THIS CHAPTER HAS ART BY LOSTINFANTASYWORLDS. IT IS AMAZING. AND IT'S HOT. THANK YOU, TARYN! You can see it on my tumblr on this story on AO3! :)
Chapter is named after the song "Ace of Hearts" by Zella Day.
Alright, well, we'll talk after the chapter *laughs nervously*
Chapter 7: Ace of Hearts
The next day, Inuyasha was feeling less...mopey.
He decided to blame his previous mood on his human night and not focus on it, and that was pretty much working.
And even though Kagome was somewhat the source of his demure mood, it was hard to keep himself from smiling at some of the things she did.
Like when she smiled. And teased him. And laughed.
And just...existed.
A week into their currently destination-less journey, Inuyasha looked up at the sky, noticing the darkening clouds and smelling the impending rain. He could tell it was going to be a big storm, and his ears flicked when he caught the soft sounds of thunder in the distance.
"It looks like it's going to rain," Kagome commented. "Maybe it'll just be a little drizzle." Inuyasha shook his head. "It's gonna be a storm. Smells like a bad one." He sighed. "We should probably stay at an inn tonight. It's not gonna be safe to stay outside."
Kagome smiled. "Okay. It'll be nice to sleep in a bed tonight. I like sleeping under the stars, but nothing beats cushions. I hope we find a place that has western-style beds."
Inuyasha was more focused on finding a town than he was on what kind of beds they would have.
"Let's hurry," he said, tugging her sleeve so she'd follow him. "I don't think we have much time."
Kagome picked up her pace as she followed him.
When they reached a nearby town, Inuyasha kept an eye out for an inn.
He caught sight of one, and he could tell it had a bit of a western influence.
Kagome will probably get her bed after all.
They quickly walked toward the inn and reached it just as the first clap of thunder rang through the sky.
"Are you going to use your palm-reading money?" Kagome teased quietly when they entered the inn. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.
"Would you rather pay?" he asked. Kagome smiled.
"I'll watch the bags," she offered. "Then we'll be even." Inuyasha chuckled.
"Right," he replied. He set his bag by her feet and walked up to the counter to speak with the clerk.
"Welcome," the clerk greeted. "How can I help you?"
"Hello," Inuyasha greeted back. "Do you have sleeping palettes or western beds?"
"Western only," the clerk replied.
"Alright, that's fine," Inuyasha said. "Can I get a room with two?"
The clerk checked an open notebook on the counter.
"Ah, I apologize," he began, "but the only rooms we have left only have one bed." Inuyasha nearly groaned.
He glanced back at where Kagome was standing with their bags.
Uh...
"Do you know if there's another inn in this town?" he asked. The clerk shook his head.
"This is the only one," he replied.
Inuyasha grimaced. "I'll take it."
It's not like there's anything else we can do. This is the only inn here in this town and we need a real place to stay with the storm coming. It can't be helped. I just need to keep it together.
He could already hear the rain starting to patter on the windows of the inn.
He got the key from the clerk and walked over to Kagome, unable to meet her gaze.
Doesn't mean it's gonna be easy...
"I got a room," he said. "Let's go." He took his bag from Kagome and led her upstairs.
When they walked in, he could tell that Kagome immediately noticed the single bed.
"Um," she began, "why is there only one bed?"
Inuyasha scoffed. "Keh. It's all they had left. I'll sleep on the floor."
Kagome rolled her eyes. "I think we're mature enough to share a bed without it being weird. It's more than big enough to fit two people in it."
Inuyasha shrugged and tossed his bag on the bed.
"Fine," he replied as he plopped down on what he claimed as his side of the bed. He was a bit more tired than usual.
"I might go check out the bathhouse," Kagome said as she set her own bag on the other side of the bed. "You should rest a bit while I'm gone."
Inuyasha frowned. "Knock yourself out. I'm fine here, not sleeping."
Kagome laughed. "Okay. I'll see you when I get back."
