A/N: When I read this back I realised I'd essentially written the script to a drama CD, so I apologise that it's dialogue-heavy, but I'm also not sorry because this is exactly what I want. Pls join the petition for DB gods drama CD.

Chapter 7: The Skies Are Observed From the Best Vantage Point; Gods Participate in Unironic Gender Discussion

"No saiyans?" Shin asked. "Just me?"

"Just you," Beerus confirmed. "The saiyans have ditched me to go and play with Broly, can you believe it?"

"My lord, if you made them feel more welcome, maybe they wouldn't have gone looking elsewhere," Whis said.

"Whatever, I don't care." He pulled Shin close and ruffled his hair. "I have you to keep me company."

"What are we going to do?" Shin asked.

Beerus shrugged. "You said you were free. So let's just hang out."

"No work?"

"Pfft, work?! Come on, we can just have a day off. I'm even giving Whis the day off to go and sample a load of restaurants Bulma's recommended."

"Oh, you are?" Shin asked, not entirely sure he wanted Whis that far away.

"Yes, now you're here, he's free to go."

Whis bowed. "I'll be back with an assortment of the best dishes."

Beerus couldn't help licking his lips with anticipation. "I can't wait." Once Whis was gone, he bid Shin to follow him.

"Where are we going?" Shin asked when he realised Beerus was heading into the dense forest that made up the edge of his planet.

"Somewhere I think you'll like."

They walked further, and Shin simply enjoyed the scenery, never having found a reason to be on this part of the planet before. "There's wildlife?"

"We used to keep animals for fresh meat, but these days we source whatever I fancy from across the universe and only use these if the population starts getting out of hand."

"You like them then?"

Beerus nodded. "They make the place seem more real. Not that I don't love this place, but it's a square piece of land floating in the middle of space at the end of the day, and sometimes it just doesn't cut it. That North Kai has a tiny planet now, but at least if he walks in a straight line he can go round and round without end. If I walk in a straight line it doesn't take long before I'm at the edge, and then I feel like this is a little prison someone built me."

"I can reform your planet if you like?" Shin offered.

"No, I like my weird planet. It was clearly made specifically for whatever destroyer commissioned it, not natural in the slightest. I like that I probably have the only pyramidal-shaped planet in the universe. Say, if you see one like this, let me know so I can add it to the list for destruction."

"That hardly seems fair."

Beerus gave a short laugh. "I don't care. I can't have people copying me."

"Was Yadrol's destruction to your liking?" He hadn't been looking out for it, but it had been hard to ignore when it happened.

"Oh yes, very much so." The chain reaction of setting off the reactors went according to plan, and while he wanted to recount the story to Shin, he felt like the kai might not appreciate it, so he said nothing more.

They came to the edge of the planet, and it looked like Beerus had specifically had this part cleared of bushes and trees so you could sit on the edge and gaze out. He sat, patting the space next to him. "What do you think?"

"Strange how one can feel afraid of falling off when one, I can fly, and two – well, I presume gravity wouldn't have me fall far?"

"The centre of gravity is at the base point on the pyramid." Beerus pointed downwards even though they couldn't see it from there. "So you can still fall down at least. Do you want me to push you so you can find out?"

"No, thank you."

Beerus slid an arm around his waist. "Then I'll make sure you don't fall."

"I think I'll be fine," he said, trying to get away.

Beerus huffed. "Why are you always trying to get away? No one's here – I even went to the trouble of getting rid of Whis."

"I suppose I'm just not used to this kind of contact. Maybe you'd like to hypothesise about the fact I grew off a tree and didn't have someone to mother me?"

"Oh yes, Whis really liked the tree story from last time."

"Kibito was speechless. I think he thought too much about it. I could almost see his brain churning the idea around, and thinking, do trees enjoy being pollinated? And seeing as he's spent much more time on our home planet with other kais, I think we can safely assume no one thinks about pollination like you were suggesting."

"Well, maybe they did, but realised how weird they were. But, speaking of last time…"

"You told Whis." Shin didn't seem impressed.

"Well, duh. I tell him pretty much everything after all. He thinks it's very cute."

"I, on the other hand, haven't had anyone to talk to about it. So, I assume you've sorted all your feelings about it, while I'm still a mess."

