Kakashi grows too troubled to sit in her office, and so she takes her out for a late lunch.
"I have scrolls with food—"
"This is better."
"You're paying."
"Yes, yes."
Previously, he had thought that people were exaggerating when they crossed the other way when they saw them together. This time, with Sachi in her full Watchtower regalia and him with his usual jōnin vest, people were properly pissing themselves.
"We… don't want any trouble, Sachi-sama, Kakashi-sama."
"As you should." Sachi says, soothing the worried Akimichi waitress. "Do you have a booth available?"
The waitress, who was still flickering her eyes between them and trembling in her spot, nodded and pointed them to the nearest booth.
"Are we truly this bad?"
"Do you remember last time we were in a restaurant together?" she tells him, recalling the memory.
"You were the one that set it on fire."
"Nu-uh. Your kunai made the hot oil fall, and it caught the cook's apron."
Right. It was during Sachi's birthday, and Kakashi might have been a little drunk when he caught sight of her. She was laughing, and ignoring him, and he… he hadn't like that one bit. His aim was the same when he was drunk, but he had forgotten about other people when he sent her a warning.
Sachi laughs. "So you admit it! I was so pissed at you."
"You threw the oil at me."
She doesn't look sorry at all. "You deserved it."
They were about to call a waitress, a different one, just to mess with them when Sachi perked up in her seat and said:
"Ah, seems you have company."
Kakashi doesn't get to ask what she means when the door of their booth slides open, revealing an out of breath Genma with his senbon caresslesly hanging from his mouth.
"Is... is it true?!" he gasps.
"Not even a hello, Shiranui?"
"Did you fuck it out?!"
The following minutes are dead silent as the three of them stare at each other with blank faces, and the whole restaurant stops what they are doing to eavesdrop. Kakashi is praying to whatever gods are listening for Genma to find his brain cells before Sachi drives him out the wall, while simultaneously curiously watching Sachi's expression.
It wasn't often that Sachi was stunned silent.
"... fuck?" she asks, and her tone is curious, deceptively calm. "Do you know something that I don't, Shiranui?"
He realizes right then and there that he has fucked up. Genma riles back, looking at Kakashi for help; the Hatake shakes his head, throwing him to the wolves.
"Um—"
"My! Genma, you found us a booth!" comes a familiar below. "Oh! Eternal rival! How hip is to find you here! I would have never guessed!"
Not even Sachi's pulsating vein is threating enough for the Green Beast of Leaf, who appears in a whirling of excitement before practically diving into the booth besides Kakashi, leaving Genma to take a seat at Sachi's side with a very pale face.
"Guys! Kakashi is here!" Gai continues yelling.
And lo and behold, Kurenai and Asuma arrive too. Kakashi wonders if Ebisu will be coming in the next second, but the people stop at the maybe-maybe-not-couple.
"Oh, Sachi-san. What a surprise." she casts a knowing glance towards Kakashi, before forcing Genma to scoot over to let her sit too, Asuma sliding to Gai's side.
Any man would have envied Genma's position right now, in the middle of two beautiful yet terrifying women, if only those women weren't Sachi and Kurenai. The latter could make you kill yourself with her genjutsu and the former could make you kilherself with only words.
Kakashi smiled under his mask, Genma's sweat trickling down his neck as Sachi's gaze was pinned on him.
"You got out of your tower, Sachi?" Asuma asks, flagging down a waitress.
"Just got back in, actually." she says, giving Genma a break to breathe. "Is that strange to see me out?"
He's intrigued to know where Asuma and Sachi stand. From Kakashi's memory, he didn't give her too much thought, but he wasn't outright hostile either. Kurenai wasn't bothered, and Kakashi would bet his left eye that Asuma didn't dare cheat on his girlfriend with Sachi, out of all people.
"You are so hardworking, Sachi-kun!"
"Keep it down, Gai." he says, catching Sachi's flinch. They were all used to Gai's decibels, but Sachi was still contused.
The comment didn't pass unnoticed by the table, filled with ninjas trained to notice the smallest details. Whatever they saw, made them look suspiciously towards Sachi and then back at him.