Inuyasha nodded as she went about gathering her bathing items before grabbing the key and leaving the room.
When she was gone, he took a deep breath. His eyelids started feeling heavy and the lull of slumber was starting to become too great to ignore.
Maybe I'll just close my eyes for a few minutes. That shouldn't hurt.
He was asleep within seconds.
O.o.O.o.O
When Kagome returned from her bath, she entered the room quietly, hoping Inuyasha had decided to rest a bit.
After she walked in, she found him fast asleep.
She nearly laughed at the sight; he was sprawled out on his back, his nose and ears twitching a bit in his sleep, a soft snore coming from his slightly-parted lips.
Kagome could tell he was dead to the world, so she wasn't worried about waking him up. She remained quiet, though, as she grabbed a comb to run through her wet hair.
She carefully sat down on the bed next to him, pausing the strokes of her comb as she saw him at a closer proximity.
This is the first time I've ever seen him sleep, she realized. Well, without having to crane my neck around.
She tried to not think too hard about hanami and how he'd fallen asleep with his back against her...
He's always awake when I fall asleep and the one always waking me up in the mornings.
She admired the smooth planes of his face, devoid of any tension like what she normally saw.
He looked especially beautiful in his slumber.
Kagome thought he was absolutely gorgeous when he was awake, even with the angriest of expressions playing on his features, but his face when he was asleep was a different kind of beauty, a softer one.
She felt the strangest urge to reach out and brush his bangs off his forehead or stroke his cheek, but she didn't want to be...weird.
So she just looked away and resumed her combing, resolving to stay awake until he woke up. She wanted to be the one he woke up to this time rather than vice versa, although waking up to Inuyasha's hand patting her shoulder and golden eyes looking down at her was something she thoroughly enjoyed.
When she was finished combing, she pulled her knitting supplies out of her bag and began to knit. She'd been making just a simple scarf, but maybe she would switch to something different.
Maybe I'll make a loose hat for Inuyasha, she decided. Then he won't have to wear the hood up on his cloak all the time. I'll make the hat big enough that he can even tuck his hair in it.
Eventually, she began to feel tired herself, so she slowly and quietly got under the blankets, which was a bit difficult considering Inuyasha was sleeping on top of his half of the bed and blankets.
She glanced at the hanyo a final time before rolling over with her back to him and falling asleep.
So much for staying awake for when he wakes up...it's alright, though. I don't think he'll care too much.
o.O.o
The next morning, Kagome woke up feeling herself pinned to the bed by something heavy on her chest. Opening her eyes and lifting her head up, she got an eyeful of silver hair and twitching dog ears.
Freezing, she found that Inuyasha was half-laying on her. Not only was his head resting right over her heart...he was also still sleeping on top of the blanket and effectively trapping Kagome beneath it. His arm was thrown across her body, too, so she couldn't slide out the other side of the bed without jostling him.
So she just waited.
And...she realized how warm he was.
He was really, really warm.
And it was nice.
He smelled good, like his usual woodsy scent. She was filled with the memory of him falling asleep against her after hanami, and a blush came to her cheeks.
His body was so relaxed against her. Usually he was so hard and tense but now...now he was just as vulnerable as she'd been wanting to see him for what felt like a really long time.
Kagome found herself not wanting him to wake up quite yet.
She knew it would be awkward when he awoke and found their not-so-chaste position, but at the moment, she didn't care. She basked in his warmth, in his scent, and felt her heartbeat kick up.
There was something blooming in her chest, something similar to how she'd felt during hanami, but it felt...bigger somehow, more profound.
Before she could ponder whatever it was, she felt him start to stir against her.
To her surprise, his arm tightened around her waist and he moved his head up to slightly nuzzle her neck.
Then he froze.
She heard a choked noise come from his mouth before he jumped off of her.
His cheeks were bright red as they stared at each other.
"Uh, good morning?" Kagome said awkwardly.
