Rin wasn't sure what she expected from the morning after her first act of intimacy. Perhaps she expected more of where it came from, or nothing at all. To wake in an empty bed, with the ribbon that she had her hair tied with wrapped in a neat little bow on the pillow beside her. Something subtle, something within Sesshomaru's character.
But this was not the Sesshomaru she had grown up with, and she was not a little girl anymore.
What she had not expected was to wake before him. It was so shocking, in fact, that she broke into a bashful grin as she looked up at the ceiling, listening to the slow rhythm of his breathing. She stayed still for some time, waiting for him to rise and join her.
But he didn't.
After a while, she stirred, and the sight she witnessed would always live in her memory.
Sesshomaru laid flat on his back, his right arm wrapped around the tail of his mokomoko, as though he felt strange without it over his shoulder. She had seen his face expressionless, but never wiped clean with sleep. His hair fanned out beneath him and crept over to her pillow. It seemed to glow softly in the sunlight that was beginning to illuminate the room, just a little bit brighter than was believable.
Even as she stirred, he did not wake. His breathing remained the same.
Tea could wait, she decided.
Quietly, she laced her fingers with his and lifted his palm. Only then did his breathing change. As quickly as it hiccoughed, it resumed its quiet pace.
She smiled. It had been years since he had slept.
Abandoning shyness, Rin used this time to become more familiar with his body. She traced the thin blue veins beneath the porcelain skin on his arm, so much lighter than her own. It reminded her that no matter how connected she felt, he was not human. His claws, which she knew had been gone last night, were back. Although they were poison, she traced his smooth nail bed with her fingertips.
"Be careful," he said in a voice she'd never heard before, dripping with sleepiness. When she raised her gaze to his face again, she saw that while his expression had not changed, he was glowing like his hair. Just a little brighter than believable.
"The only cure for that poison is my saliva. You wouldn't want that again, would you?" He smiled slightly.
Rin flushed.
She did want that again.
His smile broadened and he cracked open an eye.
"I can smell that, you know."
She flushed deeper, even though she knew it must have made it worse.
"I don't want to leave this bed," he said, his face returning to blank. "I have never relaxed like this."
Rin said nothing, but moved her ministrations to his abdomen. His muscle wasn't like a human's, which may soften with relaxation. It wasn't hard, either, like a human's would be if it were flexed. His skin and muscle felt like... armour.
She spent a long time touching him, every place that wasn't covered by his hakama. Each indentation of his ribs, the way the scores felt under her fingers. A thought occurred to her. Would he allow her lower than this? His defenses were down. Perhaps this would be the opportune time to take advantage of him.
She was careful not to change posture or intensity, feeling like she was manipulating him although he probably already suspected her game. Glancing at his face, she gently slid three fingers under the waist of his hakama. His breath caught, and one hand came for her; she expected him to push her away, but he didn't.
Instead, he ran his fingers through her hair and stopped with his fingertips at the base of her skull.
"You must stop when I tell you to," he said, his voice still thick with sleep. The reason for his rule was implied.
The hand that wasn't in his waistband ran over his groin. The head of his erection was tucked under his loosely tied himo, and the brush of her palm made him moan softly.
She had never heard a more delicious sound.
Gently tugging his hakama off, she observed his face. His eyes were closed, but his brows furrowed ever so slightly. When she reached a point that they would go no further, he raised his hips slightly to help her.
Although she was interested in giving him pleasure, she wanted to see all of him again, feel all of him. Gently, she removed the hakama completely, leaving it in a little heap at the end of the bed beside her yukata.
When her gaze found his face again, his eyes were still closed, and his brows a little less furrowed.
She had fooled herself thinking she would be able to do anything but tend to his erection.
Often, she had wondered about this moment, how she would overcome her shyness and gather the courage to begin. She had never considered that her trust in him would overcome her trepidation. She knelt down by his side, looking earnestly at his beautiful face.
To make him happy… to please him.
She knew he cared only for her safety, her happiness. He deserved the same in kind.
Gently, without even pausing, she lifted his shaft off of the flat plane of his pelvis. The moment she touched it, the hand on the back of her head met his wrist, his eyes flying open. He didn't look at her; only at the ceiling as she stroked him with her thumb. His breathing quickened.
Rin felt like the Sesshomaru of four seconds before would have told her to stop now, but this Sesshomaru said nothing.
She lowered her head, kissing the glistening tip. Sesshomaru's grip on her wrist, which had been light, got a little tighter. She heard his breath hiss slightly between his teeth.
"No more," he said, his voice naturally seductive. To see his nature come out like this was fascinating.
He also hadn't told her to stop. She was careful not to kiss him again, so as to obey his request.
It was a good thing she'd spoken with Kagome about what to expect. She had no questions. This made it easier for her to enjoy what she was doing.
Trying not to betray shyness, she took him into her mouth and swirled her tongue around the tip. Another delicious sound escaped his lips, and a droplet of sweet, warm substance met her tongue. His grip on her wrist got tighter again, so that she could not move it. He prevented her from any sort of friction that way.
She sucked slightly.
"Don't," he bit out, sounding strained. "I don't trust myself. You must not…"
She sucked again, careful of her teeth.
A hand went to the back of her head, fingertips applying pressure while his palm was held back. She knew he was fighting with himself, so she made it easier. She made it so that he wouldn't have to fight to have his needs met.
