CHAPTER 8.
GIVE AND TAKE
It had been several months since I last saw my parents. They lived in Osaka, and they didn't reach out to me very often. My mother worked at a local college as a guidance counselor, while my father managed a small firm in the city. They were both very busy, reasonably so, and neither possessed a Quirk.
Having a son with a Quirk had caught them off guard. For many years, they tried to instruct me on how to use it well. But I never could quite get it down to a science. Finally, they decided to respond to a request from the Hero Association, who offered to provide me with the greatest education possible for my Quirk, since it had 'great potential.' It was an offer parents like mine would not refuse.
If I had any say in it, I would have refused.
But then I thought I'd accomplish something. Along the way, I found sparks of hope and optimism. I started to feel good when I achieved checkpoints. My confidence and health improved numerous times. And my friendship with Tsuyu had gotten me through the worst nights.
Now I had left that... to try something else. And I continued to doubt whether or not my decision was the right one.
When I met with the League of Villains, I didn't actually meet with them. Instead, Himiko brought me into a room stocked with monitors, and the villains interviewed me from different locations. That proved that Himiko really did know details about my Quirk, because they revealed to me that I couldn't use my Infatuation on people if they weren't nearby. Since the villains were on the screens, instead of there in person, I couldn't use my power on them.
Their leader was a man named Tomura Shigaraki. I still hadn't gotten the chance to meet with him yet, but I heard about him. I met several other villains from the league, though, and they seemed to hold my Quirk in high praise.
In the days that passed, I was unsatisfied. Overall, I felt like I was being brought around simply for my Quirk to be exploited.
One day, I decided to bring it up with Himiko. At least, I'd find some sort of answer to my latest dilemma if I confronted her. Before she was willing to answer me, she insisted that I take her out on a date. Reluctantly, I played along for the time being. Apparently, Himiko wasn't interested in doing much during the daytime. She was nocturnal, so once the sun had already set, the two of us took a train into Tokyo.
Once we were in town, we both boarded the water bus that would take us down the Sumida River. Even in the cold weather, Himiko was wearing her signature schoolgirl outfit, although I couldn't ever picture her attending school in any fashion. Even when I advised her to bring warm clothes, she just insisted that I would lend her my coat if she got cold.
Eventually, the water bus got moving, and the two of us were sitting in the back, overlooking the rail to the churning water in the dark shadows of a Spring evening. Things were strangely peaceful, to the point where even Himiko was soft and quiet, sitting next to me and watching the water. I couldn't imagine what thoughts were dancing around in her head, but I was constantly wondering.
"So," I said, being the one to break our silence from the past half an hour. "You promised to tell me what you know about my Quirk."
She rolled her eyes and stretched her arms over his shoulders. "Aw, come on. If I told you everything, it would spoil all the intrigue. Really, when I do explain it, it's going to sound boring."
Despite her reluctance, I crossed my arms in stern fashion. Nothing was going to change my mind about this.
She seemed to detect that right away, and with a giggle she turned and faced me, pressing her kneecaps against mine as we huddled close together, making sure to keep our volume down. "Your Quirk affects the brains of other people," she began. "You need to be in range of other people for it to work. And you need to be able to send signals directly to their brain via at least one of the five senses."
Apparently, she hadn't been exaggerating. There was a lot of science to it. And this was still just the surface. "You're saying that my Quirk works on people if they hear me, or see me, or… just one of the senses?"
"Yes, Eko-Chan. You send your brainwaves to them through the senses. And people receive that information and process it. That infects the brain with the Infatuation."
I thought back to Professor Aizawa. How come he was unable to deactivate my Quirk? "Eraserhead," I said out loud. "He told me he was turning off my Quirk before."
"That meanie," Himiko said with a laugh. "His power works when he looks at you. Therefore, he has to interact with you from his senses. Thus, your body has a split second to infect him with Infatuation." After explaining that, he smiled excitedly. "That means your Quirk automatically protects you at all times from potential threats. And every time Eraserhead uses his Quirk on you, the Infatuation will influence him to just blink and immediately return you back to normal."
