Chapter 7: Lovesong

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to write this chapter. Things have been a little bit crazy! I hope you enjoy and please review if you would like, I'd love to hear your guys opinions. I am especially worried about dialogue. It's very tough.

If Fitz wasn't so in his head, he probably would've cussed out the morning trainer. Instead the robotic, repetitive movements of squats and star jumps felt like nothing. His mind was still stuck on the intrusive thoughts – the first thing to greet him when he had awoken that morning. "Stupid, worthless waste of space." How shitty they made him feel. Maybe he should tell Clare. She seemed different to the other staff members. But would she take him seriously? O ignore him like the others. He couldn't be sure, and was afraid to find out and ruin her angelic image. He needed something to cling to in this hell hole of a place.

Despite not feeling much during the actual exercise, he began to feel in during breakfast. Pain had shot through his arms and legs as soon as he sat down to eat. It was his first breakfast here, and surprisingly it was pretty good. One place he had gone to might as well have called itself a prison because the food was so crap he could barely eat a thing. Here a full buffet spread was laid out. Kind of like when you go to some hotel and they offer continental breakfast. Not that he had done that in a while. The bloke he sat next to wasn't too bad either. Offering a nod as a greeting and going back to his food. He liked that, he hated people who talked too much. They were always shallow, not introspective enough.

Or maybe it was because he was too introspective. Always stuck in his own thoughts, always tossing one idea back and forth, waiting for his brain to finally shut up about it so he could go about his day. Usually he was inpatient, and he would swallow a bunch of pills just to feel some sense of quiet. Fuck he missed pills. He knew, deep down, that he had a problem and the way he was self-medicating didn't help. However, he didn't know what else to do. It wasn't like anyone took his problems seriously. He was some lowlife, out to score drugs, that's all they thought of him.

He was just waiting for when he could see Clare next. Determined to get her to blush more. He had become pretty sure she and the freak of a therapist were involved somehow, but he didn't care. He thought she was hot and that's all that mattered to him. He would do his time here and hopefully do her. It was all he could ask from a place like this. Keep him out of jail and keep him laid.

Finally it had become time to have his daily check up with Clare. Fitz was kind of surprised he hadn't seen her at breakfast, maybe she had been running late. Or maybe she skipped whatever. He had had group right beforehand and it was just as dull and tragic and fake as it had been the first time he went. Absolutely pathetic. But never mind that it was time to see his angel. She had come to his room so he stayed sat on his bed, more than a little excited.

"Hello Fitz, how was your first night sleep here?"

"Shit."

"Care to elaborate?"

"Not really, no."

This didn't seem to be the answer she was looking for, as she sighed and shook her head slightly. He had decided that he didn't trust her yet to tell her much. His fear that she would be like the others gripped a hold of him tight. It was suffocating almost. Ignoring it however, he decided to focus on the one thing of hers he could trust. Her body. She looked just as cute as she had yesterday, pastel pink scrubs that clung a little to her fuller areas. This has caused Fitz to wonder if he wasn't the first patient to desire her. Surely not, locked up in a place with a nurse this cute?

"Fitz. I know it's tough but you have to actually try and talk to us. How are you ever going to get better if don't?"

This was his chance he reckoned. "Look I'll talk, but you got to come sit next to me."

It was clear he had caught her off guard, her breath hitched and she looked towards the door. Almost as if she was looking out for someone to bust through it at the very idea of her sitting so close to a patient. She had done it a couple of times before, but ever since the last incident, she stayed stood on the opposite side to him. To be fair, even though this was a rouse to get physically close to him, he didn't like how she was standing like that. It made him antsy.

"Okay."

She shouldn't have done it. Sat next to Fitz that day. It started a chain of reaction that she could no longer control. It had been going fine for a bit. He let her into his mind a little, talking about how he couldn't get his brain to shut up. When she had asked him about what kind of thoughts he had been having though, well that made him mute completely. It was something she was sure they could work on, but that wasn't what happened next.

No. Instead of trying to pry deeper and have a better discussion with this patient, his hand had found its way to her knee, and then it slowly trailed up and down her thigh gently. She should have told him to stop, but the feeling was so tender and soft. Completely different to the possessive grabbing Eli often partook in. It was the kind of feeling she had been craving, the kind of touch that made her melt and feel like she was the only person in the world. That affection moving up onto her side, across her back and finally clutching at the opposite side of her body. He had embraced her and she had let him.

"Do you like this?" His breath tickled her ear as he whispered softly into it.

She dared not speak, not trusting herself. Instead she nodded. It was like she was under a trance, but that trance was soon broken as Fitz took things a step further. Moving from her ear to her neck he planted soft kisses on her skin. Chapped lips never felt so much like velvet and she could feel a moan escape her lips. The sound of it crashing deafeningly on her ears as she realised what was going on. She couldn't do this! What about Eli, what about her job? This was highly unethical.

Jumping out of his grasp, she hurriedly spat out the words, "I have to go!" and ran out the door. Away from the massive mistake she made, away from the guilt and terror.