Hello, hello ! Here goes another chapter, a bit calmer than the previous ones. But it won't last long, so be ready eh eh.

Chapter 8 : Old dilemmas

Lying down at the edge of the sofa, Sans was keeping a close watch at Papyrus and the human's interactions. His face expressed nothing but coldness and distrust. His little brother, excited like never before, was telling everything about what happened to them down to every last detail, which started to get on Sans' nerves, anxious at the idea the creature could use these against them. Even if as of now, the kid didn't seem to have the intent to cause harm, if Papyrus accidentally revealed they were the royal scientist's children, they were about to have huge problems. Being the children of someone important was not good in times like these, and even more now that they were all alone in the streets. Too easy preys. They had to be more careful.

But how could he convinced Papyrus to do so ? The small skeleton had never been so happy since the beginning of their journey and his heart screamed to let him have this moment of innocence that would not happen again before a while.

Undyne, on the contrary, was not that enthusiastic. Sitting next to him, she stared at the newcomer with a mix of contrariety and anger. Sans could not blame her. After her recent traumatism with the cave's attack, he understood her reluctance perfectly. He hadn't found the time to talk to her yet, but he had the feeling she was still not ready to talk about this. Still, she was too calm and he was afraid she was trying to hide her pain and anger to not worry them. Sans knew too well it was bad. Sooner or later, all these sentiments would have to get out. It was best if it didn't happen while they were running away or under attack.

"Is it going to come with us ?" she asked, seeing Sans staring at her for a few seconds.

Papyrus and Charlie stopped talking immediately and looked at him. A big smile lightened his brother's face, suddenly excited.

"They can, Sans ? Please say yes ! Come on, it will be nice ! Please !" he insisted, grabbing his arm and his eyes begging him. "We can't let them all alone here, what are they going to do ? He's like us ! Maybe we can bring them with us at the Mountain ?"

"Wow, slow down." tempered his brother. "We'll… We'll see, Pap'. I don't think this is a good idea. And anyway, your friend must have family too, somewhere, like us. We have to find Dad, remember ? And I don't think he would be very happy about this…"

"But Sans… He's all alone for now ! If I would have been all alone, I know I would have been really scared by myself. Charlie has no one…"

Sans lifted his eyes to the human child. They were playing nervously with their sleeve to mask their anxiety. Papyrus was right on one point : alone, they wouldn't survive very long. But could he really risk his brother's and Undyne's life by taking them on the road ? And what would his father think when he'll see them coming back with an enemy ? Or the King ? There was a high chance Monsters would shoot them on sight. Papyrus would be destroyed emotionally after this. It was a very bad idea.

Undecided, he turned towards the small fish lady, still lost in thought.

"And you, Undyne ? What do you think ? Should we let them come with us ?"

"No." she cut short. "I don't like humans. All they know is destroying everything and standing in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams."

At least, it was pretty clear. But Papyrus wouldn't hear it that way. He grabbed the human and hugged them close, staring right at his brother's face angrily. Sans knew this look well : if they left the kid behind, he wouldn't forgive him. When he really wanted something, Papyrus could be very stubborn sometimes. That damn habit of wanting to help the entire world would lead them both into a wall one day or the other.

Sans sighed and gazed sadly at Undyne. When Papyrus was like this, nothing he said would change his mind, and Sans was too tired to fight with him right now.

"Fine, then." he gave up. "But only until they find their family." warned Sans. "We can't take them with us at the Mountain, Papyrus. You know why."

The human said nothing, but their gaze darkened a little. They didn't seem to appreciate the situation. Well, neither did Sans. The more Papyrus was getting attached, the harder it would be to let them go. And anyway, the older skeleton had no proof the human was actually safe. If they betrayed them, Sans was not sure how he would react. But since they apparently had to deal with this for now, he hoped the child would behave better once they learned to know them better.

For now, it could lower his guard. One thing at the time. Sans got up and left the children alone to run a bath in the bathroom. Everyone needed to calm down and it looked like the best way to do it for now. He closed the door behind him and closed his eyes for a bit, tired.

He finally got rid of his old dirty clothes and sank in the warm water in a sigh of pure pleasure. It quickly turned dark grey as the dust and the dirt diluted. Sans rubbed his bones as best as he could to get rid of the muck. He also evaluated the impressive number of bruises covering his body from head to toe. This journey had been a nightmare so far. He wished he could get home and finally be a child again, with nothing more to worry about than his homework and Papyrus' naps.

For the first time since the beginning of his trip, he authorized himself to crack up and cry silently. Even if he tried his best to be brave for his brother, he was scared, and exhausted, and traumatised just like his brother or Undyne. But contrary to them, he didn't have the right to break, because they were both counting on him blindly. He threw water on his face to stop these stupid baby tears. He didn't even know why he was crying. He was big enough now to understand this world was not a good place to grow up. That's what his dad never stopped telling him.

Furiously, he got out of the bath and dried himself, breathing heavily to control his sobs as best he could. He didn't want to worry his brother for nothing. In the mirror, something froze him in place. On his reflection, a nasty bloody wound crossed his chest.

"What… ?"

He lowered the eyes on his actual chest. Nothing. He watched at his clone again. It was closer, eyes sockets entirely black, looking straight through him. Sans screamed, his eye became light blue and he pulverized the glass with a bunch of bones. It broke into pieces. Out of breath, Sans fell against the opposite wall and squeezed his legs into his arms, shaking. He closed his eyes.

