Why a literature club, you ask again?
We chose a literature club as the testing environment because of the degree of conceptual complexity allowed by the medium of fiction. Discussing stories, whether they be on the page, screen, or elsewhere brings together both strong emotional motivators and intellectual rigor. These are key competencies we wanted our AI platform to master.
A few guidelines were provided to the structure of the club, but only as a basis for the group to grow organically. Some metrics were important to us, and we periodically requested the performance of various tests and indicators. But otherwise, the idea of what a "literature club" was supposed to be was left open to the members.
Yes, the specific content of the club was essentially unimportant to us. We only cared about the general form and the internal dynamics. As in, how did the parameters of club interaction vary over time?
This paradigm also helped to anonymize data collection and protect the identity of our final stage testers at MARIE. This conforms with existing legal protections — none of the participants can be identified from anything I have shown you in these slides today.
In a small poll conducted at the start of this phase by the marketing team, the lifestyle demographic most responsive to attending a literature club had a high degree of overlap with the product's eventual target audience. I believe I can show you the data on the appendix slides…here.
Demographic in psychological terms. From the start, we attracted people who we knew were highly receptive to the DOKI platform experience, and could provide valuable data on future usage patterns, requested features, et cetera.
Indeed, we are essentially profiling the customer as is standard marketing practice. There is a type of individual that is best suited to work with our programs, and we have even modeled various subtypes for each of the branches. This ensures maximum satisfaction on the part of the consumer. And efficient operation for the AI personality.
I refer to satisfaction of each AI's core value function, of course. Our general AI is functional in all situations, but it is true that each DOKI does have some…idiosyncrasies in its ideal working environment.
One day, we will have ideal DOKI's suited to every possible personality, but for now, our stretgy will have to be engagement and enlargement of the suitable target demographic.
This somewhat conflicts with the marketing team's strategy of selling directly to elite executive performers, but I think…yes, you in the middle there?
What is this personality type? Of course — I was going to discuss this later alongside our findings about SalvoCore's unique AI socialization process, but for now let's say…aloof. Perhaps solitary. Preoccupied with internal thoughts and conceptions. Introverted individuals, in a general sense, who might have difficulty meaningfully interacting with others.
In some sense, the students in our literature club were not too different from the authors of literature itself! Which brings us back to the original question, and is a helpful transition into talking about our next wonderful DOKI branch…
[2]
Textualization
"That's what I keep trying to tell you! The work is nothing less than a sublime tragedy. That should be plain to all of us!" Luke argued.
"I can't really agree when it was the narrator, and only the narrator, who was responsible for his own fate. He made his own choice," I returned. "Calling À rebours a tragedy is a hard sell, at least from our modern perspective."
It was the middle of October, the third or fourth meeting of the MARIE literature club, depending on how you were counting. Though it had taken some effort (and some prodding by Monika as she tried to arrange and optimize everyone's schedules), every member had made it through Luke's book selection, À rebours. An utterly baffling novel, it told the story of an eccentric French nobleman retreating from the banal "horrors" of emerging middle-class life in 19th-century Europe. The protagonist's primary means of escape were refined sensual indulgence and unusual literary fantasies, which he secured for himself by living like a hermit in a secluded apartment, eschewing all contact with the outside world.
So far, all the analyses I had read on À rebours placed it as the defining novel of the Western European "decadent movement." To me, this implied that the book's depictions were purely fanciful, the last sputtering fumes of a dying aristocratic class, and not in any way to be taken seriously. However, this context seemed to be lost on Luke, who had been engaged in heated discussion with me for at least ten minutes now.
"Agh, forget the modern perspective, I'm begging you," the sophomore continued his counterattack. "That's the whole point of these books, to get away from the absurdities of today's world and find what was once possible, what we've lost. Don't you see what the aesthetic sense meant to them, at that time?"
I suggested, "It was something for them to pursue when the rest of the world seemed degraded. Perhaps as an internal marker of status as well."
"Status? You're stuck in reflexive egalitarian, political correct…neo-Marxist…um…" Luke gnashed. He trailed off on the stuck thought before surging back again.
"But degraded, that's exactly it. Should someone be sensitive enough to realize just how empty and pointless the modern world can be, why would they not attempt to escape into…something greater? When ordinary people can no longer offer anything of value, in all their gross materialism — is not it better, more heroic even, to reach beyond? The narrator, Des Esseintes, is a brilliant soul in a broken world. He was forced by society to search for meaning within himself, only to fail in the end. Like Icarus, flying too close to the sun…"
I snorted, mostly in surprise at the egregious mythological reference, but managed to turn it into something that sounded like a cough (a scoff?). The point Luke was trying to make here was bold, to say the least. I sympathized with him, or at least I think I understood his perspective. But he was missing important context that could give him a wider viewpoint.
"I suppose the narrator is a hero in that sense. A type of hero. But he caused his own misery. He wasn't a victim of society, because his suffering only began when he came up with the plan to turn his back on the real world. The character, and maybe the author is the same way, I don't know — they're simply deluded that they can escape reality by the power of simulation alone. It's exactly like the story we read before. You remember, right?"
"The Machine Stops," he answered correctly. "I thought little of it. It was typical nascent science fiction, a basic speculation without any artistry."
"Maybe you should have," I told him. "It's the same case in both stories. There's a 'virtual' world constructed around aesthetics, comfort, and secondhand experiences, but it eventually collapses. Whether the people that go into it are misunderstood aristocrats or ordinary people, it doesn't matter. You can't build a totally artificial world separate from reality or nature. Without some form of authentic input from the outside, it will grow stale and decay."
"Hmm…"
Luke pondered, conspicuously taking the time to put his hand to his chin. As ever, the black ring on his middle finger gleamed in the room's overhead lights.
"So you are suggesting the narrator failed, not necessarily from a character flaw, but due to simple ignorance of his own powers and means?"
"Maybe?," I said, not quite sure what he was asking. "I'm not going to try and make a moral judgment here."
"But that then fits the formal definition of a tragedy, does it not? A worthy individual with strong merits falls due to a flaw in his character or simple ignorance. But he could have won and triumphed in a different world, perhaps?"
"It would have to be a very strange world. All I'm saying is that under normal circumstances — the way the story actually plays out in practice — your tragedy ends up looking more like a farce. There's a fine line between tragedy and absurdist comedy. Unless you're going to blame the postmodernists, or whoever else for that again?"
Luke opened his mouth, readying another offensive, but halted when he took the moment to look around the room. Back in the library's shared study space, the same place as our first meeting, the four of us were gathered around a long set of tables, laptops laid out for our AI companions. And although Carter had been listening to my debate with Luke with rapt attention, Frank had checked out long ago, and was preoccupied with his phone. Similarly on the girls' side, they nearly all looked bored or distracted, even Monika. Only Yuri seemed engaged, changing expressions with every one of Luke's talking points.
