A/N

A HUGE thank you to 'Hannah (grahamlecter)', for Beta-reading this, for catching my mistakes, and for the wonderful comments. As promised, here is Chapter 7 (things are heating up between the pair). I hope you enjoy it! If you would please let me know by leaving a comment?

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Chapter Seven – Jumping in the Deep End…

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Susan slid her shoes on, grabbed her hoodie off the coat rack, took her wallet out of her purse under the table, and scooped her keychain out of the wooden bowl on top of the table.

Spencer picked up the eight-inch lacquered bowl and studied it for a moment. "What would you do if Betty didn't unlock the door?" His eyebrows arched as he set the bowl back in its place.

"I still have my keys… and besides that, there are other ways to get in."

He held the door open for her and followed her out.

After Spencer closed the door, Susan spoke out, "Betty lock up and open the driveway gate." The sound of the deadbolt turned, and the gate started sliding open.

Spencer drove two streets over, parking at the curb in front of his apartment building. "I shouldn't be very long… if you'd like to go up with me."

Susan was speechless for a moment. "This is my apartment building."

"Well… hmm… you did say it wasn't that far."

They walked into the lobby and Susan used her key, opening the inside door to the corridor leading to her apartment. "It's number 13, on the end. My grandmother would have been fine with me living here rent-free, but I insisted on paying my own way. Well, mostly… I get a bit of a break on the rent."

"My apartment is upstairs… on the end. It's funny how our lives have crossed over the years. I saw you on campus at GW, twice, weeks after that lecture. Both times, I was going to talk to you but got called in on cases. Hmph. I should have talked to you first." When they got to the staircase, he slid his arms around her. "I kept hoping to see you again, before yesterday, that is."

Her hands rested on the front of his cardigan. "Perhaps we weren't the people then we were supposed to be when we finally got together. There's no sense in wondering what might have been, though. Better to wonder what could be. Right?"

"That's one way of looking at it." He kissed her for a long moment before letting her go and started up the stairs. Without thinking, he looked back at her and reached his hand out.

Staring at him, she took his hand, remembering something from the past. "I saw a guy on crutches once, near the top of the stairs. His leg… was in a brace, and his hair was longer. He reminded me of you."

"That was me."

"I didn't realize. I was visiting over a three-day weekend and stopped by to get something from the apartment while Lizette waited outside in her car. I almost asked him... if he needed help, but it seemed he... or you had it under control."

"Hmm. So, another time our paths nearly crossed." On the way to his apartment, Spencer told her how he had been shot in the leg ten years before and had surgery to repair the damage.

Closing the door behind them, he gathered a few things, straightening up on the way to his bedroom. "Feel free to look around." That yearning ache he felt gnawed at his insides and all he wanted to do was hold her, kiss her and feel her against him. Well, that wasn't all he wanted, but it would do for now.

Susan studied the art on the walls, smiling at the bookshelves, as she read some of the book titles. You can tell a lot about a person by what they read. Checking out his record collection, she noticed she had many of the albums on her MP3 player and quite a few of his books she either owned or had read. She heard the shower was still running, so she took a book off the shelf and sat on the sofa to read.

After a while, he came out, clean-shaven, wearing fresh clothes, his hair still slightly damp. He chuckled when he saw that Susan was reading Synchronicity by Carl Jung and bent down to kiss her, then turned around and went back into his bedroom.

He came back out, slipping a toothbrush into his go-bag—still in the package, to replace the one he left in Phoenix while on the last case—and set the bag down by the front door. Watching curiously, he crossed the room, as Susan put the book back, trailing her fingers gently up the left side of the built-in bookcase, to the carved wooden bracket on the top shelf.

He slid an arm around her back and kissed her temple. "These bookcases were the primary reason I rented this apartment."

