AN: Trigger warnings to things are present. Don't like don't read.
I don't own Rizzoli & Isles. I just borrow them and some dialogue at times.
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Jane sat at her desk in the bullpen as she tried not to laugh at Frost. His face was scrunched in concentration as he typed furiously on his keyboard. She was slightly worried that he was going to break the damn thing. Korsak's laugh echoed throughout the bullpen which set her off uncontrollably.
Frost glanced up at her, glaring at her for a moment, "Shut up. Both of you."
Her cell phone rang as she tried to slow the laughter and Korsak asked, "What's so important that you break the keyboard anyway?"
Her smile disappeared as Susie Chang's face appeared on her phone, "Rizzoli."
"Jane, you have to get down here! Right now." Susie rattled off an address in her ear quickly.
"Whoa, Susie slow down. What's wrong?" She asked as she stood and pulled her dark blue blazer on.
"Jane, get here now! It's Maura!" Susie's voice was panicked as the call ended.
She snatched her keys out of her drawer, "Let's go." She snapped as she ran from the bullpen and punched the button for the elevator.
Korsak and Frost didn't ask questions until they were in the car and Korsak gripped the passenger side door as she sped through the packed Boston streets, "What's going on?"
"I don't know but Susie said it's Maura." She said through clenched teeth as she white knuckled the steering wheel.
She could feel her adrenaline pulsing through her body, her heart beating miles a minute. She couldn't move fast enough as different scenarios flitted across her mind. Maura's voice was in her head, trying to sooth her, trying to explain that her being worked up wouldn't help anyone.
She struggled to focus as she slammed the car into park and ran towards Susie, Korsak and Frost hot on her heels. She gripped the lab tech's shoulders, "Where's Maura?"
Susie shook her head, "I don't know. The FBI had me run blood tests on all of the samples I could find." She moved under the yellow caution tape, "There was some kind of shoot out and this," She motioned to a large pool of blood on the ground next to the dumpster, "Is all Doctor Isles' blood."
She felt her body go cold, her legs growing weak as she stared at the amount that was on the concrete. Her voice was raspier than usual, emotion clogging her throat as her mind tried to push through the sudden pain, "Run it again."
Susie shook her head, "I ran it four times Jane. This and the trail out to the next street is all hers. The Agents that had been out here with her haven't been heard from either. That was two hours ago. The two bodies over there," Susie pointed down the alley, "Are known associates of Salvador Lucchese."
Her heart dropped instantly as she struggled to stay on her feet. She could hear Korsak's voice near her ears, but she couldn't understand what he was saying. Her body was going numb as she stared down at the pool of blood, not seeing it but seeing Maura sitting there, laying there. Bleeding out without anyone to help, without her there to protect her.
She could feel hands on her, but she couldn't focus enough as Maura's strong voice filled her head, "That much blood loss and I would be surprised if the victim survived Jane. It's highly unlikely."
She shook her head, needing to ignore Maura's voice, "Where's Dean?"
Susie frowned, "He's at the hospital. He sustained four shots to his vest and took a nasty hit to the head. He was unconscious when the units got here."
She clenched her teeth as anger flooded her body. He was alive and at the hospital while Maura was gone and bleeding. She hated the man before but now… There were no words to describe what she was feeling for him now. Not until she could get her hands on him, not until she could get every little detail out of him about where Maura was.
She spun on her heel, "I want everything."
Cavanaugh nodded as he approached, "FBI has agreed to work with us since Maura is family. They'll let our lab run everything, so Chang will be busy for the next few days."
She nodded as she glanced back down at the blood on the ground, "I'm going to talk to Dean."
Korsak frowned at her, "Are you sure that's a good idea right now?"
She shoved passed him, "Right now I don't give a shit."
Frost followed her to the car and sat quietly in the passenger seat as she sped towards the hospital. She didn't care what condition the man was in when she got there, she would get the information that she needed before she killed him. She parked in the reserved spot for police in front of the hospital and strode into the emergency room while Frost asked a nurse at the help desk.
She spotted Dean a moment before Frost approached her, "He's conscious but he's not being cooperative."
She glared at the man as she walked towards him, feeling the disgust roll through her body mixing with the anger and fear. Dean glanced up and his eyes widened at her before he pushed the doctor away and bolted down the hallway. She cursed under her breath before she entered a full sprint after him.
