Atsuko and I made a neat little tag team. The little girl had picked up some cookbooks and gotten pretty decent at it(well, compared to me, not my original dad's cooking), given I helped her reach the counters. These kitchens were not made for seven and eight year olds. I cleaned when things got dirty, Atsuko decorated and picked up the random stuff strewn about.

I didn't have much to do though. You would think that after a year and a half, I would find something to do. But not really. Art was a good habit, but I never got constructive criticism or anything on it(blowing it up is not how you make it better, Atsuko), so my creativity has kind of dried out.

So I was getting kinda depressed probably. I was tired of everyone's crap, and nothing worked. Shukaku and Gaara were pleasant company, especially since the kid had figured out how to talk to me, though he still stayed pretty quiet.

I even tried using the transformation jutsu to look like a normal looking kid once. It didn't work, people just got even more freaked out about me when they found out. Annoying that the stupid sand won't let me have even a moment of peace. In a village in the middle of a desert, you'd think that at least some people would constantly have sand swirling around their feet, but nooo.

Eh, they can just die anyways. Me, Shukaku and Atsuko have had our fair share of fun getting our feelings out on those small-minded idiots by ruining their houses and stabbing and crushing and just maiming them in general. Atsuko less so, thankfully. Kids should keep their morals.

Anyways, one good thing did happen during that year. The water clan opened a water park! Kind of like what you would find at resorts back in my old world!

So that brought us to our current situation. We were walking straight into the building. I had a bet that everyone would clear out once we got in. Not that I particularly cared. As long as Rasa didn't show up. That was a really annoying problem.

We passed a head of dark blue hair peeking out from the side of the building. One of the workers was telling them skiddatle. Poor kid. Still, not my problem. Maybe it should be, but I just don't feel like helping them out right now.

I didn't bother using the changing rooms. I'd figured it would complicate things. For two reasons: One) I Wouldn't want naked people running around the desert screaming, right? They'd get sunburnt. Not that any Suna natives did though, even if it makes absolutely no sense considering how pale we all are. Two) I didn't have swim clothes to change into. I lived in a freaking desert!

So Atsuko followed my lead, and we opened the double doors in the center that lead straight into the pool. I located the largest waterslide and immediately made a beeline towards it.

My presence went unnoticed for maybe a minute. Well one person saw me, and quietly backed away. I got in line for the slide, and the person two steps up noticed, then whispered in the next person's ear. Everyone took their turn, and nobody got back in line. Soon enough the place was mostly empty, save for four people who were either idiots or didn't care that I could murder them whenever I felt like it(not that I particularly did, at the moment), as well as six staff members talking in hushed voices in the corner.

The slide was great. But I was a bit distracted by Atsuko, who was hesitantly poking the water.

"What's up? Something wrong?" I asked as I walked over.

"I…" Atsuko rubbed the back of her head. "Idontknowhowtoswim"

"What?"

The kid said she doesn't know how to swim. Don't you have ears?

"Oh."

Well, uhhh, I have no idea where to start. I was in swim lessons for about as long as I could remember, so I have prior experience. In teaching though? Nil.

"Well, I think the first thing to start with is not to electrify it. Or pee in it. Don't drink it, lots of people have been inside it. And try not to drown. So don't stay underneath the air for very long, or better yet, at all. You can stand in this end, don't go any farther. Got it?"

"I think so."

I watch Atsuko for maybe a minute, then shuffle away from the awkwardness.

You're a horrendous teacher.

Look who's talking. Remember that time when you tried to teach me how to cook a cactus branch?

Hey, it was utterly satisfying to watch. You didn't die, so it's fine!

I thought for a moment. Fair.

I felt a presence behind me as I trekked up the stairs. and I turned backwards to see who it was. Climbing the steps was my classmate- I don't remember his name but I think he was one of the kids from the Crystal-style clan.

"What do you want?" I hiss.

"Nothing," He replies lazily. Like this, he would fit right in with the Nara clan if he took naps.

"And? Nobody approaches me without something sour to say."

"And I appreciate you clearing the pool out for me?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Where's the negativity? I can tell it's there by your annoyed glare." He actually surprised me for once. There's not actually much anger in there.

"My dad is captain of the anbu squad assigned to you and he says that you really get on his nerves." he says with a sigh.

I was intrigued now. I went down the slide once and waited for the kid to come down too. And he did! Was he not terrified, perhaps because of the father he mentioned? "Mhm, and? Why do I annoy him?"

"Oh, lots of reasons." And he's picking his ear again!

"Maybe he should actually bring them up with me then," I grumble.

Hey Shukaku? You're the better sensor here, where's the anbu at now?

Roof supports to your left. I thought you were more skilled than that! I won't help you next time you come begging for pointless things. Do it yourself.

