Chapter 8 - Seagulls and Sticks
DISCLAIMER: We (unfortunately) do not own Star Wars. :P
Author's Note: Chaos with the Trio and Collette... and Yoda stops by. ;)
~ Amina Gila
Down to the beach, I'm strollin'. But the seagulls poke at my head!
Ahsoka snorts. "Seriously? Seagulls?"
Colette chuckles. "It's called 'Seagulls: Stop it now' for a reason."
The group continues watching the recording Artoo is playing, expressions ranging everywhere from shocked to disbelieving. Yes, this was definitely a good choice for comic relief from the stressful events of the day.
Everyone told me not to stroll on that beach. Said 'seagulls gonna come poke me in the coconut' and then they did.
"What even is a coconut?" Ahsoka asks between laughter.
"A body part of Yoda's species to be sure," offers Obi-Wan.
"Want to ask him?" teases Colette.
"I wouldn't recommend that," Anakin warns.
Nothin' I could do but yell when these birds attacked me
"Why not just use the Force?" Anakin wonders.
"No idea. Maybe he was too young to know how?" Colette shrugs.
Show you some dance moves!
"Yoda dances?" cries Ahsoka, trying not to laugh.
No I don't want you to!
"Good call," Obi-Wan states dryly.
Artoo beeps unhappily at the point in the video Yoda starts beating him up.
"I can be your backpack while you run! Swing from a hair vine, I can be your backpack while you climb!"
"That's literally Yoda to every youngling," Ahsoka chuckles. "Never tell him I said that."
"I think that's why they made him say that in the video," Colette snorts.
And I was like 'That log had a child!'
"I think the child of that log is his stick," Collette snickers.
Listen boy, someday when you are older you could get hit by a boulder
"And I still wonder what kind of warning that's supposed to be," Anakin informs.
"Are there more of these?" Obi-Wan asks as the recording finishes playing, and they somewhat manage to calm down.
"There's another one of Yoda called My Stick that Artoo recorded," Collette offers, "And there was a few more... which I didn't record," she adds upon second thought. She probably should have, but she'd always found the ones about Yoda the funniest.
"How about I join you?"
"How about you don't?"
"I still think that was the best idea," Anakin decides flatly.
"Did Yoda really just burn everyone at the party to death?" Obi-Wan cries as Yoda brings down a lightning bolt, starting the building on fire.
"I dunno. Probably?" Colette shrugs, unable to suppress her laughter.
"Knock you in the head with my stick! With my stick! You gonna have a mark from my stick!"
"Literally Master Yoda to everyone," chirps Ahsoka.
"You can't touch my stick."
"I don't wanna!"
"Yeah, you want my stick."
"How would he know that?" Ahsoka asks, mystified.
"Don't ask, or you'll learn it's wrath," giggles Collette.
"Thunk your coconut with my stick!"
"I guess that answers what Yoda considers a 'coconut'," decides Obi-Wan as Yoda hits Luke in the face again and again.
"My stick is my friend, born from a log."
"Maybe that's why he always carries it with him," ventures Anakin.
"Don't you like my stick?!"
"I don't think anyone does," Anakin deadpans.
"My stick and me take walks everyday! Past the hooligans down by the ocean."
"There's an ocean on Coruscant?" Ahsoka queries rhetorically.
"When they laugh at my stick then they learn how my stick is much denser than bacon."
"I don't doubt it," Collette mumbles.
"I disappear for years then reappear right here to cheer about my cool stick!" Artoo beeps angrily upon seeing the flash back to Yoda hitting him.
"When I was a little itty bitty kid," Yoda says before the scene suddenly flips to a picture of Baby Yoda.
Ahsoka half-shrieks, half-squeals. "That's what he looked like when he was young?"
Colette grins at her reaction. "Probably, I don't know. It's a picture of another creature the same species who's like... five or so. Well, fifty in their terms but whatever."
"I could make you wish you couldn't feel pain!"
"And you told me he was a Jedi," mutters Obi-Wan.
"I poke my bruise sometimes cause I like how it hurts. It hurts good."
"He gets bruises?" Ahsoka laughs.
"Apparently," grins Colette. "Though I suppose it shouldn't exactly be surprising." But still, the very thought of the said Jedi Master getting bruises is funny for some reason.
"Anyway, you probably should be going to bed soon," Anakin tells his padawan.
"Probably," agrees Ahsoka, standing up, "Are you coming?"
"Not yet. We have some things to discuss first," Anakin decides, "With Collette."
"I knew you were just trying to get rid of me," huffs Ahsoka.
"I was not," protests Anakin.
"Well, I must speak to the Council tomorrow about what Collette's told us," Obi-Wan says. She decides not to interject that she did not, in fact, tell Anakin 90% of it.
"Fine," she grumbles, heading out of the apartment.
"So, what do we need to discuss?" questions Collette from her perch on one of the pillows on the couch, suddenly feeling very tiny again now that they aren't just goofing around.