Susan looked up at him with a wistful smile. "Phil and I helped Grandpa with repairs in this apartment, over the Christmas break, when I was twelve. The tenant had been given an eviction notice after his girlfriend left and he stopped paying rent. Before he took off, he used a sledgehammer on that window over there, this wall, and the bathtub. He took his clothes and most of the furniture, but funnily enough, left the sledgehammer. Instead of new drywall, we helped Grandpa build and install these. Notice how this frame looks different than those two?" She pointed to the bookshelves behind his desk. "It was done to hide the extensive damage done to this wall. Your apartment is the only one in the building with a stained-glass window, four built-in bookshelves, and these Corbel brackets on the top shelves. Grandpa added them to make the bookcases look more… mmm… matching."

Still standing at her side, he slid his hand across her midriff, to her other side, and held her, pressing his lips to the top of her ear. "The first time I saw the apartment, Stuart… from the rental agency, told me it had been recently renovated. So, you helped build these…"

"Mm-hmm. I scratched my initials on… one of the shelves, with an awl, while we put it together." Talking in a whisper, Susan turned to face him, sliding her hands up his arms and over his shoulders.

"It's on the shelf… there." He answered, waving his hand vaguely at the shelf next to the window, then trailed his fingertips lightly back up her side, under her arm.

After a long, slow kiss, Susan drew back a few inches, still whispering, "In the bathroom, I got to pick out the—" She suddenly twisted to her right, gesturing behind her. Spencer's hand was on her side so lightly, it didn't move with her but unintentionally ended up on her tank top over her breast. She softly gasped but didn't move his hand or ask him to stop. Instead, she returned her hand to the back of his head and pressed her lips to his.

Spencer thought he should apologize, or put his hand down, but it wouldn't move, and he kissed her back. He couldn't stop kissing her; he felt her trembling as she leaned in, welcoming his touch; his hand molded to her breast, his fingers caressing gently. The left side of his brain told him to stop, take a breath, take a step back, but the rest of him argued against that.

Strongly.

He opened his eyes as Susan broke the kiss; his hand still on her, the other on her back, holding her against him. Reason threatened to regain the high ground. He took a breath and cleared his throat. "Sorry… I don't know what came over me…" but couldn't seem to move his feet, and didn't want to let her go, so he forced his hand to move over her side, to her back.

Her eyes were wide, and she was breathing harder, her hands still holding the back of his head. Spencer thought he should let her go, but then Susan wet her lips with the tip of her tongue and he had to kiss her again, had to hold her tighter. Words raced in jumbles through his mind, and only one thought made sense. Six more feet to the sofa. He took a step, and she moved with him… so he took another, kissing her harder, deeper, still holding her.

Susan's eyes were closed, and she felt Spencer moving, but he wasn't pushing away. She was lightheaded, and it felt marvelous, and she remembered the sofa was only a few feet behind them. This is what she wanted, no, needed. Her entire body was on fire from the heat between them and she took another step back, letting him lead, turning her around slowly, almost like a dance.

When his leg bumped against the cushion near the padded arm, Spencer reached behind him, breaking the kiss as he fell back onto the sofa. Susan's hands slid down his arms, catching his wrists, pulling her with him. She yelped, landing with her knees open, straddling his thighs. Silently, she slid her arms back over his shoulders, watching his eyes.

He pulled her closer, holding her waist, feeling her bare skin under the hem of her tank top, feeling her tremble. And once again, his lips were on hers, while his hands moved slowly over her. Down her back and further, over her bottom, holding the back of her thigh; the other slid up her side, underneath the fabric of her tank top, his fingers relishing her soft skin and up further, covering her bare breast. Yes. Groaning low, that raw, red-hot need nearly consumed him. He wanted more. He wanted all of her, wanted to lay her down on the sofa…

Susan heard a soft sound escape her throat, a cross between a sob and a moan. She couldn't breathe, could hardly think, there was only longing, with her body pressed against him and her fingers in his hair on the back of his head. Gasping for air, she drew back an inch. "Shouldn't we use… um… do you have any—"

Spencer couldn't think of the word… couldn't think. He knew it earlier, knew he didn't have any, but that word and several others escaped him now. "No? Are you… on the… uh…"

Eyes wide, she shook her head, trying to breathe, trying to process the thought. "On the… oh… the pill? No… never needed to be…" She was on a micro-thin edge of not caring about any of that. Only this...

