How Nagato Got H44's Info

Wilhelmshaven, before the start of this story

H44 walked along the wharf, enjoying the sunshine of what was, arguably, a good day. He had a good start to the day, he finally had a good sleep, the chow hall had bacon, and his schedule was clear for the next few days. Bismarck was meeting with some higher ups in other camps, apparently things weren't going smoothly since the Sirens had retreated.

"I have hopes we'll find a solution…" H44 mumbled. He stopped walking, and closed his eyes. He felt the breeze ruffle his silver hair, but he sensed a presence behind him. He turned around to see… "Deutschland?"

The pocket battleship jumped out of the bush she was hiding in. "H44! Tirpitz has requested your presence in her office!" She shouted, pointing at the battleship.

H44 walked up to her, looking down at the much smaller girl. "Very well. Take me there."

She nodded, grabbing H44's hand and started to pull him towards Tirpitz's office. "I'm still waiting for you to fight me, you know."

H44 looked down at the girl tugging him. "I'm letting you pull me, you think you could fight me?" He dug his heel into the ground, the sudden weight yanking Duetschland onto her back. "That's about what I expected. I'll go the rest of the way on my own."

Deutschland stood up, and dusted herself off. "Point taken, very well."

H44 nodded, and walked off. "Oh, Deutschland? Look after your sister." He said, not turning around. "You never know when the day might come when she won't be there anymore."

Deutschland watched him go, pondering his words.

H44 walked into the building where the offices were, walking along the halls. He passed the mahogany doors, listening as other Kansen did work. He paused at Z23's office, his sensors listening to her mumbled what she was writing. He nodded, glad she was working still. He carried on, arriving at Tirpitz's door. His sensors detected two Kansen in the room, causing him to narrow his eyes.

He opened the door. "You wanted to see me-" H44 was stopped when a ship nearly the same height as him was waiting in Tirpitz's office with Tirpitz.

"Ah, H44, you made it." Tirpitz stood up from her chair. "Glad you could make it."

H44 was still staring at the other girl in the office.

"H44, we've talked about this." Tirpitz sighed. "You can't just stare at everyone who is as tall as you."

"It is quite alright, Tirpitz." The Kansen said, putting her hand out for H44 to shake. "H44, I am Suruga. I am the third ship of the Kii class."

H44, shaking himself out of his stupor, took and shook the outstretched hand. "H44, first ship of the H-44 Class battleship. Pleasure to meet you." He smiled slightly. "What brings you to Wilhelmshaven?"

"Business, unfortunately." Suruga answered. "My superior is meeting with Bismarck in Sakura, I came to meet with my equal here."

"That would be me, H44." Tirpitz answered, the sudden smugness catching him off guard.

"Very well, Eiskönigin ." H44 answered, turning back to face Suruga and ignoring Tirpitz's sputtering at his nickname to her. "Suruga, if you don't mind me asking, what business do you have with Iron Blood? We aren't known for hospitality or care."

"I'm here because Nagato has requested paperwork regarding…" She brought out a notebook, checking it again. "Ah, yes. She requested records of H44 and his actions during the Siren War."

Tirpitz arched an eyebrow at the request. "I'm afraid not even Bismarck can do that."

"What do you mean?" Suruga tilted her head, and H44 had to stop his hand from touching her horns.

"The Oberkommando has decreed the H44's actions and record during the Siren War be kept private until a time is right, or H44 declares it okay for said documents to be released." Tirpitz explained. "Unfortunately, we have decreed that while H44 is on this base, he will not release the documents. It's for the world's safety."

"Why the world's safety?" Suruga asked.

"Well, if Eagle Union knew we had someone better than Enterprise and that the Kansen basically made her career by causing a minor portion of Sirens to flee to the Pacific Theater, we're afraid they might try to assassinate him."

"But…?

"If they try that, H44 might react violently and sink some very important Kansen in retaliation. He's a very violent person on the seas sometimes." Tirpitz explained.

