AUTHORS NOTE:
Okay, so originally this was supposed to only be one chapter but at some point it got so long that I had to make it into two. I promise to post the second half of it shortly! Enjoy for now and please let me know what you think!
Four days.
96 hours.
5,760 minutes.
345,600 seconds.
1,000,000,000 thoughts.
Before Henry can continue calculating just how long it's been since the last time he talked to Claire, the soccer ball whizzes by his head, narrowly missing his blonde shags.
"Come on LaMontagne! Use your head for the ball and get it out of the clouds! What's your problem this week?" his coach yells from the sideline and Henry turns to see the opposing team's player kick a goal passed his team goalie.
The whistle blows and for the first time in his life, Henry is grateful a game is over. It was his second game this week and right now, soccer was the last thing on his mind.
It had been a rough couple of days to say the least.
He had been able to convince his Mom to let him go meet up with Claire that night after dinner but ever since doing so, he had regretted it. Claire's words on the phone had him worried but they were nothing compared to the words she said when he finally did meet her at the park by her house later that night.
"I think I'm pregnant," she said in a very monotone way that did nothing to tell Henry what she was really feeling. It was almost like she had practiced saying the words over and over again and she had heard them so many times herself that they were void of all meaning.
Henry hadn't known exactly what to say. What to do. Should he hug her? Should he tell her everything was going to be okay? He wanted to do both, but by the way she was standing, several feet away from him, leaning up against the tree with her arms crossed over her chest, he didn't feel welcome anywhere near her in that moment.
"We were careful," were the words he eventually uttered out despite knowing that they weren't the right words.
"Condoms break Henry!" Claire had exclaimed, so loudly that Henry actually looked around to see if anyone else around heard them, only to find that they were completely and utterly alone.
Alone.
How he felt when she said those words to him.
Alone.
How he felt when she told him that she just couldn't handle this right now and thought they needed some time apart while she figured things out.
Alone.
How he had felt every single waking moment since she had turned and walked away from him that night.
Feeling alone was a strange feeling for Henry. All his life, he had never really been alone. He had three moms who were always around. They came to every single soccer game, sat at the table with him to help him with homework and fed him upon request. A dad who took him out for ice cream just because he knew it was Henry's favorite, who would sit next to him on the couch and watch all his favorite movies and television shows just to be near him. A godmother and godfather who randomly would pop in at least once a week to take him to dinner. Three uncles who would randomly text him to check in on how he had played in the game the day before.
He had never felt alone before.
And now that he had, it was terrifying.
He's in a daze as he makes his way off the field and gathers his stuff, heading to the locker room to shower and change without even making eye contact with his Mom who he knows had watched him just play one of the worst games of his life.
He's still in a trance as he makes his way out to his Jeep parked in the school parking lot, forty-five minutes later. He opens the door, tossing his bag into the back seat and slides into the front.
His hands cover his face and he takes a deep breath. He feels the tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes but the sound of the passenger side door opening stops them instantly. He sits up quickly, glancing next to him.
"That bad huh?" JJ asks as she situates herself in the front seat of her son's car.
Twenty-four hours after taking the prescription Ashley had called in and she was feeling so much better. Thankfully, Emily never caught her dreaded flu, but she had gotten called in by Hotch to help him with an evaluation for the day. Leaving JJ to go to Henry's game alone. She didn't mind. She had missed the first one that week as she was still feeling slightly sick at the time.
She had seen the game today however. She knew he had been having an off week and Emily had mentioned to her that he just didn't seem like himself, but she didn't realize just how off he was until she watched him in the game today.
"I don't want to talk about it," he says trying not to sound angry but knowing that he failed. He's not angry at her, he's angry at himself. He's scared and sad and more than anything he wants to just wrap his arms around her and make her tell him it's all going to work out and it's all going to be okay.
"We don't have to," JJ replies slumping down a little in the seat next to him to get comfortable. She fidgets with her nails making sure to not pressure him into talking to her by not making eye contact. She knew that if she acted disinterested long enough, he might eventually cave and tell her what was wrong.
"Did you see it?" he asks.
"The game? Yeah."
"Coach is pissed. Probably going to lose my roster slot."
"Coach will get over it," JJ replies. "He knows you are the best one out there. Everyone has off games Henry. No one is perfect."
It's those words that cause the tears to form again in his eyes and this time, he can't hide them. He knows she's seen them and that he is going to have to explain them.
"Mom…" he starts but that's the only word that falls out before the tears take over.
Thankfully, JJ moves quickly. She leans over toward him, wrapping her arms around him as he falls into her embrace. The tears flow and the sobs break her heart but she pushes her own tears back wanting to stay strong for her little boy that is hurting so badly right now.
"Tell me what happened Henry," JJ whispers as she brushes the sweaty locks of blonde hair off of his face as his sobs dissipate.
