A.N: Double update today because I FINISHED THIS BITCH, and I'm happy. I'm going to be a proper git and post the rest of the story after I get 3 reviews on each chapter I post, since I'm needy.

I love you all, thanks for sticking it out with me, Happy and Tori until now.

- Daisie

"Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need."

SEVEN

It was the first time in thirteen months that the nightmares hadn't come for me or haunted me and I got a good sleep. Hours worth of sleep without waking up screaming.

The answer as to why I'd been able to sleep for hours straight was obvious when I opened my eyes and looked around. I was too hot and could feel the layer of sweat that had made it's home against my skin, weight down by the thick tattooed arm banded around my waist and holding me hostage in bed.

What had happened the night before came back to me in full force and I found myself in a state of limbo while I tried to figure out what to do. Half of me wanted to snuggle back into Happy's chest and get more sleep, to let his overwhelming comfort envelope me and take me back to dreamland to get another good few hours rest. The more sane half of me knew that I needed to get up and call Ryan back, to apologise for not answering his call the night before and then get on with my day.

It took me twenty minutes to worm my way out of Happy's hold and out of bed in a way that wouldn't wake him, only succeeding by pushing the pillow I'd been using he night before into his chest. He stirred slightly with a frown on his face, then buried his nose in the pillowcase that still smelt like me and the frown lines between his eyebrows evened out.

I stood by the side of the bed and watched him sleep for ten minutes before my brain caught up to what I was doing and I forced myself to move from the bedroom, grabbing he discarded jeans from the night before on my way out.

With nothing else to do I decided to make something for breakfast, it had been around thirty-six hours since I'd had anything to eat, and Happy would be famished when he woke up.

I pulled the cupboards open in the hopes that I'd find something I could fix him for breakfast. Happy had warned me that he'd been living on takeout and alcohol, but I didn't think the cupboards would be completely bare, same as the fridge and freezer besides the alcohol he'd stashed away. There weren't even any dust bunnies setting up residency.

When I realised that there was nothing in the house that I could make him unless he wanted a six pack of beers from the fridge of breakfast, I decided that I would have to go to the grocery store in town. Whether he realised it or not, Happy couldn't live purely on takeout, I'd have to spend time cooking him meals to freeze so that he could eat them once I'd left town and headed back to Salem.

The idea of me leaving made my stomach churn in a way that had nothing to do with the lack of food for such a long time, but I field it away in the back of my mind in a box that I'd labelled, 'shit I will deal with only when I have to'.

I tossed up whether or not to wake Happy and let him know that I was leaving so he didn't have a heart attack when he woke up, but finally decided against it and closed the door to let him sleep peacefully. Trying not to wake the Enforcer of the Sons of Anarchy was harder than expected since he would wake to the slightest noise, so I took my hand break off and rolled out of the driveway and onto the street before I started the engine.

I'd left behind my books, my clothes, my sanity and my heart. I'd left behind everything that I needed, but I'd gotten both of my phones and my purse was still in the car from the night before, so that was some sort of comfort. I knew that I wouldn't be leaving town for a while and I'd have to go back there before I headed home to Salem. I had to drop off the groceries.

But I wouldn't stay.

Tangerine, Tangerine, living reflection from a dream. I was her love, she was my queen. And now a thousand years between.

The knowledge of who it was came to me without having to look at the screen and I pressed the button on my radio that connected it to the Bluetooth on the radio. "Hi."

"Hi?" Ryan sounded slightly hysterical, which only made his Nashville accent come out harsher. It seemed to double in strength when he was worried or upset. "Hi? Tor, I have called you twenty times, I was worried that you were dead in a ditch somewhere, and all you've got to say is hi?!"

Not dead in a ditch, I almost told him out loud, Just sleeping in a bed with my ex Old Man while I ignored your phone calls and tried to convince myself that I'm not in love with him anymore. You know, just the usual.

"Sorry, I left my phone in the car and didn't think about it until this morning. We stayed up pretty late talking and trying to make sense of everything, by the time that it was done I just needed to sleep." The words were out of my mouth before I could think about what I'd said.

"You and Happy?"

I didn't hesitate for a moment. "No, Gemma and I."

Ryan let out a long breath that sounded a lot like a relieved sigh and I wondered why I'd just lied to my boyfriend. I hadn't done anything wrong the night before; I hadn't kissed Happy, no matter how desperate I'd been to, so why had I found the need to tell him that I'd been with someone else? "Oh right, he doesn't get home until today."

He got home last night, I wanted to tell him. He got home last night and I'm terrified because I'm pathetic and I don't think that I'm angry at him for cheating anymore. "Yeah."

"What are you up to right now?" He changed the subject. "What are you doing?"

I pulled into a parking spot at the front of the store and turned the car off, then grabbed my purse off the front seat and walked inside. "I'm trying to figure out what groceries to buy. And now I'm thanking god that they have air con in the grocery stores here, it is disgustingly hot outside."

