Mr Flibble and Jack O'Lantern
Lister: Kryten man; you okay?
Kryten: I have a medium sized fire axe buried in my spine; that sort of thing can really put a crimp on your day.
from Red Dwarf, Season 5, Episode 4:- Quarantine
6 weeks later – a hospital in England
I'd ended up with a fractured cheekbone, broken right arm in 2 places, broken left leg, concussion, pneumonia because of the dust and detritus I'd breathed in while stuck under the rubble, 3 broken ribs and two cracked ones. I almost felt like I'd been in a car crusher.
After the medical that I'd had before I left for 1944, the tests had come back with some interesting results; interesting for the mad scientists that study the medical effects of The Gate on people and interesting for me, because I felt like I should be the lead in a new Marvel film. Whether it was because I was on the petite side, or that I was a woman, no one could quite tell, but it seemed to have fucked with my body on a cellular level (from what they said, I didn't understand half of what they were saying). So, the general gist of it, was that my cells, were no longer aging as normal; apparently, I had aged biologically 6 months, so while I technically 6 months off being 23, I was still 21, genetically. But, the cells seemed to replace themselves faster, when I'd been wounded; which explained why a paper cut I got in a morning had gone by the evening. My bones, when they did a scan on them to see through the casts, were healing a lot faster, and the casts would be off in another 2 weeks. My blood type had changed to –O, which intrigued the medical staff, who kept it on record, along with tissue samples, bone marrow samples and hair and nail samples.
I'd been sent off with Lizzie in tow, before being returned to the hospital in 1944. She was just as astounded as Chuck had been when he came with me, oohing and ahing at everything she saw, asking about the telly in the hospital room, reading the magazines with astonishment and awe, some shock too when saw how much skin women showed nowadays, but she swiftly got used to it; she even got a slight addiction to the chain brand of coffee shop that was in the hospital. I'd make a modern woman out of her yet.
I spent two weeks in the hospital in my time, with Jones being at my every beck and call, having a camp bed set up in my room, as per MOD request and we ended up having long late night bonding sessions; we talked about everything from what had happened between me and George, her and Sobel and everyone else. Davis dropped in one day, with some paper work; he needed and wanted to know if I wanted to stay with Easy or go home to Mum and Dad. He should have known better; this bitch isn't a quitter and I was going to see it through; besides, I had to see all my friends…and George, even if he hated me.
"You remember I told you that Sobel had something over me?" Jones broached one night, just after the night shift nurse came left. I grunted, still in a lot of pain. "Well…the thing is…I actually…"
Whatever it was, I could tell it was hard for her to say it, so to make it easier (and probably because my morphine was kicking in), I told her my secret, even though she probably knew from my medical records.
Jones looked a little sick, but took a deep breath anyway, "Sobel said, if I didn't report to him, then he would tell the medical staff that I had a kid I didn't tell them about and get me kicked out of the Medical corps."
I fell silent. I knew that unwed mothers were very much looked down on, but unwed mothers in a professional capacity, such as this; well, no wonder she wanted to keep it quiet.
Jones, had never had many friends, growing up in LA; she lived in the affluent area, her father had a very good job that paid a fuck ton of money and her mother was an heiress of something or other. She had been an only child and doted on, but wrapped in cotton wool. She hadn't even been allowed male friends, so in that respect, she'd been naïve when approached by a charming young airman passing through. All it took was a few secret dates and some sweet words and he had her in the palms of his hands; by the time she knew she was pregnant he'd disappeared with no forwarding address.
Her parents, needless to say, had been disappointed in their daughter, who was just about to go to nursing school, but they still loved her and understood why she'd done what she'd done; perhaps if they'd let her get a little real life experience, she'd not have been so gullible, which was big of them, considering the times; I thought maybe they'd throw her and her baby out.
They decided to enrol her into medical school anyway, but in one across the country; she finished her last year of high school managing somehow to cover up the signs of pregnancy, before they moved and her daughter was born during summer break, just before the new term started.
When the war broke out, Jonesy knew that they would need nurses and made a deal with her parents; she would scrimp and save and work her ass off to make sure that she would be able to take her daughter and start up on her own two feet. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life as a spinster living with her parents and she wanted her little one to have the normal life she wanted as a child.
"He got hold of my mail; saw the photos and the letters Livvy sends…he said he'd out me if I didn't do it."
"What a fucking prick." I groaned, trying to sit up; I hated Sobel. I sat sulking for a few silent minutes, then I remembered Jonesy sitting by my bed, looking ashamed.
"Got 'ny photos?"
Jonesy looked up, perplexed; "What?"
"Photos? Of your kid? Duh?" Jonesy, still perplexed and wondering what I was up to, fished out her photo of her daughter, dated just before we jumped. "Oh, she's so cute! She looks like Shirley Temple! How old is she now?"
Startled at first by my honesty, Jonesy seemed to relax and we talked for hours about little Livvy and her worries for the future. I told her that when she ever found someone she cares about, who truly loves her too, then he wouldn't care if she was a child out of marriage; he'd love them both, if he was worth anything.
"Charlie, what the fuck're you doing?" Lizzie hissed, while I pulled on my boots. I'd had enough of being stuck in the hospital and Tab, Smokey and Lip were buggering off, so why shouldn't I? Smokey was still on crutches for God's sake; I wasn't.
Frankly, I couldn't get away fast enough and we got a lift with someone else from the 101st, staying in Aldbourne. My stomach wound itself in knots the closer we got to the village. I wanted to talk to him, but I didn't know what to say; would he even want to talk to me?
