7:30 PM. That's what Dylan Burns could read on his watch. The playboy dirty cop waited patiently on the hood of his car while drinking some beer. Then his teammates arrived : Mary came with her own car,Alex came on foot and Gary rode a skateboard. Everyone gathered next to the Lamborghini.
" Everyone's here... Great. We can initiate the plan soon. "
" Has everyone memorized his role ?! " Mary asked,with authority.
" Yes. " Alex answered.
" Good. Stick to your role and everything's gonna be okay. That's it. "
" Mary,you don't know how to talk like a leader ! " Dylan criticized the woman. " Listen,gentlemen ! Tonight marks the day our team finally returns to force. Tonight,we are gonna to steal a national treasure ! This mission will be dangerous,hardcore,deadly... But we can succeed... Because... "
" Will you shut up already ?! " Alex interrupted the apparently epic speech,which made Mary chuckle under her hand.
" Why ?! Jealous of my talking skill ?! "
" Step out of my way... Or you won't have legs to do that anymore ! "
" Threathening. Just getting better... "
" Guys ! Please. We got a job to do. Plus... " Mary walked to Gary Thatcher and noticed that,despite standing up,he was deeply sleeping,with his head falling to the left. So the woman stomped violently his left foot.
" FUCK ! What the fuck ?! " He said,clutching his foot.
" Heads up buddy ! We got a job to do. If you wanna sleep,head to the morgue. "
" Bitch. "
" Thank you. So... Shall we go ? "
" She gives you no mercy,that's for sure. " Dylan meanly commented.
" It doesn't seem like that,but I'm actually winning. "
After this discussion,everyone went to the tower.
Half an hour later...
Everyone in the party was calmly enjoying the instant by drinking expensive champagnes,chatting and staring at the expositions. Then all of a sudden,two more guests presented themselves to the guard.
" Excuse me. Your ID please ? "
" Daniel Markens and my wife Giselle. " Both presented the ID forged by the agency.
" Wait for a moment. I'll see if your name is here... Well,well... There's a little issue... I met Mr. Daniel Markens last week. And you're not Daniel Markens. So I'll ask you : who are you before I call the security ? "
" Well... That's the thing. I'm Daniel Markens... The second... "
" He doesn't have a son. SECURITY ! "
" AHHHHHHH ! " The woman suddenly knelt and held her belly.
" What's wrong,honey ?! " The man came to her rescue.
" My baby ! It's been only a month and he's already gonna come out ! "
" THE FUCK ?! How is that even possible ?! "
" I don't know... Alcohol,cigarette,drug... FUCK ! DAN ! DO SOMETHING ! MY BABY... "
" Holdonholdonholdonhold... Let's get her to the bathroom ! Come on quick ! "
" Me ?! But... " The man grabbed the guard's forearm and led him and his wife to the corridor leading to the bathroom. Meanwhile,many dozens of guests illegally joined the party.
" Come on,hurry ! The baby will die ! " Everyone walked into the corridor. Suddenly,the woman fell against the wall while holding the belly.
" Honey,are you alright ?! Do you need some time ?! "
" Leave me for a while ! Huff... Puff... It's okay... "
" No ! It's not ! My baby will be born prematurately and you tell me to chill ?! Impossible ! "
" Fuck you,Dy... Daniel ! Just let me. Guard. Bring me to the toilet. "
" Of course. " The man suddenly made the guard trip so this one fell to the woman... who quickly took out a small knife that she stabbed the guard's heart with. Then she stabbed after the abdominal and the throat multiple times before to let him lie to the floor.
" Was that really necessary,Mary ?! " The man asked,furious.
" That guy nearly called the security... and you did NOTHING to prevent it. You should thank me. "
" Whatever. I'll make sure no one is coming. Hide the body into a toilet. " Dylan Burns walked away while his partner dragged the body to the men's toilet.
" No ! Not the men. That's where they'll search first. " Mary quickly changed of toilet before getting out,totally unstained. She was wearing a full red dress with some accessories while Dylan wore a dark suit with a white shirt and a black tie.
" I hate this dress. " She commented.
" If you didn't want to,you should've stayed with Alex... or Gary... "
" Everyone except Gary ! Two minutes with him per day is enough ! "
" Fine. And Alex ?! "
" He needed to be alone. Now let's party... "
" Wait ! Bloodstain ! Look at this long,visible blood trail leading DIRECTLY TO THE BODY ! BITCH ! "
" Shut up. You just have to clean it... Janitor... "
" I ain't doing the janitor's job... " But Mary Simons was already leaving. So,seeing a swab nearby,Dylan,bored,swept the floor where the blood was left.