"Do you want to drink with us, Sachi-san?"
"Oh, no, she's very, very, busy… right Sachi?"
Sachi smiles towards Kurenai, in a way that only women understand, and said. "I'm not allowed to drink, but I'll keep you company."
"... not allowed?" Kurenai repeats, her cheeks flushing minutely. "Oh my."
"What? What's happening, Kurenai?" Genma mutters, afraid.
Sachi turns to Kakashi, giving him a meaningful look. "Isn't that right, Kakashi?"
Oh.
"Ah, yes. We've just gotten back from the hospital." he says, feigning a sigh. The table's occupants face's drop at that statement. "Kasui would kill me if I let you drink."
"So honorable! I knew you had a heart of gold, rival!" Gai throws a hand over his shoulders. "Taking care of one's friends is a venerable trait! Let's toast to you, Kakashi!"
"I'm not drinking either. I have to take care of Sachi," Gai's eyes filled with tears, saying something about his apparently virtuous personality, while Genma and Asuma are getting paler by the second, Kurenai red as a cherry. "it wouldn't be fair for me to drink when she can't."
Asuma gives him a startled look, while Genma mouths at him 'oh no, you didn't'. Kakashi is all innocent puppy eyes while he orders for both of them. Tea, with ice for Sachi, she likes it that way, while the others take their usual poison of choice.
Kurenai, who has been squirming in her seat with a barely contained smile, breaks the silence first. "So… are you okay, Sachi-san? Did something happen for you to go to the hospital?"
"Hmm, the usual?" she drags out, thinking her answer as if there's nothing implied. "Kasui wasn't happy, but he can't do nothing about it, he babies me a lot."
The mention of babies makes everyone except Gai choke on their drink, Kurenai slapping Genma on his back as he nearly swallowed his senbon. Kakashi and Sachi don't react, the latter sipping her tea languidly.
"Anyone would, after what happened." Kakashi drags out.
"It was your fault." she accuses with a pout.
"You were involved too."
"I don't know what you're talking about." she says, pointedly ignoring how the booth is dripping with tension. "At least Anko wasn't mad at you."
"Yeah, or Tsume."
The mention of the Inuzuka Clan Head, who is Sachi's second mother after Ashi, makes Kurenai gasp and put a hand over her mouth, almost crying with excitement.
"You're practically family now."
They stare into each other's eyes on purpose, trying very hard not to break form as they continue speaking.
"Ah, yes. You mentioned taking your surname. Inuzuka Kakashi, it does sound nice."
"Right? Don't you agree, Shiranui?"
"Wha?"
"Or Hatake Sachi," he continues, ignoring Asuma's soul exiting his body next to him. "what do you think? I like this one better."
He did, very much in fact.
She blinks, surprised. "Oh, it is nice. We'll need to get the paperwork, though."
"We'll figure something out, we still have time."
Genma might have passed out.
"T-time?" Kurenai stutters. "For… for what Kakashi?"
"Yeah, for what?" Asuma sides with his girl. "What's going on? Do you have something to tell us?"
"Tell what?" Asuma tries kicking him but Gai is a wall between them, and he puts his head in his hand, bored. "There's nothing to tell, right, Sachi?"
"Nothing at all." she sips her tea. "Except…" everyone hangs onto Sachi, waiting for a reveal of some kind, before she adds: "I'm going to the bathroom."
There's a collective groan as the woman gets up and leaves the booth, Kurenai following after her in the strange habit of women flocking together to go to the bathroom. They wait exactly one second before Genma leans over and says.
"You fucked her! You son of a bitch, you actually did it!"
"That's a very unhip way of speaking, Genma!"
"Gai, shut up for a sec. Kakashi here," he points with an accusatory finger "has nailed the fuckin' Watchtower. Oh my god, dude, what were you thinking!" he cries.
"Kakashi… you are like a brother to me, but—"
"And you got her pregnant!" Genma weeps, yanking his hair out. "Are you going to have a shotgun wedding? Is that it?"
