The longest chapter I have ever written. Enjoy!
Chapter 8: Hospital
Bella POV:
Everything hurt. My head hurt. My arm hurt. Everything. Hurt. I heard someone whispering. Hello? What were they saying? I couldn't comprehend anything. Wait, where am I? I tried to open my eyes. It didn't work. Please, talk to me. Where am I? I tried to listen to the voices around me.
´Four of her ribs are fractured, Mr Swan, and she has a skull fracture.´
´Then why isn't she waking up?´
I know that voice. It felt familiar. I immediately felt safe. Please continue talking! Please.
´She hit her head pretty badly. But the CT scan is showing us her brain activity works as it should. So she should wake up any time now.´
´Oh, thank god.´
Were they talking about me? I´m fine, I wanted to say. Don´t worry about me. I tried to open my mouth but instead, I drifted away in my unconsciousness.
I couldn't move anything. I couldn't move my head. I couldn't move my eyelids. I couldn't speak. I couldn't see. Everything was black. And everything hurts. I heard something. I couldn't hear it through the mist in my head. I tried to reach consciousness. It worked. Suddenly, I heard voices. Familiar voices.
´I won´t leave her alone.´
I know that voice! It's the same voice! The voice that soothed me. I tried to wake up. I wanted to comfort that voice. Please don´t be sad. I´m fine.
´Charlie, you need to sleep.´
Charlie? Why did that name sound so familiar? Did I know someone named Charlie? I couldn´t remember. Charlie… The name did sound so appealing. I knew I knew someone named Charlie, but whom?
´I don't want to leave her alone, Billy.´
Billy? Who was that?
´Don't beat yourself up. I can stay here for a few hours. You take a shower and put on some clean clothes. I´ll call you if anything changes.´
I didn't hear a response. Everything went dark again.
I could see a little bit of light. Finally! I didn't know how long I was out for, but I could see a little bit. Someone was standing next to me. I didn't know who it was.
´Bella, I´m so sorry my son put you into this mess.´
Son? What was he talking about?
´He should have never promised you to ride a motorcycle. What was he thinking? Jacob can be so reckless!´
Motorcycle? Jacob? What happened?
I drifted away again.
I felt… wetness? Wetness on my hand. What was that? I heard sobs. Who was crying?
´Bella, I'm so sorry. Please wake up, I´m begging you.´ I knew that voice. It was Jacob. I knew it for sure. Jacob was sitting next to me, crying. Why was he crying? What happened?
Don't be sad, Jacob. I will be fine. I've wanted to say that but I couldn´t.
I heard a door opening. Someone was coming in.
´What are you doing here?´ It was that voice again! That familiar voice. It belonged to… Charlie? Oh, Charlie! That's my father! My father Carlie. I remembered! I tried to smile. I couldn´t.
´Sir, I´m so sorry. I needed to see how she is doing,´ I heard Jacob say.
´Look, son, the accident wasn't your fault so don't blame yourself for it. But I'm still pissed at you for trying to teach Bella how to ride a motorcycle. What were you thinking?´ He snapped.
Trying to ride a motorcycle? Oh no, everything came back to me in a blur. We haven't even ridden the motorcycle. We were in a car crash. Jacob was sitting next to me. He was also in the crash. Is he alright?
´Charlie will return from the toilet soon. We only have two minutes.´ I heard an angelic voice. I knew that voice, even though I hadn't heard it in six months. Was that Alice? It couldn´t be? The Cullens? They weren't even in Forks. They left. They left me. I needed to wake up!
I felt something cold. Something cold was stroking my hand. Taking it. Taking it into his own cold hands. I recognised his touch. Edward was here. I was dreaming. This wasn't real. Clearly, this was the result of my head trauma.
The CT scan is showing us her brain activity works as it should.
Clearly not.
´Please come back to me, Bella. I´m sorry. I regret everything. Please wake up. I'm begging you. I love you...´
I´m trying to wake up! Can't you see I'm trying my best? My body didn't help me and I fell asleep again.
Female voices. Loud female voices. Way too loud female voices.
´O my God, Bella. Please wake up!´ I heard someone shouting.
´Calm down, Jessica. You heard the doctor, she is going to wake up anytime soon.´
´Then why isn't she already?´
Crying. Please stop crying. I am fine.
I woke up. I was thirsty and I needed to use the toilet. I tried to open my eyes. Look at that, it worked! I looked around and saw I was laying in a hospital bed. Charlie was sitting in a chair next to my bed. He was sleeping. He looked exhausted. I wanted to reach him. His hand lay on my bed, so I lightly touched it. He immediately woke up.
´Hey,´ I said quietly.
´Oh, Bella. Thank god.´ I saw the relief in his eyes.
