk if we both sit in them. I tend to sit on the couch so I can pull my feet up beneath me. Being curled up on the couch helps me feel a bit more secure in my being here and talking about my past.
I head over to my usual spot on the couch, slipping my feet out of my heels and curling up as comfortably as I can I this environment. The familiar scent of essential oils wafts through the air. It's a complicated mixture I haven't been able to successfully recreate, but I pick up notes of lavender, orange, and patchouli. I inhale deeply, willing the oils to help relieve my anxiety.
"How have you been? It's been about a month since I've seen you last," Dr. Greene asks as she situates herself in one of the armchairs. I look over at her as she crosses one leg over the other, leaning her weight onto an elbow, a notebook propped on her lap. She's a small woman, around my height with long dark hair that's pulled back into a bun at the top of the back of her head. If she's wearing makeup, it's minimal, just enough to enhance her natural beauty. Her loose light grey sweater contrasts her black skinny dress pants.
"I've been okay," I say, breathing deep. "A little less so this past week than the last several, but I'm working through it," I add on, nodding.
"What's changed this past week?" she asks. Her tone is always very calm and warm, which I guess is part of what makes her a good therapist. You feel like you can tell her anything when she asks a question. She doesn't have to work hard to pry information from you because her tone does all the work for her.
"James was released from jail last Friday," I explain, dropping my gaze to my lap. I know our relationship and the outcome of it is why I'm in therapy to begin with, but that doesn't help the uncomfortable knot I feel in my stomach whenever I talk about him. It's just hard to know I was in love with this man at one point. There was a point in time where I justified everything he did and I was never going to leave him. I knew him after all. My James was gentle and kind and the James I experienced towards the end wasn't him but I was willing to wait for him to show up again. If I hadn't ended up in the hospital, I'm sure I would still be with him, pretending everything was okay. I shudder at the thought.
"And how have you been working through it?" she asks. I take a moment to think about how to answer.
"I've been surrounding myself with family," I admit. "I went to Rose and Emmett's for dinner last Friday and focused on that the whole day in order to keep myself from thinking about James. And when I'm home, I'm with Jasper. There's really not much time that goes by where I'm actually alone."
"How is your family reacting to supporting you like this? Are they offering the support with open arms or are they a bit hesitant?"
"They've been more than supportive, I think. At least, that's what they're showing me. I still go to Mom and Dad's on Wednesdays for dinner and Jasper has been more than willing to spend time with me, as long as I put up with his basketball obsession," I explain with a slight laugh. "I'm nervous about next week, though, with it being spring break," I confess.
"Is that because you won't be at the school during the day?" she asks.
"That and Rose and Emmett are going away for the week. They've been trying to get out of town for a bit of a vacation for months now and they finally found the time to do it. Jasper is going to be at work all day, too. This is going to be the first time I'm going to actually be alone for more than an hour or two since everything happened." This fact has been bothering me this whole week and it feels really good to get it off my chest. This isn't something I would confide in Rose because I don't want her to feel guilty about leaving town for a week. She deserves the time away, as does Emmett. They don't need to be worrying about me and I don't want to burden them by bringing up my anxieties.
"How do you think you can spend your time alone so you don't feel so anxious?" she asks.
"I'll probably tweak some lesson plans," I shrug. "And I have some things I'd like to get done in my classroom so I may go there, too. The building is locked so no one is able to get in without a key. It feels more secure there than at home, I guess."
"Those are some good ideas. Is there anything else you could plan for the break?"
"I am going to Port Angeles with a friend sometime during the week," I throw out. She smiles at me, knowing I haven't really had any friends outside my family in a while.
"Tell me about this friend," she says. "I want to focus on this friendship for a few minutes."
"His name is Edward. He trains with Emmett and I met him through Emmett. He was at the dinner at Rose's last Friday." I stop and breathe deep, trying to think about what to tell her. "He's really kind and, I don't know, I'm comfortable around him. There's this, like, feeling I get with him that's addicting and comforting and just plain calming. I can actually feel my anxieties dull when I'm with him. I've flinched away from him a few times, though, when I wasn't expecting him to touch me, but other than that, I'm really comfortable with him."
"How did he react to you flinching away from him?" She pauses what she's writing in her notebook to look at me.
"He was apologetic but I've always told him it's okay. It's not like he's meaning to do it. The first time, he was grabbing sugar from my hand as a joke to stop me from putting a ton in my coffee. I flinched away from him yesterday when he tried to help me out of my truck. I just wasn't expecting it," I explain, ending with a shrug.
"Does he know?" She doesn't elaborate on what she's wondering he knows, but she doesn't need to. There's only one thing she would ask about him knowing. I nod in response, looking up at her. She waits patiently for me to talk about it.
"I woke up from a nightmare early Saturday morning and went down to the diner for breakfast because I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. He came in and ended up joining me for breakfast. He noticed that I kept looking up at the door every time it opened and then my dad came in and questioned me about why I was there so early. I could tell Edward was curious but he wasn't going to ask. I surprised myself by telling him, but that just shows you how comfortable I am with him."
"Have you thought about why that might be?"
"I have and I haven't come up with anything other than maybe just because he's so kind and patient? I don't know," I admit, biting my lip. She lets the silence hang as I process my thoughts for a moment. "I think I have feelings for him," I say, processing the thought as I do. Yeah, I've thought about being attracted to him before right now but I've never thought about the idea that I could have actual feelings for him. "It's too soon, though, right? Like, I just got out of my marriage. I'm not even technically divorced yet. I shouldn't be feeling these things for another man so soon." I can feel myself getting flustered as I ramble on and force myself to stop, swallowing thickly.
"It's perfectly normal to move on, Bella. There's no set time a person has to wait after ending a relationship, no matter how serious that relationship was," Dr. Greene consoles with a supportive smile.