"Eternal rival? A father?"
"I'm your best man, right?" asks Asuma while Genma has a meltdown in the background. "Fuck, Kurenai is going to have ideas now, man."
Kakashi enjoys the chaos before the women get back. Gai is crying and jumps to his feet, taking Sachi's hands into his and saying "Congratulations! I knew you were a good woman, Sachi-kun!"
Sachi breaks into a grin. "My, thank you, Gai-san. Didn't know you thought so highly of me—" Gai is hugging her, and Kakashi is concerned that he might broke her in half, but is surprisingly gentle.
"Gai! Mind your strength!" Kurenai chides, to no avail.
"Don't hurt her, Gai." Kakashi reminds him, adding fuel to the fire as he puts Sachi down and she can take her seat back. "You good?"
"Everyone is very excited. What are we celebrating?"
"You're pregnant!" Genma shrieks. "You have Kakashi's baby inside of you, I'm gonna be sick—"
That makes them snap, Kakashi and Sachi burst out laughing as Genma is horrified, Gai is overly appreciative, Asuma is expecting the worst and Kurenai excited. The room stops their disorganized yells, screams and curses as they laugh until their bellies hurt.
Kakashi stops before Sachi, hearing how she's almost crying with laughter. Her voice rings like bells, and Kakashi can't help but keep on chuckling, a bubbling sort of amusement that's foreign to him, but oh, so warm.
Sachi opens her eyes, and Kakashi wants to wipe out that stray tear in her glowing golden eyes. Her cheeks are pink, visible even with her red fangs, and he can't help but think that it suits her.
"Oh! My head," she says, smiling still. "you didn't tell me you celebrated brain injuries like this, Kakashi."
"There's usually more drinking involved." he amends, noticing the dislodged jaws. "What? You didn't know Sachi was injured?"
"What?"
"I'm apparently pregnant, not contused. Might know who the father is?"
They blanch again, and it's marvelous to watch the color drain from their faces as they realize what they did. "Not me, that's for sure. Kasui would kill me for good if I try."
" —wait a minute! You… you didn't fuck? And get pregnant? And plan for a wedding?"
"Of course not." Sachi says, recovering her serious expression.
"Then… what's this of Kakashi taking care of you?" Kurenai asks as discreetly as she could.
"Kakashi broke my skull in a spar, Kasui got pissed and now Kakashi has to take care of me until I'm better."
They turn to Kakashi for confirmation, and he says. "Yeah, pretty much."
"So… no baby?" Gai asks, conflicted. "But…"
"No, no baby. No wedding, either."
"But you were saying about changing surnames!"
"Because we can joke and not mean anything by it? If I said that Shiranui Sachi is a good name would it mean that I would like to marry you?" Sachi deliberately looks Genma up and down, and makes a disgusted face. "Thanks, but no thanks."
"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Oh… Sachi-san, you led us on on purpose." she huffs, taking a seat. "I need another drink."
Sachi snickers, looking back at Kakashi. It was… good, to be like this. Kakashi could imagine Sachi in his group of friends, very much like Kakashi could picture himself in the Inuzuka household. Both were situations that a week ago he would have scoffed at, but now…
He wants them, both of them.
"You broke her skull?" Asuma says, recovering from his stupor. "Wonder how that happened."
"I slipped." Sachi says, a bit quicker than was considered casual. "He got a lucky hit."
"You… slipped."
"It was very dark." she insists.
"Are you okay? Those are bad wounds." Kurenai says, too good for this world not to be concerned despite having been played seconds before.
"She died." Kakashi answers.
The easy-going atmosphere falls instantly, replaced by the uneasiness that comes when Inuzuka Sachi and Hatake Kakashi are in the same room.
"I got better." Sachi says, finishing her tea. "Kakashi apologized, too."
And just like that, his friends start laughing, incredulous.
They leave not long after, Kakashi not having forgotten Sachi's delicate condition as his friends got increasingly drunk. For good measure, he leaves their dinner tab on them, just to mess with them even more.
