Hey y'all! Sorry it's been such a crazily long time since I updated! Life's been crazy! But, here's the next chapter! This prompt was sent to me by a lovely fellow author. Thanks to AspiringAuthor29 for the amazing prompt idea:
"I imagine this taking place right as Jack and Mac start to like each other, but they don't quite have the brotherly bond yet. Jack and some of the other senior soldiers drink one night and Jack gets especially drunk. Mac isn't old enough to drink yet, so he walks in on all of them and Jack says something that sends Mac into a flashback of some things his father did and makes him believe Jack hates him. Jack doesn't remember a thing the next day and doesn't understand. Of course he finds out with some nice angst and groveling thrown in there."
I can't wait to hear what y'all think! For those of you who are wondering, yes, I will be writing a second chapter of the Fears and Doubts chapter, however I would like to publish this one first because I saw the and literally got chills of excitement. Enjoy!
Jack grinned as he watched his fellow soldiers tip back their beers and celebrate a day well fought. There had been no casualties today and the EOD teams had diffused a couple hundred different roadsides and IED's. It had been a good day for everyone and they all deserved a small celebration. He noticed vaguely that the hamburger kid didn't have a drink in his head but he attested it to the thought that the fact that he couldn't possibly be drinking age. He didn't give it another thought as he tipped his drink back and celebrated with the guys. Mac would probably join in soon, even he could catch the fever of celebration.
Mac could usually control his nervousness around alcohol. Guys having a drink or two didn't really bother him. It was when the others got about four drinks in that he started fidgeting. They all started laughing and cursing up a storm. He knew he should leave, but he was starting to like Jack and didn't want to let him walk back to the barracks alone drunk. So, he stayed. He flinched as a particularly drunk soldier smacked his shoulder. The gesture should have been playful, and was probably intended that way, but for Mac it merely brought on a few unwanted memories that he usually kept tamped down very well. He rolled his shoulders, sighing deeply to try and relieve his stress. It usually worked for him, but for some reason, seeing Jack like this triggered something for him that usually stayed buried. He tried to shake it off, literally, but the feeling of unease wouldn't go away. He looked away from a very inebriated Jack and stared at a lantern nearby as memories surfaced in his mind.
"People always say what they mean when they're drunk, Angus," James Macgyver smiled down at the boy, "get someone drunk and he'll spill all his dirty little secrets."
"Why, Daddy?" Young Mac questioned, watching his daddy with large adoring eyes, taking in everything he said.
"Because," James ruffled the young genius' hair, "their cognitive thinking goes away and they can't think about what they shouldn't say."
...
"Dad stop!" A slightly older, very terrified, Mac screamed as his father's empty beer bottle smashed the cabinet next to him, "please stop it!"
"You're a failure," a very inebriated James screamed back, his voice angry instead of fearful, "you killed your mother and now you're going to kill me too!"
"I didn't kill mama!" Mac screamed, tears of hurt mingling with the tears of fear running down his face, "it was the cancer that killed her! That wasn't my fault!"
"No!" James shouted, running at Mac and slamming him up against the cabinet's, his hands squeezing Mac's arms so tightly that they were sure to bruise, "you killed her! It was your fault! I was your fault that she wouldn't-"
"James," Grandpa burst inside the house, "let go of him!"
Mac was jolted out of his memory by someone calling his name. He glanced over to see one of the nearby soldiers watching him curiously.
"Ain't you gonna have a drink, Macgyver?" the man slurred, holding out a beer to the young blonde.
"Naw, I'm good," Mac replied, forcing a grin onto his face, "when morning comes I'll be the only one not hung over. We'll see who's celebrating then."
"Aw, you're no fun," the man insisted, shoving the alcohol at him, "drink up Buttercup."
"I said I'm fine," Mac shoved the beer back at the man, desperation crawling up his throat as the horrible smell reached his nose, "I said I don't want it. Drink it yourself."
"Come on-"
"Aw leave him, Jameson," Jack drawled drunkenly from nearby, "the kid's to good to drink with us."
Mac tried to protest, "that's not-"
"Yeah, sure kid," Jack waved off his protests, "whatever you say. I'm not arguing with you, you'll just tell me how much smarter you are anyways."
Hurt welled up inside Mac, "I wouldn't ever-"
"Yeah, yeah," Jack rolled his eyes, "it's your bedtime, kid. Off you go."
"No,' Mac snapped, "you've had too much to drink, you need to go to bed. You've had way to much."