Two loves of bread and a jar of crunch peanut butter dropped into the cart that I was pushing while I wandered down the first aisle. "Why are you grocery shopping? Does the hotel even have a fridge?"

"Not for me, for Happy." I chuckled. "He doesn't have any food at home, all of the cupboards are empty. The fridge has five six-packs of beer and the freezer has a bottle of whiskey and some ice cubes. He's practically running his own liquor store."

Ryan stayed silent while I tossed a few packets of pasta and a variety of different sauces into the cart. Surely Happy couldn't fuck up heating up pasta if he only had to put it in the microwave? Maybe I'd leave him instructions tacked to the fridge just to be careful. "Why do you care if he doesn't have anything to eat in the house? And how do you know that he doesn't have anything to eat in the house?"

"I went back there last night to grab some of my stuff that I'd left behind. And I care if he doesn't have anything but liquor in the house because he means a lot to my family and I don't want him to starve." I supplied the best excuses that I could. "Hey, has Travis said anything about me not being at work? I called him yesterday, but he was busy with a client and I haven't had the time to call him back."

My eyes met those of an older woman's who looked at Happy's shirt that I was still wearing overtop of my baggy jeans. Her beady eyes narrowed on the Sons of Anarchy emblem for a second too long before she shook her head and walked past me muttering about good girls getting caught up in bad boys. I almost went after her and told the old hag to mind her own fucking business, but I managed to control my temper long enough to focus on the phone call.

I knew that he didn't want to carry on the subject about me saving Happy from starving to death because he didn't want to fight. He never wanted to fight. "He's only asked when you're coming back. When are you coming back?"

My eyes took in everything that I'd placed in the cart. It was more than enough to make him a few weeks worth of meals and was probably going to cost me a small fortune that I really couldn't afford after taking time off work to go back to Charming, but it was worth it if I knew he was going to be taken care of. "I don't know yet, Ry. It depends on how things go, really."

"Ballpark?" He asked quietly.

I was walking to the checkouts but ended up getting drawn to a packet of frozen meatballs when the idea came back to haunt me again: Why did the idea of leaving Charming and going back to my life in Salem hurt so badly? "Probably a few days, maybe a week. Like I said, I'm not sure yet."

When he stayed silent for an extended period of time, I checked my phone screen to make sure that the call was still connected. I knew that he wasn't happy with my answer but it was the only one that I could give him. "I'll call Travis and let him know what's going on so you don't have to deal with it for me."

"You do that." He sighed loudly. "Have fun grocery shopping for your ex."

His tone left no question that he was angry about what was going on, his Nashville accent out in full force, but I was already in emotional turmoil from spending the night in Happy's arms and couldn't bring myself to take on the drama that he was baiting for. "Have a good day, Ry. I'll call you later."

"Sure."

The line went dead.

I frowned at the phone in my hand with distaste. I knew that I wasn't being fair to Ryan and that he was completely entitled to not like that I'd driven for over half a day to go to my ex-boyfriend's rescue. He was more then entitled to dislike that I'd been in limited contact since I'd arrived.

But he didn't get it.

I hadn't shared about the Sons of Anarchy or Happy's involvement with them. In fact, I hadn't really shared anything about any of them. As far as he knew Gemma was just an old friend from the town that I'd once lived in, and Happy was an old friend of hers – she'd introduced us, which technically wasn't a lie – which was why she'd called and informed me that he was 'going through a rough patch'. The rest of them that called were just friends that I'd picked up along the way of living in Charming.

It was easier than trying to explain my past and leaving out the majority of information for the club's protection, no matter how strange he found most of their names and would get confused when I wouldn't answer certain questions.

I decided to turn my phone off so that it would go directly to voicemail if he'd decided the good-guy act had come to an end and he was ready to have an argument. It was a good plan. The conversation that was necessary was another thing that went straight into the, 'shit I'll deal with only when I have to' basket.

"Holy fucking shit."

The voice was one that I instantly recognised, and I spun around so fast that it gave me a head spin and left me slightly wobbling.

"Opie said that you were here, but I didn't believe him." Lyla's mouth was thinned in annoyance, her expression hard despite the gleam in her bright eyes. "I said, 'no, if she was back in town she would have come to see me by now'. Good to know that my husband isn't a lying dick and my friend is just an asshole."

Her façade slipped after a few more seconds of tense silence, and she crossed the few steps to reach me then pulled me into her arms and squeezed me. "Fuck, it's so good to see you, Tori!"

I couldn't contain the laughter that slipped out of my chapped lips when I hugged her back. My almost argument with Ryan was long forgotten, evaporated due to the lightness in my heart that seeing my friend had created. "I'm so happy to see you, too! I was going to come around today, I promise. I just had to buy groceries first. Happy's kept our house spotless, but he's been living on takeout and there's nothing in our cupboards."

