A/N: Sorry for another long wait! To give everyone an estimate, chapters will be posted within 1-2 weeks from the last. So for example, today is April 11. Expect an update towards the end of this month and at the very latest first week of may. College, life, relationships; it's all hard on the mind but I still want to finish this. This ff is my baby :( feel free to DM me on Tumblr if you have any questions or want an update. My User is wetwithemotions.

She wanted to manifest a life where there were no direct rules she had to follow.

The only dictation that could control her life was the way of women's rights, human rights. She didn't like the title of royalty, she didn't want to be subject to an arranged marriage, she didn't want to fight anyone let alone for anyone. Aside from her tough exterior, Temari dreamed of a peaceful ending, where she could live in a cottage surrounded by the wind, away from everyone. Nowadays she'd hoped Shikamaru would live out that dream with her, despite him knowing nothing about her sensible desires. She had no plans for children anytime soon- wanting to live out adulthood doing everything a bird free from its cage would do. She loved her brothers, but unfortunately they were followers. No matter how many times they would tell the enemy "I do what I want", they always obeyed the law of the land, and Temari wanted away from the land. She wanted her own land, where anyone could be anything they wanted to be and weren't objectified as tough or cruel based on their ninja status. She was tough because she had to be. She went out for the kill because it was her only means of survival.

She wanted a break.

Hidan wasn't her worst nightmare, nor would he ever be.

Not gaining her freedom was.

Despite being locked away in some isolated box, the rain was aggressively loud outside waking Temari up from a rough slumber on the cold bare ground.

Her injuries were gone once again. The thought of being delusional had already crossed Temari's mind, and she wasn't denying the possibility of a manic episode that would cause her to imagine things.

If her bruises were still there, her mind was doing a hell of a job to disguise them.

"Nothing is real." A thought that lingered in her mind. She wanted to go home, but her reality was powdering to dust. She couldn't remember what home was.

"Hidan will save me." She curled in fetal position across the ground, twitching slightly to the cold air surrounding her.

Which blue lip crusting over blood with her pale golden locks streaming down her cheek, Temari let out a sly grin.

"And when he loved me, he showed me with rage. At first I thought I was insane..." Her eery voice cracked with her new toddler tone.

"-When he hurt me, I'm sure it was just fun and games... the other boys never liked me anyways." Tears trickled down her fast before she burst out in hysterics. There was no joke yet she was laughing so hard she was crying

She was crying. Her laughter was so hard there was no more grinning, her mouth was bloody and her face was beat with the blood rushing to her cheeks.

Temari clenched her fists struggling for air after each hysteric tearful laugh.

Visions of her mother began to appear within her shut eyes turning her banter into a miserable weep.

"I'm in so much pain mommy! Why would you leave me to deal with this shit alone!?"

Memories of her and Shikamaru flashed through her mind. The love she had for him was still there, but sometimes she couldn't tell if he truly cared.

"I hope I'm worth fighting for."

The moon shot through each raindrop like lightning catching glare of the cigarette Shikamaru lit underneath a bridge in Konoha. He had never felt depression in his life and it currently had him in a chokehold. His hands shook with every motion back to his mouth to inhale. He wanted to scream, but he couldn't breathe. Everything that gave him air in this life was gone. He couldn't save Asuma, he didn't get to Temari in time. He was regretting his existence letting it feed into what little strength he had left to keep pushing forward.

"Useless, I'm nothing but a useless coward." He spat out at the earth in disgust with himself.

His under eyes were blackened from lack of sleep and stress. He had been wandering for hours with people searching for him, only for Shikaku to tell everyone to let him be while he grieves.

"I should have stayed. I should have fucking stayed. Give me a sign Temari, any fucking sign I'm begging you please be alive."

He threw the cigarette out collapsing into his hands and knees.

"You've got my head spinning, You're too good for me, you deserve better than a piece of shit... yet I don't want anyone else to have you. I don't want anyone else to love you, to hug you, to hold you, fight you. You're my favorite girl, but we live in distant worlds, and no matter how many times I think about our lives together, it still doesn't defeat the fact that it'll end up troublesome and complicated."

A sharp breeze slapped Shikamaru in the face. When he lifted his head he could feel some sort of debris in his hair.

He looked utterly confused considering the bridge was fairly new with no cracks, and the only substance around him was wet mud.

Sand

Shikamaru rubbed his hands in his hair to get what felt like sand out of his hair.

"A troublesome complicated life I need you in."

He walked out from under the bridge into the pouring rain, wishing he had just stayed. A troublesome life filled with pain, he was tired of just feeling 'okay'. The complexity of his relationship with her was something he didn't favor, yet he had no desire to be with anyone else.

No desire to go back to the talking stage with someone new, to reveal himself and deal with himself once again.

She was the only one who knew everything. She was the only one who could feel his pain before he could get over his stubborn heart and acknowledge it.

Temari was his purpose, and he knew he didn't deserve her.