"It just kind of scares me, I guess," I mumble, shrugging. "I'm still not fully recovered from my marriage and here I am falling for someone new. I just don't want to rush into anything and end up even more hurt."
"You are allowed to take your new relationship past the friendship level as slowly or as quickly as you want. Or you don't have to take it past that level ever if that's what you decide, too. The only person that can decide what the right answer to this situation is, is you. Really think about how you're feeling, mentally and emotionally, and proceed with how you see fit." I look up at Dr. Greene and nod.
"I don't feel the hurt when I'm with him. It's like he's some kind of relief and it's just so refreshing to not have to feel the pain and the anxiety James left me with. And it's easy to tell that he's being genuine when I'm with him. Things are just, I don't know, easy, when I'm with him."
"I want you to think about these feelings this week and how you're embracing them. We'll discuss it a little further when you come back next week." With that, she closes her notebook, giving me a smile. "It was nice to see you back here," she says as she stands. I stand and smile at her.
"Thank you," I say as we walk towards the door. She opens it for me and I make my way out after a brief goodbye. I leave the building, getting into my truck and leaning back against the seat. I take a deep breath, noticing that I don't feel as drained as I normally do after a session. That could also be because we didn't talk much about James this time around, which I'm actually glad about.
I turn the key in the ignition, my truck roaring awake, and start my short trek home, Billy Joel singing the melody of Big Shot to me as I go.
EPOV
I take a deep breath as I take my helmet off and dismount my bike. Bella's home safe with Jasper so I have a few minutes to be able to speak to Chief in person. I normally wouldn't stray from my assignment like this but I know she's not going to be going anywhere. Chief says Bella is normally exhausted after a therapy session and spends the rest of the day lazing around the house so I feel secure in the fact of leaving her with Jasper for a bit.
I enter the station, making my way towards Chief's door. I knock on the open door, waiting for him to look up at me before walking inside.
"What're you doing here?" he asks, a bit surprised.
"Bella's at home with Jasper and you said she doesn't normally leave after a session. I need to talk to you."
"What is it?" he asks, making eye contact with me so I know I have his full attention.
"I can't keep doing this. You know this is going to hurt Bella when she finds out, right?" I confess, irritation clear in my voice. His eyes harden into a glare, the corners of his mouth turning down.
"That's not your call to make, Cullen," he practically barks. "If you think you're going to end up hurting her, then back off on the friendship but you're not giving up this assignment. Not until I know for sure that James isn't a threat."
"I can be her friend and have her know I'm an officer," I throw out, crossing my arms. "She doesn't have to be in the dark about my job."
"Yes, she does. She's not going to let you anywhere near her once she knows you're working for me. I've known Bella twenty-seven years longer than you; I know how she works."
"You should also know that she doesn't deserve someone coming in and lying to her daily, then." I know I shouldn't be getting an attitude with my boss but this assignment is really beginning to frustrate me. I don't let on about how I'm starting to develop feelings for her, either. That wouldn't be smart in the least. Hey, Chief, remember that apple crisp your daughter and I made together for dessert yesterday? Yeah, well, I almost kissed her after making it. And I want to actually kiss her again and again. Like he'd leave my bullet-free after that.
"You're toeing a very fine line here, Cullen. I gave you this assignment because I trusted you would be able to fulfill it. Don't make me regret it," he says dismissively. I set my jaw before walking away. I need to clear my head but all I can think about is Bella and how much she's going to be hurt from being my friend. Her words about believing James' lies for so long circulate through my mind. I'm no better than James if I'm just going to lie to her daily.
As I'm getting back on my bike, I get a text from Jasper asking if I want to watch the game. I frown at the text, thinking about how I'm going to be hurting more than just Bella with this lie. Sure, Bella's probably going to be hurt the worst out of all of them, but all of her siblings are going to feel just as betrayed. It's tempting to go to Jasper's for the game and have a few beers in hopes it'll help me unwind, but for some reason, I feel I need to stay away for now. Chief's advice of distancing myself seems to be the best option for right now. If I don't get too close to them, I can't hurt them too much, right?
Glancing at my phone, I see that it's almost time for the night shift to take over the lookout on Bella's house anyways. I text Jasper back, letting him know I can't make it tonight before I slide my phone into my pocket. I pull my helmet onto my head before starting my bike and heading towards Alice's. She doesn't normally need me to let her know before coming over so I don't bother giving her a heads up.
I park my bike in her driveway before making my way up her porch steps, knocking as I walk inside.
"Al?" I call as I make my way inside. I hear an excited commotion and Riley's voice saying my name before Alice's stern tone stops him.
"In the kitchen," she calls to me. I walk into the kitchen to find Riley sitting on his knees in a chair at the table, grinning excitedly over at me. Alice is at the counter, cleaning dishes from their dinner.
"Whatcha eating, Ri?" I ask before leaning down to kiss his cheek.
"Mac'n cheese!" he grins happily. I ruffle his hair as I straighten up, turning to Alice.
"Hey," I say lamely.
"Hey," she mimics, pulling her eyebrows together. "You alright? You seem a bit high-strung." This is one of the things about my relationship with Alice that is both annoying and helpful. Seeing as it was just us two kids in our family growing up, we know each other's mannerisms like they're our own. We can pretty much tell how the other is feeling with just one look their way. I'm appreciative of her concern, but it brings up the frustration I have again. Sighing, I drop down into a chair next to Riley.
"I talked to Chief about this assignment. I told him I don't want to do it anymore and that I think it's a bad idea."
"I take it he didn't like that very much," she assumes, pursing her lips.
"Not at all," I shake my head. "I brought up how this is going to end up hurting Bella and he told me that's not my call to make. It won't even just be Bella, though. It'll be Emmett, Jasper, and Rose affected by this too. I'm getting to be friends with this whole family and I have no choice but to lie to them about who I am." Alice shakes her head, not knowing what to say, and I don't blame her. I wouldn't know what to say either. There isn't really much to say that can make this better.
