Disappointed Idealist

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It's easy to hate people.

If one would take a look at the resident Homo Sapiens on this planet, one might eventually come to the conclusion that these so-called human beings are pretty insufferable. You must understand how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are even more stupid than that.

Now, people have come up with bizarre and nasty ideas alike. We kill other animals for sport. It's fun. But if you ask Mr. Deer if hunting is a fun sport, I'm sure you'll get a very different answer. We kill other creatures for other reasons, and usually because they're pests. Of course, human nature isn't complete if we didn't kill each other. We kill other people, and why? Because they're pests, and it's fun.

Inevitably I've come to the understanding that humanity is overrated. However, there's an equality to it: we all suck. We're all equally overrated.

…

Since Hikigaya Hachiman had been ousted in his elementary days and ostracized by his peers, it wasn't just easy for him to dislike people - it became convenient.

Of course he'd tried to make changes and learn what was wrong with the way he approached people and social interactions. But it was difficult not to fall back into the ever comfortable state of detachment from everything. He didn't have to deal with his classmate's antics if he didn't interact with them in the first place.

Save for a few, who he could consider as friends, Hachiman did not pay much attention to anyone else. He passed time at the library or a deserted corner of the campus, and did not bother himself with the politics of the cafeteria. He didn't belong at any table - he was a nonconformist.

But because of his association with a certain fire queen, it was almost impossible for Hachiman not to be roped into a situation on an occasional basis. And however he tried to stay out of sight, he was noticed one way or another. Shizuka Hiratsuka noticed what Hachiman was trying to do.

That afternoon, after class let out, Hiratsuka-sensei summoned the cynical student to her office.

"Eh, sensei... I don't remember violating any rules and regulations recently? Unless you count being silent as an offense, I don't know why I'm here." Hachiman begrudgingly entered the door. His eyes were dull and his expression unamused as usual.

"Go, take a seat," Hiratsuka-sensei said. Hachiman complied, and sat in one of the chairs in front of his teacher's desk. "I want to talk to you."

"About what?" Hachiman slowly asked.

"How are you faring with your subjects? Any difficulties?"

"Well, none really."

"My co-teachers and the other professors have been mentioning you. You've been spending more time in the library, huh? And that's great. You were in the top achievers list in the four main subjects this month, which is surprising. But to be honest, I'm worried that you might be isolating yourself from your classmates again."

"I don't think of it that way."

"You don't think so? It's funny, because on all the assessments that you passed with flying colors, you were working alone. Otherwise, You had the lowest participation in group works. And no, everytime you partnered with Miura-san, you did everything by yourself."

"We have an efficient working ethics…" he insisted. "She keeps quiet, and I do my work."

"I see," Hiratsuka-sensei smiled, amused. "Will you tell me why the last time you two worked together, Miura-san seemed pretty hurt? I don't see you two together that often anymore, now I've thought of it."

"She's with her friends, Hayama-san, Ebina-san, Yuigahama... you know that, sensei."

Hiratsuka-sensei crossed her arms and stared quietly. "She's been down the other day. What did you say to her?"

Hachiman sighed guiltily. "I asked Miura to be the one to lower me into my grave when I die, so she can 'let me down one more time'. I was joking, obviously."

Hiratsuka-sensei burst into a fit of laughter. "Hikigaya-san, sometimes you confuse humor with insults. Now, Miura-san, she takes your words seriously so you shouldn't run your mouth off whenever." She chuckled, before relaxing into her armchair and continuing. She looked at Hachiman fondly. "You kind of remind me of myself, Hikigaya-san, back in the days. You're not much of a team player, are you?"

"Well, it's not like I bought a wardrobe of jerseys to wear. I don't worry if I'm not a team player. By myself, I'm not holding anyone back, and no one is holding me back. Why should I be concerned if I'm not bothering anyone?"

"Oh, but you are." Hiratsuka-sensei stood up and walked over. Hachiman also got up his seat, getting ready to leave. "If you keep on going down this path, Hikigaya-san, where do you think you're going to pick up?"

