Quinn locked the doors to her dark blue sedan and made her way quickly across the street. Ahead, a small diner illuminated the vacant sidewalk and adjacent lot, casting a soft, warm glow against the sparkling black and silver pavement. She felt the length of the day tugging her towards her bed, but her stomach urged her to get something to eat first. It had been hours since her last meal, which she had to eat in a hurry to make it to the briefing table for Section's latest mission updates. Michael conducted the meeting, outlining the objectives in a monotone voice that nearly lulled Quinn to sleep. The only thing that kept her remotely aware was Michael's heavy French accent making some of his words sound irregular. She made a little game out of listening for how he pronounced his r's and e's along with the liquid ooze of the u sounds. The light from the hologram table continued to make strange colors in his reflective eyes, even behind the black horn-rimmed progressive glasses he now wore. Quinn thought it unusual to see Michael with glasses outside of a mission. She had always pegged him to be a contact lens wearer. However, given his de-constructed appearance as of late, she noticed Michael naturally was much simpler in style than when Section managed his upkeep.
Nikita was not seen the entire day, which led many to wonder if she was at Section at all. Michael was the only management visible within the blue and green hall lights. He supervised all missions in play and reported to Council the results, all without Nikita's input. Quinn wondered whether Nikita relinquished control to Michael or had he simply usurped her completely.
Quinn looked around the half-empty diner and spied Helmut seated at a booth far back in the corner of the restaurant. A plate of what looked to be remnants of a hamburger and fries rested in front of him. He stared down at his phone, reading something with heavy intensity. Quinn made her way to his table.
"I thought I missed you," said Quinn, announcing herself. "Sorry for being late. Work went a bit longer than expected."
Helmut looked up and gave a half-smile. Concern shadowed his expression, causing any welcome he could provide to become strained. Quinn took the gesture as an invitation for her to take a seat. She slid onto the yellow and white vinyl cushion of the bench, placing her purse beside her. Helmut returned to his phone, using his thumb to scroll through what he was reading.
"So…How have you been?"
Helmut finished what he was reading and canceled out of the application. He set his cellular phone aside on the table and clasped his hands together.
"I've been better," he said. "But I'm not complaining."
"I'm glad you don't look the way that you feel."
Helmut gave a genuine grin, accepting the compliment. He toyed with his glass of mostly drank sweet tea as he looked out the large window. Quinn watched as the melancholy he held earlier descended on him again, returning his expression to worry. She reached across the table and touched his hand.
"Things still not quite right between you and Nikita?"
Helmut turned back to Quinn. The look in his eyes told her she was correct in her assessment. He looked down, closing himself further in the cocoon of his thoughts.
"Something's changed about her," said Helmut. "She's not the same person I once knew."
"What's different?"
"I don't know…." Helmut looked back out the window as if the answer were somewhere in the darkness of the night. "She's just…different."
"She did spend a while without her medication when she was kidnapped," Quinn offered. "Maybe there was some damage that we don't know about—"
"It's not just that. I expected that," said Helmut. "I was told due to the high stress and deprivation, her condition worsened. The doctors changed her prescriptions and boosted her dosage, but…it doesn't seem like it is helping her. It seems like she is getting worse."
"Are you sure she is taking her medicines?"
A waitress came to their table with a notepad in hand to take their order. She addressed Helmut first, asking if he wanted a refill on his glass. Helmut obliged and handed over his near-empty drink.
"And you, miss? Will you be dining with us this evening?"
"Qui," Quinn responded. She gave her order for a tofu turkey sandwich on toasted wheat with an unsweetened iced tea.
The waitress promised to return shortly with her order and picked up Helmut's plate. When she was back to the other side of the checkout counter, Quinn returned to Helmut, making sure to speak low, not to be immediately heard by anyone venturing close to them.
"I'm not around her a lot, but I have noticed that her behavior is a little erratic at times. She is hyper-focused on the mission—almost obsessed with it, really. It worries me."