´Don´t worry, dad. I´m fine, I promise. It´s over.´ I tried to calm him. He looked at me quizzically.
´You had me worried there.´
I tried to keep the mood light.
´I can tell, your hair is even grayer than before.´
He smiled at me and I smiled back.
´I´m so happy you´re awake.´
At that moment, the doctor came and examined me. He told me what I had already heard and asked me if I wanted to drink something. I wholeheartedly agreed to a lovely bottle of water. After he left, I asked my dad for details regarding the accident.
´It was horrible. Jacob told us another car came from out of nowhere. He hit your side of the car, so you're in a much worse condition than Jacob. He is fine by the way. Just a little shaken up, but fine. Until I heard you were going to ride on motorcycles! I was so angry at him. And at you, young lady. What were you thinking Bella? Those are the most reckless vehicles that are out there! How could you?´
I flinched at those words.
´Please don't be mad at Jake, dad. I've wanted to ride them. And he only agreed because I really wanted to. It's not his fault. Put your anger on me, please.´
´As happy as I am that you´re with me again, you´re still grounded.´ He said with authority.
I guess some things never change.
After I assured Charlie I was fine, he went to work. I needed to stay in the hospital one more day, but I was completely fine and he didn't have to guide me all the time. Not much after he left, Jacob came. He stood at the door, a little bit timid. I needed to soothe him, I guess.
´Hey Jake, are you coming in or what?´
´Do you want me to?´ He asked. No joke this time, but a real concerned question.
´Depends, did you bring me anything?´ I tried to lighten the mood.
´As a matter of fact, I did.´ I was a little taken aback by that answer. He eventually slowly got inside my room. He sat in the chair next to me before he gave me a little present.
´Since you´re grounded for the rest of your life and Charlie will kill me if I put you on a motorcycle… I might as well give you this.´ I looked at my present and saw it was a miniature motorcycle. I smiled at him.
´Thank you. It´s perfect.´
´Are you mad at me?´ He asked. I saw he was blaming himself.
´I have no reason to be. It was not your fault. Don't ever think that. It pains me to see you like this.´
As if he understood it, he also tried to make the conversation as light as possible. Just as we always talked with each other.
´Pains you to see me like this? You mean, as dashing as ever, right?´
´So hot, I might lose my consciousness. Again.´ I rolled my eyes at him.
´I see even a fractured skull doesn´t take away your big mouth.´
´Speaking of big mouths, who came to see me? If I remember correctly, Jessica and Angela came, right?´
I didn't ask directly about the Cullens. I was sure I was imagining their visit, but I still needed to ask. Just to be sure. And I knew I couldn't ask Charlie about it. So I jumped at this opportunity.
´Well, your dad almost never left your side, as expected. And you´re right, Jessica and Angela indeed came. Jessica was especially devastated, we tried to calm her since she was yelling a lot. And my dad and I did visit you regularly. Why?´
´I was just wondering...´
´See, you´re quite popular,´ he joked.
´And all it took was a tiny little accident. A small price to pay,´ I continued.
His big brown eyes looked at me with a troubled look on his face. ´But in all seriousness, Bells. How are you?´
I thought about it for a minute. ´Can you believe me if I tell you that I´m fine? I have some bruises and I´m obviously hurt, but it's really not that much. How are you holding up?
He took a deep breath before he started talking very quickly. I was concentrating very hard to understand everything. ´It was horrible, Bella. You weren't responding to me. At all. For a second there, I really thought you died. I thought I had killed you. It was so chaotic. I tried calling 911 and the ambulance came. But before that, before the ambulance came and I knew you were alive, I was frightened. I really thought you died. And it was all my fault. I am so sorry, you have no idea how sorry I am.´
He looked so heartbroken. For the second time that day, I reached out to grab the hand of someone to soothe them. He looked at the bed, avoided looking straight at me and I whispered.
´Jake, look at me.´ He looked up. ´This was just a stupid accident. Don't blame yourself for it. Accidents happen all the time. And you know… Some people tend to attract accidents more often than others so basically I need to apologize to you instead of the other way around.´
That seemed to calm him a bit. Just a bit.
´I´m serious. I´m sorry that you had to be in the presence of the world's greatest bad luck attracting female that walks this glorious earth. Are we even now?´
´That depends. You still up for some good old-fashioned banter every time our dads are away? We have to do it at your place, though. Your dad will not hesitate to kill me when I take you away next time.´
´Of course!´ I happily exclaimed. ´We don't want to see Charlie´s murderous side, now do we?´
´ Then yes, Bells. We´re even now.´ He smiled down at me.
