The Lonely Grave

Tw: self harm scars and mention of hanging

Go to him

Kit bolted upright in a dead sweat, an echo of a discordant voice wrapping around his head. Sweat drenched sheets were wrapped around his body like binds and Kit felt himself fall mere seconds before his body hit the ground. He felt like his heart was about to burst through his chest and moved to put his hand there just in case. Where his fingers lightly brushed his skin it felt like fire and ice all at once- he was burning up. Kit tried to focus on the dream- rather nightmare- he had been having, tried to reach for that distant yet familiar voice but the sands of it kept slipping through his fingers.

Looking to his dresser, he saw his clock read 4:43, only a couple hours before he was supposed to get up anyway. Ever gracefully, he began untangling himself from the bed sheet pile and made his way towards the bathroom, clothes -swiped from his self titled 'shame chair'- in hand. Once the door was locked, Kit found himself stood over the sink, hands braced on the cool porcelain just staring into the mirror. His eyes were weary and surrounded with deep purple rings, his lips chapped and skin so pale it almost shone in the artificial light. After a further moment's contemplation, Kit refocused, stepped into the shower and turned it up until it almost burnt. He always loved hot showers, found them relaxing and a great way to rid the icy cold of the English countryside that froze his core. He loved watching the curling steam dance around the grand bathroom. He also knew that no one else in the house was quite such a big fan, having heard Jem scream from where Kit was at the bottom of the garden the very first time Jem had used the shower after him...he now turned it down afterwards.

Once Kit had declared himself clean and calmed down, he made his way down the main staircase and headed towards the kitchen. Quietly, he tiptoed across the cold, slate floor and to the cupboard for a glass. Once Kit had a drink in hand, he made his way towards the drawing room, stopping short only when he noticed a light on in the library. Was Tessa awake with Mina perhaps? Kit changed his path and moved towards the library, pushing open the door as quietly as he could and stepping over the threshold in search of the room's occupant. At first, it seemed like the room was still and silent, as if someone had simply forgotten to turn the light out. Then, upon pausing for a second and closing his eyes, he could make out a gentle and tinny noise echoing from the back staircase. Kit stepped into the room a little further and that's when he saw him. Ty, a shadow silhouetted by the large window and drenched in silver moonlight that highlighted every beautiful feature. Ethereal was the word that came to mind as Kit watched Ty perched on the middle of the staircase, headphones around his neck and hunched over a book, using the light of the window to read by.

'You can come in you know'

Kit didnt even realise the other boy had noticed him 'oh yeah uh okay' he moved over to the staircase gingerly 'hi'

'Good morning'

Awkward, Kit thought but nonetheless he sat down on the bottom step and smiled brightly up at Ty. Yeah, he was beautiful, the way he sat shadowed by the darkness yet saturated in the last silver rays of the moon as if he belonged there. He and Ty were friends, they were friends, just friends, if even that yet… they still hadn't really made up after all.

'Can we be friends again?' Kit said before his brain caught up to his mouth

Slowly, Ty lifted his head up from his book 'are we not still friends?'

'Uh yeah I guess- I just… I thought you were mad at me or something? Y'know with the whole leaving thing?'

'I was at first, I was really upset in fact, so much so that I moved to the Scholomance to avoid it, but it made no difference. We were both in a very stressful situation and acted rashly and we were so much younger then. As Julian would say I "let it go" a long time ago… I didn't like not being your friend' Ty smiled down at him

'I didn't like not being your friend either. I tried to write to you, I really did, but I just didn't know quite what to say or how to make it up to you. I was a child, yes, but I still shouldn't have said what I did, it was hurtful and I absolutely didn't mean it. You know that right?!' you have to know that

'I understand, or rather Dru noticed I was sad and you were gone and connected the two. She helped me a lot when I needed someone and she helped me realise that you were just upset about Livvy like I was. I'm sorry' Ty smiled from under his fringe

Close enough to the real reason 'I'm sorry too, so lets be friends?' Kit tried

'Best friends'

Ouch that hurt, but losing him completely would be a worser fate. He could do this. Their make up had been just as messy as their "break up" but it was real and that would have to do for now. At least it was quick and somewhat easy and some truths had been aired.

'Would you like to train with me before breakfast? Ty asked, beginning to stand.

Kit nodded, not trusting his own words right now, and stood too waiting for Ty to climb down the few stairs to meet him. They both then walked upstairs to their rooms to get ready.