She dodged the tray of medical equipment that Dean had knocked over to hinder her progress and continued after him through the twisting hallways. She jumped as he shoved an empty gurney at her, her legs barely missing the bed. Frost wasn't as lucky as it caught him in the hip and he shoved it aside, falling slightly behind her.
They exited the hospital, and she felt her lungs struggling to keep up with the air she was trying to take in. A black van skidded to a stop at the curb ahead of them and the side door jerked open allowing Dean to dive inside before the tires burned rubber as it peeled out. She ran into the middle of the street as the van sped down the road and she clenched her hands into fists at her sides.
"Fuck!" She shouted as she watched the van disappear around the corner.
Frost doubled over, his hands resting on his knees as he tried to regain his breath, "Something. Tells me. That he… Knows what this was about."
She shook her head as she turned back to her partner, her anger boiling over, "You think?" She snapped at him.
She walked past him as her body shook with anger and fear. Fear that Maura wasn't going to be okay. Fear that she would never hold the woman again. Fear that she had just lost the two most important people in her life.
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Jane entered the house and heard the voices coming from the kitchen at the back of the house. Her mother was speaking to Luca in soft tones as she guided him on what to do. Tommy's voice chimed in every now and then but other than that she didn't hear anything else but the sound of food cooking.
She entered the kitchen quickly finding Maura watching the events from across the room where she was leaning against the backdoor. She tried to catch Maura's eyes, but the woman wasn't allowing it, the wall firmly in place. Pain clutched at her heart as she took a step towards the blonde. She needed to apologize.
"Mama," Luca smiled widely at her as he caught sight of her.
She hesitated before smiling over at him, "You helping Nonna with supper?"
Luca nodded excitedly, "Yes. She said I could help with the chicken if I'm careful."
She glanced over at Maura before smiling at him again, "Do you mind if I borrow Mommy for a moment?"
Luca frowned as he glanced over at Maura and she saw the nervousness on his face. After a moment of contemplation, he shook his head, "Okay."
She moved towards Maura, "We'll be right through here, in the living room okay." She motioned to the doorway behind her. Luca nodded before Angela quickly caught his attention again and she mouthed 'thank you' to her.
She turned back to Maura and saw the hesitation in the blonde's stiff body before she pushed off the door and walked past her. Maura's perfume brushed across her face in the breeze, and she closed her eyes for a moment, relishing the scent. She spun on her heel and followed the blonde back down the hall passed the stairs. She motioned to the left and they entered the large living room.
Maura seemed to shrink in on herself and she couldn't help but feel like it was her fault, "Maura I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take my anger out on you."
Maura shook her head, "I deserve it."
She felt like she had been punched in the stomach, "What? No, you don't. Maura-"
Maura shook her head, "I do Jane." Her voice grew stronger as she continued, "You have every right to be angry with me."
She frowned, confusion muddling the words she had wanted to say, "I'm not angry at you Maura. I'm angry that it happened. I'm angry that you were taken from me and I couldn't stop it."
Maura frowned at her, "It had nothing to do with you. You couldn't have stopped it even if you had been there."
She pinched the bridge of her nose in exhaustion, "Okay wait. I don't want to argue with you. We need to start from the beginning. I need to know what happened, what I wasn't told."
Maura nodded, "I'll tell you. I promise but it's been an exceptionally long day and I didn't get any sleep last night."
As the wall slipped, she could see the extreme exhaustion on Maura's face, in her tense body. She took a step towards the blonde, "Please stay here. I can't let you leave Maura. I won't let you leave. We don't have to talk, and you can use the guest room if you'd be more comfortable."
Maura frowned at her, "Luca and I-"
She quickly cut her off without thinking, "He has a room."
Maura froze, shock written across her face, "What?"
She felt her face heat as it flushed, "I had hope that I would find you and…" She shook her head, "No one has been in there because I keep it locked. Ma thinks it's my pleasure room for some reason." She rolled her eyes.
Maura's smile melted her insides, "I'd like to see it sometime."
She reached out and took Maura's hand, "Dinner is going to be a while. Come on." She pulled Maura to the stairs and hurried up them, "I didn't know when I would find you, but I wanted to be prepared for any case." She pulled her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the second door on the left.
She let Maura enter first and leaned against the doorjamb, watching the blonde run her hand over the wooden crib that was untouched over the years. Her heart ached that it hadn't had a chance to be used but the bed against the wall would be used by their son. She wouldn't let Maura leave, she refused to let her leave.