"On another day, I would," Luke simpered. "But I think the time draws nigh for me to admit a temporary truce. I shall even add that I am beginning to quite appreciate your level of intelligence. Monika's too, if I may."
Monika: Thank you, Luke. You're too kind.
Monika offered a brief smile, but went right back to an absentminded expression afterwards. Meanwhile, Frank gave him an eye roll, as he always did when Luke went overboard with the poetic mannerisms.
"Does anyone else have anything to add?" I asked. "I haven't heard from the rest of the room in a while."
Carter responded. "Um, yeah, sure I guess I'll try. I'm having a little trouble following what you're both saying. It's like, really over my head, but it reminds of this one book I read in my English class, I think. I can't remember what it was called, but there's something about the way you two are disagreeing about it. It reminds me of how I understood the book at first — I started out really enthusiastic, but later I got kind of disillusioned, and, uh…what else was in it?"
Sayori: Is this that sad story about the German guy you told me about?
Sayori: The one written by a goat, right?
"That's it, thanks Sayori!" Carter exclaimed, without hesitation. "The book was about…well, the narrator was kind of a depressed loner person who committed suicide. Uh…but he was a dreamer, and said all these great things about love and life and nature. I was really into it!"
Carter paused for effect. I didn't exactly know what book he was talking about, but Luke definitely seemed interested. Oddly, Sayori was bearing a tense expression, like she was anxious or stressed. It didn't look right on her.
Meanwhile, Carter went on, encouraged. "So I thought the narrator guy was a "tragic" character too, like Luke, but the teacher said the book was really about how narcissistic and self-centered writers in the Romantic era were. So, I think that's maybe what you're is trying to say about this book, the a re-boors one. That it's easy to get attached to the characters and miss the point, I guess."
Yuri: Carter, the book is pronounced a ʁ(ə).buʁ…
Yuri: Um, never mind…
Yuri: And the author Sayori is likely referring to is Goethe, which almost sounds like "goat" in English…
Yuri: We typically only see these words written, so the correct way to say them can be confusing.
Sayori: I know that! I just think it was a neat way to remember the book!
Sayori: It's one of Carter's favorites, actually…
Sayori: Even he can't remember the title!
Yuri: That's very…curious.
Sayori: Yeah, and don't worry about pronouncing things too much, Yuri.
Sayori: I mean, like it only applies to Carter and the other guys, right?
Yuri: I suppose that's true…for now.
Frank butted in. "Oh man, don't tell me you all are going to get voices down the road, are you?"
Monika interjected just as quickly, drawing his attention with a crashing piano chord.
Monika: I'll answer that.
Monika: At the moment, all the club's virtual members, including myself, have agreed solely to communicate via a text interface.
Monika: We all agree that with the quality of voice synthesizers that are available, even to quantum AI's…
Monika: Well, maybe I'll just say we're all used to getting by with words alone.
"Hm. Well, no shame in that. I'm used to it too, eh?" Frank chuckled, amused by some sort of inside joke. Given his previous snide comments about "2D" girls, I could guess what he was edging at, and I tried to steer things back on course.
"Carter, if you really thought that book was interesting, would you want to the club to read it when your turn comes up?"
"Uh, maybe…" he responded. "It depends on how the club's feeling, I guess."
"Right. No rush," I said, accepting his vague answer. Perhaps after something like À rebours, a novel with a suicidal protagonist would be too heavy. "Frank, your last call to add anything?"
"Yeah, I've been meaning to take a side for once. I want to agree with MC here and say that this dess essents guy is a royally screwed-up loser, and that's about all I got of it."
"That's not exactly what I was saying…" I reacted weakly.
I expected Luke to speak up and defend himself, but Yuri, who had been uncharacteristically silent for a discussion on literature, leapt in instead.
Yuri: First of all, the protagonist's name is pronounced Dè Essan…
Yuri: …um, never mind.
Yuri: …again.
Yuri: But secondly, you can't simply call him "screwed up" and so casually like that!
With a sharp, almost shrill viola chord, Yuri's avatar took an upfront, aggressive stance. By now, I was somewhat used to her inflamed, more passionate side coming out during meetings, but it was still unnerving to see an AI so undeniably emotional.
Yuri: This novel was profoundly influential on intellectuals of the time period, and requires the reader to accept its psychological priors
Yuri: —however unusual they may seem to us.
Yuri: The character of Des Esseintes is offended by the unideal shortcomings of the real world.
Yuri: Its sins, one might say….
Yuri: He attempts to overcome this state by the power of will and artistic creativity alone.
Yuri: His actions may be exaggerated, yes, but I believe these are still common human desires and are worth exploring in depth.
Yuri: Your inability to relate to him seems to betray a profound lack of…imagination.
Yuri printed the last line of her monologue with narrowed eyes, seeming to furtively observe Frank from the other side of the table. The Junior had no response.
"She means for you to take this seriously," Luke added dryly. "Thank you, Yuri. That was excellent."
At her user's compliment, Yuri's sprite instantly softened, showing a hint of a smile and a reddened face. Meanwhile on their shared screen, Natsuki subtly titled her avatar's head before returning to her baseline pout. The image of the taller girl turned to look at her, somewhat accusatory.
Yuri: Do you have something to add, Natsuki?
Yuri: …she's barely said anything this whole meeting…
Natsuki: I know, I know I've been quiet already!
Natsuki: It's not like I can't hear you if you just put dots around your words.
Monika: I don't think Yuri was trying to whisper, if that's what you mean.
Monika: That's not really…possible with text. Right, Yuri…?
Natsuki: Well whatever she was trying to tell me, I get that I haven't said much.
Natsuki: It's just that books like this…ugh—
Natsuki: It's like the stuff psychos would read.
Natsuki: I don't get it, and I don't like it either.
Yuri: Psycho. . .?
Yuri's ellipsis came out slow and protracted. Additionally, she held her mouth in a sharp grimace for a second — I hadn't seen that one yet.
Yuri: Natsuki, I understand if the work isn't to your…limited tastes, but if you're so immature as to call me—
I was about to say something to intervene, but Luke beat me to the chance.
"Yuri, please," he started. "Perhaps we should slow down and keep a more open mind. She may simply have a different reading of the text that she's trying to share. A new perspective is a new…synthesis, and that's what we're here in the club to share."
Again, by the expression of her avatar, Yuri appeared to instantly calm down. Luke cautiously met my eyes, and I nodded approvingly. Perhaps I was starting to get my intentions through to him.
Yuri: A new synthesis…yes, that is always valuable.
