Remember when I said that I had no clue on how to continue the story? As it turned out, I got an idea for a new chapter pretty much immediately after uploading the previous one, so no interlude this time. This will teach me not to open my big, stupid mouth.

Hope you like it!

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BAKAS&BEHOLDERS

Don't forget to try the spin-off game: Tsunderes&Trolls

VI

You Should (Not) Abuse of Random Tables

The adventurers stood in front of the cave's entrance, having found it just where the ill-fated bandit said it would be. The opening in the rock was around three meters tall, and wide enough that even Pinchy and the cart could go through. As it had been described, it looked more like a giant maw rather than a natural occurrence. This optical effect was only enhanced by the presence of pointy stalactites and stalagmites, which reminded everyone of monstrously large fangs. Three protrusions over the entrance looked like two angry human eyes and a nose that, while deformed, was still human-like. Moss grew all around it, in the vague shape of a lion's mane.

The pareidolia remained silent, even though it almost seemed that it was going to roar at any moment. Inside the "mouth" there were only shadows, a dark tunnel which descended deep into the bowels of the mountain. Lesser mortals would've been scared, but not the party. They had a quest to complete, for the good of Mindflayers Fall and perhaps the kingdom; and nothing was going to deter them. Their weapons were ready. Their spirits, courageous. Their will, unbreakable. It was time to face whatever dangers lurked below, hidden from the sun and the stars.

At least, until Lilith pointed out a tiny detail:

"We did not buy any torches."

"Scheiße!" Asuka cursed. "I knew we had forgotten something!"

"So what?" Touji shrugged, not giving importance to the problem. "We'll just make our own. It can't be that difficult, just rubbing some sticks together. Right, Ken?"

But the geek laughed.

"Oh, my dear Suzuhara," he said, pushing his glasses up. "It's so obvious that you've never gone camping… While almost every piece of wood is good for fuel, not all of them are useful for starting the fire. If they're too dry, they burn too fast. If they're too green, the fire can't latch on to them and dies out. You have to find the middle point. Also, it's not just 'rubbing them together.' Sticks aren't matches. It's gonna take time, unless our warlock has some spells for burning stuff."

At the other side of the table, Rei shook her head.

"And even if we do start a fire," Kensuke continued, "there's the matter of finding branches that we can use as torches. And don't get me started on actually keeping the flames alive while we explore the cave. Torches don't last forever, especially if they're improvised."

Hikari, who had been skimming over her manual of paladins, closed the book and let out a sad sigh.

"And I don't have any ability to illuminate our path," she said. "Sorry."

"Wait," Touji tried again. "Didn't the bandit say that there were strange lights inside the cave? Maybe we won't need a torch after all."

"That would be unwise," Rei intervened. "Most likely, those lights are an underground subtype of will-o-wisps. They are actively malicious and they would undoubtedly guide us to a painful death."

With no more ideas, the athlete threw his hands up in the air as he admitted defeat.

"What now?" he asked, to no one in particular.

All heads turned to look at the Dungeon Master. Shinji was already scribbling something behind his screen.

"Calm down, everyone," he said. "I've thought of a solution, I'm going to throw you a bone. Roll History, please."

With the exception of Hikari and Kensuke, everyone succeeded.

"You just remembered that there is a magical pond in Medusa's Wrath," Shinji explained. "The water there shines with light of its own. If put in a bottle, it can act as a lantern."

"Do we know its location?" Asuka asked.

"Yes, and it's not too far away. In fact, you reach it without troubles. However, you find that the pond is guarded."

"By who–" the German girl stopped, thought about it for a second, and then asked a much more appropriate question: "By what?"

"I don't know," the Dungeon Master grinned, "but we're going to find it right now. You see, I had prepared a table of random encounters, just in the case I needed a monster on the fly. Could someone roll a d100, please?"

"A what?" Touji asked, flabbergasted. "A die with friggin' one hundred sides? They exist?"

"Yeah," Asuka answered, "but we don't have one. What we do is use two ten-sided dice, white for the units and blue for the tens. 01 is the lowest possible number, and we read 00 as 100."

The explanation finished; she picked up the plastic polyhedrons, shook her hand a few times and rolled.

"45."

"Alright," Shinji checked the table. "Let's see…"

His eyes widened. His smile disappeared, replace by a grimace of worry. The other players saw this, and unrest began to spread across the table.

"What?" Asuka asked. "What is it?"