"You ain't my mother, boy," Jack growled, "you can't know when I've had too much, you're not even old enough to tie your own shoes."
"Jack," one of the other soldiers frowned, something in his befuddled brain triggered by the man's words, "I don't think you should talk to him like that. He's yer partner."
"Naw, he's just a kid in over his head," Jack waved his hand, dismissing the other man's statement and further driving the man's dismissal of Mac in general even further into the blonde.
"Jack," he tried again, reaching for the half-empty beer in his hand, "you don't need any more-"
"Don't touch that," Jack slapped Mac's arm away, "that's mine."
"You don't need it," Mac tried one more time, keeping his masks of indifference carefully in place, "give it to me, Jack."
"Don't touch it," Jack snarled, his drunken mood turning ugly suddenly, "it's mine. Go away, you're annoying."
Mac tried to swallow the hurt at the clear dismissal from his partner. He'd thought Jack finally respected him, finally cared about him. Clearly he'd been wrong. Mac was just another snot-nosed kid that Jack had to keep from dying. He was just another soldier in the field that Jack had to keep safe. He was just another checkbox.
Mac stood and walked away from the small circle of soldiers, leaving them to their alcohol and poor life choices. He rubbed circles on his arm, comforting himself in a fashion that reminded him of his childhood. Sliding into his bunk, Mac burrowed into his blankets, trying to bury his frustration and hurt at Jack's actions.
He tried to force himself to believe that Jack was just another soldier. Just another over-watch. After all, they'd only just begun to barely tolerate each other. There was no way that Jack actually cared about him. They tolerated each other at best. That was it. That was all it was. Mac tried to force himself to believe it, but his emotions fought against him. He sighed into his pillow, tensing as he heard several other men stagger into the barracks. He fought back a sudden, flighty panic as he heard Jack's staggering footsteps thud inside. Jack's sudden, drunk aggression towards him had him rattled. He listened as Jack settled in and passed out in his bed. He couldn't stop his father's words from echoing in his head.
People always say what they mean when they're drunk.
***Line Break***
Jack woke up the next morning with a groan as he felt the headache set in. He forced his eyes open and instantly closed them again as light stabbed into his head. His stomach churned and he groaned. It was one of those moments when he really wished he could call in sick. He heard Mac toss around underneath him and frowned, it was clear that the kid hadn't slept. Jack had learned to tell the difference between Mac's "I'm waking up" tossing and his "I didn't sleep a blessed wink and am going to be cranky all day" turning. This was definitely the latter.
He frowned in concern, wondering how much he'd had to drink that night. Surely he would have noticed something wrong with his partner. Unfortunately, as he looked back on the night, he found that he couldn't remember much of anything. He groaned and dropped his arm over his eyes.
"Dammit," he sighed, directing his words at his younger partner, "I really don't wanna work today."
Mac hummed in response, not his usual "I hear ya" hum but his "something's goin' on in my hard-drive of a brain and either only kind of listening or I am thinking really hard about something someone did" hum. Jack frowned and raised his arm, glancing at the tuft of blonde hair visible from from the bottom bunk. He dropped his arm, rolled over, and looked over his bunk at the younger man.
"What's wrong, kid?" he questioned, watching Mac carefully, "somethin' up that I should know about?" he sighed at Mac's head shake, "by that, I mean is there something up at all?"
Mac shook his head, "I'm fine, Jack. Just tired."
"You didn't sleep last night?" Jack questioned, frowning in disbelief at his partner's statement, "why not?"
"It's nothing, Jack," Mac rolled his eyes, finally looking up at his partner, "I'm fine."
Jack inspected his partner's face carefully, "I don't believe you," he argued, trying to trigger some good-natured banter from his partner.
"I know you don't, Jack," Mac snapped, irritation flashing through his blue eyes, "you don't have to explain it to me."
Jack's mouth dropped open at the kid's response, "kid-"
"I'm not a kid," Mac snapped, spinning towards the door, "I'll see you at breakfast."
Jack stared after his friend, his mouth hanging open in shock, "wha-"
"Damn, Dalton," one of the other men, Jameson, smirked, "you make him angry or something?"
Jack scratched his head, "I'm not sure," he admitted, sitting up and climbing down off his bed, "why do ya think he's mad at me?"
Jameson scratched his head, unconsciously mirroring Jack, "well, it's kind of foggy, but something you said last night doesn't feel quite right."
Worry gnawed at him, "what did I say?"