"Well, I don't know sensei, but you're just a single highschool teacher, so…"

BAM! In a split-second, Hachiman was reeling from the brutal punch to the gut. He hadn't even seen the blow coming. He doubled over, gasping.

"Augh! S-Sensei..."

Hiratsuka-sensei was smiling over him darkly. "Hikigaya-san, word of advice: smartasses don't live very long." She cracked her knuckles menacingly, before strolling back behind her desk and sinking into her armchair. Her expression became gentle again. Hachiman peered up cautiously. "And one more thing, I'm going to assign you to post as a chaperone for a baseball game these following weekends. Kids from the neighbouring Takasu elementary school are coming over to practice for the winter playoffs. Think of this as another character-building activity I'm giving you."

"Forcing, not giving," Hachiman corrected. But he slipped out the door before Hiratsuka-sensei could strike him with a flying board eraser.

…

The last time Hachiman went to a maid café it was purely out of curiosity. Needless to say he was disappointed, but what was he expecting? In any case, it was no different from an ordinary café. Once you go past the fact that the waitresses in fact don't know a word in French and the guests are more often than not deranged office workers, it's nothing worthwhile. Miura used to work at cafés before as a side job, and apparently, still did. Hachiman knew Miura Yumiko was too smart to be a waitress. But then again, she did have the charms - now, if only she wasn't as hot-headed.

Miura was not expecting her friend to appear in her workplace at all. She was shocked.

"The hell are you doing here?" Miura immediately demanded upon walking up to Hachiman's booth.

Hachiman shrugged. "I wanted to see you, I guess."

"Shut up. For real, why of all places did you choose this café?"

"Am I not welcome here?"

"Well, it's just weird for you, isn't it?" She said. She put her hands on her hips and huffed, her eyebrows furrowing. "So, whaddya want? Cake?"

"Just coffee is fine."

Hachiman could not help but stifle a laugh, seeing Miura grumble as she marched back behind the counter. She disappeared into the kitchen area and returned a minute later with a tray loaded with a coffee pot, sugar and a cup.

Miura was watching Hachiman with slight suspicion. She set down the mug in front of him and poured the dark, aromatic liquid into it. "You want that bullshit in your coffee?" Miura asked impatiently.

Hachiman was too amused to pay full attention. Miura had on a pair of pointy white cat-ears, and wore a frilly dress over her dark stockings. Her emerald green eyes were piercingly sharp. She seemed more like a tigress than a cat however. He was smirking at her. "Creamer? Yeah," he said.

She obeyed, and mixed in a teaspoon of powdered cream in his drink. Miura left the pot but took the tray and disappeared again.

Things were beginning to seem comfortable for Hachiman, before Miura returned again. She walked up to Hachiman without him noticing, as he was too busy flipping through the book he'd brought with him. "What'chu reading for?" Miura asked in a sharp voice, that startled Hachiman and caused him to spill a drop of hot coffee on his thumb.

Hachiman stared at Yumiko silently. Inwardly, he was wondering why she wouldn't leave him alone. She didn't ask what was I reading, Hachiman thought, but what was I reading for. Hachiman started building up a slow temper.

"Well damn it, you stumped me Miura-san." Hachiman hummed pensively. He scratched his cheek. "Hmm… why do I read?" He mused furiously. "I guess I read for a lot of reasons, and the main one is so I don't end up… being a fucking cat-girl waitress!" He snapped. "Fairly high on my lists of reasons," he added gently.

Yumiko turned maroon with irritation. "H-Hikio… ugh! You're being so mean!"

Hachiman smiled at her cruelly, before blowing on his cup of coffee and sipping. He turned his attention back to the book he was reading.

But then another cat-girl waitress walks over after hearing the commotion and leans behind Hachiman. She had a black-themed attire, and seemed to take after a tomcat. She was also tall and pretty attractive, with ruby-red eyes. "Well, well. Looks like we've got a reader in the house," she grinned, almost mockingly.

Hachiman glanced at them as if bewildered. He assumed that the other cat-girl was Miura's friend. "What the hell," he huffed. "It's like you two are the freaking Gestapo and I'm living in an Orwellian-fucking-dystopia."

"Say what?" The other girl pouted.

