Chapter 8
Jarrod slept fitfully for the rest of the day, his dreams disjointed, and his thoughts jumbled. He thought he heard Juliann's voice talking to him, but he knew it couldn't have been her.
When Jarrod woke again, it was nighttime. The lamp next to his bed was turned down, casting a warm glow about the room. He still felt disoriented, but his head did not hurt as much. He was given more water, this time by Silas.
"You just go on back to sleep, Mister Jarrod. I done made your mama go to bed."
"Thank you," Jarrod replied. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so ill. By the time he awoke the next morning, he was feeling much better though very weak. Dr. Merar came to visit him a few times and finally, a week later, Jarrod was allowed out of bed.
He was sitting next to the window in his bedroom when Audra came in with a tray of food. Jarrod's appetite was non-existent, and he just wanted to be left alone.
"Here's some broth for you. Maybe if you are feeling up to it, you can join us for dinner tonight," she said. Jarrod could hear the concern in her voice.
"Just set the tray down, Audra," he said wearily. He'd take a few bites to appease his family and hope they would leave him alone.
"Silas said he'd make whatever meal you wanted. It will be nice to have the family all together again."
Jarrod closed his eyes, biting back his response.
"Not tonight, Audra. Thank you." Jarrod didn't even look at his sister, knowing he would see a look of hurt on her face. It was more than he could bear. She left the room and shut the door quietly behind her. She walked down the stairs and found her mother and Silas in the kitchen, planning the menu for the next week.
"Did Jarrod eat?" Victoria asked.
"He just asked me to set the tray down. I asked him if he would join us for dinner, I said you would make whatever he wanted, Silas, but he said, Not tonight."
Victoria hated to see the sadness in her daughter's eyes. Jarrod was like a surrogate father to Audra and she knew he would feel terrible if he realized how much he was hurting her by his indifference.
"What's made him so sad, Mother? I know he's been ill, but...it just seems like so much more than that."
"Sometimes, when a person has been ill, they feel depressed for a while afterwards. Maybe we just need to give Jarrod some more time," Victoria said but she too wondered if there was more to it than that.
Audra nodded in agreement then excused herself to go riding. Seeing her normally strong and vibrant big brother filled with sadness and seemingly lifeless was almost more than she could bear.
The next day, Nick and Heath came into the house, dusty and tired.
"Mother!" Nick called out as soon as he entered the house. "Mother!"
"Nick!" Victoria said as she came from the kitchen. "Lower your voice!"
"Is Jarrod asleep?" Heath asked.
"He's resting. Why don't you wash up and then go and see him? Maybe see if he wants help getting ready for dinner?"
Nick and Heath shared a glance, wondering when Jarrod would begin to be himself again. They weren't used to seeing him in this state. Nick was thinking that maybe it was time to have a talk with big brother.
When they knocked on the door, Jarrod was sitting in a chair, staring out of the window.
"Hey Pappy!" Nick said. Jarrod barely glanced his way.
"How are you feeling?" Heath asked, trying to draw Jarrod out of his shell.
"Tired," came the terse reply.
"You know, we haven't had a good game of checkers in a while. Why don't I go get the board and bring it up," Heath suggested.
"I don't think so, Heath."
"Let us help you get dressed then for dinner," Nick said.
"I don't want to get dressed," Jarrod said, his patience wearing thin. "I just want to be left alone for now."
Nick opened his mouth to say something else, but Heath touched his arm and nodded with his head toward the door. Nick reluctantly followed.
The brothers went downstairs and joined their mother and sister for dinner. Afterwards, they adjourned to the billiard room, but no one felt like doing much. Jarrod's depressed state weighed heavily on everyone's mind. Nick, not one to just sit around and wait things out, was ready to take some action.
"I wonder if Juliann has anything to do with this?" Audra asked thoughtfully.
"Juliann? You mean Juliann Richardson?" Victoria asked.
"Yes. When Jarrod was still feverish, he...well, he called out for her," Audra explained. She felt a little guilty for saying anything, wondering if she were revealing a secret.
"Who was she to Jarrod?" Heath asked.
Victoria sighed. Heath fit so well with their family now that she often forgot he was not with them from the very beginning. She gave a short explanation of how close Jarrod and Juliann had been as children and even as young adults. It seemed Juliann had two suitors, Jarrod and another young man and Juliann had chosen the other.
"I'll admit, Jarrod has seemed different since her visit last year," Victoria commented thoughtfully.
"Well, he needs to forget about her!" Nick stated emphatically. "She's married."
"They seemed to have a connection," Heath commented thinking back to the church picnic. "Just the few minutes I saw them together left no doubt that Jarrod had feelings for her. But I think you're right, Nick. It would be best if he could forget about her."
