Author's Note: Today I'm updating all four of my WIPs because it's my birthday and I want to celebrate! Be sure to follow me for more stories or check out the Facebook group The Death Eater Express for updates! I hope you like this one.
Chapter Seven
How was Hermione expected to actually sleep locked in the arms of a snoring Thorfinn Rowle? It had to be impossible. For all he liked to brag about women finding him attractive, a fact that she too couldn't deny though she wished she could, she didn't imagine very many actually spent the night with him. The snoring wasn't terribly loud, but the sheer amount of heat his body gave off was enough to make her feel like she was lying next to a furnace. She didn't even need the heavy blankets with the infuriating man cuddled up behind her.
Being locked in his arms was far too familiar. She wished he slept in the chair like Dolohov. Any time she moved the slightest bit to get comfortable he would tighten his hold even when it was clear he was deep asleep. Clearly he hadn't been making a joke when he said holding her while he slept would be an effective way to keep her in place. She tried and failed numerous times to slip out of his embrace. Finally, she decided to stop trying. It was no use.
All she could seem to do in her current state was think. She wished she had the ability to turn off her brain long enough to get some peace, but what else could occupy her time? An entire day passed since she was first captured and she was no closer to figuring out her next moves than when she was caught. It was far too tempting to want to just give up. Kingsley's stern warning and the promise she made to him to do whatever was necessary was all that kept her from quitting. His opinion of her mattered more than anyone else's.
Where was Kingsley? Was he all right? She'd heard nothing about him since the day of the wedding when he warned them all the Death Eaters were coming. It was maddening being cut off from all outside news. Even when she was with Harry and Ron she didn't know what was going on in their world. Was it as bad as she feared it was?
Thorfinn shifted in his sleep inadvertently pulling her thoughts away from the auror. She could worry about Kingsley later when she was free. He was a grown and capable man who would want her to worry about her own problems.
Perhaps she was being overly confident, but Hermione got the impression that Thorfinn would be the easiest of the three to manipulate. He already felt protective of her as the previous evening confirmed. That could definitely be exploited to her advantage. She still felt that she needed to do whatever was necessary to pit her captors against each other. Even though it might have felt so, she wasn't entirely without weapons.
Without even meaning to, she moved again enough that the still slumbering man tightened his grip on her. His body betrayed him. Maybe she should've been horrified or offended to know how her presence next to him in bed affected him, but all she could do was smirk.
After spending the night in Ron's bed in the Burrow, she wasn't nearly as shy the other nights they found themselves sharing a sleeping bag. If Harry was aware what they were up to inside the tent when he was on guard duty, he certainly never said anything. She didn't think he knew. His mind was always too preoccupied for him to be observant.
But Hermione learned sleeping next to Ron that even involuntary biological responses could be used to her advantage. She carefully wiggled her bum against Thorfinn. It was subtle, yet effective. She kept moving until she felt his arms tighten around her again. His lips were just outside her ear.
"What are you doing, Princess?"
She tried to play innocent. Whether or not he believed it, she was unsure.
"I can't get comfortable."
"Stop squirming."
"Let me go. I can't get comfortable enough to sleep with you manhandling me."
"Never had a witch complain before."
A snort exploded out of her. It wasn't even an act. He was awfully full of himself, but she supposed he was handsome. Only trouble was he knew it.
"Perhaps you're just used to pathetic, lonely slags with no self-respect."
Thorfinn laughed but he didn't loosen his hold.
"Your mouth is going to get you into a lot of trouble one day, Princess."
She was certain she would never get used to being in his arms. Why couldn't he just cast a binding spell on her or create a secure bubble she could be alone in? His method of guarding her was highly irregular and unwelcome. It brought to mind Dolohov's accusation after she was captured. Even though she was sure she already knew the answer, Hermione wanted to hear it from his own mouth. She decided she would just be bold. Maybe he would respect her more for it.
"Was Dolohov right last night?"
His soft laughter ceased and he cleared his throat.
"He's rarely right about anything. Azkaban scrambled his brains."
"But was he that time? Did you only want to save me because you want to..?"
At the last second her plans to be bold and blunt failed her. She couldn't even bring herself to say it out loud. Some devious seducer she was turning out to be. If she couldn't say it, how could she hope to do it?
"Because I want to fuck you?"
She felt nervous, like a child which was not how she needed to feel to go through with her plan. In a close imitation to Thorfinn from a few moments earlier, she cleared her throat. She remembered that she was a Gryffindor and she thought about her promise to Kingsley to do anything no matter how devious to survive. Even if she didn't feel entirely confident, she couldn't let on.
