Task 1: The Three Ed Boys Grunt
Chapter 8
The peaceful sound of chirping crickets and hissing cicadas characteristic of summer nights in Peach Creek was briefly interrupted by the pinging sounds of a diesel engine, growing in intensity as a standard sized Neoplan transit bus made its way down the Main Street of the business district. Upon arrival at the street corner, the driver activated his turn signal, veering his bus towards the curb as he brought the large vehicle to a stop.
As the air brakes discharged with a loud hiss, the driver opened the front doors, allowing the five sewer-water covered and incredibly smelly boys to exit. After allowing them to exit, the driver breathed a heavy sigh of relief, and quickly closed the doors, sealing himself from the horrendous smell as he accelerated the bus down the street.
Upon exiting the bus, the five boys, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Kevin and Rolf, proceeded to make their way down the cross street, on their way back to their beloved cul-de-sac for some much needed rest and relaxation. As they did so, Kevin decided to comment on their situation, initiating a new conversation.
"Man, this night was bogus," said Kevin as he removed his hat, wringing it free of the remaining sewer water, "I don't know how I let you dorks talk me into this."
"Hey, don't blame me, you were the one who kept crying about looking for adventure," said Eddy, "Besides, you should be thanking me, I'm the one who finally solved the mystery and got us out of there."
"Please Eddy," said Double Dee, "Seeing as I am covered in an unprecedented amount of filth, I am in no mood for senseless bravado. The apprehension of the culprit was a team effort, and having our picture placed in the paper is merely a byproduct of our good natured deed and NOT the driving reason for doing so."
"Boy oh Boy I sure am glad that Julio and Amanda are safe and sound," said Ed in an exuberant manner, after which he lifted a small metal cage up to his face, inside of which sat Ed's new found rodent friend Mr. Sniffles, "And that I have found a new best friend to share my secrets with! We're going to have so much fun together during our summer vacation. We can play video games, read comic books with May, go down the slip and slide..."
"While I am delighted in the fact that you are excited to spend time with your new pet Ed, I must insist on reminding you all of our primary priority." said Double Dee, "The fact of the matter is that we owe Principal Blomgren a report, detailing a series of community service projects, and procrastination for the sake of enjoying summer fun will simply exacerbate the problem. And, don't forget, we still have to locate a suitable mentor as required by the terms and conditions of our service."
At the conclusion of Double Dee's statement, the boys finally rounded the corner leading into their beloved cul-de-sac. The group briefly paused in front of the Kankers house, sharing their final thoughts as they did so.
"Chill out Moptop," said Eddy as, "I got us into this, I'll get us out of it. Look at the bright side, that little pinch back in the city will make a great first paragraph to our report, so we're already a tenth of the way there!"
Double Dee sighed.
"As much as I'd love to stay and explain the errors in your mathematical reasoning, I am afraid I have a much overdue date with the shower," said Double Dee, "We can reconvene tomorrow morning to discuss the remainder of our report."
"I'm with ya there pal," said Eddy, "Time to hit the good ole sack, I'm beat!"
"Rolfs keester is weary," said Rolf as he lifted his shirt, turning to reveal a very hairy back filled with cartoonishly twisted muscles, "The cramps of shame had returned, and can only be relieved by the delicate touch of Rolfs Sweet Babushka. I must be going."
"See ya dorks later," said Kevin.
One by one, the boys, the boys departed in the direction of their humble abodes, intent on retiring to their bedrooms for a good nights sleep. Double Dee in particular could not wait to retire to bed, but not without first partaking in a long overdue, and highly welcoming shower.
After a half hour of scrubbing underneath a soothing spray of lukewarm water, Double Dee deactivated the faucet, dried himself, and returned to his bedroom. The ever diligent boy donned a pair of comfortable pajamas, complete with a long silk sleeping cap to cover his bare head, after which he initiated his typical bed time routine. This included ensuring that his wig was properly stowed on its holder, verifying that his homework was complete, and finally, brewing himself a cup of warm tea.