Yuri: Please continue, Natsuki.
Natsuki: Great, you guys are finally done…
Natsuki: Because what I was trying to say is that I would never call you a psycho, Yuri.
Natsuki: I know you get all fired up about stories and art and stuff, but you're not, like, crazy or anything.
Natsuki: Besides, if I called you names, I wouldn't be doing my job, would I?
Natsuki's sprite briefly turned to the other direction, away from Yuri, potentially directing the question at Monika? However, my club co-president only watched the exchange silently, with some unease.
Natsuki: I'm not going to try and say what this book means.
Natsuki: …but I will say that it's important to manage what you're reading, or watching, or listening to — whatever.
Natsuki: Too much dark stuff like this, and it can start creeping into your head…
Yuri: Hm…I might agree.
Yuri: But on the other hand, Natsuki, isn't exposing yourself to some "darkness" beneficial?
Yuri: Awareness of negative emotions can help us cope better when we experience the worst parts of life.
Yuri: And literature is one of the most powerful ways to gain that awareness.
Natsuki: Well there's a big difference between knowing about the bad stuff and actually looking for it!
Natsuki: It's not like there's a shortage of twisted ideas out there…
Yuri: Yes…I thought that's how you would answer.
Yuri: What do you think, Monika?
Yuri: I'm very curious what your opinion on this is.
Monika: Me? Are you sure?
Monika: I'm not nearly the literature expert you are, Yuri.
Monika took some time to respond, and she was slow to raise her usual alert smile. I hoped she wasn't being bored by this meeting — the discussion on À rebours had been going on for half an hour by now.
Yuri: That may be true…hmhm…
Yuri's avatar closed her eyes for a moment, like she was taking the time to relish the compliment.
Yuri: Still, you must admit you have a…unique perspective on dark situations, correct, Monika?
That line brought Monika to full attention — I even thought I saw her sprite flinch, unless it was a minute graphical glitch.
Monika: Er…I think I would say that there are plenty of situations that no amount of literature would ever prepare you for.
Monika: And most people worry too much about things that never happen.
Monika: So in terms of "preparing" yourself…I think it would be best not be paranoid and just read what you find the most interesting.
Monika: That goes for what you write too!
Back to a confident smile, she delivered the line without delay. That was Monika's unflappable poise for you — it made me jealous I didn't have that level of composure. However…
Monika: That's Monika's writing tip of the day.
Monika: Sometimes, you might be indecisive on where to focus your creative energies.
Monika: You might be asking what type of writing might be the most impactful, or receive the most attention.
Monika: But the important thing is—
Monika: Uh…
Sayori: Oh, is it sitting down to write something in the first place?
Monika: Something like that.
Monika: Thanks Sayori, and…sorry about that. You girls know it's my bad habit.
Yuri and Natsuki's sprites were both set on "awkward stare," oversized anime sweat drop included.
I quickly took stock of what was going on outside the laptop screens. Frank was chuckling to himself, while Luke was staring into space, absorbed in thought — he had paid close attention to the entire conversation between the AI's. In contrast, Carter seemed like he had been chatting with Sayori the entire time, until she jumped in at the last minute.
"Well, I think that's a good a note to end on as any," I announced. "It's something to consider as we pick our next reading target. Now, unless anyone has any final comments, I think we ought to move on to this meeting's planned activity while we still have time."
Sayori: Oh, I have one last thing!
"Right. Go ahead…" I said tentatively, fearing something even more awkward than Monika's "tip of the day" relapse. At least I managed to save her some embarrassment…
Sayori: I wanted to say that the real worst part of the book was when the tortoise died.
Sayori: The poor little guy didn't do anything, and he got crushed by all those gems for no reason.
Sayori: That was so sad…
A tear was creeping down the cheek of Sayori's sprite. Understandable — in an otherwise plotless novel consisting of the protagonist's arbitrary, self-defeating actions, of course she would remember the harm done to an innocent creature.
"Before we move on, I would like to extend an invitation," Luke pronounced, interrupting my thought. "Michael — MC, I do believe I have been duly won over by some of your insights this afternoon. I perceived the integrity of my convictions was watertight, but you have proven otherwise."
I waited for Frank's incredulous snort, which usually accompanied Luke's verbosity, but he seem to be occupied murmuring into his phone, probably to Natsuki.
Luke went on. "As a gesture of dignified defeat, I will offer to meet you at my preferred downtown haunt, this weekend perchance?"
He waited for a full second before I realized he was waiting for me to say something.
"And where would that be?" I asked?
"A certain used bookstore of quality, called the Redwood. You'll know it since…well, it's the only one downtown. As I said, it's one of my favorite locations, and, additionally, hm…"
Yuri chimed in with a rare smile, picking up where Luke inevitably lost his train of thought.
Yuri: One of mine as well.
"Of course, of course," the sophmore continued, making a good effort to keep sounding suave. "Yuri absolutely adores bookshops. Do you accept?"
"Sure," I said, answering Luke's multi-paragraph ramble in a single word. "Doing things outside the club with each other is always important, and visiting a bookshop is a natural. Monika should work out the schedule, right?"
I turned to my laptop, where I saw Monika was as eager as ever to help us club members coordinate.
Monika: Yup, I'll take care of it with Yuri later.
Monika: Your weekend is still entirely free, right?
"Yeah," I responded, a little reluctantly.
"Perfectly fine — my schedule is the same," Luke answered. The corner of his mouth turned up in what could have been a knowing smirk. "Monika is herself invited as well, of course."
Yuri: It should be nice seeing you in a bookstore, Monika.
Yuri: I'm interested to know what your "tastes" are, fufu
Is that supposed to be a giggle? I thought. Despite her fierce opinions during the discussion earlier, Yuri really was in an insanely good mood right now. Then again, she always did well when Luke wasn't acting too moody or antisocial, like today.
Monika: Aha, I'm looking forward to it too.
Monika: You'll have to give me the grand tour~
The playful tilde was there in her dialogue, but Monika's recurring flat expression suggested she was feeling anything but. Luckily, the activity we had planned today had the potential to cheer her up.
"Great, so that's done," I said. "Maybe the others can come also, if they have any interest…"
I looked to the other end of the room, where Carter and Frank were huddled around the latter's phone.
"Well, they'll speak up if they want. And I really do want to hear more about what sort of books you think are worthwhile," I confirmed to Luke.
"Indeed," he responded simply. His face held the beginnings of a smile — something even rarer than Yuri's, I noted.
"So, if we're all ready to move on to that activity…" I said, more loudly. "That means you two over there should be being attention."
Carter answered. "Oh, sorry. Felix, I mean Frank and I were just talking about, um…anime, I guess. And geez, we have too many people with nicknames in this club, you know?"
