"Yukine, I'm sorry! Please don't kill us!"
Hiyori, who had intended to apologize first, was caught off-guard as Yato immediately knelt at Yukine's feet and clapped his hands together in fervent apology.
"Hiyori, you too! Apologize to our son!" he insisted, tugging her down next to him.
"Who is your fucking son, huh?!" Yukine said, smacking Yato upside the head. "I don't remember having a piece of groveling shit for a dad!" He glared down at them, arms crossed, and Hiyori did not envy Yato's cold sweat at all.
I should say something but... Yukine-kun is TERRIFYING right now! she thought, shaking slightly with apprehension.
"Well, what do you have to say for yourself, you bastard?" Yukine sneered. "Just how long do you think I've been waiting, wondering if Hiyori was alright, and on top of that, do you have any idea how fucking gross you sound?! YOU ARE NOT QUIET, AT ALL."
Both Hiyori and Yato went scarlet.
"Sorry!" they both said together, putting their heads down in unison. "Please forgive us! We were wrong!"
Yukine sighed, but instead of the blow they were both expecting, there was the familiar clink of bowls being set down on the table.
"Get up already, I'm starving. And if either of you start acting gross around me I'm leaving, got it?!"
"Yukineeee..."
"Yukineeee-kuuun..."
"EW, and wipe your nasty snotty faces right now! What are you, grade school kids?!" He grabbed a towel and cleaned Hiyori's face off for her, then threw it at Yato unceremoniously. "WIpe your own fucking face," he growled as Yato gave him a sad, hurt look. "I don't get fucking paid enough to deal with this shit, fucking hell," he grumbled.
Hiyori chuckled slightly, wiping at the corner of her eye. "Thank you, Yukine-kun. I really am sorry to have worried you."
"Whatever," he said, sitting down at the table. "A-as long as you're feeling better now," he said as he blushed, avoiding her eyes. Yato flinched slightly but Yukine shot him a murderous look before he could say anything. "That's your own stupid fault, do not even with me right now."
Yato wisely kept his mouth shut, and Hiyori cleared her throat, pretending she didn't understand what they were talking about.
"Um... about earlier... I didn't mean to cry like that. It's not like me," she admitted, taking a seat next to Yukine. "I don't know what came over me, I just couldn't stop."
"But what happened?" Yukine asked, holding a hand out for her bowl so he could fill it with rice from the cooker. "When I went to go pick up your body, I had to sneak it out of the infirmary, but it wasn't hurt or anything."
"Kazuma, apparently," Yato said, serious once more as he joined them. He reached for the leftover curry that Yukine had reheated and was immediately slapped away by a spoon. "He told her some unnecessary shit," he added, nursing his hand.
"Unnecessary?"
Hiyori drooped, feeling exhausted. "Kazuma-san came to my school and... he told me... he said that I need to cut ties with you both, as soon as possible."
"WHAT?! WHY?"
"'Cause Heaven is full of prudes with thousand-year-old sticks up their asses," Yato scoffed. "If I had a five yen coin for every time some self-important shithead tried to tell me off over a stupid rule... tch!"
"Kazuma-san said that Heaven forbids humans and gods from being together," Hiyori clarified, picking up a set of chopsticks.
"Since when?! You've been hanging out with us and a bunch of other gods for years," Yukine said, and though it wasn't scooped as nicely as Hiyori's, he still filled Yato's bowl before serving himself. The other two went quiet, focusing on their food.
"Well... you know," Yato muttered through a mouthful of curry.
"Mm," Hiyori agreed, blushing furiously and now wishing she could just turn back time and extricate herself from the mortifying situation altogether.
Yukine choked.
"OH," he managed once he'd cleared his airway. It took him only another second to go from embarrassed to furious. "Hold on," he said, voice steely. "You're telling me that Kazuma LITERALLY told Hiyori, today, that it was a big problem if you two were together... and not even an hour later you just fucking went for it anyway?!"
Hiyori dropped her body and hurried to restrain Yukine just as Yato narrowly avoided being impaled by Yukine's chopstick.
"Wait, WAIT!" she pleaded.
"Lemme go, Hiyori! I'm gonna rip him to pieces, I swear I will!"
"Yukine, you bastard, you almost got my eye!"
"HOLD STILL SO I CAN GET IT PROPERLY!"
"STOP!"
"LET GO! THIS FUCKER MIGHT HAVE A DEATH WISH, BUT I DON'T! HOW DARE YOU PUT US IN DANGER, YOU FUCKING DICK STAIN?!"