"I think the worst part of this all is that Bella put her trust in me so easily and I'm just going to end up throwing it back in her face at some point." Crossing my arms over my chest, I glance down at Riley. He watches me curiously so I give him the best smile I can muster. Satisfied with the smile, he gives me a toothy grin and goes back to eating his dinner.
"I'm taking Bella to Port Angeles sometime this weekend or next week to look for that thing we talked about," I say, nodding my head towards Riley so she gets the hint.
"You're taking Bella?" she asks, quirking a curious eyebrow. "You sure that's a good idea?"
"If I don't take her, I won't be able to go check it out before I buy it. I want to make sure it's a good size to last awhile and I don't want to have to deal with shipping it to my house and then shipping it back if it's not right," I explain. "Chief suggested I distance myself a bit, which I'm going to, but this is unavoidable. He's already signed off on me taking her and she's already agreed to it."
"Just be careful, Edward," she warns, frowning a bit. "You seem to really care about her."
"She's my friend. Just like she was supposed to be," I retort. Alice gives me a look, showing me she sees right through my bullshit. "Okay, so, I do care about her," I shrug. She continues looking at me with same expression. "I almost kissed her yesterday," I confess. Riley looks back over at me.
"Girls have cooties, Riley, don't forget that," I tell him, smiling.
"Don't teach him that!" Alice groans.
"Cooties," Riley grins at me. I grin back at him before looking at Alice's disapproving glare and do my best to hide my humor.
"What do you mean you almost kissed her?" she asks, going back to our conversation.
"Exactly that," I deadpan.
"You can't just tell me you almost kissed her and not explain the background to it," she argues, rolling her eyes.
"I went over to her house to help her bake an apple crisp," I start but Alice cuts me off.
"You don't bake. You can't bake," she throws out.
"Thanks Al, I know," I say pointedly. "We were cleaning the dishes afterwards and she made a comment about how her ex would've never helped her with it and I told her she deserved better and I, just, wanted to show her I was better," I shrug. "It kind of just happened out of nowhere."
"And now you're going to be alone with her in a car for an hour each way when you go to Port Angeles," she points out. "Does the chief know about the almost kiss?"
"Are you insane? No, he doesn't know. Unless Bella told him, that is, but I can't see her doing that. And I haven't gotten a phone call from him about it so I'm taking that as a no." Alice stares at me for a moment, lost in thought.
"I want to meet her," she finally says. Well, that's not what I was expecting. I'm not sure what I was expecting but it definitely wasn't this.
"Al," I frown. "I don't want you to have to lie to her, too."
"Think about it this way, Edward. Yes, I'll also be lying to her, but I also know what you've been telling me about not wanting to be on this assignment. I could help diminish the explosion that's bound to happen when one of them finds out," she reasons. I sigh, looking down at Riley as he fishes his spoon around his bowl to get the last few noodles.
"Fine, I'll bring her over sometime during her break." When I look back up at Alice, she's grinning. Alice doesn't have many friends in Forks. She still keeps in contact with some of our old high school friends in La Push, but it's not like they're flocking over to hang out with her and she's not making the effort either. I can tell she gets a bit lonely with just her and Riley, so I'm not all that upset about introducing Bella to her. I kind of hope she and Bella become good friends.
"Done, Mama!" Riley grins as he stands on his chair. I grab his bowl and take it to the sink before getting a paper towel and wetting it. It's crazy how much food one child can accumulate on their cheeks when eating. Riley has cheese sauce covering about seventy percent of his face, even managing to get a bit on his forehead. It's not like he's shoving his face in his bowl, but he somehow manages to get his food everywhere. I walk over to where he's sitting and gently pull his head back so he's looking up at me. I start to wipe the cheese sauce away and he opens his mouth, sticking his tongue out to try to drink the water on the paper towel.
"Put your tongue away," I chuckle, scrunching my nose. "That's gross." He laughs and doesn't even make an effort to put his tongue back in his mouth. Shaking my head, I finish cleaning his face before throwing away the paper towel.
"Ri, go get ready for bath time," Alice says as she motions towards the stairs. He jumps down from the chair and heads for the stairs, stopping to look back at me before leaving the kitchen.
"Come on, Uncle Eddie!" he says, holding out his hand.
"I'll see you this weekend, okay, Buddy? I have to get going home," I smile at him. His bottom lip juts out in a pout and I can sense a temper tantrum coming on. Not wanting to witness one of his screaming fits, I quickly make my way over and scoop him up. "How about I take you for some ice cream this weekend?" I ask. I know bribery isn't the best method but I'm his uncle, so I can. His pout turns into a smile quickly and he nods happily. I grin back at him and set him on his feet. "Go get ready for your bath and I'll see you this weekend." Riley bounds up the stairs, using both his hands and feet to carry him.
I walk back the few feet to the kitchen where Alice is loading the dishwasher.
"I'm going to head out. Thanks for the chat." She turns to me, closing the dishwasher, to give me her full attention.
"Just be careful, alright?" she asks warily. I nod. "See if Bella wants to come to ice cream this weekend. It'll be nice to meet her and it may make her more comfortable to meet me in public than to have her come meet me at one of our houses."
"I'll ask her," I nod. "See you later, Al," I smile before leaving as she calls out her goodbye.
BPOV
It's nice to be able to come to work wearing yoga pants and a baggy shirt. I don't mind having to dress nice for work but it definitely felt amazing to get up on a Friday and not have to put on heels or a dressy shirt. Hell, I could've come in without a bra if I really wanted to, but I'm not so sure the other teachers would've appreciated that.
