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I stood in the open motionless clearing, ankle high grass blades tickling my legs. Before me was a boulder, a blister in the flat field. I held the amulet within my palm, clenching it tightly with closed eyes, attempting to move the large rock. It wouldn't budge. I sighed, releasing my tight grip and held the jewel by my side. Despite knowing this was my mindscape, where I am supposedly able to do anything I can conceive, my abilities with the amulet mirror those of when I'm awake. Frustrated, I snapped, causing the boulder to disappear.
"I see you are beginning to understand the amulet," Alex stated, walking up to me.
"Nope," I replied, lightly tossing the artifact in the air. "This thing still doesn't make a lick of sense to me."
"You were able to summon a shield," Alex remarked. "Something Gideon was never able to accomplish."
"But I didn't do that." I gazed at the colorful sky that the amulet provided a few days ago, the unsettling bland grey was no more. "I was desperate at that moment, and allowed the amulet to take over." I sighed. "I gave in."
"That's not how I see it."
"What do you mean?"
"I believe the amulet made a choice in that moment, and it chose to save you." I raised an eyebrow at this. "Hear me out." Alex said, setting a hand on my shoulder. "I am here to help, after all." I nodded, prompting the god to continue. "Think of the amulet's previous owner."
"A power hungry demon child."
"More or less." Alex agreed. "So here is the amulet now, freed from its old master that only used its power for manipulation and lies. It's liberator does not wish to use the artifact to its full extent, afraid of losing themselves. So when the amulet's new master is in peril, it reaches out, afraid to lose them."
"But why would it want to save me?" I asked, pulling the artifact out of my pocket, scanning its bright red center.
"Well, when you used it, it was for training or defense, not aggressive attack. This is something the amulet has more than likely never experienced before."
"So Gideon constantly forced his will upon it." I looked at Alex. "Did he hurt it?"
"In a way, yes." he answered. "This powerful artifact has endured a great amount of pain. After you unknowingly allowed the amulet to look into your heart, it saw that you do not wish to harm, but to protect. It adapted."
"I guess it's a good thing I like shields," I mentioned, making the god chuckle.
"Indeed."
#
Late mornings at the Mystery Shack on the weekends are somehow always one of the busiest times of the week. It's around the time when families burst in with broad smiles after a nice morning breakfast, excited to spend as much money as possible. This of course is not a downside in Stan's greedy eyes. However, since the employees are forced to work through the first half of the day and skip out on their first meal, they tend to be a bit cranky.
"Grunkle Staaaaaan!" Mabel called near a group of tourists outside the Mystery Shack. She quickly noticed he was not among them. "Have any of you dupes seen an old man with an eyepatch around here?" she asked. "Looks like he skipped out on leg day for the last thirty five years of his life?" The group just looked at her in confusion. "No?" Still no answer. "Okay, then. Carry on!" She walked around the property, finding the back entrance of the Shack and stepped inside, thinking she might catch her grunkle slacking off in the den. Surprisingly, he wasn't. Mabel then pushed through the employees only door and she spotted me leaning against the wall with a hand covering my face.
"Do you know where Grunkle Stan is?" Mabel asked impatiently. "I have a stomach that needs food."
"So do I Mabel," I sighed. "So do I. But we can't do anything about that right now." I pointed across the room to Stan behind the cashier counter. He was talking to Tyler Cutebiker.
"How about these crystals?" The con man offered his customer.
"Ha ha! Looks like broken glass," Tyler chuckled, peering into the bowl of the totally completely natural crystals.
"What are you, a cop?" Stan accused, pulling the bowl away from him.
"Oh what is that new thing?" the clueless man exclaimed as Dipper walked in through the giftshop door.
"Grunkle Stan," he began, "can we go to the diner?"
"Oh my gosh, please!" I called from across the room. "Mabel and I are starving."
"Yeah sure," Stan replied. "As soon as this yahoo makes up his mind." He pointed to Tyler across the gift shop.
"Do you have this in another animal?" he asked, rubbing a singing fish displayed on the wall.
"I'm fine locking him inside if you are," Stan declared seriously. The twins and I nodded. Moments later we were on the porch, jamming a wooden plank into the door handle so Tyler couldn't escape. After making sure the open sign was switched to closed, the four of us dashed to Stan's car with broad smiles.
A few achingly long minutes later, we stepped into Greasy's Diner, stomachs growling. We waved to Wendy sitting next to her dad at the counter, she waved back with a smile. While she would've liked to speak with us, today was her day off and she was going to avoid talking to Stan if she could. Any normal person would. After a brief moment of looking over the menu, and Mabel balancing a spoon on her face, a waitress walked up to our booth.
"Lazy Susan!" Stan exclaimed. "There's my little ray of sunshine!" He began to raise his eyebrows up and down repeatedly. "Where were you yesterday?"
"I got hit by a bus!" Susan replied nonchalantly. Causing Stan to laugh, banging a fist on the table.
"Hilarious!"
"Thank you." she began to laugh awkwardly.
"You do split plates right?" Stan asked.
"Maybe." Susan put a finger up to her lazy eyelid and physically opened and closed it. "Wink."
"Great!" We'll all split one-fourth of the number seven, plus a free salad dressing for the lady and a small plate of ketchup for the boys." Stan tipped his fez at Susan as she walked away to put the order in.
"But Grunkle Stan," Mabel whined, tugging at her grunkle's sleeve "I wanted pancakes."
"With the fancy flour they use these days?" Stan remarked. "What am I made of money!" He threw his hands into the air and a twenty slipped loose of his shirt cuff. Before he could tap it back in, I snagged it.
"Hey Susan!" I called, eyeing Stan while throwing the cash in my pocket. "Can you add a Taylor Ham egg and cheese sandwich to that order please?"
"Sure thing, sweety!" She called back, almost making me gag. Stan's face lit up.
"Ha! Look at you! A lady's man!" Stan complimented. "I'll let you keep that cash for that."
"Wow," I said dryly, "Thanks, Stan."
"No problem, kid!"
Mabel displayed disappointment on her face and allowed the spoon she was balancing to fall right off her nose. Dipper, hearing the metallic clang of the spoon on the hardwood table, noticed her downcast demeanor. Feeling bad for his sister and himself, he was hungry too after all, Dipper caught sight of a machine Labeled the 'Manliness Tester' game that awarded free pancakes if won. I followed the preteen's gaze and frowned. This wasn't going to be good.
"Don't worry, guys," Dipper began with a crack of his knuckles, "Pancakes are on me." He pointed to the machine across the diner. "I'm gonna win some by beating that manliness tester."
"Manliness tester?" Stan asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Beating?" Mabel jumped in, mirroring her grunkle's expression. The two looked at each other and burst out laughing.
"He says… he says he's," Stan tried to speak but couldn't form a coherent thought with his words, laughing too hard. Despite this however, Dipper knew he was being mocked.
"What?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. "What's so funny?"
"Oh, no offense, Dipper," his sister began, still giggling slightly, "but you're not exactly Manly Mannington."
"Hey! I am too manly... Manny, or whatever it is you just said." Dipper crossed his arms, clearly offended.
"Look, face the music, kid." Stan began. "You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's…" He leaned closer, arching an eyebrow. "...Incident." The mention of the embarrassing event, caused Mabel to bite her lip, trying not to further embarrass her brother.
"I can't believe you were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation BABBA?" She had to cover her mouth to prevent herself from laughing.
"Alright, listen," I jutted in, having enough of Dipper getting grilled for no good reason, "BABBA has put out some catchy songs." I threw my arm around the twelve year old's shoulders. "So what if he likes the music? You gonna make fun of me because I like it too?" Mabel rubbed the back of her neck while Stan rolled his eyes, either feeling some sort of guilt or annoyed I ruined his fun. I released my hold on Dipper and stood up out of the booth.
"Where are you goin', spoil-sport?" the con man asked, crossing his arms.
"To win some pancakes," I replied, walking up to the machine. I stepped closer to the Manliness Tester, eyes from around the diner began to stare at me.
I gripped the game's handle tightly with one hand and clenched the amulet in my pocket with the other. Gradually, I began to apply pressure on the handle, watching the light on the game rise through its ranking system. While it was clear I would win the status of 'Manly Man' through the use of the amulet's power, the hand gripping the jewel began to sting. Despite the sudden and very unexpected pain, I grasped the artifact tighter until the machine's built in bell dinged. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been keeping in and the whole diner cheered as I grabbed my prize of free pancakes.
