Warning: None. Rated T.

A/N: PrincessAlica – I would have to agree with you. Mark has—and always will be—my favorite GA character. Shonda and I have that in common.

Thanks again for the constant love. I will tell you…after today's chapter…we are down to two left for this story. I know…I'm sorry.

This chapter's song title is "Let it Go" by James Bay

Chapter 8 – Let it Go

Present Day – Seattle Grace-Mercy West Hospital (1 week since rescued from the crash)

Mark blinked as his eyes opened. His eyelashes fluttered open and closed quickly as he tried to adjust to the light after so long having been accustomed to the darkness. He tried not to resist against the tube in his mouth, but now that he was awake, breathing on his own came as second nature.

"Mark!"

He blinked again, his eyes turning towards the voice. A voice that was all wrong. It wasn't the voice that was in his dreams, the voice that was always in his head.

"Hang on, let me get help."

He couldn't respond if he wanted too, but he watched Julia ran from the room, only to come back seconds later with Jackson and two nurses. He was glad to see his plastics protégé again, Jackson's own face lighting up in relief to see him awake.

Jackson made quick work in removing the tube from him, and doing his quick check of his vitals. "Welcome back," he said, with a grin. "Do you know who you are?"

"Mark Sloan, Chief of Plastic Surgery at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital," he answered through his cracked voice. "Water."

Jackson filled the cup of water and handed it over to him. "Do you know where you are or why you are here?"

He knew the questions were necessary to determine his cognizant awareness. He shifted in his bed a bit, trying to stretch his muscles after having remained still for how long, he didn't know.

"I imagine if I am seeing your handsome face, I am back in Seattle after the plane crash." He paused, his eyes going wide. "Everyone else? Is everyone else, ok?"

"There good," Jackson replied. "Still working through some injuries, but everyone is doing ok," he reassured.

Mark nodded, and for the first time since he opened his eyes, turned his head, and remembered that Julia—his girlfriend—had been standing in his room when he had come back to his consciousness.

Her eyes lit up when he looked over at her, her arms hugged tightly across her chest as she brought her hand up to wipe tears away from her eyes. He grimaced inwardly, wondering what she must've been feeling while he had been unconscious. He felt even worse that during the entire circumstances of the plane going down, the crash, and the aftermath that she hadn't once come across his mind. It had all been about Lexie.

Even his waking up just now. He was ashamed that while she was standing here crying over him, the first thing he was hoping to see when his eyes opened was Lexie Grey. To ensure that she was ok and that she was safe.

He felt even more like a snake now, that recognizing all of this, he was going to make things worse by doing what he knew he needed to do. Julia was a lovely woman. Maybe—had things been different—if it were another life where Lexie Grey hadn't existed, they could have been happy. He would have been happy. In a world where Lexie Grey existed, there was no other option for him, but her.

"I'm so glad your awake," she said, her lips curving into a smile.

Jackson cleared his throat. "Your vitals look good. Any pain or discomfort?"

"I'm fine," he replied. "I trust you held things down here while I was away?"

Jackson laughed. "Better than you," he teased. His eyes clocked Julia, and then he looked back to Mark. "I'll give you two a couple of minutes. I need to go update the Chief who will probably want a word once he knows your awake."

"Thanks, Avery."

He turned and left the room, and he knew at that moment there was no longer an option in waiting to put this conversation off. It had already been too long since this conversation should have happened.

He had wrestled with the idea of breaking up with her before he had left. He had kept telling himself that if Lexie had turned him down that at least he could still be happy with Julia. She would, could, give him everything that he wanted.

Even as he got on to the plane to Boise to perform the surgery on the twins, he knew that was a lie. Even if Lexie turned him down, ran away from him again, the fact that he was so willingly able to run back towards Lexie without a thought, made him realize that though even he and Julia could be happy, what they had wasn't love.

He told Arizona and Callie that he was taking things slow, and that was why he hadn't been ready to say that he was in love with Julia. Even as Julia was willing to offer him everything he wanted—that he contemplated that he was willing to impregnate her—he still couldn't as hard as he tried, say that anything he was feeling was love for her. It wasn't fair to him, but it mostly wasn't fair to her.