I prop my feet up on my desk, situating my laptop in my lap as I start to enter grades into the system. I've finally finished grading all of my exams, which wouldn't have taken as long as it did if I hadn't included an essay for the final question. It's a good method of seeing just how much my students have comprehended from the semester, but it also makes grading take so much longer to finish. Luckily, we have a machine that grades the multiple-choice forms, but even that takes awhile with having three different exam booklets to program into the system. Plus, add in the fact that we have one machine for every teacher to use and it takes even longer.
Thankfully, though, it doesn't take me too long to enter in the grades before I'm finished. Checking my watch, I see it's already halfway through the day. Most of the teachers would be gone by now, if not all of them. That's another nice thing about not having any students today. Once we finish getting the grades in, we don't technically have to be here. I choose to stay, though, because my classroom needs some tending to. I don't typically have time to give my classroom a good deep clean during the semester so I'm planning on doing that today. It also helps that I don't want to leave and go home to an empty house.
I walk over to the cupboard I keep the cleaning supplies in and get to work, playing some music on my phone as I do. The amount of writing I find on the desks is atrocious. The worst part is I've never even seen any students write on them. Some of the writing makes it obvious who the culprit is, though. JSxFR. Real smooth seeing as I have a student with the initials of JS in my third period. I make a mental note to keep a closer eye on her after break.
Once the desktops are completely clean, I grab my portable vacuum and start tackling the floor. Once I make a sweep through the whole room, I sprinkle some borax powder on my carpeted area. While I let it sit, I get to work on organizing my desk. With how hectic things get during the semester, I never really have time to sit down and keep my desk fully organized. I have random papers stuffed in drawers and countless pens on top of the desk while their caps are distributed throughout the drawers.
As I'm sifting through a drawer, the music on my phone is replaced by my ringtone. Distractedly, I pick it up, answering the call while keeping my attention on my drawer.
"Hello?" I answer. I wait for a response but am met with near silence. I can hear something on the other side of the line, though, but I can't quite make out what it is. "Hello?" I say again, thinking I may have said it too quickly as I answered the call. No one answers me but the noise in the background of the call becomes louder. My heart skips a beat and my throat constricts when I realize what I'm hearing.
When I see you smile, I can face the world.
It's the song James and I had our first dance to at our wedding. The music is still faint enough to where it's a background sound but it's the only sound I can hear.
Oh, oh, you know I can do anything. When I see you smile, I see a ray of light.
"James," I croak out, hating how weak I sound.
Oh, oh, I see it shining right through the rain. When I see you smile, oh yeah, baby when I see you smile at me.
After the chorus finishes, the line goes dead and I'm left clutching my phone to my ear. As I stare at a pen on my desk, I take in deep breaths, trying to keep my breathing slow and even to fight off the panic that's rising in my chest. I changed my number after that night. How did he manage to get this one?
Once I'm sure I'm not going to fall into a panic attack, I call Dad. It doesn't take more than two rings for him to answer.
"Hey, Bells, what's up?" he answers.
"James called me," I state, my voice nothing more than a whisper. The hair on my arms raises, bumps raising on the flesh once I say it.
"What?" Dad basically roars through the phone. I cringe a bit and pull the phone away from my ear.
"He didn't say anything but I know it was him," I mumble. "Our song was playing, Dad," I add on, trailing off as I bite a nail.
"Where are you?" he asks. "Are you still at the school?"
"Yeah, I'm not sure how much longer I will be, though."
"Stay there until I get off work. The doors are locked, right?"
"Yeah, no one can get in without a key. Dad, I don't need you to babysit me," I frown, the strength in my voice starting to return. "That wasn't the intention of this call."
"I don't care what your intention was. I'm telling you to stay there."
"And wait another four hours for you to finish at work? I don't think so. I'll call someone."
"Who? Jasper? He's a half hour drive away at work. You know he can't just pick up and leave." I scowl at my desk, not enjoying how tiny I feel, as if I'm a child being lectured.
"I can call my friend Edward, see if he's off work. If he is, I'll ask if he can keep me company. If not, I'll wait for you," I bargain. Dad mulls this over for a second before agreeing to my terms.
"Call me and tell me what's going on, okay? And send me the number he called you from."
"I will. Bye," I say before hanging up. Letting out a deep sigh, I check my call log for the number James called me from. Unfortunately, all I see is "Unknown Number" and let out an audible groan before texting Dad. Then, I call Edward, hoping I'm not bothering him while he's at work.
"Hello?" he answers after a few rings.
"Hey, Edward, it's me, uh, Bella," I say, scrunching my nose at how lame I sound.
"How are you, Bella?" he asks and I can hear the smile in his voice.
"I'm okay," I say hesitantly.
"That wasn't very convincing," he retorts, concern etched into his tone.
"Are you busy?"
"No, not at the moment, what's up?"
"Can you," I start before letting out a quick sigh. "This is stupid," I grumble. "Can you come walk me to my truck?" I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks after the question leaves my lips. I hate how childish this feels.
"Yeah, why? Are you okay?"
"I just got a phone call from James, at least I think it was from him. I'm just a little spooked is all."
"How about I do you one better and come keep you company?" he suggests and I let out a silent thank you for not having to humiliate myself more by asking him to come be my bodyguard.
"That would be amazing, Edward, thank you," I respond. "I'm at the school. I'm finishing up cleaning my room right now but you're welcome to come on up."
"I'll head that way now," he offers.
"Just let me know when you get here and I'll come let you in," I instruct.
"Alright, I'll be there in a few minutes." I set my phone down after we hang up not liking the feeling of being completely alone now that the call has ended. I mean, if I was on the phone and James had come into my classroom, there's nothing Edward could do so why does it feel more threatening to not be on the phone?