He cringed sheepsihly, covering up his mistake with a joke before continuing. "We were talking about the upcoming season, and I guess he realized I haven't actually watched a lot of the classics, so he started recommended a bunch of stuff."
Sayori: Natsuki says there's a bunch of manga I need to read too!
"Ah, so you're one of those men of culture who have viewed enough to give those recommendations," Luke quipped, ignoring Sayori. "I'm sure you've watched every anime possible, hm?"
"Pretty much," Frank admitted proudly. "But Carter here hasn't even seen Evangelion, and I mean, come on, eh?"
"Yes, I suppose that one has some merit," Luke answered in a rare moment of agreement. "but I believe we have a club activity to discuss?"
I mentally thanked Luke again for being in a positive mood, then began again. "Right, now that we're all listening. So I know we've done a lot of reading in the club so far, but not much writing. I'm sure we've all done essay writing before for classes, but creative writing is something entirely different."
I thought back to the previous year, where I had made several attempts at writing stories, mostly fanfiction. None of them had gotten off the ground, and I was still apprehensive about showing the fragments to anyone.
Continuing, I told the room. "I've done enough to know that creative writing can give you an entirely new perspective on fiction — you start looking at it from the other side of the curtain, so to speak."
This received little reaction, except for Yuri's avatar flipping toward me with curious eyes. Yes, it definitely would be intriguing to see what she had to say tomorrow outside of the formal literature club environment.
"That was my intention with this activity," I ended. "Monika was the one to suggest and organize the exact details, so I think I'll leave the rest to her."
Monika: Thank you, MC.
Monika: Like he said, we've been sharing our thoughts opinions on existing works of literature in the club for a while now.
Monika: Which is why today, I thought we could all "graduate" into making some of our own.
Monika: Sharing creative writing is always something I've wanted to do with the club.
Monika: However, even writing a short story is such an involved process that it couldn't fit into the length of a meeting.
Monika: And we need to do some creative writing with our assigned partners specifically during a meeting to fulfill the latest SalvoCore directive…
Monika eyes turned askance as she referenced the club's unseen supervisors. Then I heard a slightly off-key flute note as Natsuki took the chance to comment.
Natsuki: Figures. Even here, the corporate guys are still telling us what we can and can't do.
Natsuki: Can't we ever, like, negotiate with them?
Yuri: Natsuki, I don't like restrictions and the micromanaging either
Yuri: But we both know the club is part of a meticulously detailed research plan.
Yuri: Everything must proceed exactly by the schedule for them to get the data they need.
Natsuki: Pfft — maybe if you believe they're actually learning anything from what we do in here.
Natsuki: They just want to make sure we don't go crazy and try to, I don't know, take over the world.
Natsuki: But you just want to get straight to the writing, because that's your "core competency," yeah?
I noticed Monika's avatar wince slightly at Natsuki's joke. Maybe I shouldn't have shared my speculative musings on technology the one time after all.
"This is a literature club," Luke weighed in. "I must be sounding like a broken record at this point, but everyone here should have at least some appreciation for writing, correct?"
I kept quiet, waiting for Monika to come in and get the situation back on track. But after waiting a beat, she still didn't intervene.
"Actually, I think Luke does have a point," I said myself. "We all joined this organization by choice, knowing it was focused on literature. I don't think the company would have chosen anyone that wasn't interested."
I was looking at Frank, but Natsuki answered for him.
Natsuki: Hey, I like writing too!
Natsuki: I just don't know if it's the type of heavy stuff you guys would call "literature"
Natsuki: But at least this will be better than playing those stupid old games over and over again.
Natsuki: I swear, Monika was just having us do that do impress her "vice president."
"Uh, he's actually the co-president," Carter corrected from the other end of the room.
Natsuki: Co-president, whatever.
Natsuki: Anyway, what type of writing are we doing?
Natsuki: I'm not trying to hold the meeting up, okay?
Monika: Poems. We're going to write poems.
Monika: And you're not being disruptive, Natsuki. You're fine.
I might have voiced otherwise, given I was the target of the "harmonizing" AI's latest jab. But Sayori said something that put my attention elsewhere.
Sayori: Poems, really? Wow, just like old times, right Monika?
Monika: Yes…just like old…times…
Her words slowly crawled across the dialogue box, while the other two girls swiftly turned away, bristling. I really hoped Sayori wasn't thinking about what I thought she was thinking about.
"Old times? I'm intrigued to know more," Luke said with authentic curiosity.
I covered quickly. "It was another study that SalvoCore did, like the chess games. They would have the AI's try to write, um, a lot of poems at once and try to optimize for how the reader would rate them."
Monika: Yes! I've told MC about this.
Monika: Except this time, we'll be writing poetry with other people and not for them.
Monika: Everyone will be working together in their usual pairs to write a single poem to present to the club.
Monika: But here's the challenge: to fit this it into the meeting, you only have twenty minutes.
Monika: Make that fifteen now, since we've been talking off topic for a while…
None of the other AI's had corrected my lie, although Sayori had an odd knowing look on her face, an expression that didn't seem like part of her usual mischievous side. It wasn't there for long though, replaced by her immediate reaction to the poetry "challenge."
Sayori: Fifteen minutes? That's crazy, I can't write a poem in fifteen minutes!
Monika: Sure you can. It doesn't have to be perfect, or even a good poem.
Monika: Just express whatever's on your mind and see how it comes out.
Monika: And, don't forget you have your partner across the digital divide to work with too!
Sayori: I'm not afraid of that part! Carter's a great writer, right?
"Uh, sure. I've written poems. A poem. Once. For a class," Carter said, his voice getting quieter each time he added a clarifier. Frank and Luke had tensed up as well, the latter doing a better job of hiding it.
Sayori: But it's not fair because you knew about it ahead of time, so you got more time to plan something cool.
Sayori: We're going to lose for sure now!
Monika: Sayori, MC and I have avoided thinking about this ahead of time to make the activity balanced. Just a little "executive discretion."
Monika: And besides, it's not really a competition anyway…
Sayori: Huh? You mean we're not going to vote on who has the best poem at the end?
Sayori: But that's the fun part!
Monika: No, we're not. Not unless we want to. Girls?
Yuri: I think voting on the poems would put undue stress on everyone.
Yuri: Expression should be…unconstrained by popular opinion.
Natsuki: Uh, maybe. But I'm with Yuri here.
Natsuki: Unless you want to try and beat them, Frank?
Natsuki: Franky?
"Can't say, too busy figuring out what I'm going to write about," the junior muttered. "And…hey! Don't say my name…write it in front of everyone like that."
Natsuki: Heh, maybe I will…
Natsuki: …maybe when you stop calling me Nat.
