An: I need to say again: In this fanfiction is spoken about sensible topics like, suicide, depression, panic attacks... In general mental health struggles.
After the day at the office Harvey found himself exhausted, not only did doing case work again really need brainpower. Haylay wanted constantly his attention.
Even though he had missed working, as he soon realised, it was much.
It gave him stability, a routine and after all, he liked being a lawyer. He liked proofing people wrong, doing something for justice and he liked being the one who speaks.
Still, after he, Haylay, Mike, Rachel and Donna came back to Mike's and Rachel's house he was relieved.
They were currently eating Pizza, listening to Haylays story about when her father showed her how to make Pizza.
"How is Louis?" Donna suddenly asked Harvey.
"He is Louis, talk's alot..." Harvey said, thinking about Louis name choices for his own child, which only made him chuckle.
"What did he do?" Donna asked.
"He wanted to name his child Prudence..."
"What?" Mike's jaw dropped.
"He can't be serious!" Rachel exclaimed.
"You told him that is a horrible name, right?" Donna asked.
"Believe me, I also told him Grodga was not a option"
"That's a name?" Donna asked in disbelief.
"Apparently... I also talked to Louis about... uh... Job possibilities." Harvey told them, fixating his eyes on her.
He wanted to know what she thought about it, but her face was just blank.
"You are going back to the firm?" Mike asked.
"Maybe, I kinda owe it Louis-"
"No you don't owe him anything" Donna protested.
"I do, I really did treat him a little tough..."
"That doesn't matter, the question is if you want to"
"I don't know" he told her frantic.
"Anyways, he invited us to a gala in a week..."
"Really?" Rachel asked.
"Yeah they want to manifest the name change and show solidarity, or something like that"
"You are going?" Donna asked.
It was more trying to figure out how Harvey felt about it, without saying something infront of Mike and Rachel that they didn't know.
"Are you going?" Harvey asked, looking her gaze.
"I am" She nonned resuring towards him.
"Then yes I am." He smiled at her slightly.
They both just looked at each other, communicating silently with each other, that it's going to be okay.
"We are going too, if anybody wondered" Mike said.
"What?" Donna and Harvey asked in unison.
"I said, Rachel and I are going too"
"Oh great" Harvey said trying to hide the fact that he didn't really care.
Not that he didn't like having Mike and Rachel around, but it was different. Important was that she would go, the thought of going back was freaking him out. But if she was going, maybe it's going to be okay.
"Where is the gala?" Haylay asked excited.
"In New York" Harvey told her smiling.
"I was never on a gala" Haylay said thoughtful, grinning from ear to ear.
"Sweetie, I don't think you can go to the gala..." Donna suddenly threw in.
"Why not?" Harvey frowned at her.
"What is a kid supoosed to do at a Gala?" Donna pointed out.
"But if she wants to go?"
"Harvey, a gala is very late"
"Yeah, but-"
"And the only thing that happens are polite talks and sharing some drinks" She contered.
"Come on" Harvey looked at her with puppy eyes.
"Please?" Haylay asked pouting.
"No."
"Why am I even asking you, I am a grown man!" Harvey said.
"Oh really?" Donna gave him the 'please we both know you are lost without me' look.
"Didn't you say yesterday that I wasn't getting any younger?"
"That doesn't mean you don't need supervision"
"She has a point there" Mike said grinning.
Harvey sighed, because he wasn't going to argue.
"But I wanna go" Haylay complained.
"How about this, you can't go to the gala, but I will show you New York."
"Can I see where your worked?"
"Sure"
"Can we also go shopping?" Haylay asked.
"I promise something can get arranged"
"Can we also go eat icecream?"
"Okay..." Harvey sighed, knowing he couldn't say no to her.
"And Donna need's to come too" Haylay reasoned.
"What, why?" Harvey looked at his niece confused.
"Because you are more fun when Donna is around" The little girl tells her uncle, like it's the most obvious thing.
"I am always fun"
"She is right, you are annoying without Donna" Mike said, using the situation to mock his friends.
"Hey, watch it!" Harvey said half mad.
"So do we have a deal?" Haylay asked.
"You need to ask Donna that"
"Donna can you go with me and uncle Harvey on a shopping-ice cream date in New York?" Haylay asked with wide eyes.
"Well, I guess" Donna said and then turned to look at Harvey directly, "But you are paying Mister".
"Got it" Harvey said grinning.
"Cool" Haylay sayed and then devoted her full attention to the piece pizza in her hands.
And again silence fell over them, not a unconftorble one though. Leaving Donna and Harvey both sitting there, in the realisation that Haylay just set them up on a date. And she didn't even realise it.