I cross my arms, leaning against my desk as I wait for Edward. There's no point in trying to get any cleaning done while I wait, I know I won't be able to do a thorough job while I'm distracted like this. The sound of our wedding some plays over and over in my head. I've managed to avoid that song since that last day with him. It's like it holds a toxicity now. I didn't even dream of not wanting to hear it again when we chose it to be the song for our first dance. This song used to mean so much to me but now it's just several minutes of a melody with bad memories tied into it.
I push myself off my desk and try to busy myself in cleaning my desk again, desperate to get these thoughts out of my head. I play my music again, trying to think of anything but my wedding song. Pen caps. I need to find these pen caps. I remind myself, opening up the top drawer and sifting through it. I grab all the pen caps I can find, securing them onto my pens before placing the pens in a cup on my desk.
The music stops on my phone again as my ringtone sounds. My breath hitches in my throat as I glance over at the phone. A sigh of relief escapes me as I read Edward's name on the screen. I bring it to my ear as I answer.
"Hey," I say as I leave my classroom.
"Hey, I'm here," he says. "I'm at the front doors."
"Alright, I'm on my way," I respond as I make my way through the hallways, only a small amount of sound coming from my tennis shoes. Hanging up the phone as I get to the doors at the main office, I open it for Edward to come inside, leaning against the door as he walks past.
"I come bearing gifts," he grins as he holds up two coffee cups.
"What did I do to deserve this?" I laugh.
"I wanted coffee and I thought it would be rude to show up without getting you one," he chuckles as he hands me a cup. I take it with a giant grin as we walk down the hallway.
"Well, thank you," I smile as I take a sip. A rush of sweetness fills my tastebuds and I moan in satisfaction.
"I told them five creamers and a mountain of sugar," Edward says in response to my moan. "I'm guessing it was enough?"
"This is perfect. I'm surprised you actually ordered this," I giggle.
"It kind of hurt to order, but I managed it," he jokes. I lead Edward into my classroom and walk over to my desk, setting my coffee down.
"Make yourself at home. I just have a few more things I need to finish up, if that's okay," I say, turning to him. He's looking around my classroom curiously, taking in the posters and decorations I have displayed on the walls.
"Do whatever you need to, I'm free the rest of the day," he assures me before sliding into a chair at a desk, his long legs stretched out in front of him. Before my glance can turn into a stare, I busy myself at my desk again. Now that the top of my desk is organized, it's time to tackle the drawers. I start pulling out the random junk I've stored in the top drawer; from things I've confiscated to my own random accumulated items, there's plenty to sift through.
"Did you ever have a class in this room when you were in high school?" Edward asks. I glance up at him, his forearms resting on the desktop and his body leaned forward.
"Spanish, actually," I nod. "Instead of separating English and foreign languages into two wings, we have them all in one so this class used to be the Spanish classroom."
"You can speak Spanish?" I laugh and shake my head as I start to put back my essential items into the drawer, tossing the nonessential items into the trash bin.
"No, definitely not," I answer. "I wasn't very good at it the year I took the class, either. I was better at writing it than speaking it."
"I can't remember much from Spanish either," he admits. "The most I remember is 'yo hablo Español'."
"That's about all I remember too," I giggle. Opening my bottom drawer, I pull out a few papers that I have yet to file. I use this drawer for my student records because it has the ability to lock. As I sift through the papers, I file them in their corresponding folders before closing and locking the drawer.
"Alright, all I have to do now is put up my door decorations," I announce as I glance towards my bare door. I don't typically decorate it because whatever I put up will be lost on my apathetic high schoolers. I do like to put up "welcome back" decorations for after breaks, though.
I can feel Edward's eyes follow me as I make my way to one of my storage cabinets. I open the cabinet and sift through my decorations. I find the banner I'm looking for and make my way back up to the front of my classroom. Grabbing my tape off my desk, I make my way to my door, securing the banner across it.
"They're going to think this is dorky but I don't really care," I muse, taking the tape back over to my desk. Picking up my coffee, I lean against my desk, facing Edward.
"So, this is what your students see," he muses before taking a drink from his cup. I roll my eyes as I take a drink from mine.
"No, they don't ever see me this casual," I joke, looking down at my outfit. "But yes, this is essentially what they see when I'm teaching," I admit with a laugh. I look back up with him and I'm unsure if I imagined it or not but his eyes seem to move up my body to my face. A fluttering feeling fills my chest and I fight to keep my jaw from dropping open.
It's perfectly normal to move on, Bella. Dr. Greene's words ring through my mind as the fluttering dies out. Think about your feelings this week and how you're embracing them. It's only one day after my session and I'm already thinking about giving into my feelings with just one look he may or may not have given me.
"Bella?" Edward's voice calls and I'm snapped out of my thoughts. Blinking a few times, I direct my attention to him.
"Sorry, did you say something?" I blush.
"I was asking if you were ready to head out?" he replies. I nod, making my way around my desk to grab my purse.
"Thank you for coming up here," I say, sincerely grateful. I wouldn't have gotten anything else done while waiting for Dad to come up here and it would've been a miserable few hours while I waited.
"You're actually doing me a favor. I was in for a boring afternoon," he chuckles as he stands from the desk. I give him a small smile before taking a sip of my coffee and heading for the door. He follows me out, closing the door behind us.
We make our way down the hallway, Edward directly behind me. It feels weird having had Edward in my classroom. It feels almost personal, kind of like how a teenager feels about having their boyfriend in their bedroom. My classroom is a direct reflection of who I am as a teacher and to have shared that with Edward makes me feel like I've exposed a part of myself to him. In all the time I was with James, he had never even set foot in the school, let alone my classroom.
I open the front doors, holding it for Edward as he walks out behind me. Glancing into the lot, I see Edward's bike parked next to my truck. My massive truck looks dull and awkward sitting directly next to the sleek bike, two vehicles from completely different worlds.