"I didn't tell Whis to use him as some sort of therapist. Besides, I know what I'm about. So, with that in mind, tell me what's wrong."

"As you've pointed out before, I seemingly have a thing for strong people who look out for me," Shin said. "But I've also got a strong sense of what feels right and what feels wrong. I've realised that what I feel for Gohan feels right, but is ultimately very much wrong, whereas what I feel for you seems wrong, but is actually right. If that makes sense?"

"Mortals are off-limits, but I'm not, as you said. Except Gohan, shining example of goodness and kindness, is obviously way better than naughty and improper me, right?"

"I'm glad you get it."

"I mean, it if were me, I'd just take whatever I wanted from the mortal, but I know you're weird."

Shin hummed. "It's different I think, because you were once a mortal. Has Whis ever shown interest in a mortal?"

"No. But then, Whis is on another level to us in this whole hierarchy. And also…" He paused, realising Shin must not know about angel bodies at all, and why would he? "Look, it'd never happen, trust me."

"I can't give Gohan what he would want from a relationship. And besides, he has a wife and child now, so it's all just a fantasy I can't seem to forget."

Beerus let his tail curl around Shin, but didn't pull him closer. "Say, if you don't like contact, what would your relationship even look like? Just you staring at him from afar?"

"A relationship doesn't have to have a physical element. I imagined I would keep him on my planet, we would train him, I would teach him more about the universe, and we'd simply enjoy each other's company."

"Doesn't sound like a life many would be able to stand, especially not a mortal who's grown up around Goku."

"I know. I realised, but…" Shin sighed. "I'd never come across such a wonderful mortal before."

"That's because you don't get out enough. I've met loads of good mortals."

"Really?" Shin's tone wasn't very convinced.

"Oh yeah. Sometimes when Whis and I go to planets to try the food, we pretend to be normal people if it's a place where we won't stand out as obviously foreign."

"Must be hard for you."

Beerus smirked at the cheek of that comment. "It is when we meet scumbags, but sometimes we come across genuinely good mortals who are just trying to make an honest living and provide excellent food. Some of them have made the difference between having their planet destroyed or not - of course, this was back when destroying an inhabited planet wasn't a problem."

"I'm working on it," Shin said. "But I can't suddenly create a whole load more at once or it'll upset the balance."

"It wasn't meant to be a dig."

Shin let out a small 'oh' and moved a bit closer, so their hips were just touching.

This move pleased Beerus. "I'm not very good with contact either, unless it's family or close friends. It's just how my species is."

"So, you consider me a close friend?" Shin asked.

"I guess? Uh… You kind of transcend the bonds I mentioned, because whether I like you or not, I'm stuck with you. But I do like you," Beerus added quickly before Shin could speak. "I think if we were close friends, it'd be more obvious, and it'd go both ways. I mean, I've noticed you're a lot better around me these days, but I still saw that look when I said Whis wasn't going to be here today."

"Well, you're just…volatile is all. He's here to keep you in-line, right?"

"Are you suggesting I need to be watched all the time?"

"No… Sometimes."

Beerus laughed. "You're right. Sometimes. I know, you're thinking I couldn't even go to a little Earth party without Whis intervening for me. But I'm at home here, no one to bother me, except the only person who can't bother me."

"I'm not sure about that. I think I can. I certainly have."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to destroy my own planet, and I'm not going to hurt you. Intentionally." Beerus hummed. "Or would you like to try again?"

"I think the most annoying I can be is simply to ignore you, but that doesn't seem like it'll make the day fun."

"What would make it fun for you?"

Shin looked around. "What is this place? Is it just a lookout?"

Beerus shook his head. "I specifically picked this spot. I would ask you to guess why, but seeing as it's not night, you'll be hard-pressed to figure it out."

"The stars look good from here?" Shin guessed.

"You could say that." Beerus pointed straight ahead of them, but only the peachy colour of the atmosphere could be seen. "From this position you can see the star of my home solar system straight ahead."

"Do you miss home?"

"Gods no," Beerus said. "But I still like to remember where I came from, and my mother who cared for us dearly until she couldn't anymore. Also, I like to lord it over Champa that our home solar system is in my universe."

"Oh? How did you decide on that?"

"It was very easy," Beerus said. "Champa was so excited about the prospect of visiting another universe that he simply jumped at the opportunity to be the destroyer of a different universe. I, as the slightly older, more mature brother, said no problem."