After a quick trip to the kitchen to retrieve his beverage, Double Dee returned to his bedroom, where he proceeded to make his bed. After all was in order, the slim boy slipped himself underneath the covers, enjoying a chapter of a famous book on evolution as he enjoyed his tea. However, not long after he had completed the first page, the traditionally sound of a ringing phone filled the air; a sound generated by his cell phone, which had been placed on his night stand for overnight charging.
"Well now, who could that possibly be at such an unreasonable hour?" asked Double Dee as he temporarily closed his book. He proceeded to take hold of his phone, his face transforming into a smile as he observed the screen. Wasting no time, he answered the call, placing the phone to his ear as he did so.
"Good Evening, Eddward speaking," said the voice of Double Dee over the phone.
The sound of a sarcastic tongue click emanated from the phones speaker
"Hiya schnookims," said the voice of Marie, "Guess who?"
"Hello Marie," said Double Dee, sitting up in his bed as he did so, "You have absolutely no idea how ecstatic I am to hear your voice!"
"Likewise," said Marie, "Just calling to let you know we made it to New York safe and sound."
"How is your trip thus far?" asked Double Dee.
"Interesting to say the least..." said Marie, "I hope you boys are doing well back there. What were you boys up to today?"
Double Dee sighed.
"Just the latest Eddy planned adventure as part of our community service project," said Double Dee, "A lovely trip into the city sewer system. I'll admit, it was much too messy for my taste, but in the end it turned out to be for a good cause. What were you and your family up to?"
"Ah, it was nothing," said Marie, "Just a nice stroll around the neighborhood with May, I'll give you the details some other time."
"Certainly," said Double Dee, "On another note, care to listen to a small cultural skill I acquired during our time in the sewers?"
There was a slight pause, after which Marie decided to respond in a confused manner.
"Culture of the sewers?" asked Marie, "Has my honey bun lost his marbles?"
Marie laughed.
"I see your confusion," said Double Dee, "Please allow me to rephrase, a 'linguistic ability' taught to me by our new friend Julio during our time in the sewers.."
"That sounds better," said Marie.
Double Dee cleared his throat, at which point he began to speak slowly, providing his best attempt at a Spanish accent as he uttered his next few words.
Marie, tus ojos verdes son tan hermersos, te quiero mucho.
"Wow," said Marie, "Look at you Mr. Languages, that was great!"
"I figured you would appreciate that," said Double Dee, "Especially after we vowed to work together to become conversive in as many world languages as possible. It is a great way to learn about cultures other than our own."
Double Dee giggled
"Unfortunately, despite bring acquainted with him for years, I have still not yet found the time to learn any phrases in Rolfs native tongue," said Double Dee, "Whatever that may be."
"Baby steps Hun," said Marie, giggling along with Double Dee as she touched her hand to his face.
After a few more moments of amiable conversation, Double Dee decided that it was time for him to take his leave
"Well Marie," said Double Dee, "I believe I should be getting to bed. Judging by the events that had occurred tonight, I am going to need as much rest as possible to plan the remainder of our service project."
"No problem cutie," said Marie, "I'm going to hang out and get some air for a couple minutes. Have fun tomorrow, and be safe. I'll give you a call to tomorrow night, k?"
"I'll be looking forward to it!" said Double Dee, at which point he hung up the phone. He then placed the device back on his night stand, turned off his lamp, and drifted off to sleep.
End of The Three Ed Boys Grunt.
Authors Note
I'd like to thank Danny Antonucci for creating Ed, Edd n' Eddy and The Brothers Grunt, without which this vignette would have been possible.
This was a blast, as I got to write a fanfiction partially based on Danny's work outside of Ed, Edd n' Eddy, and one of my favorite animated shows I had not known existed until recently. Where most see atrocity, I see beauty...give The Brothers Grunt a shot! You might get a laugh here and there.
I invite you all to please check out my blog and youtube channel (links available on my profile) for art and animation based upon the fanon, as well as my own original material and musings. Ive got a lot brewing on that side of the house.
Thank you all, heres to the next vignette. and the completion of Unfinished Business.
KiltedEngineer