Hey guys! Just a quick note about something.

Someone wrote a review and said that the chapter didn't even reflect on Santana's insecurity. That person was a guest so I could not respond so I would like to do it now. The chapter was long, longer than usual, so I thought that introducing what I planned next would make it too long. The dream introduces this chapter and what will happen next.

That person also said that the angst was not even real. Yes, it is. In my mind, what you see in your dreams are the things you are the most sacred of. Santana seeing her hurting Quinn, the blonde being sad, losing her, and falling again for Brittany are fears that she has is in this story. So, in this chapter, you will see that this dream was introducing this.

I hope you will like this chapter,

Love

¤Santana¤

It has now been 10 minutes since I was woken up by this horrible dream and I am watching the ceiling since then.

You don't have to be a shrink to know that there is a message behind this dream. First of all, seeing that I hurt Quinn and seeing her suffer, worst thing ever. Then losing her, the second worst thing in the world. And finally, falling back into the clutches of Brittany, the third worst thing in the world.

It may sound like I'm exaggerating, but honestly the relationship I had with Brittany destroyed me. She was manipulating me, and she was using me. She probably cheated on me more times than I can count and each time I fell back into a pattern. If you look at the definition of narcissistic pervert in a dictionary, you will probably find the photo of my ex.

Just for fun and because I'm a kid I grab my phone from my bedside table and look at the definition. "A narcissistic pervert is a person who could be described as sadistic, manipulative and predatory. Essentially, they have a need to destroy." Yep. That's her. Some things happened when I was with her that I wouldn't like to remember and that I didn't tell anyone. But seeing myself in my dream fall back into Brittany's arms leaves me with an extremely unpleasant feeling. Just thinking about it brings shivers down my spine and not in a good way.

As for Quinn, seeing her suffer in my dream, or more like nightmare, is probably the most horrible thing ever. Knowing that I made her suffer makes me gagged.

It's just that since I met her, I feel like I'm finally complete. Gosh. It's the cheesiest thing I've ever said but it's the truth. Before, even when I was happy with my ex, I always felt like something was missing, that a part of me was missing. And since Quinn has been in my life, I finally feel like I'm finally complete. Maybe that's what we call soulmate.

In a few seconds I was under her spell. In a few minutes she had already made a place for her in my heart. And in a few days, she took a huge place in my life.

I think that if she were to get out of my life, she would leave an irreplaceable void. When I think of her, I have the biggest smile that comes automatically. She is so innocent, kind, and gullible, believing that everyone is good that I want to protect her from everything so that she never loses that.

She's just perfect. And the thought of hurting her is unbearable to me. Now that I've confessed my feelings to her and she told me she felt the same, I don't want to ruin everything. I tend to scare people away because sometimes I am too honest and it displeases people, or too aggressive or even too teasing. I really want this to work between us. I feel like she's the first to really see me for who I am and to accept me without conditions. With her I feel free, I feel that I can be myself without hiding and it's so nice.

This nightmare leaves me with a very big bad feeling in my heart. I was already extremely anxious and excited to see Quinn again, but even more so. But I'm even more stressed though.

But I must not let myself be carried away by these bad thoughts. I need to entertain myself until my date and everything will be fine. So, I get up and decide to go have my first coffee. While drinking my first cup, I scroll on Instagram. And then, I see an account on Brittany and I, with a video of us and description that the person wants too much to see us together because we were the best couple. I have nothing against this people, it comes from a good intention. But they don't know the truth. Fortunately, in my 'fans' most of them hate Brittany. Most didn't like her from the start, but it's been worst since they know she cheated on me.

I put on netflix and start the first series I see but my mind is completely elsewhere. I wander thinking of the pretty blonde I would see tonight. I'm starting to imagine lots of different scenarios but all of them seem perfect as I'm going to be spending the evening with the best part of myself.

Best part of myself.

I smile and get ready to pick up my phone to jot down the idea for a song I just had. However, I stop in the middle of my movement. My smile widens and I get up to go get something else. I go back to my room and take the notebook Quinn gave me and which is on my bedside table. I then take a pen and start writing all my ideas on a new page.

