AUTHOR'S NOTE: Happy May the 4th! May the Fourth be with you all!

DISCLAIM: I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS

Please Enjoy

Chapter 8: Personal

. . .

The hours of darkness passed, dreams flew by in glimpses and she woke soberly with a fierce thirst.

It was not yet time to rise, she knew this by the light fixtures, instead, she guessed it was sometime very, very early in the morning.

Her mouth webbed as she released a breath as foul as spoiled milk.

And then she remembered...

I almost threw up on him... The thought came crudely, filling her with dread, Did I...? No, no he brought me to the toilet and-...

She remembered his touch upon her hand, the thick, black paw that shrouded her own. The security against his broad chest she so nonchalantly fell upon...

This is a nightmare...

She stood from her bed and walked into her bathroom, the motion sensored night light gently hummed and illuminated the sink. She turned on the cold faucet, cupped her hands in the brisk water, and drank deeply. She tried to wash the taste of bile from her mouth, and after a few swishes and spits, her breath was bearable again.

Rey took a few more mouthfuls of water for good measure, making sure she was fully hydrated before turning off the faucet and taking slow steps back to her bed. She was in the hands of the First Order, sleeping aboard their ship, and even eating from their kitchen. She felt vulnerable, and wondered if the only way to get some sleep in this hellish ship is to drink into a stupor...

Rey had never been given anything before. Possessions, food, clothing, these were things that were earned. If she wanted to eat, she would work. When working in the sun burned her skin, she would work for clothing to protect herself. Nothing was ever given so freely... Although she would not deny the occasional swipe of bread as a child.

He had given her all of these things and then some. In a mere day, she had acquired the items that would have taken years to earn, let alone look upon. She wondered if she deserved these things, surely someone else with far less than her was more worthy.

Sleep was another necessity required on Jakku, probably the most important of all to Rey. One of the few things she enjoyed most out of all, was sleep. As a child, she was able to sleep anywhere, whether it'd be under the stars or on brisk metal, it mattered very little so long as she had a place to rest. But as she grew older and stronger, her body required more attentive care when it came to rest. Her long days of lifting and climbing strained her body to the point her bones felt as thin as splinters. Her hammock became her own design, something to cradle her body to sleep, a child-like solution that eased her body each night.

Rey reached the bed, entering gingerly now, as if the silken sheets would rip underneath her. As her legs swept underneath the silk sheets, they stretched as far as they could, without coming anywhere near the edge of the mattress. The softness of the exquisite fabric smoothed along her skin, its sudden coolness made her twinge, but in an instant, the heat from her own body matched each thread and warmed her body like nothing she had ever felt before.

The pillows were as soft as the one she rested her head upon on her hammock, only instead of smelling like machinery and tickling her nose, they were the same silkiness as the sheets and omitted faint floral tones.

Inhaling deeply, she snuggled in tighter, curling herself into a ball, and smiling against her pillowcase...

Without any indication, the beautiful chandelier began to dim, and darkness had swallowed her bedroom. She had paid no mind to this, far too comfortable and confined in her immaculate bed to care.

Her gaze drifted about the room, taking in each important piece of its décor, the armoire, the window, the intricate stitching of her comforter, and the grand mirror facing her bed... All pieces that should make up a bedroom, yet she had never experienced... She wondered if Kylo Ren shared similar quarters...

Stories of him would travel across Jakku, mostly from rebel soldiers avoiding capture or passing travelers who have seen the First Order's wrath. Kylo Ren was born into luxury, Rey had been told by few.

The son of Princess Leia and Han Solo, he was royalty; born to rule and lead. She wondered if he had ever intended all of this, Leia was heard of as kind and strong, Han Solo as well, but he was not as present as Leia in Kylo Ren's upbringing, again, she was only told. Growing up the son of a princess, surely his life was far more lavish than this room she rested in...

Ironic he finds such a keen interest in me then...

As she laid upon her back, the pillow against her head supported her comfortably, and the sheets cocooned her in their hold, she wondered what exactly he was thinking about in this moment...

There were very few men on Jakku, most were wandering travelers or outlaws, either way... Rey kept her distance from all of them. They were often thugs or ravagers, and everything on Jakku was cheaper, even the opposing sex was a scarce resource that brought parched, desperate men to such a state...

Rey rolled to her side, allowing the silk sheets to glide across her body, and tucking her hands underneath her cheek.

A commander,

A killer...

She rolled tightly to her side again, flipping one of the soft pillows upon her ear in an attempt to block all outside thoughts that disrupted her rest.

Maybe if I go to sleep, I'll wake up back at home... If only...

My speedracer is surely gone by now, probably stolen and scrapped...

My plants are going to die, I never had the chance to water them before-... Well, this...

I wonder if someone found the AT AT, all my things... Maybe there won't be a home at all to go back to...

And then a dreadful thought clouded over her, it was the one she had been holding back out of all of them.