'See you in 10' Kit said before closing his door and leaning against the back of it.

A small ache ran through his heart 'best friends' he whispered. Well no use dwelling on it, at least he still got to call Ty his friend, at least Ty didn't hate him after all.

By the time Kit walked into the training room, the lethargic early morning sun was shining in through the floor to ceiling windows and illuminating the whole room in a warm glow. Ty seemed not to be there yet, that is, until Kit stepped further into the room and noticed Ty on the balcony that ran around the top of the room. It was a sort of viewing area that doubled as a platform to practice falls. Kit assumed that- when this used to be the ballroom- it was used for people to watch over the dances or perhaps to get away. Ty had obviously thought it interesting enough as he was sat there, legs posted through the banisters and fingers gently tapping out a rhythm on his collarbone.

The room itself was beautiful, with its original marble floor and simple wood faceted walls. The far side contained a small raised stage and along the back wall were stands, racks and shelves full of weapons. When Kit first saw it he thought it most peculiar to see such an old and beautiful room turned into a place to inspire violence but, like most of this house, he came to adore its peculiarity.

Kit waved at Ty to gain his attention and watched as the centurion stood and pulled himself over the balcony letting himself fall, landing squarely on the floor and with a dancerly grace. His arm muscles tensed through his uniform showing how toned he had become. Kit squared himself.

'One on one, loser has to babysit Max, Rafe and Mina on our day off?' Kit posited

Ty, for a split second, met his eyes before landing them on Kit's shoulder and raised an eyebrow 'you might regret that Herondale'

'Oh?' was all Kit said before he moved to the weapons rack and pulled out his hu tou gou.

Ty walked past him and pulled a quarterstaff down from its racking. Kit always remembered Ty as someone who didn't like to fight but when he did he would choose throwing knives. Kit couldn't predict him with a quarterstaff since he'd never seen him use one, though, he would not lose this.

Once stood in the centre of the mat with Ty across from him, Kit fell -now quite naturally- into a fighting stance. He moved first, attempting to hook the staff out from Ty's hand with the bent end of the swords but Ty jumped back with little effort and managed to simultaneously knock Kit back. Oh god he might actually lose this. Kit quickly threw one blade out and let it slide along the other until the hooked tops interlocked, managing to land a weak hit on Ty's hand,

causing him to momentarily let go of the staff. Kit followed the sword's momentum with his body and grabbed the now free end of the staff pulling it from Ty. However, Ty was too fast and used Kit's weight to pull his leg up and kick the hu tou from Kit's hands before landing and moving with the staff. Before he realised, Kit's back hit the floor and the air was pushed from his lungs. Ty had somehow managed to land on top of Kit and pull back the staff, holding it across Kit's throat and shoulders. Was this just it now? Was Kit just going to be pinned to the floor and beat down by Ty forever? Kit tried to move, tried desperately to wriggle free like a sad little worm. That was when he met Ty's gunmetal eyes. Ty was looking directly at Kit's lips with such an odd intensity that it made him stop short. The other boy's ever- wild hair hung around his face mirroring it like a black halo, almost hiding his sharp, pale jawline and Kit couldn't help but trail his eyes down to Ty's lips. They were chapped and bitten, probably from Ty's meltdowns or stimming, but Kit couldn't help but wonder what they might feel like on his own. He was sure Ty was moving closer as he seemed to almost be face to face now.

'Good morning boys' a voice called from over Ty's shoulder

Ty sprung up incredibly fast and turned to locate the source of the voice. Kit immediately missed the warmth of Ty's body against his. What the hell was that? Maybe Kit imagined it, Ty struggled to make eye contact after all, maybe that was just where he had decided to focus in that moment and perhaps he was simply leaning forward to keep Kit in the hold. Yeah, of course that was what it was, Kit needed to stop imagining these things as it would only lead to heartbreak.

'Hello Alec, how are you this morning?' Ty spoke calmly and evenly

'Fantastic, thank you! The boys both actually went to bed on time and stayed in bed until 6:30 which is a miracle' Alec smiled kindly at Ty and then Kit who had now pulled himself up from the floor 'Kit, I heard you favour the bow and arrow? I was only coming down here to practice form before breakfast but I'd love to do some target practice with you' Alec looked at Kit softly as perhaps an older brother would.