"I have to use the bathroom," he replied quickly before he grabbed his bag and got up, locking himself in the small bathroom.
When the door slammed closed, Kagome took a deep breath and sat up.
Her heart was racing, and the warmth of his body still lingered on her skin.
She blushed and tried to gather herself.
Calm down! He did it in his sleep. It's not like it means anything.
But her heart was still pounding.
When Inuyasha emerged from the bathroom a few minutes later, he avoided eye contact with Kagome.
Kagome glanced at him as he started packing up his bag.
He was frowning with his brows narrowed in annoyance. Kagome bit her lip and looked away, grabbing her things to get ready in the bathroom.
When she was alone with the door closed, she took a deep breath and looked in the mirror.
Her cheeks were bright red, and was that...desire in her eyes?
She barely recognized herself.
Why am I so affected by this? It's not like I have feelings for him!
But then it hit her.
She did have feelings for him. Deep feelings.
Deep, romantic feelings.
It explained why she was so breathless after such a simple touch...why she found that she sometimes couldn't keep her eyes off of him...why she'd come to find his moods endearing rather than standoffish.
After hanami, things had shifted, at least for her. How she felt now only served to solidify it.
And the way he had wrapped himself around her in his sleep…
Could he have felt the same way?
Unsettled by her epiphany, Kagome went about her usual morning routine. She couldn't get Inuyasha out of her mind, especially since she knew he was on the other side of the door. She almost wanted to be alone for a little while to try and process her realization, but she wouldn't be able to.
So she would suck it up and try to focus on something else.
Like what she would wear that day.
Should I wear a dress? The yukata from hanami? No, I don't want him to think I'm trying to look extra nice…
She shook her head, reprimanding herself for being so thrown after their sleeping positions, and just pulled out the first thing she grabbed from her bag. Her hands landed on a simple red yukata with a looser skirt, unlike the slightly tighter yukata she'd worn for hanami. She looked in the mirror as she smoothed the fabric over her body and secured it with a black obi. It didn't constrict her legs like her other yukata did, so it was more practical for traveling.
Kagome quickly ran a comb through her hair and took a final look in the mirror.
Once she deemed herself ready, she took a deep breath before emerging from the bathroom, feeling refreshed but also still a bit uneasy due to her newfound feelings.
But she knew they weren't so newfound. They explained a lot of the things she'd been feeling lately, and she knew she'd wanted him for much longer than she was willing to admit.
"So…" Kagome began, finally breaking the heavy silence. "What should we do today?"
Inuyasha shrugged where he'd seated himself on the bed. "Not much we can do. The storm is still probably gonna be off and on so it's too risky to travel any further."
Kagome grimaced. Right...now what? We just sit around here all day? That'll be so awkward!
"Well, I'm hungry," Inuyasha stated as he stood up. "I'm gonna go catch something in the forest. It's stopped raining for now. No use wasting money when there's perfectly good meat around."
Kagome nodded and grabbed her bow and arrows, slinging the quiver over her back.
"What are you doing?" Inuyasha asked. Kagome frowned.
"Getting my stuff to hunt," she replied. Inuyasha shook his head.
"You stay here. It could start storming again at any second."
Kagome rolled her eyes. "I'm not gonna let you do all the work. I can catch something, too." She smiled. "We could make a game out of it. Whoever catches something first wins."
Inuyasha's ears twitched. "Sounds like a game you'd lose."
Kagome smiled. "Interesting theory. Are you willing to test it?"
Inuyasha scoffed. "Keh. Nothing better to do. Let's go."
The walk to the forest was quiet. Unable to muster up the motivation to attempt her usual chatter, Kagome kept her eyes ahead of her.
She was distinctly aware of Inuyasha's presence beside her. There was a chaste distance between them, leaving no possibility for them to brush against each other by accident.
It almost disappointed her.
Keep that kind of thing out of your thoughts, she scolded herself. Focus on getting ready to hunt.
When they'd gotten a good distance away from the town, she turned to Inuyasha.