"Oh, really?" Audra asked.
"Yes, really." Nick replied firmly.
"I seem to remember that you've both been involved with married women," Audra said, her chin raising in stubbornness.
"What are you talking about?" Nick asked.
"Did you just forget about Layle Johnson when you found out she was married?" Audra asked Nick.
"Now Audra. I don't see what this has to do with anything!" Nick said hotly, his hands on his hips. Nick had seen Layle Johnson in town and was immediately smitten with her. At first, Nick had not given her a chance to tell him she was married. Then later on, she found she didn't want to tell him. In the end, however, she chose to remain with her husband.
"And you," Audra said, spearing Heath with her eyes. "What about Liberty, Heath?"
"That was different, Audra," Heath told her, his voice letting her know he was not happy with her bringing up a still sore subject. When Liberty came to Stockton with a traveling show, she and Heath had rekindled their friendship. Liberty's husband was murdered, and Heath was arrested, but it was later determined that it was Liberty who had shot her husband. Her death, in a gun fight still caused his heart to constrict.
"How is that different, Heath? Liberty was a childhood sweetheart, am I right? Juliann is Jarrod's. If I recall, you were very insistent to be with Liberty. How can either one of you judge Jarrod for his feelings for Juliann?"
Audra stood and looked at her mother. "If you'll excuse me, I think I'll turn in now."
The others watched her walk from the room, each left in deep thought concerning what the young woman had said.
Another week passed. Jarrod had sent word to the judge presiding over his next case that he would be indisposed for the time being. Physically, Jarrod was healing nicely. He had regained his strength and had begun eating with the family again, yet he remained quiet and distant. They each tried to reach him, but he made it clear he wanted to be left alone.
One night, when Jarrod thought everyone was in bed asleep, he padded his way down the stairs to the parlor. He always did his best thinking when he could stand by the fireplace, nursing a scotch. He took a drink, closing his eyes at the burning sensation the liquid left behind.
What was the matter with him? He hated his mood but couldn't seem to find a way out of the dark place his mind had entered. He'd lost all desire for everything. The family, his law practice. Nothing appealed to him any longer.
He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. He jumped when he heard a voice from behind.
"Don't you think it's about time you opened up and told someone what is going on?"
Jarrod turned around and saw Nick standing at the door of the parlor.
"I thought you were in bed," was all Jarrod said as he fixed himself another drink. He made a gesture toward the tray and Nick nodded.
Handing Nick his drink, Jarrod went to stand before the fireplace again.
"Mother's worried about you. We all are worried," Nick said softly.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you."
"What's wrong, Jarrod?" Nick asked, and Jarrod knew Nick wasn't being nosy. His concern was genuine.
It was tempting to tell Nick to leave him alone, that he wasn't ready to talk about it. But Jarrod was tired of carrying his burden alone. He swirled the amber liquid around in his glass, sighing deeply.
"A few weeks ago, I returned from San Francisco. There was a stack of papers on my desk and in the middle of them, a copy of the Stockton Eagle. It had an interesting article in it."
Nick, who admitted to himself he'd been lax in reading the newspaper of late waited for Jarrod to continue with his story.
"What was the article about?" Nick asked, when Jarrod remained quiet.
"I'm surprised you haven't heard people talking about it. Juliann was convicted of murdering her husband."
Nick's eyes widened. He hadn't been in town much lately. None of them had since Jarrod had been ill. They also made it a point not to listen to much of what others were saying, knowing that usually people only told half-truths.
"When?" Nick asked.
"Last October. She's serving a life sentence in San Quentin. I went to see her as soon as I found out, asked her why she didn't contact me. She said she didn't want the great Jarrod Barkley to defend another lost cause."
Nick could tell that those words had hurt his brother deeply. He felt frustration and anger on Jarrod's behalf.
"I'm sorry, Jarrod."
"She's innocent," were the words that came next. They were said so softly that Nick almost didn't hear them.
"How do you know?" Nick asked.
"I just do," came the cryptic reply. Nick regarded his brother for a moment, thinking about what he'd said.
"Doesn't sound like my big brother to sit around and feel sorry for himself while a woman he cares for sits in prison for a crime he doesn't think she committed."
Jarrod looked up sharply, then turned toward the fire.
"What can I do? She doesn't want me to investigate," he replied flatly.
"And since when has that ever stopped you?" With those words, Nick left Jarrod alone. The dark-haired lawyer realized he couldn't hide behind his hurt any longer. He was tired of feeling sorry for himself. He knew in his heart two things for certain: Juliann was innocent, and it didn't matter that she denied it, he knew she cared for him.