You'll always be my number one

A whole lot more than good enough

I'm giving everything I've got to gain every second lost

With you, I'm happy being me

Don't pretend, 'cause I don't need to

Well, I guess we never saw this coming

But I just want you to know

That I'd have all I need

If you were standing right in front of me

I'll finally see what it means to be complete

Don't need to spend our lives chasing gold

Anywhere with you, I'll call my home

Oh, I'd have all I need

If you'd be the better half of me

Of course, this is only the beginning of an idea. The song is not over but it represents exactly how I feel. The fact that Quinn is the better half of me, that unexpectedly, she has become my home, and that with her I feel complete.

I look at the notebook and have a small smile. I laugh, shaking my head and finally letting myself fall back onto my floor.

I don't even know what to say anymore. Since I met her, I really feel happy. I don't have to pretend anymore. My God. How is it possible that I miss her so much? We just saw each other. I am pathetic and I didn't think it was possible to want, no, to need to see and to be close to someone that much. I just feel this pull toward her you know. Like my heart needs to be with her.

I can not resist, and I take my phone to send her a message.

Hey. I know I'm seeing you tonight, but I just wanted to send you this message to tell you have a good day and can't wait to see you tonight. S

I look at my phone for a few seconds to see if she answers me and when I don't see a response, I decide to do something with my day so that the time goes faster. I get up from my floor and walk in the direction of my kitchen. I open my fridge and take the first thing that comes in my hand to eat it. I'm hungry but I'm too lazy to cook. To be honest, I never cook. It's not that I suck, it's just that I only know one recipe (my mom's enchiladas), and that I find it depressing to cook on my own and I never cook for anyone, so I don't need to tell you that my kitchen doesn't serve me often.

I wonder if Quinn knows how to cook well. Oh my God. Have I really become that kind of person who thinks about the person she loves about absolutely everything? Yuck. I disgust myself. But seriously. Does Quinn know how to cook? And how does she do it too? Here are two new questions to put in my notebook. I laugh.

Throughout the day I manage to occupy my mind until I see that it is time to prepare myself. I skipped to my room where I have already prepared my things. What? I said that I had found things to do, I did not say that the things that I did have nothing to do with my date.

I take shower, put on make-up, put on my perfume and my jewelry and then I start to dress. I also prepared Quinn's present which is next to my bag in the hallway. And for the first time in my life I think, I have finished preparing myself and I am early. Yes, you can say that I am a little stressed and that I want to make a good impression by arriving on time and so what. I take my phone and take a picture of me in the mirror and then I wait a bit on my bed when I get a message from Kurt.

Hope you are ready for your date otherwise you will be late.

It might surprise you, but I'm ready.

You're lying.

Absolutely not.

My god I don't know this Quinn, but I already love her.

Hands off, she is mine.

Not yet. But seriously, good luck.

Thanks.

When I send the message, I receive another telling me that my driver is in front of my building. I then take all my things and go downstairs. Once in the car, I look at my phone and reread the message Quinn sent me.

I'm also excited. I may miss your bad jokes a bit. (;

I chuckle as I reread this message. And without realizing it, we are already in front of her building. My hands are starting to get clammy, and my heart is racing a bit. I get out of the car and take the elevator and in no time I'm at her door. I take a few deep breaths before knocking. I then wait a few seconds before the door opens on the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

"Wow" I sigh.

I can't take my eyes off Quinn and without doing it on purpose I check her out completely. She wears a gorgeous black dress that accentuates and embraces her curves to the perfection. She seriously took my breath away and I feel my heart going faster.

I gradually lift my gaze before resting my eyes on her face. She is wearing light makeup as usual, but her hair is styled in a different way and she has put on some gloss making her lips so attractive.

"You are ... stunning."

I see her cheeks turning red very quickly. She lowers her head a little timidly. She is so cute.

"Thanks. I'm sure you are gorgeous too." She smiles at me.

My gaze is drawn to the side by Romeo who flutters his tail, happy to see me. "Are you ready?" I asked her.