"Ready?" she asked. Inuyasha nodded.
Kagome smiled. "Ready...set...go!"
They parted ways as Kagome hurried off in the opposite direction of Inuyasha.
She readied her bow, nocking it with an arrow, as she slowed her pace and listened for any signs of game she could hunt.
Several minutes after she'd started, she felt an odd presence. Looking around, she frowned, trying to figure out what the strange aura was.
Then she realized.
It was a youkai.
No...not quite…
An oni.
They were rare, but dangerous. They fed on humans unlike most youkai.
Kagome braced herself, keeping her bow and arrow up, ready to defend herself from it.
It had been awhile since she'd fought a youkai off, so she was a little nervous.
I can do it. No big deal.
The oni came into her line of sight, smirking when it saw her.
"What a pretty woman," he said gruffly. "You'll make a fine meal for me."
Kagome glared and aimed her arrow at him, not hesitating to shoot.
As soon as the arrow soared toward the oni, he disappeared. Kagome frowned and looked around, wondering what had happened.
"You think it would be that easy to kill me?" the oni asked as it reappeared behind her.
Before Kagome could nock another arrow, the oni swiped at her.
Kagome barely managed to dodge it, losing her balance and falling back on the ground.
She rolled out of the way when the oni bared its fangs and tried to jump on her.
"Inuyasha!" she shouted instinctively.
"Shouting for someone to come save you?" the oni asked facetiously. "Poor, weak girl. I'm going to love devouring you."
Kagome stood up and grabbed her quiver again.
I will not rely on someone else for protection, she resolved. I can do this on my own.
She nocked another arrow and let it soar, hitting the oni straight on and piercing its eye.
As she hit it, a bright light appeared along with a shout of Kagome's name.
She looked up, her eyes wide in surprise.
Inuyasha…?
O.o.O.o.O
Inuyasha was glad Kagome had suggested that "game." He needed more time to himself to try and sort out the jumbled mess that was his mind.
When he'd woken up that morning, surrounded by Kagome's scent with her warm body beneath him, it had felt like home. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt that.
It had been so natural to just roll over toward what had become the most beautiful thing in his life. It wasn't on purpose; it was as if he were in a dream when he did it…
Then he woke up and realized it wasn't a dream.
That's the last time I fall asleep in the same bed as her. I guess I'll just be staying up all night until we leave that stupid inn...or maybe I'll just sleep on the floor after all. Or maybe outside. That might be better. Hopefully the rain doesn't start back up and we can just avoid the inn altogether.
But the scent of a storm wasn't completely gone, so Inuyasha figured they were in for another night at the inn.
He was so lost in thought that he wasn't even bothering to hunt out any animals. Knowing how skilled Kagome was with her bow, he figured she'd probably already caught something.
But then he heard her shout his name in a tone he'd never heard from her.
Fear.
Inuyasha immediately ran off, searching her out, and when he got closer, he sensed an oni near her.
I'm such an idiot! I never should've let her go off on her own!
He found her locked in an altercation with the oni, nocking her arrow and aiming at it.
The look in her eyes...he knew she could do it. He knew she could kill it.
And yet...something in him was pulsing.
Something was screaming at him to move.
It was coming from his side, from the scabbard at his waist.
Tessaiga wants me to draw it?
Knowing he had no time to waste, he drew Tessaiga, the desire to protect Kagome overpowering any other thought he might have had.
The sword emitted a bright light, and he lunged at the oni, swinging the Tessaiga, barely noticing that Kagome had shot an arrow. She landed a direct hit on the oni.
But Inuyasha still moved, his blood boiling with the physical need to protect Kagome at all costs.
I can't lose her...
He sliced the oni in two pieces before it disintegrated with Kagome's purifying spiritual power.
When the oni was gone and the light had disappeared, Inuyasha found a transformed Tessaiga, larger than it had been and in the shape of a fang.
