Thanks to FloraOne for beta'ing and for her encouragement. Thanks to Viz for putting out an actual good English language dub of Sailor Moon, and thanks to the filler R arc for being just so bananas crazy.

Chapter 8

I have plenty of bad memories, moments I'd rather not relive, and moments I'd pay anything to forget. Being wrapped in the vine-tentacles of a giant tree doesn't even reach my top ten, now.

But at the time? When all I knew was my strange, detached civilian life of Chiba Mamoru - sans powers, sans connection to the Earth, sans super hero persona - it was absolutely one of the strangest, most painful things to happen to me.

Even while the vines squeezed my chest until I struggled to breathe, sizzling with pain as they sent an electric-like current through me, I was reaching for Usagi. I barely felt my pain, so heart-wrenching were her screams.

I don't know what I thought would happen if we'd be able to grab hands - I was certainly in no position to be of any help to her - but at that moment, touching her felt like the most important thing in the world. My joints protested my straining reach, and I was only rewarded with the barest brush of her fingertips before our hands were kicked apart by … Seijuro.

But… Not Seijuro. Ail. And Natsumi was An. The leering faces and evil laughter from the VR Theater, from the attacks all over the city. The realization was like ice in my veins.

"Don't touch MY Usagi!" he said, his eyes all sharpness and anger and nothing of the hesitant desperation I noticed out on the balcony.

He and Nastumi- An - were arguing again, and I turned back to Usagi. Her eyes were dull and color fading from her face fast. A vision of the dead monster flashed through my mind. How much longer until this precious, precious person is tossed to the ground in a lifeless heap?

"Odango Atama—"

She looked up at me, blinked. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry. For every mean thing I ever said to her, for every time I ignored her or made her cry. That I knew I was inadequate and undeserving but that she had to know that… that...

I loved her.

I fucking loved her.

And now we were about to die.

But before I could even open my mouth, there was a bolt of excruciating pain and Usagi's screams echoed in my ears as everything went dark.

Everything hurt. That was the first thing I was aware of. The second thing was the warmth of a hand holding mine - firmly, lovingly. "Mamoru? You're awake?"

She sounded worried. Why was she so worried? It's fine, Odango Atama, I said, only my lips wouldn't move so I just thought the words instead. So silly. To be worried. What did she have to worry about in her cheerful little life?

Then my vision cleared and it was Sailor Moon, looking down at me with luminous eyes and a worried frown.

"Sailor … Moon…" Of course she'd be here. Fighting monsters. Like in the little show on the street. Like in the VR Theater. So pretty. So brave.

"It's me," she said, "Usagi? The girl you call Odango Atama?"

"Usagi." I don't know why, perhaps it was the blow to the head or the energy the tree had stolen, but my reaction was one of subdued acceptance. Yes. Usagi was Sailor Moon. Of course. More to the point, she was holding my hand in both of hers. I liked that part.

"Try to remember," she begged, "About the Moon Kingdom? How we fought together, against the Dark Kingdom. How you'd show up just in time to rescue me?"

Nothing. There was nothing.

But, I would show up to rescue you, I thought. A million times. If I ever got the chance.

"Please remember the girl you loved…"

"The Moon Kingdom? Memory…?" There was that wall again, that sickening, dizzying nothing. But this time, I didn't run. I didn't fight it. If she needed me to, I'd crawl right into the depths of it.

But before I could explore this epiphany further, her hand was torn from mine.

Ail and An slammed us with sonic waves of attack, throwing us through the air like rag dolls. My body slammed into a tree root, and I clung to consciousness as best I could.

Head spinning, I struggled to open my eyes, only to see Sailor Moon in front of me, taking the full brunt of the force of the attack.

"Why would you risk yourself like that?" Ail demanded, echoing the same question circling through my own mind.

Why? Why is she doing this for me? Please, stop! I'm not worth it.

"I would do anything to protect those I truly love!" she cried. "I don't care what happens to me, just spare Mamoru's life!"

Usagi. The girl who got excited about 80% off candy, downed a giant crepe in two bites, the girl who cried in fear at fake arcade monsters and spent hours perfecting her Evil Queen cackle. The girl who - given just the smallest opening in the fortress I'd carefully constructed around my heart - proceeded to cheerfully demolish the whole thing and make a home there. How was she even more incredible than I'd thought? How could I possibly be more in love with her?

It should have felt familiar, leaping in front of her to shield her from the attack with my body.

It didn't, of course, feel familiar. But, it felt right.

She sobbed my name, begging me to stop, and the injuries tore screams from my throat despite myself. Without the extra stamina of my powers (all of which were busy being condensed into Moonlight Knight), I was taking a massive beating. But I fought against the blackness seeping into my vision as pain wracked my body. I would not pass out. I would not lose consciousness.

I had to protect her.

I managed for a few more blurry, desperate moments, fought with everything I had - but it was too much.

I never did tell her I loved her, I thought as darkness fell. But that's okay. It didn't matter. Only she mattered.

My powers as Moonlight Knight were getting weaker. My timing was off, her call hadn't reached me fast enough, my physical being struggled to form. I had been trying not to think about it, but the truth had always been there - this form, by its very nature, was temporary. I couldn't sustain it forever, and I'd always assumed I wouldn't have to.