Meanwhile,at the outside...
Alex was waiting for his partners into a big Jeep. He just waited on the sidewalk,without doing anything else. He looked around,searching for anyone compromising. But nothing.
" Another silent night. " He commented.
Meanwhile,at the rooftop...
Gary Thatcher,wearing a full-black thief's attire with the assassin's hood,ran silently to the back of the building,without being noticed. He stopped a moment,looked up and got impressed by the height,but he left his vertigo aside. He grabbed a rope attached to a hook and threw it to the top of the building.
" How did I do that ?! " He said so. He quickly grabbed the rope and began climbing. He thanked mentally the CEO to have made install opaque glasses,so that no one spied him from the inside. So he kept climbing. All of a sudden,he heard a familiar sound... a sound of motor rolling. He looked everywhere and spotted... an helicopter coming to his direction.
Despite it was far away,Gary got panicked.
" Gotta split or he'll see me ! " The amateur thief grabbed the rope and tried to climb faster. But his speed was the same,going upward. So he decided to run to the right to gain more speed. It worked so he ran then jump to reach the other side. He managed to escape right at the moment the chopper was lighting his last position.
Seeing the chopper leaving,the lucky thief tried to climb to the up,but the rope led him to the last wall,so he flew while holding the rope then accidentally dropped it. At that moment,he knew he was gonna know one of the most stupid deaths in the world.
He began seeing his life pass in front of his eyes : his birth,his childhood,his first kiss,his studies,his first sex,his assassin life,the day his family rejected and the day he met Sandra. Gary closed his eyes and raised his arms like in Crank. He left ready to know his sad fate... until he fell onto the cleaner's elevator,bumping his skull onto the steel.
Hurt,he held his skull before the cleaner helped him.
" Are you okay ?! Why the fuck are you doing this ?! " After he got back on his feet,Thatcher took out a Desert Eagle and threathened the witness.
" Bring me to the roof. " The man obeyed.
When they both arrived at destination,Gary climbed down the elevator and left the man alone.
" Sorry to bother you. Have a nice night ! " He put the gun back into his pants.
" What a weirdo. " The witness commented.
Gary Thatcher went to pick up his grappling hook then explored the place where he was. Finally,he found the balcony mentioned before. He went to enter inside but he quickly encountered the guard. He hid behind a wall and waited a while. The guard turned around then,sitting on a chair,played some video games.
Gary tried his chance and searched for a weapon in his backpack. The closest he came to the guard,the slowest he searched the weapon. Each step he took,he went more and more silently. Finally,when he was close enough,he raised his arm... and hit the enemy with a banana !
The guard,obviously,turned around and spotted him. But rather than ringing the alarm,he stared at him,shocked.
" Really ?! A banana ?! Couldn't you just punch me to the head,no ?! "
" Yeah... Yeah I should've done that ! " Suddenly,a punch landed on the guard's face. He directly slept on his desk before being dragged out by the thief. This one sat down and hacked the system. He accessed to the surveillance cameras and disabled all of them. Satisfied,he put his feet on the table and lied on his chair. Then he called someone with the phone of the building.
" Hello,Pizza Luigi !... "
Meanwhile,at the party...
" You know what's the child of a tooth ?! Tootsie ! " Dylan and a few ladies burst out laughing,while Mary,disgusted and bored,drank some red wine. After that,she smashed violently her glass to the table then faced the gentleman.
" In case you would ignore that,your jokes sucks ! "
" It sucks ?! Have you looked at your dress... Honey ?! "
" Ohoohohoh ! My love... I hate this dress... I never wanted to wear it ! "
" Well you need to make some sacrifices to a accomplish a mission ?! "
" Mission ?! You think you're a supersoldier of what ?! "
" No ! I'm a goddamn thief ! And I'm about to destroy... Once I steal that damn secret statue... " All of a sudden,Mary slapped Dylan so hard he fell to the floor. The real reason it happened was because Mary noticed Dylan had actually drunk too much alcohol and that he just revealed everyone they knew about the statue of Stucazel.
Mary got up her "husband" and helped him get a hold of himself.
" Honey,you're talking nonsense ! You drank too much again ! Let's go home ! " Dylan let his friend roll his own arm around her shoulders and lead him to the elevators. Mary planned to lead them to the 20th floor. But at the moment they were facing the elevator,two security guards stepped in front of them and blocked them.