Inuyasha's eyes widened for a moment before he turned to Kagome.
Her eyes were just as wide as she took in the sword's new form.
"Whoa," she breathed. "How did you do that?"
"I-" Inuyasha began before cutting himself off. "Who cares? You were about to be killed!"
Kagome frowned. "No, I wasn't! I had it under control before you showed up. Didn't you see my purification?"
"Yes, but-" Inuyasha's words caught in his throat.
The idea of losing her, as dramatic as it sounded, scared him.
No...it terrified him.
He was terrified of never seeing her smile again, of never seeing her blue eyes light up when she laughed, of never hearing her say his name.
In that moment, all he wanted was to keep her safe, to keep her alive.
That's when the sword had begged to be drawn, eliciting a transformation he'd never seen.
And then he understood.
The sword hadn't transformed for him.
It had transformed for Kagome.
He knew it; his desire to protect her...that's what had triggered the transformation.
Totosai was right. The ability to make the sword transform had always been inside Inuyasha, but it wasn't for him.
It was for someone he wanted to protect, to defend.
And that someone...was Kagome.
"Inuyasha?" she said. "Are you okay? I didn't...I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. Thank you for coming."
He looked at her and saw the sheepish smile on her face.
Relief flooded him as he walked over to her, dropping the Tessaiga to the ground and wrapping his arms around her. He barely noticed the sword transforming back to its rusty katana state; he was too focused on crushing Kagome against him.
Kagome froze. "What are you doing?"
"Sh," Inuyasha hushed. "Just shut up."
"Hey, now," Kagome warned. "Don't be a-"
Inuyasha suddenly pulled back, looking down at her. Kagome's words died in her throat as he slowly moved his hands up her back and into her hair.
Kagome's hair was soft; it tickled his fingertips as he ran his claws through the long locks.
Her eyes were bright and surprised as she looked up at him, her lips slightly parted as blue clashed with gold.
Something new was stirring in Inuyasha's chest, something he'd never felt before.
Everything he'd been feeling since hanami was flooding his mind, flooding his heart, flooding his soul. It had become too difficult for him to stifle his feelings.
And at the moment, there was one big feeling slowly swimming to the surface.
The closest thing he could compare it to was desire...want.
He wanted to devour her.
So he did.
He gripped the back of her head, buried his hands in her hair, and yanked her forward, pressing his lips to her open mouth, going in for a taste right off the bat.
Kagome shrieked against his lips, but he paid no mind. Instead, he used the hands in her hair to tilt her head, allowing him to taste deeper and feel more of her.
Soon enough, Kagome relaxed and wrapped her arms around his waist, running her hands up his back and pulling him closer. She tentatively, slowly, hesitantly kissed him back, her tongue making his mouth burst with her taste as she swept it inside.
But Inuyasha didn't want hesitantly. He didn't want slowly.
He made a sound that was somewhere between a groan and whine, and he knew he would probably be embarrassed about it later on.
But in that moment, he didn't care.
He kissed her harder, feeling her arms wrap tighter around him. He felt her break against him, all hesitation leaving her body.
He kissed Kagome with a reckless abandon of which he'd never known he was capable, and she finally kissed him back just as fiercely, completely matching his desperation.
Inuyasha wondered what was going through her mind at the moment. She was certainly reciprocating his every movement, and she clung tighter and tighter to him at every brush of their lips, at every slide of his tongue against hers.
Her lips were soft and malleable; they moved with his in perfect sync, matching his every motion as they tumbled headfirst into passion over and over again.
Finally, he lifted her up, hauling her against his body and wrapping his arms around her as she wrapped her legs around his waist in kind.
He was grateful that the yukata she was wearing fit so loosely around her legs.
With every inch of them pressed against each other, his kisses grew wilder.
He moved his lips down to Kagome's neck, placing long, deep kisses on the tender skin.
Kagome let out a quiet whine at his ministrations, eliciting a soft growl from Inuyasha. It reverberated on the tender hollow of her neck before she reached up to take his ears in her hands.