Edward POV:
Upon arriving at the hospital in Forks, I quickly read the minds of every doctor and nurse, to see where my precious Bella would be. Alice and I stayed hidden on the rooftop since we didn't want to be seen by Bella´s friends or family members and no one would come up there anyways. I quickly overheard the doctor, telling Charlie about Bella's fractured ribs and a fractured skull. She was still unconscious. To my surprise, this wasn´t the extent Alice told me her injuries would be. I was tremendously happy about that, but I still didn't quite understand what Alice must have seen in New York.
I glanced over to her, standing next to me. She smirked. Wait a minute, she smirked?
´Why are you looking at me like that?´ I simply asked her.
´Please don't be mad at me, Edward. I knew she would be fine, but you needed an extra push to get to her. I´m sorry. I know I´ve said I wouldn´t interfere but I could not bear to see you like that any longer.´
So my little sister planned all of this? I should have known! But I also knew I could never be mad at her.
´Then why isn't she waking up?´ Charlie asked.
´But the CT scan is showing us her brain activity works as it should. So she should wake up any time now.´
I felt relieved. She would be fine. Everything could go back to normal. It was over. I had to resist the urge to simply run over toward her and hold her, but Charlie was still there and I didn't want to make myself known immediately.
Next to me, I could feel Alice getting tenser and tenser. I knew she also wanted to see Bella. We simply couldn't wait anymore. We were thrilled.
Charlie was still sitting next to Bella when his best friend Billy came to him. He told him he needed to take a shower, and that Billy would stay in the meanwhile. I sighted. We still couldn't go to her. After the longest six months of my life, these last couple of minutes before I could go to Bella were horrible. Then, Billy said something to alarm me.
´Bella, I´m so sorry my son put you into this mess.´
Wait a minute. What had happened? What had happened to Bella? What did Jacob, Billy´s son do? By dating Bella and getting into the minds of Charlie and Billie, I got to know his youngest son Jacob a little bit. I even had the pleasure of seeing him once or twice. He wasn't naturally fond of me but he seemed like a great kid with a good head on his sleeve. What did he do to her? Did he hurt her? Was he the reason she's in the hospital right now?
Alice put her hands on my wrists. I hadn't realised I was flexing and unflexing both of my hands. She must have seen me getting agitated. I took a deep breath and it made me as calm as I could be right now.
´He should have never promised you to ride a motorcycle. What was he thinking? Jacob can be so reckless!´
Bella wanted to ride a motorcycle? This was almost funny to me. Since when was she into these kinds of things? Sadness came over me, I hadn't been there for her for six months… Of course, she had changed. That was normal. This just seemed so out of the ordinary for her.
I heard a third voice. A younger voice this time. Would this be Jacob? So he was here with her.
´Bella, I'm so sorry. Please wake up, I´m begging you.´
I heard him crying. His thoughts were nothing but self-blame for the accident. Apparently, he was driving and they got hit by another car. I was furious. I wish I could be furious with this Jacob, but the rational part of my brain knew that it was not his fault. Still, I was furious. Bella got hit by a car! Charlie quickly joined him and his dad again.
´What were you thinking?´
I asked myself that very same question.
Jacob and his father eventually left the hospital. They were going to change clothes and freshen up. As a miracle, Charlie left for a toilet break. Meaning Bella was alone. Meaning we could quickly go to her. We rushed downstairs at our human pace, but we were impatient. If only we could run at our vampire speed, but the risks were simply too high. we arrived at her room and quickly got inside.
There she was. My world. My everything. It was as time stood still. I was mesmerized. It was heaven and hell, all at the same time.
Heaven for seeing her again. Hearing her rhythmic breathing. The soft beating of her heartbeat. I longed to touch her. I needed to feel her warmth again.
Hell for seeing how beaten up she looked. She looked so restless. So tired. If I could comfort her in any way, I would instantly do it in a heartbeat.
´Charlie will return from the toilet soon. We only have two minutes,´ Alice said as if she could see I could stand here for decades. No, centuries. But of course, she could see that. I snapped out of my mesmerized state and walked over to Bella. I put her delicate hand between my two hands. Her warmth radiated on my skin, sending shivers down my spine if it could.
´Please come back to me, Bella. I´m sorry. I regret everything. Please wake up. I'm begging you. I love you...´ I quietly said to her. At the same time I spoke my plea, I heard Charlie´s thoughts. He was coming. Alice pushed me out of Bella´s room so we could walk back to the rooftop at human speed, without Charlie seeing us. If Alice had not pushed me, I stayed right next to Bella's side. I didn't care. I would come up with an excuse of some sort, but I would have stayed there.
The news of Bella´s accident must have reached high school. Jessica and Angela showed up, crying. I was a little bit confused when I heard their thoughts. I quickly realised Bella must have bonded with them over the last couple of months. That certainly was a change.