"Honestly," Jameson shrugged, "I have no blessed idea. I just remember you sayin' something and him walkin' off. The blurry stuff makes him seem upset, but I could be wrong."
Jack sighed, "dammit," he ran a hand through his bed head, "I hope I didn't hurt the kid."
"He looks fine," Jameson rolled his eyes at Jack's mother-henning, pulling his shirt on over his head, "I'm sure he's okay, you shouldn't worry about him."
Jack hummed noncommittedly, "well, I do worry about him, Jameson. He's my ki- my partner, and so I worry about him," he sighed, "but, I'll get to the bottom of it before the day's over."
As it turned out, it would be several days before Jack got to the bottom of Mac's frustration. It took three days of Mac dodging around him, giving him run around answers, and being irritable before Jack finally snapped.
"Dude," he grabbed Mac's shoulder and flipped his partner around after Mac gave him yet another nervous, sideways look, "what is your problem? You need to blow some steam off, man."
Mac glared at him, "don't tell me what to do, Dalton."
Oh yeah, that was another new development. Mac had quit calling him 'Jack' and was now calling him 'Dalton'. It had started while he diffusing a bomb, Jack had been rambling as usual when Mac had snapped at him to 'shut up, Dalton'. It hadn't stopped since then. No more 'Jack'. Not even a half-hearted 'Cowboy'. Just Dalton. It was almost like Mac was trying to distance himself from Jack, and he hated it. So, he snapped. He didn't want to, but that was how it happened.
"Then don't call me that!" Jack snapped, "what the hell is wrong with you, man?!"
"What's wrong with me?!" Mac yelled, his voice raising and drawing attention, "what's wrong with you?!"
Jack noticed some of the soldier's heads turning towards him but he didn't particularly care, "what are you talking about?!"
"I'm not a child, Jack!" Mac shouted at him, "I can take care of myself and I don't need you pretending to care about me!"
"Pretending?!" Jack snapped, a horrible sensation suddenly crawled up his spine. He gestured for the others to leave, knowing that were Mac not horrible angry he would never want people around for this argument, "what the hell makes you think I'm pretending?!"
"Everything, Jack?!" Mac glared at him, "you.. just... UGH! Why do you have to make this so incredibly difficult?!"
"Because I don't understand what 'this' is or where 'this' is coming from," Jack gaped at the kid, completely confused at the boy's actions and words, "just talk to me, kid. I don't understand what's going on."
"People always say what they mean when they're drunk," Mac snapped, his volume lowering. It was clear to Jack that he was quoting someone and he was pretty sure he knew who it was.
"Mac," he sighed, "what did I say?" he couldn't remember a blessed thing from that night, "did I say something to hurt you?"
"No, Jack," Mac shook his head, crossing his arms and rubbing circles on his arms. It was his signature self-comfort move when he was upset, "no, you just told the truth. It's fine."
"Mac," Jack pressed, stepping closer, "what did I say?"
"Nothing," Mac shied away from his partner, "you didn't say anything."
"Yes, I did," Jack persisted, now thoroughly concerned about what had happened, "what happened, Mac?"
"You don't want to know," Mac looked away, "you didn't say anything that wasn't true."
Jack stared at his partner as Mac turned to leave. Jack caught his arm, stopping him in his tracks, "Mac, what did I say?"
Mac glanced up and down from Jack's hand to his face, his eyes wide with restrained panic, "let go," he whispered.
Jack released him, "you okay, Mac? Take a breath, buddy."
"Don't grab me like that," Mac breathed, his chest heaving with barely restrained panic and frustration, "do not grab me like that. Ever."
"Okay, okay," he spoke softer, "I just need you to calm down and tell me what I said," he let his classic Dalton puppy eyes show through, "please.
Mac studied his face carefully, and finally relented, "fine, but I don't want you to try and justify it, okay? I get it."
Jack watched the younger man and listened as he haltingly relayed everything he'd said that night. Jack's gut churned as he heard some of the things he'd said to his young partner. Mac didn't meet his eyes, choosing instead to pick at a loose thread on his shirt hem.
"Mac, I.." Jack was at a loss for words, "I would never ever hurt you intentionally. What I said," he sighed, "I would never say anything like that sober, and I didn't mean it drunk."
"People always say what they mean when they're drunk," Mac replied, "I know that, Jack, you don't need to explain yourself to me."