"I'm gonna go take a walk," I stated after bringing the food back to the booth. Mabel and Stan shrugged indifferently, happy for the free meal. Dipper however caught my gaze and held it for a brief moment, before he could say anything I turned for the door. Subconsciously, I attempted to shake away the pain in my hand as I stepped out of the diner and down the street.
Once outside and walking along the sidewalk, I ran my stinging hand along my face. I shouldn't have used the amulet like that, it was greedy, even if I was trying to save Dipper a good deal of embarrassment. I took the artifact out of my pocket and peered cautiously at it. I had forced my selfish will upon it, just like Gideon had done countless times. I must have hurt it again.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, rubbing my thumb across the glossy jewel. "One day, I'll figure you out." A single red pulse of light radiated off the artifact.
"Matt!" a voice called, tearing my gaze from the amulet. "Wait up!" It was Dipper running down the sidewalk after me. I set the amulet back in my pocket.
"Sorry about leaving like that," I apologized, rubbing my hand softly once he reached me. "Just needed some fresh air, that's all."
"It's fine." He was panting slightly after his sprint. "You didn't have to do that, you know."
"I know." I nodded, mentally having to tell myself to stop rubbing my palm. "But it wasn't cool how they were treating you." I threw my hands in my pockets and continued walking. Dipper followed. "Plus free pancakes didn't sound too bad." He chuckled as we continued walking.
We went a few minutes without saying a word to each other, simply strolling down the street and looking at the buildings in the center of town. I even caught a glimpse of Tony opening his pizzeria for the day, he waved with a smile and I waved back, surprised he remembered me. Dipper noticed this and spoke up.
"How do you do it?" he asked, looking up at me.
"What?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at his question. It was a pretty vague question, and it certainly could lead to an abundance of answers and scenarios.
"You're confidence." He looked down to his feet, afraid to make eye contact. "You're always so positive and self-assured, how do you do it?"
"Uh…" Certainly wasn't expecting that. "Well...I suppose it's because I have a great group of people supporting me." Totally not because I know the future or anything, definitely not that at all. "You, Mabel, Soos, Wendy, sometimes even Stan. That last one's kind of rare though." Dipper nodded in agreement. "Plus, think about all the stuff that we were able to learn about in a couple weeks compared to everyone who's lived here for years. The supernatural experiences that we've handled, quite well might I add, have definitely contributed as well." I looked at Dipper with a small smile.
"But enough about me," I concluded, "why are you asking me this?" He looked back at me, shifting his weight noticeably from foot to foot with each step we took.
"Because I…" Dipper began, rubbing his hands nervously. "Because I want to be like you." Again, was not expecting that. "You're quick on your feet, even quicker with remarks, not to mention your size. Tall and arms that are definitely stronger than noodles."
"You're selling yourself short, man!" I exclaimed, pulling him aside to get a good look at him. "Do you have any idea how much I'd pay to be as smart as you?" His eyes lit up at the compliment. "The plan that you came up with to save your sister a few nights ago? Genius. I know I never would have been able to come up with that." I paused for a moment and ran a hand through my hair. "Do you think I was always like this, because I'll tell you right now at your age, I was about as awkward as they come."
"Really?" He asked, lowering his eyebrows.
"Really!" I threw my arms up in the air, the pain in my hand now gone. "The key, in my eyes, is to be yourself." Dipper raised an eyebrow at this. "Yeah, I know it's cliché but that doesn't mean it's not true, dude." I pointed a finger at his chest. "If people can't or won't like you for how great you are, forget them." I began walking and he followed with a smile. "If you want to work on your physique, then let me know. I'd be more than happy to help you." I turned to look at him. "I'm sure Stan would be too if you asked."
"Yeah," Dipper established, "I'd like that." I smiled at him.
"When do you want to start?"
"...Now?"
"That eager, huh." He nodded. "Sure, we can start now."
A few minutes later, we were standing in the woods, ready to begin. Due to the large pine and maple trees surrounding us, the sun struggled to penetrate the leaves to the forest floor. We had decided not to go too far in, able to make out the outline of buildings just a few hundred feet away. Getting attacked by a supernatural creature was not likely this close to civilization and definitely not something anyone would want to end their morning with.
A small stream trickled past, its soft burbling noise setting a calm atmosphere along with the songs of sparrows flying overhead. Dipper had begun to do some stretches after removing his cap and vest, not wanting to get tangled up in his own clothing. I sat on a rock just beside him, leaning forward on my knees.
"The most important thing to remember," I began, watching him intently, "is that you will not receive nor notice any astronomical changes right away. Got it?" He nodded. "This is about building yourself up and you want to do it right. There are no shortcuts, no loopholes, so get any idea of those out of your head. You are starting at a young age, I'll admit, but if you stick to working on yourself, I know you will see promising results later down the line." Dipper stood up straight and eyed me with a small smile. "You ready?" He nodded once more. "Good, start off with jumping jacks, and remember to keep good pace. You don't want to burn out within the first few minutes."
Dipper was actually doing surprisingly well. After going through numerous exercises, he had shown no signs of slowing down. Even if his arms were trembling during pushups and planks or if his legs were wobbly after sprinting in place, he pressed on, ready for what was next. I smiled at his determination.
"Alright, let's take a break," I stated, satisfied with Dipper's performance. He wiped the sweat dripping down his brow with his shirt and sat down, panting. I stepped forward and patted his shoulder. "Good job, you keep this up and you can say goodbye to those noodle arms." Dipper chuckled but was overcome by coughs, his body aching for more oxygen.
"Thanks," he replied after catching his breath.
But then, the ground began to rumble. This, of course, caught us both off guard. Nearby deer birds, rabbits and even a bear began to flee, rushing right past. Then Manly Dan brought up the rear.
"For the love of all that's holy, run!" he screamed, sprinting to safety. Dipper grabbed his vest and hat, and rolled out of the way of a falling tree that most certainly would have crushed him if he hesitated. I pulled Dipper behind a fallen log and whipped out the amulet. During the heart to heart moment the preteen and I had a while ago, I completely forgot that the manotaurs existed. And now one angrily stood before us.
This raised concern, as in the show, the manotaur was not hostile. He was just curious. As he stomped closer, I gripped the amulet tighter with gritted teeth, unsure of what to expect next. The monster quickly flicked aside the log and pressed closer.
"Ah!" Dipper yelped. "Please don't eat me! I haven't showered in a week!" I grimaced and turned to the distressed boy.
"Augh, Dude! Are you serious?" I asked and Dipper nodded. "We'll need to work on that."
"You two!" The manotaur exclaimed, disregarding our conversation. "What are you humans doing out in the forest after destroying our land!"
"I'm not sure I understand," I replied with an arched eyebrow. "We never destroyed any land."
"Yeah man," Dipper began, backing me up, "we wouldn't do that." This seemed to surprise and calm the creature.
"Oh," the manotaur relaxed. "Sorry about that." Dipper tilted his head quizzically.
"You believe us?" Dipper asked, slightly taken aback. "Just like that?' The monster nodded intently.
"Lying to a bro is a strict violation of the bro code," the manotaur answered seriously, slamming a fist into his palm. "Since we're all dudes here, it applies." Dipper looked at me, utterly confused, looking for an answer. I just shrugged.
"Okay, then," Dipper acknowledged. "So what are you, exactly?" He spun a finger in the creature's direction.
"I'm a manotaur!" the manotaur responded, raising both fists into the air. Then, he plunged one down to the forest floor, making Dipper and I bounce. "Half man!" The creature hesitated. "Half, uh...Half taur!" Once the ground stopped shaking from the beast's strength, Dipper and I stood up. Unexpectedly, the manotaur began to sniff the air keenly, slowly drawing his nose nearer and nearer to Dipper.
"Oh! Would you look at that!" The half man half taur exclaimed, pointing to Dipper. "You have been pumping iron, haven't you child."
"No," Dipper replied, rubbing the back of his neck, "not yet."
"I see, you'll get there soon," the manotaur encouraged. "A man-in-training simply must come by the mancave!" The creature turned around and pointed to his back. "Now, climb atop my back hair, children, and I will take you there."
Within mere moments, Dipper and I were clinging to the manotaur's thick body hair for dear life as the beast jumped straight through a tree, splintering it. While the manotaur laughed at his rough form of transportation, Dipper yelped at any slide, jump or landing the beast made. Since I was stronger than Dipper was, I wasn't thrown around as much, but that didn't make the trip any less terrifying.