Taking a ragged breath, Spencer slowly, reluctantly moved his hands to her hips, trying to slow his racing pulse. In his head, he recited the oath he took when he was sworn in and the Pledge of Allegiance, even the Green Lantern oath, trying to get the rest of his body back under control. Not like this. It needs to be right. He mentally kicked himself for not having any condoms, thinking a bit clearer now. That's the word.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me." He didn't want to be sorry, he wanted more. To hold her, kiss her harder, to lose himself in her, hoping he'd find what he'd been searching for, for so long.

She was still pressed against him, still trembling. Her voice was soft, breathy; barely a whisper, "No… no apologies needed. As I said… we're both adults. Mmm, there's a drugstore… not far…" She sat back on his knees, bringing her hands down and gripping his arms to steady herself. "I need to stop by my apartment first…"

"Sure, yeah… uh… no problem. So another thirty minutes?" Spencer said, only half-joking. Susan moved over, sitting next to him, and he launched off the couch, going into his room. When he came back out a few minutes later, he hurried to the door, picked up his go-bag packed with enough clothes for at least a few days, hauled the strap over his shoulder, and held the door open for her, his hand absentmindedly patting the side of his leg.

As he pulled the door closed, he checked it, made sure it was locked, and followed Susan down the stairs to her apartment.

They walked in to find the place a mess. Beer bottles, soda cans, and fast-food wrappers littered the kitchen counter, the table, and the coffee table in the living room. That delightful throbbing sensation Susan felt was replaced… with irritation.

"If you don't mind, I need to take a few minutes to pick up. I was hoping to take a shower."

"Sure." Disappointed they wouldn't be leaving right away, but curious about her apartment, Spencer needed a distraction. He set his bag down and closed the door, looking around at the layout. The kitchen and dining area were on the left side and on the right were three doors; two bedrooms, with the bathroom in between.

Susan stood in the open doorway of the bedroom closest to the front door. It was also a mess. The sheets and blankets were piled in a heap on the bed and litter covered the nightstand. She was angry not simply from the mess, but by the evidence of drugs, including a dirty hypodermic needle, stuck into the carpet. She yanked tissues out of the nearly empty box on the nightstand, picked up the needle with it and shoved it into the already overflowing trash basket next to the bed, and then did the same with the various baggies and vials, finally setting the tissues on top of the trash, not wanting to touch any of it.

Digging her cellphone out of her pocket, Susan called her cousin and left a message as she walked back into the living room. "Janelle, I asked you not to bring drugs into the apartment and I'm tired of cleaning up your mess. It's not a flophouse for you to abuse. So I'm having the locks changed. Don't bother coming back." She jabbed the phone, ending the call, and sat on the couch to calm down, tossing the phone on the cushion next to her. "Janelle's been doing this for years, taking advantage of everyone, never doing a damn thing for anyone else. I've tried being nice, even after everyone else gave up on her, including her parents. I can't do it anymore." Taking a few deep, slow breaths, she unclenched her hands, got up, and went to the kitchen, pulling two clear garbage bags from a roll under the sink. She started tossing the trash in one bag and recyclables in the other.

Spencer took a bag from her and helped, quickly picking up bottles and cans, then walked back over and took the trash bag. "Why don't you take a shower, and I'll finish this."

"Oh, you're wonderful." She kissed him. "You don't have to do this but thank you." She kissed him again and went into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

He heard the water turn on and finished picking up in the living room. It didn't take very long, and he figured this would divert his attention for a little while, though it didn't ease the longing he felt.

In the front bedroom, he was about to toss a small carton from the nightstand into the trash bag, when he saw what was in it; two sealed condom packets. Pursing his lips, he tucked them into his pocket, dropped the empty box and the other trash in the bag, tied it off, then knotted the smaller bag from the basket and set them down in the kitchen. He thought about taking the trash out, but because of the needle in the small bag, he figured it best to leave it and wait until it could be disposed of properly.

