After we left my store, we went straight to the new house. We took measurements of the windows and the flooring, along with where I wanted furniture and other things.
"my shop managers sweet on you" I blurted out.
"is she really?" he grinned.
"yeah asked if you were single" I replied, "I said I wasn't sure"
"what do you mean? You weren't sure? " he asked. "you know full well I am" he looked really confused.
"I know! I don't even know why I said ir" I said looking down at my feet.
"obviously there was a reason" he said.
"I felt jealous okay!" I shouted "I'm confused why I am jealous, but I am"
"I do" he said touching my hand, he pulled me close and kissed me gently on the lips. I pulled away in shock.
"No don't, I'm still not in the right frame of mind after the babies. And I love Juice" I said, trying to sound as convincing as I could. The question was, who was I trying to convince, him or me?
"so why say that you're jealous?" he asked, looking gutted.
"look I don't know okay? I said sternly. "now take me to the diner please and just drop the whole last 5 minute conversation will you?" I said.
We didn't say a word to each other on the drive over to the diner. We went in and I order mine and Juice's favourite. I asked Kozik if he wanted something, but he placed his order without even looking at me and paid for it himself.
When we got to TM, Juice was talking to one of the crow eaters. She was flirting with him and it hurt my heart. As soon as he saw me he completely dismissed her and walked over to me with a huge grin on his face.
"this is a nice surprise" he said, giving me a peck on the lips.
"I got you lunch, if its okay to go on your break?" I asked.
Juice turned to look at Jax who nodded and smiled at me.
Juice and I headed over to the benches and I opened up the bags handing him his lunch.
We sat down before I said anything.
"do we have a problem?" I asked.
"what do you mean?" he asked.
"you seeing her?" I said gesturing towards the crow eater.
"no for god sake. Why would you even say that?" he asked.
"I get it, I've neglected you" I said.
"Liss we have been through so much, you have had a lot to deal with. But after what happened to us why would you even say that?".
"I'm not upset I understand babe you need some comfort" I replied.
"on my babies lives I haven't even kissed another woman since the day I met you" he said getting angry.
"do you still want to be with me?" I asked.
"more than anything. I still want to marry you, live happily ever after in our home" he said.
"so today I've decided to start getting my life, well our life, back on track" I said. "I've moped about for too long, it's time to make things right"
"good babe" he replied.
"I've been and sorted what I need to do for the shop and I've been to the new house doing measurements and things"
"do you think you will feel okay to go out for some food tomorrow evening ? You know like old times" Juice asked.
"should do babe, I'd really like that to be honest" I replied.
After we ate we walked over to TM and I asked Jax for a word in the office.
"you good?" he asked.
"feeling much better today, which is why I wanted to ask if I could come back to work for a few days a week, until I'm back to my normal self" I asked.
"oh my god Liss" he said grabbing his chest " you don't understand how much I need you right now. I'm so behind on the paper work. This is music to my ears"
" I was thinking Monday Wednesday and Friday? If that's okay? " I asked.
"perfect" he smiled.
"what paperwork do you need me to do? And I'll sort it over the weekend" I said.
"liss you are an angel" he said. He came over and gave me a hug and kissed me on the head.
"calm down, surely it's bit been that bad?" I laughed.
"are you mad? I've cried every night you have been away" he laughed.
"well I will be back Monday so don't stress" I smiled.
"how are you and Juice? " he asked.
"not good but I'm working on it. I've pushed him away, I'm just hoping not to the point of no return" I replied.
"believe me you haven't. He's been so worried about you" he said.
"no I've barely seen him. He said he's been working or doing things for the club and I have a feeling he's been shagging that Pheobe" I said.
"on Abel and Thomas's life he hasn't so much as looked at another woman. I be honest with you, but you cannot tell him I've told you" he said.
"I won't go on" I replied.
"he has been using every spare minute trying to find out who did this to you. He's been to support groups too. Then he's been round Opes or mine to try and stay out of your way. Liss he loves you so much" he replied.
"I know I've been an idiot. I really do need to make things right" I replied.
We chatted for a while longer then I left.
I grabbed Juice and kissed him. "I'm coming back to work on Monday" I said
"are you sure you're ready?" he asked.
"ready as I will ever be. I'm only doing 3 days to start with" I replied.
"okay as long as you are sure babe. I love you" he smiled.
"love you more" I grinned.
"call me on your way home so I can do the steak" I said.
"sure thing babe I won't be late anyway" he smiled.
I said bye to everyone and got in the car with Kozik.
"where to now?" he said sharply.
"the new furniture store in Stockton" I replied.
The journey was mega awkward, as we didn't speak one word to each other. I put my head phones in and listened to my music.
Before we went inside, I grabbed his hand as he went to get out of the car.
"look I'm sorry" I said.
"it's not even an apology I want" he replied.
"what is it then?" I asked.
"I want you to be honest with me that's all. I get you love Juice but I know you love me too" he replied.
"I do love you, but we can only be friends. That's all its ever going to be. I love Juice and want to be with him" I said.
"so basically you have led me on" he said.
"how the hell have I led you on really?" I shouted.
"telling me that you're jealous that Trish is sweet on me" he frowned.
" I don't know why I'm jealous OKAY!" I shouted.
"well you can't expect me not to be mad because you're giving me mixed signals right now" he said.
"I don't know why I was, am, okay my heads all over the place at the moment. But I know it's Juice I want to be with and that's that" I said beginning to cry.
"Liss I'm sorry, the last thing I want is to upset you" he said rubbing my hand.
"regardless of what happens, I never want you to leave me I want you in my life" I said.
"as hard as it will be I will never leave you" he said kissing my hand.