"Well…" her boyfriend sighed. "It's not the worst possible result, but…"

The pond was hidden behind a semi-circle of oaks, their thick trunks and leafy branches forming a sort of natural barrier. There were no petrified giants in that place, no signs of the massacre enacted by the ancient queen so many years in the past. The pond itself was not very large, birthed by a stream flowing down the mountain and falling into a depression in the ground. A golden glow could be seen emanating from it, although out there, in the sunlight, it was dim and weak. Curiously, the water of the stream didn't shine, not until it reached the pond. Perhaps the light was actually produced by some algae or other small organisms that only lived in there? Or was it due to the weirdly specific rules of some ancient magics?

While those were interesting questions, the party had their attention focused on something else: the creature patrolling around the pond. It was an 8-foot tall humanoid frog, with arms so long and claws so sharp that they could've very well been borrowed from a troll. Its whole body was red, and it had small black spikes sprouting from its back. It grumbled and snarled at nothing as it walked, while drool fell from its wide mouth, which was filled with very un-frog-like fangs. Although its muscular physique was impressive, its amphibian eyes denoted a considerable lack of intelligence.

"A red slaad," Lilith said, staring at the creature from behind the bushes where the party was hiding. "A native of Limbo, the Plane of Chaos. It is not common to see them here, in the Prime Material Plane. Someone must have summoned it to guard this place."

"Can we kill him?" Thomas asked, his hands already going for the crossbow.

"I do not know. While red slaadi are the weakest of their kind, they are still beings from the Outer Planes. Their claws and fangs are magical, and they have enough strength to rival veteran human warriors. However, there is only one of them and five of us; so it could be possible."

"Let me go first!" Kensuke exclaimed. Asuka and Hikari opened their mouths to stop him, but before they could say a word, the geek's die was already rolling. "Nice, 19!"

"Wait," Touji intervened. "Shouldn't we do the Initiative thing first?"

"Eeeh…" Shinji looked at his notes. "Well, the battle hasn't technically started yet. Kensuke, because your Dexterity is 16 I'll allow it, but just this time. You attack first."

"Awesome! In that case, I get on all fours and run towards that overgrown frog, aiming right at the jugular!" he raised a fist in the air and yelled, at the top of his lungs: "LEEEEEROOOYY JEEEEEENNNNNKIIIIIINNSSS!"

The table responded with a chorus of groans, the shaking of heads and a chuckle from the Dungeon Master.

"Wrong game, classmate Aida," Rei said.

Kenneth jumped out of their hiding spot, releasing a primal roar that caused all the nearby birds to flee. The red slaad turned, alerted by the noise, but didn't seem worried by the werewolf running towards him. On the contrary, his frog-like mouth opened in what was probably a grin of excitement. He beat his chest like a gorilla, welcoming the attack and, perhaps, even daring the druid to hurry up and to hit without mercy.

Asuka leaned closer to Rei and asked:

"Do you want to tell him? Or should I do it?"

"Eh?" Kensuke was taken out of his lycanthrope power fantasy. "Tell me what?"

"Hold on," Shinji said as he rolled a die. "Perhaps there's no need for that… oh…" his face grew pale. "Oh, no… the slaad got a Natural 20…"

"What? What's going on? A Natural 20 on what?"

And Rei explained:

"A red slaad can bring another red slaad from Limbo to aid in the fight."

With barely three meters separating them, Kenneth jumped, his maw wide open and hungry for red meat. Time seemed to slow for the half-elven druid as he got closer and closer to the extraplanar monster. He saw the slaad moving his arms and pronouncing a word in a language he didn't recognize.

Then, right in front of Kenneth, the very fabric of reality was ripped apart. A tear appeared in the air, and then two red hands, with long fingers and sharp claws, stretched it open from the inside. A new slaad emerged from the wound between dimensions, letting out a blood-curdling warcroak.

And they clashed.

Werewolf and amphibian got locked into a ball of violence and growls, each one clawing and biting at the other like rabid animals.

"By Sharindlar's burning needle!" Baltika gasped in horror. "We have to help him!"

"Hang on, Kenneth!" Emma exclaimed. "We're coming!"

Fighter and paladin jumped out of the bushes and ran towards the slaadi, alerting the original. Deciding to leave the druid to his summoned friend, the frog-creature stepped forward and faced the approaching women. Emma got to him first, being faster, and reached for the hilt of her two-handed sword.

She found nothing.