"I missed you," she said, coming to stand next to his bed, her hand outstretching to push his hair back from his forehead. "I was so worried about you. When I got the call…" her voice trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

"I'm sorry."

She shrugged, but her smile was a comforting one now that she knew he was awake and stable. His chest still ached considerably, but no longer the agonizing pain back in the woods. He was grateful for that at least.

"Julia, we need to talk."

He heard the sound of his own voice dip lower at uttering the words. It was that tone that was mixed with anxiousness and dryness that the next words that would be coming out of his mouth, were likely words that the person they were being said too, wouldn't like them. On top of the fact that he had already used the proverbial phrase that generally resulted in a breakup.

"Um, okay," she said, a little of her enthusiasm dropping. "I'm here for you, Mark. I'm always here for you."

He winced. Julia thought it was because of his injuries, but it was more because he hated that he was going to do what he was about to do. She deserved better than him. He decided it was best if he just came out with it like he was ripping off a band aid.

"I love Lexie," he admitted.

She shook her head as if she thought she misheard him, but then he saw the signs of what every doctor was trained to see in stressful and even in some—most cases—lost causes. The denial. The light that had been in her eyes hadn't fully returned, but a forced smile took its place.

"Of course, you love Lexie. And Arizona, Derek, Meredith, and even Yang. It's why you didn't even care about yourself while you made sure the rest of them were safe," she replied.

He closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, he saw the water starting to form at the back of her eyes. She was trying to convince herself otherwise, but she was smart. She knew that would not be the case.

"No, Julia, I love Lexie. The love I feel for my best friend, and my work family is nothing compared to what I feel for her. She's, my soulmate."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you saying this?" she whispered.

"Because it's the truth and you deserve the truth," he replied.

She wiped at her eyes again, tightening her arms across her chest. "You...you just went through a traumatic event. You're confused. You just need some time to get back and settled in, to remember... remember that you two didn't work, and that you and I were happy together."

"I don't need time, Julia. This isn't a spur of the moment decision. I'm sorry."

Her expression transformed into the next visible stage of grief. Anger. "Why are you doing this? Why are you throwing a good thing away? We care about each other. We love each other," she exclaimed.

He hated having to do this to her. It was like kicking a dog when it was down. He was already hurting her enough, and he didn't want to have to do that any further. Sometimes, even the cleanest break didn't make it hurt any less.

"I love Lexie," he repeated. His expression was doleful as he looked back into her eyes. "I have always loved Lexie. I will always love Lexie. That isn't fair to you."

Her face turned nonplussed. The anger returned. "And when she runs again because she will, Mark, what then? You would've already thrown away this. Us. Someone who has stood by you. Someone who loves you, and wants to give you everything that you've ever wanted. What then?"

"Then it's my cross to bear," he answered.

She shook her head and turned away. "How could you do this to me?" she asked.

"I never meant for this to happen."

"Oh, please," she interjected. "You just told me you loved her, always loved her, and will always love her. You don't get to tell me that you didn't mean for this to happen," she snapped.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you," he expressed with great sorrow.

She wiped away another tear, this time more violently. "Well, you did. You have." She paused. He could tell she was trying to hold back her damn of tears. "I need to know one thing. Can you answer me this one thing honestly?" He nodded mutely. "Did you ever love me? At all."

He shifted uncomfortably in the hospital bed, not because he was afraid to answer the question, but because he knew it would only bring her more grief and sadness. He swallowed slowly, before blowing out a breath. "I'm sorry, Julia…but no."

A few more streams of tears fell from her eyes. "Because you love Lexie," she guessed.

"Because I love Lexie," he confirmed.

He waited while she processed the information. She turned back to the chair where her purse and jacket were sitting, and picked them up in her hands. "I guess there is really nothing left for us to discuss," she said.

"I'm—"

"Please don't," she cut in. "I don't want to keep hearing how sorry you are. Mostly, because I know you mean it and mostly because it will take away some of the anger that I so want to hold on to in this moment," she said.

"Someone will be lucky to have you."

Her lips pursed. "They will. That's your loss, Mark Sloan."

He didn't say anything, because deep down even though Julia was a good woman and he believed that she would make some man happy someday, he was sure that losing her for Lexie wasn't a loss. That made him the snake he felt like he currently was in this situation.