He shouldn't have to.
She took more of him. Now she was now at risk of choking, but something kept her from going there in her mind. She remained calm. Perhaps it was his will, perhaps it was her desire. Her eyes watered slightly, but she remained able to continue. She sucked liberally now, twirling her head slightly so that she could lick more of him as she did.
A sound of pure pleasure left him, his body beginning to tense. The claws on his restraining hand dug into his palm.
His eyes had gone red, the marks on his cheeks erratic. The Sesshomaru with acute control and a cool mind was changing. His breathing became ragged.
This must be the most strain he's ever felt.
… I will take care of you.
She decided then that when he got close, if he told her to stop, she wouldn't. She would suffer the consequences later. She must give him this, as he had given to her.
She couldn't move the hand holding him and needed the other to support herself, leaving no options to give him the friction he desperately needed. Rin breathed deep, letting herself exhale about halfway. In a moment, she wouldn't be able to breathe. He sensed it, tensing before it happened.
"Don't!" he hissed.
She took the rest of him down her throat, holding her head down through the choking. He growled as she felt her throat contract around him - trying to force him out - and she blinked away tears. Simultaneously, the hand from the back of her head went to her throat, intending to shove her. It stayed once he felt himself there, running his thumb over the unfamiliar bulge.
"Stop," he groaned.
He knew it was too late, he had let it go too far. The hand that threatened to push her head down went to her throat to push her away, knowing if he didn't target that vulnerable place, she would fight him.
But he could feel his own cock down her throat, and she choked but held herself down. It caused the muscles to contract, and he was lost.
"Stop," he bit out, removing both hands from her. He heard blood splatter the bedsheets from the palm he'd been clawing into, but felt no pain. If he touched her, he could kill her.
"Rin!" He groaned. The longer she held him down her throat, the closer he got.
Focus!
He kept his hands on the bed, wishing there was something to tangle them in - her hair - just to buy her time to get away from him. Knowing she wouldn't, he stilled himself as much as possible. Her throat contracted with suppressed choking again, and the battle was won. With a groan, he was overcome. His fangs elongated, the desire to mark her beautiful flesh overwhelming. Something like a snarl came from his chest. He kept his eyes on the ceiling, fearing what he would see if he looked at her.
Through all of this, she kept him down. He raised his hand to grip her hair, thinking only of pulling her head back and thrusting into her throat as it spasmed.
Keep your hands off of her!
Her throat contracted in response to his seed spilling into it, his dream coming true. He felt as though her body was milking him, the scent of her arousal dripping in the air. Once they were through with this, he would fuck her senseless, tending to her weeping flesh.
As his orgasm ended, this string of depraved thoughts slowed. Why would he think to do this, when he knew it would put her in so much danger? Allowing this had put her in danger.
He was not accustomed to this anxiety.
Fighting off the refractory sluggishness from his orgasm, he finally looked at her, the sight of his cock down her throat stunning him. She was crouched beside him, somewhere along the line her ass coming to face him so that she could take his length. He could see that between her legs, she was swollen and dripping. His eyes found the sight of his cock in her throat again.
He smoothed her bangs back, subtly telling her it was time to release him.
The sensation of sliding out of her throat made his breath catch, but he was too concerned about her to think about it.
She coughed only once as she sat up, tears streaming from her bloodshot eyes. Her face was red from lack of oxygen, but it made her little body look the image of perfection after what she'd just done. Her little nipples were pink at the tips from blood flow. Something like anger mixed with adoration filled him, and he knew she could see it on his face. Her expression was not apologetic.
She'd never been in trouble before. A thousand times she'd risked her life, going out on her own, being who she needed to be. Never once had he been angry with her. He had always known at the very base of it all that if she died again, it would be his fault as it was the first two times.
He would give his immortal life just to be sure that she was safe. That she would have a good life, a life without suffering or pain.
His anger evaporated. This was not her fault. It was his.
"Are you hurt?" he asked.
Rin's eyes met his, and he was greeted with an energy that felt like a matching force. The expression strengthened him.
Perhaps she could handle him.
"You didn't hurt me. You'll never hurt me," she said, her voice soft and scratchy. Too many emotions and feelings were blending through them at that moment, but the quality of her voice wounded him.
"This wasn't part of my plan," he said, sitting up. He covered himself with a sheet before gathering her in his arms, trying not to invite any more unplanned adventures today. Rin found herself in his lap, looking up at his face. He gently stroked her cheeks as the blood left them and her oxygen levels returned to normal. It was a while before he spoke.
"I hurt your throat," he stated. His fingers gently swept where his cock had visibly distended her neck.
"You didn't do anything," she said, her voice a little stronger. "I kept going when I knew you would have told me to stop. You gave me so much last night -"
"Giving you pleasure is different," he interrupted.
"It isn't," she said, her voice sweet but blunt. She had that hard look in her eyes once more, like she could handle him.
"If we're going to be together, I have to be able to do those things. I have to be able to take you. If I can't, then I'm not strong enough to be with you."
Sesshomaru went quiet. He loved the cadence of her voice, the way she did not fear defying him. He loved her tenacity.
In the absence of a response, she spoke once more.
"I would do it again, and I will do it again," she stated.
Against his will, he smirked.