It surfaced, What if he's there waiting for me...

Her face tightened, she was helpless to stop this and her tears from building behind her eyes.

What if he's just there waiting... Alone...

He'll think something happened to me and just wait every night for me to come back...

Before she could notice the wet stain of tears upon her pillow, her mind began to flutter between this world and sleep.

She hovered between them, What if he's out there wondering where I am... I can't even...

Flashes of light seemed to come from behind her closed eyes, but it was not time to rise just yet. Reality seemed to slip further away, and eventually she saw herself sitting upon a sandy, metal floor. Scattered papers gently lifted its corners against the soft, desert breeze.

. . .

"I picked these out of a locker a few years ago, they're all from the same woman." She heard herself say to the air, "I think she was a wife or something."

She sat cross-legged on her AT AT floor, holding a parchment carefully with her fingers as to not crinkle it. "I really don't think you'd be that interested."

What makes you think that? He beckoned, she lifted her head and sighed, sudden embarrassment seemed to sweep in through the desert breeze as hearing his voice sent chills up her bare arms. Affection wasn't something to be bought or learned from others... It was a scarce resource on Jakku.

But this never stopped Rey from being... just a little curious on what it felt like...

"Well this woman writes to her husband-... It's kind of-... I don't know, sweet."

Well, read one then, he spoke, If I recall correctly you're the one who wanted to take them out in the first place.

For a moment Rey wasn't sure how to answer that, he would often call her out on things or contradict her. In these moments, Rey felt somewhat ashamed that she couldn't come up with such witty comebacks like he could. She bowed her head, hiding it from him as if he were before her, and stopped herself from pouting her lip.

"Fine..."

Her eyes went to the page, and starting from the beginning, she spoke,

"Dearest one,

the days seem longer without you near, and the nights we are apart are unbearable. Before I put the children to bed, we all read your letters together, sometimes it's the only thing that will help Mirandon sleep.

I miss you more than words can say, each letter on this page is written with my utmost love. This war feels like it will never be over, each day there's a new rumor about The Empire. I try not to listen to any of the political gossip, heaven knows we've had our disagreements on your career path. Regardless, I know we've discussed this and I am fully devoted to you and whatever you choose to do.

The projector is right where you left it, and like your family, we wait patiently for your response. Please write back soon darling and be safe.

Shae."

Rey smiled at the words she spoke, she couldn't help herself as she looked upon this beautiful piece of paper. "That's one of them... I feel bad for reading them sometimes, they get very personal. Just makes me wonder what happened to them."

He didn't say anything for a moment, Rey was being lead to believe he was conjuring up some snarky comment to refute this letter or ridicule her, she placed the letter away from her crossed legs.

Well they're probably dead.

The words spoken were far too bluntly put for Rey's liking, she secretly despised when he would make those sarcastic comments. She knew he only did this because he knew it irritated her, she opened her lips to snap back at his comment, but she was cut short.

But that's not the point...

Stormtroopers are either recruited at a young age or enlisted voluntarily, he wanted to be part of The Empire. This woman thought it was the wrong path and although she couldn't change it, she was loyal, she trusted him regardless of who he was.

She was taken back at this, never before has he spoken these affectionate words so confidently.

They've spent ten nights together, each one spacing their conversations out further and further apart. The topic of feelings became more prominent in their conversations, Rey at first, was reluctant to this, and she sensed he was, too. Eventually, it became most of their conversations all together.

"You speak as if you've felt this way before," She said quietly, almost bashfully, she noted.

I assumed you have. You seem very intrigued with these letters.

"What? Been in love?" She asked jokingly, releasing a snort and shaking her head upon the subject, "No, no that's not for me. I just like reading them, that's all... Guess I'm a bit more nosey than anything."

Why do you say that?

"Why do I say what?"

Why do you say it's not for you?

He was genuinely curious on this matter, he asked so honestly without the slightest hint of mockery. Regarding that, Rey had no idea what to say.

No one had ever asked that before, she had never even thought about that before. Surely she dreamed of love and thought about it, but the idea of loving someone else so unconditionally like in these letters had never crossed her mind. Is the feeling of love the same as the ones she would get reading these letters?

Still, feeding into this subject would only put her in the spotlight. Time to change the tune.

"You're asking a lot of questions, and I don't really care for your nosiness..." She almost snapped.

It's only a question.

"Well, you sound older," She peered, forcefully trying to change the subject, "Educated, and you tend to get under my skin with your persistent sarcasm, so I guess I could say you've got a personality."

I rather like your responses to my sarcasm, fills up the time I have with you. His next response sounded more surprised and lighthearted, And older? How old do you think I am?

"Nevermind that," She smiled, shaking her head and taking the lowest bun out of her hair, "You've obviously got plenty of time on your hands if you're talking with a stranger you've never met in your free time."

I like talking to you, his tone was heard in its usual monotone self, but the words made Rey's heart flutter. And you're not a stranger, Rey... We're past that.