Helmut nodded in agreement. "I don't ever mind her working late. I understand that she sometimes has to. I just get very concerned when I don't know that she has taken her medicines appropriately. I don't want her to get worse."
"Neither do I."
The two sat for a long moment staring into nothing. Helmut returned to the window, where he felt comfortable reviewing his thoughts while Quinn gazed forlornly at the Formica table. The waitress returned as promised with Quinn's meal and sat it down in front of her. Quinn thanked the waitress, dismissing her. The waitress lingered a moment, looking over Helmut before turning back to her counter.
"I'm sure by now she and Michael have discussed Lizzie. Has Nikita said anything to you about it?"
Helmut turned to Quinn. "What do you mean?"
"Nikita and Michael. I'm pretty sure now that she has told him the truth."
Helmut took a long drink from his glass. "No. She has not mentioned anything about that. Has Michael said anything?"
Quinn shook her head and took a bite of her sandwich.
"I wouldn't imagine he would," Helmut said under his breath. He sighed heavily.
"I'm sure the two of them had a very long discussion about it. It was probably not very comfortable for them, but…it was necessary. He needed to know."
"I don't feel so certain about that," said Helmut. "Just seems to me it's an unnecessary disruption."
"It's only fair to let him know and not drag this thing out. Don't you agree?"
"I agree that he should know…I just wonder if it didn't cause more problems than it solved with him knowing now. What will it change with him learning that Elizabeth is his daughter?" Helmut returned to the window.
"It takes the guessing and wondering out of it," said Quinn. "Nikita doesn't have to wonder whether or not she made the right choice in not telling him from the beginning. She will know now if her marriage to you is real or if it was just something she did to cover up her true feelings."
Helmut gave Quinn a very severe look. His jaw tensed as he pressed his lips together. "Nikita and I were married for real. I didn't marry Anna."
"No. You married Nikita…Or rather a version of her…but the real Nikita remains locked within Michael. The only way to figure out which one truly belongs to you is to force Nikita to make a choice. And for her to make that choice is for Nikita to see Michael for what he really is."
"I still don't see how telling Michael about Elizabeth is going to reveal that to Nikita."
Quinn took a long drink of her tea, giving herself some time to collect her words. She hated seeing Helmut in distress, but there was no other way that she could help him. She knew his pain was going to be part of the process, the same as she knew revealing Nikita's secret to Michael would cause irreparable damage to their relationship.
"Nikita and Michael have to work out their unresolved issues. Elizabeth is a product of that. Michael has to decide what role he wants to play in Nikita's life now that he knows the full truth. If he decides it's best to remain on the outside, then Nikita will have to accept his decision and allow him to move on from her."
"What if he decides that he doesn't want to remain on the outside?"
Quinn drew in a breath and leveled her gaze with Helmut.
"Then…you will have your answer to what you should do. And then you'll have to make a choice…Whether you should stay…"
"Or go…" Helmut finished. He looked back out the window again. "Yeah…"
Quinn reached across the table once more and touched Helmut's hand, this time stroking his fingers lightly with her own.
"I told you that this was not going to be an easy journey. Nikita and Michael have to put to bed whatever was between them. All the cards are out on the table, and now it is left to them to decide how they will play this out. In the end, she will either decide to stay with you…or be with him."
Helmut turned slowly to Quinn. Sorrow flooded his light eyes mixed with a shade of gratitude for Quinn's reassuring touch. He closed his hand on top of hers and cupped her within the warmth of his palms. Quinn gave a small smile in response, appreciative of the gesture that wordlessly spoke his agreement with her. Many words rattled about in her head that she wanted to speak, but she kept her lips tightly closed to them. There would be time enough for her to express her innermost thoughts and reveal her own truths. At the moment, she could only offer a kind smile and a trusting look to Helmut, whom, she supposed, needed above all an anchor to hold on to while he traversed the rough seas of Nikita and Michael. She hated that he was thrown into the middle of them, unaware of the danger that lay in front of him should he misstep. She had seen tragedy happen plenty of times before with those who were caught in their web. Many did not survive, and those that did learned the hard lesson of daring to get between the two.