Four days later, they found themselves on a early morning on the Airport.
"Okay so when we now go off, you are going to hold my hand and not let go" Harvey told his niece.
"I know I know, you told me that the last time I am not dumb."
"Just please don't let go, I don't want a Kevin alone in New York situation"
"Oka-ay-ay"
"Good" Harvey said, giving her a wink and standing up to his own height again, holding his nieces hand.
Donna couldn't help herself and smiled at the sight, Harvey as a uncle was cute.
"What?" Harvey asked irritated.
"You are a adorable uncle" She told him.
"I just don't want her to get lost" he scoffed.
"Exactly, adorable."
Harvey rolled his eyes, but couldn't hold a grin back himself.
"Okay when you are both finished with your totally not flirting could we go now, I don't want to miss our flight" Mike mocked.
"Okay let's go" Harvey said rolling his eyes.
After they rushed through the airport, gave their suitcases up and went through security controls they finally arrived by the Passage lock.
"Flight Tickets please?" A man asked them.
"Of course" Mike said taking 5 tickets out of his pocket.
The man took the tickets, tore up one said of the ticket snd gave them the other side back.
"You are free to go, have a nice flight" He told them.
While they went through the the tunnel Rachel asked, "Okay which numbers do you guys have?"
"23" Donna said.
"12" Harvey said"
"13, I think" Haylay said.
"I have 28" Mike answered.
"Okay I have 24" Rachel told them.
"I'll take Mike's, so you can sit with Rachel" Donna reasond.
"Then you are sitting alone" Harvey realised.
"Yeah, we just see each other on the other end of the airport" Donna said.
"But you are scared of flights" Harvey protestet.
"I'll be okay, it's easier that way" Donna told him, trying to shake the subject of her.
"You are?" Mike asked.
"Yeah, but only a little-"
"You were shaking the whole flight and you were in full loss of words!" Harvey protestet.
"How about we don't change, Donna and Rachel are sitting together then?"
"Fine with me" Rachel said.
"It's not a big deal..." Donna tried again.
"Okay I guess that will work, now we should better get to our seats" Harvey said, not completely satisfied.
If he was being honest he still didn't feel calm, but he knew Donna was a grown women and Rachel would calm her.
They all fought themselves through the hectic and found their places, letting themselves fall on their seats.
Donna was sitting besides the Window looking out of it, trying to tell herself she had everything under control. That she could see the ground.
"I didn't know you were scared of flights" Rachel asked curiously.
"I am not really..."
"Really?"
"A little" She admitted.
"A reason or..."
"I just don't like not knowing what's happening, only the starts and landings are the bad part"
"Oh"
"Yeah, but it's really not that bad"
"And I thought you were nervous because we are going back to New York, and you are going to see everybody again" Rachel told her.
"Why would I be nervous?" Donna said confused.
"You haven't seemed that happy when Harvey mentioned it" Rachel explained.
"Shit, I didn't thought it was that obvious"
"So you aren't?"
"No no, I mean I am happy to see everybody again and I miss the city alot..."
"But?" Rachel asked.
"Okay I know this sounds selfish but..."
"You don't want Harvey to go back to the firm" Rachel realised.
"Yeah" Donna said making a grimaced face.
"Tell him that"
"I can't do that Rach, it's his life and he should do what is best for him"
"But I think if you would just tell him..."
"Rachel I can't do that, it's not my choice to make" She said sadly.
"What's your deal now anyway?" Rachel asked curiously.
"What do you mean?" Donna asked innocent.
"Oh come on, you definitely flirted!"
"That's just how we talk..."
"I thought we are over that"
"It's really nothing"
"So you are suddenly not in love with him?"
"Rach" Donna protested.
"I am serious, please?"
"Rachel believe me we are just friends" Donna said, but she even doubted herself.
"Just spill it out, something happened, didn't it?"
"Not really..."
"We are sitting in a six hour flight, I think you have it easier with me if you just tell me"
"Okay..."
"So what happend?"
"He went over to my apartment, that one day and we talked, a lot about... uh... stuff."
"Stuff?"
"Stuff."
"He told you he loved you?"
"No" Donna said, unsure how much she could, or should, say.
"But?"
"I did"
"You what?" Rachel asked with big eyes.
"I told him that I love him" Donna said feeling her face getting scarlet.
"And?"
"And what?"
"So what happend next?"
"Nothing really, we watched a movie and he fell asleep."
"What an asshole" Rachel said darkly.
"No it wasn't like that, I didn't want him to say it back, I just told him. But he didn't need to say anything back..."
