Akaashi fiddled with the cuff of his sleeve, more nervous than he could remember being in a long time.

Calm down. It's just Bokuto.

Just Bokuto, whom Akaashi had been in love with since high school–

He fussed with his sleeve again. He wasn't used to wearing something so… expensive, but Bokuto always complimented him when he wore that stupid old sweater with the holes in it, so he'd bought a lavender button-up because they were the same color and he thought Bokuto might like it.

He'd bought a shirt for a date.

He'd boughtan expensive shirt that he didn't need for a date–

A date with Bokuto.

He was going on a date with Bokuto.

He pulled harder at his sleeve.

He'd asked Bokuto out purely by accident the week previously. They'd been hanging out at Bokuto's apartment, and it had just been so normal and perfect that it had… slipped out.

"Please go out with me, Bokuto-san," he'd said.

Bokuto had beamed.

So Akaashi bought a shirt.

His confession might have been spur of the moment, but the date was not. He'd been imagining it for years. They would spend the day at the Tama Zoological Park, where Akaashi knew for a fact they had eagle owls, some of the largest owls in the world. They had a dinner reservation at an all-you-can-eat yakiniku restaurant after that, and Akaashi planned to end the night with a visit to Senso-ji temple–Not that Bokuto knew any of this, it was all a surprise. He'd seemed excited, regardless, but Akaashi–

Akaashi was nervous.

This date was everything. They'd been on the cusp of something more than friends ever since they'd met, but they'd never taken that final step. Now Bokuto was out of college, and Akaashi was in his final year at Todai, and they were finally taking the leap. The date had to go well. If it didn't, Bokuto might want to go back to being friends, or maybe he'd want to stop being friends all together.

Akaashi checked his reflection in the mirror one last time. He fiddled with his sleeve. He swept a hand idly through his hair and hurried out the door.

The train ride was short, but every time his eyes caught the reflection of lavender in the window, he felt a burst of anxiety.

"Please mind the gap."

Akaashi stepped off the train and headed towards the east exit of the station, to the archway they'd agreed to meet under, and waited. Was he sweating? Had he remembered deodorant? He had. That was good.

He pulled at the button on the cuff of his sleeve. The lavender really was very pretty.

He wondered if Bokuto had eaten lunch. Akaashi hadn't, but he also hadn't factored that in to his plan. If Bokuto was hungry, they could get food at Tama, they probably had a food court, otherwise, Akaashi could wait until dinner.

He checked his watch and frowned. Bokuto was late.

It wasn't like they had to arrive at Tama by any certain time, so they could afford to be a little late. The fact that Akaashi was panicking slightly was irrelevant. He shouldn't have expected his carefully constructed plans to go smoothly with Bokuto involved. The only place they had to get to on time was the restaurant for their reservation, and that was hours away.

Akaashi leaned against the archway and scanned the masses. Bokuto was very easy to spot in a crowd, if not by his loud voice, then by his white hair that towered over any Japanese person of average height, but it was just a sea of black hair. Akaashi himself wouldn't stand out at all.

His stomach grumbled. Perhaps waiting until dinner was unrealistic. He eyed the vending machine across the hall. It had onigiri. Akaashi's mouth watered. He scanned the crowd quickly for Bokuto before making his way to the machine. His eyes immediately zeroed in on the nanohana tempura and he clicked the button before it had even fully registered and before he'd inserted his 200 yen. Then he saw the salted salmon, which he knew Bokuto liked. He bought them both.

He ate his onigiri, tucked into the corner of the archway as he waited.

And waited.

Then he ate Bokuto's out of spite.

And he waited some more.

Then he started to get worried. Bokuto was forty-five minutes late, that was more than just a missed train. Something was wrong. He might have been in an accident. He could have been hurt–

He pulled out his phone and dialed Bokuto, heart hammering in his chest–

"Akaashi!" Bokuto greeted through the phone, loud and happy.

Akaashi's shoulders relaxed. Bokuto was fine. "Bokuto-san," he greeted. "Where are you?"

"I'm out with Kuroo, why?"

Ah.

So that was it, then.

Bokuto hadn't gotten held up. He hadn't gotten lost. He hadn't missed his train. He hadn't been in an accident. He'd just… forgotten entirely.

"Akaashi?"

"Ah– It's nothing, Bokuto-san. Have fun with Kuroo-san."

"Akaashi, what–"

Akaashi hung up.

His eyes stung. He made his way back through the station to take the train home.

