DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. PLEASE REVIEW! I will take advice and suggestions from my readers while continuing the story.

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

A/N: Here we have a flashback within a flashback

THAT was the misunderstood fox?!

Ru scoffed at herself. She wasn't sure what had happened: she could hardly move and felt like there were others surrounding her, but they were moving sooooo slowly. She couldn't see them either. For a moment she wondered if she was in heaven or the Pure Lands - or somewhere like that - but she had a feeling that she'd have no such luck. She felt herself fall deeper into sleep, her dreams turning into nightmares of what had taken place earlier...

"Get on your knees and pray to me, Worm!"

Ru scratched the back of her head before pulling down on her blonde curls, looking around the barren sewers surrounding the giant caged animal before her. Oh, she knew who this big orange guy was already; stories of the Yondaime defeating the beast were widespread and wildly celebrated in their village. God was this Bijuu more terrifying looking and larger than anything she'd imagined, though. It was even worse than Voldemort, the giant dudes, trolls, plus the dragons in Harry Potter combined, and Harry's enemies had always scared the crap out of her.

"Uh, no: I don't think I can do that in good faith, Kyuubi-sama. Oh! Forgive me, sir!"

Eek! She had used a pronoun to identify the fox's gender and hoped it was correct: she assumed the fox was a he because of that big booming deep voice, but she could be wrong. That would make a terrible first impression! "Gomennasai, Kyuubi-sama!" Ru bowed deeply, placing her forehead into stagnant water on the concrete floor. "Perhaps it would be better if I called you 'they?'"

Kurama didn't know what the hell the idiot was talking about, but he appreciated her bowing like the insignificant vermin she was. He was suddenly reminded of the first time someone bowed low to him like this...

"Kurama-nii! Oh! I didn't mean to scare you," Asura said, surprising the oldest Bijuu.

"You didn't scare me! How could you even do such a thing to me, the great Kyuubi no Kitsune, Asura? I am the one to protect my siblings, after all."

"Hai! We're thinking alike once again." Seeing the fox's face tilt cutely in confusion, Asura continued. "It's as you said, Kurama. I am here to ask for your advice and assistance!"

Kurama sat back down, willing to make his hair do the same. Asura can be really scary when he pops in like that. "I will do my best to assist and advise you, though this is the first time you've requested anything of me. What is it you wish to discuss?"

"It's about Indra. He's just getting farther and farther away from us, Kurama," Asura responded with pain in his voice.

Kurama tried to hide his scowl at simply hearing his father's oldest brat's name. "Let him go, Asura. I fear he will never stop..."

"I was thinking that since you were with Father for so long that you would know something to say to get through to him!" Seeing Kurama flinch at mentioning their recently departed father, Asura bent down to pet Kurama between the ears.

"You have fought him time and time again. Surely you must realize by now that Indra," Kurama spat the name, "will never give in until he finally destroys you! You must defeat him! I don't know what will happen to mankind if he wins..."

"Father would be disappointed in your words, Kurama," Asura replied, making Kurama recoil.

"...and I'd also like to apologize for you being locked up in here. I just realized that this might be the case recently." Ru bowed again.

Kurama realized that the flesh bag he was sealed within was speaking again. Damn her for making me remember that! Meh, that just makes me hate her even more. Excellent.

"I've always believed that animals should not be caged," the insect continued.

Did she say "animal?" Oh, I'll give her an animal! "So little one... Why not let me out, then? Do you see that piece of paper against the bars? If you simply remove it, I'll be able to stretch and be free, just as you and I both desire," Kurama said smoothly.

Ru walked over to it, noticing that it was a seal that looked... really cool. Actually, she thought it looked like the tattoo on her stomach. Ohhhhhhh... Christ, she'd been an idiot. She cleared her throat before speaking again, trying to remain composed and in control. "It looks much more complex than anything I've ever heard of or read about, Kyuubi-sama. What will happen if I remove it?"

Damned human. "Hmm. Why don't we see, little one?"

"I have a question first, though. It's said that you went on a rampage in the village. Were you sealed before this or did you come from elsewhere? Why did you choose to destroy when you're obviously so much more powerful than those that fought against you?" The Bijuu didn't reply, but the glare he gave her when she asked about a previous seal only worsened when she mentioned him choosing to destroy the village. Suddenly she didn't feel like he was just a "poor misunderstood fox," like her - no, Rachel's - little nephew told her. "Okay, Kyuubi-sama," Ru noticed that the fox's eyes lit up like the damn Grinch did on Christmas Eve while planning to destroy the Whos holiday plans. "I gotta confess... I used to be - or maybe it was in another life or something... I was, well: this probably sounds stupid, ya know?!"