"Was zur Hölle?!"

"Yeah, sorry," Shinji said, offering a sheepish smile to his girlfriend. "I rolled on a table of random occurrences. Pinchy ate your sword while you weren't looking."

"OH YOU SON OF A–"

"–FLEA-RIDDEN CANOLOTH!"

Emma reacted fast enough and jumped back just in time to avoid the claws of the red slaad, which passed mere millimeters away from her head. She instantly put more distance between the monster and herself, while looking for anything else she could use to fight.

"Take my hammer!" Baltika yelled as she threw it.

The red-haired fighter caught the blunt weapon and immediately swung it at the slaad, hitting him in the arm, but the frog-like creature didn't seem to mind the damage, if he had received any.

Meanwhile, the summoned slaad had managed to pin Kenneth to the ground and was trying to bite his face off. Growling between clenched fangs, the werewolf had a hand on the monster's neck, pushing up to keep those teeth away from his muzzle.

"Kenneth!" Lilith's voice came from afar. "Keep your head low!"

He did as instructed. An instant later, a swirling Eldritch Blast hit his enemy right in the face, followed by a bolt from Thomas' crossbow. However, the latter projectile merely bounced back on the creature's skin. The spell hadn't caused that much damage either, although it was enough for the slaad to emit an angry croak. He backed away from the werewolf, clutching at his amphibian face.

At that moment, Baltika reached Emma. The two women tightened their grips on their respective shield and hammer and threw defiant glares at the original slaad. In response, the monstrous frog inhaled, inflating his neck.

Then, he opened his mouth and released a deafening croak, one so loud that the pebbles on the ground were sent flying. Caught right in the path of the sonic attack, Emma and Baltika felt their balance failing as the noise drilled into their heads. Their vision became blurry, their strength faded and the world seemed to spin around them, so much and so fast that they had to resist the urge to vomit.

By the time it ceased, the two women were barely able to stand still, much less fight.

"What was that?!" Hikari shrieked.

"Stunning croak," Shinji explained. "Slaadi can do that."

"Change of plans!" Touji screamed as he rolled his dice. "I drop my crossbow and run to get Hikari's paladin out of there! Ken, you do the same with Sohryu's character!"

"I shall provide cover with my Eldritch Blasts."

Back in the safety of the oaks, Thomas kept both eyes on the slaadi while his companions recovered. For some reason, the monsters had stopped pursuing them just a few meters away from the pond. Perhaps they were bound to it by a spell, or maybe they were just lazy. Probably the former, since both frogs were looking in the party, performing obscene gestures in an obvious attempt to make them come back and continue the fight.

Lilith tended to Emma and Baltika, fanning them with her own skirt, waiting for their dizziness to pass. Meanwhile, Kenneth used one of their two remaining first-aid kits to heal his wounds.

"That reminds me," Shinji interrupted. "Ken, do me a Constitution roll."

His friend threw the die.

"17."

"Good enough," the Dungeon Master smiled. "Congratulations, you are not infected."

"… what?"

"See, when a red slaad wounds you with his claws, he also injects a tiny egg into your body, unless you pass a Constitution save. If the egg isn't extracted in three months, it moves to your chest cavity, hatches into a slaad tadpole and bursts out, killing you. But don't worry, you're fine."

"Why would you even put a monster like that in a random table?! We're level ONE!"

Sooner than later, Emma and Baltika recovered. Sitting on the grass, they held their heads and mewled in pain. The last echoes of the otherworldly croak were still ringing between their ears.

"What a humiliation," the human fighter grumbled. "We can take on a small group of armed bandits, but loose to two overgrown frogs," then, she noticed that Pinchy was not only approaching her, but also ogling her armor with hungry eyes. "Stay away from me, you land lobster!"

"No, Pinchy," Lilith said, pulling the rust monster into a gentle hug. "We do not eat the weapons and armor of our friends. Bad Pinchy. But I forgive you."

"What do we do now?" Baltika asked. "How long will the new slaad remain in our plane?"

"An hour," the elven warlock answered. "Luckily for us, neither of them can perform another summoning until that time expires. Since we all agreed on not wasting unnecessary time, I suggest we kill the original. That way, the other one will be forced to return to Limbo."

"Alright," Thomas loaded a bolt on his crossbow. "It seems they can't go too far away from the pond, so let's just shoot them from a safe distance."

He was about to turn around and fire, but Emma grabbed him by his leather jacket.