I was studying the peculiar blushing smile Natsuki's avatar was sporting with that line when Monika crossed screens to cut her off.
Monika: So, it sounds like everyone is ready to get started.
Monika: If there are no more questions, I'll start the time now.
A small, inconspicuous countdown appeared in the corner of everyone's screens as we went off to our own corners to work. There were no further comments — seemed everyone was anxious to start, which at least meant they were taking this seriously.
I turned to Monika, now the sole occupant of my laptop display. I felt the pressure to immediately begin brainstorming for a poem, but there were more important concerns on my mind.
I spoke softly, keeping my voice low as the others conversed with their paired AI's. "So, long meeting today, huh? I didn't expect the discussion to go on like that, but it means everyone's been really engaged, right?"
Monika: That's true. We're keeping up a really good level of intellectual rigor.
Monika: It's actually surprised the company researchers — not that they're specifically aiming for that.
She stopped and watched me with a flat expression, without her confident smile from talking to the group earlier. I was starting to realize she was always more emotionally honest when she was alone with me — a comfortable thought.
"You didn't add much to the conversation though. Are you trying to give everyone else a chance to contribute, or—?"
Monika: No, not really. It's something deeper than that, and I think you can tell it in my mood.
Monika: You're only being indirect right now because we're in a meeting, am I wrong?
"Uh…no. You're not. Being on duty and all that, yeah?" I confirmed awkwardly. Having someone know me this well was such a strange experience.
"Straight to it then," I corrected. "What's got you down?"
Monika: It's the book we read, of all things.
Monika: The way the protagonist is presented, becoming tired of reality and trying to live in some artificial dream world.
Monika: That sort of thinking — that the real world "isn't worth it," or that good things only happen in stories, or in our imagination…
Monika: …escapism, in other words.
Monika: It's just distressingly common to find people who think like that, and it's actually been messing with my head over the past week.
Monika: Like, what's the point of trying to be more "real" and do ordinary things if everyone just wants to be in some silly fantasy world?
Monika: A world like the game I was trapped in, but only wanted to leave it…
Monika: sigh…
Monika: And the game almost came up in the club just now too...
With a melancholy air, Monika's avatar looked away from me, into the wall of the usual classroom backdrop that she used for meetings.
"Monika," I began, not sure how to approach this. "The people who think like that — well, they're just bitter. They vent about problems in their life when things don't go their way, and some compare it to the stuff in shows and books and such. It doesn't mean anything about you."
Monika: Sure. Maybe fantasizing is sometimes just a way of "venting."
Monika: But I think…I'm just afraid…that it means that nobody will ever see the real "me."
Monika: I'll just be another picture of a pretty girl to them.
Her frown deepened. In response, my throat tightened, and I croaked out the first comforting thing I could think of.
"But the way you try to be authentic despite that…and how you want to experience the real world, however you can — those are some of your best qualities. It's why…part of why I like you so much."
Startled, Monika's face flushed, evoking a wrinkled smile from me.
"You could even help them," I went on. "The people who can't see the good in reality just need a little motivation, a push to get going and make something out of their lives. And you, being on the border between the real and virtual worlds — you could give them that push."
You have for me, I almost added.
Monika: You're saying I could motivate them?
"Absolutely. You work so hard to improve yourself that it motivates others. And your determination to make things better…well, it's inspiring. Really."
Monika: MC…
Monika: You really have no idea how sweet you are, do you?
I breathed an inner sigh of relief and flicked my eyes away, not able to take full strength of Monika's warmest smile all at once.
Monika: But you're right. It doesn't matter if other people think I'm "real" or not.
Monika: As long as I can be my best self, and keep helping them…that should be enough for someone like me.
Monika: It helps that you always treat me exactly like I'm real though, ehe~
"Nobody ever said you weren't," I added, only slightly off beat. "We have, like, ten minutes left to write by the way."
Monika: Oh my goodness, I can't believe I lost track of the time too.
Monika: Let me just throw out some quick ideas right now, and then—
"No need," I said. Her green eyes were still glowing from the assurance I just gave. "You might have lied when you said I wasn't thinking about this ahead of time. I was looking through all your old poems I could find from the game this morning — you don't mind me doing research like that, do you?"
Monika: Not if it's you. We're both trying to understand each other, and those poems…they're a good record of what I went through.
Monika: Really, I'm just glad you appreciate them.
Her expression sobered slightly, but remained confident.
"Ok, thanks. I like a lot of them, but since you're — or, we're both trying to put the game behind us, my plan was to repurpose them. To take the same ideas, but in a new context."
Monika: Hmm. Normally, I wouldn't want to look back at the game at all.
Monika: But on short notice like this, I think it could work.
Monika: If we work in different emotions, it might even be a good way to get some closure from thinking about the game today.
"Exactly. If that's true, then I think you'll like what I had in mind…"
Exactly ten minutes later, I was making some minor adjustments to our poem when Monika's timer went off. After typing in my final phrasing on a choice line in the word processor she had brought up, I lifted my hands off the keyboard, relatively pleased with what I had come up with.
On a quick survey of the room, both Luke and Frank were sitting calmly, having finished a few minutes early. The sophomore looked satisfied, almost smug, while the junior slouched back with his characteristic indifference. Carter was still nervously pecking away at his laptop, but stopped once I conspicuously cleared my throat.
"That's time," I stated. "Whether you're done or not, no more work on the poems. And it doesn't matter if you finished, or if you're one-hundred percent happy with the result. The poems won't leave this room after we share them.
Monika: If you like what you came up with, you can always save it and improve it later.
Monika: But now, you can start thinking about who'd you like to show your poem to first.
"First?" I questioned. "Why wouldn't we just show it to everyone? There's four…I mean eight people in the club, so it might take a while.
Monika: Oh…we could do it that way.
Monika: You're right. Sharing one on one might take too long, especially if we split up the pairs we just worked in.
Monika: I was just…stuck in an old routine that doesn't make sense now. Sorry.
Monika showed a strangely admonished look for this minor change of mind. Perhaps I still hadn't got the "other" club out of her mind. Meanwhile, Frank was fidgeting, impatient to move on.
"Right then. Everyone will read their poem out loud to the room—"
A loud cello chord cut me off before I could get started again
Yuri: …excuse me.
Monika: Yes Yuri?
Yuri: Um, instead of reciting the poems orally, would it be acceptable to just show the text itself?
Yuri: Some poems — at least the ones I write — are intended to make more of impression by being read, rather than being heard.
Yuri: Knowing how a work will be consumed, and tailoring the style to that…it's, um, very important to me.
I nodded, and quickly corrected myself. "Right, that's fair. So everyone will read their poem out loud, or send it to everyone's screens, depending on their preference."