After washing his hands in the kitchen sink, he used the last paper towel on the roll to dry them and tossed it into the trash bin. He considered laying down on the sofa for a while, then remembered to check the back bedroom, pausing as he walked by the bathroom door; the shower was still running.

The other bedroom was clean and undisturbed. With the curtain closed, and the light off, it was the perfect place for a quick nap, since he wasn't sure how much longer Susan would be in the shower. He set the packets on the nightstand, slid his shoes off, and laid down on the bed. Closing his eyes, Spencer sighed and smiled, letting his mind wander…

Susan felt calm and collected as she dried off and stepped out of the shower. Well, a bit calmer, anyway. Draping the towel around herself, she tucked it in, wondering if the clothes she kept in the dresser were still in there. It had been weeks since she had even gone into her old bedroom, so it was likely Janelle had borrowed the clothes. After turning on the exhaust fan, she wrapped a towel around her hair and tucked it in at the nape of her neck. She was going to quickly duck in there for a moment but stopped when she opened the bathroom door.

The living room was tidied up, but quiet; Spencer was gone. In the kitchen, she saw the bag with bottles and cans, the other bag, filled with trash, and the small bag, from the bedroom trash basket. Thinking he had gone back upstairs, Susan went back into the bathroom and took the towel off her head, hung it up, and combed her fingers through her hair, braiding it, securing the end with the only elastic band she found in the drawer. By then, the mirror was de-fogged, so she turned off the fan.

She was about to flip on the light in her old bedroom, when she saw him lying on the middle of the bed, eyes closed, shoes off, wearing mismatched socks, with his fingers laced together over his stomach. Susan trembled, smiling, remembering Dave once told her the kid—as he called Spencer—was undoubtedly the most intelligent person he knew, besides her, of course. She couldn't help but chuckle at his socks, thinking to herself how adorably sexy he was. Maybe it's a laundry issue?

He opened his eyes and saw her standing by the bed, wearing nothing but a towel. "Well, this is getting interesting. Look what I found, while cleaning up." Turning onto his side, he pointed to the packets on the nightstand, feeling unusually calm.

"Hmm, what do you know, Janelle finally managed to do something nice for me, for a change." Susan opened the towel, letting it fall onto the floor, then laid down on the bed alongside him and kissed him.

Pleasantly surprised, he pulled her into his arms. He couldn't think of any other words, except now. Now.

After several more delightful minutes of kissing, holding each other, soft touches and caresses, Susan said softly, quietly, "You have me at a disadvantage, Doctor. You're still fully clothed, while I am completely exposed." Smiling sweetly, she was irresistible and at that moment, Spencer imagined himself on the edge of that metaphorical deep end with her. It felt good. It felt right.

He sat up, yanked his polo shirt over his head, and tossed it towards the dresser, then laid back down and held her close. Feeling her lovely naked body soft and warm against him aroused him completely past the point of distraction. "I'm not nearly as comfortable being… undressed, as you seem to be."

"I wouldn't do this for anyone else. In case you didn't know by now, I have a particular type I'm attracted to; tall, intelligent, and handsome, named Spencer Reid."

"That's very specific." He didn't want to let go of her, but despite how it felt, the rest of his clothes weren't going to melt off. He pulled them off quickly and moved back over next to her. "I'll admit, I'm nervous."

Laying on her side, she propped herself up on her arm. "I'm nervous too, Spencer, but I want this. I want you."

He cleared his throat; glad there wasn't much light in the room. "I want you too… but I…" He shook his head. "Are you sure?… I don't want to disappoint you."

"I'm sure, and I haven't been disappointed so far. Whatever happens from here, I've nothing to compare it to." She frowned for a moment, then she smiled endearingly. "Actually, movies and romance novels don't count." She kissed him again, her hands warm on his back.