"Yukine-kun, please! The taboo isn't specifically about... about that!" Hiyori cried, putting Yukine into a headlock. "It's just about us being together as... as a couple!"
Yukine kicked out at Yato but missed, still struggling to free himself. One of the bowls crashed to the floor and shattered.
"Even then, he fucking knew that too!" he seethed. "He's known all along! DIDN'T YOU THINK MAYBE IT WAS IMPORTANT TO TELL US?! It's your fucking fault that Hiyori was tricked into dating you-!"
"I wasn't tricked!" Hiyori shouted. A sudden gagging noise made her realize that she was crushing Yukine's windpipe and she let go quickly. "Sorry! Are you okay?!"
"Yukine, don't die!" Yato cried, slapping the boy on the back hard. Wheezing, Yukine turned to glare at them both.
"I refuse to die before I've buried you, you shitty old fuck!" he growled. "And even if you agreed, Hiyori, he's the one who brought it up! It's his fault no matter how you look at it!"
"No!" she insisted, fists clenched. "I l-love Yato! I loved him way before he said we were dating! For years! Even if I'd known about the taboo, I... I wouldn't be able to stop loving him!"
Yato swayed behind Yukine, dazed, and fell over into a curled ball.
"Gods in Heaven, I can die with no regrets now!" he said, hiding his face behind his hands.
"Great," Yukine said menacingly, grabbing his master by the shirt. "I've heard your wish loud and clear."
"N-no!"
"WHAT IN THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON?!"
They all froze in place and turned to find Daikoku glaring furiously at them and the mess they'd made, Kofuku watching with barely concealed amusement behind him.
"Oh fuck," Yukine said, going visibly pale. The other two immediately started shaking.
"YATOOOOOO!"
"Run for it!" Yato shouted suddenly, grabbing Hiyori's body around the waist and tucking her under his arm before sprinting out the screen doors at top speed. Yukine wasted no time following as though his life depended on it.
"WAIT! MY BODY!" she shouted, jumping after them.
"GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE SHITS! I'LL KILL YOU!"
Yasumi was watching television downstairs when a sudden knock on the window startled her. She got up slowly, mentally preparing herself to fight an intruder, but then a pair of golden-brown eyes peeked around the glass doors in the parlor and she hurried forward.
"Yukine?" she asked, throwing the door open. "What are you doing here? I thought you said you wouldn't contact me unless it was an emergency?"
He looked rather battered, with cuts on his face and hands, and his clothes torn in a few places. He also seemed to be in a terrible mood.
"Yeah, I know, but some shit went down at home and I've gotta cool down before I go back and kill that fucking asshole," he spat.
"Huh?!"
"Nothin'," he grumbled. "Just let me crash here a bit, yeah? I'm not in the mood to hang out with the usual crowd."
"Uh, I mean, I guess it's okay?" she said, stepping aside nervously. He trudged in, but not before taking his shoes off.
He's got some manners, at least.
"My mom's not home yet, but she'll be back soon. Do I tell her you're a school friend or...?"
"She won't see me, remember?" he said, tossing his shoes at the entryway carelessly.
"Not even your shoes?"
"Eh, she'll see them, but the memory that she saw them will be gone almost immediately so it's the same thing. Don't worry 'bout it."
They stood awkwardly in the hall before Yasumi remembered that she was the host.
"Oh, uh, just, come in, I was watching tv, so sit wherever."
She half expected him to throw himself onto the couch haphazardly but to her surprise he sat down politely in a corner seat.
"What?" he asked crossly.
"No, I just... I was surprised you're being so... well-mannered," she said without thinking.
"Hah?! What's that supposed to mean?!"
"Well, you know... You've got that whole... school delinquent thing going. Bleached hair, tattoos, street clothes, cursing all the time and breaking into girls' bedrooms... I just thought you'd behave like one too."
He sputtered. "I do NOT have bleached hair or tattoos! I told you, this is my Name!," he said, tugging his collar to show the red mark on his shoulder. "And I was born with this hair color, what the fuck!"
"Huh," she said, not at all fazed by his anger. "Interesting."
His eye twitched slightly but when he spoke it was in a calmer tone.
"For fuck's sake, every single one of you drives me nuts," he complained. "Hiyori and Yato are bad enough," he muttered under his breath.
"Who's Hiyori?"
"None of your business!" he said churlishly. "You're super nosy, you know that?!"
"Well sorry," she said, sitting down and un-muting the television. "I was just making conversation."
"As if, you're always asking me a million questions!"
"Yeah, cause you never answer my texts!"
"Hmph!" he said, leaning back into the couch moodily. "I told ya not to put dangerous info in writing."