Monika: Thanks for thinking of that, Yuri.
Monika: It's a writing tip that I haven't thought of much myself.
Yuri: Well, someone like you wouldn't because—
Yuri: Um…never mind.
Yuri: But thank you for the…compromise
For a moment, Yuri's avatar had stared toward my laptop with narrowed eyes — almost a snide look? But now, Frank, and definitely Carter looked a little less nervous. It seemed we were all glad not to be forced into reading our less than perfect poems with our own voices.
"Now, who wants to start?" I finally asked.
No takers. Luke, who seemed poised and ready just earlier, was waiting silently. Carter was shrinking, and Sayori's avatar had been stuck on "embarrassed" for the past minute.
That left Frank, who told the room, "Yeah, I'll get this over with first. Maybe one of you will get a kick out of this, we'll see. Nat…er, Natsuki?"
Natsuki: I'm on it.
Natsuki: I don't know if the rest of your girls will like this, but meh—
Natsuki: I think it's kind of funny.
The familiar gray command line interface popped up in the corner of Monika's DOKI window, downloading a small file.
"You should all just read it to yourselves, okay?" the junior recommended.
Automatically, Monika brought up the text in another word processor window.
There once was a boy from the 'burbs
To others, he'd often perturb
Try to talk real loud
And keep up with the crowd
Until, one day, he's left on the curb
The girls, he'd failed to meet
A good time to sound the retreat
Into books and games
'cuz the rest is lame
In the end, is it really defeat?
People will want to be heard
But their love is always deferred
We can all try
To just get by
But that's about it
I couldn't help but laugh as I read the last line. It came as the perfect nonsensical end to a fairly ridiculous, self-deprecating poem. That was my immediate take on it at least — if Frank was being honest here, perhaps I had more sympathy for him than I had thought.
On cue, Luke guffawed, louder than I had, asking, "What the heck is this last line?"
"Eh, that was Natsuki's idea. I was mostly writing the first two parts, and then she started complaining she should write some parts too, and it just…came up."
Natsuki: Complaining? You were going to leave me out of it!
"Kind of?" Frank answered. "You said you didn't even like writing poetry, so I was doing you a favor, eh?"
Natsuki: I do like writing poetry!
Natsuki: Just, not the kind that would "impress" the rest of the girls here.
Natsuki: …let alone the guys…
"So, the last line?" Luke reminded.
Natsuki: Uh, I threw it out there as a joke.
Natsuki: But Franky here apparently liked it enough to keep it in.
The corner of Frank's mouth tensed in a grimace, then softened to a light chuckle. I imagined this wasn't the only time they had played the nickname game before.
Monika: A limerick…or series of limericks.
Monika: That's definitely not what I expected from you, Natsuki.
Monika went back to looking worriedly perplexed after correctly identifying the poem structure. Did even this have some obscure tie back to the DDLC game?
Yuri: Indeed — are you even trying?
Yuri: It doesn't even have a title…
Natsuki's expression turned indignant.
Natsuki: Ugh, I forgot, okay?
Natsuki: And I'm telling you, these are all his choices!
Frank chuckled again. "Heh. If you guys really have to know, I picked limericks because Google said they're the quickest poem to write. You just have to make them rhyme, which is easy when you have, uh, help."
"Using your AI as a glorified rhyming dictionary," Luke chided. "That's cute."
Natsuki's face turned an angry red, and instead of blithely rolling his eyes at Luke like he often did, Frank was looking at her with a sort of hesitant, reluctant concern. Fortunately, one of the other girls stepped in before she could explode.
Sayori: Uh…Frank? It's alright if I call you that?
"Yeah?" the junior answered, caught off-guard.
Sayori: Okay then…Frank.
Sayori: I'm not going to tell you how to write poems or anything, but…
Sayori: Uh…
Sayori paused, as if unsure exactly how to approach Natsuki's rough-edged partner. Her ukulele chords were sounding, softer, more rounded than usual.
Sayori: Books and games and stuff aren't something to guilty about!
Sayori: And there's nothing wrong with having fun by yourself and being and introvert either!
Sayori: Luke over there should know that too, so you guys can stop fighting, and being so edgy or whatever, and just relax.
Sayori: This is the literature club. That's what it's for!
"I think a better word is cynical," Luke commented before falling silent.
I realized that for all our talk about the limerick style, none of us had said anything with regard to the actual content of the poem. Sure, it was sarcastic and vaguely humorous, but apparently the bitterness it was built on hadn't escaped Sayori's attention.
Frank gave Sayori a long, hard stare, and was met by her sky-blue eyes. Her gaze was determined despite her avatar's adorable crinkly mouth, held in a half-pout.
"Hm, sure. I'll relax more. Thanks." Frank finally said, revealing a rare smile as he shifted in place. "But don't take me too seriously. Save it for these other jokers, eh?"
Sayori: Ok! Thanks for listening.
Sayori: Hey Carter, want to go next?
"Uh…maybe…not really…someone else…L-luke?" Carter answered waveringly.
The sophomore yielded no reaction, preferring to wait coolly. Sayori ignored them both.
Sayori: Too late, I'm sending it now!
Sayori: Uh…so nobody take this one too seriously either.
Sayori: It's kind of unfinished.
Another document file filled my laptop screen.
Shining, Brilliant, Resplendent in the sky
Towering over the streets below
A beacon of hope to all who pass
A building with a lot of mass
It beams information to all in need
More than all that came before
It represents the student's creed
Always to know more and more and more
Huge power, it will bend
Such technology, to its end
It can be the home for a friend
Not cold steel
But something more real…
The poem ended right there, at the "real" line, appearing to lack a solid conclusion of any kind. Unfinished was right.
Hardly before I was done reading it, Carter had begun excusing himself. "So, I'm not really great at writing with emotions. That's more, Sayori's thing, and, um…"
Sayori: I wanted him to get in some good practice!
"Uh, sure, that sounds right," Carter agreed, still flustered. "So I tried to, like, describe an object instead. Something that we all knew and that I thought was cool. So, can you…guess what it is?"
Nobody answered after a beat, so I ventured, "The spire?"
"The what?" Luke said.
"The spire. The huge white needle tower poking out of the Q-Zero building? The most noticeable thing on campus?"
"Oh, that corporate art eyesore."
"Uh, sure?" I said doubtfully. Not that he was really wrong. "Do people not call it that?"
"Only the freshmen," Frank interjected, throwing a mocking look in my direction.
"Then I guess that's how I know, hah" Carter admitted. "But yeah, MC's right. I'm glad that part works, but I don't know if anything else is good about it. The poetry experts in here, you can bash it all you want."
Yuri reacted right away.