"Dude, watch out!" the terrified preteeen screamed, pointing to a gorge just ahead. The manotaur ignored him and with a mighty roar, leapt into the air clean over the gap, crashing into a nearby mountainside. Somehow, the beast landed with ease within a cave that resided in said mountainside. "Whoa."
Before us were dozens of manotaurs, all with serious looks on their faces, concentrating on their respective tasks. While a group worked out in the corner, another group were playing games as if their life depended on it. A very intense foosball match was taking place and as one manotaur scored, declaring him the winner, the loser punched him square in the jaw, starting a brawl between the two.
"This place is amazing!" Dipper declared, hopping off the back of his escort. I just fell to the floor, happily embracing the lack of motion.
"Do you wish to become a man?" the beast asked, standing up straight. Dipper nodded enthusiastically before walking alongside the creature. "The gnomes live in the trees, the mer-people live in the water… 'cause they're losers!" I hopped to my feet and marched after the pair. "But we manotaurs crash in the man cave!" The beast picked up a bone and slammed it against a gong resting nearby, grabbing the attention of all the manotaurs in the room.
"Beasts!" The manotaur exclaimed, raising his arms. "I have brought you…" He placed his hand on dipper's back and pushed him forward. "A man in training!" He pushed me forward as well. "And his more manly friend!"
"Sup?" Dipper asked with a shy wave.
"This is, uh, Pubitaur, Testosteraur, Pituitar," the manotaur pointed to the three beasts in the front, "and I'm Chutzpar."
"Why have you brought these two?" Testosteraur demanded, stepping forward.
"To teach this one how to become a man!" Chutzpar, our escort, replied, pointing at Dipper. Testosteraur huffed at this.
"We do not have time to teach this child anything," the beast concluded. "We must find out who has been destroying our land!" Weren't they just messing around a minute ago? I guess that's men for ya.
"You mentioned that earlier," I recalled, looking to Chutzpar. He nodded. "What happened."
"A few days ago," the manotaur explained, "we woke up to find that our sacred back scratching ground had been destroyed!" The beast punched the wall of the cave in annoyance. "We have been trying to find out who would defile such blessed land!" The room fell silent.
"Do you really care about the approval of these guys?" I whispered to Dipper.
"They seem pretty cool," he replied, making me sigh. While I could care less what these man cows thought of me, Dipper was another story. He still had a lot to learn.
"How about this," I spoke up, loud and clear, "I would like to invoke the power of the solid." The entire room, except Dipper, gasped in astonishment at my proposal. "If we find and stop whoever is responsible for destroying your land, you have to label us men." I rolled my eyes at the last part.
"You do realise," Testosteraur began, "that once you invoke the power of the solid, you must fulfil your end, no exceptions."
"Yes, I am aware." I nodded, crossing my arms. "The solid is very powerful and I understand the implications."
"Very well," the manotaur agreed. "We will accept your proposition, but before you go-" he pointed at us- "What are your names?"
"Dipper." Dipper stated confidently, prompting the manotaurs to boo.
"Weak!" one of the beasts cried from across the cave.
"The, uh… Destructor?" he continued, hoping it was enough. It was.
"And what about you, one with red hair, what is your name?" Chutzpar asked.
"Defender," I answered, coming up with the name on the spot.
"Destructor, Defender," Chutzpar began with a nod, "you have been tasked with stopping the ones responsible for degrading our land. Return once your mission is complete, or do not return at all."
#
"You know, when I offered to help you, this isn't exactly what I had in mind," I stated. We had excited the man cave and began our descent down the hill it resided upon. Needless to say, the manotaurs had been surprised by the offer I presented and accepted it gladly. They had told us that their back scratching land was at the base of their hill on the other side. Since neither of us wanted to scale a cliff face that overlooked said land, we decided looping around at the bottom was the safest way to approach our destination.
"This isn't what I had in mind either," Dipper replied, shrugging his shoulders. "We should still help them, though." I sighed and nodded, kicking a stone and sending it rolling down the hill.
"You know you won't actually become a man by doing this, right?" I asked. Dipper scowled, instantly making me regret the words I chose. "Well, that came out wrong." I bopped myself on the forehead. "What I meant was, doing one thing doesn't instantly make you a man. Maybe it does in their world, but not in the real world." Dipper looked at me thoughtfully. "Don't get me wrong, helping people is always a good thing, but it takes years for a boy to become a man." I pointed at myself with a slight smile. "I'm not even all the way there yet."
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
A short walk later, our eyes laid upon the land we were told to inspect. I could understand why the manotaurs were upset about this place being wrecked, many slain trees lay dead on the mossy ground. The strangest part, however, was the fact that the trees appeared to be chopped down as all the stumps were still rooted into the soil. Oh, did I mention they were blue? No? Well, regardless, Dipper kneeled down beside one, running his fingers along the tree's now exposed rings.
"These have certainly been here a while," he remarked, getting to his feet. Dipper took another look at the graveyard of trees. "All of them. They got- had to have been at least five hundred years." I gawked at this.
"How is that even possible. They don't look that big." I remarked and Dipper answered my question with a raised eyebrow and a slight gesture to the color of the bark. "Right." I rolled my eyes at my stupidity. "Supernatural town."
"I suppose these were a part of a species of magic trees...and that sounds ridiculous," he added after taking note of my laughter. Dipper then walked over to another tree and gathered the same information. "Don't you think it's weird that none of them have leaves?" My smile fell. He was right, I hadn't even noticed. If the manotaurs said that this destruction occurred a few days ago, then there should definitely still be leaves on the dead branches.
"What do you make of it?" I asked genuinely, crossing my arms.
"Well, since it is a supernatural race of trees we don't know a lot about it. So it could be entirely possible that the leaves died with the tree or the tree never had leaves to begin with." Even though he had finished speaking, his mouth remained open.
"Or..?"
"Or," he looked at me seriously, "someone tore them off." My eyebrows raised significantly, I hadn't even considered that a possibility either. Voiclessly, I whipped out my phone and began texting someone.
'We need your help. Dipper and I will be at your house in ten.'
Another surprisingly short walk later, I was knocking on a door and within moments the door was pulled open.
"What's up?" Wendy asked, holding the door with one hand while casually resting her hatchet on her shoulder with the other.
"You're dad's a lumberjack right?" I asked, prompting her to nod quickly. "How much has he taught you?"
"Everything he knows," she replied with a smirk, stepping out onto the porch.
"Good." I nodded, smiling back in relief. "I'll explain on the way."
#
"So let me get this straight," Wendy began, pushing some branches aside as she walked after me and Dipper "some mancow monsters got their back scratching land destroyed and they want you guys to find out who did it?" I could tell she couldn't believe what she just said.
Dipper wrung his hands nervously. "When you say it like that, it-"
"Nah," I butted in, "she pretty much hit the nail on the head."
"What are the mancows called again?" Wendy asked.
"Manotaurs," I replied emphasizing the 'man'.
"You sure they're not just minotaurs?"
"Positive," Dipper announced.
Once Wendy laid her eyes upon the group of dead trees, she let out a gasp. Without hesitation, she ran past Dipper and I to the closest tree. Just like Dipper had, Wendy ran her hand along the splintered wood in awe.
"I've never seen this kind of tree before," she mentioned, turning to face us as we approached. "Do you guys know what species this is?"
"No idea," I replied with a chuckle. "We were hoping you might be able to tell us who caused this." Without any indication or warning, Wendy brought her hatchet above her head. I attempted to stop her, raising an arm in her direction but it was useless and she slammed her blade down hard on the bark. I was expecting splinters to go flying everywhere, Dipper suspected the same but nothing of the sort happened. Instead, Wendy's hatchet bounced right off the tree, not even leaving a mark.
"Ha! I knew it!" She exclaimed, setting her hatchet back on her belt. "You can cross lumberjacks off your suspicions list, this bark is way too tough for an axe to cut through. Not to mention this spot is too far away from the lumber mill. No one in their right mind would even attempt to chop one of these babies down if they couldn't be transported." She rubbed the tree trunk once more with a smile. "I bet my dad would try all day to cut one of these down if he had the chance."
"Noted," I replied, lowering my arm. "Sorry for bringing you all the way out here for nothing."
"Are you kidding?" Wendy looked at me as if I were insane. "Mabel asked me to help get Stan back into dating, this is so much cooler and I'm totally stoked to find out who, or I guess what, did this." Her face quickly fell firm with a cough. "That is of course if I'm allowed to tag along."
"Of course you can!" Dipper practically yelled, prompting Wendy to raise an eyebrow at the twelve year old's enthusiasm. I just facepalmed.