"Good-bye, Mark."

She turned and walked out of his room.

Lexie rushed from the exam room with Callie after her page from Meredith. All she referenced in the page was a "911" and "Mark." She hated that her mind immediately went to the worst thing imaginable.

"What? What is it?" Lexie said pushing her hair from her face, as she came to a halt in front of Meredith.

Meredith broke out into a grin. "Mark's awake."

Lexie sighed, finally feeling like she could breathe for the first time in a couple of weeks. "He's awake. Really awake?"

"Yes," Meredith answered.

"How are his vitals? Is he ok? Is he in any pain? Is—"

"Lexie," Meredith interjected. "He's just fine."

She brought her hand to her cheek, trying to get her breathing back under control. "Thanks. I can't wait to go in and see him."

"Lexie, wait!"

She turned back. "What?"

"It's best that you don't go in there right now," Meredith said hesitantly.

Her brows knitted together, and she could tell that something was wrong. That her sister was keeping something from her. "What aren't you telling me?" she searched her sister's face seeing if she would give anything away. It was useless, since her big sister was the queen of keeping her emotions under lock and key when she really wanted too. "Mer, please…just tell me," she pleaded. "It's amnesia. He has amnesia, doesn't he?" Both her expression and voice turned panicked.

Meredith reached out and placed her hand on her sister's shoulder. "Lexie. Mark is fine. He does not have amnesia."

"Oh, thank god," she replied, her hand coming to her forehead.

Meredith cleared her throat. "It's Julia. She was here, in his room when he woke up."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Jackson said as soon as he woke up the tension seemed a little palpable. He wanted to give them privacy for a chat."

Lexie looked down the hall towards Mark's room. She was itching to go in there and see him. She missed his blue eyes, cocky grin, and inappropriate comments and jokes. She just missed him.

"I guess, I can wait a little longer," she said.

"How's your arm?"

"Good. No surgery and healing properly. How's your leg?"

"Good, and healing properly too. No damage," Meredith answered.

"Derek's surgery still scheduled for later today?"

Meredith nodded. "More than ready. He can't wait to get back to surgery. I think Mark waking up just made the day even better. Feeling like we are all getting back to a normalcy. You know."

She nodded. "I know."

"Well, I have to scrub in on a surgery. Are you going to be, ok?"

"Of course. Have fun in surgery."

Meredith turned and walked away. Lexie moved closer down the hall, until she was able to peer around the corner into Mark's room. Julia was at Mark's bedside, her hand stroking his forehead. Mark looked uncomfortable, and she felt sick inside for him, because she knew it was going to be painful for him to have that conversation, especially after just waking up from a coma in the last couple of weeks.

Present Day – Seattle Grace-Mercy West Hospital (6 days since rescued from the crash)

"I thought I would find you in here," Jackson said, as he came into Mark's hospital room.

Lexie had been occupying the chair next to his bed, her hand holding onto his. She released his hand, and dropped her blanket as she sat up. "Everything ok?" she asked, rubbing at her eyes.

Night had fallen again, but between trying to keep up rotation and cases and visiting Mark with any free time she had, she still wasn't getting the proper sleep needed. At least she had already met with the required psychologist and had been cleared to return back to work.

"Everything's fine," he assured. "I just thought you could use a friend."

She shot him a smile. "I'm fine."

"Yeah, I figured you would say that," he said, pulling the vacant chair from the corner of the room, and placed it next to her so he could sit.

He reached into his lab coat and pulled out a handful of peanut butter cups and placed them on the rolling medical tray in front of them. She looked at the single wrapped pieces of chocolaty goodness, smiled, and looked back to him.

"You remembered."

He sighed. "I remembered. Although, I should probably tell you…the only reason I knew about your stress eating and talking about your feelings was because of Mark in the first place."

Her eyes flickered to his in wonder. "What do you mean?"

Jackson took one of the peanut butter cups, unwrapping the tin foil and plopped it into his mouth. "Do you remember when your dad showed up at the hospital and he was sick? He brought his new young girlfriend with him?"

Lexie snorted. "Oh, yeah. I was so awful towards her." she recalled.

