Chapter 7
It had been three months since Jarrod had seen Juliann. He never told his family about the detour to Jackson or seeing her again. Everyone noticed that he seemed pensive and quiet for a while after he had returned from his trip to Carson City, but no one questioned him.
They had just celebrated the New Year and now it was time to get back to work. Jarrod had taken a few weeks off for the holidays and although the time spent with family usually left him feeling refreshed, he found this year something was missing. Or was it someone? Whenever he thought about the time he'd spent with Juliann, he knew he didn't regret being with her. No, it was the circumstances that surrounded it that bothered him most. He had known it would be wonderful to hold her in his arms, to touch her in such an intimate way. Perhaps, what he regretted most, was the fact he felt he had not fought hard enough to win her heart so many years ago.
He had just returned from San Francisco and was going to get a few things from his office before heading home. Wearily, he climbed the stairs. Maybe he should have stayed in San Francisco. But, no, missing her didn't stop just because he was away from home. There would be a stack of mail and papers to go through. Perhaps the work would help him focus, keep his mind from straying to her. Putting his bag and hat in the chair by the door, he walked to his desk, tossing his keys into his empty outbox. The inbox was piled high, just as he'd feared. Sighing, he lifted the stack and drew it toward him. The stack tipped over, fanning out on the desktop. A copy of the Stockton Eagle caught his eye. His hands began to shake as he read the frontpage story.
"Former Stockton Resident Convicted of Murder."
He sat down in shock as he read on.
"Juliann Richardson, (nee Stettler), daughter of the late Carl Stettler and former Stockton resident Letha Stettler was convicted of murdering her husband, store owner, Simeon Richardson, in the town of Jackson in the overnight on this past October 16. She has been sentenced to life in San Quentin."
Jarrod couldn't breathe. Juliann murdered Simeon. How? October 16. Jarrod jumped up, hurrying to his filing cabinet to rummage for the previous year's calendar. October 16 was a Friday night. That was the night he and Juliann had spent together. Jarrod went back to the paper and read the rest of the article, but it did not offer many more details. He was stunned. Again, the questions surfaced, questions he knew he had to get answers to. He looked up at the clock and saw it was almost nine o'clock. The last train from Stockton to San Francisco would be leaving in fifteen minutes, and he had to be on it. He hastily scribbled a note for his secretary: Mrs. Jones, had to return to S.F. Inform family, potential case has come up. I'll be back as soon as I can. Cancel appts. Will telegram. Jarrod.
She was standing near the edge of a precipice. The pitch darkness was broken only by the occasional streak of lightening, signaling the approaching storm. The thunder sounded in the distance, but she paid no attention. Just a few steps and it would be over. All she had to do was walk over the edge and it would end. She closed her eyes, willing her feet to move, but they seemed rooted to the spot. Her long chestnut colored hair was blown every which way. She could feel the temperature change as the colder air moved in. Goose bumps covered her arms, and she rubbed them absentmindedly. Ever so slightly, her feet moved forward. That's it, she thought. Yes, just a little closer.
She heard someone calling her name, and her heart quickened. She was torn. Did she turn around and face him, or did she continue walking until she fell down the steep rock face? It would hurt, but it would all be over soon. Another step, oh so slow. She was near the edge.
"Juliann."
"Wake up!"
Julian sat up with a start.
"You got company," was all the guard said. She refused to look him in the eye, knowing she would see the lustful look he always gave her. Peterson was the worst of the guards when it came to the treatment of female prisoners. Juliann had heard enough stories about him to know she needed to avoid him at all costs. That was getting harder and harder to do though. He had noticed her, and she knew it was just a matter of time before he was able to get her alone.
She was thankful she had kept her clothes on when she'd lain down. She couldn't imagine what he would have done if she hadn't been dressed. Juliann looked around and saw that they were alone in her cell. Her prison mate, an older, hardened woman named Betty was nowhere to be found.
"Who ya lookin' for?" Peterson asked, his voice rough.
"No one," Juliann replied. The first lesson she'd learned after coming to the prison was that you always answered whatever question was put to you by the guards.
"We're alone it seems," Peterson said, stepping toward her. Juliann lifted her eyes to Peterson and knew that was a mistake. He'd seen her fear.
"I like it when you're afraid of me," he whispered, his foul breath causing Juliann's stomach to lurch.
"Isn't someone waiting for me?" she asked, hoping it would keep Peterson at bay.
"He can wait."
Juliann closed her eyes as Peterson reached out for her.
"Why don't you just leave her alone? You got plenty who are willing!"
Peterson whirled around.
"Keep your mouth shut, Betty. This ain't your concern."
"It is when I have to clean up after your mess. Leave her be!" Betty stood with her arms folded across her chest, giving Peterson what could only be termed as a look of pure hatred.
"Maybe you wanna take her place?" Peterson asked, stepping toward the older woman.