Spencer held her, kissing her lips, her neck, her throat, and back to her lips, as his hand slowly roamed down to her hip. Hearing her soft murmurs, feeling her shuddering and the warmth of her breath on him, he wanted her. Now. Looking up at the nightstand behind Susan, he was trying to think. Trying to think of a way to get to one of the packets without ruining the mood.

She saw the expression on his face and tilted her head back and reached, almost able to grab one of the packets. Her breasts proved too tempting, and Spencer wanted to taste her; had to… needed to. Groaning, he lowered his head over her, his mouth covering her hard nipple, savoring her.

Susan had picked up the packet, but gasped in surprise, dropping it on the bed beside her; feeling as if her skin had caught fire. It was such an intense, delightful feeling; overwhelming, and yet she wanted more. Spencer heard her moan, felt her hands on the back of his head, pulling him closer. When he lifted his head up, he saw her half-closed eyes and a beautiful smile on her face.

Softly, she whispered the very words—the only words—on his mind at that moment. "Want you. Need you."

That fiery hunger inside burned even hotter, ready to burst into flames, as Spencer moved up, kissing her lips, more aware of how her skin felt and the sounds she made, than his hands moving over her, touching her, caressing her.

She tensed, clutching his back, moaning against him as her body shook, her voice barely audible. "Spencer? Make me yours."

Even as his lungs strained for air, he kissed her, reaching over her, feeling for the packet that she had dropped on the bed. He heard her whisper, felt her hands gently rake over his shoulders. Shaking his head, he felt oddly calm, despite his pulse pounding in his ears and what felt now like a fire roaring through his veins. "I've got this." It took a moment, but his arms were once again around her, kissing her, holding her, pulling her closer. It was a peculiar feeling, as if moving in slow motion, with Susan warm and inviting under him. Their kisses grew more intense and as they moved together, their bodies merged, fused together; he heard her gasp sharply.

That sudden but brief pain subsided, melting into a warm, intense pressure, and Susan brought her legs up around him, to keep herself from shaking apart, to pull him closer, feeling him deeper inside. She felt his arms tighten around her, his hands gripping her back, his lips against her neck. Her body shook, burning as that current sizzled through her; she tensed up, crying out his name against his throat, much of the sound muffled.

Spencer was swept up in a whirlwind of intense sensations, when he felt, more than heard Susan say his name, like an impassioned prayer and all the doubt, fear, and inhibitions he had kept bottled up inside for far too long fell away, burned away. Trying to stay in control took more focus than he had and could feel himself giving in. To her. The pair found a fervent rhythm all their own, culminating in an exquisite release.

They held each other, unable, nearly as much as unwilling, to move, both still breathing heavily, their hearts hammering in concert. After a few more moments, Susan slid her legs slowly down the back of his legs, tucking her ankles in behind his knees, lacing her fingers over his lower back. His weight on her was warm and wonderful and it felt amazing, being so physically connected.

Still propped up on his forearms, he had his hands under her, resting his forehead on her shoulder, trying to slow his breathing. The blissful haze lasted several more moments, as his thoughts gradually returned, like a fog lifting. He recognized the feeling, similar to the effects of Dilaudid, but instead of leaving him weak and feeling ashamed for being weak, he felt incredible. His lips turned up into a smile; those love chemicals he had only read about flooded his brain.

Holding her a while longer, he enjoyed the way she felt under him, enjoyed how she looked under him, smiling, radiating with a rosy glow. Even with rumpled hair, she was beautiful, and he enjoyed the way she looked at him. He kissed her softly, murmured in her ear, and moved over, taking a few tissues out of the box on the nightstand. A moment away from her was two moments too long—he threw the wadded tissues and latex into the trash basket beside the bed, pulled the blanket over them, as he returned to her side. Laying back on the bed, he held her close, letting out a deep, satisfied sigh.

In a soft, sleepy voice, Susan purred against him, "That was incredible. I could quote the psychological and physiological reasons for this… but mmm, feeling it first hand? Uhhh-mazing."