If she'd noticed the way that my body had gone rigid at my slip up of 'our', she didn't show it. Instead she squeezed me again and then pushed me out to arms length like everybody else had been doing since I'd returned to Charming and they'd gotten their first look at me after thirteen months. "Girl, your hair looks so good. Who would have thought that you'd suit short and blonde?"

I took her hand in my own, unable to let her go after a year of not being around her. "And look at you, you look beautiful. I'm assuming that you've been going to spa days with Gemma?"

She smirked, a look that reminded me so much of Gemma and the person I'd been before I left. "Yeah, as soon as I found out that you get free champagne when you get massages I was there. Can't get Tara there, of course."

There was a tone of hostility in her voice that made me want to question what Tara had done to piss the group off, but I kept it to myself in order to keep the peace and not get sucked into any more drama. "Well, you've got me. Week after next it's a girls day. I will drink the whole group's champagne if you're not careful."

I blanched at what I'd just said. Week after next? Didn't I just tell Ryan that I'd be home at the end of this week?

Lyla squealed in excitement and then pulled out her buzzing phone, a frown taking her smiles place. "Babe, I've got to go, the kids are in the car. But message me this afternoon and we'll make plans. I'll get Opie to let the guys know, we'll all go to the bar for a welcome home drink!"

I didn't correct her that Salem was my home and that I wasn't sticking around. "Sure, that sounds great! Maybe the clubhouse, though, so everybody can just go up and crash in the dorms rather than trying to find a way back?"

She squealed in excitement again, clapped her hands and hugged me. "You were always the rational one, I'll let Opie know we'll go to the clubhouse."

Lyla let me go and moved around me, then looked over her shoulder. "I'm glad you're back, Tori, we're going to have such a good night. Show you what you've been missing."

The nosy old woman who'd disapproved of my affiliation with the Sons of Anarchy was behind me at the checkouts when I finally made my way through, and I made a point of returning her glare until she awkwardly looked away.

The audacity of her had me fuming the whole drive from town back to the house, ready to snap at the slightest thing.

I tugged two of the bags up the front steps and inside.

"You're back."

Happy's voice made me jump the moment I'd stepped through the front door which resulted in me dropping one of the bags that I'd been struggling with. "Holy shit, Happy, stop sneaking up on me! You scared the fuck out of me, I'm going to have a heart attack if you keep going."

It was something that he would have laughed at back when we'd been together. His ability to scare me because of how stealthily he could sneak up on me and how silent he could be was something that he found amusing on a regular basis.

There was no laughter in his voice or the way he was looking at me. "I didn't think that you were coming back. I thought that you'd gone to the hotel. I thought … I thought you were gone."

I glanced up from gathering the spilled pasta and canned goods on the floor, ready to snap at him not to be ridiculous. I paused at the terrified look in his eyes and his words hit me like a cyclone.

He'd been scared that I'd left town, not that I'd gone back to my hotel. "I went to the grocery store so that I could get food to cook. You know, real food. The kind that isn't sold with copious amounts of MSG and who knows what else? You can't live off takeout forever."

Happy ran his tongue over his teeth a few times and gathered himself before he finally nodded. "Okay."

He took the refilled bags from me when I stood up and carried them into the kitchen. "These weigh a ton, little girl. You should have left them in the car and I would've gotten them, you know I take care of that shit."

I smiled cheekily. "Glad you said that. There's four more in the car if you'd like to go and get those for me while I start packing these away?"

For the first time since I'd returned from the store, Happy managed a small grin while he ran a hand over his bald head. "Yes, ma'am."

He'd just stepped out of sight when I thought about what had happened in the store and called him back. "Oh, Happy?"

His head reappeared around the corner. "Yeah?"

"We're going to the clubhouse tonight." I busied myself with packing away the two bags of groceries that needed to go in the fridge so that I didn't have to look at him. "I ran into Lyla at the store and she wants to have a drink to welcome me home."

He stayed silent for long enough that I stood up to make sure that he was still there and had heard what I'd said.

"Okay, little girl, that sounds good." His smile was so bright that the possibility of me bursting into tears was high.

The smile was still on his face when he brought the rest of the bags inside and dumped them on the kitchen island. I could feel his eyes on me as I riffled through them and started packing them away, a scenario that had played out countless times before in what felt like another life.

"So, I ran into this asshole of a woman." I started when I realised he was just going to keep watching me in silence. "She had the fucking audacity to look at your shirt and start snarking about good girls getting caught up with bad shit. Can you fucking believe that? She had the nerve to start judging me about my family and Old Man in front of me. She ended up being behind me in the checkout, so I glared at her until she backed down, but I was cranky the whole way home about it. What a stupid bitch!"

I glanced at him out of my peripheral vision to see a his teeth on display, lips pulled up into a large smile. When I began to worry that he was having a brain aneurism or something of the sort, I looked over my shoulder at him. "What? Why does your face look like that? Is there something amusing about me finding the one asshole in the store?"

He didn't drop his smile, just shook his head in amusement. "I'm just happy, little girl. I'm just really, really happy."