Sachi is in a good mood beside him, walking together to her house. "We got 'em good."
"That we did." he agrees quietly. It was early in the morning, and he didn't want Sachi to lose on sleep, she needed to rest. "They really thought we…"
"Yeah." she chuckles, not a full cackle, but more of shy laugh. "At least we know who to invite to the wedding."
Wedding, huh? How would she look, in a wedding kimono? The image of Sachi in white robes instead of her regular black, with the headpiece and the little fan stirred something in his shriveled heart. It seemed to beat anytime he thought of her, but he couldn't figure out why. Was it arrhythmia? Kasui would piss on his corpse if he ever died of heart failure.
"What did Kurenai say to you in the bathroom?"
"She said that she was… happy, for us." she answers, her tone soft, mindful of the early hour and the sleeping Leaf. "And if we picked up a name yet."
"That sounds like her."
"Kurenai-san is a good friend, she cares about you."
"And you figured out how? Not killing you in the bathroom for tainting my honor?"
"Well, she did make some questions whether we were serious… she was pretty scary, if I might say."
"Coming from the woman that has Kasui and Anko as her teammates…" she punches him in the shoulder lightly.
"My teammates aren't scary." she fusses. "You just piss 'em off."
"Anko doesn't try to kill me, though."
"Nah, that's what Kasui is for. Speaking of which, he's going to visit me soon."
"For what? Haven't I done a good enough job?"
"You have, don't worry. It's the stitches, they're itching like hell."
He's… relieved, and at the same time annoyed. He doesn't dwell on why, as they get to Sachi's house and… it smells like him.
Sachi's scent is mixed with his, and although his is not as prominent it is there. It smells like home, fresh and icy with iron and pine.
Home.
They take turns into the bathroom, Kakashi climbing the stairs into the bedroom before flopping down on the bed. It's not after Sachi enters, a loose shirt with shorts that he realizes that he might have overstepped. She doesn't say anything, untying her hair and letting it loose over her shoulders.
"Have you ever thought about getting married?" he blurts out.
"With you or in general?"
"... in general."
"Yes, sometimes. I thought that it was a natural progression," she gets into the bed, stretching herself over the sheets. "study, get a job, find a partner, marry, have kids… that sort of thing. That was before becoming a ninja, though."
"And now?"
"Well, I'm too busy to seek out that kind of relationship. Between my job, my family, and you, there's little time for anything else, anyone else."
"Am I… cockblocking you?"
She laughs. "I'm not blaming you, darlin'. I'm just saying that it's difficult for me to find someone important enough for me to put aside those things. Cockblocking? That would need someone to actually be interested in me in that way."
Kakashi doesn't know how to feel about it. Sachi had included him, but whatever that implied was lost to him. And yet, he was glad to know that there wasn't someone to take her away from him.
That thought chilled him to his bones.
"And you?" she asks, genuinely interested. "Am I keeping you away from someone?"
Sachi's face is turned in his direction, a placid glint in her eyes that seem to glow in the dark. She reaches a hand, brushing it against his forehead; it was a simple touch, one that he had learned not to be driven away by, and he stopped himself from leaning into it.
"... no. There's never been anyone… like that."
"Oh? What about the women and men that throw themselves at you?"
"I haven't been in that kind of relationship, Sachi, I never said I was celibate." he counters, her warm fingers putting away a strand of his hair, gentle, gentle, gentle—
"No marriage then?"
"I'll need someone for that, I wouldn't marry myself."
She huffs a laugh, settling on her side and blinking tiredly at him. "You aren't that bad. A little unhinged, but not enough to be a bachelor forever. Unless it's your thing."
"What about you? No relationships, flings?"
"What part of busy didn't you hear?" she says, before adding. "I had a fling, once. Didn't like it and didn't try again."
"Why? Was it that bad?"
"My, my, Kakashi, interested in my love life?" she teases, but he knows she's defensive about the topic. "Not everyone is interested in my sparring skills, darlin', other go for the head. My idea of pillowtalk isn't divulging the secrets of Leaf."
"Oh." he says eloquently "I haven't thought about that."