"Mark had tried to be there for you, but it was right after Callie got pregnant and you were still pissed as hell at him. You said you didn't have the ability or the time to deal with your dad and him at the same time," he explained. She looked over at him and he smiled. "He was still so worried about you. Wanted to know how he could help, but knew you wouldn't talk to him, so he sent me instead."

She bit her lip. "He did?"

"He did," he confirmed. "Told me that if I got you to eat chocolate it would calm you down and you would tell me what was on your mind. I told him that I was doing it for him, but…"

"But you liked me," she guessed.

"Now who's a terrible person," he declared.

"No, you're not. We had good times together Jackson. We weren't meant to be, but we still had good times," she said.

He picked up another two chocolates, this time handing her one. She smiled as she took it, both of them unwrapping them and plopping them in their mouths at the same time.

"We did have some good times. I like to think back and know that maybe for both of us, at that time, we were what each other needed," he mused.

She finished chewing her chocolate, swallowed, and licked her lips. "It was a good distraction for a while," she agreed.

They say they're in silence for a minute, both looking at Mark's sleeping form before she reached and grabbed them both another chocolate handing one to him.

"Even then, when you had been hurting about the fact that you thought he left you behind again, you were still in love with him."

He turned to look at her, and she met his gaze. "Yes," she said softly. "I tried not too…but…" she laughed and he looked at her expectantly. She plopped the chocolate in her mouth. "I told him before the crash that he was like a disease. That I'd been infected by Mark Sloan. I'm not really sure there is a cure."

"It's nice…what you two have together. It's real. It's inspiring to know that that kind of true love can exist out there. I'm happy for you both," he said sincerely.

She grabbed another chocolate and when he went to take it from her hand, she held onto it a little tighter. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied, taking the candy from her hand.

"So, you going to tell me what is really happening between you and April?" she asked.

She arched her brow when he was about to deny that anything was going on, but then he told her everything that had happened since the crash. That when they had gone for the boards, they had gotten drunk—not wasted where they couldn't remember or make decisions without understanding the necessary repercussions—and ended up sleeping together.

"Is it wrong that I want to keep doing it?" he asked. "I mean it's April. She's my best friend."

"It's probably why you want to keep doing it," she considered. "She's your best friend. The person that knows you best. Sometimes, you get lucky and it's not just your friend, but the person your meant to be with."

"Whoa, we aren't you and Mark," he rebutted, the expression in his features suddenly making him want to change the subject.

Lexie placed her hand on his knee, stopping it from going up and down like a jackhammer. "It's written all over your face this isn't just about sleeping around." As he looked at her, his face betrayed the emotions he wanted to display. Her mouth fell slightly open. "You love her."

Jackson held her gaze, before grabbing another chocolate from their rapidly dwindling pile. "It doesn't matter. She was a virgin, and now upset that she is no longer a virgin, and even though she has feelings for me and wants what I want, she is going to run. Ignore what is right in front of her."

Lexie smiled to herself as she looked back down at Mark's sleeping form. "Do you remember what you told me when you broke up with me?"

"Yes."

She recanted it for him anyway. "You had called me out because you still knew there was this thing between me and Mark, no matter how much both of us tried to say there wasn't. You—and I—ignored it for weeks even though it was there. I still even tried to deny it when you put it right in my face. Do you remember what you said?"

"That I was having a really hard time believing you that something wasn't there. That it wasn't going to go away anytime soon."

"That's right. You told me you had spent too much time sabotaging your career, and by being with me was making you step away from cases that you wanted to work on because those cases centered around Mark. You asked me if I could tell you, it shouldn't."

"You said nothing," he remembered.

"I said nothing. Because if I had, it would have been a lie, and you and I both knew that. We both knew it wouldn't have changed anything." She paused. "Is letting April run away from what you two feel, going to change anything?"

He sighed. "No."

She grinned. "Can you tell me that if you let her go without trying, that what you feel isn't going to go anywhere…anytime soon?"

He turned towards her, and shot her an exasperated look. "I know what you are doing."

"Can you tell me, any reason you shouldn't try?"

He picked the final two pieces of chocolate off the tray. "Eat your candy."

She laughed as she took the peanut butter cup from his hand. "You know I'm right," she teased.