"Really?" Shin wasn't suspicious until the last part.

"Well, we might have fought over it. He might have cried. I might have given in. Who really remembers these things?"

"Does he ever come to visit? Your home planet, I mean."

"Can't visit a planet that no longer exists."

Shin's eyes widened at that revelation. He was aware that the twin destroyers were the last of their species, and that made sense after so many millions of years, but he'd always imagined that the planet was still there, just radically different.

"Did you destroy it?" After all, there were other possibilities like natural disasters, people like Buu…

"I did," Beerus said proudly. "It was among the first planets I nominated. Heck, I would have destroyed it sooner, but Whis was a lot stricter when I was still learning and made sure I went through proper procedures. Luckily my first kai was just enough of a walk-over to allow it."

"What were your previous kais like?" Shin asked. "Did you have a favourite?"

"Oh yes," Beerus said without hesitation. "She was great, and I thought we'd be good friends. I even…" Beerus wondered if he should admit it, because only Whis and the Oracle Fish knew about it. "I thought I was in love with her at one point. We used to go around the universe together having fun, but then, well, she got what she wanted out of me and then became a boring Supreme Kai."

"Someone used you?" Shin was shocked.

"First and last time that happened."

"What did she want?" his voice laced with curiosity.

"She was the new North Supreme Kai at the time, and all she wanted was to know all about me and my work. After she had enough information things fizzled out, and from then on she had such an excellent handle on me. The other kais would always ask her to deal with me if needed. And it worked."

Shin thought this explained a lot about how Beerus acted towards him and his late colleagues. "Aren't you worried about telling me so much about you right now?"

"I'm older, wiser, and not intimidated by you. You just don't have the same physical presence she had. She was about the same height as me and was almost the same shade of blue as Whis, so she had that on her side. But, maybe you'd like to try and surprise me in the future by being a bit more assertive?"

Shin couldn't imagine it working for him. "I'll apologise in advance for disappointing you on that front. Do you have any more stories about kais from the past?"

Beerus hummed. "Once I had a Grand Supreme Kai who was all about being one with nature. Wackiest kai I think I've ever had. Used to find them soaking in lakes, sleeping on mountains, and just lying there naked soaking up the light. I don't know what a kai looks like under their clothes by choice, rather because I was subjected to the sight too many times by one particular kai. In the end I got fed up seeing that skinny ass that I'd find a different kai to go fetch them and make sure they were clothed by the time they reached me."

"Oh? So they weren't all following the Grand Supreme Kai's nature-led teachings?"

Beerus choked on air. "Nature-led teachings? I think it was more like they just had an aversion to clothes. I think the other four just got used to it. After all, you guys seem to be a bit, uh, prudish when it comes to that sort of thing."

"Sorry, your use of 'they' made me think you were dealing with several naked kais at a time."

"No, just the one." Beerus stopped looking at the sky to look at Shin instead. "Why do kais use gendered language to refer to themselves? I've met, well, I guess I have met more kais than you, and of those however many, only a handful have chosen to refer to themselves without gendered language."

"Did you never ask any of the others?"

"Oh, I did," Beerus said. "I just wanted to hear your opinion too. Not everyone agreed on the reason."

"For me, personally, it's simply because those who cared for me growing up used gendered language around me. So, I have always been 'he.' I've never thought about changing it, but maybe that's because I never knew anyone like that. What other reasons have you heard?"

"One kai said they started assigning themselves genders to be more in-touch with the majority of mortals they'd created. Another told me they appeared to mortals, and the mortals assigned a gender to them, and it felt like an honour, so other kais started to copy them. Apparently there was a time when kais would go to mortal worlds just to receive their perceived gender. I think that died out in favour of kais just assigning new kais based on what they'd learned from mortals, which would kind of make the first thing I said true."

"That's really interesting. I've never really thought about it, because as a god, it doesn't seem important. Being the Supreme Kai isn't about who I am, but rather what I do."

"It's still good to have an individual sense of identity."

Shin shrugged. "Maybe for you. When it comes to kais, I don't think that matters so much. We all want to be the same sort of god, and we pick up the work of our predecessors as if it's our own. Being too individualistic isn't seen as a good thing."

"Forgot kais are weird. Should have remembered. You grow off trees after all."