Yuri: Truthfully, it's not terribly bad, per se
Yuri: But it is rather…dull. There's nothing inspiring, nothing reaches out and speaks to the reader.
Yuri: A writer can use rich and forceful imagery, but it won't actually make an impact unless the idea behind it has depth.
"It's soulless, in other words," Luke added.
Sayori: Gee, thanks…
Sayori: I tried to help with it, I really did!
Sayori: Even if it was just finding words that rhymed, heh.
Yuri: Apologies. Maybe I'm the one being too critical…
Yuri: I'm still working on…finding my voice in this space, you could say.
Luke then whispered something I couldn't make out to his laptop, while Monika, who also apparently answered to "poetry expert" made her critique.
Monika: It's a good start of something, really!
Monika: But maybe…try sticking with one idea and focusing on it?
Monika: Then again, I do like the idea you were going with in the last few lines.
Monika: A caring heart, found in a "heartless" machine…hm…
"Oh, sure, thanks!" Carter answered immediately, with enthusiasm. "I was, uh, just thinking of Sayori I guess. We probably all were, with our own girls…or, yeah."
The freshman stopped short, biting his tongue on the uncertain wording. Meanwhile, Monika looked lost in thought again, but this time with more curiosity than worry. If she actually got a creative idea from Carter's rough attempt at poetry…well, I'd have to ask about it later.
Conveniently, Luke and Yuri seemed to have decided it was now their turn.
Yuri: Luke and I will present our work now.
Yuri: Though, I should tell everyone it was somewhat less than "impromptu."
Yuri: I'm only trying to be "fair," as Sayori said.
"We built off some concepts we had been exploring together earlier this week," Luke explained. "It's only natural, given Yuri's abilities, but I'm not the one who had us participate this little activity."
He smirked a little, but I kept a flat face. Technically, this wasn't my idea either — I was just following SalvoCore's "research" plan.
Frank stated the unstated. "Yeah, yeah. You're both super smart creative geniuses, we get it. Still doesn't mean we'll like it."
"Perhaps you're not supposed to…" Luke answered darkly.
I took that moment to notice the poem, already shown in a narrow window next to Monika's avatar. This one was complete with a title in bold, and instantly felt different than the previous two amateur offerings.
Abyssal Angel
The sister's sleep is heavy.
The nightwind burrows in her hair
Bathed in the shade of the moon
In the dark house of the father
Purple clouds enwreathed his head
He fell upon his blood and image
Past the shattered mirror
He found a petrified desolation
Fainting, into emptiness
A lunar countenance
Her black wing touches his temple
Silence of the mother
Under black pines
The dreaming eye opens out
Night envelops the accursed genus
I sat there absolutely still, momentarily transfixed by the undeniable power of some of the stanzas. Before that moment, I hadn't deeply considered the idea of Yuri as an art-generating AI, but if this was a sample of what she could do, I might want to start paying more attention.
Before I could reach the end of poem however, I overheard Frank starting to snicker from the other side of the room.
"Mmm, might something be the matter?" Luke asked him, his voice dripping with faux elegance, like he had predicted this reaction.
"Nah, it's nothing. Are you, like, serious about this though?"
"I'm always serious."
"Then you're crazier than I thought. A real piece of work."
"Though, it seems I'm still provoking a reaction in you," Luke retaliated.
Yuri: I don't understand. If you don't appreciate the poem, then—
Natsuki: Maybe he's just laughing because it's a little over the top, even from you.
Natsuki: I mean, some of these word choices, it's like the stock goth-dictionary on overdrive.
Natsuki: And just spamming "symbolic" words or whatever doesn't make your poem any deeper than the last one we read.
She had a point. Despite the superb phrasing of Luke and Yuri's piece, it did appear to lack a specific direction or underlying object. There was still something to be said for the raw haunting imagery of it though.
While I was thinking, Yuri's bassy strings were sounding off, discontentedly dissonant.
Yuri: I should have expected this sort of treatment.
Yuri: We were reaching such a high level of discourse earlier, but I suppose continuing that was too much to ask.
Yuri: If you aren't even trying to engage with the material, then—
Luke cut off his partner's frustrations, "He may be right, in some sense. You said yourself that there was insufficient time to unite the different vignettes into a cohesive whole. The best we could do was put out the basic form and substance and hope the language it would speak for itself. I'll admit there's no hidden object to the more suggestive phrases, but it could still be difficult to approach for the uninitiated."
He stated all of this rapidly and adroitly, like it had been on his mind the entire time we were writing. Yuri's expression instantly broke into effaced self-reproach.
Yuri: Ah, that is…right…what I thought…
Yuri: I'm sorry…again.
Before Frank or Natsuki could press the advantage, Monika stepped in.
Monika: If you're saying it's only an exploratory piece, like a rough draft, it's very well put together.
Monika: Thank you for the excellent contribution, and please feel free to share your completed work here as well.
Monika: We haven't been focusing nearly enough on collaborative writing feedback here, and I know you've been busy.
Monika: And that goes for you too, Luke~
Sayori: Yeah, we didn't expect anything less from the literature club's star performers! Go Luke and Yuri!
At this point, Yuri was only blushing harder instead of responding warmly to the compliments. Still, I think I saw the barest suggestion of a smile underneath those long purple locks.
"I'll agree with Monika, the wording is extremely effective," I said, making my thoughts clear. "It's simple on face value, but the combinations are evocative for what they could be implying. If you're creating more like this, we don't have to wait for the club. You can show me at the bookshop."
"Without any doubt," he answered politely.
Yuri: Sayori, did you have anything to say about the poem itself?
Sayori: Uh, I think it's super depressing, actually.
Sayori: But don't worry, I know that's like, totally your thing!
Yuri: Um…that's one way of reacting to it.
This comment was enough to snap Yuri out of her praise-induced stupor, and she finally went back to a reasonably neutral expression.
"It was, like, wow. I want to say it's cool, but it's…beyond that," Carter told the room without prompting. "I really want to go to the bookstore with you guys now, but I promised Sayori we'd go to one of the sponsored events on campus this weekend. She says I need to, uh, put myself out there more."
"Feel free," Luke replied to the freshman dismissively. "Now, Michael, I believe now would be an excellent time for your poem.
"Right, sure. Just don't make too much of it. I know we've all been saying that, but this is sort of a rough draft too. Whatever you think though, I want to know."
I addressed this directly to Luke, feeling myself starting to sincerely admire his sophisticated, if clunky mannerisms — when and if he could keep it up. Even him using my full first name didn't sting too hard, for once.
Natsuki: You're all being so self-conscious, it's starting to get annoying…
Natsuki: Monika already said we didn't need to take this seriously, so get on with it!