"Well great!" Wendy cheered, brushing aside the awkwardness. "We'll find out what punched down these trees in no time!"
I raised an eyebrow and stepped forward trying to get a better look at the stump. "I'm sorry, punched?"I asked skeptically to which the redhead lumberjack nodded.
"See how the bark caves in right there?" She pointed to the severed part of the tree trunk. "Only brute force could have done something like that. Plus, look at the splintering in the phloem and cambium." I looked to Dipper, hoping he would know the meaning of those last two words, he just shrugged.
"The inside part of the tree," Wendy stated duly, noticing our confused faces. We both 'ohh-ed' in response causing her to scoff. "What would you do without me." She took a second glance at one of the trees. "Are those burn marks?" I was going to look at what she was talking about but a growl echoed through the woods behind us.
Without delay, Wendy grabbed me and Dipper and pulled us further into the graveyard of trees, setting us atop a splintered stump.
"What was that?" Dipper whispered, eyes refusing to leave the area where the snarl originated from.
"Black bear," Wendy replied in a heartbeat, recognizing the sound. "If it comes out of the forest, try to make ourselves as big as possible while making loud noises." Dipper and I nodded in understanding. I had grown up where black bears were very common and learned at a young age what to do if you spotted one, I wasn't tensed up like Dipper was. But then I remembered where we were. Gravity Falls does not only have normal bears.
"That's not just any black bear," I remarked nervously. While loudly rustling the leaves, the beast in question emerged into the clearing. Standing on all four of its hind legs and growling with all eight heads, the Multi-bear stepped forward. Wendy's resolute face disappeared and fear was displayed clearly, a rare emotion for the redhead. With one look at Dipper, I could tell he suspected something like this to happen. I wish I was in the same boat.
"Children, why have you defiled such beautiful land?" Multi-bear's main head asked bitterly.
Wendy's jaw fell slack once the eight headed, six legged bear spoke. Sure she's dealt with cursed wax figures, gnomes and even a ghost, but this...this was completely unexpected. "It can talk?" she questioned breathlessly.
Dipper shrugged. "I'm really not surprised at this point."
"What do we call you?" I asked with yet another set of false ignorance. It was really getting annoying having to pretend not to know what was happening.
"I am the Multi-bear, boy," the beast replied, having to slap one of his heads to prevent it from catching a butterfly that floated past its snout.
"Great Multi-bear," I began, hopping off the tree trunk in an attempt to get closer. However, before I could step to the bear, Wendy grabbed my shoulder.
"Dude, are you nuts?" she asked, prompting me to turn and face her. By the look on my face I knew she could tell what I was about to say.
"Trust me." Wendy sighed after I said this, releasing my shoulder. "Great Multi-bear, we were not the ones to destroy the manotaur's land." The bear raised a single eyebrow at my statement. "They sent us to discover who it was."
"I was unaware human's were aware of the supernatural," the bear remarked, raising a paw to it's main chin. "Although, given that you three have not run off screaming yet should have informed me as such."
"Most humans are not aware, no," I continued, pulling the amulet out of my pocket. "But we are acquainted with it enough at this point to help out wherever we can." Dipper nodded in agreement. To prove that I was indeed telling the truth, I used the power of the amulet to pick up a stick near the beast and used it to scratch the creature's back, something one of the heads had been trying to do ever since the bear had arrived.
"I've seen that jewel before," Multi-bear commented, "yet you are not the owner I had last seen it with."
I nodded and gave the beast a clear view of the amulet. "That is correct. Gideon Gleeful was the previous owner of this artifact. After he gave me a very-" I cleared my throat- "thorough demonstration of his power and told me what he had been doing with it, I took it from him."
Multi-bear nodded gratefully. "I thank you for doing that, human. That Gideon Gleeful child abused his power of the amulet in the forest and harmed many of its creatures. I am happy to see that it has found itself in better hands."
"I'm sorry I couldn't help sooner."
"What is done is done, I'm afraid," the Multi-bear replied solemnly. "What are your names, humans?"
"I'm Matt," I replied, pointing to myself, "and that's Wendy and Dipper." I gestured to them respectively. Dipper gave a shy wave, it's not everyday you wave toan octo-headed creature afterall.
Multi-bear, nodded with each of his heads, quite an amusing sight. "Very nice to meet you all. I apologize for my initial hostilities." He pointed to the redhead lumberjack. "When I caught the scent of a Corduroy, I was certain I had finally found who ravished this place."
"You know my dad?" Wendy asked, raising an eyebrow.
"And his father, and his father before his." The bear waved a hand through the air nonchalantly. "Your family has built themselves quite a name around these parts. However, I do not believe 'built' is the right word to use." The beast narrowed his eyes slightly at the lumberjack girl. Wendy knew what he was implying. Her family has been lumbering for decades, more than likely destroying many forest creature's homes and sanctuaries along the way. Great, a talking bear was making her feel guilty.
"Do you have any other ideas who may have done this?" Dipper asked, breaking the awkward tension that settled above them. He understood the Multi-bear's words as well.
"I suppose I do." The beast slapped the head that was trying to catch the butterfly again. "But first may I ask, why have you gotten yourselves involved with the manotaurs? They are not exactly the most pleasant of creatures in these woods." I turned to look at Dipper over my shoulder, watching his cheeks heat up. I rolled my eyes. God forbid he says that he wants to become a man in front of his dream girl, that would be the end of the world.
Realizing that Dipper was not going to say anything, I spoke up. "It is actually quite similar to how we met you." I pointed to the man cave behind us on the hill with a thumb. "One of the members of their, I dunno, tribe? thought we had been destroying their land as well. So we offered to help once we cleared things up. They said once we returned with who was responsible, they would label us men."
The Multi-bear raised an eyebrow at this. "All three of you or…?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Wendy exclaimed, eyeing the bear who shrunk under her gaze. After a few seconds of an intense stare, she broke out into laughter. "Nah, it's all good, man. I'm just bustin ya, I wasn't even there for that part." I saw Dipper give a sigh of relief out the corner of my eye. I shook my head.
"Back to the matter at hand." The beast cleared his throat. "I suppose the only other suspect is the second half of their tribe, the womantaurs." My arms fell slack.
"I'm sorry, the what?" I asked in disbelief. That had to be some sort of joke no way those exis-
"The womantaurs," Muti-bear repeated, slightly confused. "Is 'woman' not a word in your human vernacular?"
"No, no, it is." I shook my head quickly. "I just never considered the possibility of there being another race of cow monsters."
"They are of the same race." The bear looked at me quizzically. "I do not understand what is so hard to grasp. How would a solely male species survive to its next generation if there were no females involved?" I opened my mouth to reply, nothing came out. He had a point.
"Okay then," I began, shaking off the shock of the reveal, "where would we find these womantaurs?"
"And can they use fire?" Wendy asked, looking at the burn marks once more.
"Yes, they are advanced enough to use fire. They actually split away from the manotaurs after a feud recently and made a new home just across this valley." The beast gestured across the clearing and up to another hillside that overlooked the dead trees.
"Not much of an upgrade is it?" Wendy asked and the main bear head shook his head.
"Not really, no," the Multi-bear agreed. He then turned and waved with a paw. "Follow me, children."
The surprisingly civilized eight headed bear began to lead us across the graveyard of fallen blue trees. I was still trying to come up with a name for them and I could tell Dipper was as well. We'll worry about that later. For now, the four of us trekked to the strikingly similar hillside that belonged to these womantaurs.
"Destructor! Defender!" I heard a voice call behind us. I whirled to face the one who shouted, it was Chutzpar. "What are you doing with that eight headed freak!" Multi-bear began to growl, but I set a hand on his thick fur, attempting to calm him.
"What?" Dipper shouted back. "Multi-bear is a pretty cool guy." A gasp came from the surprised manotaur.
"What are you talking about, Destructor?"
"Destructor?" Wendy asked with an arched eyebrow and a smirk causing Dipper to rub the back of his neck.
"The Multi-bear is clearly the one to blame for the damage!" Chutzpar continued. "Now kill him and receive the title of 'man'!" Dipper's eyes went wide.
"No way, Dude!" Wendy called, prompting the manotaur to gasp once more.
"What are you doing in the presence of a woman!" This remark made Wendy roll her eyes. "Defender, surely you'll be sensible about this! Slay the Multi-bear and step away from the girl. She will corrupt your mind!" I chuckled at that last part, so did Wendy.