"It seems like you've neglected to ask someone else close to you about his own lack of gender."

Beerus spent a moment figuring out who Shin meant. "Oh, you haven't heard about the angels' genders? They're officially told by Grand Zeno himself what they are."

Shin's brows knitted as his face begged for Beerus to explain.

"The story goes – and I don't like to say it's accurate, it's just what I've heard over the years – that Grand Zeno decided he was a boy one day, and everyone close to him should also choose a gender. Except, of course, they weren't allowed to choose the wrong one. Grand Zeno told them what they were to be referred to as from then on, and so Whis is a man in Grand Zeno's eyes. Hm, maybe this is why Supreme Kais actually use gendered language. I never made the connection…"

"We're often forgotten by the higher-ups. After all, Grand Zeno has an angel of his own to remind him they exist."

"And you should pray to stay forgotten. The less you see him, the easier your life – and mine – will be."

"I'm certainly not complaining. It really is no good for my heart to be called upon to visit."

Beerus took Shin's hand. "Those are the times I've wanted to grab you and hold on for dear life, except, of course, even if I was holding onto you, neither of us would be able to escape being killed by him."

Shin laughed nervously. "Yes… Maybe we should go back to a lighter topic?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Um, well… I suppose I would like to get one last thing out of the way while we're here." For once Beerus didn't butt in, instead waiting patiently for Shin to figure out his phrasing. "That kiss…"

"What about it? Did you want another one?" Beerus asked as if it wasn't a big deal.

"O-oh, so you did like it?"

"I – I didn't say that!"

Shin was too busy being flustered himself to fully appreciate that Beerus wasn't playing it as cool as usual. "But you'd kiss me again if I asked?"

"Don't see why not. We already did it once, so what's another?"

"Did you think about it?" Shin asked. "After last time."

"Maybe. A little," Beerus admitted. "I mean, it's not like I've kissed any of my kais before, at least not like that."

"Like that?"

"That kai I used to like - she was called Enlil - I used to kiss her cheek sometimes as a greeting or farewell. But not…properly like we did."

Shin was flushing harder now, thinking that maybe they'd skipped a whole step somewhere. "So, what did you think about it?"

"Why are you asking me all this? Why don't you tell me what you thought?"

"I asked you first!" Shin said.

Beerus folded his arms and huffed, turning away from Shin, but still keeping his tail wrapped around the kai. "I thought it was kinda hot the way you pulled me in for a second one, alright? There, I said it. Now you better tell me your side."

"Oh, well, I, um, I was hoping we could finally get to the one where we embrace while we kiss."

Beerus grinned as he drew Shin into his arms. He wasn't good at talking about his feelings, but he sure knew how to act on them. "Like this?" He waited for Shin to nod before running a finger up the small bit of exposed neck so he could tilt Shin's chin before going in for the kiss.

It was slow and unhurried, and Shin wondered if it was wrong for him to enjoy this so much. Was it the novelty of discovering a new sensation? Or was kissing really as good as mortals made it out to be? Would he enjoy this as much if it was someone else? That was a curious thing, wasn't it? It wasn't so long ago that being in such close proximity with Beerus would have had his heart beating fast with fear, but now it was completely different. Could he ever reach this level of peace in someone else's arms?

Shin smiled as they broke apart. Rather, he thought he'd fear for anyone else who tried to hold him close in case Beerus should see and be jealous.

"What are you smiling about?" Beerus asked. "I'm really just such a talented kisser, aren't I?"

Of course Shin had no idea what constituted a talented kisser, but he supposed if Beerus was a terrible kisser he would have noticed. "Would you be jealous if I kissed someone else?"

Beerus cocked a brow. "Are you really going to kiss a bunch of people to find out if I'm as good as I claim?"

Shin realised they'd been thinking about different things. "No, I meant… If you saw me like this with someone else, would you mind?"

"No? If that's what you want, you go for it. Although, I must say, I didn't think a few kisses would turn you into such a thirsty kai."

Now Shin was turning back into the blushing mess Beerus wanted. "That's not! I – I wasn't implying I was…"

"Go on, Shin, you can tell me," Beerus crooned. "Who else do you want to kiss?"

"N-no one!"