"No," she said. "Too risky. We don't know for sure that they're magically bound to remain near the water. Perhaps they just don't feel like chasing us, and they could change their minds if we provoke them. We won't survive another fight, so let's avoid it if we can."

The rogue grumbled, but admitted that she was right. He unloaded the crossbow to prevent any accidents, and hung the weapon at his back. Then, after scratching his chin for a while, he snapped his fingers.

"I've got it!"

Everyone watched with curiosity as Thomas went to the cart, grabbed a box and then placed it on the ground.

"Uncle Quoth's potions?" Baltika asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," he replied, smirking. "That feathered scammer said that none of them were poisons, but honestly, I don't believe it. I know I'm pretty much grasping at straws, but if one of these flasks were to contain a concoction deadly enough, I could throw it into the mouth of the original slaad," he looked at Lilith. "Unless, of course, those frogs are immune to venoms."

"They are not," she replied, crouching next to Thomas and looking at the box of potions. "They are resistant to acid, but poison affects them just like a normal living creature. Alas…" the elven warlock grabbed one of the flaks and studied it, with a shadow of disappointment in her crimson eyes. "I am afraid I do not know much about potions. I cannot identify any of these."

Thomas looked at Kenneth, but the werewolf shook his head.

"Sorry," he said, his voice now deep, guttural and animalistic. "Potion-making isn't my forte, either."

"Sweet Olympian Glades of Arborea! You can talk while transformed? Why didn't you say anything before?"

"You never asked."

Meanwhile, Lilith stared at the flasks and at the liquids contained within, each of a different color. Her hand hovered over them, occasionally stopping as if she were about to take a pick. After several seconds, she finally choose.

"This one," the elf said, standing up and holding a bottle that contained a dark purple substance, not very pleasant to the eyes. "I believe there is a high chance of this one being a fairly lethal poison."

"Let's not waste any more time, then," Thomas took the chosen potion and turned to face the slaadi, who were still mocking them from afar. "Which one's the original?"

"The one whose face was not scarred by my Eldritch Blast."

The rogue stretched his right arm back, clutching the chosen flask in his hand. Eyes focused on the original slaad, he waited for the right moment. When the monster opened his mouth wide, to wiggle his tongue at the party; Thomas threw the bottle with all his might. The tiny glass item whistled through the air, its purple contents swirling inside, and disappeared down a big, dark throat.

"Yes!"

"Yes!" Touji celebrated, fist raised in the air.

"Alright," the Dungeon Master said, "roll a d100 to determine the effect of that potion."

"I'm on it," the athlete grabbed the dice and shook his hand. "Come on, let it be poison, let it be poison…" he rolled. "63."

"Let's see… It was a multiplication potion. Two new red slaadi magically appear next to the original."

"Oh, come on!"

"And, since this doesn't count as a summoning, and they're technically not the same individual…" Shinji rolled some dice behind the screen. "Oops. Both succeed in gating in a new red slaad. There are six of them now."

The table erupted in a chorus of groans.

"I hate Uncle Quoth," a very displeased Touji grumbled.

"Wait," Rei interrupted. She had been the only one to remain calm. "Dungeon Master, the situation does not make sense. Red slaadi are violent and distrustful, even of their own kind. It is very hard to believe that, with so many of them in the same place, they would not start fighting among each other."

All heads turned to look at Shinji, raising inquisitive eyebrows. The boy just sighed and shrugged.

"Look," he said. "I've had to improvise this whole encounter in just a few minutes, cut me some slack," when that only got him displeased glares, he scratched the back of his head. "Okay, let me think of an explanation… I don't know… How about this: the magic that binds them to the pond prevents them from fighting each other.

Ayanami's eyes sparkled.

"So," she said, "it is confirmed that they are bound by magic. Most likely, they will not move too far away from the place, not even if we attack them. I propose that we go with ex-pilot Suzuhara's plan and shoot the three original ones from this position," she grabbed her die. "The crossbow bolts are limited and we should not waste them. I, however, can cast Eldritch Blast until the stars die out. I shall take care of the slaadi."