Hachiman banged his palm onto his head. "Exactly. OK, so I read. There, I said it."

Yumiko was curious. "Well, why read when you can just scroll through Twitter or something?"

"B-Because it's not the same," Hachiman cringed, turning his lips into a twisted smile. "What do you think I'm reading, Miura-san? The Story of Mainstream Nonsense?"

"Ne, Yumi-chan. Your friend is pretty temperamental. But I like him already," the waitress mused.

"Alright, miss, leave me to finish my coffee and I'll take you out later," Hachiman shot back. The girl simply giggled and winked at him before slinking away.

Miura followed behind her friend, but not before glancing back at Hachiman and staring at him seriously, waving a finger at him.

Later, Miura was not too happy to find that Hachiman had waited for her on her way out. They walked towards the train station together. Miura started asking why he went out of his way to find her.

"I did want to talk to you," he said.

"Yeah?" Miura said bashfully. "After you've been avoiding me for the past few days?"

Hachiman shook his head. "No, I wasn't avoiding you. I know I've been mean, and I'm sorry," he said in a low voice, glancing away from her and up at the sky.

"Hoh? What's that? I can't hear you."

"I said I was an asshole. Alright?"

"Damn straight," Miura scoffed, grinning.

"Anyways, Hiratsuka-sensei spoke to me this afternoon."

"About what?"

Hachiman explained. "You know how you're now hanging out with your old clique? And not avoiding Hayama-san anymore? Well, now it kinda looks like I've been left out of the scene again. Hiratsuka-sensei is always hounding me to make more friends, and really, I don't know why. I just have that kind of face, you know - everyone just walks up to me and asks, 'what's wrong?'"

"Well maybe if you tried to smile more, that'll do it. Y'know it's pretty easy to smile."

"Well you know, it's also pretty easy to leave me alone. How about that? Watch me really start smiling when I'm alone."

"You're hopeless," Miura sighed sadly.

"I don't have a lot of friends," Hachiman said. "That's kind of hard to believe, huh? With my winning personality, you'd think people would be clamouring over each other to hang out with Mr. Positive Vibes here," he laughed dryly. "Girls going, 'where's the guy that hates everything I believe in?' But, ah... no."

"Because Hachiman, Mr. Dead-fish-eyes, Say-fuck-every-other-word-out-of-your-mouth, 'disappointed idealist' you," Miura retorted indignantly, "maybe - just MAYBE, it's not other people who has a problem. It's you."

"If I'm problematic, then other people made me this way."

"S-See? You're blaming other people again. It's like, you're a psychopath or something."

"Spare me, Miura-san. If I was anyone else, I'd have gone on a killing spree already," Hachiman muttered.

"Well, anyways… thanks for dropping by, I guess. I didn't expect you."

"Don't mention it. I just wanted to be nice for a change."

"Ha, you're funny," Miura rolled her eyes. "Anyways, me and my friends are gonna hang out this weekend, and maybe you'd like to- "

"No thank you."

"You didn't let me finish!"

"No need."

"But what about the last time? You were alright with it. What's the matter?"

"I'm not sticking around with your friends for more than a minute, because I'm certain that I'll die."

"What about me?" Miura perused.

"Well damn it, you're bearable, Miura. I like you. But the rest of your friends, I couldn't care less about."

Miura blushed deep-red, and recoiled instantly. "W-What?! You like me?! As in, l-like..."

"No, you idiot," Hachiman snapped.

Miura hit his arm. "Don't call me an idiot! It's your fault saying bullshit like that." She sighed, before looking away. "If that's the case, then we can just hang out by ourselves... I don't really mind."

Hachiman then remembered what Hiratsuka-sensei had told him, and turned to Miura with an idea. "Then if you're agreeable to it... I might ask for your help a bit."

.

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A.N. I felt like I ought to push out a new chapter for this story. Just to take a little pause from writing my main project. What the hell, it seems readers kinda found it funny. I'm chasing this crack ship fanfic like a hound, and I dont really know what I'll do when I reach the end of it.. if y'all really want more, then I'll just have to write on. I think I've got two, three following chapters next to this.