But perhaps I was overly optimistic. I knew the risk going in, that should I fail to return to the physical vessel of Chiba Mamoru before my power waned, I might dissolve like Anderson's mermaid into so much sea foam. But no risk was too much, not when it meant protecting Sailor Moon, protecting Endymion's love for her from the Silver Crystal's misguided purge.

As it was, I did manage to prevent Ail and An from attacking the senshi, with a turn of phrase and perfectly timed white rose.

Ail and An turned on me with snarls on their faces and hate in their eyes, ready to kill without a second thought. So angry, so broken.

They reminded me a bit of a warped version of myself - what could have so easily happened to an arrogant prince of a fallen kingdom, to the unwanted orphan in the heartless steel of a city.

I could have so easily turned as bitter as they did. But I'd been lucky. I'd had her.

And those were the thoughts I took with me, when an energy blast from Ail hit me head on and dissolved Moonlight Knight into oblivion.

But how do you kill someone who was never technically alive?

I found myself in a place of fog and shadow, still Moonlight Knight - and I wasn't alone. Sailor Moon was with me, standing beside the prone body of Chiba Mamoru - and I could sense he was clinging to life with that same desperation he and I shared.

Prince, child, civilian, king… whatever form I've had or will have, fighting death with everything I had (and winning) has always been a calling card of sorts.

"Sailor Moon," I said. My heart - though not physical, not real - was breaking.

I wasn't, technically, leaving her. I knew that. But, standing here before Sailor Moon in this empty place, it felt like goodbye.

I would never inhabit this consciousness again. I would never need to. Still, I mourned. I would disappear, become one with Mamoru's memories -but myself as I am would never gaze upon those lovely eyes again.

It had to be this way. It was best this way.

"Sailor Moon… Tsukino Usagi… I will reveal myself to you," I said. I could sense I didn't have much time. There was so much I needed to say. I lowered the mask.

"I don't understand," she said, eyes shifting between Mamoru's unconscious physical form and my floating, ethereal one. "There's two Mamorus?"

My perfect, precious, brave warrior princess. I could not explain it fully in the time we had left, but if there is one thing Tsukino Usagi always understands, it's love.

Her eyes swam with tears as I explained I was Mamoru's devotion to her made manifest.

"So… you're leaving?" she whispered, a tear escaping her lashes to trace down her cheek. I ached to brush it away, but that was a privilege not meant for me.

I shook my head, slowly. I am merely going to be looking at you through a new set of eyes, I thought.

"My role has come to an end," I said. She was crying. For me. It was too much and it was everything. Soon, she would be in his arms - my arms, I reminded myself - and would have no more reason for tears. "Now that Chiba Mamoru has fallen in love with you on his own, he'll rejoin with me and stay by your side."

Her eyes grew wide at the words 'fallen in love' and I let a soft, small smile settle on my lips. She was so vulnerable, still, so unsure. Chiba Mamoru had a lot of work to do, to restore her confidence in his feelings - our feelings - toward her.

Then, feeling my eyes burn, although they weren't even real eyes, I whispered my final words to her: "Adieu."

I awoke to find myself in shadow and mist. "Odango Atama!" I sprang to my feet, all pains and fatigue gone. All around me, nothing but emptiness and my own echo.

Am I… dead?

A patronizing chuckle reverbated by my side and I turned to find myself face to… well, face to mask with that Moonlight Knight character from the VR theater. "No, you aren't dead," he said, answering the question I hadn't said out loud.

"Are you reading my mind?" I spun around, fists clenched, wired and tired and wary.

"That's one way of putting it I suppose," he said, still looking amused. I realized I could see the mist behind him - through him. He shimmered like a ghost.

"Something funny?" I demanded. Sailor Moon was being attacked by a giant, sentient evil tree while he and I stood uselessly in this weird mist place, so I didn't see the humor in the situation.

"I'm just very glad to see you finally have a place for me."

"Huh?" I blurted out, brilliantly. He chuckled again, shaking his head. Even though he was fading further and further, I could still see an amused twinkle in his eyes that suggested he was smiling underneath the white half-mask.

"You took long enough," he continued, rolling his eyes slightly. "I honestly thought you might never realize."

Was I supposed to have realized something? Is that what Sailor Moon meant by 'try to remember'? Should I tell him I've realized absolutely nothing and have only gotten more and more confused every passing minute?

"Oh, don't worry, you know more than you think you do," he assured me. "I never doubted you loved her. Or, that you would come to love her - deeply and hopelessly - very quickly. You always do. That will never change."

I swallowed, still looking at him but a little less warily.

"But, despite that, your stubborn denial of your feelings was blocking me from returning to you." He sighed, almost sadly. "I am giving you back what was taken from you."

"What was taken from me?" I repeated.

And then, just like that, he was gone.

I remembered everything. Like waking up from a nightmare and forgetting where you are for a brief moment before your eyes adjust to the golden dawn through the curtains and you look around and realize. Oh. Yes. I know this place.

I'm home.

One more chapter to finish it off!