"Chutzpar," I called, shaking my head and gesturing to the two beings that aggravated him, "these two have helped significantly with our little expedition that you gave us. So here's what's going to happen, we're going to find who did this for you and we'll be out of your hair. If you're acting this way because you don't like these two, then I want nothing to do with your tribe's definition of a man because you clearly aren't one." Dipper looked at me in complete surprise and a slight bit of admiration. "Let's go guys," I said to the group before me, leading them up the hill. With a very audible huff, Chutzpar turned and went back into the man cave, without a doubt telling his brothers about what just transpired.
"What a jerk," Wendy remarked, walking next to me. "Are they all like that?"
"Pretty much," I replied with a sigh. "Why do the manotaurs seem to hate you so much, Multi-bear?" A genuine question, I doubt liking BABBA is the only factor for the apparent deep running hatred for the bear.
"They say I'm a freak of nature," Multi-bear replied dejectedly, "that i'll never have a tribe of my own and that I betray the forest by liking human inventions, even though they love jerky!" The bear took a breath through each of his heads to calm himself. "I enjoy human music, Disco Girl by BABBA is my favorite song." Dipper's eyes lit up.
"Eh, I can bring you some new songs if you'd like," Wendy remarked. "BABBA is a bit outdated." I looked at Dipper, expecting to see his face fall since his crush did not feel the same about the pop group. Instead, Dipper ran to the head of the group to look right at Multi-bear, almost stumbling on the loose soil of the hillside.
"I love BABBA!" Dipper, surprisingly, exclaimed cheerfully. The solemn beast smiled at the preteen boy.
"That is wonderful to hear, young Dipper," Multi-bear joyfully replied. "Perhaps once this is over, we may listen to the music together?" Dipper nodded enthusiastically. "Wonderful! However, I suggest we return our focus to the task at hand because we are here." Dipper now nodded seriously, turning his gleeful gaze to the cave entrance before us.
The womantaur's cave appeared much more inviting compared to the manotaur's, flowers lined the would-be porch, adding much needed color to the bland grey and brown rockface said cave was embedded in. Logs lined the entrance, making it pop out of the hillside. Most notably however, there was no smell of sweat and jerky, something the manotaur's should certainly work on as well.
"Should we just walk in?" Wendy asked, gesturing to the open cave before us.
"No way," I replied, shaking my head, "we have no idea if these womantaurs are hostile or not."
"Well why don't you ask the womantaurs in question?" A voice bellowed from the cave with heavy stomps of feet acquainted with it, making our gazes snap to the entrance. Within moments, what I could only assume was a womantaur stood before us, looking at our relatively tiny forms with squinted eyes. Except for Multi-bear, she paid him no mind. Where the manotaurs were relatively darker in color, the womantaurs, or at least this one, seemed to be covered in much brighter brown hair. A club rested on the creature's shoulder, grasped by a surprisingly well manicured hand, painted nails and everything. No horns protruded out of the female's skull and where the manotaurs only wore towels, luckily, the womantaurs seemed to be slightly more civil. Slightly. The female counterparts wore animal skin over their chests and waists and unfortunately I couldn't tell what animal that skin was from, I just hoped it wasn't human.
"State your business, humans," the womantaur demanded, still ignoring the presence of the eight-headed beast behind us.
Multi-bear spoke up, saying, "We are here to investigate the destruction of the land, surely you've noti-"
"I was not speaking to you, beast." The womantaur eyed the bear for a moment before looking back to the slightly terrified humans before her. At this point, three more womantaurs had gathered near the cave entrance, all armed and ready to strike if need be.
"It is as the Multi-bear said, we are here to-" I began.
"Don't talk to him like that, he didn't do anything wrong," Dipper butted in, defending his new friend. "He's a part of our group."
The womantaur let her club fiercely slam to the cave floor, cracking the stone on impact. Wendy and I took a step back, but Dipper didn't budge. Instead, the preteen crossed his arms and stared at the womantaur.
"Hmm," the beast began, lifting her weapon back to her shoulder, "You've got some guts kid, I like that." She then turned and waved her hand to her comrades, signaling them to stand down. "Come on in." The womantaur quickly turned back to us. "Oh, and make sure you leave your shoes by the door, we just got the floors cleaned." Our gazes shifted to the crack in the floor that the same womantaur had caused moments ago. "We'll fix that later," the beast brushed off, noticing our gazes. We shrugged and stepped inside after taking off our shoes.
"Thank you for standing up for me, friend Dipper," the bear said gratefully.
Dipper patted the beast's side, he was too short to reach his shoulder. "Of course, Multi-bear, we're BABBA bros." The eight-headed beast chuckled at this.
The womantaur leading us into the cave, now sat on a couch crafted from bones. Once again, it was unclear what animal the remnants came from.
"Ah, don't worry about this." the womantaur exclaimed, catching my gaze and slapping her seat with a free hand. "We took this when we moved out of the mancave and don't plan on making anymore." She winked at me, perhaps trying to calm my nerves. She didn't. "My name's Akila. I'm kinda the leader around here ever since we broke away from the stupid manotaurs, bleh!" Akila spit on the floor in disgust. Nice to see they weren't extremely lady-like. "So what brings three humans and the infamous Multi-bear to our cave?"
"Ah yes," I started, snapping back to attention, "we came to find out who destroyed the manotaur's 'sacred' back scratching land."
Akila laughed at this, having to cover her face with her hand. It took me a moment, but I noticed a few other womantaurs were chuckling as well. I raised an eyebrow at their behavior.
"Is that what they told you this land was?" Akila asked, an amused smile dominated her cow-like face when I nodded. "Let me guess, you think it was us who knocked down all those trees too, huh?" I hesitantly nodded again and the womantaur snickered behind her hand. "First off, it wasn't us, that was and still technically is our land as well. And second, that's the land where we give birth to our young." Akila soaked in Dipper and I's uncomfortable faces.
"Classic of boys to get disgusted by feminine stuff," Wendy remarked with a smirk and a chuckle.
"I know!" Akila exclaimed, shooting to her feet. "It's hilarious!"
"Okay, but why pick that location to become a birthing ground?" Dipper asked after a brief moment.
"I'm sure you've noticed the strength of those trees, correct?" the womantaur asked. Once we nodded she gestured to a painting to a baby womantaur/manotaur on the wall. "Our kind wishes our children to be strong and one with their surroundings, what better place for their birth to take place in a set of indestructible trees." Akila cleared her throat. "Once indestructible trees."
"If it's not you guys, then who do you think could have done this?" Wendy asked.
"I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest if the manotaurs are responsible." The womantaur sat back in her boney seat. "They've been looking for a reason to break up our tribe for a while now. What better way than framing us for the destruction of the Occult Trees."
"Occult Trees?" Dipper asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Occult Trees," Akila confirmed with a nod. "They have the toughest bark of any tree and it takes a creature with immense strength to fell one. A group of manotaurs would be able to if they desired."
"But that wouldn't really make sense," I declared, shaking my head respectfully. "The manotaurs never mentioned you once, let alone accused you. After what you told us just now, I don't think the manotaurs or the womantaurs are responsible."
"Then what could have?" Akila leaned forward, hands resting on her knees. "We are the biggest creatures in the area."
"Perhaps it was a beast not from the area," Multi-bear chimed in.
"Hm, it is a possibility," Akila considered. "It has been a warm summer so far, maybe a large creature wandered here in search of water." The womantaur then drummed her fingers on her lap. "We may have a potential lead," she stated before standing up. "Follow me." Akila led us further into the cave, her guards keeping a close eye on us humans and an even closer eye on the multi-headed bear. Thankfully however, these womantaurs have been far more hospitable, not throwing fights or shouting at their guests, a very welcome change of pace.
Akila stopped before a crudely made wooden door. Instead of hinges to allow the door to open or close, the creature who wished to enter had to lift the 'door' and move it to the side, or just knock it down, that would be effective as well. Once the lead womantaur moved the door aside, she gestured our group inside, a grave look on her face. In the room another womantaur laid on a table that was carved from the floor, her right arm completely limp and cascading off the side of the stone table. There were three claw marks that ran deep into the hair and skin of the creature. The beast also appeared to be shivering uncontrollably, odd. It was a very generous temperature inside the womantaur cave, there was no logical reason to be cold in here. Dipper stepped up to the creature, a puzzled look on his face.
"What happened to her?" Dipper asked, turning to the lead womantaur. "She looks in bad shape."