He could tell he gave him a tired smile, even in the dark. He saw Sachi as more of a nuisance than anything, recently human, but never as the intimidating woman that all the necessary information to destroy Leaf in her brain. Still, the thought of someone trying to take advantage of her in that way makes his blood boil, because—
Because he wouldn't. He wouldn't ask, he wouldn't pry, he would understand.
"Sometimes they ask about my eye." Kakashi says into the silent room, just to tell Sachi that he knows how it feels like. "Talking about how your teammates died after sex isn't great either."
"Go figure."
.
Kakashi wakes up with a blanket over him but without Sachi. He should feel annoyed that she had been able to sneak around without him noticing, but he's too well rested for it.
She isn't in her study, but the Barbican tells him that there's another person in the house. His first clue should have been that Sachi wasn't in the kitchen fixing breakfast, or the bathroom; instead, Kakashi had to go to the basement, and once there, into the lab.
"Orochimaru-sama." he greets, unsure if he should've just turned around and book it for the hills.
The man regards him with unsettling yellow eyes, his jet black hair tied low on his back. He's wearing a lab coat with blue gloves, and there are several substances and powders on a metal table that are the color of blood.
"Hatake." he says, perfectly even. "Do you need something?"
Kakashi has the impression that he has stumbled into the snake's nest, reconsidering his life choices that made him forget that Sachi had very scary people in her life that visited her often. Tsunade and Jiraiya were known for their strength, as well as their volatile personality; but, if he were to choose, Orochimaru was the most dangerous.
Having Orochimaru in the lab made his skin crawl in a way that seeing a snake slither towards you would, with unknown intentions and possibly ready to poison you.
"Where's Sachi?" he asks, deciding that running away would only make the Sannin chase after him, probably to feed him to his snakes.
Orochimaru gives him an impassive expression, and yet it perfectly depicted profound disappointment. He said very slowly "Why should I know?"
Because you're in her basement? He wanted to ask, but he preferred to get out as soon as possible.
"I see." he retreats, and gets out of the house without even looking back.
If Sachi isn't in her house, then the next most probable location was…
"There you are."
"Here I am." Sachi greets, rubbing her eyes. "Slept well?"
"You left me behind." Kakashi accuses, closing Sachi's tower office and taking a seat on her desk. "Something happened?"
"Huh? Ah, right. There was something I needed to do in the office and I didn't want to wake you up."
"You should've."
"There are many things I should do, but I do what I want." she amends, typing furiously in her machine. "How was sensei, by the way?"
"How is he supposed to be?" he retorts. "He was in the lab."
"Doing what?"
"I don't think he would have answered me even if I asked." he says, looking out of the window. Minato's office overlooked the village, while hers had a frontal view of the Hokage Monument and the Hokage Residence. "I don't want Orochimaru-sama to be on my case."
"Sensei won't eat you, Kakashi. He doesn't eat humans, too many diseases."
"Thanks, that's good to know." he snarks, pulling a small smile from her. It's a victory. "I did ask him where you were."
"Why?" she asks, looking at him with knitted brows.
"Because he was in your house? You weren't there and he was, so…"
"So… you thought we swapped bodies, or something? Kakashi, darlin', I did tell you that sensei goes into the lab to do his experiments. My family drops by sometimes, and Kushina or Naruto appear at random intervals, usually when I make cookies." she explains, finishing typing and gathering the papers into a neat pile. "Does it bother you?"
"I was surprised to see him, that's all. I thought he was you down there."
"Ah," she chuckles "I think he was more surprised to see you there."
"Didn't show it. I think he doesn't like me."
"Sensei doesn't like a lot of people, hell, he doesn't like me."
"You are his student."
"Which is why he doesn't like me." she laughs. "You might have forgotten, but I was a very difficult child growing up. Sensei was tired of my shit before we even met, it only got worse from there."
Kakashi did remember, because how he could forget? They met in the Chūnin Exams, and he instantly hated her. The thought of Sachi, as a genin, unhinged and too cocky to be a subordinate makes him wince. In hindsight, Orochimaru was the only teacher that could have curbed that behavior from her, through a very painful process.