"Donna..."
"No really Rachel there was no harm done"
"Wait a minute, so he was the whole night with you?" Rachel said, suddenly in realisation.
"Yes, why?"
"The next day he asked Mike to pick him up, I just assumed then that he... "
"He what?", Donna asked confused, but after a while she realised what her friend meant, "Oh"
"Look we got over the hard part, we are already in the air! I am a great distraction, or more your not not love life." Rachel grinned.
"We are" Donna said, now looking out of the window again.
She hated flying, she liked being in control, but flying didn't allow her that. And talking about her relationship, or her not relationship with Hsrvey didn't really sooth her.
If she was being honest with herself, the only thing that probably could call her down was Harvey. But she knew he had the responsibility to sit with his niece, he has no sort of need to sit with her. But she wished he would sit next to her.
It wasn't that Rachel didn't help, but it was diffrent.
Harvey looked into the crowd of people, Haylay currently jumping around besides him, her hand still in his.
"Uncle Harvey, look there they are!" Haylay said pointing at Rachel and Donna walking towards them.
Imidently Harvey sensed Donna was shaken, her skin was paler then usual and her eyes piercing in the air. Her hip swing not as smooth and elegant as usual.
"Hey" Rachel said waving towards them.
"Hey" Harvey said absently, his gaze lingering over the redhead.
She was slightly leaning on her suitcase and looed really tired. He needed all his willpower to not imidently step nearer and hug her.
"Mike isn't hear yet?" Rachel asked.
"He is on the toilet" Haylay told them.
"Not anymore" Mike announced, giving his wife a peck on the lips.
"Okay I think we should call cabs and get some rest, tommorow we need to help Louis with the gala and it's late" Donna told them.
"Okay" Mike said, already trying to get a cab to stop.
"We see each other in the morning." Rachel told Harvey.
Mike, Rachel and Donna had booked themselves hotel rooms, so that was where their ways would part for the evening and night. For a brief moment Harvey thought about telling them, that he had rented Mike and Rachel's apartment. But he didn't want to expose himself.
Mike who already now sat himself into the cap, followed by Rachel gave the cab driver the direction's.
Before Donna could also sat herself in the cab seats she looked back at Harvey, her eyes once again locking with his.
"You okay?" Harvey asked.
"Sure." Donna said, not so convincing.
"Right" Harvey said, rolling his eyes.
She gave him one resuring smile, telling him she was going to be okay.
"Goodnight Donna" Harvey said touching her forarms briefly.
Before Donna could think about it any more she leaned forward, nearly touching his lips with hers. Tempted to connect herself even more with him.
"Sweet dreams" She whispered.
And as fast as she nearly closed the distance, she moved backwards, stepping inside the cab. Closing the door, brief seconds later driving away.
Harvey standing there lost again, wondering really how it was possible for her to have so much control over him.
"Donna is really pretty" Haylay announced suddenly.
Which made Harvey smile, how he himself could have been so blind sll this years now felt unbelievable.
"She sure is"
"Are we going to your House?"
"It's a condo" Harvey corrected her.
"Potato, potahto"
After they both also got into a cab and arrived to the condo. Harvey carried his sleeping niece to his condo, laying her down in the guest bedroom and sitting down on his own bed himself.
It was weird being there again, he went there shortly before he came to Seattle, because he needed clothes. But except from that, the last time he was here he couldn't remember leaving. Because he thought he would leave for good.
A shiver ran down his spine, as he looked on his bedroom floor. Blood. It was faded, normally there was a carpet. But Harvey realised that the cleaning lady must have disposed it, so the 'evidence', wouldn't be visible.
His apartment had a light wood carpet, a sailed one. So the blood must have sucked itself into it, he knew it would be expensive to get that out.
A wave of nauseousness overcame him, pushing through his whole body. He took his blanket and threw it on the ground, because looking at it wasn't a option.
With a deep sigh, he took off his shirt and pants and leaned against his pillow. Being glad that he forgot to stop paying the cleaning lady.
He took his cell phone and turned it on. Two new messages. The first, one from Louis, he decided to ignore it for now. The second, one from Donna, he could have predicted that one.
Donna: Are you still awake?
It wasn't only the question if he was awake, more was it a question of how he felt. How he was holding up, because of course, she knew that going back to his apartment wasn't great for him in the moment.
He thought for a minute what he could write back, if he should make a joke? At the end, he decided that he wanted to be honest with Donna. Because she deserved it.
Harvey: Still awake, not really tired...
Only seconds Later Donna's respond came, making him instantly smile.
Donna: Trouble sleeping?