Edward walks next to me as we make our way through the parking lot. I can't help but glance around as if I'm going to see James lurking in the shadows somewhere. Thankfully, my truck is far enough off the ground for me to see under it so I don't have to let my imagination run wild with scenarios of James waiting beneath my truck, waiting to grab my ankle.
We stop by my driver's side door and Edward opens it for me. I climb into my truck and he leans against the open door.
"Do you have any plans the rest of the afternoon?" he asks.
"No, I was just going to go home and watch some TV or something, why?" I ask, turning to face him.
"Would you like to come with me to get some ice cream with my sister and nephew? I made him mad the other night when I left so I promised him ice cream to stop a temper tantrum," he explains with a smile.
"Yeah, that sounds like fun," I agree immediately, hoping I'm not sounding too eager. I really don't want to have to go home and sit alone and I don't want to go to Mom's and have her try to get me to paint with her. I like the bonding time with her but I'm not even remotely good at painting and she has no problem pointing it out, giving me tips I have no clue how to execute.
"Do you want to drop your truck off at your place and I can drive us?" he asks.
"Yeah, sure," I nod. "Uhm, on the bike?" I ask, not meaning to sound as nervous as I do.
"We don't have to take the bike," he assures me.
"No, no, the bike is fine," I insist. "I was just wondering." He stares at me for a moment, probably making sure I really mean it. After he's satisfied, he backs away from the door.
"I'll see you at your place," he smiles before shutting my door. As I start up my truck, he makes his way around the front of it to get to his bike. I watch as he straddles the bike and pulls his helmet onto his head. He glances over at me as he starts up the bike and I quickly look away, shifting my truck into drive and leaving the lot.
Edward follows me the short ride home, parking the bike in the driveway next to my truck. He takes his helmet off and pulls out his cellphone, holding it to his ear. I kill the engine on the truck and grab my purse before getting out and walking over to his bike.
"Hey, Al, you and Riley free right now? Bella and I want to meet you for ice cream." He looks up at me and smiles, handing me his helmet. I take it from him, returning his smile as he continues his conversation. "Great, we'll see you in a few then. Bye," he grins as he hangs up. "Ready?" he asks as he slides his phone back into his pocket. I nod and pull the helmet onto my head. The scent of his cologne mixed with his hair products and just the scent of him washes over me. He holds out his hand and I take it, letting him steady me while I get on the bike. Twisting his body, he reaches over and pulls down the visor of the helmet. When he turns back around, he reaches for my arms and pulls them around my body.
"Hold on tight," he instructs before starting up the bike again. I squeeze my arms against his torso, suddenly very nervous, my chest pressing flush against his back. If I thought that hum we seem to have was strong before, it's impossibly stronger now. I feel almost electric, exhilarated being this close to him, despite the nerves I'm feeling about the bike ride.
"I'll drive slow," he says, sensing my nerves. I nod and stutter out an okay before he drives the bike out of the driveway. I expect to feel unsteady as the bike drives down the road but I'm surprised when the only thing I feel is the wind whipping past us. I work up the courage to look over Edward's shoulder as he drives. I never would have expected to be even remotely comfortable on a bike but, with how comfortable Edward makes me feel, I should've known this wouldn't be any different. I loosen the death grip I have on Edward as I look around at the world rushing past us. This is somehow worlds different from watching out the window of a car. I'm actually feeling the world rush by instead of just seeing it.
Edward's true to his word, too, and drives a little bit under the speed limit. I'm confident now, though, that if he were to drive the speed limit, I wouldn't feel as nervous as I was in my driveway. I get the urge to put my hands up in the air like some sappy teen rom-com, but quickly shake the thought from my head. Knowing my luck, I'd look stupid and I'd fall off the bike.
A few minutes later, Edward pulls into the ice cream shop's parking lot and kills the engine, putting down the kickstand with his foot. I let go of him and straighten up a bit, pulling the helmet off my head.
"You alright?" Edward asks, turning to look at me. I give him a smile and nod.
"That was actually fun," I laugh. He grins at me and offers his hand. Taking it, I get off the bike, careful not to make a fool of myself by faceplanting onto the ground. He gets off and takes the helmet, placing it on the seat of his bike. I try to smooth my hair down, trying to make it look like I'm just running my fingers through my hair. Edward doesn't seem to fall for the act, though.
"Come here," he smirks. I take a step towards him and he reaches his hand into my hair, tucking a few strands behind my ear and expertly smoothing the rest down. "I've become pretty good at taming helmet hair," he brags with a chuckle. I blush, looking up at him as he works. Once he's done, he backs away, looking towards the lot entrance where a small yellow car is pulling in. "That'll be Alice," he announces, glancing over at me. I swallow nervously, unsure of how to act around Alice.
I watch as a small woman with short black hair gets out of the car and opens the backseat door. She leans in and pulls out a little boy who looks so much like her but yet so different at the same time. He looks over and starts bouncing in Alice's arms. She puts him down and he runs over as fast as his little legs will take him. As Edward crouches down, Alice calls a warning to the boy about running in the parking lot, but he doesn't seem to hear her. He launches himself into Edward's waiting arms. His arms wrap securely around the boy and he stands up with a massive grin on his face.
"Edward, don't encourage that," Alice frowns. "What if a car had been coming?"
"Then you wouldn't have put him down or you would've held his hand," Edward points out with a quirked eyebrow. Alice shakes her head at him and then turns to me, a smile brightening her face. "Bella!" she greets happily as she hugs me. I'm taken aback for a moment but, after a slight hesitation, I hug her back.
"Alice," I giggle back at her. She pulls away, grinning.
"I've heard a lot about you," she admits and I blush, looking at Edward, but he's engrossed in whatever Riley's telling him. "I told Edward that I had to meet you. For being in a small town, it's hard to find people you can actually tolerate," she jokes.
"I completely agree with you," I laugh.