"Well, yes. Do you want to fuck me?"
Instead of answered her with words, he showed her physical proof. Thorfinn rubbed the bulge she felt growing gradually larger and harder when she was squirming against her arse. No, there was no secret what he wanted to do. She hated the gasp that she couldn't stop. His voice dropped to a husky whisper.
"Does that answer your question?"
Hermione was thankful for the darkness of the room to hide her flushed cheeks. It was one thing to suspect and another to know the truth. She tried to remain calm. Far too much was at stake for her to lose her nerve. What was going to happen next? Should she go ahead and let it happen or would he be too suspicious of her eagerness? She was very nervous. Could he tell?
"Is that why you saved me from Dolohov? Why you gave me the bag and told me to run?"
Releasing his hold on her, Thorfinn rolled over onto his back with a heavy sigh. She was relieved he was no longer touching her. It was hard to think or breathe in his arms. Curious to know how he would answer, she nearly repeated her question. That turned out to be unnecessary. He simply required a minute to figure out what to say.
"No. I didn't save you from Dolohov just because I can to fuck you. I'd be lying if I said I haven't wanted to since I saw you in Hogsmeade last year, but no, I'm not an animal."
When she went on an ordinary Hogsmeade visit during her sixth year, Hermione never expected it to turn out to be so important. Frustrated with being unable to go anywhere in the castle without stumbling upon Ron and Lavender in varying stages of undress, she went into the village alone. Ignoring all of the other happy students going in to The Three Broomsticks or Zonko's or Honeyduke's, she walked to the very end of High Street where the shop Dogweed and Deathcap sold exotic plants and flowers. A fairly boring shop catering mostly to serious gardeners and potioneers, few students ever went inside. She hoped that for a few minutes she might find some peace and quiet.
Except when she turned down one narrow aisle in the shop she ran quite literally into Thorfinn. She hadn't seen him for years. In fact, she'd nearly forgotten he existed. Before she made friends with Harry and Ron first year, she used to hide in places around the castle to cry in private. Often she was unfortunate enough to cross the path of a seventh year Slytherin who thought it was funny to tease her about her 'blubbering'. She hadn't been sad at all when he left Hogwarts.
When he recognized her inside the shop years later, he made a disgusting, yet characteristic, remark about her arse after he verified she was over the age of seventeen. He then invited her to spend the rest of the afternoon in a private room in The Hog's Head. She nearly hexed him in his face. But even if he was obnoxious and crass, she couldn't deny he made her laugh. After all of the unpleasantness with Ron, it felt good to forget about him for a little while. Though she certainly didn't climb the stairs to the private rooms, she did allow Thorfinn to buy her a butterbeer.
"I saved you because I didn't think you deserved to die, especially not by that lunatic's hand. There's a reason why he's so feared."
"What do you care what happens to me? According to your kind, I'm just a worthless Mudblood who deserves to die."
He turned his head to meet her gaze. Even in the darkness she could see the rage in his eyes.
"Don't ever say that."
"Why shouldn't I? It's true, isn't it?"
"No, there's something… I don't know. There's something special about you. I knew it right away when I saw you that first time in Hogsmeade."
She didn't know what to say. Honestly, she never thought their shared history was all that memorable or special. Clearly she had affected him more than she ever realized. It was weird. They were practical strangers. If she hadn't seen him in the plant shop, he would've probably forgotten he ever knew her.
But no, a chance encounter in Hogsmeade's most boring shop put them on a strange path. Of course she thought he was attractive, if a bit arrogant. He started showing up at all Hogsmeade weekends after that to seek her out. She'd been flattered, but confused. Never would she have thought it would be anything more than a harmless flirtation. When she realized he was a Death Eater the night Professor Dumbledore were murdered, she knew it could never happen again.
"I'm not all that special."
"You're wrong, Princess. I didn't want you to get caught up in all of this. When I realized you were actually foolish enough to want to fight what was coming, I wanted to get you as far away as I could. Should've kidnapped you the night you altered your parents' memories. I could've kept you protected from arseholes like Dolohov."
He sighed again. Was he sincere? Part of her hoped he was just putting on act for her benefit. It would be easier to manipulate him if she thought he was manipulating her. Already she felt guilty and she hadn't even done anything. How could she possibly hope to do what was required to get out of her imprisonment? She didn't think she could do it. Not really. It was all so overwhelming.
Unable to keep her composure any longer, Hermione turned on her side with her back facing Thorfinn. She didn't want him to see the silent tears rolling down her cheeks. It was all too much. What was being asked of her just in the name of survival was too much.