"You're still alive, so he might not hate you."
"Oh, sensei doesn't hate me, he doesn't like me. He's annoyed at me most of the time, but I know I can go to him for help." she says, getting up and making her spine pop into place. "Damn, I'm getting old."
"You're older than me, so…"
"Age jokes, really?" she says, unimpressed. "I'm only two years older than you, and you aren't getting any younger either, you have white hairs already."
It's his turn to level her with a look. "It's grey, and I was born with it. It's not as if you aren't getting white hairs yourself."
The remark makes Sachi stiffen minutely, but playing it off by leaning over her Barbican. It lights up, the dots marching like ants across the black glass. Kakashi, just to fill the silence, points to a dot next to Prairifire Square. "Who's that?"
"Ora Daisuke, accompanied by his daughter Megumi."
Kakashi didn't know who they were, probably one of the civilians or merchants. "Okay, where is… Asuma?"
"With Kurenai, having a nice date at Nodokana."
"Nodokana? What's that?"
"A fancy tea shop that Kurenai likes to frequent, I think she likes the jasmine brew."
"... how do you know that?" Kakashi could read the small inscription on the glass that put a name to the building several dots were at, Kakashi only blindly guessing who Kurenai and Asuma were.
"They have a special day of the month that they put that brew on sale for half the usual price. It was either that or the fluffy peach cakes, but Kurenai doesn't like cake."
"Creepy."
"You asked." she says, taking note of something that put a frown on her brows. "Hmm."
"What? Something happened?"
"Things always happen." she mutters, adding "But it's not that. Watch this."
She scribbles something on a note, the paper signed with her Watchtower stamp for urgent delivery. Sachi went behind her desk, over to the giant windows and opened them. The breeze makes several of the papers flutter, but they stay put.
There was a small stepping plank. It's empty for exactly one second before an ANBU officer appears. They have a mask painted with bird features, a small beak but intense eyes. Hawk, he knew.
"Deliver this." she hands them the note, which is spirited away in a blink, and with a polite bow, they're gone.
"Wow, you have your own squad." he comments, interested. "Who was that?"
"You'll need to figure that yourself, I'm not giving away classified information." she turns back, closing the windows. "I can't be spared when I'm in the office, and sometimes I need important messages delivered as soon as possible."
"Makes sense." he agrees, as Sachi couldn't be running from one side of the village to another when she had so much work to do. "They wait all day for you to give them errands?"
She rolls her eyes. "You might think it's not that fun, but if you knew which type of intel they had, you would reconsider. For your information, they have a rotation, since I can't just keep a group of ANBU around. Although they don't have much time to get bored."
Kakashi supposes they don't. He is curious about what kind of messages need to be relayed, and to whom, but he wasn't that insistive to ask. The inner workings of Leaf had Sachi at its center, and it became more and more obvious as he spent more time with her.
The rest of the day goes in the same boring manner. Sachi sometimes calling her birds to deliver her messages, and Kakashi had noted who to look for next time he went into the ANBU HQ. For now he had Owl, Hawk and Sparrow.
And yet, Kakashi can't help but watch Sachi from the corner of his eye, her head lolling to the side every so often, and her rubbing her temples at regular intervals. She took her pills, and her bandages were clean, but there was an odd sense of foreboding that kept him restless.
It is only after dinner that Kakashi notices something truly wrong when Sachi asks him two times in a row what time it is. She is looking towards the clock in the living room, but blinking and rubbing her eyes as if she can't see it.
"Eight in the afternoon." he tells her again. "Can't you tell?"
"I think I'm tired…"
"You've worked all day."
"Huh?" she says, squinting her eyes. "Hey, Kakashi, what time…?"
Kakashi catches her as she faints, noticing how hot her body is. "Sachi? Sachi!"
She doesn't answer, trembling in his arms as her eyes roll back. "Temperature rising, temperature rising!" the snail exclaims, "Need lower temperature, lower temperature!"