"Wondergirl, wait," Asuka pulled out a calculator and started to press the buttons at an incredible speed. "At level one, the Eldritch Blast causes 1d10 points of damage upon impact. A red slaad has 93 hit points. Between the three original ones, that's a total of 279. Let's assume the absolute best case scenario: that all your blasts do maximum damage, that none of them miss and that none are intercepted by any of the summoned slaadi. It would take you 28 rolls to kill the three original ones. Now, let's assume that, between throwing the dice, subtracting the enemy hit points and then rolling again; it all takes 25 seconds. To eliminate the three original slaadi, you would have to roll non-stop for twelve minutes straight. Again, this is only in the absolute best case scenario. If we account for misses, and for the likely possibility that the blasts won't always cause 10 points of damage; it would take much, much longer. No offence, Rei, but I believe that not even you want to spend half an hour rolling dice while the rest of us look or go to the bathroom."

Ayanami thought about it and nodded. Perhaps her old self, always willing to do whatever it took to complete the mission, would've done it; but not her. Not now. Not anymore. Even if it was just a game.

Besides, she didn't want to end up developing Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

"You know," Shinji smiled to his girlfriend. "You're more beautiful than usual when you do math."

Asuka smiled back, and then bonked him in the head with the calculator.

"I'm still pissed about my sword, Dummy Master."

"So…" Touji asked, "What do we do now? Any ideas?"

It was then that Hikari, while thinking of more options, noticed something on Kensuke's corner of the table, something that had been conveniently forgotten and ignored for the last minutes.

"What about the Deck of Many Things?" she suggested. "There are still 21 cards left."

Asuka frowned at the idea.

"I wouldn't recommend it," she said. "You saw what happened last time. We could end up with something worse than a devil telling dad jokes."

"I understand that there's a risk," Hikari admitted, "but we need that water as soon as possible. And you explained that not all cards are bad. Who knows? Perhaps we'll get something good! Maybe even a magic sword for you!"

The possibility of obtaining a new weapon, and a magical one to booth, dispelled most of the redhead's worries. Most of them.

"Alright, fine," she sighed. "Who wants to draw?"

"Let me try," Hikari said. "I feel lucky!"

Giggling, the class representative extended an arm and took a card. As she read the flavor text, one of her eyebrows rose, and her smile was replaced by an expression of absolute confusion.

"Well?" Kensuke asked. "Is is it a good one?"

"To be honest, I have no idea."

And Hikari showed them the card:

ARE YOU SUGGESTING COCONUTS MIGRATE?

A flock of a million swallows, each carrying a coconut, fly over the area and drop their cargo.

All creatures in a 100-foot area must perform a successful Acrobatics roll at a DC of 16 or suffer 5d20 points of blunt damage.

As the card held by Baltika disintegrated in green flames, several small shadows appeared on the ground, all over the place. Adventurers and slaadi looked to the heavens, and beheld an ever-growing ring of swallows flying over their heads.

Something round and heavy fell in front of Thomas, embedding itself into the ground, just a few feet away from his feet.

A coconut.

"What the…"

A second coconut fell on the pond, and the noise of the violent splash startled the slaadi. One of them snarled in pain and annoyance when the third hairy drupe landed on his head.

Then, all Hell broke loose. The coconuts started to fall like raindrops, some of them charging so much kinetic energy that they snapped the branches of the oaks as if they were cannonballs. Others descended so fast that they caught fire and exploded upon hitting the ground. Lilith quickly grabbed Pinchy and the two of them hid under the cart, while Baltika used her shield to protect Emma. Thomas and Kenneth just ran around, covering their heads with their arms. On the pond, the slaadi did pretty much the same.

They screamed, all of them, but their voices were muffled by the whistling of the falling coconuts.

Shinji allowed his players to roll Acrobatics with advantage, since their characters were still under the protective branches of the oaks and thus had an easier time avoiding the deadly drupes. Only Asuka and Hikari failed, but in an incredibly merciful act of the dice, Emma and Baltika received the minimum amount of damage: 5 points each.

Meanwhile, in an equally amazing occurrence that Kensuke recorded because otherwise nobody would believe him in a million years; the three original slaadi received the maximum possible damage, a whopping 100 points each, and were annihilated. Without their presence, their summoned kindred vanished from the mortal plane, leaving the pond unguarded.

"I use Lay on Hands on Emma," Hikari said. "It's better if we save our last first-aid kit for an emergency."

"Very well," the Dungeon Master nodded, "but what about Baltika?"

"Oh, she'll be fine. She's a paladin and a dwarf. Five hit points are nothing serious, not even at level one. Emma's less thought than her, however. She needs the healing."

"Yeah," Asuka grumbled. "Although, considering that I don't have a sword anymore, I wonder how long I'll last in the next fight."