"Yes, I just have to go get my bag in my bedroom. You come in while you wait." She turns and leaves in the direction of what must be her bedroom.

I bend down slightly and pat Romeo while trying to keep him from licking me. When Quinn returns, I see her take her cane and a bone from a table and come back to me. While she gives the bone to her dog and she says goodbye to him, I take this opportunity to look at her a little more. She is really beautiful.

She then gets up and tells me that we can go. Once she has closed her door, I take her arm and we walk towards the elevator.

"How come you are on time?" She teased me.

"Yeah, that's it. Make fun of me," I laughed, and my smile widened even more when I heard her giggling. "Let's say that for once I had a reason to be on time." I flirted.

I see her blush again a little bit for my greatest pleasure. We leave her building and arrive in front of the car. The driver comes to open the door for us, and I help her get on first. "Thanks John." I tell him before entering myself.

Once inside, Quinn leans in and whispers to me. "You have a driver ?!" I laugh softly.

"Yes, but I still prefer to drive myself."

John starts the car when Quinn asks me shyly: "Do you think you could describe to me how you are dressed?"

My smile grows bigger so much that my cheeks start to ache, and I move even closer to the pretty blonde who is sitting in the middle seat.

I take her hand and after the small electric shock I received, I begin to describe to her, whispering in her ear. I see her blushing a little more (it really has become my favorite activity) with a small smile.

Once I'm done, she turns her head in my direction, puts her hand on my cheek and gives me a little kiss on the other. "I'm sure you must be magnificent." Okay, now it's definitely me blushing. To my regret she withdraws her hand after a few seconds. Both of my cheeks are tingling where they were touched by her hand and lips.

After a few minutes in pleasant silence, we arrive behind the restaurant. Again, I help Quinn out of the car and guide her to the back door. The manager of the restaurant is waiting for us there.

"Good evening Miss Cruz. Welcome. I'll take you to your usual table."

Quinn then looks in my direction with frowns of incomprehension and I whisper in her ear that I will explain it to her afterwards. We then follow the manager of the restaurant and even if Quinn holds my right arm, she still uses her cane. Once in front of the table, a waiter comes in addition to move our chairs back and help us to sit down.

I also frown when I see my pretty blonde jump in surprise when she feels someone else's touch on her back. I then glance at the waiter to make him understand that it was not the right thing to do. "Excuse me." He said.

"It is not important, do not worry. I'm just not used to it." Quinn said.

The waiter then asks us what we want to drink. "Quinn, what do you want?"

She looks in my direction. "I'm not sure. What can I take?"

"I think they have pretty much everything and don't worry about the price, I'll take care of it." I whisper to her.

She seems to hesitate for a few seconds before answering me. "Can you choose for me? I'm not used to ordering at restaurants."

I nod and then look at the waiter and ask him for a very, very good bottle of red wine and he leaves.

I turn to Quinn who then asks me again if I can describe the place. I'm starting to understand that she likes to imagine her surroundings. "So, we're in my favorite restaurant but we're not in the main room because I don't want people to know I'm there. We're in a little more private room." I then describe the place to her, and at the same time I look at her who is fumbling the table to see the shape of the plates, glasses, the decoration on the table etc.

"It seems to be very pretty. And why Cruz?"

I laughed a little. "Again, it's a matter of discretion. They know full well who I am, but Rosario Cruz is kind of a codename that I use for just about anything where I don't want to be recognized. "

"Oh, I see. It is like me, before I thought if I had to publish my book, I would use a pen name: Emily Stark." She said happily, laughing.

"Emily Stark and Rosario Cruz ... wanky." I smirked.

"Wanky?"

"Yes, it's kind of my word for sexy or things like that." She giggled a little.

Then the waiter comes back with the bottle and serves us both. I take my drink and hold it out in Quinn's direction. "To our first date, hoping there will be plenty more."

I then see a very, very big smile appearing on her face. "I hope too."

We toast and drink a little before putting our glasses down. "Hmmm. It is very good. I do not drink very often but I like that."

"I'm glad."

"So, I wanted to- wait. Is there a fireplace here?"