Inuyasha groaned and immediately pulled away from her as she gently rubbed his ears, much like she had before they'd attended hanami.
"Soft," she murmured as she leaned forward to place a kiss on each ear.
She looked down, meeting Inuyasha's gaze, before she smiled and pressed another kiss to his lips.
Inuyasha kissed her back immediately, bringing his hand up to press against the back of her head.
Eventually, Kagome pulled away to breathe. She leaned her forehead against Inuyasha's, the tiniest of smiles playing on her thoroughly-kissed lips.
As Inuyasha looked at her, taking in the after-effects of what had just transpired between them, he began to panic.
He loosened his grip on Kagome, allowing her to slide down him until her feet hit the ground again.
He dropped his arms from around her and stepped back, realizing the gravity of what he'd just done.
I shouldn't have kissed her...I'm such an idiot. This is the last thing I should've done!
Kagome continued to breathe heavily as she tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear before looking at Inuyasha again.
"Wow," she said on an exhale. "That was...wow."
Inuyasha grimaced. "It was a mistake. We...that shouldn't have happened."
Kagome's eyes widened. "What? You...you're taking it back?"
Inuyasha growled. "Of course I am!"
Kagome frowned. "But lately it's seemed like...things have changed between us."
Inuyasha grit his teeth.
"Of course not. I would never make the idiotic mistake of falling in...of having feelings for a woman!"
Kagome took a step back, putting a bit more distance between herself and Inuyasha.
"But I thought-"
"You thought what?" he shot back. "That one kiss meant I had suddenly fallen in love with you? No."
He smelled the salty scent of tears, but none fell from Kagome's eyes. She frowned, her hurt expression turning into a glare.
"So you're saying," she began, "that you don't feel anything for me?"
Inuyasha's retort caught in his throat.
He stared down at the woman in front of him, with her fierce blue eyes and head held high. Her black hair was clinging to her face and neck with sweat from her small fight with the oni, and Inuyasha wondered how the salty taste of her skin would feel on his tongue, how it would mix the sweetness of her that lingered in his mouth.
Stop thinking like that!
"No," he replied firmly. "I don't."
Kagome shook her head. "I don't believe that. I know you're lying and I know what I just felt from you in that kiss. You want me."
She turned away without another word, making her way back to the inn. Inuyasha frowned and followed her, wondering if this would be what made her walk away, what made her turn her back on him.
He grabbed the Tessaiga off the ground and shoved it back in the scabbard, blaming it for his stupid choices.
To his surprise, when they reached their room, Kagome went to her bag, grabbed her needles and fabric, kicked her shoes off, sat down on her side of the bed, and began...to knit.
Inuyasha gaped at her, not expecting such a calm reaction.
Kagome noticed him watching her. She frowned at him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
Inuyasha scoffed. "I thought you'd leave after...that."
Kagome rolled her eyes. "I'm not gonna abandon you just because you're in denial."
A crack of thunder rang out in the sky, and the sound of rain starting to patter against the window began to echo in the room.
"And it's storming anyway," she said curtly. "Now let me knit in peace." Inuyasha went silent as she turned her attention back to her hands.
His eyes stayed on her as her brows furrowed in concentration. She tucked a lock of black hair behind her ear, keeping it out of her face as she continued to knit. Her hands were nimble as she went about it, and Inuyasha wondered…
He wondered how her hands would feel on his body again.
He wanted to kiss her.
Again.
Kagome heaved a sigh and put her knitting down. Looking up at him, she gazed at him expectantly.
"Do you have something to say?" she asked curtly. "Or are you just going to stare at me like that for the rest of the day?"
Inuyasha didn't answer her.
Instead, he slowly walked over to her, never breaking eye contact.
As he got closer, Kagome's eyes widened. She opened her mouth to say something, but his hands setting on her shoulders got her to shut up.