"Claire and I… we … we broke up," he says as more tears start to fall and the sobs slowly make their way back up from the depths of his throat.
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry," JJ says holding him tightly to her once more.
She had been worried about this from the start. Henry had always been sensitive. Sensitive and kind and loving. Sometimes to a fault. She knew he was bound to get his heart broken and this is exactly what she had been worried about when he had started dating Claire.
It wasn't Claire individually that she had been worried about. She would have worried no matter who it was he had started dating. But her worst fears had come to pass and now she had to find a way to help her little boy feel better.
"I'm sorry Mom," Henry sniffles, holding JJ even more tightly than he had been before.
"For what bud?"
"This is all my fault."
"The breakup is your fault?" JJ asks trying to still get bits and pieces of information from him without pushing him too quickly and making him clam up. He nods and more tears fall. "Tell me what happened."
"I can't… I promised her I wouldn't," Henry says pulling back from her so he can look at her in the eyes. All he sees is love and understanding behind them and suddenly he starts to question the promise he had made to Claire that night before she had turned to leave.
"Don't say anything to anyone," Claire had told him after he had been silent for several minutes after hearing that she needed some space from him. "I'm not ready to talk to anyone about it and I am still not sure what I want to do."
"I won't," Henry said, his voice sounding foreign to him even though it was his own. "I promise."
"Baby, you can tell me and I promise Claire will never know you did," JJ assures him, though Henry knows that as soon as he says the words that there is no way she is ever going to be able to keep that promise.
He stares at her for a long few minutes. His eyes fill with tears and several fall down his cheeks and his breathing gets heavy the longer is sits and looks at her.
"You're going to be mad."
"Henry, no matter what you say to me right now, I will not be mad," JJ replies. However, she's not even sure that's true, she just wants to get to the bottom of the problem so she can start to help.
"Claire… she… she…" Henry stumbles over the words.
"She what? She cheated on you? She caught you cheating on her?" JJ tries the fill in the blanks when his words don't come out fast enough for her. All her interrogation training goes out the window in that moment but she reels it in, calming her breathing and hoping it will help him calm his so he can finish what he's trying to say.
"Pregnant."
The word floats in the air for a moment or two.
It remains there in the car, between them and the silence that is lingering.
"How far along?" JJ finally manages to get out, her voice sounding as calm as she had been able to make it but the slight shake at the end of the question noticeable to both of them.
"She didn't say."
"Alright, well that's something we need to find out right away," JJ says in that same calm and collected manner. "Has she told her mom?"
"I don't think so," Henry says, his heartbeat starting to pick up at the calmness in his Mom's voice. He wasn't expecting it and he's not sure how to react to her lack of anger.
Every time he had thought about telling her, all he could envision was her yelling at him. He had thought of every scenario. First he had considered talking to his dad of course. But he knew that the second he did that his dad would just call his three moms and the anger would come from all of them at once. He considered going to Reid for help but quickly realized that there was no way this was something his godfather would keep from his best friend forever, resulting in even more anger from JJ when she got mad at both of them for keeping it from her. His godmother, Penelope was an option for a split second, before he remembered she couldn't keep a secret if her life depended on it. Morgan, Hotch and Rossi were all so off the table because he knew they would be able to convince him to talk to his moms and then he'd had to deal with the anger at him and at him for not coming to them first. Either way, he knew there was going to be anger. He hadn't planned on anything else.
"What do you know?"
"Not much. She told me she thought she was pregnant and then she said that she and I should spend some time apart for a little bit while she gets her thoughts together. She said she didn't know what she was going to do and that she didn't want anyone to know," Henry explains, feeling like he's been able to get the gist of the story out without having to be too specific.
Another lingering moment occurs. Finally, JJ reaches into her pocket and digs out her cell phone, handing it to the boy next to her.
"Call her," she says softly, holding it out for him to take. He just looks at it.
"She won't answer. She's been ignoring all my calls and texts since she told me," Henry tries to explain but the tears start to form again and he can't help as they fall from his eyes down his cheeks.
It takes everything in her power but JJ reaches out and brushes them away.
"Use my phone. She won't know the number and will answer, trust me. I was a teenage girl once believe it or not."
"What do I say?"
"Ask her if you can pick her up and talk to her. Tell her the truth Henry. Tell her you told me and that we want to help her. But I can't do that if she won't let us."
"What if she says no?"
"Then we will come up with another plan," JJ says casually as if this is most normal situation she could ever find herself in. She's not sure how she's able to be so calm, but right now she's managing.
Henry takes another long glance at his Mom sitting next to him. He still sees that love and adoration in her eyes, the one thing he was so afraid of losing the moment he told her the truth. Grateful, he agrees and reaches out to take her phone, dialing Claire's number and putting it to his ear.