"No, kid," Jack stopped him, "you're not listening to me, Mac," he sighed, "I didn't mean what I said, buddy. From now on just trust me, unless I say something positive, I don't mean it. I would never say something like that to you. I promise"
Mac looked up slowly, studying his partner carefully, "Jack," he sighed, wrapping his arms around his torso, "just... don't."
"Don't what?" Jack asked, keeping his eyes trained steadily on Mac, holding his gaze firmly.
Mac dropped his gaze, "don't make promises you can't keep," he rubbed his arms, "please."
"You callin' me a liar, kid?" Jack asked, keeping his expression light to make sure his comment didn't freak Mac out.
"No," Mac sighed, "I know you're not a liar..." he tucked his chin into his chest, "you just don't know me well enough is all. You say you'll stay, then you'll leave," he sighed again and stood up, "that's just how it goes with me."
Before Jack could respond, Mac walked out, leaving the ex-delta staring after him. So many things about Mac clicked into place for Jack in that instant. He stood, fully intending to find his partner and explain just how much he wasn't going to leave the blonde. Instead, he found himself face-to-face with his sergeant.
"Dalton," he snapped, "you and Macgyver are needed in the far west sector. We got reports of a bomb in that area. Macgyver is already on his way to your transport. take care of it."
~~~Line Break~~~
Jack stared at his partner through the scope, watching him as he disarmed the small roadside, "how you doin' down there, Mac?"
"I'm fine Jack," Jack could practically hear the eyeroll from his partner, "now would you just let me work on this without talking directly to me."
"Yeah, yeah, okay," Jack agreed, easily falling into the easy banter that had become so natural to him, "but seriously, I know sick cattle back home that could move faster than you are right now. Seriously, and Ole Jude would have you movin' faster than the speed of lightning in seconds, bud. No siree, you wouldn't be movin' this slow with Ole Jude nippin' at your heels..." he slipped quickly into rambling about everything and nothing all at the same time.
He babbled on about Ole Jude, their cattle-dog, and life on the farm. Mac seemed to steady and he set about disarming the bomb quickly. He was about halfway done when a flash of something caught Jack's eye. He lifted his head away from his scope and peered down at the corner near Mac's position. His blood ran cold as he saw the barrel of a gun aimed directly at his partner.
"Mac, jump around the corner to your left, now," Jack snapped into comms, "there's a gun to your right. Duck and cover."
"Jack..." Mac's fear was clear even through the comms, "I see the gun, but I can't move unless you want this bomb to blow up half the block. I have to disarm it, which means I have to stay here."
"Okay, kid, just take deep breaths, stay steady and act like you don't see it," Jack ran a hand through his frazzled hair, "I'm coming to you. Keep it up, kiddo."
"I'm not a kid, Jack," Mac snapped, his head jerking towards Jack's direction, "I'm an adult. A full grown adult. Quit calling me a kid."
"It's a term of endearment, Mac," Jack replied sharply, sighing, "what is wrong with you today?"
"What is wrong with me?!" Mac snarled, "what's wrong with you?"
"Excuse me!" Jack yelled into his comms, "I didn't do a blessed thing to you then you go and assume I'm lyin' about havin' your back. I promised you, Mac, and then you threw it right back in my face. So you ask what's wrong with me! You're the one with the issues, here Mac, not me!"
"Trust me," Mac growled, "I know I have issues, Jack. I don't need you to tell me that."
The statement, spoken with hints of sadness, shocked Jack into silence. He hadn't expected Mac to say that at all. He stayed quiet until he arrived at his partner's location.
He glared at Mac, "after we take care of that," he gestured at the bomb, " we're addressing this, " he glared sharply at the blonde.
Mac glared back, his blue eyes piercing and sharp, "there's nothing to address. "
Jack sucked in a breath at the hurt hidden behind his bright eyes, "Mac," he sighed, " we will be talking about this. "
Mac sighed, "just leave it Jack."
"No way kid, " Jack shook his head, "we're not leaving whatever this is unresolved. Not happening. We are talking about this."
Mac didn't reapond, opting instead to turn away and set about defusing the bomb. Jack focused his full attention back on the gunman, who had had enough presence of mind to retreat. They didn't have any more trouble on patrol, except of course, Mac's sudden attitude.
***Line Break***
Jack managed to catch the kid in their tent before dinner, "Mac," he sighed, "we have to talk, about this."
"No, we don't Jack, " Mac looked away, trying to pass him, "besides," he muttered bitterly , probably more to himself than anyone else, "I 'd probably just annoy you anyway."
