It had been a couple more months, and we had someone new on the bus to take up Irene's time while Clu and I became better friends. Carey, Clu's older brother had moved on board. The whole family was nice for being so good looking. I really liked him, but he was no where as sweet as his brother. I always got a soda when I sat down at the table from Clu. He always let me win at cards. And our new ritual was letting him watch me paint. He stopped trying to analyze them, though I secretly wanted him to. I had a feeling he was, he just wasn't saying it out loud.

"That one's extraordinary, E. Like seriously."

"Thanks buddy." That was our new joke. Friends were buddies, so besides "E" that's the name we used most. Clu was already a nickname for Cluett, so I didn't know what to call him besides "C", which did not fit him at all.

"I'm dead serious," he stood up and got really close to the paint. "This one is like… you know when it's raining outside, and you feel that coolness on your skin?" He blew his breath out on the painting, and it bounced off and hit my hand. A tremor went through me.

Yes.

"But inside you feel warm because it's cozy to hear the rain on the roof when you're inside under a blanket." I thought of us under that blanket.

YES.

"That's what this painting is." He nodded his head like "done" and took a bite of his apple.

I shook my head. "You nailed it. I don't know how. I literally named this one 'After the rain'."

"You did not," he said grinning.

I turned the painting around and showed him where I'd written on the wood of the frame in Sharpie.

He raised his arms in triumph.

"I love the rain," I said. "It does things."

"It's like Lucretius said: 'The drops of rain make a hole in the stone, not by violence, but by oft falling'." He took another bite of apple.

I stared at him. "You're so smart," I said.

He grinned again and fell on my bench and went back to alternating between gazing at my painting and reading a motorcycle magazine.

"We're back," called Irene. Clu jumped up and opened my door to make sure we looked innocent. She poked her head in. "What are you guys doing?" she asked.

Clu shrugged. "She's painting."

"I can see that son. Just… never mind." She handed him another car magazine from their trip to the store and walked out.

Carey came in and fell on the bench next to Clu. "Guys, can you believe we'll be home soon?" he asked.

We were stopping in their home town of Hope Springs Colorado, so we could visit Irene's sister and then a gig for Molly downtown.

"Well, not my home," I said. Everyone in the band and on the road crew lived in Hope Springs year round. I was the only one who didn't.

"We'll give you the grand tour. Show you the spots," said Carey. He winked at me and I pursed my lips to keep from laughing. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Clu nudge him.

Carey shrugged and cleared his throat. "I mean, I'm sure Clu would love to take you around."

"Dude," Clu whispered.

I focused on my canvas. I was pretty sure Carey could see right through me. That I was fairly hopeless around Clu. But Clu hadn't done anything yet. So either Carey was teasing me, or he was trying to set us up, and Clu wasn't interested in that way. I absentmindedly touched the necklace he'd given me. What kind of guy bought jewelry for a girl, and then did nothing to capitalize on the gesture? He hadn't tried to hold my hand, touch me, or even tell me he liked me. It had been too months, and I was beginning to believe that he wasn't interested at all. He'd said he wanted to be friends. I'd have to take him at his word for now.

"What's this?" asked Clu picking up my application letter for San Diego State. I'd been obsessed with their art program for years. It was my top choice, and I was super proud of my letter.

Clu read over it. "Hey, you want me to mail this out for you? I'm sending mine tomorrow."

"Would you?" I asked. "That's so sweet." That's what friends did right?

"Yeah, no problemo."

….

The bright green was blinding. I sat alone, the darkness closing in. "Why are you doing this to me?" I asked. I pulled my knees up and hugged them, burying my face.

"Ye've a choice to make," said a voice. "Yer the one to break the curse if ye be brave enough."

"What choice?" I yelled into the void. "You've taken everything away from me!"

"'Tis not I who've done that."

I sat up, trying to catch my breath. I clutched at my heart as it pounded away in my chest. This had become a problem. Jumping out of bed, I threw on a jacket over my Better than Ezra tee shirt and shorts. I needed air. We'd parked the bus at a rest stop so Ned could get some sleep. Tomorrow we'd be in Hope Springs.

I stepped out of the bus and spied a picnic table a few yards away. I sat down and pushed my hair back, staring up at the stars and breathing in the fresh pine scent. The air was chilly, and I wrapped my jacket tight around my shoulders.

A new piece of my dream. I was no Fi, but I was beginning to absolutely believe that the dream meant something. I'd have to tell her about this new development tomorrow. I couldn't keep waking up at one am to cold sweats.

"Hey, you ok?" asked a voice in the dark.

I jumped. "Clu." I put my hand over my heart. He was in his baggy pajama pants, a white tee shirt and barefoot. He walked to me over the pine needles on the ground. He rubbed the back of his head yawning.

"What are you doing out here?" He sat next to me, and I felt the familiar heat rise in my chest.

"I… I couldn't sleep. Bad dream."

He nodded. "Same one you told Fi about?"

"Yeah." I pulled my hair to the side of my head and started to braid it distractedly.

"Can I help?" he asked.

I looked over at him. His blue eyes were regarding me with interest, and not for the first time did I want to smooth his eyebrows, as they stuck out in different directions from his laying on his pillow.

"You're so sweet. I don't know if there's anything anyone can do. I just have to figure it out. If there's anything to figure out."

"Like Carl Jung said: 'Who looks outside, dreams, who looks inside, awakes'. Maybe that's your answer, you know? You just have to have the courage to explore your fears."

I stared at him wide eyed again. Whoever it was in his life who told him he was stupid was grossly misinformed. It was insane to me. He may talk like a clueless surfer dude, but he was no such thing.

"I've never met anyone like you," I said. I closed my eyes immediately in embarrassment. I was sleep deprived. That's why I had no filter.

He turned to look at me. "You make me feel smart," he said.

"You make me feel heard."

The world slowed down. The stars swirled in the sky above us, and the air grew sweeter. It was happening. He leaned in toward me. I could hear his heart beating. I felt the earth move below my feet. Our eyes fluttered shut.

"It's freezing out here," said Jack. "What are you guys doing?"

Clu and I blew apart. "Jack," I said, my hand on my throat.

"Sorry, did I interrupt?"

"Nah man, we were just…"

"We were…"

"Talking philosophy."

"Right philosophy."

"What are you guys doing?" Carey had now joined us outside. "I woke up to an empty room."

"Stargazing," I said. Was the whole bus about to rush out the door?

Carey darted his eyes between Clu and I and nudged Jack with his elbow, nodding back to the bus. Jack's eyes opened wide in understanding. He smiled at Carey and gave us some gun fingers.

"What are you all doing out here?" Irene was leaning out the bus door. Her eyes were fixed solely on me. I groaned quietly in the back of my throat. So much for any more alone time. I hopped off the seat. "It's late guys," she said. "Get back to bed."

She waited until we were all inside, and made sure we were in our rooms, the doors closed before she went back to hers.