"Claire?" A pause. "It's Henry." Another pause. "I know you don't want to talk to me right now but I told my Mom about what's going on." JJ can hear her voice louder now on the other end of the receiver but she can't quite make out what the young girl is saying. "I know I said I wouldn't and I'm sorry, but I'm scared and my Mom's, they can, they can help." There is a long silence between both of them then before JJ hears a more monotone sound of Claire's voice coming from the phone. "My Mom said she wants to help us. She wants to know if I can pick you up and you can come over so we can talk about it together." A long pause. Much longer than the others. Finally a quiet word. "Really?" Henry seems surprised but relieved. "Great, I'll be there in like fifteen minutes," Henry finishes.
He ends the call and hands the phone back to JJ.
"What did she say?"
"She seemed pretty mad at first, but she said she would come."
"Alright, so I'm going to go and you are going to pick her up. I'm going to call Mom on the way home and tell her what is going on so we don't bombard her when Claire arrives. I'm going to have to call Dad and Mom too," JJ explains.
"Dad is out of town," Henry replies, looking away from his Mom for the first time in a long time during the conversation, feeling embarrassed and honestly even more worried now that he was going to see Claire for the first time in several days.
"I know, and I won't call him right away but this is something we have to include him on," JJ says, opening her car door and sliding out of the seat. She stops before fully exiting and leans back in, pulling the young boy into another long embrace.
He welcomes it, wrapping his arms around her tightly, holding her as if his life depends on it.
"I'm scared," he admits quietly. So quietly that if his face hadn't been so close to her ear, JJ might have never even heard him.
"I know," she replies, letting him go and forcing a smile. "Go pick her up and come straight home, you understand?"
"Yes."
"Good. See you soon then."
With that, she shuts the door and makes her way back to her own on the other side of the parking lot. As soon as she sees Henry's car back up out of his parking space and turn out of the lot, her own tears come tumbling down.
She manages to get into her own car and hits the button to dial the one and only person she wants to hear the voice of right now.
"Hey babe, how was the game?" Emily's voice rings out over the speaker of the car. JJ is still trying to calm her tears and when she doesn't answer immediately her wife continues. "That good huh?"
"Em."
It's only one syllable. The only thing the blonde can manage to get out of her mouth at the moment, but it's enough for Emily to know something is wrong.
"What happened? Are you okay? Is Henry okay?" the questions tumble out of the brunette's mouth and she follows up before JJ can even answer. If JJ were paying more attention, she would be able to hear Emily unlocking the gun safe to grab her weapon and badge. "Where are you, I'm coming for you."
"No, don't," JJ manages to squeak out. Her tears are flowing slowly now, dripping out of her eyes down her cheeks but she carefully starts to make her way out of the parking lot of the school and toward her home. "Both of us are okay. I'm on my way. Henry won't be far behind."
"You aren't okay."
It's not a question. It's a statement.
"I talked to Henry. This is bad Em. Really bad. And I'm pretty sure I'm about to lose it and I'm going to need you to be the one to step in here."
"You talked to him? Did he tell you what was wrong?" Emily asks, knowing that they both had been wanting to get to the bottom of their sons foul mood the past several days.
"Mmm hmm," JJ mutters as she pulls up to a stop light.
"They broke up didn't they?" Emily questions. She had guessed based on the way he was acting that whatever it was that had gotten to him had to involve Claire. Ever since he had started dating her he had been excited every day to go to school and the last several days he had wanted to do nothing but stay in bed.
"Yep," JJ says, popping the sound of the word at the end. "But it's worse than that."
The realization hits Emily before JJ says the words. She doesn't have to. She knows the only thing that can be worse that would make her wife so upset.
"She's pregnant." It's another statement. Not even a hint of inquisitiveness in it. The silence on the other end of the line confirms what she already knew in her gut. "How far along?"
"He doesn't know. I don't even know if she knows for sure."
"Wait, so she's pregnant or she isn't?" Emily asks now confused.
"She thinks she is. She told Henry she thinks she could be."
"Okay," Emily sighs out, running a hand through her hair.
"That's all you have to say, okay?" JJ barks back, unable to bite her tongue with her wife after biting it for so long during her conversation with Henry.
"Babe, take a breath. We don't know anything yet."
"You don't even seem surprised," JJ said, this time the words sounding a little sad instead of angry.
"Of course I am. I'm in shock. But I'm also very well aware that when kids have sex, things can happen. We knew he was having sex and we did everything we could do. We taught him about being safe and respecting his partner. That no means no and that even if no is implied it means no. I don't know what else we could have done. We obviously need to talk to her."
"He's picking her up and bringing her over now," JJ interrupts Emily's thoughts wanting to get to the point of her call. "I'm about five minutes out. He'll be only a few minutes behind me."
"Jayje," Emily says when the silence descends upon them again.
"Yeah?"
"I love you, you know that right?"
"I love you too."