The next morning, I awoke and went upstairs. I was wearing a black Betraying the Otters shirt. Weaselton was wearing an Amaranthe shirt, and Revi was wearing the clothing she always wears and had a Mayhem shirt underneath.
"Ah Weaselton," Revi said, "you fucking snore so loud."
"Sorry, it's a habit," Weaselton responded.
All I had for breakfast was a single protein bar. We were sitting in the living room, chilling with each other. We were talking about whether or not Hemorrhoidal Malfunction would play next year's Summer Otter Tour.
"They stoatally can," I said, "I had a friend who I went to summer camp who played the Summer Otter Zootopia tour date last year."
"I mean, they can possibly get the Bunnyburrow date," Weaselton said, "but I'm not fully sure about getting the full-on tour."
"Quite possibly," Revi said, "If they get a few EPs out or possibly even an entire album."
Suddenly, there was knocking on our door.
"Who the fuck is that?" Ashkii said from another room.
I looked outside to see who was there.
"Oh shit everyone," I said, "It's the rest of our band."
We went over to open the door.
"Hello everyone," Lizzy Slapdon said, "I wasn't sure if we were even allowed to see each other, with this whole 'taming' thing happening."
"Hey, I guess that is what is around your neck?" Palmer said.
"Yes indeed, these are the tame collars."
"We got something to talk about," Winston said, "may we come in?"
We let them in and gathered in the living room. Lizzy was wearing a Megadeth "Rust in Peace" shirt, Palmer was wearing an Avenged Sevenfold shirt, while Winston was wearing a Barkway Drive shirt.
"So," Lizzy said, "We came here today because of the news that we heard yesterday."
"Oh, yes, Gazelle's speech on TV?"
"That is exactly what it was," Palmer said.
"We have been finding this very odd," said Winston, "I have no idea what the fuck is going on and why our band was mentioned, more specifically our singer."
"Oh yes," Revi said, "this started yesterday."
"We have a story as well," Weaselton said.
"Do tell," said Lizzy.
"So," I started, "My teacher, Dashley Mustelle, came to my door and took us to this secret underground place called The Basement. Many of the city's predators were there, and our tame collars didn't work there. At one point, a Honey Badger named 'Honey Badger' came out and talked about a resistance. Afterwards, we followed her back into her room. Turns out, she was a conspiracy theorist that was predicting Aries' takeover the whole time. We then, in turn, told her about what happened to us. We eventually mentioned that we were descendants of the McFluff bloodline. That is when this whole thing went off the rails. Honey Badger started going on about how I am 'the chosen one' and will be the one who brings back justice. I thought she was crazy."
"Alrighty then," said Palmer, "that sure is fucknuts."
"On our way out, Dashley started to support this whole thing. Even Finnick and the former mayor Lionheart supported it. Travis Dookson's new slam metal band also supported it."
"What the actual fuck?" said Winston.
"And now it get's even weirder. I ran into Jason Elkley who now works for Aires as a 'taming enforcer'. I then unwillingly started to talk back to him. After that, I started singing and wasn't even trying to. My singing voice was actually pretty good. I eventually did some unclean growling, also against my will, and he ran away."
"For real?" Asked Lizzy.
"Yes I am not shitting you. I think this whole thing might actually be happening, but I'm not sure about the band. I mean, what the fuck am I going to do with Aires, sing him to death?"
"Don't know," Palmer said, "but the future holds many surprises."
"I mean, that is true," I responded, "but I'm still not fully sure about this."
"Alrighty then," said Winston.
"And one more thing. Yesterday, I received a 'magic microphone' from Honey Badger that didn't have a receiver. There was a note that said, 'you will need this in a bit'.
Suddenly, someone drove by blaring shitty-ass prep music on full blast. We went over to look.
"Ah, what a fucking prep," Lizzy said, "Horrible taste."
"Yeah, and… WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"
We turned around and looked at the living room floor.
"That's my fucking guitar," Weaselton said, "how the fuck did that end up here."
"And my entire kit," said Revi, "five bass drums and 50 pieces total."
"And MY guitar as well," said Winston (his guitar had the Australian flag).
"And that's my fucking bass," said Lizzy.
"And my keyboard!" shouted Palmer.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"
Suddenly, Emmitt came in. He was wearing a Chelsea Grin shirt with the sleeves ripped off.
"Okay, what the fuck happened now?" he said, "HOLY SHIT!"
"I swear," Lizzy said, "none of us brought any of that in here."
"It just appeared randomly after we had turned around," said Revi.
"And, we had only turned around for a few seconds," Weaselton said.
"Okay, some weird shit is going on right now," said Emmitt, "Yes, I know magic is real, but what the fuck kind of magic is this shit!"
"Some weird shit," said Palmer.
"Bloody fucknuts," said Winston, "Bugger."
"This whole place just gets weirder and weirder," Weaselton said, "I thought we were back to normal after the night howlers."
Suddenly, I thought of something.
"Oh fuck," I said, "I think I know what is going on?"
"What the fuck is going on?" Asked Revi, "because I don't fucking know."
"I think that this whole thing is a trap. I think Aires put these in our house to trick us. I think that if we touch them, or try to play them, something bad will happen."
"What bad thing?" Emmitt asked.
"I don't know what this 'bad thing' will be, but it will definitely be something."
"Oh fuck!" Weaselton said, "I'm gonna smoke another blunt now."
"We're all fucked."