He gently pushed her down so she was lying across the bed on her back. Inuyasha's hands roamed over her shoulders, down her arms, and back up to rest gently on her neck.
"What are you doing?" she asked breathlessly.
Inuyasha shook his head and kneeled on the bed, crawling a bit to hover over her as he leaned down.
What am I doing? This is counterproductive...
Keeping their eyes locked, Inuyasha brushed his lips against her cheek.
"Do you want me to kiss you again?" he asked quietly.
He could hear the surprise in his voice. Her words from outside were finally sinking in...it made him realize that she'd essentially revealed her own feelings for him.
He also sounded breathless, like she did. He sounded needy and affectionate, weak and hopeless.
He sounded like a man who wanted a woman.
Inuyasha really, really wanted Kagome.
And...she wanted him.
But he couldn't have her. At least, not completely.
But this...maybe they could have this.
Kagome looked up at him, biting her lip as she seemed to mull over his question in her head.
Inuyasha reached up and pulled the lip from her teeth, gently running his thumb over it.
It was a silent staredown, and the longer Inuyasha looked at her, the more he felt himself softening.
Her eyes searched his for another moment as he continued his soft caress of her bottom lip. It was soft, supple, begging to be kissed by him again.
Kagome brought her hands up, gently cupping his cheeks and brushing her nose against his.
"I do," she finally replied softly. Inuyasha went to close the small distance between them, but she stopped him with a hand over his mouth.
"I want you to kiss me," she murmured. "After you tell me the truth."
Inuyasha frowned, confused.
"Do you have feelings for me?" she clarified as she moved her hand from his mouth.
She searched his eyes as her thumb stroked the skin of his cheek; she was practically consuming him with her gaze. "I know you do...but I need to hear it from you. I need to hear you say that you don't regret what happened."
In that moment, as they stared at each other, lips nearly touching but not quite, Inuyasha realized…she knew how he felt. Of course she knew. How could she not after that kiss?
He did have feelings for her.
And he had for a long time.
But he couldn't tell her that. Falling in love meant weakness, it meant failure, it meant pain.
And it would only make it harder to betray her in the end.
So he did the unthinkable.
He pulled away from her and looked away.
"No. I don't."
He got up off the bed completely and took several steps back.
Kagome half-sat up, leaning on her elbows as she looked at him.
"Really?" she asked, her voice quiet. "Then what was that just now? Again?"
Inuyasha finally looked away.
He couldn't answer her.
Before he could leave, he heard the bed creak behind him and felt Kagome's hand on his arm.
"Wait," she said softly. Inuyasha closed his eyes, wondering how good of an idea it was to look at her while he was trying to ignore his heart screaming at him to just...give in.
Against his better judgement, he turned around to look at her.
Kagome was still for a moment, just searching his eyes, before she moved forward.
She wrapped her arms around his waist and lay her head against his chest.
Inuyasha tensed as he felt the warmth of her body press against him.
He remembered feeling it during their kiss, and that intense wave of desire hit him again, full-force.
Feeling her against him like this felt so right.
Which was how he knew it was wrong.
He went to lift his arms to return the embrace, but he knew if he moved...he would break his resolve.
A moment later, Kagome pulled back slightly to look up at him.
Her blue eyes were full of an emotion he was too afraid to name.
"Are you sure you don't want me?" she murmured. "I just...I know what I see when I look into your eyes. I know you're lying when you say you don't..."
I do...I want her to be mine and I want to be hers.
He couldn't do it. Having her so close, with the chocolate-cherry scent surrounding him again, it was too hard.
He could keep lying and say no, that he felt nothing.
But the lie wouldn't come out of him.
So he just pulled out of her embrace, opened the door, and left the room.
O.o.O.o.O
Kagome watched as Inuyasha left.
He closed the door quietly behind him, and she could hear his footsteps retreat down the hallway.
She walked back to lay down on the bed, heart racing, breathing heavily, as she replayed the last few moments in her mind.