Beerus was smirking now. "Gohan aside, obviously, mortals are off-limits after all. Hmm, maybe… Well, Whis is such a beautiful creature, isn't he? I think I could let you have one kiss, just to know."

"No! I don't want to kiss Whis!"

"Are you saying he isn't the most amazing person you've ever seen? Or maybe the second, seeing as I think you'll say I'm number one."

Shin was shaking his head. "Whis is great, but I don't want to kiss him is all."

"Who else?" Beerus mused. "Oh. Maybe you have the hots for one of the other kais? And your type is strong and powerful… Universe 1 is always a good go-to for that sort of thing, so, Anat perhaps?"

"No!" Shin cupped Beerus's face and kissed him again, just to shut him up for a moment. "Just you."

"I'm honoured. But wait, were you actually asking because you would be jealous if you saw me kissing someone else and wanted to know if I felt the same way?"

Shin wasn't quite sure if that's how he felt. "I already know you kiss other people, so no."

"Yeah, but I haven't kissed anyone else recently, and not in front of you. Maybe you'd feel different if you saw it."

Shin removed himself from Beerus's lap. "Lord Beerus, what is this? You sound like this is more than just a few kisses."

"Eh, I don't know. You started it by asking if I'd be jealous." He hummed and stroked his chin. "I know how I'd like it to go."

"Oh? How?"

"You really want to know? What if you don't like it?"

Shin shrugged. "You usually get what you want. Either you tell me, or I find out later on when it goes exactly as you've planned, maybe with a bit of help from Whis."

Beerus laughed. "How true. It's not always that simple though. You see, I'd like for us to flirt a little like this, have a bit of fun, get to know each other a bit better. I should at least know something as simple as your favourite type of tea, right?" He put a finger to Shin's lips. "Don't tell me now, I want you to serve it to me, and I promise I'll pretend to appreciate it. But in the end I don't want to get too attached and for this to drag on, so hopefully it'll all climax in either a fight and you'll hate me again, or we'll fuck and just get it out of our systems. Or at least, I think that's how it'll go for me."

Shin had been nodding along with the suggestions until the last part, at which point his brain seemed to have stopped functioning properly.

"Well, what do you think?" Beerus asked, fully aware he'd just short-circuited his kai.

"F-first of all, I never hated you, that's bit strong. And secondly, yes, I think a fight would be an appropriate end."

"Not a fight in a bed?"

"If you take me anywhere near a bed, I think that's a quick way to get to the fight."

Beerus pulled him close again. "Shall we then? We could end it all today before I develop some feelings."

"Why are you eager for it to be over so soon?" Shin asked. "Could it be you really are enjoying this a little too much?"

"I think I am. It's really hard to find someone like you after all. Mortals only know fear and respect."

"Except Goku."

Beerus nodded. "Except Goku, who has the romantic potential of an ant. He doesn't want me to protect him like you do. Hell, even if we were life-linked, I don't think Goku would give two shits about trying to protect the other. He'd still be a selfish bastard, almost getting killed by something every year. But I digress. Mortals can't match me because they are simply not worthy in many respects. On the other end of the spectrum there is Whis, who takes care of me more than I can take care of him. But you? I can take care of you. And that pleases me."

"I always thought I was a bother like that."

"Oh, you have been." Beerus sighed. "Buu the first time, Buu the second time, that time you went to that alternate timeline without consulting me even though I was the one who was involved first… But now we're on better terms, I hope you'd talk to me first before you go off alone." Beerus paused. "That's the bit where you say 'oh yes, Beerus, of course I would!'"

Shin nodded. "Of course, Lord Beerus."

"I hope you mean that. Because I do want to go out there and flex as I protect you. Did you know, I've even told Whis he can wake me up if you're in trouble?"

"I'm flattered."

"But I'm concerned that I'm going to end up liking you a lot more than I think I do. Man, when I thought I was in love with Enlil…urgh. It was disgusting. I had…feelings."

Shin couldn't help laughing a little. "Having some feelings isn't a bad thing. I think you should embrace them more often."

"I'm too old for this sort of thing."

"But they feel nice." Shin put his hand on his chest. "They make you feel warm inside, and so incredibly happy for seemingly no reason at times. Although I've been a bit apprehensive about being alone with you sometimes, I've often been glad about it. Maybe because I could just be myself without others watching, or maybe it's just because I enjoy your company. You are different when we're alone."