The more she explained, the more it all added up. But I had more to ask. "But what is my Quirk made of? Just signals?"
Himiko sighed, gently reached for my hands. Although I suspected she was trying to distract me from my goal, I granted her request. But she smiled in mischievous fashion, as she often did. "Do you like me, Eko-Chan?"
If this was how things were going to be, it wasn't going to be easy extracting the information from her. But I had to be patient. If she was convinced that I was going to stay on their side, then she would be more likely to give me genuine information. Therefore, I had to play ball. "Yes."
"Aw," she said with a laugh. "Come on now. No need to just tell me what I want to hear."
Apparently, I had failed to grasp what she had in mind.
"When you like someone, your brain tells you." Himiko shook her head, causing her hair to swing back and forth. Some of the curls made contact with my face, causing me to wince in slight confusion. "You get excited. It's a total rush! That's because your brain is producing dopamine, which tells your body that you're excited."
It was definitely unexpected hearing a science lecture from Himiko Toga, but she seemed to have figured out a way of explaining this in her own style.
"Your Quirk is Infatuation. And you get it to work on people by juicing them with artificial levels of Dopamine."
"Wait. What? Really?" I truly wondered how no doctors I met with could give me that answer… yet Himiko and the League of Villains knew it. To me, that was a red flag. It seemed impossible for them to have that knowledge.
"It's true," she insisted anyway. "But like all Quirks, there is a drawback. You're taking dopamine away from yourself and sending it to other people. Therefore, you're draining yourself of pleasure."
Despite all my skepticism, this concept immediately became a picture in my mind. As I revisited all my experiences surrounding my Quirk ever since I was diagnosed with it, this description made absolutely perfect sense. That summed up exactly how I felt all the time.
"How… is that possible?"
She appeared to sympathize with my confusion, and she gave my hands a reassuring squeeze. "You can't make something out of nothing. All that pleasure has to come from somewhere, Eko-Chan. You're making people grow infatuated with you, but to do so, you have to rid yourself of any desires of your own." Suddenly, her voice was soft and emphatic, different than her normally mocking tone. "In other words, you are unable to have a balanced loving relationship with other people. Your Quirk will always interfere. That is… so long as you don't understand how to control it."
"And the League of Villains wants to help me with that?" I squinted closely at her face, seeking to distinguish any ill intent. "You want to help me?"
"You don't believe me?" She asked in a squeaky voice.
"No, I don't." Even with all the information she shared, I didn't see how a group of villains could possibly have my interests in mind. Surely, they wanted to exploit me for their evil plans, as villains were always known to do. Just because they provided me with answers, didn't mean they really gave a damn about me.
"I confess that I already knew who you were back at the ice rink," she explained calmly. "I was given orders to find you. But if you think I'm simply a drone who gets ordered around, you're going to realize how wrong that is. The truth is that no one orders me around. I only do what I want to do."
"More specifically… I do things because of the pleasure I get."
Of course, pleasure wasn't a driving force in my life, so I wasn't going to be able to empathize with that. But I had to try. "You would get pleasure in helping me? Come on, Himiko. There must be something you want from me. Something more specific and measurable. Why can't you just be honest with me?"
"Because you won't believe me, no matter what I tell you," she replied, glancing away as if she were holding back laughter. "That's why I'd rather show you. But you want me to tell you all the answers, instead. That's not any fun."
"Fine then. One more question." At this point, there really was only one other thing on my mind that I needed to know. "You said you and the League of Villains could 'outwit' my Quirk. Tell me what you meant when saying that?"
Another little cackle from her fanged smile. "The other villains are afraid of you, Eko-Chan. You have a very powerful Quirk. That's why they don't want to meet with you in person."
"But you don't seem to mind," I pointed out the obvious. "Therefore, you must have figured something out."
"Why would I be afraid of something as exhilarating as Infatuation?" Her face lit up after she mentioned it. "Maybe you keep on misunderstanding me. I'm not trying to tell you anything. I'm just trying to show you how to have pleasure. And if you stopped and gave it some thought… you'd realize that I get pleasure from spending time with you." She wrapped up her explanation with a lick of her tongue over her lower lip.