Spencer chuckled, stroking her back as he felt her relax against him. "Mm-hmm. I'm glad you enjoyed it, too." He felt groggy and warm but liked it even so. Of course, having her in his arms made it even better. A few blissful moments later, both were asleep.

When she woke up, feeling rested, still laying in Spencer's arms, she didn't want to get up but had to use the bathroom. She sat up, smiling down at him as he opened his eyes. Leaning over, she kissed him, then climbed off the bed and picked up her towel. "Back in a few."

After hearing the bathroom door close, being naked and quite alone in bed, he started feeling self-conscious and decided to get dressed. Moving over to the side of the bed, he saw small red smears on the sheet. Of course, he knew what it meant, but he was still surprised and more concerned with how she felt.

A couple of minutes passed and Susan brought her clothes with her into the bedroom, lost in thought. Standing by the bed, she absently wondered aloud if the Superposition Principle could be applied in the case of her clothes in the dresser. "Of course, the hypothetical experiment with Schrödinger's cat was designed to point out the flaws in the Copenhagen interpretation. Hmm... " She turned to him; silently questioning and saw the amused look on his face. She explained. "Janelle borrows my stuff, so my clothes could be in the dresser and at the same time… not."

Spencer, wearing his pants and polo shirt, sat on the corner of the bed, about to pull his socks on, watching her, listening intently. He grinned, thinking to himself, I could happily spend the rest of my life learning everything there is about her.

Susan set her clothes on the dresser and opened a drawer. "And my stuff is still in there." Holding her clenched hands up in mock triumph, she continued dramatically, "The cat lives!" which made Spencer laugh. She pulled out a pair of underpants, slid them on, then her yoga pants. Turning, she smiled impishly at him, with her hands on her hips. "Watching me get dressed is becoming a habit with you, Dr. Reid."

He couldn't stop grinning. "I figured you'd be used to it by now. A beautiful, half-naked woman I made love with, talking about quantum mechanics? You have my complete attention."

Laughing, she put her knee on the bed alongside his leg, slid her arms over his shoulders, and kissed him, her bare breasts pressing delightfully against his shirt.

He held the back of her thighs and pulled her closer so that she was straddling his lap. He held her hips. "How many dates is that so far? Seven? Eight?"

She felt his lips brush against her shoulder. "Mmm… let's call it eight. Keep in mind… I didn't put out until after our sixth date." And she kissed him again, trembling, her lips soft, but insistent.

Spencer moved his hands down, holding the back of her legs, aching to make love to her again; he felt incredible and wanted more. He looked into her eyes as his brows pulled together. "Are you okay? Did it… hurt much? So, you were… I mean, Did I... ?"

"Did you boldly go where no one has gone before?" She smiled so sweetly. "I'm okay. It only hurt for a moment, like… a hard pinch. Now I feel… mmm… sensational."

The Star Trek reference made him chuckle, the rest made him feel good, and he kissed her neck, feeling her tremble.

Her head dropped back, and she moaned softly, arching her back, her hips pressed against him, as he skimmed his lips over the curves of her breasts. Pulling him closer, Susan whispered, "There's still another packet… right?"

Spencer answered with a groan, kissing his way from her shoulder to her lips, and her soft sighs and moans filled his ears. They moved back on the bed, undressing each other this time, in between kisses. There was no hurry; they had time for this, for each other. Once their clothes were off, he wanted to memorize her body, kiss every curve as they lay there. Touching her, kissing her, hearing her moan, feeling her body next to him was incredible, so much more than he ever dreamed.

Turning onto his side alongside her, he held her close as Susan stretched out against him, shuddering, and Spencer could swear he felt that electric current sizzling through him. Kissing her, holding her, his hand wandered slowly down her back, to her hip, sliding up her side, even slower over her, gently fondling her exposed breast, the other pressed enticingly against his chest.

Kissing her neck, he murmured in her ear. He had to let go of her—which he did reluctantly—so he could get the other packet off the nightstand. This is definitely easier the second time around, he thought.