Suruga's eyes looked at H44, whose index finger was tracing her horns. "Have you ever rammed someone with these?"

"Uhm…"

"Have you tried? It might work." H44 pulled his finger back, adopting a standing thinking position. "But how would that work…"

"H44." Tirpitz snapped her fingers.

"Right, sorry." H44 cleared his throat. "What Tirpitz says is correct."

"So...not on this base?"

"Or any Iron Blood base or building." H44 clarified. "For all intents and purposes, I am a...what's the word...poster boy?" He looked at Tirpitz, who shrugged.

"Interesting…" Suruga put her hand to her chin.

"There is one way to get a record about him." Tirpitz started. "But you may not like what you have to do."

"What is it?" Suruga asked. "I don't want to go back to Nagato empty-handed."

Tirpitz looked at H44. He looked back at Tirpitz. "No."

She smirked.

"Nuh-uh. Not happening."

Suruga looked between the two battleships. "Does someone want to fill me in on what's going on?"

H44 sighed, covering his face with his hand and shaking his head. Tirpitz looked at Suruga with a suspicious glint in her eyes. "If you want the only file we're allowed to release, you have to survive."

"Survive what?" Suruga asked.

H44 looked up. "You have to call one of our ships by their alternative name."

"Oh...that seems easy enough."

H44 scoffed. "Yeah, you say that." He turned to Tirpitz. "I'll get my rigging, you call her to the bay."

Tirpitz gave a fake salute. "Aye, sir." She picked up her phone, and began dialing in.

H44 turned to Suruga. "I wish you the best of luck. I'll be on standby in case she gets out of hand."

Suruga arched an eyebrow as he walked out of the office, but she followed him.

Harbor

H44 and Suruga were standing in the water, wearing their combat forms. On the pier side was Tirpitz and Graf Spee. Spee was holding a folder, while Tirpitz was looking on with her signature 'hand on chin, don't talk to me I'm thinking' look. Well, that's what H44 called it.

"Should I be aware of anything before we start this?" Suruga asked.

"Well, she has a pretty wicked handcannon, so there's that." H44 scratched his chin. "But you have more armaments than her...but she might be quicker."

"And I just call her by the other name?"

"Correct."

"Okay…"

They heard a splash as a Kansen jumped into the harbor on the other side. "Who summons me?!" Deutschland shouted.

"That's your cue, good luck." H44 backed up. "I'll be here if she gets out of hand."

Suruga nodded, and turned to Deutschland. "Lutzow! I challenge you!"

Deutschland looked stunned for a second, her small form absolutely still.

"Did I do something wron-"

The other side of the bay seemed to explode, as Deutschland screamed in anger.

H44 shook his head. "Damn hothead. Suruga, you're up!" His dragons roared in agreement.

Suruga readied her cannons as Deutschland charged at her. She dashed to the left as Deutschland charged past her and into a wharf wall.

H44 winced slightly. "She's doing that combo this time?"

"Huh?!" Suruga asked. "What does that mean?!"

"Oh, she's doing bull shark maneuvers." H44 explained as Deutschland fired a barrage of shells at the pair. The shells missed Suruga and ricocheted off H44's armor. He rolled his shoulders as they did. "AP shells? She's better than this."

"All this for a folder?" Spee asked Tirpitz. "What's in this folder that's so important?"

"Spee, that's the only folder Bismarck is allowed to release on H44's actions during the Siren War. Everything else is strictly confidential to the highest degree." Tirpitz explained. "If Nagato needs his info that badly, then she'll be okay with her second doing this."

Spee wasn't listening to anything past the first sentence, she was already looking through the folder. 'Ooo, he's got nice armor.'

Suruga dodged another salvo, barely jumping above Deutschland charging her again. "Why is she so mad?!"

"She hates the name Lutzow. Like, a lot." H44 explained nonchalantly. "She prefers to be remembered as Deutschland."