Kakashi acts fast, carrying Sachi to the bathroom and dumping her into the bathtub, starting the water and keeping Sachi's head out of the water. Her teeth are clamped shut, and her body is shaking so much that he is afraid that she's going to break a hand in one of her stray punches.
The snail advises him to get ice, a convenient scroll in a basket that he unseals until every last icecube is in the tub. The ice melts quickly, proof of how high her temperature is, but it recedes as rapidly as it appeared.
Kakashi has his heart in his throat, guilt washing over him like the ice on Sachi's skin. Her skin is flushed still, and he doesn't know what do do to help her. He tries getting the shirt off, before Sachi starts mumbling.
"... not… look."
"You need to cool down." he tells her, carefully gripping the soaked shirt. "It's not something I haven't seen."
His reassurances fell short as Sachi stops his hand from moving. Too late, as Kakashi catches a glimpse of the scars on her belly that go up her torso. He doesn't move, as Sachi opens an eye, and hisses "d-don't… l-ook."
"Hatake," comes a deep voice from the door. Kasui is there, his hands glowing blue. "get out."
"I didn't…"
"Get. Out." he grits and doesn't wait for him to release Sachi before he's pushing him away. "I'm taking over. Get lost."
"Sachi's hurt—"
"Close the fucking door."
Kakashi has half a mind to tell Kasui to fuck off, but he listens and gets out. He doesn't go away, instead, he leans on the wall opposite of the bathroom and waits. His hands and chest are wet, uncomfortably so, but he has gone through much shittier in missions. And yet, he feels worse.
He had been too shocked to realize it then, after that spar gone wrong, but he didn't want Sachi to get hurt, to die.
(He didn't want to be alone.)
When Kasui appears again, miffed and fixing the wet sleeves when he spots him. His face contorts in the usual disgusted scowl he had just for him, and stops before he was seated. People often spoke about the hatred between Kakashi and Sachi, but they forgot that Kasui hated him just as much, if not much more, than her.
"How's she?"
"The usual." he vaguely tells him. "Why? You suddenly started caring about her?"
Kakashi didn't know why Kasui hated him, and as long as he healed him when he had to, he didn't bother to ask. Sage knew that he hardly got along with anyone besides those that were used to him, but Kasui's disdain towards him was openly admitted.
"She… that was a seizure." he continues, ignoring the piercing glare he gave him behind his glasses.
"Yes."
Kasui doesn't seem surprised, or punching him senseless. He was worried, the stress showing in his ashen skin and disheveled hair. His eyes cold as stone, and utterly cruel.
"Does it happen often?"
The medic looks down at him with deadly silence. Kasui was one the Terrors, and Sachi might have orchestrated it all, but it wouldn't have been possible had he not been there. He wasn't that tall of a man, but Sage forgive those that tried messing with him or those he loved. Kakashi checked all the boxes, but this time— he didn't care.
He gets up, gaining a few inches on him and forcing him to change his stance to look up at him. "Does Sachi have seizures often?" he asks again.
"And if I tell you she does, what will you do about it?" he says, controlling himself. "If Sachi gets fevers so high that she starts seizing, that she could die at any moment, drop dead— what will you do about it?"
Kasui was the best medic after Tsunade, if not on par with her. If Kasui hadn't found a cure to whatever made Sachi so weak, then it was a lost cause. Kakashi confirmed it when he looked straight into his brown eyes, and how his rage was partially directed at him, and then at himself, for being unable to help his teammate.
Such was the question.
What could Kakashi do about it?
Except making it worse?
"I—"
"Don't." he warns, and he takes a step back, exhausted. "Sachi's fine now. I will withdraw the lawsuit, you can leave."
Kakashi is startled, for Kasui rarely gave up. He feels freed, somewhat, the guilt of having to stay with Sachi for having hurt her is still difficult to overlook, but now… he could leave. He was forgiven, he wouldn't face any repercussions from his actions, he could go back to his apartment and then take a mission and everything will be the same.
But then Sachi could get another seizure.
"What if I don't want to?"