I look at her in surprise. "Yes, they made a fire in the fireplace a few feet from our table. Why? You don't like it? I can ask them for another table if you want. Wait, I'll call the-." Quinn cuts me off, putting her hand on my forearm.

"No! On the contrary! I like it very much."

"Really?"

"Yes. For me, the fire is extremely comforting. I love the heat that emanates from it and the flames that move create shades of luminosity for me. I love to sit in front of a fire with my eyes closed. It makes me feel normal. " I smiled, moved by this information.

"Do you have a fireplace at your flat?"

"Yes, but I do not do it often because it scares me a little start to start a fire on my own in my appartement. If anything happens, I can not do a thing."

I then look at her hand which has not moved from my arm and take it in mine. "I have a fireplace too. If you want one day you could come over to my place and I will make you a fire."

Her smile widened. "I would love that very much." She said to me, squeezing my hand a little more. By feeling the little chills caused by her hand in mine, I notice that my stress has given way to total contentment.

"By the way, I have a present for you." I said, taking the small bag out of my purse.

"What? No, Santana you should not. I told you it wasn't necessary."

"But I wanted to." I took her hand and placed it on the bag.

I watch her open the gift and it is true that at this moment I am stressing a little. I really hope she will like it. She opens the small box in which the jewelry is. She takes it and fiddles with it for a few seconds before smiling. "I know you're a Christian and I walked past a little store and saw this bracelet and thought it was for you. It's a silver bracelet with an Italian cross. The seller told me that the way of knotting the metal signifies love and purity or something like that. And it's simple but distinguished like you. Not that I think you're simple! I just-"

"I like it." Quinn beams.

"Really?" She continues to touch it to identify everything and memorize the bracelet.

"Yes. I love it even. Thank you so much. It is simple but it is everything I like. And it is so nice of you. So, thank you." Quinn said with a really big smile making me blush.

"I'm glad you like it."

"Would you mind putting it on me?"

"Not at all. Give it to me."

Quinn hands it to me and after taking it I grab her wrist and start putting it around. I let my fingers slide for a few seconds on her wrist and I see small chills come to her arm.

The growing tension between us is however interrupted when the waiter arrives with the menus. He hands me the first and hands the second to Quinn who, not seeing him, does not react. "We're not going to need this one thanks." He looks embarrassed and walks off with an apology.

"Um can you-"

"Yes, I'll read it to you. Wait a second, I'll just get a little closer to you if you don't mind."

Quinn chuckles a little as I get closer. "It is okay. You do not smell too bad so I will be able to take it."

Not being at all ready for this answer, I laughed out loud. "Wow. Thank you." Quinn giggled.

"So, starter, main course, dessert?"

"But I will never be able to eat all of this." Quinn cried out laughing.

"Oh come on. I believe in you. And if my mom saw you, she'd say you're skinny and you need to eat more. So, we're going to have all three courses. Since it's decided, now we need to choose what we will take. Personally, I already have my little idea, but we will first see for you."

I start reading all the dishes to her while making little jokes on it or giving her my opinion and we spend our time laughing. Some people might think it's tiring to spell out all the menu, but for me, I love doing this for Quinn. I would like to do all these little things for her. All the little things that people never did but that she so deserves.

We are in the middle of the meal and everything is going wonderfully. This is the best date I have ever had.

"It really is the best thing I have ever eat in my entire life." Quinn said continuing to eat.

"I'm glad you like it. If you like this place, we can come back if you want." I said, trying to test the waters.

Quinn looked up and smiled at me. "I would love that. This place is heartwarming. Since I cannot see what is going on around me, I attach great importance to the atmosphere. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, I do not feel good. But here I love it."

"Speaking of feeling comfortable. Last night I had a nightmare and I'd like to talk to you about it if you don't mind."

"Sure. You can tell me anything." Said the pretty blonde with a comforting voice.

"My last relationship was very complicated. We had a very nasty break up with all the media involved and everything. She cheated on me with probably the whole planet and I later found out that she was using me whether it was for my money, my fame or my business connections."

"Oh. Santana, I swear I do not use for your-" Began Quinn alarmed.