"You ain't got nothing I could use," she spat back at him. Peterson's eyes narrowed and he turned around, grabbing Juliann by the arm. She winced at the pain he was causing but she wouldn't cry out.
"We'll settle this later," he promised as he pushed Juliann out of the cell. She breathed a prayer of thanks for the short reprieve. She knew it was only a matter of time though.
It was almost noon when Jarrod was taken to a small room used for prisoners and visitors. He paced back and forth, unable to make himself sit down. Finally, the door opened, and Juliann came shuffling in. Her feet and hands were bound in chains. She was dressed in regular prison garb and looked as though she had not bathed in weeks. She stared at him in shock, unable to believe he'd come to see her. The guard pushed her forward and instructed her to sit. She did so, then stared at her hands, refusing to meet Jarrod's gaze.
The guard had been instructed to stand outside the door, although this was not customary prison protocol. It was always required that a guard remain with a prisoner, especially one convicted of murder, but since Jarrod had once served on the Reform Board, he had gotten the warden's permission to see her alone.
He sat down across from her, wanting so badly to reach for her hand, but she kept them in her lap.
"Juliann, what happened?" he asked, finally.
She refused to look at him or respond. He didn't understand her silence and tried again.
"I read in the paper you've been convicted of murdering Simeon. Juliann, I don't understand."
"There's nothing to understand," she responded, quietly.
"Look at me, Juliann," he said. Then added softly, "Please, Jules."
Slowly her eyes lifted to meet his. What he saw broke his heart. Her once sparkling blue eyes were dull and lifeless. She'd lost hope.
"I need to know what happened," he said.
"You don't need to know anything, Jarrod. You need to leave."
"Not until I find out what happened! When was Simeon murdered? When was the trial? Who was your defense counsel? Why didn't you contact me?"
"There was no reason to contact you," she said, dully, looking away from him.
"No reason? What about the fact that I could have tried to find out who really did this?"
Juliann, who had been staring at the far wall swung her eyes back to him. He believed she was innocent. He wasn't even questioning that fact. She grew frightened and stood up.
"I want you to leave," she said. Jarrod reached out to touch her, but she moved away.
"No! Just leave me alone! Go home and forget about me, Jarrod. What's done is done. You can't change anything."
Jarrod became angry, his hand tightening into a fist.
"How can I forget about you? How can I let you stay here? Juliann, I know you couldn't have done it. It must have been an accident or maybe someone else did it and you were framed. I'll investigate-"
"NO!" she said.
"Why? Why don't you want me to?" he pleaded.
She turned away from him and closed her eyes briefly. When she turned back around, she noticed he seemed thinner than before and more haggard in appearance. He looked as though he needed a good night's sleep. She couldn't bear to have him see her like this: shackled, dressed in a dirty prison uniform, being escorted by an equally ill-kempt prison guard. She knew Jarrod well enough that he wouldn't leave things alone until he found out the truth. She squared her shoulders, resolving to do whatever she could to drive him away.
"Why would you Jarrod? Why would you want to find out? So you can be my knight in shining armor? So you can 'save' me? The great Jarrod Barkley, defending another lost cause," she said, repeating words he'd spoken to her the night in his office after the church picnic. "I don't want you to save me. What I want, is to forget about you, and my life before. Nothing before matters."
"So our time together meant nothing to you?" Jarrod asked. Juliann watched his stunned expression and almost gave in to her desire to tell him it had meant the world to her to be in his arms. Their night of passion would forever sustain her in this dank, dark hell hole she was in. But she had to make him forget about her. He had to leave things the way they were because the truth could only bring heartache.
"No, it meant nothing," she said coldly. She watched as his eyes, once filled with warmth, now looked cold and menacing. She was succeeding in her quest to make him believe for the second time in her life that she didn't care for him and he would never know how much it cost her.
Without another word, Jarrod walked to the door and pounded on it. He refused to look back at Juliann when he left the room. He walked out to the waiting carriage and ordered the driver to take him to his townhouse. He was so distracted by his anger toward Juliann that he missed the familiar face of a man he'd walked past to get to the carriage. Cliff Hyatt stared in shock that Jarrod Barkley was at the prison and then hurried inside to speak to his brother, Cass. He didn't visit often but would try to come by at least once a year. Cliff Hyatt wondered if Barkley was there to check up on his brother.
Cliff Hyatt waited in a small room for over an hour for his brother to be escorted. He'd heard the guards say something about being short handed and needing to go back and forth between the men's and women's sides of the prison. When Cass finally arrived, Cliff noticed he seemed even thinner than the last time he'd seen him.
The guard sat Cass down and then stood close to the door. Escorting prisoners to see visitors was one of his least favorite tasks. Since they were so short-handed, he had to pull double duty which annoyed him all the more. There was a new female prisoner that he wanted to spend time with and being pulled to the men's population was preventing that.