"Continue," Kurama said coolly. Now you sound like your idiot mother. By the Sage himself, I hate you!

"Well, where I was from before, there was this anime on television called 'Naruto.' It seems that I've somehow reincarnated into said anime," she said in embarrassment. "Except, of course, I'm not in a cartoon: things are... about as real as they get, really."

Great: not only is she a fucking Uzumaki, but she's also either insane or has an ego the size of... me when I was whole! Kurama was having increasing trouble restraining himself. He so wanted to chew the Ningen out. And just chew her bones, too, feeling them break into dust within his mouth before eventually shitting her out.

"ANYWAY, in the anime, 'Naruto' - who was a boy, by the way," she was pacing back in the water in front of the cage now, "and obviously I'm not a boy. Oh well. Anyway, there was a sand guy who was crazy, a sword guy who was insane, giant frogs and perverts..." Ru didn't notice one of the Kyuubi's eyebrows twitched, giving him a thoroughly disgusted expression at the last two things she mentioned. "Oh! A clan or something got massacred, too. I forgot about that! But anyway, in the end, there was a huge war, and you worked alongside Naruto to save the world." She smiled at the stunned Kyuubi.

Yeah, like that's going to happen. Still, though: one thing the rat said was interesting: "Which clan was massacred?" Kurama asked, an increasingly sharp and terrifying grin on his face. Kurama wanted them all to die, of course, but if what she was saying was real - and it couldn't be - it would be simply marvelous if it were the fucking Uchihas. The fucking Senju and the fucking Uzumaki line were almost dead, so the fucking Uchiha joining them would be simply magnificent!

"I don't know, actually. And I have no way of knowing." It bothered her now that she realized what was supposedly coming. Ru didn't want an entire extended family to die: it was almost unconscionable.

"I do not respect liars," Kurama lied.

"OI! I'm not lying! Here I can prove it! Your name is... Wait. Let me think for a second. It starts with a "k" sound, and it was a really big deal when you finally gave it to Naruto. The anime Naruto, I mean." She didn't notice the way the Kyuubi seemed to tense a bit before slowly standing up. She didn't even pay attention to how the water surrounding her feet and ankles was getting warmer and warmer. "Ku -no, not Ku-something. Oh! I remember now! Your name is 'Kaguya!'"

Having been harshly thrown out of her mindscape, in Ru's place stood a man that Kurama had not seen in hundreds of years, if not more. The man shook his head and looked up at Kurama in sadness and a bit of pity. "Father would be disappointed in your words and actions, Kurama," Asura said before slowly dissolving from the Bijuu's sight.

"You've got to be kidding me," Kurama hissed to no one in particular. He didn't feel the shame he'd felt the last time Asura had scolded him. After all, Kurama had been right, and Asura should have known better. For a few moments, Kurama wondered just how many times the brothers had reincarnated over the millennia. One thing he was sure of, though: Indra was always the instigator of their deaths, no matter how many times it happened, over and over again. "Inari-sama! Does that mean the better brat's chakra is in her?!"

Meh, I'll just have to find a way to hate Asura: I can do that, he thought as he closed his eyes.

Closed eyes or not, one thought kept him awake for quite some time, however: this means the red-eyed spawn is here and will be after Asura, and thus me, too. What a shitstorm!

Ru was knocked out of her mindscape so damn hard, her ears felt like they were bleeding at the fierce roar of the Kyuubi's voice. Frankly, she wasn't sure if the Bijuu had been pissed off because she did guess his name correctly and didn't want her to know it, or if he had a problem with the name she thought she'd remembered! Damn fox.

"-u-chan? Naruto? Come on back to us, sweet girl!"

"Ugh: that fox is an asshole," Ru mumbled to herself.

"Ru-chan! What did you say?" Yugao asked in a panic. She was right beside the blonde's fluffy-haired head when she spoke, but she wouldn't tell anyone else that didn't hear unless Naruto confirmed it.

Naruto blinked her eyes hard before wiping at them, too. She felt funky and almost drugged. "Nothing. I - I musta been dreaming," she lied. She really loved her housemates, after all, and now at least she knew why she was so hated within the village. Would the ANBU she cared for hate her, too, if they knew? None of it was fair, as it wasn't like she asked to have a big grumpy asshole sealed inside her, but knowing why the villagers hated her so much helped somehow. She felt her stomach drop at the idea of going out into the village, though. Yeah, she wasn't going to do that at all anymore... And why hadn't anyone told her about the demon in her gut?! Suddenly it became clear to her that someone in the room was sobbing loudly.