Somehow, that made me remember the nip on my ear from my first time meeting her. And the blood from the bite mark. The blood.
"Your Quirk. Transform. You transform into people if you've ingested their blood."
"Duh," she answered with a grin.
"So, when you take in my blood… you must be taking in some sort of resistance to my Quirk as well."
"I can still feel your Quirk giving me pressure," she admitted, her cheeks glowing red. "It's hard to resist your charm. But I can resist it to some degree, thanks to your blood."
"Let's get off the water bus and walk down the Ryōgoku Bridge together." It was like she completely dropped the previous subject.
Minutes later, we were off the water bus and at the bridge. It was later in the evening now, and there weren't too many cars driving by. For the most part it was just the two of us. We didn't stop until we made it to the exact center of the bridge, and then Himiko led me over to the railing and we peered over it, down into the river below.
"So, tell me, Eko-Chan. Are you 'infatuated' with me?"
"Did you already forget the part where I drain myself in order to affect others?"
"If you keep your heart closed," she commented, almost muttering it. There appeared to be some subtle frustration in her tone.
I thought about Professor Aizawa. Eraserhead. He told me he was deactivating my Quirk during training exercises at school. But now, I learned that deactivating my Quirk was impossible. I had felt my power working on Bakugo during the challenge that day. Everything I felt previously turned out to be true. I believed Himiko Toga. I believed everything.
"Look, Himiko. I'm glad you told me about how my Quirk works."
Her response was simply to grin at me, with a vampiric look in her eyes. Now that she switched over to being quieter, she was actually pleasant to look at, although there was still a hint of horror from not knowing what she had planned next. Her reason and madness were like a couple dancing between a waltz and the tango.
"This Quirk has brought me nothing but problems. Trust me when I tell you, it's not worth it."
My firm statement seemed to resonate with her. Himiko's eyes widened for a moment, and then she squinted, and lost the will to respond with jest. "You can't help what you want, Eko-Chan. Once you decide that you do want something, you'll experience that."
"If you say so."
"You've already have tried using your Quirk on me. I felt it happening."
"If I did, it wasn't intentional."
"You're going to need to learn how to control it," she reminded me. "But don't worry. I'm going to help you the entire time."
Oddly enough, Tsuyu returned to my mind. She had been the one helping me with my Quirk before. Only now, it felt like I had betrayed her loyalty and friendship by associating with the villains. However, it was also the first time I really got the answers I needed, and I couldn't just disregard that.
"All right." My decision was made. "I'll accept your help. But if you're really going to help me, then I need to do something in return for you."
"Ooh! That sounds like fun." Himiko was back to her old self. "Anything I want?"
"Within reason," I added with a slight shrug.
"Okay, Eko-Chan." She spun around, leaning against the railing by her elbows, facing me with lustful yellow eyes. "All I want from you… is to get to know you better."
It was a strangely simple request. On the surface, I had no reason to say no. But it was obvious that this term had bigger implications than she was letting on. Then again, there was this nearly tangible element of trust between us. Something about our journey here tonight made it seem conceivable that we had that kind of bond. As long as I had my Quirk, she would be the one risking the disadvantage anyway. In fact, she was the only member of the League of Villains willing to even interact with me in person.
With that, I approached her, looking right into her eyes. As I got closer, Himiko blushed madly, yet she maintained her pose. Even when I pressed up against her chest, she was still grinning with twisted delight. I didn't have the slightest idea on what to do next, or how to deal with her. But I was drawn in all the same.
This time, Himiko didn't feel the need to hold back. She reached for me and pulled me hard against her, then locked her lips against mine. We kissed in aggressive fashion, me mostly defending myself from her attacks. At some points, her kisses turned into biting, and I had to maneuver from her fangs. Despite the fact that I lacked her passion, I stayed on the ride anyway, willing to see where it took me.
The night brought many answers, as I had hoped. But once again, more questions rose up as well. Maybe I was making a mistake… but that night I felt like I made the right decision. That night, at least.