"I do appreciate you, Katherine," said Helmut. "I'm not sure how I would be able to get through any of this if you weren't there to talk me off the ledge."
"When I found out that Michael was not going to be able to return to his home, that he was going to remain at Section, I knew you were going to need some help. I'm glad to be that for you."
"You've been more than helpful, Katherine. You've been a friend."
Quinn pulled her smile a little wider, still keeping her lips closed to ensure no other words would spill out. Helmut pulled his hands back to himself and gave out a long sigh. He checked his watch and noticed the time.
"Guess I best get back to the homestead. I'm sure Nikita may be wondering where I am by now."
Quinn could not stop the smirk from happening on her face. She quickly tried to cover the expression by taking another drink from her near-empty glass.
"Has she called?"
Helmut considered the question, then looked at his phone. His expression told Quinn that the missed calls he expected to see were not there. He replaced the phone in his coat pocket.
"I still need to get back home. Thank you for dinner and the talk tonight."
"Thank you. I'm glad you stayed and waited."
Helmut rose from his seat. He bent forward, taking Quinn's hand into his own, and kissed her fingers lightly.
"Merci."
Quinn did not respond but gave a slight nod instead. Helmut pulled together his coat and walked out of the diner. Quinn watched as he crossed the street, heading for the lot where his BMW was parked.
"Your friend seems very nice," said the waitress as she approached the table with the bill. "Are you two dating?"
Quinn looked at the waitress, considering her question. She smiled to herself, then reached into her purse for her wallet. After finding her credit card, she handed it over to the waitress.
"He's a friend," she said succinctly.
"He looked like more than a friend," the waitress observed. She took the bill and the card and headed for the register at the counter.
Nikita looked out the kitchen window at the black and empty streets. Her mind continued to crawl about in a disarray of worrying thoughts about the doctor's report and the results of her last scan. The time lost between appointments was barely noticed, what with Section's sudden influx of high-priority missions assigned to nearly all divisions, with Section One taking on the primary cases. She thought for sure that she had not missed any doctor's visits and that she was more than up-to-date with her dosages. Only to discover that she was more than a few appointments behind and missed a good portion of medicine and treatments as prescribed for her schedule. The only medications that she was consistently taking were beta-blockers to control heart arrhythmias, B6 and B12 vitamins, Cholinesterase inhibitors, and a mild sedative for sleeping. The rest of her prescription schedule was lost in a haze of uncertain memories she could not accurately recall. Along with missing other treatments, Nikita knew what she had believed to be true, that she was on the road towards good health and stabilizing herself, was all a lie told by the evil within her. The monster that was growing inside her brain was slowly taking over, canceling out all that made her who she was and transforming her into something that she no longer recognized but was likely what Operations and Madeline ultimately intended.
Nikita closed her eyes, shaking the thoughts free and letting them fall into the sink. She reached for a glass drying on the counter and filled it with water. She drank it down, heedless of the excess leaking out the corners of her mouth and wetting the collar of her shirt. She drained the glass dry and refilled it again, drinking more as if trying to drown the lingering anxieties she felt still creeping about the edges of her mind.
"Mama, I'm ready for bed," came a small voice from behind her.
Nikita turned and looked at the little blonde-haired girl standing in her powder blue pajamas. Her icicle eyes peered up at Nikita innocently. For a moment, Nikita thought she saw herself at age six, looking back, dressed in a blue medical uniform and holding a panel to her chest. The young girl smiled at Nikita. Behind her, Section's Level 8 buzzed with activity as children of all ages worked in a mock Communications Hub room. A young boy stared over at Nikita with rose-tinted glasses and pink lips. Another boy with dark brown hair to his shoulders, wearing a black suit, gazed at her with vacant light-colored eyes…
"Mama?"
Nikita blinked and found herself back in her kitchen. Lizzie now held a worried expression as she regarded her mother. Nikita offered a relaxed smile and picked the little girl up.
"What is it, pumpkin?"
"I'm ready for bed now," said Lizzie. "I'm tired."