"I-I see." Suruga spun to the right as a salvo exploded in her previous position.

"Damn, she's really going all out." H44 mumbled to his dragons. "I'm sure Suruga will be okay."

"What makes you so sure?" H44 turned around as a shell exploded next to him to see Eugen walking up to him.

"I don't know...what a peculiar feeling…" He put his hand to his chin. "One would call it...strange."

Suruga dodged one more salvo. "I need to put a stop to this." She fired her own salvo, the shells exploding around Deutschland. "There! Got her…"

Deutschland charged out of the smoke, looking angrier. Her hand cannon fired off several rounds, the bullets exploding on Suruga's cannons.

"Uh oh." H44 said, looking on as a stray round hit him and pinged off. "She's brought out the hand cannon."

"Should we be worried?" Eugen asked.

"Duck." H44 said. Eugen looked confused until a round hit her and knocked her back. "I shouldn't, maybe you should."

Suruga fired off another salvo, it unfortunately had the same effect. "Oh come on!"

"Suruga! She's only beat by using unorthodox methods!" H44 shouted. "For example…" He summoned a shell, and threw the whole shell at Deutschland. It hit her square in the face, and knocked her over.

"H44!" Tirpitz shouted.

"I didn't hit her!" H44 shouted back. "I didn't hit her! I did not! Oh, hi Eugen."

Tirpitz sighed. "Continue on. She's not down yet."

"Unorthodox, huh?" Suruga pondered. She looked deep in thought till she snapped her gloved fingers. "I got it!"

Deutschland struggled to get up, but as she did, she was met with the sight of Suruga charging her. She tried to recalibrate her cannons, but her head was spinning and she was having trouble aiming correctly. She fired a salvo, but it went high and went for H44. He smacked the shell aside, letting it detonate behind him. Suruga reached Deutschland at a high speed, her head aimed at Deutschland's core.

"Is she-" Eugen asked

She headbutted Deutschland. It was hard enough to knock the pocket battleship off her rigging and onto land. The rigging fell apart and disappeared in a flurry of cubes.

"She did." H44 answered, impressed.

Tirpitz nodded, and waved Suruga over to her and Spee. Suruga went over, grabbing the folder, thanking Tirpitz as Spee walked over to her now unconscious sister.

"Should I be worried about Deutschland?" Suruga asked, rubbing her head.

"If you want. She's been through worse." Tirpitz waved it off. "Now, go. Nagato wants the information? You better take it before Bismarck changes her mind."

Suruga nodded, and went over to H44. He looked down at the battleship. "Good work."

"Thank you, but I do owe a part of this victory to you." Suruga admitted. "I hope Nagato appreciates this information." She opened the folder to read through it, her face becoming neutral. "There is a lot of black here."

"Don't blame us, Oberkommando wanted this to stay unreleased. But...a newspaper already had a picture of me at that battle. So it was natural that we released that one under some...heavy censorship." H44 shrugged. "Now, you go."

"Very well, I hope we work well with each other in the future." Suruga bowed, and H44 followed suit. Before she could leave, H44 cleared his throat. "Hmm?"

"You've worked hard today, perhaps you could stay the night? Rest a bit?" H44 offered. "I am aware the trip back to Sakura will be a long one, why night rest?"

Suruga smiled. "I will take you up on that offer, thank you."

Eugen looked between the two. 'Strange…' She thought to herself.

H44 Gets Bent
(Also known as the continuation of fem H44)

H44's Quarters, H44 ship

H44's face looked up at Heinrich on top of her. She tried to move, but her hands were still stuck in Eisen's jaws. She tried to wiggle out of the grip, but that caused some moaning from Heinrich. 'Did that get her off?'

"H44...don't move so much…" Heinrich moaned. "You're blindfolded and at the mercy of two incredibly hot battlecruisers. Why would you leave?"