Akaashi could have dealt with Bokuto being late. There were three stages to their date. If Bokuto could no longer make it at noon, they could just pick it up from the six-o-clock reservation for yakiniku, and if he couldn't make that, they could still go to the shrine. If he had called to say he couldn't make it all together, that they had to reschedule, that was easy enough, too, just a quick call to the restaurant to change their reservation and they would have been fine.

But Bokuto had forgotten.

Akaashi pulled out his phone and scrolled through his messages to double check that the time and date and meeting location he'd sent were correct, then he cross-checked them with his phone calendar, because maybe he'd been the one who'd gotten the date wrong in his anxiety about the event–

But no. It was all correct.

He rode the train home in a daze.

He didn't call to cancel the reservation, because if Bokuto remembered… they could still go. The date was still salvageable.

But six-o-clock came and went.

Anxiety slammed into him like a wall. Should he have just told Bokuto on the phone that he was late to their date? Akaashi had been too upset to think properly and hung up, but he could have called Bokuto back and reminded him, then Bokuto could have hurried over and they could have still had it.

Or, maybe the date had slipped Bokuto's mind because Akaashi was such a small, insignificant part of his life. Maybe them going on a date would make things awkward and stilted and their friendship would slowly pitter out as Bokuto kept finding more and more reasons not to speak to him.

Had Akaashi not reminded him because he subconsciously wanted to wait and see how long it took Bokuto to remember? To measure where Akaashi ranked in his priorities? What if Bokuto never remembered? What if Akaashi's triumph of asking him out was so incredibly insignificant that he'd disregarded it almost immediately after it happened?

Akaashi thought about how much he'd agonized over every day that passed, anxious and excited, how the date had been all he'd thought about for a week–

And that was his answer, wasn't it?

If this had been half as important to Bokuto as it was to Akaashi, he would have remembered. It would have been impossible to forget.

Akaashi unbuttoned his shirt. He threw on his pajamas and curled up in his bed.

His phone vibrated and he snatched it up–

It was a photo of Bokuto and Kuroo at a bar, each holding up a peace sign with careless fingers.

Well.

That was that, then.

Akaashi felt stupid.

Bokuto had probably just been humoring him when he'd said yes, humoring his stupid friend who'd been hung up on him since he was sixteen.

How was he supposed to face Bokuto after this? Should he… pretend it never happened? Bokuto clearly forgot Akaashi had ever even asked him out, so if Akaashi kept acting normal, Bokuto would theoretically never notice that anything had changed.

But so much had changed.

Where there had been hope, now there was none.

Where there was adoration, now there was devastation.

He wouldn't be able to look at him, how could he possibly act normal?

He should never have asked him out. He'd been so caught up in the moment, in how perfectly happy he was that he'd just…

Slipped.

And ruined everything.

And he'd bought a shirt.

He'd bought a stupid fucking shirt–

Akaashi threw his phone at the wall. He curled up around his pillow and shoved his face into it as his shoulders shook.

Bokuto showed up around lunch the next day, pounding his fist against Akaashi's front door. Akaashi was still in his pajamas and his eyes were red from crying, but he opened the door anyways. It wasn't like he could do more damage.

Bokuto's shirt was on backwards, his hair was limp and lifeless, and his eyes were wide with panic. "Akaashi!" he cried, distraught. "We had a date yesterday!"

So. He finally remembered.

"We didn't," said Akaashi.

"What?"

"We didn't have it, because you didn't show up. Now if you'll please excuse me, Bokuto-san–"

"No, wait!" Bokuto shoved his foot in the door just as Akaashi made to close it. "Please, Akaashi! Can we talk?"

Their faces were too close as they stared at each other through the gap in the door. Akaashi had to take a step back and look away.

Bokuto opened the door wider, but he didn't come inside. "Akaashi. Please."

Akaashi hugged his arms around himself, feeling cornered. "Why are you here, Bokuto-san?"

"To apologize," said Bokuto, his voice soft.

Akaashi sniffed and tried to compose himself. He could already feel the tears coming and he hated it. "For what?"

"I'm sorry I missed our date–"

"Forgot," said Akaashi. "You didn't miss it, you forgot."

Bokuto swallowed. "Yeah."

"Is that all?"

"Akaashi…"

"If that's all, I'd appreciate it if you left, Bokuto-san."

"Please," said Bokuto, and it sounded like he was crying, but Akaashi couldn't make himself look. "Please. Akaashi. I'm so sorry. I'm in love with you–"

Akaashi choked on a sob.

"No, no, please don't cry!"

Akaashi finally looked up, and it hurt. "You forgot," he said. "Am I that insignificant to you?"

"No–"

"How can you say you're in love with me when you forgot–"

"I don't know!" Bokuto started crying, really crying. "I was so excited, then Kuroo said he wanted to go out this weekend and–"

"And I slipped your mind."