His words melted into the air, and Rey was glad he could not see her blushing so profusely. Sticking her tongue into the side of her mouth, she tried to stifle her smile, "Can I ask you something...? You don't have to answer if you don't want to..."

All right.

"Have you ever had someone special?"

He didn't answer right away, and Rey had thought for a moment that their connection had been interrupted.

I'll tell you this, it's shortly after dinnertime where I am... I don't have a lot of time to make connections like this with people. She heard the honesty in his voice, it was as if another person was conversing with her at this very moment. My lifestyle requires a lot of work, and I was used to being alone during my downtime... But after these nights, I think I'd rather spend the little time I have alone with you.

She smiled. It was out of her control now, and she had hoped in this moment it was normal to be sitting here smiling so foolishly at mere words.

Sorry, that was more forward than I intended...

"No, no," She cracked a smile, "I've just never had anyone to talk to like this before... It's strange but... I don't think this is just some coincidence.

I think whatever's happening every night, it's not in our control... But it's meant to be..."

He didn't say anything, Rey thought he was thinking of something smart to say. Instead, she felt her heart flutter and an uncontrollable smile try to lift her cheeks.

I think you're right... But if I could control it, I wouldn't change a thing about it...

Maybe if I could see you... Just to see if you're as beautiful as I imagine.

Rey held her breath, which made the silence between them stretch even farther.

She bit hard into her lip, trying to holster the goofy smile she felt across her lips. Blood rushed to her face and flushed her cheeks to a bright pink. She brushed her fingers against one to feel its warmth, taking a thin veil of today's oil excursion with her.

Her smile quickly faded.

Rey noticed her appearance. Her once white clothes had been turned brownish tan from either the sun or the sand, she wasn't sure which. Her face was filthier than usual, the oil had been today's proof of that. She wasn't exactly sure of her smell situation, but she was thankful he didn't know either.

This man was obviously in a higher class, and living a much better life than she was. He could be some kind of lord or other wealthy persona she would most likely never encounter in her life.

She'd never felt such shame of being herself before this...

"You wouldn't be saying that if you actually saw me," She honestly stated, "Trust me, I'm nothing special..."

Silence again.

It became heavier, the feeling of this man's eyes, whatever they looked like, peering down at her. Seeing every scrape, stain, and muck smear across her body made her so self conscious she felt it would force tears out of her.

You are to me.

Rey wasn't expecting that, in fact she wasn't expecting a response to that at all. This man knew she was poor, he knew her entire life without taking as much as a glance at her, and yet these few words made her feel like she was right beside him. A boot next her her foot, maybe a hand over her own, and a sweet, warm kiss on her cheek all at once...

"Thank you," She said, trying to stifle the drop in her voice.

You're welcome.

Again, the kiss, the interlocking fingers, now even the brush of thick fingers through her hair... She wished these phantom feelings were real...

The quiet was warm this time, she knew these feelings were powerful. She liked to think they traveled down a long string, following each thread and curve until they reached an end. Rey hoped it wasn't much longer than she thought...

"I've got to get to bed," She said quietly, "Do you think we can we stay like this until we fall asleep again? I liked that..."

We can try...

There was movement on his end, the sound of feet began to shift and echo off something. A soft, fabric thump, hit the floor, and Rey thought he removed his shirt. She thought about this image from time to time, but almost immediately repressed it... Almost.

With the rustle of a coverlet and the fluffing of a pillow, Rey knew he was in bed. A switching sound pierced her silent AT-AT, and Rey felt the darkness on his end creeping into hers, but she was not alone.

A light gust of desert wind blew past her curtain-door, it sent a shiver past her bare feet and up her blanket. She cuddled deeper into her hammock, clinging to herself for warmth. At the same time, she heard him clasp onto his own very sheets as well.

Whatever this is, He said in the darkness, It's getting stronger...

And you need something more insulated, if that wind keeps me up again...

Rey allowed a sweet giggle to escape her lips, but it was true. Their bond- he liked to call it, was indeed getting stronger. She was able to smell his dinners, hear him as if he was in proximity range, and once in a while, if he moved, she felt the soft breeze of his movement cross her. These phenomenons were equally true on his side of the galaxy as well.

"Goodnight," She said sweetly, ignoring his complaint.

Goodnight, Rey. We'll talk tomorrow.

"Looking forward to it."

Both of them knew the connection would always somehow get lost when one of them would go to sleep. So eventually, they started the habit of going to sleep together, so neither would be left alone.

Rey liked it this way, it was comforting until the end, and in the morning, she could focus on work.

During so, she would watch the phases of the sun until it was time to go home, and her real day would begin.

Please tell me your thoughts and review as honestly as possible. No Star Wars FanFiction is perfect, unless it's written, sealed, signed, and kissed by George Lucas himself, but I hope this makes at least 1 person happy.

Thanks for reading! Come back for 'Chapter 9: The Rookie.'