" Sorry. My man is too drunk. I'm bringing him home... "
" Wait,miss. You must come with us. "
" Alright. I'll leave my husband out with... "
" Both of you. "
" Why ?! "
" We would like to talk to you about the fact... Your husband might have mentioned something about... a secret statue. " The second guard said next.
Shit ! We're fucked. Mary thought.
" Secret statue ?! He watched too many Indiana Jones ! Forgive the confusion... "
" Come with us now... Bitch ! " The guard strangely grabbed the lady's forearm and tried to pull her to them. But she resisted and stared angrily at them.
" Gentlemen. You've got five seconds to let us go... Or I break your faces to both of you ! "
" If you do so,we would have no choice... But to neutralize you. Do you wanna take the risk ?! "
" Five seconds reached ! " And then,Mary Simons punched the first guard to the nose,bleeding him. Then,at the same time,she pushed Dylan down who fell down to the floor and she tackled the second guard against the wall. Meanwhile,the former guard saw Dylan KO and tried to drag him out,but the man got up,raised him and lifted him against the wall to smash him.
But the enemy,taking advantage of the alcohol,smashed his back with his fists before to knee him to the torso and punch him to the cheek. Mary traded punches with the professional guard and after seven seconds,she grabbed the right arm then twisted it before to maneuver a headscissors and a hurricanrana which sent him to one of the exposition : an ancient vase. The vase fell out but Simons grabbed it in extremis and gave it to a random guest.
Gary Thatcher was enjoying the show from his control room while eating pizzas. Suddenly the guard from earlier,with his bleeding nose,strangled him with his nightstick. In consequence,the pizza box and the pizzas fell to the floor.
Meanwhile,Dylan,who slowly recovered from his alcohol,got up and pleaded for a break. But the bleeding guard ignored him and went to maneuver a push kick. Suddenly,the gentleman grabbed his right foot and broke the right knee by punching it. The guard lied on the floor and cried.
" And that's how you kick asses ! " He said to the public before Mary called him.
While they left,the femme fatale kicked the second guard to the face,knocking him out.
After Dylan pushed the button,he asked a question to Mary.
" Did the guard... see your pan... "
" Shut up and get in ! "
Meanwhile...
Sitting on the chair,Gary tried his hard to escape the grapple,but the enemy was too strong. So he decided to fall to the left and roll to the pizza box.
" Surrender and I won't kill you. " The guard said before Thatcher threw a pizza slice to his face. Offensed,he threw the pizza away and rushed to him. He got him up and threw him onto the desk; Gary accidentally enabled the button to show up what happened in the party room. The guard saw his two partners with their asses kicked and the vase missing.
" Son of a bitch ! Is this your accomplices' doings ?! " Before he could get his answer,Thatcher tried to punch him,but the guard slammed his face onto the desk and suffocated him. Gary searched for something with his right hand; he found the phone from before. Hopefully,he forgot to put it back,so he easily grabbed the long bat and smashed the opponent's face with it.
He unplugged the phone and threw all of it on the enemy who easily dodged. He took out a pistol and shot... but nothing happened. He checked the ammos... and discovered it was empty. As soon as he looked up,he got shot at the belly,the heart and the eye.
Gary Thatcher got up,raising his smoking gun and panting. He put it bacl where it was and took out the magazine he stole.
" Didn't see that coming ?! " He taunted the dead guard. Then he returned to the cameras and kept watching everything was cool.
Meanwhile...
Alex was still waiting. He suddenly decided to take out the photos of his parents. He felt a lot of sadness seeing it.
" I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough... " He said,tears falling from his eyes.
Suddenly,he saw a girl being groped by three men. Alex came out instinctively,unconsciously,and came to their encounter.
" What's up guys ?! " He asked angrily.
" What's it ?! Mind your business. We're playing ! "
" They are lying ! They were raping me ?! " She said before one of them shut her up with his hand.
" Fuck off ! Or you'll regret it. "
" I regret many things in my life... but not this,trust me. "
" So be it. " The leader took out his pocket knife and raised it to his face. Quickly,Richardson grabbed the blade and folded it like paper. Scared,the leader screamed and punched him. But Alex grabbed the fist and headbutted him,knocking him out.
The others jumped to him at the same time,but Alex shoved them back. Then they came one after the other; Alex punched the first one to death then broke the other one's neck like a champagne bottle. Suddenly,someone stabbed him to the ribs with the pokcet knife... it was the victim. He understood it was a setup.
" YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND,YOU BITCH ! " But Alex quickly took out the knife and threw it; the woman,without more resistance,ran away safely. Despite being wounded to the ribs,Alex calmly returned to the car.
" Why did I do that ?! "
Meanwhile...