"It's not real." he whispered. "That's not real, that's not real, that's not real…"

Why now ? His father assured him these visions he kept seeing were just in his head. They left him alone every time they travelled so why were they coming back ?

A loud bang on the door jumpscared him.

"Sans ?" called Papyrus behind the door. "Are you alright ? Did you hurt yourself ?"

Sans took a deep breath to calm the crazy beats of his soul and wiped the tears out of his eyes. Papyrus should not see him like this. He had to stay strong for him and it couldn't work if his brother was worrying about him.

"Sans ?" panicked Papyrus. "Sans, answer me ! You are scaring me ! That's not funny."

"I'm… I'm fine, bro." he answered with a shaking voice. "I just fell of the stool when I brushed my teeth." he lied.

"Are… Are you sure ? You don't sound normal."

Sans forced himself to stand up and opened the door. Papyrus opened his eyes wide when he saw the broken mirror on the floor and the lost bone planted in the wall. His brother didn't let him think more and pulled him inside. He quickly turned his back to empty the bathtub and clean it, then he ran the water to fill a new bath. He turned towards his brother, silent. He outstretched his arm to help his brother undress, but Papyrus backed off.

"What happened ?" he asked, tears in the eyes.

"Nothing. Please, come h…"

"Stop lying to me, Sans ! You smashed this for a reason ! You have one of these things again, right ? Like that time you woke up screaming because you thought I was gone." he guessed.

"It's… Yes." he confessed. "But I'm fine now. It was nothing."

"It didn't sound like nothing." sulked Papyrus. "You know you just have to ask me to comfort you when it's happening, right ? I hate seeing you like this ! Dad always said to leave you alone, but I'm not stupid and I can see you are not alright !"

Papyrus rushed into his arms and hugged him. Sans tensed, but hugged him back.

"I'm sorry, little bro. I didn't want to worry you. I'm fine, I promise you."

"Ok, but think next time."

Sans snorted. Papyrus was too precious for this world. The older brother helped the small one to get rid of his clothes, then he carried him above the water. Then he stopped. His brother looked at him, waiting, then frowned.

"Sans, no !"

"Hey, Papyrus."

"No, I don't want to hear your terrible joke. Let me go !"

"Why does water never laugh at jokes ?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

"Because it isn't a fan of dry humour."

Papyrus rolled his non-existent eyes and sighed melodramatically before his brother finally ended his torture game and put him in the water, laughing at his reaction. Sans helped him clean himself then left the place for Undyne and the human, old enough to bath by themselves.

As the sun set, the children finally enjoyed a real meal that calmed down their empty stomachs for some times. Then, Papyrus pulled the human and Undyne's arm to come play with him with some toys he found in the bedroom. At first reticent, Undyne finally put a bit of her anger aside to follow the tiny skeleton. Papyrus was good at roleplaying and very convincing, even if he was a bit of a dictator.

Exhausted, Sans stayed on the sofa, under the blanket. His eyes were closing slowly but he was resisting. Seeing them have fun, far away from the horrors of the war, warmed his heart. He was not sure he knew how to play anymore anyway. He was not a child anymore and he was starting to realise that.

It was his father's fault, he was well aware of that. Since his mom died, he didn't manage to combine his family and his duty as a royal scientist. When Sans' powers appeared, when he was five years old, he trained him to react to every bad situation he could think of, so he could protect himself and his brother. He explained the war to him, what humans were doing to monsters like him and how he had no chance to survive with his health condition if he didn't learn to fight quickly. Another problem was that his magic was too powerful for his soul to bear, so Sans had to understand as soon as possible how he could focus it, creating shields and complex attacks patterns for hours and hours. He had spent most of his life locked up between the four walls of his dad's lab in the basement. All of the other days, he had to take care of Papyrus while his dad was busy away with his job.

With a step back, he understood now this was not a normal thing to ask to a child. While Papyrus discovered the joy of being innocent and carefree, he realised quickly he was totally disconnected from all of this, without being given the chance to feel what it was to be a child. He was not jealous of his brother. On the contrary, he was doing all he could so Papyrus didn't have to care for the longest time possible. But a few days before the beginning of their journey, his dad asked him to start training him. Sans refused and he yelled at his father for even thinking about this. Gaster didn't need another soldier-child. If he had to sacrifice himself so his brother can have a normal life, he would do it without hesitation.

He wasn't even sure himself that his training had been worthy. In this big bad world, everything was different. The pathetic virtual enemies of his father seemed far weaker than the dangerous humans they crossed in the cave that almost killed them. Besides, his powers kept growing stronger and stronger despite all he was doing to control them. It sufficed to see how he strangely teleported the day before. He didn't even know how to do this again.

He was terrified by his own power.

He jumped when Papyrus slipped under the blanket, next to him. The children had enough playing for one night apparently and decided to go to sleep. Sans held his brother against him with a small smile. When they touched each other, their souls shined in unison. That was happening sometimes if the both of them felt safe enough. Their souls were calling each other to share affection. That was all Sans needed to know.

He closed the eyes and cradled into an appealing darkness.

"Sans, you're snoring !" complained Papyrus only a few seconds later, angrily.

But Sans was already far away in the land of dreams. The small skeleton sighed. He circled his brother's chest with his two tiny arms and finally closed his eyes too for a well-deserved night of sleep.