"Don't worry, you can use Baltika's hammer until we find something else."

"You're too kind, Hikari; but I don't know if I should. It would still be the same problem: one of our warriors would be left without a weapon."

"Well," Shinji smiled. "I might have a solution for that. Look in the pond, Asuka."

Emma walked close to the shore. The water was so clear and crystalline that the bottom could be seen, despite its natural glow and despite the several coconuts floating in the surface. It was then that something caught her eye, something buried in the muddy bed of the pond. The fighter crouched and touched the waters with her gloved fingers, with hesitation, testing if it was safe. When nothing wrong seemed to happen, she sunk her whole arm, grabbed onto the thing and pulled. Neither the mud, the algae nor the liquid itself offered much resistance when the object was extracted.

Emma raised to her feet, holding now a two-handed sword almost as big as her previous one. It had a silver handle with the engraving of a griffon. The end of the hilt was crowned by a sapphire, which had been carved in the shape of a beholder, albeit quite a simplistic design, anatomically incorrect and a bit old-fashioned. As for the blade, it was immaculate, without a dent, dirt or rust; despite having been submerged for gods knew how long. Emma also noticed that the edge seemed to glow with a very faint red light.

"It is magical," Lilith said. "I can feel it."

The human fighter smirked. Both her hands closed around the handle. She held it tightly, feeling the power of the weapon. Emma and took a swi–

"Roll a d100, Asuka."

"OH, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME!"

Shinji leaned back and raised both hands, trying to protect herself from the fury of his girlfriend.

"Nothing bad will happen!" he quickly added. "I assure you! You'll get a two-handed sword +1 regardless of the roll! And even if the secondary effect isn't beneficial, it won't ruin your character's ability to fight, I swear!"

Asuka huffed and growled, but conceded and threw two ten-sided dice.

"81."

Shinji checked the table.

"Oh, boy…" he sighed.

"You," Asuka pointed a threatening finger at him. "You promised it wouldn't be anything bad."

"And it isn't! Well, more or less. You now have a two-handed sword +1, one that causes extra damage to certain monsters. While it has another effect, it won't give you any penalties during the fight."

"What's the effect?"

"You'll see."

The Dungeon Master took out his phone, marked a number and put it in his ear.

"Hello? Yes, it's me. Yes, she has that weapon. Alright, I'll put you on speaker."

Shinji left the phone on the table, right next to Asuka, and soon a voice came through it:

"Hello, sweetie! I'm gonna be in your game now!"

A blush of embarrassment appeared in cheeks of the former pilot of Unit-02.

"… Mom?" she asked.

"Yep! I'm the voice of your new sword!"

Asuka threw a deadly stare at her poor boyfriend.

"Sorry," he mumbled, shrinking in his seat. "She found my random tables one day and made me include this one."

"And let me guess," the young redhead huffed, rolling her eyes. "It's a 'Mommy-Sword,' isn't it? One that constantly embarrasses my character by patronizing her in the middle of the fight, or something like that."

"No, no, no; I would never do such a thing. It's a 'Back-In-My-Day-Sword.'"

Emma took a swing, and as she did, an old, raspy, female and quite annoyed voice emerged from the blade:

"Is that a warlock?"

The red-haired fighter stopped in the middle of the swing, and the others adventurers locked their eyes into the sword, especially Lilith.

"Bah, fancy warlocks with their unlimited spells…" the weapon continued. "Back in my day we didn't have warlocks, we had magic users! They only got ONE SPELL, which they could only use ONE TIME; and we were grateful for it!"

Dead silence fell all around the pond, interrupted only by the quiet whistle of a chilly breeze. In an act of perfect synchronization, the five adventures sported the exact same facial expression. Their eyebrows arched upwards. Their eyes narrowed and look to the side, away from the talking blade. Wrinkles appeared along their forehead and around their mouths, and they clenched their teeth.

Avoiding sudden movements, Emma sheathed her new sword

"At least we have food now,"Kenneth sighed, holding one of the many coconuts scattered across the place. Most of them were still intact, but some had cracked upon impact.

"Let's not waste any more time," Thomas said, uncorking another of Uncle Quoth's potions.

"Wait," a worried Baltika asked. "What are you planning to do?"

"We need an empty flask to carry the water," the rogue replied, nonchalantly, as he poured its contents on the grass.

"Roll a d100, Touji."

"Really, Shin-man? For this?"