Dylan Burns and Mary Simons arrived at the 20th building.
" This is where the magic starts. " Burns said before ripping off the button and finding the 21th button. He pressed it while mocking silently Mary. Then the elevator moved and,after a while,the doors opened and they arrived in front of an empty grey corridor.
" It's obvious there are hidden lasers. " Burns said,despite being ignored by the woman. " Don't worry. I stole this idiot's shirt. Maybe there's his ID card to disable this shit... Let me search... " While Dylan had real difficulties with the shirt,Simons grabbed her mini mirror and spreaded some powder everywhere. The lasers appeared clearly.
" Hands down,genius ! " She taunted Dylan,by vengeance. Then she took out a backpack from nowhere and began taking off her dress.
" What are you doing ?! " Burns asked,taken by surprise.
" Look away. " Burns obeyed.
" I saw better naked women than you... Into my beds ! "
" Oh really ?! How many ? "
" If I told you... You would blush. "
" In your dreams. The only time I blush is after I choke someone. " That made Dylan chuckle.
" Anyway... You done ? "
" Of course. " She weakly screamed in his ears. He turned around and saw her new attire : a dark pullover with a black pant and dark shoes,hidden by a black hoodie she put on.
" I saw better. " He told her,unimpressed.
" Let's go. " Mary,alone,went and easily passed through the lasers. She waited for Dylan to pass but instead,he called Gary.
" I need your help,buddy ! "
" Too busy to do exercising ?! Alright,let me... Eat my pizza and then,I'll get those lasers off ! "
After a dozen of seconds,the lasers finally came out. Therefore,the gentleman proudly joines his partner and both faced the vault.
" Dylan ? "
" Yep ?! "
" You're full of shit ! "
" Damn right. At least I didn't meet any laser ! "
" So what's with the fingerprint thing ?! "
" Right : so they installed a fingerprint identifier on the bars. So whenever we touch them,it triggers the machine. "
" So we must open the vault without leaving our fingerprints ?! Easy. " Mary took out two hankerchieves she hid her fingerprints with and grabbed the bars. But despite her maximum strenght,the door didn't budge. So Burns warned Simons.
" One last thing : the door is automatic ! So... I'll call Gar... And he already opened it ! " As soon as he finished talking,the door opens alone and both met,face-to-face... the Statue of Stucazel,centered in the middle of the room like a star. Nothing else was inside.
Burns came forward.. Until Mary prevented him to continue.
" What is it ?! The statue's there ! There's nothing else. "
" One thing about men. "
" Which is ? "
" Too arrogant to be really smart. " And just like that,she powdered the horizon,and dozens of lasers came out by surprise.
" Shit... You won 1 point. But I'll get my revenge. "
" In your dreams. So... Genie,call your buddy. "
" First,this is OUR buddy. Second,I can't. "
" Why ? "
" Look up there. There's a jammer. "
" A jammer ?! "
" Yeah. So he can't see us or hear us. Totally blocked. "
" So... Does that mean what I think it means ?! "
" Fine... Let's go James Bond style. " He responded,mocking.
Quickly,the sexy woman easily dodged all the lasers and reached the statue. When it was his turn,Dylan hesitated a little bit. Then,after slowly walking forward,he asked another question.
" Wait ! Isn't this better that I wait here while you get the... "
" DYLAN ! COME HERE QUICK ! " The gentleman,frightened,ran forward and began dodging. Unlike Mary's gracious dodges,Dylan's was based only on luck and crisped moves. At the end,he sighed.
" No more that again !"
" What ?! Gymnastic skills ?! How were you ? "
" Shut up ! "
" Let's take our precious. "
The glass door opened and Dylan accidentally snorted. Meanwhile,Mary yawned and took the statue... without hesitating. Then she hid it into her jacket before both of them headed back.
" You were supposed to wait midnight ! " Gary critiziced Mary.
" Tell it to Dylan. This bitch drank too much alcohol and nearly got compromised. "
" I saw how you handled those guards. Gotta say... you were exotic ! "
" Finally a compliment. Did a mosquito drink your blood or what ?! "
" Let's just get back to the car. Those lasers got me tired. " Burns interrupted them.
" How should we get out of here ? "
" While Gary finds an easy way to escape,we take the elevator,get to the last floor and blend in as nothing happened.
Later...
When the elevators' doors opened,at their surprise,Dylan and Mary met... Five guards waiting for them with electric nightstick.
" Surrender or you'll suffer 500V ! "
" I know... You take her and you let me go ! She brought me into this ! " He negociated,pushing his partner.