"Please don't cry."
Thorfinn rolled back on his side too. He could've easily pulled her into his arms again, but he didn't. Was it actually possible for him to respect her boundaries? His hand quietly pat the outside of her arm in a tentative, almost nervous way. She couldn't be entirely sure he was being sincere. Maybe it was all an act and she was a fool to think she could ever get him to do what she wanted.
"You're safe with me. I promise."
"Maybe if I was just with you I could believe that, but I'm not, am I?"
If he'd gone through with his threat to kidnap her months earlier and lock her up in his flat, he might have had some control of her safety. Having two other people involved made it all much more complicated. Draco and Dolohov were unknown variables who could create major problems if they were so inclined.
"I won't let either of them hurt you."
"Dolohov followed me into the bathroom earlier when I wanted to take a shower. I was scared."
She could practically feel the rage radiating off of the wizard at her announcement. While Dolohov didn't technically do anything to her, the point was he could've. It would've been easy. They were alone and she was practically powerless. If the insane wizard wanted to hurt her, he had plenty of opportunity.
"If I have to kill Grandpa and the little brat to keep you safe, I will. I mean it. You have to promise me you will tell me if either of them do anything to hurt you."
There was real sincerity in his voice. She actually believed he meant what he said. The slightest provocation or perceived threat could very well end in the bloodshed she desired. Hermione had to fight the urge to smile. It wouldn't be appropriate and she didn't want to have to explain why she was smiling if he saw when she was supposed to be upset and scared.
"Do you promise me, Princess?"
"Yes."
His next sigh was tinged with a little bit of relief but it was mostly frustration. She wished she knew what he was really thinking. Almost as soon as that thought crossed her mind, he opened his mouth again. He would really need to learn to be more careful with what he casually revealed in the future. Someone might dare to use something he confessed against him to get what they wanted. The corner of her mouth twitched again. She bit her bottom lip to keep from smiling.
"I knew Grandpa was full of shit last night. Accuses me of wanting to fuck you and the first chance he gets to be alone with you, he's the creepy arsehole I knew he was. Bastard spent too much time in Azkaban without a woman. And he has the nerve to tell me I'm the one thinking with my cock too much."
There was clearly tension between the two Death Eaters far before she ever came into their world. Was that a common problem within their ranks? She couldn't imagine it was one of the most comfortable groups to be a part of. With so much ambition and evil and thirst for bloodshed, they must have all been willing to turn on each other for nothing. She hoped the members of the Order of the Phoenix, assuming any of them were still alive at any rate, wouldn't fall into the same traps. They needed to be united to be effective.
"Did he try to touch you? Don't lie to me, Princess. Please."
"No, it was just like you said. He was being creepy. I turned the water on and when I turned around he was staring at me from the doorway. I was scared, but when I asked him if he was going to watch me, he shut the door. I still felt uneasy the entire time I was in there. Maybe he watched me through the keyhole or a hole in the wall."
"Can't exactly blame the man for trying to sneak a look when that's exactly what I would do."
But you're just disgusting. Dolohov is… something else. I hate him. He's already tried to kill me twice. I don't think he'll ever be happy until I'm dead."
The emotion in her voice didn't need to be faked. She really was afraid of what Dolohov would do to her if given the chance. Thorfinn might like to believe he had the power to keep her out of danger, but he wasn't always there. What if something happened to him? Death Eaters didn't exactly lead quiet, uneventful lives. If he could no longer stand between her and Dolohov, she would be dead in a manner that was a certain to be excruciating and drawn out.
Hermione turned over until she was facing Thorfinn. No longer even trying to hide her tears, she threw her arms around his neck. Startled at first, it didn't take him long to wrap his arms around her back. She laid her head on his shoulder and cried.
"I'm so tired, Thorfinn. And scared. I just want to go home. I miss my parents so much I can hardly breathe and I'm afraid I'll never see them again. Everything is so hard. I don't feel like I'm safe anywhere. I don't want to fight anymore. I just want this all to be over."
Thorfinn tightened his embrace. It was very easy for Hermione to be so vulnerable because she was telling the truth. Even the tears were genuine. She was exhausted and wanted nothing more than for the war to be over, one way or the other. Of course victory for her side would be preferable, but she was rapidly getting to the point where she didn't care. Death had to be preferable to the constant running and fear and waiting. A human being could only endure so much before breaking. She was getting close to that point.