"Never! You're– I'm always thinking about you Akaashi! I just– I get distracted, and I mix up the days, and I forget things, and I'm horrible! I'm the worst! I'm the most awful, terriblest human being on the planet because you're perfect and you asked me out and I made you sad! I'm sorry! I'm so–" He dropped to the floor in a dogeza bow, pressing his face into the floor. "I'm so sorry, Akaashi. Please give me a second chance. Please. Please." Bokuto went quiet except for his sniffling.

"Your shirt's on backwards," said Akaashi, wiping his eyes.

"Akaashi!"

"Get off the floor, Bokuto-san," said Akaashi with a sigh. "And close the door. I have nosy neighbors."

Bokuto scrambled to his feet, rubbing his blotched face with his sleeve as he closed the door, something like hope lighting up in his eyes. Akaashi leaned against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed, too tightly wound to sit.

Bokuto's eyes caught on something and he frowned. "Is that… a shirt in your garbage?"

The lavender sleeve hung out of the can in the corner.

"No."

Bokuto pulled the shirt out. It was terribly wrinkled, and it was already stained by some old sauce that must have been tossed out before it.

Bokuto ran a hand over the fabric reverently. "Akaashi…" Akaashi moved to snatch it out of his hands, but Bokuto jumped back and held it to his chest protectively. "No! I wanna keep it!"

"Why?"

"You… You bought this for our date. Didn't you?"

Akaashi wasn't going to admit to that.

"I'd like to keep it, Akaashi. It's… really pretty. I bet it looked great on you."

"Yeah, well," said Akaashi bitterly, "it's ruined now."

Bokuto folded it gently. "Would you…" He licked his lips. "Would you tell me where we were going to go?"

"What's the point?"

"I just… I want to know."

Akaashi sank down the counter to the floor and hugged his knees to his chest. "The Tama Zoological Park."

Bokuto's eyes lit up. "Akaashi they have–"

"Eagle owls," said Akaashi, fiddling with his fingers. "I know." He leaned his head back against the counter cabinet. "Then we had a reservation for yakiniku. After that, I thought we could go to Senso-ji."

"It… sounds perfect," said Bokuto.

"Mm."

"Could we… still go?"

Akaashi looked at Bokuto. At his hands that clutched at Akaashi's shirt. At the hope in his eyes. "Bokuto…"

"Please," said Bokuto, his voice wobbling. "I want to go. I've loved you for so long, if you tell me I can't anymore, I… it might just kill me. This date is perfect. You're perfect. You're everything. Please don't tell me I ruined everything by being my stupid, idiotic self."

"You… How do I know you won't just forget again?"

Bokuto's face crumpled. "I want to promise I won't, but… I know myself, Akaashi, I'm forgetful. I'm careless. I absolutely won't forget our next date, probably not the next twenty, but around fifty, I might! I don't know! I can promise that I'll try my hardest! And that I'll do everything I can to make you happy!"

"You… see us together fifty dates from now?"

"I see us together fifty years from now!"

Akaashi felt his face flush pink.

"You're it for me, Akaashi."

Akaashi hugged his knees tighter. "Okay."

"Hm?"

"Okay, I'll take you out again. For the first time."

Bokuto lit up. "You will?! For real?! You will, Akaashi?!"

"Please stop shouting."

Bokuto pulled Akaashi off the kitchen floor and into a strong, warm hug. "Can we go today?"

Akaashi swallowed and buried his face in Bokuto's shoulder. "Whatever you want, Bokuto-san."

Bokuto pulled pack and cradled Akaashi's head in his hands. "Akaashi… Yesterday… Yesterday, when you called me on the phone. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I…" Why hadn't he? "I don't know."

"You… could have reminded me. I would have… I would have come. Instantly."

"I wasn't sure you wanted to be reminded."

"I did," said Bokuto, his eyes wide and sincere. "I do. Please. If anything like this ever happens again, please don't keep it to yourself. I just keep thinking of you waiting for me at that station, and then going home all by yourself, and crying–"

"I wasn't crying."

"Your eyes are so red, Akaashi!"

"So are yours!"

"Yeah, well I cried the whole way here!"

"You're crying now."

"So are you!"

Ah. So he was.

Bokuto wiped away Akaashi's tears with gentle hands. He was staring at his lips. "I know you're… supposed to wait until the end of the first date to kiss–"

"That's not a rule," said Akaashi.

"It isn't?"

"No."

"Then… could I…" he leaned in. Akaashi let him. Then Bokuto kissed him. Akaashi let him do that, too.