"That's my son, Riley," Alice introduces as she motions towards Edward and Riley. "Riley, say hi to Bella," Alice calls to him. He stops talking to Edward and looks over, clutching Edward's neck as he peers at me shyly.
"Hi, Bella," he says in a small voice.
"Hi, Riley," I smile back at him. He looks at me for another moment then looks at Edward.
"Ice cream?" he asks. Edward chuckles and nods.
"Ice cream," he agrees before looking over at me and Alice. "You two ready to head inside?" I nod and follow as Alice leads the way. The sticky, sweet smell of the ice cream washes over us as we enter the shop. We walk up to the counter, taking in the flavor options. Edward stands behind me, glancing over my shoulder into the counter.
"What're you thinking, Riley?" Edward asks. I look back at the little boy as he looks into the case.
"Chocolate!" he grins happily. The employee behind the counter walks over to us, asking what we want.
"Hey, can we get a kid's scoop of chocolate in a bowl? And I'll get a scoop of mint chip in a bowl, please." Edward looks at me after he's ordered.
"Can I get a scoop of cookie dough in a bowl, please?"
"And I'll take a scoop of cake batter in a bowl, please," Alice says, finishing our order. The man gets to work scooping our ice cream into bowls and handing them out as he finishes. Once he's done, he punches our order into the cash register, looking at Edward as he says the total.
"I can pay for my own," I say awkwardly as I reach into my purse.
"Bella, I invited you, the least I can do is buy your ice cream," Edward smiles at me as he pulls his card out of his wallet. I nod and smile my thanks to him. Once the ice cream is paid for, we head towards the back of the shop, sitting in a booth. I slide into the booth facing the front of the shop, scooting all the way over so I'm sitting by the window. Edward sits next to me with Riley on his lap. Alice sits across from us, positioning herself in the middle of the booth.
"So, Bella, Edward tells me you're a teacher," Alice smiles at me and takes a bite of her ice cream. The front door opens and I peer past Alice's shoulder to see who's walking in. A group of teenagers makes their way to the counter.
"Yeah, I teach eleventh grade English and literature. What do you do?" I ask, looking at her so she knows she has my full attention.
"I'm an event planner," she says. "I mainly do parties and weddings but I've recently had some corporations and charities reach out to have me plan fundraisers so I'm getting a little busier as the weeks go on."
"That's so cool. What's your favorite thing to plan?"
"Weddings, by far. It's so rewarding to see a bride's vision come to life and know you're the one that helped do that."
"Alice has been planning her own wedding since she could talk so this kind of came naturally to her," Edward teases but it doesn't seem to bother Alice. Instead, she beams at him proudly.
"The only thing that's changed throughout the years is the husband in that scenario," she says before turning to me. "Justin Timberlake was my original choice but I've decided I can settle for someone else," she giggles.
"More like you were forced to resign to that fact," Edward jokes. Alice rolls her eyes at Edward before turning her attention back to me.
"So, what made you want to teach?"
"I'm not really sure," I shrug. "I've just always loved literature and I didn't really find school boring like most people do. I think I just chose to do it because I didn't know what else to do. But I love it."
"I would've liked literature more if my teachers didn't pick such boring books," Alice says, pouting a bit.
"How can you find any of the books we read in high school boring?" I laugh. "I teach those books, still."
"They're still making students read To Kill a Mockingbird and The Catcher in the Rye?" she asks, scrunching her nose.
"The fact that you're using that face to talk about those books breaks my heart," I tease her.
"Bella's students feel the same as you," Edward laughs.
"No, I really think they enjoy the books," I defend, still laughing. "They just don't like discussing the books with me. If I let them have the books and just read them and take a test on them, I think they'd enjoy my class more, but that's not what literature courses are about."
"I like Chicka Chicka Boom Boom," Riley says, looking at me shyly, his mouth surrounded by a halo of chocolate.
"I like that one, too," I smile at him. "Do you know what letter your name starts with?" I ask.
"R for rhino!" he grins proudly. I grin back at him, nodding enthusiastically.
"And show Bella how old you are with your fingers, Buddy," Edward encourages. Riley puts his spoon down and spends a few seconds trying to put his thumb and pinky down before showing me three fingers.
"No, you're not three yet," Edward laughs. "That's in two weeks. How old are you right now?" Riley uses his other hand to help put his ring finger down before showing me his two fingers.
"Well, for what it's worth, you look like a three-year-old," I grin at Riley. He takes in what I say and beams back at me before looking at Alice.
"I look three!" he says excitedly. She smiles and nods at him.
"That's because you're a big boy now," she explains. "You don't need your pull-ups anymore at bedtime. That makes you a big boy."
"What? Since when don't you wear pull-ups to bed?" Edward asks, exaggerating his disbelief. Riley grins up at him, giggling at Edward's exaggeration.
"Since last night. I told him if he kept his pull-up dry through the night for two weeks, he could start going without them at bedtime," Alice says.
"I guess this is a celebration ice cream then, isn't it?" Edward says to Riley, holding out his hand for a high-five. Riley slaps his sticky hand into Edward's, nodding his head excitedly.
It's adorable seeing how Edward acts with Riley. I can easily tell that Riley means the world to Edward and that fact is making it even harder to deny my feelings for him. I'm not sure what it is about men that are great with children, but they seem to be just that much more attractive. James was always really good with children, but the thought of him being around our prospective children makes me sick to my stomach. The unknown of how his temper would affect our could-have-been family is terrifying and I'm thankful I never have to experience the outcome.
The front door opens again, pulling me from my thoughts and pulling my eyes towards the door. A woman walks in with her son, who looks like he's a few years older than Riley.
An arm drapes along the booth behind my shoulders and I jump a bit before looking over at Edward and smiling softly. Of course it's his arm; he's the one that's sitting next to me. I mentally curse myself for letting my thoughts wander far enough away from reality that I had to question whose arm it was.