He laughed. "Right. Just like you threw that ball at Mark's girlfriend's chest because she was trying to steal second base."

She gasped, but even as she met his gaze, they broke out into laughter. "I still feel horrible about that."

"It was a damn good throw," he stated.

"I was a pitcher in school," she confessed.

"Man, she never would have known it was coming."

They laughed and settled in and talked about other cases and other things. It was the first time she felt a little more at ease, and was happy to be back and friendly with Jackson. She was glad to have her friend back.

Present Day – Seattle Grace-Mercy West Hospital (1 week since rescued from the crash)

Lexie hadn't meant to stand outside of Mark's room listening to the entire conversation between him and Julia. No, that was a lie. She hadn't meant too, but she wanted too. So, she had.

Before she could turn away, knowing their conversation was coming to an end, Julia had stormed out of Mark's room and they had come face to face.

"Dr. Grey. Not surprised that I would be seeing you out here," she said, her tone icy and irritated.

"Hi, Julia."

She shoved her arms through her coat with a determined purpose, before putting the strap of her purse up on her shoulder. "Can I just ask you one question?" Lexie nodded mutely. "When I came in here earlier and you saw how upset I was, and you let me go on and on about my feelings for Mark…was that to have fun at my expense?"

Her eyebrows rose, her pulse beating in her ears, as a flush rose to her cheeks. "No. I would never—"

"No, you would just lead me to believe that there was nothing go on between you two, when clearly there had been right under my nose," Julia chimed back in.

"It wasn't like that," Lexie defended. "Mark was completely loyal to you. I feel horrible, I do, but I will not apologize for loving him."

"Love him?" she challenged. "You had your chance to love him. You walked away from him. None once, but twice. That's not love. He's so hung up on you that he can't see your nothing but toxic for him. When you hurt him again—because that's all you know how to do—this time he won't have me to give him another chance," she said harshly.

Lexie gritted her teeth. "I'm sorry you are hurting—"

"Don't patronize me," she interjected. "I was the one to put everything in our relationship. Give him everything. Be everything for him. You had no right to take away…you had no right," she repeated, water forming in her eyes.

"I don't know what you want me to say…"

"There's nothing you really could say. Time will prove me right, and when it does, I will have nothing left but pity for Mark for having chosen wrong," she stated.

Julia turned and stormed off in the other direction, Lexie watching her as she went. She shouldn't have been surprised that her anger was directed at her. She deserved it.

She felt bad for Julia. She did. She could see the pain etched in her expression, because Lexie had known that all too well. What life was like without having Mark Sloan by her side. She wouldn't wish it on her worst enemy, and certainly not on Julia. She hated that she played a role in causing her that kind of pain.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replied. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," Derek answered.

"Is she right? Is it...is that the only thing I do... hurt Mark?"

Derek's hands were tucked in the pockets of his lab coat. "No. Julia is just hurting and upset. Don't let her put doubt when it comes to you two."

She sighed. "I can't help but feel that all I do is cause pain to others for my own happiness."

"Do you regret loving Mark?"

"No."

"Then leave all the rest outside of this door," he said turning towards her. "If anything, these last few years—the shooting, now the plane crash—has taught me, is that our lives are too short and could be snuffed out at any moment. I'm kind of tired about worrying about all the things that I can't change versus what I can change."

Lexie smiled. "You can't move to Boston. Tell Meredith she has to stay here."

He laughed. "I can't say I wouldn't miss all the entertainment."

"I'd miss our big brother chats. I mean in addition to training under the best neurosurgeon in the country."

"Oh, yes, that, of course," he agreed. He held up his hand that was still in it's cast. "I have to get prepped for surgery." He put his hand on her good shoulder. "Don't worry, Lex, everything will work out just fine. You'll see."

"Thanks," she replied.

He paused and turned back after taking a few steps away. "Oh, and don't count Seattle Grace out of Meredith's decision just yet."

She nodded. "Glad to hear it."

She watched Derek walk away, before her attention returned back to Mark's room. She was going to take Derek's advice and leave all her worries outside the door, and just let herself be happy. Starting with going in and being with the man she loved.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I know...I am so cruel. We got rid of Julia...but I left out the reunion. TBC...