From bad to worse*

It had been a week since Todd had apologized to Marty. He had hoped that it would make things better for them, that she would at least trust him enough to meet for their study sessions without her guard dog Jason hanging around, but nothing had changed. He had gone back to her place twice since then to study and both times Jason was there, never letting Marty out of his site. He should have known that his pitiful apology wouldn't have been enough to get Marty to trust him again. He just, he didn't know how to make things right with her and he was frustrated.

He could feel the frustration building over the past week and it was quickly boiling over into anger. He wasn't angry with her, he would never be angry with her, but rather with himself. She hated him, of course, she hated him and why wouldn't she? He knew that she hated him, that she had every reason too, but that didn't keep him from loving her. It was twisted, it really was, he loved her and desperately needed her forgiveness and he didn't see how he would ever obtain that, let alone her love and he hated himself for it. All of his self hatred was feeding the beast inside.

He looked over at Marty who was sitting on the edge of her seat as she waited for the class to be over. She was trembling, frightened by everything and everyone especially him. He wanted his apology to make things magically better for her, but it hadn't. There were deep bags under her eyes and he wondered when she had slept last. She was still wearing frumpy sweaters that he hated. Every day the smell of booze got stronger and stronger. She was falling apart and Todd had no idea how he could help her.

"Oh god," Marty gasped as she jumped to the sound of the bell ringing. It seemed odd to him that even though she had been watching the clock in anticipation, and the sound was so faint that he barely noticed it, every day it made her jump as if it was a bomb being detonated.

She quickly got out of her seat and rushed from the classroom and Todd sighed as he stood up. It was just one more observation of Marty to add to his already long list of why he hated himself, one more thing to feed the monster that wanted out of it's cage.

"Todd, what is it?" Doctor Ray Martino asked as Todd approached him.

"I know that our session isn't until next week, but the anger has really been building. The beast...he wants out and I'm afraid of what he, no what I will do if I can't control it," Todd whispered.

"I have another session with another patient in about a half hour, but I am on call at the hospital around seven. I am more than happy to talk to you then, or refer you to someone else if you can't wait," Ray stated.

"I'll wait for you. Thank you, I'll see you tonight," he said as he gathered his things and left.

XOXOXO

"Okay Todd, what's going on?" Ray asked as Todd had entered his office at the hospital.

"There's this girl, I love her, but she hates me and I can't really blame her cause I hate me, but I'm just frustrated that I can't make things right between us," Todd explained.

"Why do you hate yourself?" Ray asked.

"What's not to hate? I'm Peter Manning's little monster, he never could love me because of how bad I was, my mother walked out on me, and I hurt the only girl that I've ever loved. I just...I have a talent for making things go from bad to worse," Todd said as his phone rang.

"Damnit, I thought that I put this stupid thing on silent," Todd said as he pulled his phone out.

"I'm really sorry, but it's my dad, he never calls me. I have to take this," Todd said as he answered the phone.

"Is this Todd Manning, Peter's son?" He heard a female ask.

"Yes, who's this? Where's my dad?" Todd asked.

"My name is Ivy, I'm Peter's girlfriend, I'm sorry, but your dad had a heart attack. He's not doing well and he keeps asking for you," The girl explained.

"Tell him I'm on my way," Todd said and then hung up. "I'm sorry Doctor Martino, but my dad had a heart attack. He's asking for me, he never asks for me. I...I have to go to Chicago," Todd stated as he got up to leave.

"Todd, you have my number, I want you to call it if you ever need to talk. Remember to do your breathing exercises to help with the anger and the stress," Ray stated.

"I will," Todd said and then headed out.

XOXOXO

"Damnit," Marty swore under her breath as she threw the empty bottle of Adderall across the room. She was so tired and there was nothing that she could take to keep sleep from coming to her.

"I'll just lay down for a little bit, I'll get more drugs tomorrow," she said to herself in between labored breaths as she laid down on her bed. She was so tired, hopefully the nightmares would stay away.

XOXOXO

Todd had packed his bags and he needed to get to the airport to catch his flight, but he found himself sitting outside of her house instead.

"What are you doing Manning? She doesn't want to see you, she hates you, remember?" He said to himself as he sat in the car debating his next action.

He couldn't just abandon her without saying goodbye and letting her know that he would be back to make his amends. He got out of the car and rang the doorbell, but there was no answer.

"Your obsession with her is going to be the death of you," he whispered as he climbed the Trellis up to her room.

The window was unlocked just like it had been before and he crawled through her window. It was dark, but he could still see her sleeping. She was exhausted, he should let her sleep.

He crept to her bed and covered her up with the blanket. "I have to leave, but I'll be back. I promise that somehow, someway I'll make things right between us again," he whispered and then kissed her lightly on the forehead.

It pained him to leave her. He wanted to stay and watch her sleep, he could watch her forever, but he had to go. He headed back towards the window.

"Todd," he heard her whisper his name.

He froze in his place. Did she wake up? Would she hate him even more for breaking in to say goodbye to her? He turned around to face her, but her eyes were still shut, she was still sleeping.

"Todd, don't...don't touch me, please don't," she whimpered just like she had done that night. She was dreaming about the night that he had raped her. He should go before things went from bad to worse, but he couldn't leave her trapped in a nightmare.

"Marty, wake up, you're having a bad dream," Todd said as he went to her side and began to shake her.

"I won't let you hurt me," Marty cried out as she reached under her pillow and pulled out a sharp kitchen knife.

"Give me the knife," Todd pleaded as he grabbed her hand that still gripped the handle of the knife.

"Don't touch me," Marty cried out as if he had scalded her. She yanked her hand away, brought up the knife and slid it down the side of his face.