Having recovered from his internal meltdown, Kit nodded 'that actually sounds like fun, I don't usually have anyone to practice with, Jem prefers his cane and only occasionally throwing knives but won't go up against my bow with them'

Kit placed his swords back, once they had been retrieved from the floor, and pulled out his bow and arrow. It was, as most shadowhunter bows are, made from adamas but Tessa had managed to weave through it some faerie- tree wood somehow, stating it would help him link into his magic should he ever need it. The familiar weight of it calmed him as he moved back to the mat to stand next to Alec, facing the targets lined up against the wall opposite the stage. Some were on stands, some hung down from the balcony and some were built into the wall which, much to Kit's amusement, were a variety of demon silhouettes.

Kit and Alec had spent a while on target practice while Ty had gone back to practicing falling. Kit wondered if Ty liked the thrill of it perhaps? Kit hated falling but it certainly focussed and grounded him in more ways than one.

Kit was now in the entry hall with the rest of the house, bar Tessa and the children who were at the top of the first set of stairs. The whole team was off to scout each of the locations: Kit, Mari and Magnus were visiting Barricane rock flats, Ty and Alec were going to Tawstock woods, Lyric and Sunish were going to Exmoor and Jem and Anush were staying on Dartmoor at Haytor Rock. Kit had wanted to be paired with Ty so they could talk or perhaps Anush for no reason at all of course. Magnus was a great second choice though, Kit kind of saw him as his fun gay uncle who would diappear off around Europe for 3 months then return with gifts for a couple weeks before jetting off again. Kit couldn't help but adore him.

Kit stepped out of the portal after Mangus and Mari whom of which still walked around like the sun shone out of her rear end. Kit did not like her. He pushed past that feeling and looked around at the beach in front him. They stood atop a slipway that gave way to a shaley looking and small beach. It was narrow and long and at either side of the shale were large, slate- grey and jagged rocks that jutted out at all odd angles. There were very few people on the beach at this time of the morning, just an old couple on a stroll and a dog walker which meant they didn't have to glamour themselves. The group stood scoping the area out for a second before making their way down the slipway and then back left on themselves to where they could access the flat rocks.

It was quite a climb even with years of growing up in coastal LA, balance and agility runes and shadowhunter grace. The rocks were, in parts, covered in slippery algae and seawater making for a rather dicey situation. Kit may have fallen once or twice in fact. Mari nor Magnus had fallen once of course, what with Mari's centurion perfection or whatever and Magnus' well Magnus. Once they had found the little hollows on the far side of the flats, Magnus made quick work of locating the faerie gate and Mari of finding a nearby stakeout spot.

That is how Kit ended up perched somewhat awkwardly on a large and sharp rock in the middle of nowhere. Nothing particularly interesting had happened as of yet, unless you could count two seagulls fighting over bread scraps as entertainment which Kit didn't. Kit then watched as Mari excused herself to move to the base of the rock saying something about a "different vantage point" and Magnus simultaneously appeared beside him.

'So, you and Ty huh?' Magnus said with a wiggle of an eyebrow 'what's happening there?'

'Uh I don't know- I- you- no' he babbled, panicked and unsure of where the hell this had come from

'Oh dear lord, why are all shadowhunters so repressed you sound just like Alec did when I first met him' Magnus looked mildly defeated 'try again dear'

He made a compelling point actually, if anyone could understand him it would be Magnus 'okay so I might be, no definitely am, a little bit in love with Ty. He doesn't feel the same though trust me'

'What makes you say that Kitten?'

Why Magnus nicknamed everyone he would never know 'uh I may have told him I loved him in the middle of Lake Lyn while we were raising his sister from the dead and he might have shot down my confession so hard that I might have told him he meant nothing to me?!' Kit said quickly, knowing otherwise he never would

'Ah, I see' Magnus took a second to think 'perhaps that wasn't quite the right time for a daring love confession darling?'

'Well I know that now but 15 year old Kit saw it as the only way to stop him going through with the whole necromancy thing. We've made up now though and we're friends' Kit couldn't help the slight disdain leaking into his voice

'I suppose that does explain why you left so sharpish and without a farewell. Though I have to say running away from one's feelings will not help something. I've learnt through much experience!' Magnus looked at Kit with a soft and kind expression

'He just wants to be friends' Kit added dejectedly

'Perhaps you can win him over yet' Magnus replied with a wink and Kit knew better than to fight him on it.