Tossing the empty wrapper towards the nightstand, he started to turn back over to her and Susan suddenly moved over him, straddling his hips. Resting his head on a pillow, he bent his legs behind her, feet flat on the bed. He held her hands, pulling her down gently so that she lay against him...

/

Susan remained atop Spencer, with her knees snug against his sides and her hands under his shoulders. As their breathing and pulse slowed back to normal, she moved her hands, put them flat on the pillow, next to his head. She lifted her head up a few inches and laughed softly, looking down at him.

He grinned, his hands sliding slowly back down to her hips. "I can't imagine what could be so funny… right now."

"Mmm, I was thinking as wonderful as it would have been to get together… after I turned 18… I wonder if… no, I would've chosen you over my other degrees. This is much more enjoyable." Her brows knit together. "But then, I wouldn't be the person I am now, would I?"

"I have to agree with you on that." Lifting his head, he kissed her shoulder, up to her ear, feeling her shudder. "There were so many nights I dreamt of you."

She kissed him again, lingering and soft, then sat up, leaning back against his legs, her fingertips trailing down over his navel. "I had dreams of you, too. Before I went to the photoshoot in New York with my mom, she and Grandma sat me down, talked to me about keeping my focus on my education. Turns out they were right to be concerned."

Spencer trailed his fingers up her arms to her shoulders and eased her back down to kiss her. Then he kissed her earlobe and down her neck and dropped back onto the pillow. He grinned up at her, letting out a sigh. "Ahh… Vidi, Vici, Veni."

Susan's eyebrow arched. "Wait, isn't that supposed to be—?" She said softly, "Oh, you're funny. So, you conquered me? Is that right?" He chuckled, nodding.

She smiled and added, "Mm-hmm… yes you did,"

He wondered if perhaps it was she who had conquered him. "Lean back, please? I'm going to sit up. Hold on." Spencer pushed his hands down on the bed, straightening his legs at the same time Susan leaned back, holding his shoulders. She straightened her legs, one, then the other, wrapping them around him.

Kissing Susan, holding her, felt so right, it felt as if they had always been together. "Having a high IQ didn't make it easier to talk to women. Oh, and I used to be really freaked out by germs." He closed his eyes, enjoying the sensation, as Susan brushed her lips against his neck. "This feels amazing. I'm comfortable, yet highly aroused and completely terrified… all at the same time."

Her eyes widened as she pulled back to look at him. "I get the comfortable yet aroused part, but terrified? Of me?"

"Not of you…of messing this up, of saying, or doing something so unbelievably… idiotic, you decide you'd rather not be around me. Terrified some unsub is going to try to get you, to get at me. Of having to cancel plans for the fiftieth time, because of my job and you finally get tired of it. I feel like the luckiest guy in the world, wondering what I did right, to have a brilliant, beautiful, sexy woman like you want to be with… me."

"Hmm, well, you're a wonderful guy who helps track down and put away truly awful people, you love your family and that includes your teammates. I'm sure you'd take a bullet for any of them. You have gorgeous eyes, and sweet lips I would happily volunteer to spend forever kissing, and arms I'd want to be wrapped in the rest of my life."

"I still feel like I got the better part of the deal." He sighed and shut his eyes again for several long seconds and Susan silently kissed his eyelids, slowly, gently, making him smile wider. "I feel like I can tell you anything and you won't treat me like I'm... weird." He chuckled. "Hmm… my lips are numb… but… I don't care."

"Besides, I'm the lucky one, Spencer… to find you." Susan was quiet for a moment, and he opened his eye to see tears filling hers. "You're the one man in… I can't even truly calculate the infinitesimal odds, who makes me shudder, who makes me… feel." Susan attempted to lighten the moment. "Trust me, I've done the math. It's the Collatz conjecture." He understood and nodded, smiling. She went on. Her voice was now solemn and low. "Over the last… thirteen years, I've interviewed hundreds of people for data on various studies and my dissertations, attended classes with another several hundred more, and only you make me feel this way. I'd like to think if I hadn't gone to that lecture, we would have met somewhere else… given the number of times our paths crossed. If we hadn't…" Her voice broke, and her chin trembled as tears slid down her cheeks. "I'd rather be alone as I have been… than be with someone… and not feel anything."