"She was the last one to be in the Occult Trees before they were destroyed," Akila remarked, moving to the side of the room and picking up a bowl. "Her name is Imani. We have no idea what happened to her. However, we found these littered across her body, perhaps a clue." She handed me the bowl in order for me to see what was inside, Akila wasn't about to squat down so I could see the contents. We were pretty small compared to her.
Inside the bowl were a series of thick hair strands, six at least, all dark in color. Dipper and I had seen numerous manotaurs in the mancave with similarly colored locks, but none seemed to have hair this firm.
"Whenever Imani tries to go to sleep," Akila continued, picking up her comrade's hand and rubbing it with her thumb, "she lets out terrified screams. I think she's in pain but our healers cannot find anything wrong with her. " Then she scoffed, letting go of the other womantaur. "I can't believe I'm turning to three humans for help." She ignored Multi-bear once more. "What do you even know about the supernatural?"
"Enough," I replied with a shrug. "And it's not just three humans, we have a Multi-bear. What's with it and everyone hating this guy?" I aimed a thumb at the innocent bear in the corner. "I doubt he did anything wrong."
"I apologize for my behavior," Akila confessed with a sigh. "I suppose spending most of my life with judgmental bullies that call themselves men has had an impact on the way I've acted." The womantaur turned to the bear. "I'm sorry Multi-bear, you are always welcome here if you need a place to rest."
"Thank you, Akila," the eight-headed bear nodded with each of his heads. "If I may, I would like to see this hair." I walked over and held the bowl up to him. Instead of looking at the hair like I and probably everyone else thought, he sniffed the contents of the bowl. The bear had to suppress a gag at it's presumably foul smell. "Just as I thought, goblin hair." He then put a paw to his chin. "Or is it a gremlin's? It's one of the two." I lost all pigment in my face after his remark.
It all made sense now. The burn marks Wendy saw, the thick hair, the uncontrollable shivering and the imobile arm of the other womantaur along with the pure strength of the culprit all pointed to one monster.
"A Gremloblin," I shivered.
"A what?" Multi-bear and Akila asked in unison.
"A Gremloblin," I repeated. "Dipper, journal." After a brief moment of hesitation, he pulled the book out of his vest pocket and tossed it to me, he was surprisingly accurate. Once it was in my grasp I began frantically flipping through the journal's pages.
"I've never heard of such a creature," Multi-bear stated confidently. "Are you sure this beast exists?" I nodded, finding the page and showing it to the group before me. True to its name, the creature showed traits of both a goblin and a gremlin. His eyes lacked pupils on his ugly face. The beast is covered in muscle, has green skin, clumps of body hair, and a prominent lower jaw with two large fangs protruding out of it. Mushrooms coat his shoulders and hair his arms, and his ears are pointed like a bat's.
"They usually live in marsh-y areas since water makes them stronger, maybe pollution or something forced him away from his home," I suggested after everyone got a good look at the picture. "They have long strands of body hair, the ability to breath fire, immense strength and emit neurotoxins from their claws." I gestured to Imani on the stone table. "That's why she can't move that arm. Luckily, a womantaur's immune system seems to be much stronger than most creatures, so the effects should not be permanent."
"What about her shivering?" Wendy asked, getting another look at the monster in the journal.
"She's shaking in fear," I declared. "The Gremloblin also possesses the ability for anything that looks into its eyes to see their worst nightmare, sending them into a petrified state." I passed the journal back to Dipper. "Unfortunately, I don't know how to get someone out of that trance."
Akila walked up to me and set a large hand on my shoulder. "I thank you, human. You have cast great insight on our ordeal."
"Don't thank us yet," I replied with a nervous chuckle, "we still gotta take this thing down."
"I admire your bravery, but there is no need for interference." The womantaur began to walk out the room.
"That's a load of junk and you know it, girlfriend," Wendy exclaimed, halting Akila's movement. "You're planning on going after potentially the most stacked creature in these woods without the guy who not only informed you about it, but knows the most about it as well?" Wendy shook her head. "It's not a smart play." Even the womantaur guards nodded in agreement with the redhead.
The womantaur sighed, turning to face her new companions. "You do have a point, girlfriend," Akila admitted. "What do you propose we do?"
"Well, uh..." the redhead began, not expecting to be put on the spot, eyes looking at her expectantly. "What if we team up with the manotaurs and attempt to scare it off?" The previously supportive guards, gasped in astonishment at her suggestion. "Too soon?"
"Way too soon," Akila confirmed. "I doubt any of us are ready to work alongside those boneheads." The guards slammed the butts of their clubs into the grounds twice in approval of their leader's words.
"I've been meaning to ask," Dipper started sheepishly, "why'd you guys split up anyway?"
The womantaur scoffed at his question, I almost did as well. It's pretty obvious if you ask me.
"You've met them boy, you tell me," the lead womantaur declared. After Dipper gave no response, she began to explain. "The male half of our species has had a false concept of the term 'manliness' for quite some time now. For some reason, they have become driven by their desire to be 'perfect men' even though there is no such thing." Akila paused and sighed, undoubtedly remembering unpleasant memories. "After a while, us girls got sick of it, and a few days ago we left. Didn't even look back while we scrambled to make a living in this valley and to become independent."
"Look I get it," Wendy began, taking a step closer to the womantaur, "ever since my mom died a few years ago, I've been the only girl in the house of four exceptionally manly boys." Dipper and I frowned at this, never really thinking about how difficult it had been for her. I suppose that's where Wendy's determination sprouted from. "Add in the fact that my family comes from a long line of lumberjacks and you've got a girl who's been treated like a guy for almost her entire childhood." She stopped for a moment to take breath. "Just so you know, I'm only going to say this because I've had the experience, but in the end, most guys will do what's right if you talk them down." She then turned to face the males in the room. "Am I right in assuming that guys will follow their pack most of the time?" Dipper just stood there awkwardly while I nodded in confirmation.
"Wendy's right," I began, setting a hand on her shoulder. "Guys can be quite a pain when dealing with a group of them, since a lot of them are always trying to prove that they are relevant or strong. If you separate them, I guarantee you will be able to come up with an agreement with at least a few of the manotaurs." I raised a hand to my chin. "If you ask me, I'd say the real problem is Leaderaur and their high council, the common manotaur is probably terrified to act out independently."
"Who's Leaderaur?" Dipper asked, raising an eyebrow.
My blood ran cold. We never met him when we were in the mancave. I turned to meet Dipper's expectant gaze.
"He's their leader, Chutzpar mentioned him," I replied quickly.
"I don't rem-"
"You must have zoned out or something," I brushed off, hoping to end the conversation. Luckily, I did.
"Alright," Akila spoke up, "we ask individual manotaurs if they would like to help. How do we go about doing that?" We didn't get the chance to consider an option since another womantaur barreled into the room.
"Uh, miss?" the new arrival began timidly. "There are manotaurs at the base of the hill demanding the presence of people named Destructor and Defender. What should we do?" I sighed.
"C'mon, Dip," I said, waving my hand forward, "Let's go see what they want." The preteen, and the rest of the group behind him, left the room and exited the cave. I had to squint for a moment, giving my eyes a chance to adapt back to the glaring sun overhead. It didn't take long to see the small herd of five manotaurs angrily waiting just below the dropoff.
"You called?" I asked, my tone laced with fake enthusiasm.
"Defender," Testosteraur called, "what is the meaning of this?" Chutzpar stood behind his comrade, fists on his hips, staring at Dipper and I. "The Multi-bear is clearly the one who has caused this damage, even Leaderaur has said so! Stop wasting time and kill the beast, now!"
"Dude!" I yelled with a scoff. "How many times am I going to go through this today? Multi-bear has not done anything to receive these accusations and backlash." I glared at Testosteraur. "I don't care what Leaderaur thinks of him either! How about you use common sense and actually think for yourself for once!"
"Defender, kill the beast now or never become a-"
"I don't care!"
Testestoaur, Chutzpaur and the three other manotaurs were taken aback by my statement.
"I really didn't want to believe it but you're all just a bunch of thick headed morons, aren't you?" None of the beasts in question spoke up. "Believe it or not we were actually able to figure out what destroyed the land thanks to everyone behind me right now. And what have you done? Mess around and wrestle each other? You're a bunch of children, not men!"
"That's absurd!" Testosteraur declared. "No child could ever be as strong as us!" The group of manotaurs cheered at his appraisal.
"There's more to being a man than just having muscles!" I fired back. "All I see when I look at you is a baby throwing a tantrum."
"Ouch," Wendy remarked from the side.