Maybe he could win Ty over, perhaps there was something there this morning…

'You know te iubesc is I love you in Romanian' Mari shouted from the base of the rock 'in case you wanted to know for any reason'

'Please don't tell me you were listening to that!' Kit said slightly panicked again

'Oh you weren't exactly quiet and there's not much else to do here is there?' Mari added 'plus if it helps I think Ty might like you too, he never stopped moping around at school and we always thought it was a heartbreak. Maybe it was? I actually bet on it'

Well if nothing else this was an enlightening trip and perhaps he didn't hate Mari as much anymore.

They'd wrapped up their scoping spot at around 11 pm as nothing seemed to be going on, with the promise to return the following night for an overnight patrol.

Ty was now sitting in his room staring at the ceiling. What had happened in the training room this morning? Ty had watched Kit walk in and was suddenly taken by how the sun shone on him hazily, making his honey toned hair shine like golden thread and his blue eyes turn to glass. If the moon was Ty's domain then the sun was definitely Kit's. But he was just admiring Kit like other people did, right? He was a Herondale after all and they were revered for their looks...right‽

'Ty Ty?'

Ty looked up and noticed a figure stood at the far end of the room. Livia. But she looked normal, or as normal as a ghost could.

'Livvy? You're okay!' Ty replied excitedly, hands beginning to flutter by his side

'Hi Ty Ty of course I'm okay silly. I went to Idris again' was all she said

No memory of the screaming fits perhaps?

'And what did you find?' Ty probed

'They know you're looking into the faerie gates Ty… I think you might have a spy in your midst' she said words trailing off slightly 'I watched them there for a long time and they knew stuff about it about the gates and, more importantly, they know where you are. I don't think that poses a specific threat yet as you aren't their main target but you still need to be careful. To find out who it is'

Livvy finished her sentence and then seemed to stare off into space. She looked exhausted.

'How long were you there Livvy? You know you can't push yourself!' Livvy's eyes went black immediately 'Livvy? Livia?!'

And then he couldn't see

Kit's skin began to crawl, that familiar deathly cold feeling that came with a ghost, which he had yet to get used to. He sat up slowly, still clutching his duvet to his body, and looked around the room for what he assumed was Livvy. In the corner of the room however, was a young lady he didn't quite recognise, her hair a copper matt and eyes as green as dewey morning grass. She seemed to have a large, red blister mark around the base of her throat as well as a large gash along each of her wrists.

'Who are you?' For the first time in his life, Kit treaded carefully

'Go to him' a croaky voice echoed back

'Oh sure I get the ominous ghost this time. Great!'

'Go. To. Him.'

A blot of panic shot through the boy, chilling him even further. Starkly, he realised those were the words from his nightmare. Ty.

Kit made short work of leaping out of bed -now perfectly awake- and rushing to the room he knew Ty to be staying in. He knocked on the door -possibly a bit too hard- and waited for a second behind barely contained nerves.

Screw it!

Kit threw the door open and bolted in… before stopping dead. Ty was lying half across the bed, legs hanging limply off, and was convulsing rapidly. Kit ran up to him and grabbed his left wrist checking for a pulse. Thankfully he found one and the smallest amount of relief settled upon him, that is, until he noticed a large pool of blood blooming through Ty's grey t-shirt. Oh god oh god oh god.

Iratze you idiot

His brain suddenly kicked in and he retrieved Ty's stele from his nightstand, pulling back the sticky and sodden fabric from the boy's torso. The gash was huge and violently spurting bright red blood. An artery, that was never good. He drew the iratze with perhaps the greatest speed he had ever drawn a rune… and it faded.

CRAP!

Ty was dying and Kit couldn't figure out how to save him.

Thank you so much for reading, I'm genuinely having the best time writing this. It was only meant to be personal but I risked posting it with encouragement of a friend and the support has been amazing. Sorry for the slow update, I've been feeling kinda ill this past couple weeks and work has been a stress induced nightmare. Also I told you plot would happen! Ps about the scone thing, my only american friend said she had never heard of scones before so i believed her and when i googled it i didnt think they looked the same. Sorry if i offended anyone.

Dictionary of terms

Te iubesc- i learnt this from a romanian child i taught (amongst many other words) in my second year of teacher training. Mari is Romanian and would very much know this

Barricane beach- i mentioned it last time but please look it up, it's so pretty and magical