Gai-san was on the floor, bowed with his forehead repeatedly knocking against the tile. Ru couldn't understand anything he was attempting to say through his choked tears, and she'd finally had enough. She didn't want him to hurt himself! "Gai-san! STOP!" The man looked up at her brokenly, snot and tears covering his whole face and a good deal of the floor beneath him.

Ru didn't understand much of what he was saying, but he was apparently apologizing and feeling responsible for her being attacked. She looked down at her arm and saw that it was in a cast. Oh yeah: that jerk DID break it! Listening to Gai again, she heard something about him failing his mission to save his friend or rival or something, and that his rival was a broken man as well as highly unyouthful. Naturally. Ru snorted: unyouthful. She really liked Gai-san. His boogers were grossing her out, though.

"Alright, that's enough, Gai-san. It's not your fault, anyway! I couldn't quite get everything..." - almost anything you were saying, actually - "you were saying, but don't worry about it. Honestly, I'm just glad you and everyone else are here." She looked around at her ANBU housemates and smiled genuinely, though she still felt really out of it. Holy cow: Moon's finally not wearing her mask! She's beautiful! "I'm so lucky to have y'all. I hope we'll always be together," Ru said shyly. She closed her eyes again and felt an odd sadness pass over the group just before she was reluctantly asleep again.

Little did Naruto know, but her guard would be taken away and not allowed to speak with her until she was a Genin, and they had all been notified the day before. As ridiculous as they felt it was, the Hokage's orders could not be denied, and thus when the little blonde would enter the Academy in a few months, they'd all be off "Priority Mission Nine."

Four months later...

The boy who somehow made it through The Veil only to land in an alternate well-known but unlikely universe paid no mind to his father and his friends' jabs regarding how excited he was today. He couldn't care any less about "school" at the Academy; he only wanted to check out the real Uzumaki Naruto, future hero of the village. His excitement was almost comical, but who in his position could blame him? He'd make friends with the kid whether Uzumaki liked it or not! Whether his parents liked it or not!

In front of the Academy, the Hokage eventually began a long lecture on the Will of Fire and striving to be a splendid shinobi or kunoichi, as the village leader was looking around with an occasional frown on his face.

I bet he's looking for Naruto. Oh God, was the kid doing some kind of stunt? He did that in the anime, right? Didn't the kid know that was completely unhelpful to his cause?

Most of the kids looked at the Hokage in confusion as he immediately set off at a brisk pace following his speech, looking grim. He wasn't most kids, though: he felt that the Hokage was probably pissed at Naruto for failing to show up for school. Seeing an empty swing swaying close to him, he snickered internally. Well hello to you, too, Swing-kun. In his past life, he'd heard from younger people that it was a big joke in the fandom that Swing-kun got more screen time than the girl with the buns.

He sat in the last row of the classroom and checked out his classmates. Yeah, this was really it: this was the precursor to where all the hell began, wasn't it? It'll only get worse from here, he worried. As Iruka-sensei - and God was seeing him, in the real, a trip - took attendance, everything was just like it must have been in canon. There were even girls - girls his age! - looking at the Uchiha kid like he was a juicy steak. Unbelievable. Do shinobi hormones activate early? What a horrible thought.

He'd have to go through puberty again, whenever it happened, and man did he NOT look forward to that...

He had a new Uchiha friend, though. He found himself seeing his older buddy, Shisui-san, more and more often over the past few months, although they never spoke for very long at all. He always felt very at peace after their conversations, though. Now that I think about it - and why haven't I realized it before this? - something seems off about that...

Iruka-sensei finished calling the role, and he felt cold at not hearing Naruto's name called. What did that mean? He started to get a little pissed off and clenched his fists. Are you fucking kidding me? I got reincarnated to the Naruto universe and there's no damn Naruto here? What the...

Leaves swirled in the air as Iruka-sensei jumped hilariously. Appearing in front of the class facing Iruka were two people: a shinobi with a senbon sticking out of his mouth, holding the shoulder of a little girl with really bright blonde hair and tan skin in what they call a bright blue with small lines of orange battle dress. The shinobi holding her shook the little girl hard, then finally poked her with his senbon.

"Gomennasai, sensei. I am Uzumaki Naruto. Please take care of me," she bowed politely before rolling her big, outrageously bright azure eyes as she turned around toward the class. She gave a slight smile to no one in particular and ducked her head before heading up the rows of desks. Sasuke Uchiha pulled his books out of the seat beside him for her to sit down next to him, immediately making her so many enemies it wasn't even funny.

"Troublesome." That was the only word to describe it - and yes, he knows he uses it way too much! But this - Naruto being a very pretty little girl - was damn troublesome and made no sense! Shikamaru sunk down in his seat, wondering what to do next.