Maura turned back to her, tears filling her eyes, "You did it just like we talked about."
She nodded as she moved forward, "Of course I did. Over the years I've added to it. originally it was just the crib and the typical baby stuff." She shrugged her shoulders as she stopped in the middle of the room, "Maura please don't leave."
Maura turned back to her, "Jane, I know we need to talk but this has all been…" Maura hesitated for a moment, almost struggling with words, "It's just so overwhelming right now. I didn't expect to run into Angela. I wanted to contact you first."
She felt her heart swell, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. Knowing that Maura had wanted to see her first was the highlight of her day. It took everything in her not to go to the woman, to pull Maura into her arms. She wanted that connection, needed to have that back but she didn't want to push the blonde too far too soon. She would let Maura come to her in her own time, but she would be damned if she let the woman run from her.
"Just knowing that you were going to come to me, is enough for now. Maura I can send everyone home. They'll understand." She attempted.
Maura shook her head, "You had this planned, and I don't want to come between you and your family. You need to continue living your lives, Jane."
She frowned, a hollow feeling entering her chest, "Maura you are family. You are my life, you always have been."
Maura wrapped her arms around her body, a frown crossing her face and the walls returning into place.
She shook her head, "Don't do that. Don't run from me. I can't take it Maur."
Maura shook her head, a deep sigh escaping her lips as she moved to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Maura sat gently before speaking, exhaustion in every word, "How much do you know about Salvador Lucchese?"
Jane leaned her hip against the crib, crossing her arms over her chest, "Not much. The FBI didn't give us much access after you disappeared. They agreed to work with us, but something happened, and they pulled everything from us and disappeared as fast as you did."
She frowned at the floor, the pain of it all still simmering inside her heart. She hated that she had the woman right in front of her, but Maura still seemed so far away. It wasn't right. She knew it wouldn't be a fairytale reunion, but this was still more than what she expected.
Then again, she wasn't sure exactly what she expected out of their reunion. She didn't expect so much anger. Pain she expected but not as much as she was feeling. The pain clutching her heart in vice grip, squeezing until she couldn't breathe. It was uncomfortable but she would let it happen if it meant having Maura this close again.
Maura's voice pulled her eyes up to the blonde's face, "I happened. My brother was at the first crime scene and my DNA was a familial match." Maura's lip curled in revulsion, "Dean wanted to keep it a secret from the others but someone on the inside relayed the information to Lucchese. My father and Lucchese had bad blood and I became the target."
She pinched the bridge of her nose, "Wait, we aren't talking about Arthur, right?"
Maura shook her head, "No. My DNA matched Patrick Doyle, my father is Paddy Doyle, and my brother is the infamous hacker, Colin Doyle."
She felt her heart beat faster in her chest, "You are Irish Mob Boss Paddy Doyle's daughter?" Her voice rose an octave uncontrollably.
Maura stared down at her hands in her lap as she nodded, "Yes. Paddy and Lucchese had been fighting over turf among other things. When the inside cop passed along that information Lucchese put a hit out on me because of Paddy. That's what set the FBI off. I was already in Witness Protection by then, but when the attack in the alley happened, I was taken by Lucchese's men. It was only after I escaped that Salvador learned I was Paddy's daughter."
She felt the panic attack slowly creeping up to her chest, "What did Gabriel do?"
Maura opened her mouth to respond but the door burst open downstairs and a familiar accented voice carried up to them, "Maura Isles get your ass down here now!"
She glared at the door, anger surging to the front of her mind, "I'm going to kill him."
Maura chuckled as she stood and crossed the short distance between them, "One quick thing Jane. I'm not Maura Isles anymore."
She turned to Maura, a sadness pressing in on her, "Because of the program?"
Maura shook her head, "Dean had my attorney change my last name back when I left the program, but he requested a slight change. If you don't like it I can have it changed back but I-"
She grinned at the babbling blonde, "Honey, you're babbling." The term of endearment had just slipped out and she was suddenly nervous that Maura wouldn't like it.
Instead, a smile spread across Maura's face before she said, "That's Doctor Rizzoli to you."
Her jaw dropped and arousal shot down her spine as she watched Maura walk out of the room. She couldn't get her legs to work, her body quickly on fire at the thought of Maura with her last name, the way it should have been to begin with. Her brain finally processed that Maura was no longer in her sight and she ran from the room, not bothering to shut the door. She found Maura at the top of the stairs looking down at someone.