Jack caught his arm, "excuse me? "
Fear flashes through his eyes, "let go of me."
Jack quickly released the younger man, not at all liking the fear in his expression, "please kid! Just talk to me!" He pleaded with his younger counterpart, " i don't understand! "
Mac glared at him and any reserves the young man had been holding suddenly broke in a now familiar torrent of emotion.
"Contrary to popular belief, Dalton," he snapped, " I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else! And I'm sorry if my IQ irritates you but if you don't like the way I work then get yourself assigned to someone else. And furthermore, I don't think I'm from good to drink with you I just don't drink!" His voice e cracked on the last word as he thought about his family's history with alcohol, "I'm sorry if you don't like me because of it but I don't trust myself around the stuff and I'm not going to compromise my safety and mental health too fit in with people who don't accept me in the first place!"
Jack taped at the blond, his mouth hanging open in shock. He shut it, swallowed, opened it again and tried to get words out. Mac shook his head, trying to shove past Jack. The delta grabbed his arm as he gathered his words. Mac waited for the inevitable explosion of anger that was sure to follow his outburst. It always had and some things would never cha -
"I am so sorry," an apology was not at all on the list of things Mac expected from the usually gruff man in front of him. He expected to be laid out in the ground bleeding or to be kicked into the next week. He never expected an apology.
"Uh," was the most eloquent response that the genius' brain supplied .
" I really said all those things? " Jack rubbed a hand over the back of his neck, shame turning it bright red, "ki-Mac, I'm so sorry! I never should have said that. It wasn't cool and I shouldn't have gotten that drunk either. It was stupid of me and I don't blame you at all for being mad at me! hell, I'm mad at me! "
Mac stared at his partner in shock, "Jack... you... I..."
Jack waved his hand, dismissing Mac's feeble protests, "no, kid, this one is on me. this time I screwed up. I did this, not you," he caught Mac's gaze, forcing the younger man to look at him, "I'm really sorry, Mac. "
Mac was staring at him in shock, confusion warring surprise for dominance in his expression, "I shouldn't have yelled at you," the blonde finally managed, "you didn't do anything wro-"
"Yes, I did," Jack interrupted, "you're my partner, Mac, I should have noticed when you got uncomfortable and stopped drinking. That's my bad and it won't happen. You have my word."
Mac studied him for a moment before grunting, "huh."
"What?" the delta, satisfied he wouldn't try to flee, released his partner's arm.
"Nothing," Mac shook his head before pausing and deciding to go for it, "that's just never happened before. The whole apologizing thing," he shrugged, "honestly, I expected you to deck me for talking back."
Jack stared at him in surprise, caught off guard by the calm and accepted way the statement came from Mac, almost like it was just a fact of life to get hurt for speaking up, "why the hell would I do a darn fool thing like that?"
Mac shrugged again, "it's always what's happened in the past..." he ran a hand through his hair, suddenly realizing what he was saying and feeling slightly self-conscious about it, "I guess I just didn't expect things to change much..."
Jack couldn't tear his eyes away from his partner. It took him a moment, but he finally shook off the shock, "let's get one thing straight, Mac," he laid down the law on the kid, knowing that Mac needed to be reassured, "I will never hit you for speaking your mind. that's what a partnership is, speaking your mind to each other. I won't hurt you for doing so. Kapeesh?"
Mac nodded, looking slightly confused but less hesitant, "yeah, I think I've picked that up from you by now. Thanks."
Jack stared at the blonde as Mac spun around and hurried away. The delta scratched his head, he might never figure that kid out. Mac was an enigma, wrapped in a mystery, wrapped in questions, all stuffed into a scarily brilliant mind. Jack growled slightly to himself. Mac might be mysterious, but Jack was stubborn. The delta decided then and there that, before he left the Sandbox, he would figure out as much as he could about the young EOD tech as he could. He might not be around long, but as long as he was there, he would do his best to help the younger soldier. He swore it.
Here y'all go! So sorry for the long wait! My family went haywire, my social life went kaput, my computer crashed, and my sister was ridiculously territorial with hers! So, finally, after much begging, cajoling, and pleading I have successfully commandeered my sister's computer. Really hope y'all enjoyed the chapter! Can't wait to here what y'all thought so lave a review! And I always love seeing what y'all want to read so leave a request too! The next chapter will be the second half of Fears and Doubts so watch for that! See you next chapter! Love y'all!
- storyspinner16