Spencer hadn't considered that. "Only me? Ever?" He wiped her cheeks with his thumbs, then put his arms back around her.

"For a brief moment, one other time… it was more like a shiver, probably because of the circumstances… but I don't know who he was. I had laser eye surgery in May 2007. I told you about that?" He nodded, and she continued. "Ballet and glasses, well, any dancing while wearing glasses was a problem. I couldn't wear contacts; they made my eyes dry and itchy."

"I get it. It happens to me too, sometimes… though… not the dancing part. Oh… sorry… go on... please?"

"So afterward, the doctor put drops in my eyes and taped thick gauze pads over them because I kept trying to rub them, which he told me not to do, then put these UV sunglasses and my baseball cap on me, to keep the sunlight out. As mom set up the follow-up appointment with the receptionist, we heard gunfire in the medical clinic next door and we were told to stay inside until police got there. I found out later a man shot one of the doctors there."

Spencer's eyebrows rose, and he smiled… oddly.

Susan was looking at his chin, not meeting his gaze. "What felt like hours later, I heard sirens and people were pushing and I ended up getting separated from my mother and fell down outside. Everything was loud and scary; people were shouting… and stepping over me. Then I heard screaming and someone helped me up off the ground. I assumed he was a man… a policeman… he wore a bulletproof vest and stood in front of me. My heart was pounding as I held onto the back of his vest, but I still felt that zing, because I have no control over it. I had forgotten about it, but talking about the laser surgery last night…" Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I never told anyone about feeling it then… not my mom, or my grandma… not even Lizette." More of her tears spilled, and he tipped her chin up with his fingers to look at him.

Spencer smiled and held her, one arm still around her, wiping her tears away with his free hand. "Gideon, Morgan, and I were there… at the front of the building, helping Metro PD with the evacuation, while Emily and Hotch were in back, dealing with the hostage negotiations. I nearly got knocked over when people started running out and a young lady fell down in front of me. Susan, I was the one who helped you up. I kept saying it was going to be okay, but there was so much noise, I wasn't sure if you heard me. With the hat and sunglasses, you didn't look like the pretty ballerina from my lecture." He smiled and kissed her. "Our paths kept crossing for a reason… I get that now."

A few more happy tears tumbled down Susan's cheeks, and they held each other for a while longer. Kissing that spot under her earlobe, Spencer felt her tremble. "As nice as it would be to stay here all day, we should get up."

After getting dressed and making the bed with a fresh set of sheets, Susan took a tote bag out of the closet and put the other set into it. "I'll wash these after we get home."

In the kitchen, she opened the fridge. "Hey, there's still water in here." She pulled two bottles out, handing one to Spencer. "In case you didn't already know, I'm not disappointed. At all."

"Thank you… for that. We need to go to the pharmacy… for more of these." He grinned, holding up the empty packet, before tossing it into the kitchen trash bin.

"Oh, for sure. I'll be right back" She crossed the apartment, going into the bathroom and came back out seconds later, scanning the room. Picking up her phone from the sofa, Susan turned to him. "Okay. Now I'm ready."

They picked up their mail and stopped by the manager's office, to let the manager know the lock on Susan's apartment needed to be changed.

In his car, they buckled their seatbelts and when he looked up; she leaned over and kissed him.

He chuckled. "I could get used to that."

"Mm-hmm. Me too. Now I understand why my parents and grandparents were so happy!"

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A/N

Me again! If you enjoyed this and want to read more, please leave a comment. If you found any mistakes, please let me know. I'd be ever so grateful. And if there is a story of yours you want me to read, let me know, in the comments (I always leave reviews on stories I read).