Alice and I tried to hear anything the doctors might discuss regarding Bella´s health. I also excessed Charlie´s thoughts, but he was sound asleep. Suddenly, he was woken up by something. In his mind, I saw Bella grabbing his hand. She was awake! Alice must have seen the change in my face. She looked at me quizzically and I simply nodded. Of course, she must have already seen it happening, but it was still amazing news.
´That's wonderful. I can´t wait to see her!´ She said very quickly, only for my ears to hear. And I couldn't agree more, this news was wonderful.
We could now both hear Bella. She tried to calm her dad. She even cracked a little joke, saying her dad´s hair had now become grayer over this stressful event. Oh Bella, always trying to cheer everyone up.
I looked over at Alice. She was obviously thinking the same thing as we smiled at each other. It was over. Bella was fine again. Thank every God that is out there for that.
But then, we heard Charlie talk about the accident. Both our faces dropped. We both heard the hurt in his voice, it was heartbreaking.
Of course, Bella tried to put all the blame on herself. She was just so absolutely and utterly… good. Oh, Bella…
Charlie left, and both Alice and I wanted to go downstairs to talk to Bella. We were discussing who could go in first since we didn't want to scare her off. And, to see if she even wanted to talk to us. Chances were very high she wanted absolutely nothing to do with us anymore, and we would respect her decision either way. One could only hope at this point.
But before we could walk downstairs towards Bella, I heard the young man's thoughts again whom I assumed was Jacob´s. He was hesitant to enter her room.
Bella immediately welcomed him. That stung a bit. What was her relationship with this boy? He was obviously distressed about her injuries, but I assumed that was because he felt guilty. No, that´s not what I assumed, that's what I hoped. Both these thoughts were unfair to either Jacob and Bella. Who was I to judge their relationship?
I saw he gave her a little motorcycle, as comedic relief to the whole situation. Bella gave him a warm smile, she was obviously very pleased by it. Jealousy showed herself, again. I've wanted to make her smile. I´ve wanted to sit next to her. I've wanted to shower her with gifts. Me. Me. Me.
Stop it! Contain yourself! You have ZERO right to be thinking these things. YOU left HER, I thought to myself.
Alice placed her small hand over my shoulder; ´Everything will be alright, trust me.´
I contained myself again and listened to their conversation.
They were joking around. Both playfully complementing each other. And for the first time since I've noticed, I could read minds, I felt I was invading a private conversation. That this wasn't meant for my ears to hear.
This was my own fault. She had moved on, just as I wanted for her. A normal life. A safe life. She finally got it.
Bella POV:
That night, I dreamt of Edward. It wasn't a particularly fun dream or anything, but thinking I heard him and his sister today… It made my subconsciousness do weird things to my brain.
It started six months ago. I dreamt I had never cut myself into that stupid paper. That we drove to my house, happily discussing what had happened and how over the top Alice had planned the whole thing. That he had kissed me. That he would have stayed over, while we were happily snuggling next to each other. Maybe if he had left under different circumstances, maybe everything would have been different.
Then, I dreamt about the life I'm living right now. Without Edward. I was coping without him. I missed him, but I managed to collect some great people around me. People who I never got so close with, if it weren't for Edward. Even in his abstinence, he still managed to do good things for me. Bastard.
I entered an all too familiar state of being awake and dreaming at the same time. I hummed his name, and I wasn't even aware of it.
´Edward...´
As if I had called him out, I felt something cold against my cheek. Stupid hospital air conditioning. I didn´t wave the coldness away, for it felt strangely familiar. Just my luck, thinking about Edward and suddenly I feel something cold against my cheek. Maybe I should call the doctor again, he clearly did not see some kind of damage I must have on my brains on the CT scans. If I could just linger this feeling. Just a little bit longer.
It did not feel like a dream anymore. It felt real. It could not be real. I did not dare to open my eyes, so instead, I waved a little bit. If the coldness left my cheek, I knew it was… something. Anything at all. Just not Edward. If the coldness stayed on my cheek, I would dare to look up. Much to my surprise, the coldness stayed.
Huh?
I could have sworn I heard some kind of happy chuckle. A chuckle that I could still remember till the day I die. This was crazy. I was crazy. I was really going crazy this time. Let's end this madness once and for all. I forced myself to open my eyes, expecting to see nothing but darkness. What I did not expect to see was Edward standing right next to my bed. Edward? It couldn´t be! I was mad. I was a madwoman. This is brain damage at its finest. There was something wrong with me. What kind of brain damage leaves hallucinations of your ex-boyfriend? This was some form of accident induced schizophrenia or something like that.
´Huh?´ I said. I closed my eyes again. Stop this nonsense.
Brain, from now on, you'll be working again!
I opened my eyes again. There he was. Edward. He was still there. But how? Why? Huh?
´Hello Bella,´ he said.