"Hey now, I'm not complaining. But today's my day off." H44 explained. "I would like to spend it sleeping."

"You can sleep with us though." Heinrich countered, lying down so her breasts touched H44's. H44 would deny later on that she liked that feeling. "And I know you've been staring at Eugen's hips."

"I-I…"

"Shh…" Eugen walked up beside H44, taking his blindfold off so that he could see both her and Heinrich in all their glory. "Don't deny it, H44. I don't mind~"

"Uhm…" H44 seemed at a loss for words.

Heinrich smiled, her hand reaching back and sliding down to H44's inner thigh. As she neared H44's lower lips, Heinrich felt H44 tense a little bit. "Oh?"

H44 bit her lower lip. "Please…"

Heinrich smiled, and her finger felt H44's slit. "You're already a little wet~"

"Shut up…" H44 looked away, blushing. "Just...put it in…"

Heinrich leaned down and kissed H44 on the lips, her tongue entering H44's mouth. Her finger that was near H44's slit moved away as Eugen positioned her mouth in front of it. Her tongue teased H44, causing her to moan in Heinrich's mouth. Heinrich broke from the kiss to turn to Eugen. "Give it to her~"

Eugen nodded, and went to work on H44's pussy. As her tongue licked her slit, H44 had to grit her teeth to stop herself from moaning out loud. Heinrich smirked at her, leaning down so her mouth was next to H44's ear. "I know you want to...let it all out~" She whispered, nibbling on her ear.

H44 moaned out loud, her back arching upwards as waves of pleasure rippled through her. "Oh...my god…"

"You like that?" Heinrich smiled, her hands on H44's breasts. "I know you haven't been getting your needs filled, H44. Just leave it to us to help you out~"

Eugen's tongue went a little deeper than what H44 was expecting, causing her to moan loudly. "Oops." Eugen said, her tone doing a terrible job at making it seem like a mistake. "That won't happen again~" She went back down, doing the same thing again, getting another moan from H44. Eugen smiled. "I wonder how far I can go-"

"H44!" Bismarck threw the door open, Scharnhorst right behind her with multiple folders filled with paperwork. "I need-what in God's name is going on here?"

Bismarck surveyed the scene of H44's feet bound by rope, her hands trapped between Eisen's jaws, Eugen mid-lick on H44's vagina, and Heinrich lying down on H44's chest. Scharnhorst's eyes lingered on H44's body...and lingered...and lingered.

Okay, she was staring at H44's body, her face had a dusting of red on it.

"Heinrich, Eugen." Bismarck started.

"Yes ma'am?" They both said.

"Clothes, on. H44, freed. She has business with some members of Eagle Union and Sakura Empire . I don't think they want H44 in her current state." Bismarck ordered. "H44, please put some clothes on."

"What about my day off?!" H44 exclaimed. "I did nothing wrong!"

"Well, EU and SE need you. Now hurry up." Bismarck ordered. She turned to Scharnhorst, who was still staring. Her eyes followed H44 as she got up and began to get dressed, a small whimper was heard as H44 put her undersuit on. "Scharnhorst."

"E-eh?"

"Stop staring." Bismarck smiled, walking away. "You'll get your turn with her soon enough."

"E-eh!?" Scharnhorst's face turned completely red as Bismarck walked away chuckling.

A Normal Phone Call

Supermarket

H44 walked along the aisles of food, looking for the last item on his list. He was hoping they had it, but he was severely doubting it. H44 was also getting tired of all the stares he was getting, not to mention the requests for autographs from fangirls who recognized his symbol and armor.

"Perhaps releasing my document was a mistake...these Eagle Union girls have a weird taste if they think I'm a celebrity." H44 mumbled under his breath.

As he turned to the next aisle, his phone rang. "Hmm?" He got his phone out of pocket, the screen showing it was Roon. "Wonder what she wants." He answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hey, I need your help. Can you come here?" Roon asked, the sound of explosions in the background made the situation sound a lot like something H44 shouldn't get involved in.