"You alright, Bella?" Alice asks. I look over and her eyebrows are pulled towards each other in concern.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay," I assure her with a smile. She reaches across the table and takes my hand in both of hers.
"Edward didn't tell me any details, but he did tell me that your husband wasn't kind to you. I can't say I can totally relate, but I can understand being wronged by someone you loved," she empathizes with me. "My ex, Demetri, ended up leaving me right after I had Riley. He said he wasn't cut out for fatherhood and that our relationship was moving far too fast. We had been together for five years and we had our wedding set for about half a year after Riley was born. I still don't understand why he really left, but I'm better off without him. I hope you feel you're better off without your ex, too," she finishes, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
Swallowing thickly, I glance down at the table, biting the inside of my lip before looking back at her.
"I'm way better without James," I say, his name setting off alarms in my head as I say it. "He's left me with physical and emotional scars but I'd rather have those without him than still be with him. He's actually kind of the reason Edward and I are hanging out today," I explain, blushing.
"What do you mean?" she asks curiously.
"I was at work today and got a little nervous being alone and having to walk to my car alone, so Edward came to the school so I didn't have to be alone." Alice looks at Edward and exchanges a look I don't understand before smiling at me.
"If you ask Edward for an inch, he'll give you a mile without even blinking an eye. He's always been that way."
"I appreciate it," I say, smiling over at Edward, who's already looking at me. I glance down at Riley, who's curled up in Edward's lap, fighting sleep.
"Someone's ready for a nap," Alice giggles before moving to the edge of her booth to stand. "He fought his nap earlier, so maybe he'll take one now." Edward carefully gets out of the booth and passes Riley to Alice. He whines a bit before clinging to Alice's neck, resting his head on her shoulder.
"It was really nice to meet you," I smile at Alice as I move out of the booth. She beams back at me, nodding.
"You'll have to come over sometime," she invites. "Or I'll have Edward babysit and we can go out," she adds, grinning slyly.
"Anything works for me," I giggle. Edward gathers up out empty cups, shaking his head at Alice as he does. We head towards the front of the shop and walk out after Edward throws the trash away. We follow Alice to her car and Edward opens the back door for her. She carefully places Riley in his car seat and straps him in before straightening up and letting Edward close the door. She turns to me and basically flings herself into my arms with a hug. Giggling, I hug her back as tight as she's hugging me. I've barely known this woman for a half hour and I can already tell she's going to fit right in with Rose and me.
When she pulls away, she hugs Edward, before saying one last farewell and getting into her car. I glance over at Edward and he turns to me and gives me a smile.
"You ready?" he asks. I nod and follow him over to his bike. I pick up the helmet off the seat and pull it onto my head. Edward gets on his bike and holds his hand out to me again. Taking it, I swing my leg over the bike, pressing myself into Edward's back, and wrap my arms around him. He starts up his bike and I squeeze a little tighter as we start moving. Just like last time, Edward goes below the speed limit, probably to make sure I'm comfortable and because he's not wearing a helmet. I feel that exhilarating rush flowing through me again, stirring in my stomach along with the feeling of being close to him.
All too soon, Edward is parking the bike in my driveway. I hold onto his shoulder as I get off the bike and take the helmet off.
"This was fun," Edward says as he gets off the bike.
"It really was, thank you for keeping me company," I say back, smiling a bit. I take a step closer to him and he opens his arms for a hug. Without hesitating, I wrap my arms around his back, welcoming his embrace. I breathe deep, inhaling his intoxicating scent as he gently squeezes me. When we pull back, I look up at him and I'm immediately lost in his eyes. I feel my breathing pick up and can feel the same pull I felt towards him Wednesday afternoon. Edward's eyes search mine, looking for any sign to pull away, but I don't give him one. His eyes flicker down to my parted lips before moving back up to my eyes. I lean in, standing on my tiptoes to get closer to him before he closes the gap, his lips pressing firmly against mine. My arms come up around his neck as his lips move gently against mine. His hands work their way up my sides until they settle at my jaw, holding my face securely as his lips move expertly against mine.
The kiss seems to go on forever but not long enough before he pulls away. When he does, I'm left breathless with my heart hammering against my chest and my cheeks flushed. I try to process what just happened and I can't seem to wipe the grin off my face, my bottom lip between my teeth. I look up at him and he's smiling down at me, his goofy grin matching mine.
"I've wanted to do that for days," he chuckles breathlessly.
"Me too," I admit shyly. I lean up and kiss him one more time, this one more chaste and quicker. "I should get inside," I mumble.
"Have a good night, Bella," he smiles at me, kissing me one last time before pulling away. I mumble out my returned gesture before walking backwards a few steps, watching as he gets on the bike. He looks over at me and winks before putting on his helmet, lowering the face shield as he does so in one fluid movement. Blushing even further, I give a small wave before turning and walking up the porch steps. He waits until I'm inside before starting up the bike and driving off.
Resting my back against the door, I bring a hand up to my lips, feeling like a teenager who's just had her first kiss. It feels like forever since I've been kissed like that. I hate comparing this moment to what I had with James but it's hard not to. This is a moment I want to repeat over and over and I can't help but feel grateful that I have this after what I went through with James. Even just one kiss is bringing me more joy than I ever thought was possible after him.
This is it. I'm completely and totally into Edward Cullen.
Hi everyone!
I know I suck and I'm so sorry this took so long! As I've said before, I'm in grad school and I work full time so please continue to be patient with me! Believe me when I say I've worked on this every day for as long as I could before I couldn't avoid my responsibilities any longer!
What do you guys think? They finally kissed! I was going to hold off a little longer but decided last minute that this was the right moment for it to happen!
Make sure you leave a review! Tell me what you liked and what you're thinking so far! I read every review and it really helps motivate me!
Until next time,
Twilight What?