She stopped behind Maura and looked down at her brother, "Frankie you have the worst possible timing."
Frankie grinned up at her before shaking his head, "Maura I swear if you don't come down here, I will come up there."
Maura crossed her arms over her chest and Jane couldn't help but admire the toned muscles that Maura had developed over the years. The blonde's body had only gotten better over the years and after having their kid, which she had to admit was a huge part of why she was still so drawn to Maura. Not the only reason but a big one, nonetheless.
Maura took the stairs slowly, her hand on the railing like some goddess descending the staircase to her throne, "I've missed you too Frankie."
Frankie's eyes teared suddenly but he quickly wiped them away before he pulled Maura into a tight hug, lifting her off the floor like Tommy had done, "It's so damn good to see you. When did you get back?"
She quickly descended the stairs as they hugged, and she frowned at the jealousy that quickly claimed her mind. Everyone had been able to touch Maura except her. She didn't count the hand holding to pull her up the stairs. She should have Maura in her arms. She should have been the first one to touch the woman, not her family.
A wave of unease and sadness circled her body. Obviously, Maura had no problem with touching, so it obviously had to be just her. Maura didn't want her to touch her, but she didn't know why. Why was Maura keeping a distance between them when she had no problem with anyone else in her family?
Maura stepped back from him, "Last night. I didn't know Angela worked at the Dirty Robber when I stopped in for lunch."
"Mommy!" Luca called before running straight at Maura.
Maura turned instantly and quickly caught the boy as he launched himself into her arms, "No running in the house Luca."
Frankie's eyes widened, "You have a kid that looks an awful lot like…" He trailed off as he looked at the three of them.
She smiled at him, "I didn't say anything at the time for a reason."
He only nodded before holding his hand up, "Hey Luca. I'm-"
"Uncle Frankie. I know." Luca grinned at him widely as he high fived Frankie's hand.
She grinned at her son, "Maura told him everything about the family apparently."
Maura nodded as she shifted Luca to a more comfortable position on her hip, "I haven't hidden much from him."
Luca's face scrunched up into a frown, "I'm not old enough for certain things yet."
Frankie glanced at Maura, "He got your smarts, didn't he?"
She laughed as Maura nodded happily, "Yes. He's advanced for his age but…" Maura trailed off.
It caught her attention as Maura's frown deepened suddenly and she smiled at Luca, "Luca why don't you take Uncle Frankie into the kitchen while I speak to Mommy for a minute."
Luca grinned as he held his hands out towards Frankie, "I'm helping Nonna with dinner."
Frankie took the small boy in his arms, "Really. What are we having?"
She smiled as she watched her brother carry her son towards the kitchen before, she turned back to Maura, "But what?"
Maura stepped into the living room, "I remember what it was like for me. My intelligence was the source of criticism from my peers. You know what I went through as a child Jane."
She grinned at Maura, "Hey, it'll be okay. You don't have to worry about that Maura."
Maura frowned up at her, "But he's-"
"Just like his Mommy and that is the best that could have happened to him. Heaven forbid he got my temper." She chuckled but quickly frowned as Maura wouldn't meet her eyes, "Wait, did he get my temper?"
Maura smirked, "Wait until you see his first tantrum. He is Jane Rizzoli all the way."
She groaned as she collapsed onto the sofa, "So Ma was right when she said I would get it someday."
Maura laughed as she sat beside her gently, "Yes." Maura's smile disappeared, "I can change my name back to Isles, but I would like for him to keep Rizzoli."
She shifted to face Maura, bending one leg on the sofa, "Do you not want my name?"
Maura shook her head, "I do but I don't want you to feel like it was forced."
"It wasn't. Maura, I have wanted you to have my name since we started dating. That hasn't changed. In fact, a lot of things haven't changed." She slowly reached her hand out to Maura's knee, giving the woman time to pull away. "I never stopped looking and I never would have."
Maura nodded, her hazel eyes shimmering with tears, "I know Jane. I warned Dean what would happen, but he didn't listen to me."
She frowned as she scooted closer, "What did Gabriel do? You seem to hate him more now than you did before."
Maura stood suddenly and began to pace back and forth, "In that alleyway, there had been a body in the dumpster. It was Antony Lucchese, Salvador's nephew. We were ambushed by Lucchese's men and Dean was knocked out from behind, but I noticed that he wasn't really paying attention to what was going on. He was only focused on me. I never thought anything of it until I had a lot of time alone, cooped up in hotel rooms."