"Well, I've been thinking," Anakin says first thing. "The Council can hardly act in taking down Sidious unless they have real evidence. We need to find some."
"Precisely," agrees Obi-Wan, "And at this point we don't have any leads at all. Do you have any recommendations?"
Collette frowns. "Umm... Maybe we should try to get a recording of something? I don't really know. He's very careful in covering his tracks, so anything we try could end up being quite risky."
"Sneak a recording device into his office or something?" Anakin asks dubiously.
"I don't think things will be that simple," Obi-Wan replies.
"Well, I don't know," sighs Collette, "Though spying in his apartment would probably be more effective."
"Just the job for a tiny person," Anakin teases, "Except that you'd have to be able to use the Force to shield yourself, and that's not exactly possible."
"I wasn't exactly volunteering anyway," she mumbles. Getting anywhere near Sidious when she's this size is the last thing in the world she would want to do. What if he stepped on her? If he realized someone knew who he was or at least was beginning to suspect, he would stop at no end to eliminate the person, and Colette has no desire of ending up on the receiving end of Sidious's wrath.
"Just be warned that he's like one of the most powerful Sith Lords ever," she adds, "And I'm certain he would have sensed something in the Force when I ended up here, so he's already going to be on guard. He's excessively paranoid and has contingency plans for literally everything imaginable."
"That's encouraging," Obi-Wan informs her.
"I doubt he had one for tiny people dimension crossing and foretelling the future," Anakin comments.
"You know what I mean," she grumbles. Their conversation is suddenly interrupted by a knocking on the door.
"It appears Master Yoda has decided to pay us a visit," observes Obi-Wan as he goes to check who's at the door.
Artoo whistles. "No, I highly doubt he's coming here to hit you with his stick," Anakin replies, before looking down at Colette. "Stay out of sight," he warns, and she hastily slides off the pillow to hide in the darkness behind it. The pillow muffles a startled yelp as she lands in a heap on the couch cushion. Well, this is going to be interesting.
She can't resist peaking around the edge of the pillow as Obi-Wan opens the door to let the Grandmaster inside. She can hardly believe that she's seriously seeing him for real. For that matter, she can hardly believe that any of this is real.
"A disturbance in the Force, I have sensed," Yoda says as a way of greeting as he hobbles into the room, his stick thunking on the floor. Why does he use that thing anyway? He can walk just fine. "Centered around you, it is."
Anakin and Obi-Wan seem at a momentary loss for words. "A small life form, I sense," Yoda remarks, raising a hand. The pillow Collette's is hiding behind promptly lifts into the air, earning a startled, half-panicked squeal from her.
"Anakin brought her here," Obi-Wan explains. "He may or may not have brought her back as a relic from his trip to a different dimension."
"Hey!" Anakin protests, glaring at his former master. Colette snorts.
"A different dimension, you say?" murmurs Yoda, obviously amused by the situation. He's the only one. The other two Jedi are clearly feeling very awkward, and Colette is doing her best not to squirm. She never really expected to meet the Jedi Grandmaster, who she does have a fair amount of respect for, even though she definitely does not agree with all his decisions.
"While he was there, Anakin discovered some important information about the future," Obi-Wan says after a long moment of silence. "I was intending to speak to the Council in the morning about it."
"Always in motion, the future is," reminds Yoda, tapping his stick on the floor.
"Thunk your coconut with my stick," Colette blurts out. Anakin bursts out laughing, and Obi-Wan struggles in vain to keep a smile from inching onto his face. It takes her a moment to realize she'd just said that out loud. Seriously, what has happened to her brain? Has coming to a different dimension really made her lose all sense. Did she really have to embarrass herself in front of all of them?
Yoda stares at Colette for a moment until she just wants to squirm. It's almost like he's staring right through here. She's pretty sure his expression is going from slightly confused to curious, but it's hard to tell. Not like reading a Jedi Master of a totally different species is easy.
For a moment his expression flickers to amusement – and she's quite certain he just saw in her mind what they're all laughing about. She's almost glad she's so tiny for a second. It's much easier to make yourself feel invisible. "In the future, what did you see?" Yoda inquires finally, breaking the awkward silence that's fallen over the room.
"Dooku's Sith Master Sidious is in control of the Senate," Obi-Wan say after a brief pause. Of course, he doesn't want to just dump everything on him right away. "He is the Chancellor."
The Grandmaster doesn't look particularly startled. "Hm... Sensed the Dark Side of the Force surrounding him, I did," he murmurs at last.
"He intends to destroy the Jedi and create a Sith Empire," Obi-Wan continues.
"Disturbing this is," he says after a long moment, "More, is there?"
"No," Anakin says finally. Of course, he wouldn't want to mention anything to Yoda about him becoming Sidious's apprentice. Colette definitely does not blame him for that. She wouldn't say a word about it either in his place.
"Discuss this with the rest of the Council in the morning, we shall," the Grandmaster decides, before turning and hobbling out the door.