Why is he lying? she wondered silently. His feelings are written all over his face and they're practically brimming in his eyes. And the way he touched me...
She shivered at the memory of his hands on her. No man had ever touched her like that.
Inuyasha touched her like he wanted her at the very depths of his core. He touched her like he wanted to ravish her with affection.
And his eyes…
The look in them when his gaze was on her...when his eyes were filled with such passion that was so intently set on her…
It was indescribable.
He looked at her like a man who wanted to be with a woman. It was as simple as that.
So why is he fighting it? And just now...he wanted to kiss me again. He feels for me exactly what I feel for him.
She just didn't understand why he wouldn't let himself admit his feelings.
She thought maybe just a simple embrace would thaw his heart, would make him realize that she wanted him just as much.
But it didn't.
Finally, Kagome sighed, picking up her knitting supplies again and resuming her mindless work for a bit before heading downstairs to have a bath.
Maybe that would help distract her from her thoughts.
o.O.o
Inuyasha didn't come back until late that night.
Kagome was irritated; since they'd neglected to bring back any meat from when they'd gone hunting, she'd had to walk through the rain and waste money buying food at a nearby store.
But she knew Inuyasha needed space to work out whatever his problem was.
She rolled her eyes as she prepared for bed. Once she was under the blankets and tucked in, she sighed and snuggled under the covers.
Her mind was wide awake with thoughts of Inuyasha.
It was well past the time when she would normally fall asleep when Inuyasha returned. She heard him quietly open the door before slipping in the room and closing it behind him.
He grabbed his bag and went into the bathroom. Kagome could hear him going about his nightly routine before he came back into the bedroom.
Inuyasha sighed and lay down on his side of the bed, moving slowly and quietly.
Kagome made sure her breathing was even and her heartbeat was steady. She didn't want him to know she was awake, so she feigned sleep. His hanyo nature always sensed when Kagome was awake, but this time...this time she just wanted him to leave her alone.
She heard him roll over to face her back.
A hand settled on her head as he carefully ran his claws through her hair. She could feel a thick sadness in his touch, and she wondered yet again why he was denying his feelings for her.
She heard him move closer to her until he hovered above, pressing the ghost of a kiss to her cheek. Kagome felt a wet strand of hair touch her, and she wondered if Inuyasha had been outside in the rain the whole time.
As he pulled away, she opened her eyes and turned her head.
As their gazes clashed, his eyes were full of the sadness she'd felt in his touch, and she saw a hint of regret there, too.
She reached up to cup his cheek in her hand, wanting to try one last time, but he moved away to roll over with his back to Kagome.
She felt her throat tighten, but she refused to let tears start to form. She wouldn't cry over this.
But that didn't make it hurt any less.
Why is he acting like this? He kissed me first. And it's not like I didn't like it...I haven't said it in so many words, but I made it pretty clear that I want more between us.
She drifted off to sleep much later, and her dreams were filled with a golden melancholy.
O.o.O.o.O
Inuyasha knew he made a mistake as soon as he heard Kagome's heartbeat pick up.
He'd thought she was asleep, which was why he made the stupid choice to kiss her after returning to the room that night.
It was chaste and just on her cheek, and he could tell she'd bathed given how her fresh-smelling hair filled his nose, and it filled him with warmth and made him want to tell her how much he loved her, because of course he'd been stupid enough to let it get to that point, reservations be damned.
But he wouldn't.
But then she'd turned to look at him, her eyes full of questions and...desire.
She felt the same way for him.
But it couldn't happen.
So the next morning, he pretended that he hadn't kissed her and pretended that they hadn't argued over his lie. Kagome barely spoke to him, but he couldn't blame her for it. He deserved her silence.
And...that was that.
To be continued…
So, uh, how did you guys like this one-bed-trope mixed with a first kiss mixed with angst mixed with Inuyasha being an idiot? Ahahah...
If the chapter has you wanting to punch something, just look at the art and you'll be fine! ;)