And he's trying his luck, because Kasui stops in his tracks and looks at him with his eyes wide and his glasses sliding up down his nose. The spark of outrage flames and Kakashi sees how Kasui turns sharply and takes a step towards him that could have very well levelled mountains in his wrath.
"You don't get to decide that." he seethes. "This is the first time you've actually seen her like this, and you feel bad?" he scoffs, and Kakashi feels every jab in that question. "Have you ever stopped to… think what it was for her? For us? Seeing her get hurt again and again because of you?"
Kasui doesn't need to slap or punch him to make it hurt, and Kakashi can only take it. He had always reached out for Sachi because she was always available to him, to get out his frustrations, to forget and tire himself out before he could get a few hours of sleep. But Sachi had always been coddled by those around her, and this was the first time Kakashi saw that it might have a reason for It.
"I brought her back this time," Kasui says, his voice trembling. "but next time maybe I won't be able to."
Kakashi had not only hurt Sachi now, but several times. How many spars have they had? How many fights, arguments and thinly veiled murder attempts? It had been… their thing, their deal. And yet, Kakashi feels disgusted by it, knowing that each time he got to run away from his ghosts Sachi was left hurting and needing to be taken care of.
"Leave, Hatake." Kasui advises him, finding the strength to pull away a second time in what Kakashi knows is respect for his teammate and her home. "Leave Sachi alone."
It was a plea, a beg for him to understand.
"Number thirty-six! Low tension!"
Kasui nods towards his snail and gives him one last look before he leaves in a blink.
Kakashi is left wondering what he should do, what he could do? He hadn't considered the consequences of his actions until now, and he was feeling faint. He should leave, cut Sachi from his life so she could be happy, so her teammates didn't have to worry about her dying because of him, that Leaf would crumble if she wasn't there to keep watch over it.
And yet, his worry was deeper still.
"That was risky." Sachi tells him when he enters the bathroom, finding her on the edge of the tub and drying her hair with a towel. "One day Kasui is going to kill you."
Kakashi doesn't listen to her and slowly makes his way until she reaches her. She's dripping wet, another towel hiding her soaked body and what scars she had. His legs give out and he's kneeling before her, and before he knows it, her cold hands pat his head like she would with a kicked puppy.
"Don't apologize." she warns, but she's too debilitated to put any heat in it. "I don't regret any of our spars."
Kakashi is a lose of words and he puts his head on her knee, his body shaking under all the years he had spent hating her, abusing her and slowly killing her. And she hadn't complained, not once; not once did she tell him to stop, or ask him why.
"Is something wrong?" she had asked him, and Kakashi's heart clenched with sorrow.
"...why?" he asks instead.
Sachi continues to pet him, and Kakashi can't find solace in her warm body when he knows it's due to an injury so grave that not even Kasui could heal. Sachi was crippled, she admitted it herself, and everyone took it for granted but never saw any of her struggle. But there it was, a seizure that could've ended so badly had he not been with her, had Kasui not come to help her.
How could she live like that?
How could Kakashi live knowing that?
"You're the only one that doesn't treat me like I'm weak." she says, the bathroom so big and so quiet that it echoes. "I know I'm not strong, but… everyone looks at me and sees what happened to me, instead of who I am, of what can I do."
Kakashi looks up, afraid to see resentment in her eyes, and finding self-pity. He brushed a droplet of water from her cheek, tracing the red fang underneath. "You aren't weak."
Her smile is fragile, and Kakashi sees more wounds that Kasui won't be able to close.
"A fighter, instead of a survivor." she had told him, what she saw in him.
"I never thought you were weak." he mumbles, and he can't help looking into her eyes. "Not ever."
"That's why I don't regret being with you."
The admission is like a kunai to his heart, and his breath hitches. He had been so lost with his ghosts that he forgot that there were living human beings that looked out for him still. Sachi, trapped in her tower while she played by herself, revered by those ignorant and cosseted by those that loved her, was alone.
But not with him.
"C'mon." she says, patting his cheek fondly. "I'm tired. You staying?"
"Yes."
Always.
.