The clouds were dancing, she was no longer laughing. Paper skies traced with purple hue, Temari felt content in this dream, she let her body get carried, blown away under purple moon. Her white dress was clean, as if it had never been worn until this exact moment.

Whispers were dancing all around her. "Konan, what are you doing?"

"She didn't do anything wrong, she's faced the same pain we had."

"Return her."

Her body slowly fell into a soft grassy plain, where her hair cascaded onto the earth.

"You're safe now, he won't be able to get to you now." That soft voice spread a smile across Temari's dreamy face.

"Temari! Temari!" The voices of what sounded like Sakura and Ino were loud and concerning.

Temari yawned and opened her crusted eyes to be greeted by the two scared kunoichi. Her dress was clean, there were no signs of bruising on her, and she felt rather full.

"I'm free?"

"We were all worried! Where were you? Where's Hidan? Are you-"

Sakura cut Ino off before she could continue with her banter. "Sorry to startle you, but for someone who was kidnapped, you look rather... fine?"

Temari frowned and shrugged. "I really wish I had the answer to how I got here. I thought I was dreaming."

She looked around noticing the grassy plain in Konoha and the morning sky. She was mainly wondering where Shikamaru was but didn't want to ask right away.

"Let's get you examined to make sure you're okay first before we go back into the village. Only a select few know about your disappearance and who knows what it will start if people found out."

Sakura pulled off her satchel and began to examine Temari's vision, ears and mouth. She checked her pressure points and had her walk to test her stability.

During this time, Temari spoke about everything that had happened to her with Hidan and how she thought she got here. She was genuinely confused about the whole situation and did not want to seem like a liar because of the lack of evidence she held.

"Everything seems fine unless you're in some sort of pain. Do you feel any discomfort?"

"Not really." Temari pondered on what had just happened. A small part of her actually wanted to know where Hidan was. Her fear of what he could possibly do was no longer there, yet she dismissed it as the thought of Shikamaru's whereabouts bothered her.

"I do have a question though."

Sakura turned around to look at the blonde. "What's up?"

"I'm not crazy right?" Temari put her hand over her forehead and sighed.

"Temari, you were missing for a week, you have no shoes on, a dress, and your hair is down. I don't think you're crazy and don't ever think for a second that we don't believe you." Ino nodded with Sakura's response.

"You went missing, and then Asuma died. I know you may not be here for long, but if you do stay for a bit- do you think you could try and find him?" Ino tried her best not to seem like she knew what the two had going on, but she herself hadn't seen her friend in days.

Temari let off a warm smile and nodded. "Only if someone gets me some clothes and hair ties."

Ino and Sakura pitched in to get Temari a new Kimono and sandals along with some hair ties to restore her everyday look.

"I'm guessing he took your tessen?" Ino asked.

"Actually no. That's still at home as far as I know." The three sat at an outdoor teahouse watching the villagers walk by trying to relieve tension and focus on getting back to somewhat normal.

"If you don't mind me asking, where are we when it comes to the Akatsuki?" Thoughts of Hidan still lingered in Temari's mind, and she really just wanted to know if he was alive or not so she could be better prepared this time around.

Ino sat up straight and looked into Temari's teal eyes. "We have all of the names of everyone in the Akatsuki but no idea of their whereabouts. As far as I know, there are no casualties from Suna, but unfortunately Hidan killed Asuma during battle. We know he's still alive but we have no idea where he ran off to... Did he say anything to you?"

Temari traced her tea cup with her finger and swallowed. "He was mad when he came back. Extremely mad to the point where he..." She took a deep breath and looked away.

"You don't have to say if you don't want to." Sakura put a hand on her shoulder.

"Sexually assaulted me. And then his usual physical abuse. The last thing he told me was that we were relocating before he vanished. I ended up having a weird yet peaceful dream and I mean now I'm here. I don't really know what to say, and I don't know how my injuries vanished considering how badly I was beaten."

She turned her head towards Ino and sucked her teeth. "That's no matter though, what are those names?"

"Aside from the ones we already know, we've discovered Deidera, Kisame, Kakuzu, Pain and Konan."

"Konan" Temari remembered her dream but kept that to herself.

"I'm gonna go for a walk, I'll catch you guys later? I'm gonna try to contact my brothers before heading back to Suna."

Temari knew where she was going, she already had an idea of where Shikamaru was but was swift in making sure nobody saw where she was going.

The Nara Clan Forest was huge yet hard to access. If you were an outsider wandering within, you'd most likely walk through a few trees before being spat out. In this case, Temari had been there so much she knew the ins and outs. She had made peace with the deer that lived there so there were no mind games being played on her by the sneaky mammals.

After walking for several minutes, Temari came to an opening and sat down by the glistening lake.

The sound of rustling bushes was instantaneously heard behind her.

Temari let out a soft smile as a tear streamed down her cheek. She quickly turned around to see him standing before her.

His under eye area was puffy and dark. You could tell he hadn't slept in days.

Before she could find the words to say, she collapsed into his arms and wept.

"Promise me you won't leave again."