"You mean those times we've gone to other planets and I definitely needed to stay in your good books to make sure I got a ride home?"

Shin pouted. "Stop trying to frame it differently. You know, I'd say you're even nicer when we're on our home planets alone."

"Really?"

"Well. Sort of. You are right now."

Beerus gave Shin a gentle shove. "I don't like being called nice. It ruins my image."

"I won't tell anyone else. They wouldn't believe me anyway."

"And they shouldn't, because I'd never let them see it." Beerus stood up and offered a hand to Shin. "Let's head back."

"What else did you have planned for today?"

"It's time to eat," Beerus sniggered, "you out."

Shin looked confused.

"Oh, come on!" Beerus cried. "You're telling me you don't know what that means?"

"I know what it is to eat someone out of house and home, but we're on your planet."

Beerus face palmed. "So innocent." He made a V with his fingers and licked the space between them. "Understand that?"

"A vulgar gesture. The precise meaning…" Shin trailed off. "On the Sacred World we don't spend our time learning about such language and gestures because they should not be used by us or against us."

Beerus made a scissoring motion with his fingers. "These are legs." He made the V again. "They're open. And you lick right here." His tongue touched the skin between his fingers. "Do you get it now?"

"And that's 'eating someone out'?" Shin clarified.

"Yeah. For people that don't have an appendage to suck. Wouldn't want you to get it wrong." Beerus chuckled, knowing Shin would probably never use this phrase in his life.

"Wait." Shin replaying the conversation, beginning to panic. "We're not doing that now!"

"We're not?"

"I will leave."

Beerus stared at him for a moment. "Relax, I was kidding. I was only trying to fluster you, but instead I had to explain the whole thing to you… We are going to eat though, but actual food. Goku's a farmer, you see, and gets a lot of fresh produce, so I had him get me a bunch of fruits which I had Whis preserve just for today. Fruit's your favourite, right?"

"Yes, manfruit being my favourite, of course."

Beerus grimaced. "You're disgusting."

"Actually, I'm more partial to peaches, but eating manfruit in front of you and the saiyans was incredibly satisfying and made it taste better than it was."

"Well, I've got pretty much every Earth fruit you could want to try. We probably won't even be able to eat them all."

ooo

Whis found the pair sleeping on the sofa, Shin's head resting against Beerus's shoulder, while Beerus had his head thrown back in a position which was going to give him neck ache when he woke. He gently placed a hand on Beerus's shoulder.

"My lord?" he whispered.

"Five more minutes…" Beerus tried to turn away unsuccessfully, only succeeding in dislodging Shin from his position.

Whis thought the kai looked extremely adorable as he rubbed his eyes, realising he'd fallen asleep. A shame Beerus was missing this.

"Whis?" Shin asked, then realised he was still at Beerus's. "Oh my, I fell asleep?"

Whis smiled and pointed to a forgotten piece of fruit. "It would seem Lord Beerus forgot about our recent trip to Planet Peels. That fruit induces sleep, but looks deceptively like an Earth orange."

Beerus groaned. "Shh, Whis, I'm trying to sleep…"

"Dinner, my lord, just as you ordered." Whis brought a bag out and took a box out of it, removing the lid and wafting it under Beerus's nose.

"Mmmmm~" Beerus's eyes flew open and he grabbed the box from Whis. "I'm calling dibs on this." He noticed Shin next to him. "Wait. What? We fell asleep?"

Whis pointed to the fruit and Beerus frowned. "Whis! Why did you leave that next to the Earth fruits?"

"I'm pretty sure I didn't."

Beerus huffed. "Now I've wasted my day with my Supreme Kai."

Whis handed Beerus a pair of chopsticks and began to unpack the rest of the food he'd brought back. "You'll just have to invite him over again, won't you?"

"Yeah, come over again so we can try the fruits we didn't get to," Beerus said. "Don't worry, I can get rid of Whis again."

"I don't think that's necessary," Shin said.

"Just in case."

Shin knew Beerus was teasing, but it was hard to play it cool when he knew the next thing Beerus might say could be much more embarrassing.

"Tease too much, my lord, and maybe he won't accept your invitation next time."

"Here's me being serious, and you two are… Whatever, pass me one of those buns." He gave it a small squeeze to see how soft it was before biting into it.