First Harvey wanted to write something back, but then he decided calling her was the best thing he could do. He wanted to hear her voice, he missed her already. A year ago he wouldn't have allowed himself to be okay with this thought, but now it was the most natural thing. He missed her, even after only a hour. So he called her.
"Somebody is missing me" Donna said half joking.
"No, yeah well... So how is the hotel?"
"It's okay, clean... How are you really?" Donna asked.
"It's okay, it's just-"
"Much?"
"Yeah, honestly I am not that excited about the whole helping Louis thing too"
"Oh come on, it's gonna be fun"
"Fun?"
"Yeha you know the usual, Louis doing Louis-stuff, you complaining, me trying to stop you... We both ending up making fun of Louis"
"If you say it like that it doesn't sound that bad" Harvey admitted.
"Have you thought about someone to watch over Haylay for tomorrow?" Donna asked, changing the subject.
"Yeah I have an idea, but I am not sure..."
"Who's your idea?" Donna asked curiously.
"Patrick"
"Who is Patrick?"
"I forgot you don't know him, he was my secretary"
"You have a thing for using your Secretarys for everything you need..." Donna said trying to sound annoyed.
"I don't-"
"Really?"
"Okay maybe, but I would pay him"
"How generous of you" Donna kids.
"I know I am such a nice man"
After he said that silence settled above them, both not wanting to hang up.
"Donna?" Harvey asked.
"Yeah?"
"Nobody knows"
"Nobody knows?" Donna questioned.
"Only Marcus, Bobby, my mother and well Haylay picked it up"
"And me"
"Just please could you not tell anybody?"
"Of course" She ressured him.
"Thank you"
"But you should tell them..."
"I know, but not now, it's not the right time and I am here to support them"
"I know"
"Donna?"
"You know that you don't need to ask me everytime, if you can ask me something"
"I know, but I like to say your name"
"Good to know"
"So...about the gala..." Harvey began, trying to form words and the courage to ask, what he wanted to ask her since he knew about the gala. "I thought that since we are both going, we could... go together?"
"Oh really?"
"Really" Harvey said, trying to sound as confident as he could.
"I would love to" She told him lovingly.
"Really?" Harvey asked in disbelief.
"I don't want you to get emberassed as the only single with fifty"
"I am not fifty yet" Harvey comolained.
"You are nearer to the fifty then to the fourty..."
"Are you calling me old?"
"What if I am?" She challanged.
"Then you are old too"
"Take that back!"
"You are only one year younger then me" Harvey reasoned.
"Stop it" Donna was complaining now.
"Well for what it is worth you don't really look older then when we first met" Harvey said, realising thst he probably shouldn't upset Donna.
"I know, I don't get old" She said detirmed.
"Yeah the only thing that changed really are your hair..."
"Oh yeah my bangs" Donna giggled.
"I liked them"
"Oh please, I looked ridiculous"
"You know when we first met your hair where more scruffy, after we came to the firm you always straightened them... But after we made partner you cut your bangs. And when I hired Mike your hair had a yellowish glance. But then they got extremly orange again and you used to curl them and they looked really fluffy. Now your hair are lighter, but still really orange and they are straigter then you ever used to have them.
"A nice way to say that my hair lost their volume"
"Okay I am really bad at this..."
"Oh really, you just got the revaluation?"
"I am trying okay..."
"Okay, sorry"
"What I meant to say was, your hair are prettier then they ever were, because they don't hide your face that much. And also, yeah you look more... mature now, I like it. It shows how far you have come and how strong you are." Harvey said thoughtful.
"I never thought you ever notices my hair" Donna said softly.
That he actually took notice of things like that made her knees week, she was just glad that she was lying in her hotel bed.
"Just because I didn't say it, doesn't mean I didn't notice it."
"Thank you Harvey"
"We should go to sleep now" He told her.
"Yeah, tommorow is going to be a big day."
"Will you come with me to the firm?" Harvey asked unsure.
"I assure you, you won't need to go alone"
"Good"
Both were lying in their own beds, looking at the ceiling, having their phone besides them. Neither of them having the courage to hang up, hearing only each others breathing through the speaker.
After a while they both fell asleep, still in mind the eager wish to feel the other one besides them.
to be continued...
Okay This really feels like the most boring chapter so far, but I didn't want to skip anything. Putting the gala thing directly in this chapter would be over the top, since thats probably going to fill already two chapters...
Or maybe I will give you a very long chapter for that, we will see...
I hope it still wasn't to bad...
If you have any suggestions/wishes about what could, or should happend, please let me know!
Please review, it always motivates me!