"Was he here to see you?" Cliff asked, Cass looking at him with dull eyes.
"Who?"
"Barkley! I saw him as I was comin' in."
Cass's eyes grew big and he swallowed involuntarily.
"No, I didn't see him."
The conversation between Cass and his brother piqued the guard's interest. He had escorted the female prisoner to see Barkley and was told to wait outside and not stay in the room like usual. It was odd and he wondered who Barkley was and how Cass Hyatt knew him.
The brothers talked for several more minutes and then Cass stood to leave. He was tired. Tired all of the time now and his gut hurt most of time anymore. He'd lost so much weight his clothes were literally falling off of him.
On the way back to his cell, the guard started to ask him questions. Cass thought it was odd because this particular guard was never had any interest in holding a conversation.
"Who's this Barkley fella your brother was talkin' about?"
"No one."
"Tell me. Who is he?"
"Why do you want to know Peterson?" Cass barked back. He knew it was a mistake to talk back but he didn't feel well at all and wanted to just go to his cell and lie down.
Peterson pushed him up against a wall, his face inches from Cass. Peterson's foul breath caused Cass's stomach to lurch.
"Because I want to know. Who is he?" Peterson asked again menacingly.
"He was the lawyer who put me in here 10 years ago. Then when I got out, I found him and killed his wife. Satisfied?"
Peterson's eyes grew wide. His respect for Hyatt grew. Peterson normally didn't care for Hyatt and thought he was weak but finding out this new information might serve a purpose. He then wondered what Barkley was to the female prisoner he'd visited that afternoon. Peterson shoved Hyatt to get him to move and put him back in his cell. He had some thinking to do about his next move.
Something in Jarrod died when he heard Juliann say their time together in Jackson had meant nothing to her. He sat before the fireplace, nursing a drink, hoping it would dull some of the pain he was feeling. His gut told him Juliann was innocent. But did he feel that way just because he loved her and didn't want what she'd said to be true? Did their time together really mean so little to her? Jarrod couldn't make himself believe that. She was lying to him and to herself. Why would she do that? he asked himself. Why would she push him away?
He fell asleep in the chair, waking early in the morning, feeling stiff and sore. The sky was gray and a light rain was falling. Jarrod packed his bags again and decided to head for home. There didn't seem to be a reason to stay in San Francisco any longer. By the time he made it to Stockton there was a steady rain falling. Since he hadn't wired ahead to make sure a carriage was waiting for him, Jarrod decided to stay in town for the night. He reserved a room at the hotel then went to his office. He sighed as he sat down at his desk. The couch would have been more comfortable, but he couldn't bring himself to sit there as memories of the night he and Juliann were in his office were still too fresh. He noticed a note from Nick, something about peach contracts but placed it over to the side. He wasn't in the mood to deal with Ranch business right then.
Jarrod swiveled in his chair and faced the window. The stormy day fit his mood. He listened to the rain as it fell, finding the sound soothing. He must have drifted off because when he awoke, it was dark, and the rain had finally stopped. His stomach growled, but Jarrod wasn't interested in food. He sighed as he stood and locked up the office. He made his way to the hotel and up to his room. He ignored the good smells coming from the dining room, thankful no one had stopped him on the way up the stairs. He felt chilled and had a headache. He only wanted to sleep and didn't bother with changing his clothes. He only loosened his tie, then fell onto the bed, drifting off into a restless sleep.
Jarrod awoke sometime later feeling disoriented. His eyes felt heavy as he opened them, and his head pounded. He brought a shaky hand up to his forehead.
"You're awake," said a familiar voice. Jarrod turned his head slightly and looked into the concerned eyes of his mother. It was then Jarrod noticed he was in his own bedroom out at the ranch.
"How," he began, but his throat was too parched to allow him to continue. Victoria gently lifted his head and helped him drink some water. Jarrod lay back down, exhausted from the effort.
"How did I get back here?" he asked.
"Harold at the hotel desk grew concerned when you didn't check out at the regular time and he found you burning up with fever. Fred came to tell us you were ill, and we brought you back here two days ago. Your fever finally broke last night."
Jarrod nodded slightly, but the effort cost him.
"My head," he whispered.
"Dr. Merar left some headache powders for you. Would you like some?"
"Yes," came the weak reply. Jarrod dozed while Victoria mixed the powder with water then she gently awakened him. By the time he'd finished drinking the bitter liquid, he had no strength left.
"Just rest, Jarrod. Your body has been through a lot the last few days," Victoria said softly. Jarrod nodded, swallowing hard against the ache in his throat. So has my heart, he wanted to say. But he would remain silent, not wanting his mother to know what he'd done. How would she react if she found out about the sin he'd committed? At the time it happened, he thought it was all worth it. Now, it seemed it wasn't worth it at all.