"I can't I'm buying clothes."

"Alright, well hurry up and come over here."

"I-I can't find them."

"What do you mean you can't find them?"

"I can't find them." He looked around. "There's only soup."

"What do you mean there's only soup?" There was another explosion and what sounded like Odin dueling Deutschland.

"I mean there's only soup!"

"Then get out the soup aisle!" Roon exclaimed.

"Alright, you don't have to shout!" H44 took some more steps, ending up in another soup aisle. 'What in the goddamn?' "There's more soup!"

"What do you mean there's more soup!?"

"There's just more soup!"

"GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!"

"THERE'S STILL SOUP!"

"WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!" Another explosion and what sounded strangely similar to Suruga firing a full barrage.

"I'M AT SOUP!" H44 shouted, a couple people turning around to see what the armored figure was shouting about.

"WHAT DO YOU MEANYOU'RE AT SOUP?!"

"I MEAN I'M AT SOUP!"

"WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN!?" Roon shouted as what sounded like Ark Royal being blown up by Enterprise occurred in the background of the call.

"I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!" H44 shouted back, as two girls wearing H44 shirts rounded the corner to see if it really was H44 shouting in a store.

"WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE!?"

"FUCK YOU!" H44 shouted. Before Roon could retaliate, he heard the sound of Indianapolis charging up her special ability, and the call suddenly dropping. "Oh…"

He felt a tapping on his armor. He looked down to see two college aged girls, a dirty blonde and a brunette, holding H44 plushies and both of them wearing a shirt with him on it.

"Uh...hi?" H44 said awkwardly. "What can I do for you two?"

They brought out their phones. "Can we get a selfie?" The brunette asked. "It's not everyday you get to see the H44."

'At least it's not autographs.' "You want me to strike a pose?"

"Actually...can you take your top armor off?"

'Goddammit, not again…'

Repairs

Wilhelmshaven

H44 was sitting on top of his Anton cannon, trying to do some work on a barrel that wasn't depressing anymore. "Stupid thing, damn Siren must've lobbed a dud AP round…"

"H44!" H44 looked up to see Cleveland running up to his ship's dock. "Hey, H44!"

"Clevebro, what's up?" He answered back, still on top of his cannon. "Did Vestal or Akashi ever get my parts?"

"Not yet!" Cleveland responded. "What's broken now?" She hopped onto the main deck, in front of the Anton cannon.

"Barrel one is broken. It's stuck in the up position." H44 answered. "Can you see if there's anything stuck on the bottom?"

Cleveland nodded. She peered into the mechanism of the barrel, and saw something stuck in the cannon. "There's something in the gears!"

"Can you see what it is exactly?" H44 shouted down from the top.

"Yeah, it's a...crap! We got a 5in shell in there!"

"You kidding? I was right!" H44 exclaimed. "What type?"

"It looks like-" Suddenly, the barrel shifted down and the shell detonated. H44 was thrown off the cannon top and Cleveland was thrown back. There was smoke shrouding the deck, except it wasn't the usual smoke color...it was green

"Ugh!" H44 hit the deck hard. "Sometimes this armor hurts more than it helps…"

Cleveland sat up, shaking her head. "Well, that was bad."

"You're telling me." H44 sighed. He looked around. "Hey, where's my barrel?"

"Is it not…" Cleveland looked at the Anton cannon, seeing that it was missing a barrel. "Uh oh…"

"Hey Cleve...you feel...funny?" H44 asked, suddenly falling down onto the deck face first.

"Yeah…" Cleveland followed shortly after.

Bismarck's Office

Bismarck, Tirpitz, Nagato, and Suruga were in Bismarck's office, looking over plans to completely overhaul the dormitories.

"Is this what Enterprise and QE wanted us to do?" Tirpitz asked.

"Correct, they're getting the materials-" There was a loud crash outside, interrupting the meeting.