"Do you even know what it takes to be a man?" I asked seriously. "Besides being strong." I added once I noticed them open their mouths to respond. No responses came from their mouths after the clarification. "Being a man is standing up for what you believe is right, and that's what I'm doing right now. Even though you could easily overpower me in the blink of an eye, here I am, standing my ground."
"This kid is being more manly than any of you ever have been," Akila spat, stepping up next to me. "The sense of manliness Leaderaur has provided for you is meaningless."
"If I've learned anything in the past hour," Dipper chimed in, stepping to my other side, "it's that becoming a man isn't something someone gives you, it's something you earn for yourself."
I patted his back with a smile. "Well said, Dipstick." He smiled back before turning back to the group of manotaurs.
"Now," Dipper continued, "we know what creature is responsible for destroying your land, it's called a gremloblin, and you are more than welcome to join us along with the womantaurs and Multi-bear to find and stop it." After a tense moment of silence, surprisingly, Chutzpar stepped forward.
"I will help you in this quest, Destructor," he declared, slamming his chest with a single fist.
"Are you serious, Chutzpar?" Testosteraur exclaimed.
"The humans speak truth, brother," the manotaur declared confidently. "And you know what? I have always questioned the integrity of our tribe's manliness, now I realize it is but a facade. I would like to earn my title, just as Destructor says." The other manotaurs in the group stepped up as well, except for testosteraur.
"What!" he exclaimed in disbelief. "You're all cowards!"
"On the contrary," I started with a smirk, "they just did the most manly act of all: standing up for what they believe in." Testosteraur let out an angered huff and made his way back to the man cave. "Welcome aboard, fellas," I proclaimed to the group of manotaurs with a nod.
#
Testosteraur pushed forward into the mancave, shoving past the guards defending the throne room. A scowl covered the manotaur's face, still not believing that the members in his troop just abandoned him. He didn't care what that red-headed child said, they were cowards.
"Leaderaur!" Testosteraur shouted, bending down on one knee to greet his fearsome leader, he tried not to focus on the pile of countless bones of creatures his master had slain surrounding the throne. The beast was three times the size of a normal manotaur and had no hair covering his body, just dark skin. Leaderaur flared his nostrils, bits of flame and smoke escaping into the musty air.
"Speak," he demanded, red eyes piercing through the lowly manotaur.
A resolute look washed over the secretly terrified Testosteraur, but he wouldn't let his chieftain know this. A true man shows no emotion. "Chutzpar, Pubitaur, Pituitar along with Beardy have all betrayed us and joined the humans, womantaurs and the Multi-bear." Leaderaur's nostrils flared once more. "They claim to have figured out the culprit wanted for the destruction of the Occult Trees. Said it was a Gobremlin or something." The huge beast before him widened his red eyes significantly before quickly narrowing them back down to a glare.
"A trick," Leaderaur remarked, waving a giant hand through the air, "there is no such creature in these woods." The beast then stood up from his stone throne. "I appreciate you bringing this news to me." Testosteraur nodded and turned to leave the throne room. "You are not dismissed." The manotaur's brow quickly became damp as he faced his leader once more, avoiding his master's gaze. "How many others know of this information?"
Testosteraur's deceitful stoic look returned to his face. "No one, sir!" He replied quickly. "I came straight here after witnessing the treachery myself."
"Good."
Leaderaur then pulled what appeared to be a massive unicorn horn out of the bone pile and fired it at his subject. Testosteraur, too slow to avoid the projectile, was impaled, straight through his right shoulder. The manotaur let out a roar of agonizing pain as blood began to trickle down his body.
"W-Why?" he whimpered, falling to his knees.
"Word cannot get out about your brothers' betrayal," Leaderaur answered, stomping over to his collapsed form. "Our kind must remain strong and show no weakness." The chieftain's red eyes sent fear straight through the manotaur, potent enough to make him forget the pain. Leaderaur grasped the horn embedded into his follower's shoulder and tore it out, another blood curdling scream escaped the fallen beast as the pain returned to him.
"I sensed the coming of a dark time," Leaderaur stated, gripping testosteraur's limp head, making sure he was looking at him, "one that will darken the skies with blood and gore. This future is inevitable, it is impossible to avoid. We must be strong, there is no place for the weak." The beast let Testosteraur fall to the floor and then grabbed his leg.
"Creature!" Leaderaur called, turning to face his throne. "It is time. The weak have been recognized." Another red eyed beast stepped out from the shadows, numerous leaves were held within its hands, it appeared to be eating them before a villainous smile displayed clearly through its sharp teeth. "It's time we thin the hoard." The monster's bat-like ears twitched in excitement.
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Me, Dipper, Wendy, Multi-bear, Chutzpar, Pubitaur, Pituitar, Beardy, Akila and her womantaurs were all now crowded in the woman cave. Needless to say it was packed. We were circled up discussing our next course of action.
"Alright," Dipper began, grabbing everyone's attention, "we have a gremloblin on the loose that we must stop before it causes any more damage. As Matt previously noted, the creature can cause anything that looks into its eyes to see their worst nightmare." A couple of the manotaurs shivered at the statement. "In order to combat this, we must force the Gremloblin to see its own reflection. Everyone have a mirror?" The group of beasts and humans nodded. Thanks to the womantaurs being more in touch with their feminine side rather than their masculine, they were in possession of numerous beauty supplies. Impressively, they had made the products themselves. This included handheld mirrors. The manotaurs were reluctant to accept the pink mirrors as their form of defense, but they came around, some faster than others.
Beardy was the first, delighted by the fact he would be able to keep his long beard well maintained during their hunt for the beast, something he never really had time for. Chutzpar and Pituitar joined their comrade's enthusiasm, realizing how humiliating it would be for the Gremloblin to be defeated by something outlined in a pink color. Their words not mine. Pubitaur, the last to welcome the idea. He had swallowed his pride, accepting that the womantaurs would be using the purple colored mirrors, his favorite color, leaving only the pink ones.
Wendy and I pulled out our phones, opening the camera apps respectively. To ensure that they were working properly, and just for the heck of it, we decided to take a selfie or two or seven of the assorted beasts behind us. It was going to be my new wallpaper.
"Good," Dipper nodded, realizing everyone was ready, "we've got a monster to track down." An excited smile was plastered over the preteens face. This would be his first official time working alongside the supernatural creatures of the town, a welcome change of pace.
After the final check, the group filed out of the cave, armed with their reflective devices. We descended from the hill the cave resided in to the graveyard of Occult Trees, our first stop. Since it was clear now that a Gremloblin had caused the damage, the group spread out in an attempt to find any clues as to where the monster could have gone. Upon further inspection of the area, more body hairs of the creature along with burn marks were discovered sporadically around the area. However, nothing the group found provided any insight of the Gremloblin's current whereabouts.
Then a scream echoed over the clearing.
Within moments, everyone was huddled together, eyes darting to where the cry had originated from. The entrance to the man cave. Forceful stomps shook the ground as a giant manoatur emerged from the cave entrance.
"Is that Leaderaur?" Dipper whispered to me in awe. I nodded.
The great beast stopped before the decline of the hill, his red eyes staring at us. He pulled something forward, throwing it to us. Testosteraur, barely conscious, rolled down the hill uncontrollably to our feet.
"Testosteraur!" Chutzpar exclaimed, kneeling beside him. The fatally wounded manotaur gripped his comrade's hand with all the strength he had left. He looked deep into his terrified friend's eyes.
"You were right, brother," Testosteraur admitted weakly, his grip loosening with a cough of blood. "You were… right." Chutzpar watched in horror as the body in his clutches went limp, tears brimming his eyes.
"That is what happens when you are weak," Leaderaur bellowed above us. "His blood is on your hands." A roar of anger escaped Chutzpar, as he ran up the hill, driven by fury and vengeance. Before the enraged manotaur could reach his former leader, a hulking figure tackled him back to the ground. If they weren't already, the group's weapons were drawn at the sight of the Gremloblin. Luckily, Chutzpar was able to kick his surprise attacker off his body, creating much needed distance as he regrouped with his allies.
It was a setup, all of it. Leaderaur used the Gremloblin to divide his tribe in order to differentiate between the weak and the strong and we were more than likely the latter in his eyes.
"I must say I am impressed that you were able to identify the creature responsible," Leaderaur continued. "But it is not wit that will protect you in the coming storm." The giant beast jumped down the hill, landing before us. "It is strength." The Gremloblin snarled, standing next to his companion, prompting the remaining manotaurs to rush down the hill.