"Don't you want to know what kind of potion you threw away?"

"I guess I do," he rolled. "34."

Shinji checked the random table.

"It was a potion of Monstrous Vegetal Growth."

Emma swung her new sword once more, this time to kill the enormous blades of grass that, like tentacles, had trapped most of the party already. The largest one held Thomas in its chlorophyll clutches, waving him around in the air.

The rogue managed to free one of his arms. He clenched a fist, raised it to the heavens and proclaimed:

"I hate Uncle Quoth more than anyone else in the world!"

To be continued…

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The rules regarding slaadi gating in other slaadi might not be 100% faithful, since I couldn't find much information about it. Most of what I know about that comes from the game Neverwinter Nights, which might not be an accurate representation of the tabletop rules. We'll excuse it as Shinji using weird house rules again.

The face the party collectively makes at the end if the infamous 'Excalibur Face' from Soul Eater. I couldn't think of any other reaction, and I thought it would be a nice reference.

Next time, we'll have an interlude. Yes, even if I get a good idea for a new chapter, I want to make an interlude again. I feel the need to write WAFF and apocalyptic cosmic horror.

I would like to give special thanks to Author0fntent for the Leeroy Jenkins moment; and to Lexarius for giving me the idea of Pinchy eating Emma's sword.

Also, thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited and/or followed.

See you next time!

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GLOSSARY OF D&D WORDS:

Sharindlar: In the Forgotten Realms setting, the dwarven goddess of healing and mercy. Her symbol is a burning needle.

Canoloth: A type of fiend. Imagine a dog, but with a big lamprey mouth instead of a face, insect-like chitinous plates on their backs and legs, and a long spiked tongue. Canoloths are a subspecies of daemons, the Neutral Evil fiends from the Gray Waste of Hades (not to be confused the Lawful Evil devils of Baator or the Chaotic Evil demons of the Abyss). Daemons are also known in D&D as 'yugoloths.'

Olympian Glades of Arborea: Also known as simply 'Olympus' or 'Arborea;' it's one of the many afterlives in the Great Wheel cosmology. It's the heaven for the pure Chaotic Good characters, situated between the Happy Hunting Grounds (Neutral Good/Chaotic Good) and Ysgard (Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral)

DC: Difficulty Class. Remember: most (if not all) actions in D&D have a Difficulty Class. You roll a d20, add the correspondent modifiers, and if the total result is equal or higher than the action's DC, you succeed.

Lay on Hands: A paladin's starting healing ability.

Beholder: Why did it take me so long to talk about the monster that appears in the title of the fic? Anyway… a beholder is probably the most iconic creature in Dungeons&Dragons, and has existed in the game since pretty much the beginning. It's a floating, orb-shaped creature with a mouth, an enormous eye in the middle and many small eyestalks on the top of the body. Each of the eyestalks can cast a different spell (usually Telekinesis, Sleep, Disintegration and others), while the central eye projects a cone of anti-magic. In other words: if a beholder's main eye is looking at you, your magic doesn't work. As you've probably guessed by now, it's quite a though monster.

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OMAKE: Shinji's Full Table Of Nasty Things For Random Encounters.

01 – 08: 1d4 giant spiders

09 – 13: Giant toad

14 – 18: Two drunk orcs

19: Gelatinous cube

20 – 25: Owlbear

26 – 29: 1d6 skeletons

31 – 33: 1d6 zombies

34 – 40: Gargoyle

41 – 44: Gendo in underwear

45: Red slaad

46 – 50: Hill giant

51 – 55: A golem made entirely of Misato's cooking

56 – 59: Wyvern

60: Human-sized Israfel Alpha and Beta (two party members must roll Performance simultaneously to defeat them in a dance-off)

61 – 64: 1d4 Minotaurs

65 – 68: Our old teacher, still going on about Second Impact

69 – 76: 1d4 Mindflayers

77: Human-sized Matarael

78: Giant-sized Pen-pen

79 – 82: Giant zombie duck

83 – 85: Young red dragon

86 – 88: 2d6 emus

89 – 91: Beholder

92 – 94: Ghost beholder

95: Bear-sized Zeruel

96: Undead bear-sized Zeruel

97: Ancient green dragon

98: Necromancer Kyoko riding an undead bear-sized Zeruel (NOTE: explain to Asuka that her mother made me add this one too)

99: Tarrasque

00: The Rabbit of Caerbannog