Nothing's pointless, you know.

Peh. Your life is pointless.

I turn towards Anbu, and shout. "Hey! Get down here so we can chat! I'm bored!"

I swear I could hear him sigh before he shunshinned down to the edge of the pool. These crystal clan people sigh a lot. "How did you find me this time?"

I grin smugly. "Ichibi told me."

I figured if he wasn't an anbu with a mask on, he would look mildly surprised. "You know I'm not supposed to be talking with you."

"So? I'm bored, and it's not like I can kill you, you're an anbu captain and I'm not feeling particularly violent today. Your son tells me you've been irritated by me. Why?"

"Lots of reasons."

Oh, looks like the kid got bored and started doing something else. I wonder how Atsuko is doing on the kiddie side of the pool.

"What reasons? I'm getting tired of asking everyone to elaborate."

"Well, for one, you keep leaving chicken sauce out at the sink and nobody cleans it up, so it gets really smelly and I have to clean it up," the man said with an exasperated tone. "And every time you kill someone your dad puts half the blame on me, and you and your little partner keep jumping out at me every so often and it's creepy, especially when you talk about disgusting foods that actually almost make sense but you can't cook them to save your life. And you're just really creepy and know things you shouldn't, like when you speak that freaky ancient-beast language and start teaching it to the kid."

"English?" I said in english.

"Yes, that. Please stop, I have gotten a lot of questions about it that I can't answer."

"Never! 'Tis amusing to watch y'all freak out about it, lol!" With nobody fluent in the language here to correct me, I could abuse text abbreviations as much as I wanted. Funny how he said it was an "ancient beast language" when I know it's not, and the ancient beast inside me speaks fluent japanese like the rest of these "normal" people.

Maybe I should start speaking your language then, kid. I bet it would give some of my siblings a scare.

I'll teach you if you want, you probably know a little from me teaching Atsuko, but if you want more I'd be happy to help. Dunno if your ego would allow that though.

Hmph.

"Well if you're better at cooking than us, then don't hesitate to help. Kaguya knows we need some at least not negative company."

"I will keep that in mind." The anbu captain then blurs away again.

Aww, I didn't even get any of their names.

Anyways, I'm about done, time to head over to Atsuko and see what she's up to.

I squeeze some water out of my clothes as I walk to Atsuko, only to see her playing with another kid, the dark-haired one I glimpsed earlier at the edge of the building. They looked to be about the same age.

New kid was swimming like a fish as she was talking to Atsuko- no wait, she was a fish. What was a hoshigaki doing in suna? Author must be pulling crap.

Then the shark kid lunged out of the water and tried to bite me, would you believe that? But I jumped backwards, seeing as I left my sand in the corner. Wasn't that hard to call it back though, and the kiddo wasn't very good at walking around out of the water in fish form.

So obviously, I went over and patted her.

"What's up?"

"I'm supposed to kill you," she hissed.

"No, and I think I'm going to adopt you too, Atsuko needs a friend who isn't insane yet."

The kid turned back into her human form and looked at me, surprised. "What?" Oh look, she's got a cute little samehada rip-off. Woah, it looks closer to a real sword rather than the spiky club of the original one. I never understood how they could call that thing a sword. Actually, it kinda looks like Maui's fish hook from Moana but if you straightened it, flattened it, made the spikes a little bigger, then turned it purple and covered it in tiny spikes. Nah, it actually doesn't then.

"I murder people every so often, and am from a different world and knows the original future" I said, finishing in english and smiling creepily.

"But I just tried to kill you-" she starts.

I cut her off. "Everyone does, don't worry about it. Only one who didn't was Atsuko here."

"Yeah! I saved Gaara from his dad! Kazekage-stupid was trying to kill him because he was salty that Gaara was so bored 'cause he couldn't sleep so he took a nap and let the big tanuki inside him stomp on the city."

Yeah, that about sums it up.

"You can have the house across the street, it has more sinks, I would guess that you being part fish would not have a good time without water, "

"I am NOT a fish! I'm Asame Hoshigaki!"

"Sure you aren't, and I'm not the crappy oc insert in a fanfiction."

"What even is a fanfiction?" Atsuko asks.

"It's a story based off of another story. Anyways, fish, I'm going to kidnap you now." I grab the girl and her sword, and casually walk back to my house.

A/N: sorry for the long wait! Anyways, Asame should be my last oc until shippuden(kidding, every story needs crappy ocs especially in suna where we have like 10 characters in the whole show), and the two won't really be a big part(until shippuden). I was bored and just wanted to make up a few characters. Also, sorry for any inconsistencies in my writing(especially accidentally writing "say" instead of "said") because I was recently writing a few(non-fanfic, ones i will not publish on the internet) short stories that were set in present tense.