"Suruga, go check that out." Nagato ordered. Suruga nodded, and went outside to the hallway. When she walked out, she found a large gun barrel stuck in the floor of the hallway and protruding from the ceiling.

"Nagato!"

"Yes?"

"There's a giant cannon barrel in the hallway...and the floor...and the ceiling." Suruga winced at the sentence.

Nagato and Bismarck looked out into the hallway. "Huh…" Bismarck said, looking at the scene.

"Isn't that...H44's barrel?" Nagato asked.

Tirpitz sighed, picking up the phone on Bismarck's desk. "Get me my adjutant."

"Aye, ma'am." There was a small pause, then a click. "Hello?"

"Z20, can you get H44 for me, please? I found his barrel." Tirpitz asked.

"Will do."

H44's main deck

"Bro…" Cleveland and H44 were spaced out on the deck, lying on their backs. "What if we had...aliens?"

"Like...the Sirens?" Cleveland asked.

"Nah...like aliens from those cartoons?"

"Oh damn…"

H44's phone rang, and he felt some of his more complicated motor skills returning. "Oh hey, a FaceTime." He answered it. "Yo."

Z20 appeared on the screen, and she could see H44 was out of it. "Yo." She stifled a laugh. A wasted H44 was funny, most of the time.

"Okay, wait, Z20, before we start can you just give me some beep-boops, beep-boop-boop?"

"Beep-boop-bop, beep-boop-boop-boop...beep?"

"Wh-what's your alien name? If you were a dude." H44 asked.

"Roger...no I wanna be Kevin dude. I wanna be Kevin the alien." She was trying really hard to stifle her laughs.

"Why was mine such a bad name? Mine was Barracuda." H44 asked.

Z20 began to laugh. "Kevin and Barracuda, dude."

"I'm like, I'm like coming down off whatever shell was stuck in my turret, by the way." H44 explained.

"Oh, that's great."

"I can hear this water running, hold on." He turned away. "Is there water running?"

"That's not me." Cleveland said, still out of it.

"Oh, it's not?"

"Woahhh!" Z20 said out of nowhere.

"Could you be both aliens?" H44 asked.

"You want me to be both aliens?"

"Just say: "You know what place blows? Earth.""

"I agree." She said in a nasaly voice.

H44 laughed at her impression of an alien, so did Cleveland.

"You know what place blows? Earth." Z20 said, her voice a little deeper and less nasally. "I agree." She changed her tone back to the original nasally one. "Grab the sack, let's go to Mars." Now the three of them were laughing. "We're such losers. That's why we gotta leave Earth man." She cleared her throat, going back into the voice. "Don't forget, bring the weed."

H44 and Cleveland lost it, laughing on H44's deck near a damaged gun turret and still coming down from whatever was in the 5in shell.

Akashi's shop

"Hey, has anyone seen that experimental shell from Azur Lane HIGHCOM?" Scharnhorst asked. "Colorado has been waiting on it for a while."

"Uhm…" Akashi looked at her records. "I'm not sure, nya~"

"Well, she needs it. It has sedatives helpful for pacifying Sirens." Scharnhorst explained.

"Well…" There was a loud BOOM from the harbor. The two looked at the harbor, seeing the only H-44 ship in the world firing all of it's AA and secondaries into the ocean and away from the harbor. "I may have hidden it so nya one would find it."

"Where did you hide it?"

Akashi started to sweat. "In H44's Anton turret, under barrel number one."

"Oh no...if the shell works right now...it has bad effects on Kansen…" Scharnhorst winced. "It replicates the same feeling as being on psychedelic mushrooms for humans."

"So…" Akashi looked at H44's ship firing a full rear barrage from the Caesar und Dora cannons. "H44's wasted."

"As the cool kids say: He's higher than a motherfucker right now." Scharnhorst smiled a little bit at that. "Better go take care of him~"

"Akashi doesn't like where this is going, nya…"