"I don't even know what you mean by 'dangerous', cause you never answer when I ask!"
"Just... stuff about you or your job, or whatever!" Yukine said.
"Why is that dangerous?!"
"'Cause it is! Just don't do it!"
This little brat, I wanna kick his ass, Yasumi thought angrily. It had been a little under a week since she'd called him, and she'd almost forgotten how irritating he could be.
"Whatever! Can I ask now then?!"
"Ask what?!"
"The Sight!" she exclaimed. "You said I'd get the Sight, but I haven't seen anything!"
He gave her a completely disinterested look.
"The hell would I know?" he scoffed. "All I know about it is you can sense me, even when I'm not actively trying to catch your attention, and what Yato's told me. For all I know you'll start seeing shit tomorrow, or it could be in two months. Beats me how this works!"
"What?! You made it sound like you knew all about it!"
"I just told you what I heard," he said, rolling his eyes. "I know nothing else about it."
"So... you're useless in other words," she said coldly.
"Say that to my face, you ugly bitch!" he snarled, getting to his feet.
"I just did, you dipshit!" she countered, itching for a fight.
"Yasumi, what in the world are you doing?"
Both kids gave a start as Kobayashi Hana walked in on their posturing. She stood still for a good moment, and Yasumi realized she was seeing and forgetting Yukine all in the same breath.
"If you're not watching television, turn it off," she scolded. "Don't waste electricity."
She walked right past them into the hall, and both Yukine and Yasumi let out a sigh of relief, tension defused.
"Man, that scared me," he said, falling back into his seat. "For a sec I thought she'd noticed me for sure."
"I thought you said she wouldn't notice no matter what you did?" Yasumi said, frowning.
"Yeah, she won't... unless she's particularly sharp. Sometimes people with the Sight won't forget us right away. It's more likely to happen if we're doing something that catches attention, but thankfully she doesn't seem to be that sensitive." He pulled his phone of his pocket and began typing something quickly. "I'll go in a little bit, just checking if my god is awake or drunk out of his mind," he said by way of explanation.
"Gods can get drunk?!"
"Yeah," he shrugged. "There's stories about it too, right? They've got individual personalities and tolerances and all that, just like normal people. Well... sorta. Anyway, Yato's a lightweight, he gets shit drunk real fast. It makes him real clingy and more annoying than usual, but at least it means he won't be paying attention if I sneak back in."
"Huh, interesting. So what's he like? Your so-called 'god'," she grinned, unable to resist the jab.
"Yato? He's pretty much the worst," he said flatly. "He's a dumb-ass, self-important deadbeat. He's got this insane delusion that he's gonna be a big-name god someday, but he'll fall for any old scam and waste his money almost as soon as he gets any. Worse, he'll waste my fucking money. If times are rough he'll freeload off whatever idiot he can convince, or straight up bum it on the streets. If I don't work, we pretty much won't eat," he said, a look of total disgust on his face.
"Yikes," she said with a twinge of sympathy. "He sounds like a total piece of garbage."
Yukine stiffened.
"Yeah, he is, but he's also decent... sometimes," he said grudgingly. "And he's really strong, stronger than pretty much any of the gods in Heaven. He isn't just one of Amaterasu's puppets either, he won't follow shitty orders just because she says so." He straightened up slightly. "He's dumb, and clumsy, and trouble's always finding him, but he works really hard to be a proper god of fortune, and he listens to me when it counts. I wouldn't have become a Blessed Regalia for any god I didn't want to protect, even if he is a pain in the ass."
Yasumi giggled at his earnest expression.
"What?!"
"You're proud to be his Regalia, huh?" she said, resting her cheek on her palm. "You were so upset at him earlier, but now you're trying so hard to defend him."
She stifled a laugh as he went beet red.
"Y-you're way off," he growled.
"Sure," she said, raising an eyebrow. "You should go home, he's probably worried about you."
"A-as if!"
"I've got better things to do than listen to your complaining," she grinned at him. "Go home, shrimp."
"Don't call me a shrimp, ugly."
"Don't call me ugly, daddy's boy."
"You...!"
"No, seriously, get out," she said, rolling her eyes. "I've got a bunch of homework and you're fine now, right?"
"Yeah, whatever," Yukine snapped. He got up and she followed him into the hall, where he retrieved his shoes and pulled the door open himself. "Oh, but if you do start seeing anything, call me right away," he added. "It's important you don't go wandering around like an idiot."
"Aye aye, Captain Tsundere."
"Die."
"Maybe later," she said cheerfully as he slammed the door behind him.
"Yasumi? Did you go outside?" Hana called from the kitchen.