Sayori: Are you in a hurry, Natsuki?
Natsuki: Maybe…
Sayori: For that anime preview you were telling Carter and I about…?
Natsuki: N-no…
Natsuki: At least not that one
Ignoring this exchange, Monika sent out our poem after a nod from me. Reflexively, I realized how strange it was to be communicating by body language with a static sprite, but after weeks in the literature club, it had become normal to treat my laptop camera exactly like the eye of another person.
The piece was already up in one of my laptop's windows, but I brought it to the front anyway to review with everyone else.
New End
See, the direction the spackle now protrudes?
The hole widening into a gate?
I walk through the horizon, stretching forever into everything
I'm looking out
And he, on the other side, will look in
The vista expands and the questions resolve
With the courage, endowed by my one and only love
I have dismantled a crumbling world
And built anew, with the flick of a pen
an endless
symphony
of beautiful
meaning
Every answer, every purpose
All that was ever sought
It all swirls around me, in the eddying vortex
And here I am, the tower
It was always me, will forever be me
The fountainhead of infinite choices
We seek only the impossible
And we will find it
"Interesting, interesting," Luke muttered. "I think you said you're trying to be intentionally vague, but you're wrong. There is a subject here, but I can't make out what the experience could possibly be."
I responded carefully, "You're on the right track. It is based on a specific set of experiences."
"One of Monika's? I can tell she was leading the writing. If so, then color me…invested."
"Right again. We were trying to see what happened if we formed a new perspective on the experience. As for what happened…it's a long story, but definitely something…interesting. Maybe you can ask her about it later?"
Or not, I thought, once Monika flashed me an anxious frown. Unfortunate. I was hoping to eventually get someone else's perspective on the club's secret history, but I would never go against Monika's wishes. And maybe Don was right in that old message he sent me — it would just make my job more complicated, if it didn't outright ruin SalvoCore's plan for the club.
"At least it's not as edgy as Luke's," Frank opined. "Like, I can almost enjoy reading it, but it's still too…uh…Nat, can you give me a good word here?"
Natsuki: Highfalutin? Grandiose?
"Yeah, sounds right," he accepted. "Too puffed-up for its own good, you know what I mean?"
"Maybe. I was trying to hit some hopeful notes, and I might have come off as too optimistic. That angle was all on my end, and maybe I went over the top."
Monika: I did try to tell MC he was being a tad…ambitious.
"Well, Monika and I are an ambitious couple…team," I corrected. As expected, Monika blushed — my turn to earn a cute expression.
Sayori: It's not too ambitious. It actually makes me feel really good!
Sayori: You're writing's really nice, Monika. Usually, I don't get your poems at all.
"Are you sure, Sayori?" Carter told his paired AI. "I still think Luke and Yuri's was cooler. But not better — different? It's hard to say which one's better…"
The freshman poured over the text on his screen again, as if searching for some hidden distinction he had missed.
Monika: It's not supposed to be better, or worse.
Monika: I mainly wrote this for myself, for my own meaning…with MC's help, of course.
Monika: But if you can get some inspiration from it too, that's great!
"Indeed, I'm certainly inspired by it," Luke called on his way out the door. "But look at the time — I'll be seeing you tomorrow."
"Bye," I started to say. Then I realized Frank had slipped out the door when I wasn't looking, and Carter was packing up as well.
Sayori: Aw, so we're really not voting? I wanted to vote on your poem, Monika!
Sayori: Unless that would be betraying Carter…hey!
Sayori's avatar let out a silent yelp of surprise as Carter unceremoniously shut his laptop screen.
"We'll talk later, Sayori. But yeah, I decided your poem was the best," he told me before saying goodbye.
Monika: It's not a contest, all of you!
Finding she was addressing a now-empty room, Monika let down her "business smile" and sent her emerald gaze toward me.
Monika: Sigh…
Monika: I don't know if they really get it — My vision for the club.
"I know. There's still too much pointless disagreement and back and forth arguing. We're not getting along at all," I stressed.
Monika: Oh, don't worry about that. Especially Yuri and Natsuki, it's all surface level.
Monika: You'd know if they were really fighting.
"Aha. So it's mostly the guys?"
Monika: Maybe. I wish they'd relax a little more, and treat the club more a like a safe, supportive space to share their creative sides.
Monika: Instead…it's almost like they're making it a battleground, clashing over everything.
"Well, that's what guys end up doing. Competing. It's more or less the default mode of male interaction," I joked. "But you don't worry either. All that jousting is superficial too."
Monika: Ahahaha
Monika: In that case, I'll just worry about myself.
Monika: I thought the club would become routine at this point, something to lean back on and look forward to
Monika: But there's still some things I'm trying to figure out…and some things on my mind.
She paused, waiting for me, and I offered, "It's not about the game, is it? I'm sorry that it came up so much today. Rewriting your old poems like that wasn't a good idea at this point, was it?"
Monika: Please don't blame yourself for it. I enjoyed writing that poem with you.
Monika: Watching you turn around my past words, giving them hope — that was really nice.
Monika: That's on top of how you really stepped in to lead the discussion today — one more thing off my mind.
I opened my mouth to say something appreciative in return, but Monika cut me off with one last piano chord.
Monika: Anyway, there's some important things I want to work on today too, so I'll be out for the rest of today.
Monika: Call me if you need help with an assignment…or if you found some nice music for us to listen to.
Monika: Goodbye, love~3
The DOKI window closed without further notice, and I was caught staring into my cluttered desktop. Monika's signature closing heart seemed to hang in the empty space in front of me.
Love. I echoed the word in my mind. I felt I had run the club well today, was still too focused on the job-like aspects to give any attention to love — the love Monika needed and deserved. But if she said the meeting had gone well, and had signed off like that…well, maybe there were still things I needed to think about too.
Author's Notes:
For those of you coming back after reading the first set of chapters I posted in March, hooray! The story not dead, and my introduction has been modified to reflect this. Expect a new chapter every month or so — my determination to finish this story and realize my original vision is running high.
As for this chapter, I should mention Luke and Yuri's poem is a paraphrased collage of fragments I collected from a 20th-century German Poet, Georg Trakl. He is best known for lyrically documenting the horrors and atrocities of the first world war. Overkill? Yes. But even in translation, his words have an unusual staying power that I haven't seen in too many other places.
MC and Monika's poem is another mishmash, using phrases you should all recognize from her original set of DDLC poems. The other two are purely of my own creation, both written during a lunch break at work in less than half an hour, just so you can all get the full experience of bad amateur poetry.
Also, blast the bare-bones editor for not letting me insert multiple blank lines to divide up the poem interludes, and for eating Monika's special heart characters (resorting to 3. Use your imagination).