The guard went to handcuff her,when Mary grabbed the tool and handcuffed the right forearm then the other arm,by behind his back. She hid behind him,stole her weapon and threathened everyone.
" Watch out ! We've been trained for this ! " One of them said... before taking his pistol and headshot his partner. Both him and Mary fell to the floor. The four other guard ran to arrest her,but Dylan ran to them and tackled one of them to the floor. He punched him then another tried a Full Nelson. But he countered then he grabbed his right arm and broke it before flipping him.
Meanwhile,Mary threw the body with her feet to the other guards then did a kip-up. She did a spinning roundhouse kick to the first one then she countered three punches befote kneeing the belly and performing five punches to the face. Finally she dragged him to the window... But Dylan stopped her.
" If you break the window,we're doomed. " So she let him go... but Dylan shot him to the head.
" Just in case. Let's go. "
Finally...
Both arrive outside,where they found Alex - who quickly recovered - and search for the last one.
" Where's Gary ? " Dylan asked.
" Probably dead. Dylan. Search his body. " Suddenly,they heard a weak man screaming then falling to the floor next to them. It was Gary.
" I dropped the rope... at the very last moment. "
" Shit. You're still alive. Get up ! " Mary said before Dylan dragged his body to the car.
" Did you wait that long ? " Mary asked Alex.
" Not very much. While you were doing the job,I got stabbed. Routine. "
" But I see no wound. "
" I recover quickly. "
" So,Deadpool... " Dylan,bringing Gary in the back of the car,interrupted both. " Bring us out of here before... Shit. Here they come. "
An army of enemies came out,holding Five-Sevens and firing at them. Alex quickly left with everyone.
Later,in an abandoned warehouse somewhere...
Theresa was waiting for her crew to arrive. She waited standing up,nothing else. Then Alex's car arrived and everyone - except Gary - got out with the statue. Dylan went to search his friend who was suffocating.
" Really nice from you,dickhead. "
" Don't mention it. "
Everyone gathered around the old woman.
" Congratulations ! I see you're holding the statue... Give it to me. "
Mary gave it and Theresa used a magnifying glass on it. After a dozen of seconds,she kept it with her.
" I'm now sure this is true. I'm... proud of you... "
" That's really cute ! Thank you so much ! " Gary commented,armscrossed.
" What'll happen about us ? We stole a national treasure. " Dylan asked.
" Don't worry about that... You have been probably followed. " That literally scared everyone. " No kidding. So someone will quickly come here give us the money... Oh here he is. "
Another gangster came with a briefcase,giving it to Theresa who exchanged with the statue. Then he quickly left.
" What will he do with the shit ? "
" He can keep it for a while before giving it back to the russian authorities. So... Here's $10,000,000 ! I suggest I take the half in my bag to bring it to Sylvester while you... deal with the rest.
" Won't you have your cur,ma'm ? "
" My husband is rich ! He's got way more money than that. Enough to make live our three children.
" How old are they ?! " Gary wondered
" 14,11 and 7. Why ?! "
" How old are YOU ? "
" It is not very polite asking that to a woman. " Mary stomped his feet again.
" Get off... 39 years old ! "
" How did you... "
" I'm a fucking hacker. In your opinion,how many times did I spy on your mobile ? "
" Tell me. "
" How many stars are there in the sky ?! "
" That much ? "
" I suggest I leave you chat along while I... depart. Goodnight everyone. " The elegant woman gently left them all,with 5 millions dollars.
" So we just... Take each a million. " As soon as Dylan said that,each thief took his cut. " And what about the last million ? "
" Yeah. I thought the lady was gonna take it for her. " Alex said.
" Riches are so... annoying. " Mary commented. Everyone stared at the money left. Then,after five seconds,Gary Thatcher grabbed the briefcase with the remaining money... and run away
" IT'S MY MONEY NOW ! " But he bumped against a wall and quickly got up. " Where's the exit ? "
" Right on your right... Right there. You missed one step. " Burns guided him,allowing him to run away on foot. Everyone else ignored him.
" At least that's done. So... I suggest we part away... alone. "
" I would say it was a pleasure working with you... But I hate to lie. " Mary explained.
" I just wanna go. So... Take care. " Alex climbed into his car and left. Meanwhile Mary joined her car which was hidden somewhere and Dylan made a phone call.
" Hello honey ! "
" DYLAN ?! I miss your dick. "
" I also miss your delicious pussy. So,how about you take me to your house... and we end what we started ? "
" Mmmm... You're teasing me,man. Don't move,I'm coming. But which car should I take ? "
" ...Take the chopper. "