"I bet you are. You've been running around all day today. I bet you're plenty tired."
"I want to go to bed."
"Well, let's go. I'll tuck you in."
Nikita carried her daughter up the steps to her bedroom and deposited her in her bed. She pulled the sheets up to her neck and landed a kiss on her forehead.
"Nightie-night. Sleep tight," said Nikita.
"Where's daddy?"
Nikita thought a moment at the question, realizing that she had not heard Helmut come into the house. She looked at her watch and noted the time. She also noticed that she had not received a call from him letting her know he would be late. Either that or she simply missed the calls and would later discover a string of them on her phone.
"Daddy is at work still," Nikita explained. "Don't worry. He will be home soon."
"He is working late a lot now," Lizzie pointed out. "Just like you used to."
"Well, I'm sure he has a very good reason for working late. Your daddy and I have very important jobs and can't always be home when we want to be."
"Does daddy catch bad guys like you?"
Nikita smiled, enjoying her child's brightness and the simplistic manner in which she understood very complex circumstances.
"Yes. Your daddy catches very bad people and makes sure they can't hurt anyone else."
"You and daddy should be on the same team," said Lizzie.
"We are. We both work together to make sure you are safe and can play all day without worrying about a thing."
Lizzie smiled. Nikita plucked another kiss from her daughter's cheek before reaching for the night light on her bedside table.
"Mama?"
Nikita turned back to Lizzie.
"Do you think Adam can come over one day to play with me?"
"Adam?" Nikita looked confused.
"Yeah, Adam. That other guy's son. The one you said was you and daddy's friend even though daddy doesn't like him. I like playing checkers with him. He always loses."
Nikita let out a short laugh in response. "Well, kiddo, I'll see what I can do."
Nikita lifted from the side of the bed and started for the door.
"Mama?"
Nikita turned. "Yes, pudding?"
"That other guy, Adam's daddy…Is he a bad guy?"
Nikita frowned. "What? No, no, he's not a bad guy. Why would you think that?"
Lizzie shrugged under the covers. "He kinda looked scary. He kept looking at me and then looking at pictures of you. He made me feel weird."
Nikita crossed her arms and thought a moment. She returned to Lizzie's bed and sat down.
"That guy…Adam's dad…Mommie's friend…He is…A very special man, and I'm sure he didn't mean to scare you or make you feel weird. It would be the very last thing he would want you to feel," Nikita said.
"Adam said his daddy kills people," said Lizzie. "He said he was going to kill the people that took you and made you go away for Christmas."
Nikita swallowed hard, remembering Michael and the rescue that nearly took his life. They went through the extraction sequence beat by beat as they so often practiced during her training. Michael left many bodies in his wake, as did Nikita. In the end, had it not been for Michael's calculated theory that Misha would go after him and not shoot Nikita, she might have been counted among the lost.
"Adam's dad, Michael, is his name. He rescued Mommie from the bad people who were going to hurt me. Sometimes, if someone is trying to hurt you really bad, it's okay to…defend yourself to make sure you don't get hurt. Sometimes, if you can't defend yourself, someone else can. Michael isn't a bad man for what he had to do to help bring mommy home safe."
"Is Michael a superhero?" Lizzie's eyes widened at the idea.
"Maybe not in the comic book or movie way," Nikita laughed. "But he is a superhero…to me."
"I'm glad Michael brought you home. Even though we didn't get to spend Christmas at home, I'm glad we were all together."
Nikita smiled. "Me too. We have Michael to thank for that."
"I think I love Michael," Lizzie said decisively. "He saved my Mommie, and he's a superhero, so that makes him extra great. I'm going to thank him the next time I see him."
"I'm sure he would appreciate that."
Nikita kissed Lizzie's forehead once more and stood up. She made her way to the door and took one last look at Lizzie before leaving.
"Goodnight, pumpkin."
"Goodnight, Mommie. I love you."
"I love you more."
"Mommie?"
"Yes, baby?"
"When's daddy coming home?"
Nikita paused just before shutting the door.
"Soon…"