She felt her anger rising but she knew it wasn't at Maura, "There was a lot of blood Maura."
Maura stopped her pacing, staring at her for a moment, "I was shot in the shoulder. I had been in the dumpster when the shooting started. Lucchese's men took me to a warehouse near Southie. He started asking questions about his nephew, but I didn't really have answers because I hadn't had a good look at Antony's body before the shooting started."
She nodded as she watched Maura's face, the exhaustion plain to see, "You look exhausted." She knew that bringing up the past wasn't helping with that and it could wait until Maura had slept fully.
Maura took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. It's been a long few days and I haven't slept much."
She nodded, "Does that mean you'll stay here?"
Maura smiled softly at her, "I would love to stay here Jane."
She grinned as she stood and held her hand out to her, "I don't want to push you into anything but could I-"
Maura took her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace.
Her body shivered excitedly at the contact. Maura's body had always fit perfectly with hers and now more than ever she realized just how much she had missed holding her. She wrapped an arm around Maura's shoulders while the other one slipped around the blonde's waist. She buried her face in Maura's neck, inhaling deeply, trying to take in all of Maura she could. The smell of Maura was intoxicating as they pressed tighter together, needing the contact more than she thought.
Her body hummed with excitement and arousal, her mind clouding over. All she knew, all she cared about in that moment was the woman in her arms. She didn't want to let go, couldn't let go even if she tried. Maura was home, back in her arms. She felt the soft skin of Maura's face rub against her cheek, sending a spark of fire across her face. She slowly leaned back, brushing her lips across Maura's jaw and hearing the woman's breath quicken.
She pulled back just enough to look into hazel eyes that were filled with as much desire as she felt. Their lips were close together, the puffs of air coming from their mouths mingling together before brushing over her face. She leaned forward, her lips barely touching Maura's as her heart pounded against her ribcage.
The front door opened and Korsak's voice called out, "Angela I brought the stuff you wanted."
She felt Maura jump slightly before quickly pulling away from her. She frowned. The sudden loss of contact nearly crippling. She stepped closer to the blonde at the look of fear on Maura's face, "Hey it's okay. It's just Korsak."
Maura nodded but she could see the fear still in the hazel eyes watching her, "I'm sorry. I didn't… I was…" Maura shook her head, "I should go check on Luca."
Before she could stop her Maura hurried out of the room, heading the back way to the kitchen. She frowned as she turned towards the front door and Korsak cocked his head at her, a question in his eyes.
She shook her head as she moved towards him and spoke quietly, "She's jumpy."
Korsak nodded, "She needs time to readjust Jane."
"I know but all of this, the entire family being here. It's making her nervous but every time I mention sending everyone home, she says no. That she doesn't want to stop us from living our lives."
"Makes sense." Korsak said as he turned to head outside.
She followed him out to his car, "Yes but this is the first time that we've had a family dinner in how long?"
"And whose fault is that?" Korsak asked, a slight firm tone in his voice.
She glared at him as he popped the trunk open, "I lost my world Vince. I'm sorry if I didn't want to shove my suffering into your face."
Korsak spun to her, stepping into her personal space, "You should have told us about the kid. You should have let us help you. We were all suffering. Maura is family and we do what we must to protect family. You of all people know that. You shut down and pushed us all away. Do not, for one second, think that you grieving your loss, would have been shoving it in our faces."
She felt her shoulders slump under the man she considered her father, the man she knew Maura considered a father. His words hit her harder than she expected, and she felt the tears come without warning. They spilled down her face as she stared at him, his eyes watching her with sympathy. He sighed heavily before opening his arms and she fell into his embrace. His arms wrapped around her tightly, keeping her on her feet when her legs shook. All the emotions she had been feeling since Maura had entered the Dirty Robber rushing to the surface and spilling out uncontrollably.
She gripped his shirt as the tears flowed with no sign of stopping. She hated showing her emotions but Korsak had seen her at her worst so many times over the years that she had come to rely on him in these moments. He was the one person besides Maura that she would ever allow to see her weak, to see her with her heart on her sleeve.
She had needed Maura, but she didn't realize just how much she needed the woman until she had held her in the living room. Maura was her whole world, her life and she would do whatever it took to keep her and their son safe. Even if that meant never letting Maura out of her sight again, work be damned.