"Just be honest with him, like how you told me." Lizzie smiled, tucking my arm in hers as we walked through the village, to Miss Lamb's, to see Lucy.
"Oh, yeah, wonderful idea! How would that go; hi George, FYI, the reason I chucked you was because I know you want kids and I can't have any and I'm scared that if you do stay with me, you'll have a kid with someone else behind my back and tell me how unlovable I am and no matter how much you tell me I won't have to worry, I won't believe you, because of how much my ex fucked with my head, and also had a kid with someone else behind my back."
A beat passed and Lizzie nodded. "Yeah, pretty much."
I snorted and rolled my eyes. It was bad enough I'd lied to him, told him I felt nothing when we kissed and that I couldn't be more than friends with him; to have to admit that I'd lied to him so he wouldn't say or do anything I thought he might regret, I really couldn't think of anything worse.
"I think maybe he'd rather hear the real reason, than some bullshit reason that you made up." Damn you Lizzie and your wisdom.
We talked to Lucy for a while, as she and Lizzie talked about babies and what to expect, until we decided that we should probably get back to Easy. We were half way up the hill to the mess hall when the lads spotted me and barking began.
"King!" I called, opening my arms wide. My big hairy baby bounded over and almost knocked me down as he fussed and whined, jumping all over me. "Hewwo! Hewwo my baby! Did you miss me? Did you? Ohhoho, he's my good boy, he's my baby! Yes, yes you are!"
Lizzie snorted as King jumped up at her too, wagging his tail for more fuss; "I wonder if Luz'll be jealous at the way you greet the dog."
"King's my baby; George is George." I shrugged, as we began the last leg of our journey, King falling into step between my legs, as he often did.
"Well look at what the dog brought in!" Bill grinned, as he and the other NCOs came over to greet me. All of them gave me big, brotherly bear hugs and told me how glad they were to be back; yes, staying here was the right choice.
"Just typical of you to quote Red Dwarf though." Rich smirked, as I sat beside him. I gave him a blank look, cocking my head to the side. "I have a medium sized fire axe in my spine, sir; that sort of thing can really put a crimp on your day. I was half-expecting you to come back in a gingham dress and docker boots, with Mr Flibble on your hand."
"I said that?"
"No; you said an entire building fell on my head sir and then you said the rest."
"Idid? I said that?"
"You sure did." Lizzie smirked. "And then you refused to go to the aid-station."
"Well." I threw up my hands with a grumble, before tucking my hands under my armpits. Richie rolled his eyes with a smile and ruffled my hair, and as we went to join a table I caught someone's eye.
George sat across from Hoob, next to a young looking lad that I'd not seen before, with red hair like Malark's and a dimple in his cheek too. My estranged friend gave me a slight smile and a nod, as I sat between Hoob and Bill, across from him, and seemed a little relieved. Hoob patted my arm, said it was nice to see me back and Bill introduced me to the red head; one Babe Heffron, who seemed a little shy and wouldn't stop glancing at me. I couldn't work out if it was my scar he was looking at or me, but I felt uneasy.
"Well, you look a hell of a lot better than when Luz pulled you outta that house." Hoob thankfully spoke up, tearing my attention away from the new kid on the block.
I blinked and looked at George, who had decided that suddenly, he'd rather look at the ashtray. "You did?"
"He helped." He shot back, the slight hint of pink on his cheeks, then thumbed to Frank. "So did Frank and Tab and Buck and Welsh."
"I didn't think I was that heavy." I snorted, feining offense. George's face suddenly broke into a smirk, his eyes shining just like they had the day we met.
"You tell that to my arms; I walk into a room and they're five minute behind."
I bit the inside of my cheek, so I wouldn't laugh and pointed at him. "Okay, yeah, you win that one."
"Ain't the clown for nothin' sweetheart."
"Seriously though, I'm not that heavy; I weigh like, 112lbs!"
"Ed, your rack weighs at least 24 o'those pounds."
I felt my cheeks burn, "How would you even know?! I knew you were staring in PT!"
"Where else d'you want me to look; they get places before you do!" He argued comically, before I lifted the nearest ashtray, ready to lob it at him. "Okay! I don't look on purpose; honest!"
I huffed crossing my arms and promptly starting to sulk.
"He wouldn't be complaining about you being heavy if you didn't run back into the house and get squashed. You're lucky those airbags cushioned the rubble." Richie joined in at taking the piss out of me, putting a mug of hot tea in front of me.
"Get tae fuck, Richie." I mock glared at him. "Go eat a fucking tea light, why don't you? Big fucking Pumpkin Head."
"Shurrup." Now he sulked. "It's not that big."
"Rik; you only need a fucking tea light in your gob and and you'd be a jack'o'lantern."
"Fuck you."
"No thanks." We fell silent, until I thought of something funny and the smirk on my face gave me away.
"What?" Rich grumbled.
"Nothing." I shrugged, snickering.
"So what you laughin' fo'?"
"Just thinking."
"Of?" When I pursed my lips, Rich snorted. "It's a really shit joke, innit?"
"Oh yeah...wanna hear it?" Richie rolled his eyes, but he and the others agreed anyway. I told them, snickering in between. "This is my Irish friend; Jack O'Lantern." The others groaned and rolled their eyes, but George laughed. I'd missed that; the sound of his laugh, his voice, the smell of his aftershave that mixed with cigarette smoke. I missed him.