"Yeah, I thought someone was knocking!" she lied. She locked the door and returned to the living room.
Yatogami... she mused, eyes on the television screen even as her thoughts were elsewhere. Yukine really likes him, whatever he says about him. A strong god who doesn't like to follow orders from Amate-
"AMATERASU?!" she shrieked aloud. As in, THE Amaterasu?!
"Yasumi?! Why are you yelling?!"
What the hell have I gotten myself into here?!
"I-I'm back!"
There was the loud sound of feet coming down the stairs and then Hiyori's mother was fussing all over her.
"Oh, Hiyori, where have you been?! The school called to say you'd fainted, and then you just disappeared in the middle of the day!"
"Oh, uh, I um... I had a fit is all. I spent the rest of the day studying in the library by myself because I wasn't feeling well," Hiyori lied guiltily. I can't tell her I just ran off and spent the day with a guy! she thought, but that just made her feel even worse as unbidden memories came to mind.
"You're all red! Do you have a fever?"
GAH, OF ALL THE THINGS TO REMEMBER RIGHT THIS SECOND-!
"I'm sorry!" she apologized, bowing. "I didn't mean to worry you!" Sorry, Mother, my body might be untouched, but I gave my purity away and to a god of all people! I absolutely can never tell you about it! "I'm okay, just tired," she added, pretending to check her own temperature. "I'll go to bed early, if that's okay."
"If you're sure, Hiyori," her mother said, looking far from assured. "I'll bring you up some tea."
"Thank you, Mother."
Thirty minutes and a bath later, Hiyori tugged on a nightgown and crawled under her sheets, exhausted. Yato and Yukine had fled across the city before she caught up with them and reclaimed her body, and even then they'd argued for a while longer until night fell. They'd walked Hiyori home, bickering all the way.
"Where will you stay tonight?" she'd asked, worried.
"Eh, Daikoku will calm down in a little while," Yato shrugged. "Yukine at least should be able to go back with a peace offering. I'll lie low for a day or two, just in case."
"And about what Kazuma-san said?"
His expression softened and he took her hands. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it. But promise me, if you see any gods or shinki you don't know, you'll call me or Yukine right away."
"And don't go around in your ayakashi form on your own," Yukine warned, still looking ticked off. "I won't forgive either of you if Hiyori gets killed over this, got it?!"
"O-okay, I promise," she'd agreed. "But you have to be careful too, Yato, Yukine-kun. You two are my precious family. I don't know what I'd do if I lost either one of you."
"Leave it to us, it'll take a whole lot more than Takamagahara to tear us apart. You wished for it, after all," Yato had grinned.
Wishes... she thought, turning to face the wall. It can't hurt.
"Gods in Heaven," she prayed aloud. "Please don't take Yato and Yukine-kun away from me. I want to be with them forever, no matter what."
"You should pray to me, not Heaven."
She flung the sheets aside as she turned and found Yato sitting on the edge of her bed.
"Yato?! I thought you were going to lie low!"
"I am," he said seriously. "I sent Yukine home and then I got in through the window. Nobody saw me or anything."
"So then..." she said, putting two and two together.
"Yep, I'm staying here with you, of course."
She immediately smacked him over the head.
"You! Where do you get off inviting yourself into an unmarried girl's bed?!"
"OW! What's the problem?! I've already had you in my bed, haven't I?!"
"That... that was different! I wasn't in my body, and my family wasn't there, and, and-" she stuttered, overwhelmed.
"Relax, Hiyori," he said with a wan smile. "Even I'm not depraved enough to come here expecting that in your own house. I really am just hiding out... and keeping an eye on you, if that's alright."
"You say that but I absolutely do not trust you," she said immediately.
"Cruel!"
She squinted suspiciously at him. "You didn't even tell me you were hiding in here; were you spying on me while I was bathing and getting dressed?!"
"Of course not!" he said, a little too quickly to be entirely believable. She cracked her knuckles and he paled. "Okay, okay! I uh, I did maybe get a peek in while you were getting dressed, b-but it was an accident, I swear!"
"Yato..."
"Okay it was totally on purpose, I'm sorry! But does it even matter?! I already saw everything!"
She hit him again.
"Go home and get killed by Daikoku-san for all I care," she said coldly, turning her back to him and pulling her sheets back over her head.
"I'm sorry... Hiyori, pleaseeeee, forgive me! I was in the wrong, I'll... I'll even shave my head and become a monk if you want! Please don't hate me!"
She ignored him.
"Hiyoriiii, pleaaaase, I just wanted to see you again, I missed you so much... I really didn't come to do anything perverted, I swear!"
"Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!"
"I wasn't going to look, I really wasn't! It just happened and I couldn't tear my eyes away, and I remembered everything from this afternoon and, and-"
"Don't, it's embarrassing!" she cried, throwing a pillow at his face.
She meant to ignore him again, but his expression was so stricken that she immediately felt bad.
"Did you hate it that much?" he asked, voice trembling. "I-I thought you were happy, but did I just imagine that to make myself feel better?"
She flushed and before she could think about it, she took his fingers in her hand.
"N-no, I was happy," she said in a strained whisper. "I am happy, I didn't mean to make you think that I hated it."
"Then, why?"
"It's embarrassing, that's all!" she said. "I feel like I'm going to die thinking about it, I get all confused and hot and I can barely breathe and I'm scared because I really want to see you, but I don't want to put you or Yukine-kun in more danger than I already have, so I don't know what to do or how to act or-"
"Hiyori," he said suddenly, taking her face into his hands. "Calm down. Breathe. You're hyperventilating."
She exhaled and took a slow measured breath.
"There you go," he said, kissing her forehead. "I'm sorry, I think I was being selfish. I didn't think you would be worrying about it this much, but that was stupid of me. I shouldn't have come and put pressure on you. I'll go stay at Tenjin's place instead, so you should get some rest, okay?"
He made to let go, but she took his hands and kept them in place.
"You can stay," she said softly. "As long as you behave."
He hesitated.
"You sure, Hiyori?"
"Mm," she said, making space for him on the mattress. "But if you grope me or try anything perverted I swear to the gods I'll break you into a thousand pieces," she added as he settled in and pulled her into a hug.
"I won't," he said, nuzzling her hair. "Promise. But, I can at least cuddle with you, right?"
"... Just a little," she said, resting her cheek on his arm. All her worries seemed somehow small compared to the warmth of his body as he held her, his familiar, intoxicating scent lulling her uncertain heart to sleep.
"Good night, Hiyori," he whispered into her hair.
"Mom, you know that conversation we had the other day..."
Hana looked up at her from across the table. It was after dinner, and both women were working on their own projects. After her father's death, it had become a nightly ritual of sorts, Yasumi with her homework and Hana with her legal cases, quietly keeping each other company in the absence left behind by their mutual loss. "You mean the one about Ame-no-Mikoto?"
"Yeah."
"What about her?"
"Well, not her exactly, but I was wondering if you knew anything about Regalia."
"Regalia?"
"Right, I heard... a story, about people who serve gods. They call themselves Regalia."
Yasumi's mother frowned and put down her files on the table.
"Hm, I do know the word Regalia, but... it doesn't apply to people. In the stories, the Regalia are the weapons and instruments of the gods."
"Weapons?" Yasumi asked, confused. Something niggled in the back of her mind, but she couldn't quite recall what it was.
"Right, swords, staffs, fans, the sort of things gods hold in those old paintings. Where did you hear that they were servants?"
"Uh, it was in an old book at the school library," she lied quickly. "I was just curious 'cause I'd never heard about it."
"Strange," Hana muttered to herself. "Do you remember the name of the book?"
"Not really, it was just something I was looking through for a paper."
Hana regarded her curiously.
"You know, Yasumi, you've been interested in a lot of folklore, lately," she noted. "You couldn't be bothered to do more than the bare minimum before."
Yasumi laughed it off nervously.
"Just, you know, now that I'm getting older, it's kinda interesting."
"Did you want to ask around at the shrine? Aunt Kuriko would be happy to have you back in her lessons."
Hell no. Not in a million years.
"Nah, it's fine," she said hastily. "It's mostly just idle curiosity, Mom."
"Well, if you're sure..."
"Yeah."
Hana shrugged and returned to her reading.
"By the way," she said a bit later, as Yasumi collected her things and got up from her chair. "I remembered something about Ame-no-Mikoto just now."
"Hmm? What's that?"
"In one of the other stories about how she became our guardian deity, she had a loyal servant that hid her away from a wrathful god. I don't remember any other details though. It's one of the more obscure versions of the story."
"Oh... so gods can have servants too."
"Yes, of course. I've just never heard of them referred to as Regalia before."
Yasumi shrugged. "It was a weird book. Who knows."
"Who knows," Hana repeated thoughtfully.
Notes: I spent way too much time trying to figure out if Yato would keep his promise not to grope Hiyori. The conclusion I came to was that technically, cuddling is sorta like groping but in a cute, consensual enough way that she probably won't kill him. Probably. As usual, I hope you'll enjoy the story and I'd love to hear what you thought about it!