Akila, letting out a roar of her own, pointed her club at the incoming manotaurs. Her womantaurs echoed this shout and charged forward across the clearing, meeting the beasts halfway. As carnage ensued around them, the Gremloblin and Leaderaur stepped forward. Despite the fact that the humans and friendly beasts outnumbered the two four to one, they were severely outgunned.
"Dipper you lead Beardy, Pituitar and Pubitaur against the Gremloblin," I ordered, clenching the amulet tightly. "Do not look into its eyes and remember to avoid any water, this is tough enough as it is." The group nodded and charged at the creature, surprising it with their frontal attack.
"Wendy, Chutzpar, Multi-bear, we've got Leaderaur," I continued. "Go for the legs, by the looks of it he skipped leg day, just like most men."
"You got it," Multi-bear confirmed with a growl from his seven other heads.
Leaderaur now ran forward, flames spewing out of his nostrils. While the rest of the group dodged to the side, I stood still. Glancing at the amulet, I shut my eyes tight. Defense, not aggressive attack, Alex's words echoed. I took a deep breath. Feeling the energy gathering in my arm, I brought the amulet above my head, the red shield materializing before my eyes. Leaderaur, now very close, slammed a fist down onto me. I sighed in relief, the impact vibrating right off as I stood my ground. With surprising strength the amulet granted, I pushed back with the shield and sent the giant manotaur stumbling back.
Taking the disoriented Leaderaur as an opening, Chutzpar, with Wendy on his back, leaped into the air and slammed both fists onto his former leader's chest, sending him back even further. As the jump peaked, the female lumberjack hopped off her companion and drove her hatchet into the beast's left pectoral. While the pair worked their magic up top, Multibear and I went for his relatively scrawny legs. I bashed the shield against his kneecap and Multi-bear latched onto the other with his front sets of jaws. The head in the back just roared menacingly.
Our combined efforts were enough to send Leaderaur to the ground with a heavy thud.
Dipper and his manotaurs were in the thick of battle with the Gremloblin. Currently, Pituitar was shielding Dipper from a flame blast from the monster while Beardy and Pubitaur jumped onto the creature's back. The Gremloblin shook violently in an attempt to get the asailents of him. The beast succeeded after a good deal of effort and pinned Beardy to the ground, eyes turning yellow as he stared into the manotaur's.
Beardy was suddenly in a bathroom, a pair of scissors in hand. Slowly, he brought the tool to his facial hair, crying as he did it. After he began snipping at the hair, the cries turned to wails and clumps of hair fell off his face into a basin.
Dipper was uselessly shaking Beardy's body once Pituituar and Pubitaur pried the beast off their comrade. He kept trying to bring the manotaur back to reality to no avail. Sighing in defeat, Dipper grabbed Beardy's mirror and rushed over to the Gremloblin.
"Hey!" he called getting the beast's attention, prompting it to run over.
"Destructor! No!" Pituitar exclaimed watching the preteen stare into the Gremloblin's eyes.
As soon as Dipper noticed the red pigment in the creature's eyes begin to change, he lifted the mirror in front of his eyes, forcing the beast to stare into its reflection. The Gremloblin grabbed it's face in horror, howling as it did so. The terrified monster rushed off into the forest, abandoning Leaderaur and the manotaurs.
Akila and her forces were a near equal match to the manotaurs. The womantaurs finally had a chance to release their aggression at the ones responsible for making them leave the tribe, and they were not about to pass it up. While some man and womantaurs were in all out slugfests with one another, some chose to fight in different ways. Two were locked in an arm wrestle on a stump of an Occult Tree, some were rock paper scissoring and a couple were even shouting slam poetry at one another, a truly effective tactic.
However, the fall of Leaderaur shook the ground, gaining everyone's attention. Some manotaur's even surrendered immediately after his body hit the dirt, realizing their powerful leader had been overpowered.
Leaderaur tried to force himself back to his feet but was met with a blade pressed against his neck. Wendy stood defiantly on the collapsed manotaur's chest, not even flinching when Leaderaur's dark red eyes stared at her. Not allowing himself to be defeated, the beast took a deep inhale, ready to coat the female lumberjack in flames. Noticing this, I leapt onto the giant manotaur's face and pressed my shield to his nose. Arrogantly, Leaderaur let the flames fly only to have them reflected right back into his nostrils, burning them. He let out a yell and tried to swat me aside with a hand but Pituitar and Pubitaur held his arms down, straining as they did so.
"Yield," Chutzpar, demanded, fists clenched.
"Never," Leaderaur snarled. "Manotaurs! Help me!" No manotaurs came to his aid. "Are you deaf? Get these traitors off me!" The beasts stood still, avoiding eye contact, whether they had been defeated or not.
"The only traitor here is you, Leaderaur," Chutzpar remarked bitterly. "You killed Testosteraur, he was only ever loyal to you." The angered manotaur turned to the rest of his tribe. "How much longer until others share a similar fate? This monster doesn't care about us!"
The other manotaurs knew Chutzpar was right.
"Cowards!" Leaderaur exclaimed, realizing he was all alone. "You need me! You do not understand what is coming, the world will burn! You will all per- '' Akila, having heard enough, took her club and slammed it down on Leaderaur's head, pushing nature's snooze button.
"Anyone have a problem with that?" She asked the crowd of beasts, lifting the club back to her shoulder. She gave a satisfied nod when no one spoke up. She turned to face Wendy and I. "We will keep him prisoner, try and figure out what he's talking about."
"What about your tribe?" I asked, stepping off the now unconscious manotaur. "What will you all do now?"
"I think we have resolved that issue," Chutzpar remarked, kicking Leaderaur in the side. "I believe we should reunite, equal representation of leadership amongst manotaurs and womantaurs." The manotaur then extended a hand to Akila who shook it firmly. "On behalf of all the manotaur's, I would like to apologize for our actions."
"Apolgy accepted, Chutzpar," the womantaur commented with a smile.
"Multi-bear," Chutzpar continued, walking up to the bear, "you have proven to be a fierce warrior this day and I am also sorry about the way my tribe has treated you." The manotaur rested a hand on the beast's shoulder. "You are welcome within our lands at any time."
"Thank you, honorable Chutzpar," Multi-bear said with a nod of each of his heads.
"And you three," the multi-bear continued, facing Dipper Wendy and I, "I thank you for your bravery. Without your intervention, none of this would have happened. For what it's worth, you are all men in my eyes." Chutzpar's face fell. "I mean that in the best way possible, warrior Wendy."
"I know, dude," she replied with a chuckle.
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A short while later, Wendy had returned home and Dipper and I were walking back to the Mystery Shack. A satisfied smile shined on the preteen's face as we strolled through town. A sudden banging on the other side of a window caught our attention.
Inside Greasy's Diner Mabel was calling to us. "Dipper, Matt! It's me, Mabel" She shouted, muffled by the pane separating us. We both saw Stan roll his eyes with a smile as he enjoyed some pie… in his undershirt and boxers. "I'm looking at you through the glass! This is my voice. I'm talking to you from inside!" Dipper raised his hands and nodded in understanding.
"Let's get inside before your sister busts that window down," I remarked, leading Dipper towards the entrance.
Once we were inside and walked up to the booth Mabel and Stan were sharing, the former opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. "Yes, we saw you through the glass."
"What happened to you two?" Stan asked, mouth full of pie, taking note of our dirty clothing.
"Oh, nothing," Dipper replied innocently. "We just took down a tyrannical leader with a mutant bear, that's all." Stan raised an eyebrow at his nephew's claims and then looked at me. I nodded, supporting Dipper's statement. "Speaking of which," Dipper continued, "Is it cool if we have a friend come over tonight, Grunkle Stan?"
"Yeah, yeah, sure," he answered, going back to his pie.
At almost midnight that night, Stan could have sworn he heard the growl of a bear. Deciding to investigate, the old man got out of bed and left his room. He wandered down the hall, hearing a deep voice come from the den. Stan stood there stupidly at the sight before him once he turned the corner. Sitting on his couch was a giant multi-headed bear with smiles on each of said heads. Below him, Matt and Dipper sat gazing at the TV with smiles as well. Stan couldn't help his curiosity, and turned his head to the screen to see what was so enticing. Playing on the display was a music video of the Iclandic pop group BABBA. With one final look at the giant, mutant creature on his sofa, Stan turned and walked back down the hall to his room, deciding he was too tired for this.
Bet you guys didn't see an update coming this soon.
Thank you for reading and please leave a review!
-Matt