"Of course not! I know!" I cut her, taking her hand. "I'm not telling you that because of you don't worry. Well, it does has something to do with you but not in that way."

She then squeezed my hand, motioning for me to continue.

"The point is that when we broke up, I wasn't the same anymore. This relationship totally destroyed me and since then I'm afraid to commit. And in my nightmare, I dreamed that I was hurting you by not coming on our date and falling back into Brittany's arms. But when I woke up, I had the worst feeling in my heart. What I'm trying to say is that since my ex, I didn't want to commit in a relationship anymore. Until I met you. My perception of things has totally changed with you. Since knowing you, I'm so much happier. I'm excited to see you, a big stupid smile appears on my face when I see that you sent me a message and above all, I managed to write songs again with you in my head. So, what I mean is if you want to, later I would like let things go further between us. And I promise you that I will take care of you and that I will never make you suffer because I care too much about you and you deserve the best. So, what do you say?"

I end my monologue by looking intently at Quinn who now has tears in her eyes. "What you just told me is all I have dreamed of since I was a baby. Obviously, I want things to go further between us. We will go at our own pace and I also promise to do whatever I can to make you happy."

Also having tears in my eyes, I also laugh a little and lean down to kiss Quinn's cheek longer than a friend would do, squeezing her hand tightly.

"Enough of this crappy romance and let's talk about something else." I said which made my pretty blonde laugh very hard.

The dinner ends up perfectly and sooner than I would like, Quinn and I are back in the car towards her apartment.

We do not let go of our hands, but we do not say anything, just happy to enjoy the presence of the other. I help Quinn up to her apartment and on her doorstep, I put my hands on her waist and gently pull her closer to me to give her a hug.

Quinn puts her arms around my neck, and I bury my head in her neck, feeling that perfume so peculiar but so incredible that only Quinn has.

We stay like this for a few minutes before Quinn gives me a long kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you very much for this evening which is without a doubt the best of my life Tana."

"It's probably mines too. I can't wait to see you again. I'll call you tomorrow babygirl." I kissed her cheek too.

"Hold on. I was wondering if we could take a picture of the two of us. I want to remember that moment."

Quinn gave me a big smile. "If you want."

She moved closer to me and I put my arm around her waist to press her against me. I then pulled out my phone and put it in front of us and Quinn gave me a kiss on the cheek a second before I took the picture.

I didn't have time to look at the photo before she told me.

"Can you send it to me? I know I will never see it but I like the idea of having a picture of the two of us on my phone."

I felt a little red rise in my cheeks. "Sure. I'll even send you hundreds of pictures of me if you want."

She laughed then. "I would love that. Good night Tana." She said smiling.

"Good night Q." She let go of my hand as she stepped back and walked into her apartment. Once the door closed, I let out a little cry of joy, waving my arms around and jumping a few times.

"Best day of my life for sure."

I then looked at the photo that was on my phone. What I saw there surprised me greatly. In the photo we can see Quinn with a cute little smile, giving me a little kiss on the cheek but what surprises me the most is my face. I see the biggest smile on my face that I have ever seen. I don't think anyone ever saw me smile like I do in this photo.

When I look at my face, I see someone who looks definitely happy. And that's what I am. Happy.

My life has changed drastically since I met this pretty blonde. Knowing in addition that she also wants to go further. It gives me a goal or rather something that makes me move forward. Before, I had my music, but I needed something more in my love life. The prospect of being in a relationship with Quinn is what currently boosts me and makes me love what I am going through. It is my sentimental life that feeds my professional life. And it's Quinn who makes me step forward.

When I was with Brittany, I felt like I walked forward without knowing where I was going and I was scared. With Quinn, I still don't know where I'm going but it doesn't matter because I'm going with her. The journey I will make, I want to do it with her. I want her to be part of my life and me to be part of hers.

Quinn, know that I will do everything in my power to make you as happy as you make me happy.

Hi guys! This is it for today!

I hope you liked it and leave a comment, it's always a pleasure to read what you think!

I will see you the next time and during this time take care of yourself!

(The few lyrics of the song was "Better half of me" by Tom walker)