"Shh, it's all right. You don't have to cry. I understand. I really do. I want this all to be over too. It's not… it's not as much fun as I imagined it would be."
Admitting his feelings about the war out loud was potentially dangerous. If the wrong person heard him express anything other than the most fervent enthusiasm and devotion, he could be seen as a potential problem. Soldiers had been killed for less in war before. Hoping he might be willing to share a little bit more, she asked him a question she'd wanted to ask him nearly a year earlier when they were fighting on opposite sides of the same battle.
"Why did you become a Death Eater?"
For a long time the only sound they could hear was the wind blowing past the boarded up windows. After years of winters in the area, she knew a storm was coming. It would be miserable to be caught up in it outside. He didn't rush to answer nor did he immediately change the subject. Was it possible he didn't even know why he made his decision?
"Because the Dark Lord is going to win and I knew it would be easier in the long run if I just accepted it."
She wasn't sure why, but for some reason Hermione expected more. His reason made a little bit of logical sense if he really did believe evil would win over good. It wasn't uncommon for people to throw their support behind the side they perceived to be stronger whether or not they completely agreed. Often it was in hopes of profiting off of the new regime. Not always though. She assumed there was as many reasons one became a Death Eater as number of Death Eaters. It was lazy to assume they all had the same reason.
"My grandfather pushed me a little, but I mostly came to it on my own."
"And the violence and murder doesn't bother you?"
"I never said that, but what great civilization didn't start out with a little bit of blood? It won't always be like this."
She bit her tongue before she said something rude in response. Just because he was correct about the blood didn't mean it was right. The reason it wouldn't always be like it was was because eventually all of her friends and allies would be dead. Was he forgetting that part? Lots of people had to die for his new great civilization. Likely, she would even be one of them.
"If I'm loyal and prove myself to the Dark Lord, I'll be trusted and rewarded. That status could be used to make you untouchable. I could keep you safe."
For some reason she didn't fully understand, Thorfinn was on her side. It might turn out to be a massive mistake to trust him, but what other option did she have? Without his interference, Dolohov would've already killed her. She needed to remember that. It didn't matter how flawed his thinking was for the time being as long as she had a use for him. Later, when she was stronger and not in as much danger, she would reevaluate his worth and purpose in her plans.
"Right now I don't care so much about what will happen in the theoretical future. I care about the present and I'm scared you can't stop Dolohov from hurting me."
"I'll figure something out, Princess. Maybe I can't hide you in my flat, but I could help you escape."
"Can't you just let me out now?"
"Not yet. Dolohov and Malfoy would be problems. Please be patient. I meant it when I said I wouldn't let them hurt you."
Hermione released his hold on him to sit up and wipe her eyes. Knowing she must look dreadful, she climbed to of the bed. Thorfinn sat up on the verge of reaching out to drag her back in bed.
"I'm sorry. I just need a minute."
Inside the bathroom with the door shut and locked, Hermione splashed water on her face. As she used a clean towel to dry off, she couldn't keep from smiling. The first part of her plan to survive and escape was working perfectly.
It was a biological fact that most men were conditioned to feel protective of and be attracted to needy women. She always found that particular aspect of human behavior to be obnoxious even if she understood why. Evolution made men into natural protectors as a way to proliferate the human species. Really it was the same in a lot of different species. The reason so many male birds had brightly colored feathers while their female mates were more muted, even drab, was to draw the attention of predators away. As men needed to be needed, they inherently preferred women they could help. Hermione had to temporarily push away her usual independent nature to satisfy Thorfinn's primal instincts.
Already it seemed to be working, but she couldn't afford to get too cocky. Thorfinn was only one piece of her puzzle. She still had two others she needed to figure out. Unfortunately, neither of them were as easy.
When she felt she could trust herself to stop smiling and return her face to an expression that was more worried and uncertain, Hermione left the bathroom. Thorfinn still sat up in bed staring at the door. His eyes didn't leave her as she crossed the bedroom. At least he was handsome. Maybe it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen if she had to pretend to care for him. It could even be fun.
"Are you okay?"
She climbed back into the bed. Unlike earlier she didn't lay on the very edge of the mattress. Close enough for her arm to brush against Thorfinn's, she wanted him to think she wanted to be closer. Small steps added up over time. She couldn't just throw herself at him yet without rousing any suspicion. It needed to seem gradual, natural.
"I'm tired. Let's just go back to sleep."
He might have been dissatisfied with her answer, but chose not to push. Once he was back fully under the blankets, he reached for her again. She found it much easier to fall asleep the second time. It was only temporary. She could endure anything for a short period of time, right?